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Day 14: 30s Paragon

Today I’m thinking maybe just do a NE GLM with Omnidimensional. Not really adding anything just bumping up the manifestation.

Yep, yep. That’s the plan. NE GLM with Omnidimensional.

Feeling a lot better just being out and about. Stuff is really getting cleared up. Omni in the NE GLM will really open some doors I think.

Again, going through some old stuff again. So it seems like lately the loops are shorter. I can move through a whole loop in a day. Get some of the upgrades and then dip back into the challenging/changing old beliefs, feelings, etc.

I’m getting lots of healing at times from NE Primal. For my current situation it’s fine. I’m used to it by now. I will say that if I had to be more productive and around people, I might consider just one title. Or maybe if all 3 titles had anti-recon that’d be fine. Just a bit surprising after all my self work, and time with sub club. Still getting down to the nitty gritty. I’ve also had this other thing that’s been part of it, so it’s not subs that are the main culprit. I’d still be going through the process without them. I’d say if anything the subs help to facilitate and move things along.

I feel like if I was still on a healing focused title it’d be no different. But with new Regeneration, might smooth it out a bit. I’m gonna stay on my track though.

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Day 15: No listening

Today seems like maybe a recovery day. As far as the inner overhauls. Maybe it’s because I was up a little later last night. Feeling some slight good feelings though as well.

Got a last minute workout in before work last night. Once I did the workout I felt rejuvenated. Even though it’s not the type of training I planned, isometric holds are great. I also felt like I’m back in condition again at work, wasn’t tired at all. Best feeling work day in awhile.

Went out for a quick errand. Went to a store. A little anxiety but it was toned down. I had some of those unwanted people experiences there a couple times over the years. Maybe go there once a year since. So I was mostly feeling alright, the mind wanted to bring up some stuff, but I felt like I was able to stay in the present pretty good.

I even saw this nice looking chick drive by when I was pulling in. Just felt like yea, I could definitely talk with the ladies if I come across any I like. She didn’t seem to be into me, but oh well. I felt like that would be no issue, and who knows maybe my charm would change that, lol.

But in the store I didn’t really like any attention based on the past. lol. But I can tell I’ve made progress. I feel like life is going to be a whole lot different for me as time passes. In a good way.

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Day 15: 30s GLM & NE Primal

I missed the full workout yesterday. Got too late. The staying up late really did me in, or better, I let it do me in, lol. Ran the quick errand in the morning and did chores to start the day. Didn’t keep the momentum going.

Today I did my psychological sigh, or I think it’s called dragon breathing for 5 mins. Then I did five mines of humming, and breathing in through the nose. For the vagal tone and they say humming helps increase nitric oxide. Then I focused on my 3rd eye while dropping all thoughts. After that I felt the love within again. So I guess that’s the trick for me.

When the new Paragon drops, maybe I’ll get a family member to finally try it out. It bugs me seeing people with health issues. I wish I could help. Just one of those things, hopefully the healthcare system will change for the better soon as well. Some people aren’t open to anything besides the medical providers. Which in my experience is a lot of just take these meds. No nutrition, no lifestyle advice because they aren’t really trained on that. Then to go to those providers who are more holistic, that costs money out of pocket.

So for me that’s my reason to get more money. It would open up more doors. I could help others more somehow. I still don’t want to give up my time. For now though, I couldn’t take on another job. Have to basically care for an elderly family member. Which is fine for me, for now.

My inner possibilities still seem to be expanding. Like yea, I would like to do some traveling and things like that. In my life it’s always been when I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted, I didn’t have the money. Then when I had the money, I didn’t have a lot but it all went to paying bills. I was hopeful that prices would come down, they haven’t. So it still seems that making money outside of a job is best for me. I still haven’t gotten that direction or inspiration yet. But not having extra work gives me time to workout.

Almost forgot that my whole point was to mention something. In the last couple days I was able to get back into the feeling of what it was like when I had a best friend. The good feeling. For the longest time it was about all the bad situations and experiences with people. So that’s definitely a good sign for me. I can get into the feeling of what it was like. That used to be a block for me. When there’d be these sort of exercises where they’d be like ok, so remember a time when you felt good and when things were going great. Or get into the feeling of success, etc. I would kind of draw blanks.

