ABC333 Khan Black

[ABC333]

Day 4 of 5: No listening

The other day I had a chick do the undertalk thing. She said man, like she felt like I was a real man or something. lol. Like they see or feel you and they’ll say things to themselves about you, but I’m pretty sure they don’t realize they’re saying it out loud. I’m not sure how to describe this thing, I call it some sort of analyzation. It’s almost like a ethereal presence effect or something similar I’ve had for quite awhile on some people. Well, it’s that vibe check thing women do. They’ll feel your vibe or energy. But I’ve had men do that too. I call them the NPC’s. That external focus and no sense of the true self, and inner fulfillment, so they seek out their jollies by negativity and judging kind of stuff. Then they get everyone else to focus on you and I found that the “good” people only get good vibes, so it really does seem to be kind of that mirror thing. We see what we are, not what is.

So anyway, I think that tells me that GLM is working. I haven’t been looking for results because I’m only on 30 seconds. It’s really a set it and forget it slow burn approach with GLM, well how I’m doing it anyway.

I’m really looking forward to the inner game overhaul with Primal back in the mix. I still not feeling how I’d like internally, all the time. I still get that situational anxiety just when I’m out and about more often than I’d like.

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I gotta load my ipod up with the books on dating/seduction to go with Primal. To expand my horizons and give myself something to work with to find out what works for me.

Nights

Tired and cranky, and hungry tonight. I think my metabolism is kicked back in since I restarted the workout routine.

I got a micro loops of CFW in today. I didn’t realize I wasn’t on a playlist on the ipod. But it was only 10 seconds or less. I’m was waiting until I get the new name embedded Primal to update the playlist for it.

The last two days I’ve been having some junk surface again. I feel like maybe singularity has also been having some bloom. Like my energy is flowing but also the junk is getting pushed through, so recon.

I’m thinking I’ll move forward on this next cycle with two titles. GLM and Survival Instinct. I’ll let this stuff get worked out and then bring on Primal. Plus that gives me that one cycle buffer when I change titles, which for me seems to be a good practice.

End of Nights

The other day it came up for me again. The thing about those with naturally high sexual energy, might just be healers or something. The first person to heal is always yourself, and some people say the definition of a healer is someone who was sick and got better, and a great healer is someone who was very sick and got better quickly.

So I think I’m still working through things, not that I need to be healed. But I haven’t had the realization that I already am. I mean I know intellectually that we’re more than the bodies and minds.

I’m also at another point where I feel like I need to take a social media break. So getting back into the workout routine will be a big help for me. I also got back to being reminded that I need to focus on myself first. Sometimes I get caught up in wanting to help others and never thought I was one to neglect myself, but sometimes I think that happens. I get carried away by the outer too.

I am looking forward to having 4+ cycles of GLM under my belt though. I’m really looking forward to those changes.

[ABC333]

Day 5 of 5: No listening

Whatever inner struggle or upheaval that was, seems to have settled last night. Feeling much more normal now. Normal but “enhanced” I guess.

It feels like one of those night and day things. If I hadn’t had that little 2 day recon battle, I’d be like I’m definitely adding Primal this cycle. But I think I’ll still take a cycle off before switching to Primal from CFW.

Yea things are just feeling a lot lighter today. Definitely broke through whatever that was the last two days.

I’m kind of looking forward to the new Regeneration. I will look at that for a future run. I still probably need some DRR time, but I’d like to hopefully make it as smooth as possible.

I almost decided to bring back my bread and butter title, Spartan. But I’m sure it’ll do me good to only have a 2 title stack for a cycle.

I would run my SI/Spartan custom if I didn’t make it so heavy duty. But you know what, I could change my mind but I’d certainly have to microloop it because ending the year, I’d like minimal to no recon.

It was a tough call betwen Beast Unleashed and Primal. But I’m going ahead with Primal for this cycle. I think it hits on what seems to be the things I need to work on the best. I could really use that IDGAF and work on some of that dating seduction area again.

End of Night

I guess working out and looking decent is still important to me. I was at work thinking how I might work in a Beast Unleashed. But I can take a few more cycles. Survival Instinct will build the groundwork, so I can be injury free and will be ready for the more intense exercise. That’s when I’d want Beast and New Wanted, to try out the physical shifting.

[ABC333]

Day 1 of 21: 15m SI

I just a saw a meme that said people who repeatedly post about their workouts online are more likely to suffer from psychological problems. Thats from some data. Lol. Journals don’t count! I only post about my workouts in my journal.

Felt back to normal at work finally. Gotta build that conditioning again and got a few weak spots I need to work on. Just need to do some balance work for the feet muscles and gotta be working those hamstring tendons. Havent worn the knee supports in like a month either, don’t need em anymore.

I got a vibe check yesterday. It seems that vibe checks from women mean some level of interest or attraction and also there’s chemistry or theres not. So no need to have attachments to outcomes, it’s either there or it’s not.

Night

I think I don’t actually need any dating seduction titles for now. I’m actually going with Sanguine now. The bare essentials, low stress, grounded vibes to finish out the year.

So the current stack is now SI, GLM, Sanguine.

[ABC333]

Day 2 of 21: No Listening

I got a vibe check today. The creeper variety. It was a woman. It was the eavesdropping variety. Just off putting, would they like that same attention on them? I don’t think so.

In the past that used to trigger anxiety, then the mind would ramp up not wanting to be seen in certain ways which would make it worse. But this time I got grounded, felt confident and masculine and it was a you’re not getting access to my energy kind of thing. So the sword and shield. That’s pretty much what I’ve been going for with healing and my stacks.

I also want to accentuate the positives for sure and be in a place where that stuff isnt part of my reality. I also have struggled with not wanting to be mean. But at the same time if you’re being violated it’s not being mean. It’s having boundaries because the people who do that shady stuff usually cant handle the same type of attention on themselves. But certainly my goal is to resolve anything in me that would contribute to the unwanted situations.

Afternoon

I still will probably go with Primal. I think it will smooth out the bumpiness. I don’t consider them major bumps, but I think it will offer my experience some smoothing properties. In terms of not letting things bother me and I’m sure it will smooth out the social/dating aspects.

I also would love to see the fun scripting enter the fold. I mean it’s still there but I think Primal just sounds like too good of a title for me to skip out on it, especially after my name embedded arrives, tonight or tomorrow.

For the last week we’ll say, my energy has been active again. So I think we’re starting to near the end of the cleansing purification stage. Seems like maybe starting the transition into whatever the next phase is. It seems after purification things get smoother. This process has taken quite a long time, years, and it wasn’t something I was knowingly trying to bring about.

Night

I got 7 hours of sleep last night. Now I’m ready for bed. A little rough yet with the processing at times, just energetically. Nothing like back in April though. It’s less to do with my titles and more this inner work that has been part of my life for awhile, this energetic awakening thing.

When I got into subclub I dont think I quite knew what was going on. I just thought I had bad anxiety. But I see light on the horizon yet. May have to hermit up for awhile longer, lol. Just when I was starting to feel like maybe I can get a normal job again and be around people maybe. Lol. Primal will help though for sure.

No name embedded Primal yet. So that means tomorrow sometime I’ll have it. I think it’s definitely break time from healing titles. My idea was to expedite the releasing process. At any rate I think Primal is the perfect change of pace.

Definitely working in self love for daily practice again. I gotta try and hit the workout yet for today.

Lol, new Regeneration drops tomorrow. I need to sleep on it. Who knows maybe I’ll do a coin flip on Primal or Regeneration.

Man. There’s a little bit of fear that came up now. But it was some slight sadness. Maybe digging deeper, grounds for possible insights or revelations. Going through it a little, but getting through it. I don’t even consider it effects from my stack. I think it’s just clearing out the junk that was there before I ever knew about subs. But I guess it could be from my titles, of course they have some influence. I could also be getting a taste of the anti-recon from GLM.

I haven’t even listened to my first 1 min loop of GLM yet this cycle. That’s tomorrow. At this rate, I might play the safe bet and stick with GLM and SI for a cycle to see how things unfold.

I was extra tired to finish the day and that certainly influences things. I also feel like I’ve been having some of that purification stuff going on. Junk surfacing to be released finally. So for me it’s probably time to put the phone down and keep my internet to this journal mainly. Might be tough but I have noticed my morning meditation has gone well lately. No desire to look at my phone, none of that restless stuff where I’m wanting the time to be up. So I think I can do a social media break cold turkey. I’ll aim to go the rest of the week without any social media.

[ABC333]

Say 3 of 21: 1 min GLM, 7:30 CFW

Woke up and immediately check the time. It is 7:07 am. I actually looked up 7 angel number last night. I’m not into them but it has been so long since I used to see the repeating numbers. Everything was coming up 7 for a brief time last night. Going back to sleep. I think. 4 hours of sleep so far. Was definitely dreaming but I don’t recall about what.

Got up after 7 hours total sleep. I’m not trying to keep the streak going. I’m trying to sleep some more.

Looks like 7 is the sleep number again.

Things feel lighter. A good night’s rest is just what I needed. Even if any unwanted thoughts come up, it’s just remembering this too shall pass. But overall feeling lighter.

About to do my 1 min of GLM now.

Did the workout last night. I have some sort of muscle knot or trigger point in my right pec. I haven’t started pushups again. Will try the massage gun.’

Well I’m feeling pretty good. I think I’m gonna stick with CFW after all.

This is cycle 5 of CFW, 3 of Survival Instinct, 2 of GLM.

I realized it’s the band pullapart exercises I do for warmup, that got me this soreness in my right pec. It also hits the biceps on one exercise. So these chest expander contraptions are pretty nifty, they make them so u can add or subtract resistance bands.

[ABC333]

Day 4 of 21: no listening

Lol took me until just now to notice my error in my last journal entry heading. I’ll leave it.

I woke up close enough to 7 hours that I went to the bank and had to give somebody a ride somewhere.

Now I’m having a rough day. The mind is doing it’s thing again.

I got to the bank and noticed how, hey my mind isn’t doing it’s thing again. This is nice. Then as I was leaving, it started up, and it wasn’t until I was leaving that I noticed someone had pulled up beside me in the other lane. It seems to be, I call it alarm bells. Not that I’m in any physical danger, but something about certain people’s energies sets off the alarm bells. Probably just that hypervigilance/sensitivity thing.

So I’m having some energetic sensitivity again. Some of those things I thought I was finally done with are kicking up a little. So purification still in progress. I didn’t hold to my social media break yesterday but I kept it to a minimum. Today is a day to probably stay off it completely.

Also have company here, but I’m staying in my room. Not the most ideal thing. Sort of just ride it out mode for now. But I can manage for sure. I’m pretty sure I’ve already been through the worst. Now it’s just learning to not get carried away with the monkey mind. Learning to shift that focus or attention and just be without thoughts. Hasn’t been the easiest thing, sometimes yea.

So I think GLM is the right title for sure. Just needs time.

Just that fast my mind is more settled. Not carried away and thinking I need to seek outside assistance. I found people can’t understand and it’s been the opposite of helpfuI, explaining it. I don’t know if Eventide is in SI but I do tend to keep more to myself instead of falling for the be open and vulnerable stuff. Did that and found that people are a bit shady and not always looking out for my best interest. I guess it’s to me, being more masculine and not being open and vulnerable, just with myself.

I do notice that in this transition phase of the energy awakening stuff, that I move through things a lot faster. Certainly not getting caught up like the first couple major shifts I went through. I learned some things, lol.

I do wish I’d checked if Regeneration was ready when I woke up on the day I listened to CFW. But I’d actually like to try to finish out as many cycles on CFW as I can. But with the Regeneration update, I think I’ve gotta use that instead starting next cycle.

I also think KB would be a good bet right now too. I just don’t wanna switch titles, don’t know what I’d drop. I kinda been waiting for the new KB to drop soon. SI stays, GLM stays, and third slot is CFW and next cycle Regeneration. But thinking about it, KB would probably be noteworthy as well.

Shoot, I might just get back on KB next cycle but we got a whole cycle to see how things pan out.

Afternoon

Workout time. Feel like I wished I’d gotten more sleep. Maybe a late nap or early bedtime hopefully. Took the 250mg caffeine pre-workout today. Didn’t cause anxiety.

Now I’m set on doing Chosen instead of Regen or KB or CFW next cycle. I have built momentum, now with cycle 5 of CFW. So yea, I’d like to keep going into Chosen. That takes me full circle back to my original plan. I want to run Primal and Chosen together but still set on SI and GLM. Chosen has some physical shifting so I could trade SI in 2 cycles.

Evenings

Things have lightened up a lot now, once again.

I think I will go for Primal next cycle. I guess that’s what my mind is working on. I was thinking how earlier today when I went to give this person a ride. I had to wait for them. They go pick up some stuff like a sort of fresh market, but to a person’s house. So I was standing there and asked how much so I could write the check, and the lady didn’t have much goodwill towards me. But it’s because she made a story up in her head about me. Because I’ve been there like maybe 4 times, it’s like once a month. So we go there and it’s early for me, I normally have to wake up a few hours before my normal time. So naturally I’m not the best version of myself. I would just like to get back to bed, which normally doesn’t happen. But I’m getting through it doing my best, not trying to be impatient or anything, definitely not social. So the person probably thinks I’m whatever, I don’t know. But not much goodwill towards me.

So I’m thinking I could use a little social boost. I think what made CFW hit so well the first time I ran it, was that I had it paired with LBFH I think. So I was expecting lots of that stuff again, but without the LBFH, it just hasn’t produced that level of surprises that I got last time. So I’m still working on the balance and noticing what results I get and how I may want to tweak things a bit. So a goodwill/social boost aspect would be nice to have in my stack. It’s just that I’m not usually in social situations, I’m in the cave working out, or meditating and inner work type stuff or just resting type of stuff.

Nights

Now I’m feeling some sadness come up. It’s such a rare feeling for me. But I take it as a positive, things are moving and shifting. There’s absolutely no story with it, at least not consciously. It used to be that wishing I had friends stuff, but that seems to be gone.

I have been doing this 396 hz solfeggio meditation for fear. Been almost 3 months. Since I felt sadness tonight I decided that means it’s time to move to the 417hz meditation. I went pretty deep and it’s really nice. Maybe I’ll work my way through the whole set as I feel it’s time to move on.

I will probably read up on microcosmic orbit meditation. I did it very briefly years ago. I liked the inner smile meditation more. But i think it might be helpful with my energy situation. The energy can sometimes be distracting so it came to mind that I’ll have to look into it again. Back then the idea of it was more abstract and it was more intellectual than an actual experience of energy.

[ABC333]

Day 5 of 21: 15m Survival Instinct

6.5 hours of sleep. Feels like I’m awake for the day now. I’d still like to be getting 8 hours a night. Body feels energized but from a mental perspective, I’d like to hit the snooze button.