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Day 16: No Listening

Feeling kind of detached. Like chasing women has no pull on me. I take it as a good thing. Coming from someone who has had a high sex drive. It’s just nice place to be sometimes.

It reminded me that I’m not sure I’ve noted any no caring what others think just yet. I guess this time around it’s more just acting and that doesn’t even cross my mind. Like when I went to the store the other day, I had some of that worrying what others would think. But for the most part it’s just I do what I need to do and yea, not really worried about being judged or anything.

Now that I’ve journaled it. It’s like I dug a little deeper and see that maybe there’s some junk about being judged due to being a sexual being or something. It’s funny, at one of my work situations I would get judged and gossipped about, yet it was always those people doing the mouth running that were also doing the judge worthy stuff.

Alright I was looking at a results enhancer for a custom GLM. I then thought ARES would be good. But maybe too intense for now. So it looks like I’ll do NE GLM with Path of Forgiveness. I think that would be a results enhancer for me. I probably still hold things against myself and others. Which is why I’m still a bit of hermit mode.

I still like GLM and Primal. It’s not exciting as other titles. But definitely enhances my life and outlook. Definitely establishing those good foundations for sure.

Man, it’s been happening a lot lately. I’ll be on social media then it gets to be that emotional, negatively bent content. So I snap out of it and I’m like maybe it is time to stay off social media. And many actual people get caught up in that and are all up in comments. lol. They can’t be unplugged. But what am I doing? Procrastinating my workout again, lol.

I am looking at Tyrant module for the GLM NE. It was my original choice after I gave the idea a break. It seems that it would help me get better on focusing on the positive and the desired outcomes. I seem to be breaking those old habits of getting caught in the unwanted. So that would help boost that aspect up for me.

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Day 17: 30s Paragon

Missed the main workout last night again. So it was a recovery week, lol. I was actually feeling it from just doing the mobility. There are some squats and cossack squats in there. So it’s like a mini workout already. I do that daily. Still reconditioning I guess.

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Day 18: no listening

Today the pull is strong on doing a GLM/Primal custom. I just wonder if it’s worth it since I only have 6-7 cycles left for the two titles. Then I’d like to switch it up. Not sure I’d want to go 20 modules either. Maybe I’ll look at 8 modules to see what would be most beneficial.

I want to add the exciting, to me stuff. But still have some things to iron out.

Guess I did need some rest. I got 2 hour nap in today.The past two weeks I was ready to workout on Sunday. But not today.

Got my Primal/GLM custom mocked up. I might hold off for another cycle yet. I think I’m willing to try out a custom on these two cores together. If I spice it up a bit that will keep me from wanting to jump titles. Plus I can cover some extra ground to further solidify that foundational aspect. Plus I only need to buy the two cores and I already have all the rest.

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Day 19: 30s GLM & NE Primal

I’ve been a little more on task and I like it. Last night I came home and instead of getting on my phone and scrolling I just did what I needed and got to sleep.

Started the day like that as well. Then when I sat down to get on my phone to play this game. I noticed how it almost took the wind out of my sails. I was going to work out and now I’m sitting here procrastinating, thinking about a nap, lol. But I did fold my basket of laundry after playing the game.

Been having a dream life again. Though I don’t remember the dreams. Seem to be getting better sleep lately as well. But I still wake up to my alarm. So not getting to sleep quite early enough.

Got a predicament. Since I have a name embedded Primal, I oughta get six cycles out of it. So that’s three more. And in 3 more cycles I’ll have 8 cycles of GLM. So for practical purposes any GLM/Primal custom probably won’t come to fruition. I plan on using both titles for 12 cycles. Then I want to get to new Wanted, and by then, I could be on board for new Chosen. But I suspect there’ll finally be an update for Ascension. And I would probably like to try that one out, even before Chosen or Wanted.

So potentially I could look at a GLM/Primal custom and test out Ascension. But would that be too much? For now I’ll just stick to the gameplan. No changes until I hit 12 cycles of GLM.

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Day 20: No listening

I feel like I’m ending the cycle like it started. Feeling good. Also feeling lighter today. I felt like it’s been a little bit of a healing or clearing cycle, besides the start of it.