First task of the day: swept up the kitchen/dining area. Doesn’t take long but it’s checked off the list.

Evenings

I did get in a 2 hour nap this afternoon.

Was wondering if I should consider going back to an energy title too. Singularity, Alchemist, KB. Probably KB to wash through and clear out the channels or Alchemist.

Nights

Just finished my 417hz solfeggio meditation. Lately I’ve been getting some sort of flickers of sensation in between my eyebrows, since the energy has been active again. I got nice and settled into meditation, turning within and there were a few times where I was aware of love and simultaneously I felt that love in between the eyebrows. Then at another point like on top of my head i felt some good sensation. I wasnt’ doing any of it. Also had like small bursts of nice sensation I guess in the base of the spine area and lower back.

I wasn’t trying to do any of that. So the 417hz seems to be hitting the spot maybe. Also it showed me that whatever this unfolding is, is really a time for me to turn within and surrender to the process. Social media can be distracting while there’s energy sensitivity. Not that it’s bad. Just seems more productive to turn within. So it’s not social hour. Still open on what my next title may be. Now it seems Love Bomb is in the running, but since I can already feel the love within, Regeneration will probably be the winner. Though that remains to be seen. I could always just go Chosen.

[ABC333]

Day 6 of 21: No listening

Woke up after two hours had an intense nightmare. Heart was racing when I woke up but was able to pretty much instantly go back to sleep. Then woke up maybe 3 hours later, a nightmare but not as bad. I can’t even remember what they were about.

8.5 hours of sleep I’m calculating, just the 2 wake ups from dreams.

So far today I seem to be back to a more normal state of existing. Feeling tired like I wish I could be sleeping in yet. Slightly cranky. lol.

I gotta get some morning tasks done so I can get to the pre-workout and workout, which I’m looking forward to.

Afternoon

Well the energy sensitivity, as I call, it is still there. It can be distracting, but a little wild. It can be fun when it’s these lovely energies. I don’t necessarily feel the negative energy, but I just get the mental alarm bells, anxiety stuff around certain people. With other people there can be nothing or neutral. So yea, I think it’ll all work itself out eventually.

Lol. I’ve got two weeks to go for the cycle. And I’m keeping track of which title is winning. I think it’s going to be my original plan, Chosen. Chosen, then Primal/Regeneration.

I had to go to the bank again. A different one. Got vibe checked by a nice looking blonde walking in. She was noticing me and that’s why I noticed her. I looked back and saw her walking, she was looking at me but her attention was in her body where mine was in mine. So that’s kind of how I know. I am not feeling chipper today. I think I’m working through some trauma or block, mind is mostly settled, and I’m able to be present. But it feels like what I call slight anxiety or being on edge, not a people day for me.

Lol. Now I’m getting some feelings of sadness moving through. My tear ducts are almost active. Lol but noticing it just seems to lighten it up. Maybe because sad is such a rare and almost novel experience to me in my adult life. Prolly why it’s been what I call anxiety mostly. Bottled up perhaps.

My name embedded Primal just arrived! I kept meaning to check it the last two days and ended up forgetting about it. It just showed up in my email!

I didn’t do much on the stuff coming up. I think I do two rounds of the, could I let go of wanting to change it? Could I let it go? Would I? When? and now maybe an hour later I have those good love vibes bubbling up, along with a certain lightness.

I’m probably also on 60 days, semen retention. It wasn’t planned. I just decided to go with it. Even when the sexual energy gets high there’s just no desire to “release.” I have no plans but just gonna see where that goes. They call it no nut November, well it’s been no nut September, October for me so far.

I think the secret for me has just been having my energy active again. Just having that energy active and moving at times, I guess for me has cut down on the desire to chase women. Maybe it’s that thing where there’s some talk in spiritual circles of the spiritual or mystical experiences being better than sex. I think it’s also that finding everything within component.

Night

Feel really clarified after tonight’s meditation. Feel like a good night of sleep now, and tomorrow’s a brand new day.

I bought a new polo, and a long sleeve polo today. I don’t go anywhere, yet, to be looking nice. But I got the long sleeve since it’s almost winter and I could use an extra one. Before it was all 1/4 zip long sleeve workout type tops I could just throw over my tank tops that I wear since I’m home all day. So I’m still wanting to look nice, but just don’t have the occasion. I guess being alive is an occasion, lol. Oh, and they were on sale. Got a good deal so that’s why I jumped on them. I’ve been wanting to replace my favorite most comfortable polo. It’s gotta be ten years old. But on sale it’s like $30 so I haven’t replaced it yet.

On the what sub next. I might end up staying on this stack, no changes. I made it past the 4 cycle drop off with CFW. I say drop off to mean that I tend to drop the title and move to another one. But I just want to get max gains out of CFW. Plus I want to be on Chosen and Primal together. So the more time I spend on CFW, the better.

I guess my pull towards Chosen is the positive side of things. I definitely saw some interesting things in my first 4 cycle run of it. Plus I think it will just help me with people and do away with any of the problems I’ve had in the past. Although Regeneration would probably help in the, I can be me and people aren’t going to give me problems kind of thing. But Chosen is just more attractive for me as a title. I’d like to add Worthiness Recalibration to it for a touch of wealth.

[ABC333]

Day 7: 7:30m CFW, 1m GLM

Woke up after 3 hours from a nightmare. 3 hours later, woke up from another nightmare. Very mild ones, don’t recall what they were about. 7 hours of sleep, so far.

All indicators pointing to back to normal now. Perhaps this energy has stabilized a bit and found a cleaner flow.

Afternoon

Just did my loops. Just felt good listening to my loops again. So there must be clearer energy channels and alignment or something. Blasted through some blocks or traumas so there seems to be a nice flow. Nothing paradigm shattering, which is fine in my book.

Night

Decided to go work and do my tomorrow work today, half of it. I was driving to work, got to this intersection. There was a chick sitting in her vehicle at the gas station, parked. He car was facing me. And it was just obvious that she was staring at me. I didn’t bother to check if she was into me or what, lol. I just ignored her and pretended to be oblivious. Something had her attention.

I got to work and realized now that I was moving around. I maybe had an excess of energy, I almost got pulled into anxiety mode but didn’t. But if that keeps up, at least it’ll be good for workouts. I can tell there is still some junk to be cleared, transmuted, purified or whatever. Not super major, but slightly annoying since I’ve already spent so much of my life on that clearing aspect. But again, I’m sure it’ll work itself out. I’ll keep doing my work and more surrendering.

The crazy thing is I have a scrubby beard right now. It’s not a filled in one either. But my appearance doesn’t seem to matter. It’s that thing, if there’s chemistry there’s chemistry. Primal appears attractive for that more not caring, but the good kind. The kind where you’re just free to be you kind of stuff. But so far I’m still kind of set on getting at least 6 cycles out of CFW. Plus I’m on GLM, and I think 4 cycles of that would be good before I bring on a Chosen or Primal.

Survival Instinct, CFW, and GLM probably hits on a lot of what some women find attractive. Safety, security, masculinity, positive leader stuff.

I had some frustrations and self questioning come up at work tonight. But it seems to have blown over. I also remember that when stuff comes up, it’s not coming up to take over my life, it’s coming up to leave my life.

[ABC333]

Day 8: no listening

6 hours of sleep. I don’t particularly like it because it doesn’t fit my personal paradigm. At the very very least I want 7 hours, lol.

After settling back in bed, it’s kind of nice. I feel good in my body. Seems that I just have a few extra hours in my day today. I should use that for some quiet me time or something.

Just did my morning meditation like half hour ago. Still lounging. Just started getting some more sensation between the eyebrows. Dare I say it, I might be getting a little taste of bliss.

I’m skimming over the GLM copy again. I guess I hadn’t made mental note that it has status and power aura. So that could have been what hit that chick who was starting at me yesterday. Coupled with CFW, and SI, I might be seeing more interesting reactions as time goes on. Radiating charisma unbeknownst to me I guess. That lets me know that I may not need Chosen so soon. I’ll plan for my name embedded Primal as my next addition when the time comes.

Afternoon’

Just went and picked up some food. I experienced inner resistance/tension when I was out in public. I was reading an old post of mine about Primal, I said it had strong energetic boundaries for me. That’s that not being bothered by the outside world kind of thing. But GLM has that stuff too. So still riding out the rough waters at times in public. At home and alone, really notice my inner world changing to more harmony. So just a matter of time and the outer will start to reflect that.

What is seems to be is the social pressure kind of thing weighing on me yet. As far as people wanting you to conform to their version of reality. I think that’s what’s in Primal and other titles that I like so much. Breaking the societal conditioning stuff.

——-
Just finished work. Was fine today. I got to work and went to take my pre-workout, but it had spilled because I didn’t have the lid tightly closed. So I went and bought an energy drink. I never drink those but I was in a pinch. It was actually alright for not having the ingredients Or level of them that I would like.

Being out in public the edge came off. But seems like a quiet me time night, with no social media now.

I just remembered I got some maybe status challenges from the challenging family member last few days. It was off my radar felt like they’d been reformed. But that’s also a hint that GLM has been at work for me.

I guess I was reading the wrong copy, I was reading Commander copy not regular GLM. Been having a few mishaps nothing big. Just adjusting to this process that is unfolding yet. lol.

[ABC333]

Day 9: 15 min SI

7.5 hours of sleep. No plans for the day. Just workout.

Lots of objectives for GLM. I guess I really have to take time to digest that copy. Not sure exactly why I’m listening to it, I just know it’s good for me. Like a multi-vitamin sort of approach for now.

Energy sensitivity seems to be way down so far today. So maybe I’m on a rest and recuperate day as far as that stuff is concerned. It’s workout time!

Oh I forgot to mention. I’m starting to experience the sort of flow of movement. Efficiency, gracefulness, ease, whatever stuff. I think that’s from Survival Instinct. At work I noticed the last few days I’m moving better and feeling better in my body. So that’s a nice touch. Like the cool movie type moves if you watch action or martial arts type movies. Just doing daily tasks. It’s stuff that if I tried to plan it or something I prolly couldn’t, it’s just I do it and it works. I guess you could call it intuitive movement even.

Yep, GLM looks like an essential title for me, as I’ve read through the copy again. Planning long term with it. I’m still toying with switching out CFW, but I think it’s probably just hitting on some of those things that I’d like to move past. I’m on cycle 5 with the CFW, so I probably won’t be able to get myself to switch it for Regeneration. I’m thinking 8 cycles with CFW, that would give me 12 cycles total with the current version of CFW. I was hopeful about the updates, but I’m not going to get my hopes up and expect them anytime soon for CFW, and Chosen.

Afternoon

I’m due for a caffeine break. When I get to 300mg of caffeine daily I used to take 21-30 days off. I don’t do 300mg daily but every other day. Today I got 350mg, I split a sample pre-workout into two doses about 2-3 hours apart. The other thing is some of the pre-workouts don’t hit, and some with less caffeine hit. So I guess it’s like anything else, if I find one that works, that’s the one I gotta stick with. There’s something to be said about variety, but after awhile you get a better idea of what’s gonna do it for you.

I had a metaphor but I forgot it already. I was going to apply my pre-workout philosophy to subs, I think. But it seems my body is energized, but the brain power isn’t quite getting the energy hit. So probably some traumas or blockages in the brain/mind realms to be worked through yet. I don’t really talk in chakras but say those upper chakras are probably still getting worked on.

Evening

I was laying on my bed just now, doing some releasing (letting go). I noticed the energy started to build again. I know I had that insight before, where if I just surrender, the energy starts to build. Well letting go is basically the same as surrendering. Just with a more mental component for me anyway. I noticed that the energy started to build. So not to get into theory or intellectualizing, but it seems like surrendering or letting go gets you into the energy, that creative force if you will. Because it’s surrendering the feelings, the concepts all that, and for whatever reason that seems to tap the creative force, but for me it’s not how can I control it. It’s one of those things, it just is, it already is harmony, fulfillment or whatever. So all I can do is keep surrendering or letting go, or in most cases get back to my human tasks, lol. So for me I take all the thoughts/feelings down to are they coming from wanting approval, control, or security? and I let those go. Like the box of tissues, you pull one out another one comes up and you just keep letting go of each one. The idea, until the box is empty, at least if you’re working on a particular topic. That’s why I’ve never been one to take out my feelings on others, even that seems to be what they all do. For me I work on me, that’s what I can “control” if you will. My feelings, only I can let them go, and even if I don’t know it was “me” who caused my feelings, it’s like I put them there via my own misbeliefs as EFT might call them. And it’s also the same idea with Ho’oponopono, I clear all my data, I work on “myself.”

Night

I didn’t hit that workout yet today. That Monday workout has been tough. I gotta will myself to get that one in. So yea, I’ll knock it out now before bed. Even with the pre-workout I still didn’t get it in. Well I guess I did 1/3 of it earlier but still gotta finish the main part.

[ABC333]

Day 10: No listening

7 hours of sleep only because I have a schedule to start the day today. Gotta be somewhere at a certain time.

Woke up to the alarm. So could’ve been an 8 hour sleep night maybe, lol.

I’m kinda leaning towards starting Chosen next cycle. I feel like I won’t lose any progress from CFW, it’s the next step for me. Plus it’ll be nice to be off the healing for the last 2 months of the year, with the major holidays in the US and all.

Afternoon

Wasn’t a fun people day for me, so far. A lot of waiting and some shopping. I was having the anxiety mind and moments of quiet. So it was either quiet mind or don’t think of a pink elephant. To me I liken it to some of these bots or early AI’s. They let them loose and from interacting with people on social media they become racist, and homophobic, and whatever all that stuff. Now they say some even get anxiety and depression, lol.

But I think the same type of thing happened to my mind sometimes. Like why would I be afraid these women are gonna think i’m a grape farmer. But then it’s like that’s what got put out there, so many are actually like that. The me too stuff and all that, and politics. Just a mess. Primal would be a good bet, but I’m still pulled toward that Chosen.

I think that will really help me out on the social front. But I do also not like the surface level type stuff that you seem to have to do with people, if you don’t want to be judged and kind of outcast. I’m a you be you, I be me. No problems. But it’s not always that way with others, it’s put on the nice mask and pretend we’re this and if you don’t do what I like, then you’re gonna get it, lol.

Either way I think I can take a break from CFW. GLM will work on a lot of this stuff as well.

Probably go with Primal. It has respect and fun, and be a hit with the ladies. To me Chosen is higher status so Primal would be like a bridge.

Here’s one: Stanford paid 35,000 people to quit social media for 6 weeks, and were astounded by the results. The participants happiness rose so high that they said it was like therapy.