The baker’s cyst was slightly hurting after my long day of work on saturday. That’s when it usually bugs me. Again I forgot what it was and thought it was maybe hamstring tendon pain. So no jumping or explosive stuff yet.

Still thinking of a GLM custom. lol. Maybe I’ll make it just without the Primal core.

Kinda funny. Saw my old friend joking with people online. And I got ghosted almost a year ago. Kinda like a breakup when you see the ex with her new man. lol.

I checked my crypto account. I’ve got a decent to me, little chunk adding up. I might have to start focusing on putting any amount in there each month again this year. It’s at least doubled, it’s probably more than that, from what I put in. I don’t think I put any in last year. I wish I had, lol. I can start this year, just small amounts for now.

I just did a quick 5 mins on the exercise bike. I’m improving there. I was able to get a higher heart rate and for the first little bit my performance was increased. I plan on building up to intervals. I am to the point where I like a little bit of vigorous exercise. Looking forward to it a bit. Now for mobility, and the isometric holds. Started doing some planks as well. I noticed the other day that yea, just doing the iso holds has me feeling stronger even just in daily life. My favorite part is going to work and not feeling tired after.

Also looking in the mirror the last few days, I see a good looking guy again. Where previously I was focused on how grey my hair is getting. I’m tightening up again after the holiday break finally. Definitely want to regain that definition, but slowly and surely is the name of the game. It’s like 4 months until tank top weather, so all I gotta do is stay consistent and slowly increase reps or intensity.

It wasn’t the most fun, adventurous, outwardly productive and successful cycle. It was more like inner overhaul. I think come summer time, I’ll be like a new person for sure. Or at least bring back my favorite version of me.

Finally at least put down things I want to paper. I’ve got a list of 7 so far. I haven’t refined them into like goal statements or whatever yet. That’s the plan. To try out the write down what you want. Read it 3x a day sort of thing.

I did find some inspiration today. I saw this video of this chick who lost her job. She was saying she just talks to anybody. She likes to chit chat. Not looking for anything. But she had an affirmation. And so she talked to somebody, they like her, thought she had people/sales skills. Hired her and flew her to some trade show to sell on commission. She made like 7K or something. And it was just for like the week or weekend or something. Everything, travel paid for. Really makes me want to go forward with my glm custom, so I can try out True Sell finally, and some of those other modules I’ve wanted.

I was driving today and saw this alright looking chick. I was at a stop light and we didnt break gaze at each other. Felt comfortable. That was interesting.

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Day 21: 30s Paragon

Cycle 5 completed of GLM.

Cycle 3 completed of NE Primal.

Cycle 2 completed of Paragon.

I suspect GLM may be going deep. It’s the title I’m thinking of NE, or customizing, or even switching out. I don’t think I’ll do any so I’ll just have to stick with it.

I feel none of that with Primal or Paragon.

To me it seems as if this grasping, and wanting more, goes in opposition to GLM. So that’s probably what it is. Just digging deeper finally. The first few cycles I had no recon and couldn’t tell you what GLM was doing for me.

I was driving today. I was talking to my passenger. And as I was turning my head I caught this nice looking chick checking me out. She was looking away so as not to be caught, but she wasn’t fast enough. That was nice. So that’s 2 days in a row I got checked out by a nice looking woman. And then I saw a few hot chicks while I was driving today. I’d been in a slump of seeing nice looking women for awhile.

I also went and got my boots from the repair shop. The older lady was playful and kinda flirty with me. She wasn’t like that when I dropped them off 3 weeks ago. She’s older and not hot though.

Still considering that GLM name embedded. King’s Radiance or Divine Self-Image would be good. Plus the NE would add a new dimension since I might have the title jumping recon with GLM lately.

Might take a 7-10 day washout. But I’ll play it by ear. Usually 5 days off ends up being enough. I can see that I might have taken a cognitive slump, and feel like 8 hours isn’t enough sleep the last few days. But I haven’t been able to nap since a few days ago. If I get 8 hours sleep I usually am not able to nap.

There is a phenomenon many people report when they start letting go as a practice. They find they let go and get really sleepy. So to me that’s probably what’s going on. Been making those great changes and that’s really why the 5 days off became part of the recommendations. Just need a little break from time to time.