Even old women do the vibe check. Not every woman does it but an old woman did the vibe check on me today, lol. It’s definitely like wired into the females. Probably that thing to see if this is a friend or foe.

Today was definitely a two dose day of the nootropic. The pre-anything. 300mg of caffeine and I’ve still been trying to nap.

Evening

A day off social media for me. I was just thinking that the old lady who vibe checked me didn’t appear to have good will towards me. lol. Maybe just more concerned with her safety from the bad world.

I have not had many positive/goodwill type hits lately. When I first started on CFW I felt like I was seeing some stuff. But I probably got into the nitty gritty of healing or something. My new plan is to drop CFW after this cycle. Do at least 1 cycle with only SI and GLM. Then after that little washout from CFW, move on to my name embedded Primal most likely.
’
I also wonder if maybe Survival Instinct has some Fearsome module type thing in there. So it could be that generally I’m off people’s radars unless they don’t like me or something. I get some attractive women checking me out, and then notice that some people who are vibe checking me just don’t seem to have those good vibes towards me. That’s kind of what I’m thinking, some Fearsome type effect from SI.

The only thing I would add to my current stack would be some sort of Inner Circle component. Maybe even a Vibe of Approachability module. CFW hasn’t been able to pull it off, but I am running SI at 15, and CFW at 7.5. SI is leading the charge, besides the CFW healing. Or even better, instead of people approaching me, me knowing which people to approach, as in the people who might be my inner circle or something like that. I think with SI, that’s more the way to go. Unless it’s like helpful people approaching me or something.

Now I’m thinking maybe I’ll dust off Love Bomb to finish the year. That’ll ease the load for me, since I’ve used LB and LBFH a bit already. GLM and SI can do the heavy lifting and get some space.

Not getting as much sleep as my body wanted today, seems to have brought some more gunk to the surface. Feeling a little low. Nothing major, I see it as a plus, still making headway.

Night

Felt better after work. The new plan is to hunker down for one more cycle as is. Then I may drop both SI and CFW. Take one cycle with just GLM and start my new year stack. Looks like Primal and Beast Unleashed, and GLM.

[ABC333]

Day 11: no listening

6 hours of sleep was able to go back to sleep for just about 7. I got to bed last night and was feeling pretty good and stayed up until 4am. That’s a little later than I prefer. Might take a nap today, that would be nice if I can’t get a little more sleep in.

So far feeling alright today. Almost in great day mode.

Afternoon

Did a grocery store run. I was feeling good mood, great day in body, but kind cranky in the mind. I get to the store, no hot chicks today. Mind got a little turbulent as has been its habit sometimes. But I was almost in a fun mood, so it couldn’t get a grip on me.

Got to the cashier and it was a cougar lady, not super hot just alright. But she kinda gave that impressed look when I spoke, I had the deep resonant voice going on, and laid back vibe but confident I guess.

Then I was driving home and thinking how this might be the masculinity influence. I was feeling more like how I sense some men are.

I was kinda cranky in mind, yet fun, playful vibe. A little asshole, but still fun and playful, not worried. Might even say some slight dominance, where I might think it’s kind of pushy but for most people it’s probably just a normal level thing. I still have some kinks to work out, as far as resistance and stuff, but it was still a nice experience. Now my body feels like it’s had a pre-workout, and it’s workout time.

Oh I also noticed that I could look people in the eyes again. Lately that hasn’t been the case. I’ve had anxiety come up out in public lately. So yea, making progress.

Got some anxiety flushing through now. The nice part is it’s a day off, no company, no schedules to keep so I can just let the process happen. I’m at home with a bit of privacy. Sometimes I wish there was an off and on switch. Like okay I got errands and work to do, people to see so it’s off. But that’s just not how it works. Just going through the crucible of life.

Lol, that was quick. Maybe surrender or allowing is the trick. Not easy when around people tho.

Now some ever so slight anger. A memory popped off of this body builder dude who had the shitty friend who was my co-worker. The co-worker was a shitty dude and he was a dumbass. But his bodybuilder friend didnt know his friends situation with me. So he tried to intimidate me thinking he was a white knight. So some desire to have that crush the enemies vibe. Lol, I tried OG Khan and it’s just wasn’t not my vibe though. Made it stage 3 only, lol. That was why I tried it actually. Shitty toxic work situation I ended up quitting.Primal will be good, Primal and Chosen.

Evening

CFW must be cooking. Some more little thoughts from the past coming through. No major insights, just seem to be emptying the log books maybe. For me all my junk seems to come from people situations, or rather beliefs/decisions I unknowingly made about the people situations. I may end up sticking to the program and looking at swapping out SI at some point.

Lol now I’d love to Add CWON to CFW instead of SI. That’d be a good holiday duo. Ideally, I’d maybe have a SI/CWON custom. Or, for the future plans, CWON/GLM could work.

CWON could definitely replace SI in my stack. But I wouldn’t go too many cycles without bringing Beast Unleashed or Spartan Apex back.

Night

I wish I could call it an early night. The way it’s been going is if I’m really tired, then I end up feeling fine by bedtime. That’s probably due to my work schedule. Also sometimes it seems that whenever some resistance is dropped or worked through, then I can feel pretty good and end up staying up later than I’d like. I usually pretend to nap until I snap out of it and can maybe get back to some letting go or something. But I have dropped a couple hours off my preferred sleeping time. 7 seems to be my number now. I used to be able to sleep 9 hours and 8 was my minimum to feel good.

Lol. Alright so I was thinking since I seem to be good at having ladies attracted to me, I should just do my name embedded Primal. I wanna keep CFW also. The part I need improvement on is making good use of the attraction. Even when I’ve had women start talking to me, I guess I didn’t have that internal reality of making something happen.

Gonna stop SI. Just gotta decide how to finish the cycle. Maybe just take three days off instead of every other day with CFW, GLM.

What the heck?! It’s a listening day! Time for my CFW, GLM loops!

Loops in. Man sometimes stuff comes up. So it’s a back and forth. I love the process but for me it requires solitude. And I can’t count on that for the next few months. I also don’t want to take an extended washout. At the same time it’s like well the process is already started and there’s no turning back. So I’m sure I’ll bounce back again and keep going back and forth on what my plan is gonna be. There is only now, lol. Good night. CWON could pull off an upset to earn a slot, because it’s got stuff to help with the emotions and it’s not a healing title per se.

[ABC333]

Day 13: No listening

Yesterday was a listening day. 7:30 CFW, 1m GLM.

Almost 7 hours of sleep. Definitely awake and there’ll be no sleeping in again .

Almost in a great day mood as well. Mostly calm mental weather.

The thing is when stuff comes up and I’m flushing out the inner junk, I want to do CWON. But when it’s all clear sunny, I want to hop on my name embedded Primal. GLM, stays put long term.

I think GLM will actually help me solve a big chunk of what I want, just with time. So it’s not too important on whether I go with CWON or Primal, it’s just which flavor I prefer. Primal will be probably an all year title as well in the new year for me.

Afternoon

I got the new coordinates. It’s CWON,Primal, and GLM next cycle.

Still in flush out the junk, empty the logs mode. Seems to be slight sadness, not bad all. It finally seems to be some stuff about my own mis-beliefs,feelings I made about “myself.” Though it’s just a sense, no stories are coming up with it so far.

Feeling normal again as far as any energy activity. Seems to be turned within as part of the purification process, as it were.