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Day 1 no listening

So I had a plan awhile ago. Every 4-6 cycles take a longer break. It’s probably been 6 cycles since I’ve taken more than 5 days off. I’m gonna take 10 days off.

I have still had results, and rather than push through. I’m gonna let the processing cue empty out a bit.

Today feeling like I really want to be working out. Now that I’m 43, it’s more about consistency rather than pushing it. I wish I was back in my 20’s-30’s. If I had subs back then, man. At least I’m still working out now. I’m pretty sure none of my old friends even work out at all. But what I’ve found is that it’s one of those things. If you have a job and family, I can definitely see how there’s no time, or seemingly no time. When I worked full time, it was like all I did was work, workout, and sleep. That was my life.

I think I’ve gotten to the point where if I take too much time off I will feel it. Skipped a few of my back/core days and the back is feeling it. So I’ll do that today.

Inner weather is light and slightly good, maybe that optimism still shining through a bit.

Just did a check and I can’t find this cyst that was behind my knee anymore.

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Day 2: No listening

I’m planning for 15 days off. I think that will be a nice little refresher washout.

I went to the store today. I walked down to one end then came back the other way. On the way back I noticed a lady, maybe slightly older than me. She had a great butt, kinda cute. But probably a mom and married kinda vibes. But I happened to look down the aisle while I was walking by and she was looking, and had a bit of that excited energy. To me it was possible that she maybe saw me walk by and was into me. But I won’t count that one. That one was a maybe. The store was pretty empty and nobody else walked by besides me.

I think Primal might actually be a good fit for me and will turn out to be pretty attractive. I say that now but I almost forget I felt like I had a lot of healing from it, lol. So far it does seem like it’s been clearing and now after 3 cycles I’m starting to get some of those results again. Definitely keeping this for 12 cycles. The longer I stay with it I think the more gains I will see, and I won’t have that FOMO on something like Wanted or Wanted Dream Boy.

I was having a little bit of health anxiety lately. Paragon seems to be working on changing the beliefs and whatever. Even though this knee cyst has disappeared, there was some occasional health anxiety. I guess just living in the world we do, knowing people who have had the big C, and other health issues seemingly being the norm now. That’s the sort of program out there.

Found a new chick to watch. She talks about her manifesting life. Really great energy. She is kind of going viral and that’s how I found her. She’s only like 22 or something, but really great. Nothing new but the presentation is good and I guess I should be jealous, like how did she get it so quick. When I was her age the secret was still the big thing and I never got that kind of success. I guess I had so much junk to dump first. So that’s been my path. Then I found that for me it’s more about just dropping the junk and getting in touch with the quiet mind and good feeling kind of thing. Then whatever is right for me comes along and surprises me. But lately I’m getting back into the idea of writing down what I want, getting clear on what I want and experiencing that side of things again.

That’s kind of my experience with subs too. I listen and just go about my life, and I get surprised by life. So I guess for me it’s more of dumping the junk, then the unconscious mind is able to bring about those surprises and good things.

I bought a new pair of pants a few weeks ago. Been wearing them for a week with no belt. But today forward, I gotta wear a belt. Keto diet working. Just a matter of consistency. I’ll be trim for tank top weather.

The idea of people not reaching out to me has been coming up. Like no friends ever contact me. The only way I’d still have friends is if I contacted them. I got a bit of a reframe on that. It seems like it’s been that way all my life, I can think of a few instances. I guess when I had best friends it seemed like a back and forth. I’d ask them to hang out and they’d ask me. After a certain point nobody ever reached out anymore. So back then I could have took on the frame of me being the chooser. Instead I guess I took it as a hit to my self-image. At least from here on out, my new frame is that I’m the chooser. Or it’s also showing me what I want- more of the what I think of as friends thing. They ask me to hang out and I ask them.

I only have one friend I’d like to get back in touch with. Also been thinking of one of my cousins. He lives like three states away though. I think in the future I’d consider moving there and I’m sure he’d like that. He gave up on women and thinks they’re too much trouble. So he just works and drives trucks or something, lol.

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Day 3: No listening

Was so tired my eyes were burning and tearing up last night. Also took the night off from working out. Still got 3 days in this week. Got to bed early. Even slept an extra 2 hours this morning.