On the workout front, I may be doing 1-2 workouts a week. The rest of the days I can walk and do mobility, maybe start up the biking routine again. My body seems to need recovery after a few weeks off. Easing back into it and for hopefully a short time, I might only need 1-2 workouts per week for recovery purposes. I think as far as for being 43 now, I’m doing better than many of my peers. My old friends probably don’t even work out at all anymore.

Evening

Got a little deeper into some of the sad type feelings. Dropping some attachments. Nothing close to tears tho, lols. Might be some feelings of rejection and attachment. I didn’t get a response on a comment on someone’s post that I know. Seems to have triggered and pulled some stuff up. It’s gotta be old junk and not about that specific situation.

CWON and Primal are gonna be great. CWON will continue the work and remove negativity and accentuate the positive and even spread some of that to others. Primal will really tune up my mindset and inner game so I can thrive, which means the social game.

Night

Feeling pretty good to end the night. I feel like it’s time to get to sleep and I just got home. So I’ll try that out.

[ABC333]

Day 13: 7.5m CFW, 1m GLM

6.5 hours of sleep. Decided to try just a standard 2 title listening schedule to finish out the cycle. SI is no longer in my stack.

Man, hearing about some of the situations other people have to deal with at work and stuff, makes me think SI isn’t the best title. It’s probably Art of War and Chosen, if I had to be around people more. But it’s one of those things, people feel like they can’t leave those toxic work places, they kind of just feel like they have to grin and bear it. Ideally, I’d find a place with good people. So probably Inner Circle would need to be in a work/people stack.

Yea, I forget about that part of people. I’m basically hermit mode yet. Don’t have much interaction with the masses. But when I hear about someone or their situation, it’s never good and it seems like it’s some people problem. I get dropped down in vibe for sure, but I bounce back way quicker. I change things like I don’t ask about people anymore, lol. Unless I suspect it might be good or neutral. Then when someone tells me something, it’s like oh yea. I remember that’s one of those things that always seemed to drop my vibe so I don’t entertain that anymore.

Yea, I have a heart but too much of a heart. Too loyal, etc. So I gotta be more selfish and unaffected. But still have the good heart and more just deal with me instead of trying to change the world. That’s one of those hamster wheel situations. Only a person can take themselves off it, and even if you know what they should do, they can’t hear it until they’re ready. Which tends to mean they’ve endured enough pain or whatever. The problems always think it’s everyone else and everything else. Yet the problem can’t see that it’s its own problem. The consciousness must change, and that doesn’t start with other. It’s a lot of oh you make me so angry and it’s them that are the problem, well, what about the complainer? The one who sees or experiences the problem? Aren’t they the problem too? Within every problem contains the solution, but the problem consciousness has no solutions.

Evening
Throughout my difficulties, with say these awakenings and trying to navigate toxic people situations, I’ve always kept up my workout routine. It just dawned on me that I’ve been seeing posts about new discoveries. That exercise is better than therapy for anxiety and depression, and things like exercise helps you forget trauma and stuff like that. But I never saw any of that back then, it was just I felt like it was my thing, on some level I probably knew it was good for me. I wasn’t into drink or drugs, it was just workout, work, and sleep while I was working full time.

Night

3 times today I was startled when I saw someone. I was so in my own world and focus that it was like all of the sudden they were there. lol.

I just did a check in the mirror. I’m always impressed by how my physique looks with minimal training. I haven’t even started on pushups and pulls again. But I’m still looking muscular in the shoulders and upper body, trim waist. Still no six pack but I haven’t been going for that yet. I even thought I was looking skinny and losing muscle tone after my 2 week stint with strep throat. I have the rear deltoids popping and I was going to say I don’t know how I got that. But it’s gotta be the band pull apart exercises. Those are just warmups. Got some arm definition. Not bragging but it just blows my mind. All I do is one or two days of knee,legs,calves stuff and just warmup mobility stuff and walking so far. I don’t even do shoulder presses and haven’t in years.

[ABC333]

Day 14: No listening

I may have achieved one of those mythical 9 hours of sleep. I woke up after 4 for a bathroom break. I was in bed probably sleeping at midnight. Then I slept almost 5 hours after the bathroom break.

I’m feeling like I would go hang out with somebody, I mean,if I had somebody to hang with, lol. Not lonely but it’s more of that feeling when you just wanna go hang out with a friend or your friends. Like normal people do I guess. So some good feelings of when I used to do that. I’d say I’m experiencing some of that aliveness that I used to feel so long ago, in regards to when I had friends and at least had what I considered “good” people to hang out with.

If a new Ascension dropped soon I’d probably throw it in the stack for next year. Just because. lol. Then it would be GLM,Primal, and Ascension. I just had a flashback to the brief time I tested Ascended Mogul, it seemed to be powerful and for me intimidating at times based on others reactions at work. But the good people really wanted to tip me. One time I got a $20 tip and that wasn’t really a tip getting job. He was like a wealthy farmer or something. So he prolly felt like I was on his level and liked me. The toxics were definitely wary but still had too much attention on me.

Seems like some good memories and feelings are getting jogged up so far today.

Afternoon

Welp, I’m doing myself a disservice. I no longer check the Regeneration thread. I’m set on my titles. I think CFW is great, and will only get better with that anticipated update. I do check the Wanted thread though. I am still planning on that one for a spring/summer tester. I am mostly looking forward to that physical shifting stuff and inner game/self love or whatever stuff. The being Wanted will be a bonus. It’s been a long time since I’ve actually been propositioned. But I do still occasionally see interested women, I just haven’t made any moves on that front. Spartan seemed to be the last really attractive title for me. I think GLM will help for sure, but I’m still microlooping my way to that sweet spot.

I’m more optimistic about running something with wealth for the new year also. It’s just that I like to have something for the fitness/health workout boost in the stack.

Evening

The inner weather picked up late afternoon into the evening. Now I’m thinking I gotta go with LB instead of CWON. Just a refresher on the LB. CWON is because I wanted to spread the good yet. But LB is probably the ticket for now.

The sometimes challenging family member was trying to throw some jabs. Just the usual saying things in a way that they’re assuming I’m wrong and stuff like that. It’s way down though, I think CFW has surely helped with that.

I can see that I’m not reactive. That’s been a magic wand in the past. If somebody blows up on me for what I see as no reason, not from me anyway. Then I don’t react and I definitely don’t do the body language that I’m trying to get a reaction from them because I’m not reacting kinds of things either. But the person softens and they get a little cleaner mirror. I don’t know if that thing lasts, usually I don’t see much of the person anymore, or I just don’t have to deal with them. I think GLM is certainly a winner. For me it still seems slow burn, but the conscious glimpses I get say it’s just going to get better for me.

Heck as I’m still breathing the fresh air after the cleansing process. I even helped it with some conscious processing myself. I’m thinking I’ll just go with LB and CWON next cycle. I’m not in the super rush to get to Primal because even though it’s good for inner game, I still see more internal work and processing to be done on my part. I mean, before I try and jump into the, what to me have been murky, shark infested waters, of the people world. It’s that and a lot of unconsciousness. Yea, after I entered the work world I definitely became a hermit, because it was just people were mostly nice and cool until I entered the work life. These were different animals. I never had to deal with bullying in school, probably because I was always one of the bigger kids and I wasn’t looking for fights and stuff. Then at work I think I got that abusive treatment because they probably knew that they weren’t gonna get whooped for it. I mean we all have to have a job to pay our bills right? Well, of course there were a couple instances growing up. But I’ll probably have to sit down and go over my past experiences to see if I can get to the root of the people bs, in me.