Was feeling fine at work. I’m back to full condition. 3 workouts a week is actually doing great things for me, despite me thinking I wanna do 5 workouts a week.

My favorite pair of sweat pants needs replacing. They’re pretty loose so I’ll have to start tying the strings again. Trimming down pretty good after about 3-4 weeks back on keto.

Tonight I was feeling a bit like I wasn’t feeling godlike masculinity or very primal. Almost getting a taste of I dunno how to describe it really. Like I was feeling more of the maybe scared self again or something. Yet the anxiety isn’t there. Maybe I got back closer to the core or root of what manifested as anxiety.

15 day washout this time. I was also feeling good and happy earlier in the day also.

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Day 4: no listening

So far I have zero wanting to start back up on a cycle after the usual 5 days.

Finally have been putting into practice this thing. It’s where whatever you think your problem is, you just come up with a statement or goal that is the opposite. So everytime it comes to mind you just ovewrite it with your affirmation. It’s like say any self talk you might have, a simple example is like say you catch yourself not feeling worthy, you’d just say to yourself I am worthy. Until you’ve overwritten the old program. Like everytime the thought or feeling comes up you switch to the new one and that’s the new habit. The idea is that eventually that old program gets overwritten, or at least canceled out.

Noticed a few times where my general confidence is a little higher. Also I’m more grounded in myself and less affected by other people’s opinions. I used to have a habit of knowing how other people think and so I’d hold back a lot.

Also been seeing that for me at least, having a quiet mind is possible. Used to be a huge overthinker, thus the anxiety and stuff. I’ve seen lots of people who say that’s like a mental health issue or something where if you come up with scenarios in your head. But those are also the people who identify with their diagnosis. Me, just through observing my mind and doing the work I do. I just understand myself better. Before when I was in the worst of it, like when I was working normal jobs and people were so crappy to me. I didn’t think it was possible for me to just not think and have a quiet mind. But now it definitely seems possible and for me the way to go. Just in my little practice of observing my thoughts and focusing on the space between the eyebrows, my mind has gotten quieter and focus is better. Just in a few mins a day. No set time just do it once a day. Would like to do 2x a day but not gonna force it.

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Day 5: No listening

Might be a good time for a social media break. Just seeing what it’s like today. It’s a lot of the stuff that they used to call people crazy for talking about. Now a whole lot more people are talking about it. Some people were way too far ahead, and for me that was not a good experience. I can see how people are still stuck in the program. It’s just the new thing to get reactive and argue over and be right about. They’re in the program but now it’s just on to this other thing because that’s what came out. Yet many seem to be still using it for division and the usual. I’m still not into talking about any of it. My experience was not good. And for mental health reasons, I am kinda done with that stuff anyway.

As far as the keto diet. I haven’t gotten back into the groove. In practice I have. But the effortlessness isn’t quite back yet. I mean in terms of me having thoughts like well, I could just eat whatever it is, that would throw me out of keto. But no big deal because my body is changing so fast. Or it’s still 4 months away until tank top season is back. But I treat it like observing thoughts in the mind. That’s all it is, thought and feeling. I just don’t engage or identify with it. Eventually the mind moves on to something else and that want is gone.

So it maybe takes 4-6 weeks until I see those body changes that get me locked in. Like if I see my arms look particularly good and more definition, then that overrides any desires to fall off keto again.

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Day 6: No listening

I’m thinking about taking 30 days off. I’ll see how it goes. Seems like for me a stressful time.

I was running some quick errands today. I was feeling a little cranky. Last time I was like that it reminded me of what I used to think men were, when I was a kid. Kinda cranky. But now I kind of understand it better. For me it’s from not getting as much sleep as I’d like. But you still gotta get things done regardless. And it’s not negative for me, it’s more like it is what it is.

Yep, yep. Still seems like I’m gonna be on a 30 day washout. Just clear out any processing cues. Reset a bit and then get back to it.

Appears to be another 3 workout week. Just feeling like it’s a rest day. Would like to have gotten a nap in. I’ll just pretend some more, lol.