Night

Ended up blazing through my work tonight. Not out of emotion. I just had the go juice for some reason tonight. I even got done with my night work maybe the fastest I’ve done it, pretty close.

[ABC333]

Day 15: 7:30 CFW, 1m GLM

6.5 hrs sleep. Just couldn’t do more. Even with the time change back an hour.

Afternoon

Having what many would call a bad day. It got entertaining to me. At the petrol station, third one. Will update later.

Alright, settle in. Could be another long one…

I decided to order pizza today. Pizza Hut had these little $5 pizzas. Bigger than a those regular personal sized pizza’s. I wasn’t very hungry at the time and didn’t know what I was in the mood for. $5? Done. So I go all the way to that end of town, we lost our pizza hut right by my house, so it’s maybe 15 min drive now. I get there and find out I mistakenly ordered from the pizza in the next town. Which is right across the bridge, that’s where I go to the lake and sometimes pick up a pizza on the way. That’s my sunday after work routine. Okay, fine.

I’m also feeling off today, I can tell. I went inside and yea, still squeezing out those past experiences with people. Some part of me is still expecting to encounter some of those just bad,wrong, people experiences that I’ve had before. But I realize they were fine, it was just my own past making an appearance.

So then I have to stop at the gas station. I figure it’ll be a wait, but at this point it’s out of my control. Gas station is like 5 mins away, and that was the plan. Grab pizza and gas and go hang out at home until work.

Get to the gas station it’s a mess, one row of pumps is out. This place is always busy there’s a line. So I say nope, and I’m heading for the interstate. We gonna go get pizza. I’ll get gas somewhere else. I get my pizza pull over to eat it since I’m a half hour late on picking it up. I decide to text an aunt of mine. She’s had some spiritual situations and felt like she could be my confidant, someone I could talk to and share such things. But like everyone else she’s still got her beliefs and personal reality. So I start opening up, and then she’s telling me oh I’m so happy and grateful that I’m free now and I live a free life. lol. That’s when I knew, no help there. It’s like bro, I follow you on facebook! haha! It’s a lot of oh this person hurt my feelings, and problems, and I’d say sometimes bad luck and that kind of stuff. So she believes she’s free and healed, and I didn’t say anything of any of that too her. Pointless argument. So I kind of explained a little more and left it at that. So I left feeling like oh she’s enlightened, yea right, and I have the problems. lol. I certainly don’t claim that at all. I’m on the idea that maybe it is a never-ending process. It’s not a belief, oh I’m this or that. Because then the brain just blocks out all contrary information. Me I’m more of a truth guy, an all is one guy. I don’t have that realization yet beyond glimpses and intellect but that’s the goal, if one can make such a thing a goal.

So now I go to the gas station, it’s just like a block away. Been there many times over the years. Used to be a regular spot for me. So I get to the pump. The electronics are all complicated. Buttons don’t line up with words on the screen. I finally get set up. Waiting for a few minutes for the cashier to activate the pump. Doesn’t and I decide to go to the next stop. I could have walked in, but I figure there’s a place across the street. So there I go. Get there, I know this place, I used to work at one of these for like a year or two back around 2012 era. So I do the things at the pump, nothing happens! And I’m not in the mood to ask for help yet.

So I drive back to the original gas station which is like 20 minute drive again, and wait in line like 20 minutes. So it’s like 2.5 hours later and I should have picked something up to eat when I got home. Now I’m hungry.

I think what snapped me out of it was trying to talk to my aunt. I guess that shook me loose. To where I remembered it is out my hands, man. The day is as the day is, as it will be. ahahah. Then that sense of humor rose up a little and I just had to go with it. That’s life, man. haha.

Got home, one scoop of the Skywalk nootropic supplement. I think life is good. I was planning on being a one scoop day, but I’ll have another scoop before work.

Oh, I did go with 15 mins of CFW today. I know intellectually the goal isn’t full loops. The goal is results and that may vary for each person and even change at times. But I still buy into the idea that full loops equals max results.

I did get to see that I get more into my head when I’m out and about in people world. In the past it was where if I did the self observation thing then others would observe “me” too. But they weren’t impartial observers. They tended to be judgmentals and very unconscious of their own programs and habitual ways. I haven’t masteres the art of invisbility thing yet. I think thats more no-mind no self territory. Like a true master could be in the world and wouldn’t necessarily draw so much attention or stand out, except to maybe the right people.

There’ve been times where I wait in the fuel line and I’d be on edge. I’ve had people honk at me before and others tell me where to go. They dont follow the arrows but with the down pumps they kinda had to. Today I was vibing with this chick while she was pumping gas. We were vibing but I was a few cars back. No eye contact I was just plying it cool, looking at other things not focusing too hard on her. But I also had the idea since now I was not on edge or anything. If somebody pulls the honk move I’m going prank mode. I had this idea in my head that I was gonna entertain myself at least if that happened. But no, just a normal day with no people hassles.

Evening

I wonder if my 60+ days semen retention experiment has resulted in me needing less sleep most days. I haven’t found any satisfying info on it. Just guys who do like journals and they treat it like subs. They can break it down like okay this week i noticed this, and so forth. For me it wasn’t planned. My energy awakening or whatever got active again and I just didnt have that urge, maybe the lust was wiped out greatly, lust and attachment. But yea, I couldn’t tell you like what it’s done for me. I don’t really know. For me it’s just a combination of everything.

I am feeling tired. Still feel like my brain/mind isnt getting the energy boost as my body. I’d like to be able to sleep a bit more just for that mental refresher. But also when I get moving, especially at work all is well again. Could be environmental, like habits, why I don’t always get the same boost from the home workouts.

Also I might be taking CFW for-granted. It could be hitting harder than I realize.

Night

I think now that I’m settled and fresh off work. I think I’ll go with 2 titles next cycle. It’ll be CWON and GLM. Maybe I’ll get to see if 2 works better or is more noticeable. Either way, I’ll lighten the load a bit for the holiday months.

Oh I forgot to mention the dream. The dream I woke up from today, I was smoking weed in like a school setting or something. Like I was in school for some reason, lol. Well I haven’t smoked weed since high school, I started getting anxiety and so it wasn’t for me anymore. I was at the gas station pumping my gas today, and a car pulls up and I can just smell all the weed. They must have literally been smoking on the way there. I haven’t smelled it in so long. Just one of those coincidences as they say.

Lolol. I got curious and was browsing the thread to see what might be updated before year’s end. Reinterested in KB now and Wanted. Heck I might just test Wanted and it’ll be great and/or it will get me inspired to start that name embedded Primal so I can get back to Wanted.

The thing is I want to get to 90 days semen retention. But also am still interested in quality women.

It bugged me when I tried to talk to my aunt today. I think it was because I was being open and honest again and it kinda bit me in the butt. I did get more data though. I was telling her about this awakening process how I still was getting through traumas and old junk. Then all she says is oh I’m so happy I live a free life and I’m healed and all this. Lol. But yea looking at her facebook she’s not free at all but she thinks she is. But I knew trying to explain that was pointless. It was like oh yea, I gotta stop doing that. I guess I’ve had that in the past where it’s almost like people get jealous or offended. I’m not saying stuff to be special I was saying it because maybe I could use some help. But then they’ve never been through that kind of stuff. She’s been through probably like alcohol maybe drug treatment, so maybe that is like being reborn and free. I’ve never been through that. We all still see through the limited lens of our own perceptions and beliefs. Getting glimpses and experiences beyond that at least for me has been destabilizing at times, especially trying to talk to people about it. It’s like oh yea, it probably does sound crazy. Then they come back with that’s not real or some of course do the oh can’t meds fix that? Lolol.

[ABC333]

Day 16: no listening

Woke up at 6.5 hrs of sleep. Didnt have to get up so I was able to get back to sleep a couple times to inch up to just about 8 hrs.

I was just walking around my house playing with the placement of my voice. Just having fun seeing what my manly masculine voice is. What’s been my normal voice has been higher chest but the manly is in the lower chest. I feel like if I wanted go I could change the habit. I dont have any regular people I’m around and not too well known yet. Lol so no insecurities or awkward if I wanted to consciously change to the manly man voice.

Afternoonie

Alright. There’s a line in the Wanted copy. Something about you can’t work on yourself forever. I mean I’ll keep letting the junk flush out. I’ll keep emptying the metaphorical tissue box until I realize there is no box, maybe even no me. Lol.

I’m gonna micro loop Wanted and my name embedded Primal with GLM for the next two months. That will potentially lighten things up, and let me test my growth with the dating/romance/seduction titles. Then I can reassess and set my course for the new year. Plus I’ll think of it like an early Christmas present to myself. I been in the healing trenches all year I’d say.

Monday still seems to be the most challenging day to get my workout in. I just remembered that it used to be a daily thing for me. Where I get to workout time and want to nap. Now it’s down to Monday, but if it’s only one day a week, I’ll take it. Monday seems to be a willpower day. Get into the action and then just knock it out.

Evening

Tried to take a nap but got distracted with the phone. Found a quote though. Time to finish out this workout.

“The soul that has tasted the Divine is no longer satisfied by anything that can be named.” -Meister Eckhart

Alright, again changed my mind. It’s gonna be CWON, GLM, and name embedded Primal. CWON continues the CFW work. GLM just stays put. Primal satisfies my desire to test the social/seduction waters again, and maybe throw in a little more fun.

Night

Pretty normal day. Didn’t experience any intense purification today. I am tired though. So may have a little adjustment period to the time change. Now I’ll be in bed at the time that was too late for me just days ago. I’ll go to work an hour later but it’ll be the same time.

I’m actually looking forward to my next few cycles with CWON, and name embedded Primal, and GLM. I think that could actually be a truly fantastic stack. Re-reading the CWON thread has me optimistic.

I wouldn’t even be home from work yet and I’m going to bed right now. Because it’s my normal bedtime even though the clock no longer agrees.

I had been eyeing a caffeine break. Sometimes I take 30 days off. But I did not account for the daylight savings time. So uhh, that’ll be on hold I’m sure.

[ABC333]

Day 17: 15 min CFW, 1 min GLM

I really gotta fight for that 8 hours of sleep. My internal clock said it’s gotta be after 11, and so I got up. It’s after 10. Almost got to 8 hours.

Feeling like it’s a good day, just that I’m still in that waking up type space.

After having those heightened energetic experiences, I seem to be in a lull again. Another woman that I thought was so hot and sexy, just doesn’t do anything for me, lol. Like I have zero interest in sex, but I probably just flushed out some more lust and attachment. I still feel in a good mood, good in the body. I guess I’ve always been a quality over quantity guy.

But definitely like anyone else, periods of lust, I just never made use of it as far as racking up a body count. Just a little strange to me. But the woman I’m not into at all has been saying she’s in a lull herself. So maybe that chemistry, or energy just isn’t vibing and it could bounce back, I’ve seen that happen before too.

There was also another woman I knew for years, was always into her. But then she got a boyfriend now, and her energy changed. She’s just not the same anymore. It’s wild seeing how things happen like that. CWON will probably help me gain more insight onto this kind of ebb and flow, and changing dynamics sort of thing.

So many possibilities with the current version of CWON. Could go great with Alchemist Singularity, KB, Alchemist. Many other potentially great combos as well. I like GLM, CWON as the base and then that third slot would be the energy slot or, for me it’s gonna be name embedded Primal.

I guess now I’m getting the sense of some ever so slight restlessness. Perhaps some resistance to what is. So possibly in one of those in between moments. Digesting some junk for release or something. Still have those good vibes as well.

Now some sense of what do I want. Like, I do want to be with amazing women. Eventually find the right one to settle down with. I want to have some good friends. Meet great people. Have some more adventures. So Primal is a good choice.

Afternoon

I did a grocery run. The place was pretty much empty. I still was having the good old anxiety showing up. But now that I’m home, I’m completely bounced back again.

GLM,CWON, and Primal could potentially wipe that out finally. I think that’s a promising combo for sure. It’s one of those stacks that I think is just a temporary stack. But could end up being more long term. Primal and GLM I’m planning on doing long term. CWON is just kind of a change of pace title. But yea, I could definitely see long term potential in that stack.

I might be pleasantly surprised once I change out CFW with CWON. CFW is probably hitting deeper than I realize, and yet I’m pretty resilient from the rock slides, lol.

Evening

I really like CFW and I’m cool with the process. It’s just that I run it when I know I have time periods where having to socialize isn’t required. It’s more a hunker down time for me. The next gen is probably going to be great. New Regeneration seems to be the ticket especially for healing and still having to be at your job and all that. If it weren’t for the holiday season, I’d just keep right on with CFW.

Yep, seems my energy is working out the purification. No heavy emotions. I did some awareness, observing, surrendering. Then I did some of the letting go. Seems my energies are turned back “within.”

I did get into some slight anger while doing the letting go work. So that’s good. Not really a common emotion for me either. Still making progress.

[ABC333]

Day 18: no listening

Like 7.5 hrs sleep. Feel good though finally. Like I got a good night’s sleep.

In a good mood. Bro, isnt that toxic to be in a good mood every morning? Well now that you mention it, yea! Nobody to criticize me or argue with me. Nobody to try and forcibly brighten their day. Oh wait, maybe I’m thinking of solitude. Haha.

Afternoon

Crikey, mates! I went back to the store because they’re having a good sale. I can stock up on my essentials this week. I get to the store and all these scary monsters pop up again. Anxiety, now I’m feeling cranky, want to go straight to bed after I got home. It’s just data. Seems to be beliefs about people and myself I’m sure. But it comes up as resistance, anxiety, cranky, tired.

It’s definitely time to go to Primal. I’ll be glad to get there. Although later, or even tomorrow I’ll be feeling great again, lol. Definitely time to take a break from the super healing. Primal was great because I didn’t care about what others thought, none of that anxiety about oh they’re gonna think this or that.

So I’ll get back to work, more presence, more surrendering, letting go.

I’m gonna slam that pre-workout and get my workout in. Movement usually helps and it’s just good, even just walking. Recommended.

———

With two listening days left, I’m respectfully bowing out of CFW. This is not goodbye, old friend. We’ll meet again, next gen.

It’ll be 1 min GLM only, the last two listening days.

Evenings

Change of plans again. Instead of CWON next, it’s LB. CWON has some alpha scripting I guess. So I don’t want to go too heavy on it. I’ll have GLM, and Primal in the stack at microloops. LB at full loops because I’ve got experience with it already. After the healing, I think I’d like to check back in with LB, and lick my wounds a bit, lol. I don’t feel like I completed my mission with CFW quite yet. LB also has NSE.

I have a pretty big appetite today. I haven’t for awhile. Since before I got sick, which was like a month ago.