I guess today when I was kinda crabby, it was more an experience of that power and masculinity. Not toxic at all. I think Primal balanced it and I still would have happily engaged anyone, not bleeding my crankiness into the interaction. I’m just going over the Primal copy again for a refresher.

Lol. Kinda funny. Now I have a clearer idea of what’s going on for me. When I walk around I get respect from strangers. So that’s that regality and dominance. Yet when I talk with people I’m comfortable with my fun and playful side comes out. So I don’t get unwanted attention and am still able to just have fun at the right times. Still haven’t gotten into the ladies part yet. But I would say that’s definitely brewing. I mean I’ve started to see an uptick in being checked out. But still not swimming in a sea of worthy potential. By that I mean I am not seeing lots of hotties yet.

Yea, I’m a big fan of Primal.

Now I gotta check out the GLM copy.

I almost forgot I got a few head nods and was treated by respect with any male workers I walked by or interacted with today.

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Day 7: No listening

Today was the first day where I had the thought, I feel good. I probably could start another cycle if I wanted to. I’m gonna do at least 15 days off though. It’s reset time for me.

I keep realizing after the day, that I need to work out earlier in the day. Because I never know what comes up to interrupt it later. Maybe I need to write it down so it sticks.

Maaaan. New Paragon came out yesterday! Just found out. I want to run a cycle now with just new Paragon.

I wished I was on Love Bomb for Valentine’s season.

I was planning on taking the night off. I’ve been so tired all day. Kept the caffeine to 200mg today. I don’t want to rely on 300mg a day.

So before dinner I took some catuaba. It’s some herb powder that is apparently for libido purposes. So after dinner I go to take a nap, and all of the sudden I snap out of it and feeling back to normal. I’d taken it before but didn’t notice much. But for some reason it kicked in today. Not like caffeine, just got me feeling good and no way I’m taking a nap. Gonna get that workout in right now. It’s weird, I’m checking reviews and some people say it helps them sleep, yet it’s a nervous system stimulant, not like caffeine though. Maybe more adaptogenic based on the reviews. Some say energy, some say they get better sleep from it.

That little boost didn’t last too long. Just enough to get me moving again.

I also been hitting those angel numbers as they call them today. My first clock check of the day was 12:12. I got an 8:08, just got a 10:10. And there were a few more instances. Just making note…

I think I’m going to try this catuaba stuff in the am and then in the pm before work. It has a little mood boost, but not caffeine stim. Won’t keep a guy up, awake that is.

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Day 8: No listening

Had a bit of a low day today, also some anxiety. Felt a little of that old existence.

So now after work I’m thinking I would be okay switching out GLM. I think I’d do Love Bomb if I were to do that. But the extended washout isn’t over yet.

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Day 9: No listening

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Day 10: No listening

Starting to think about when to start up again. I say 15 days for sure. I think that would be a good washout. In another week I’ll probably be itching to start up the cycle. The urge is kind of picking up now.

Feeling a little down after work. I’d say lonely but not wishing I had someone to hang out with. So maybe the unconscious let go of some more of the old me or something. Trying to nap wouldn’t work and the usual distractions aren’t catching my interest. I guess maybe it’s some nostalgia. I used to have an online friend group that ended like 6 years ago. But don’t have that right now. Been so long since I had an actual in person friend group that there’s nothing to miss there. When I was working around people, definitely nothing to miss. Lol yea it might’ve been about 15 years since I worked at a place where it was basically working with friends.

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Day 11: No listening

I got 8 hours of sleep. But I feel like I want to catch up on sleep. When I get 8 hours though, a nap usually doesn’t happen. So it’s another rest day for me.

I’m thinking I have a story to change. That I don’t see hot chicks. I would like to change the experience to seeing hot chicks everywhere. lol.

Might have to focus on the core and back training again. I started up on the self traction unit. It really helps free up the tightness and prevents a chiropractor visit. Like once every few months it acts up then I do the traction for a week or two and take it forgranted. Then stop doing it.

Yea, wishing I had gorgeous manifestor module in my stack.

I can still see a 30 day washout. I don’t know when else I’d do it this year if not now. I think for me 30 days off once in a year will be standard practice.

I haven’t gotten myself to re-read GLM copy. I don’t want to force myself. I’d rather go back over Primal copy.