ABC333 Khan Black

Day 4: No Listening

I skipped Foundation Training last night. It was too late and I just went to bed instead. Maybe a part of me wanted to give it a day off and see how my back feels. I wasn’t sure if it was sore from exercise or a tweak. I did get a nice self adjustment when I got to work. I used a doorway to get a good hip adjustment and the lil hip pain went away. Then it just felt a little tweaked once in awhile, but that happens sometimes after an adjustment, there’s some post adjustment soreness.

Evenings

I work out at home in the basement. It’s cold today. Not feeling motivated to workout. I gotta take the pre-workout though. I found one I like. The first jar I did not like because I was so tired and didn’t give me that boost. But now that I seem to be less tired generally, I get a nice light boost. Only 150 grams of caffeine in this thing. And that might be perfect. Too much stims is not something I enjoy or feel like working out on. It’s the Wick Mode pre-workout, you put it on your amazon wish list and every so often it’ll go on sale for 19.99. So that’s the only reason I bought it, it was on sale. But it seems like the perfect speed for me. I took it at work on my long day and work wasn’t a grind. Wasn’t feeling pumped or energetic but it seems to do the trick. Gets me the perfect amount of workout energy without being too much.

Late Evenings

I actually felt bored earlier, it was very brief. Since that’s so rare for me I chalk it up to shifts taking place somewhere in the background.

Also had a sense of something brewing, as far as wanting to express more life force or something. Whether it be having some money making venture or just being able to live how I want So I was of the thought that energy must also be building along with changes and shifts. I think the last time I had that was on KB.

End of nights

Doing my workout now. Haven’t done mobility for two days. Doing my walking I feel lighter and more capable already.I’ve only done one workout, the knees over toes stuff for my knees. One workout where I did 2 sets and also pushups and pulls. I only added one minute to my 3x a week trampoline jumping as well.

But it seems like my body is adjusting quite nicely. I think it’s more a matter of staying consistent to a routine rather than trying to add more reps every workout, which leads to taking days of recovery, which I’m sure there’s a season for. Just after I build up the conditioning for maybe 3 or 4 months. I think that was what was missing in my training. Having had some injuries and pains and having to start over a few times, got me set on the idea of building from the ground up. Now I’m seeing the benefit of just being consistent instead of trying to get as strong as possible or as in shape as fast as possible.

That’s always been one of my issues with things. Wanting to do to much too soon. I am just realizing that it was also in my workouts as well. It’s also nice not being sore all the time. I used to workout hard and then was walking around stiff and sore, not feeling capable. Lowering the intensity and staying consistent has me feeling more capable.

I just did mobility. I feel good now. That should help me in the future. It feels good, it doesn’t take much time at all. I should do it as soon as I wake up in the mornings. But I won’t put the should on myself. Since I wake up later, more around noon or later, that’s when I do my errands. I’ve also been thinking of adding in a short morning meditation session, but again depends on what I’m doing that day it seems.

I still gotta work on knowing when to open my mouth and not. I was talking to the historically challenging family member, the one who always made me feel wrong, and yet told me I was smart. lol. So I got stunted socially because I didn’t know better. Well, I gotta get better at checking myself. I have been a lot better. But I gotta achieve master status, lol. I just looked up the projected forecast for the month of July. So of course I went and told this person, just to make small talk. The person tells me that well, we normally don’t have 90’s and 100’s in July. I didn’t realize until just now that I got caught up in their frame once again. That they’re right and I’m wrong. And it wasn’t even about that for me to begin with! I look online and it says yea 90’s are common in July where we live.

But of course I’m not looking for an argument. For me that’s been a common thing, everybody wants to be right. They love telling you you’re wrong. But oh no, don’t ever tell them they’re wrong. lol. So yea, I still need to become a master of communicating, but I also take that as a limiting belief somewhere. When the more useful path is not reacting, and not taking offense. Understanding that they feel the need to be right and make someone feel wrong, not because I am, but because of their own beliefs and self-image, which they most likely won’t ever change. So I don’t really need to get caught up in that in the first place. It also comes with that energy, and I’m a bit of an HSP. Sensitive to those auras,energies etc. and sometimes am not even aware of it. I just know I like to work on myself so I’m clear and less likely to be affected by “other” and more in touch with my inner knowing and guidance.

I guess I thought it was just line and almost fun fact kind of thing. As far as telling them the temp. I was in that mode and then after mentioning it to them, yea I was once again caught up in that kind of mode of theirs that I’m wrong. It’s just poor communication stuff. And of course them being caught up in their own identity, whatever that is. Not fun I guess. More of the general people thing of being about what’s wrong or not right. I made the mistake of assuming that they were going to follow my lead of being in a lighter fun mood, but nope.

So the thing about me looking up the July forecast was to see if it was going to be 90’s or 100’s maybe. And not one day, and I said if it’s accurate is going to be 90 or 100 in July for us. I was just curious. Plus that far out you can’t take a weather forecast as certain, anyway. I think everybody knows that so I mentioned it. It was just kinda funny to me. So I just assumed they’d think it was funny too, lol. No. They did not.

Oh and I saw a hot lady at the place I clean, normally I don’t see anyone. But I was thinking about how nice that booty was. I’m pretty sure she has a man, and I’m hoping that the universe isn’t that good to me. Where she’ll be attracted and I’ll have a married woman with kids, desiring me at a place I work. I saw somebody else mention in another thread, their married boss wants them and it sounds like a dangerous game lol.

I saw awhile back, I never found the source so it’s an unconfirmed rumor. I think they said Kat Williams said he had done so much work on himself or something, that when he walks into a room, he keeps his head down. Because he doesn’t want to see a married woman and he desires her and the universe says here you go, she’s yours man. Paraphrasing the story I heard. I did not save the video I saw it from either so I wouldn’t know how to locate it besides pure luck. Oh, I know. It was somebody talking about Paramahansa Yogananda. He has said something similar. They said he was on a car ride and he kept his head down the entire time. He didn’t want to see a piece of land and desire it and the universe would give it to him. That was the story. So he did look up at a piece of land and I think that’s the land where his temple or whatever now sits in California. It did become his.

Day 5: No Listening

Was up all night. Still managed to squeeze in 8 hours of sleep today.

Workout went well last night. Today will be my first Foundation workout this week. Missed 2 of those workouts now.

Late Evenings

Still a little procrastinating on working out. Gonna do the walk now.

Alchemist Singularity seems to also be working as a bit of a healing title for me. Things just coming up into consciousness that I call recon. Nothing major. Just a lot of the same things I’ve been working through. People issues, resistance to success etc, etc.

Might go with Essence: Magnetic Social Flow in my custom- instead of Long-Range Seduction. Today I felt like taking another look at what I feel is really going to make for the best custom for me. I was even considering Manipulus modules just for good measure.

Workout was fine. Definitely feels good to be making progress and stay consistent, without being so sore I’m walking around like an old person.

A minor incident from second grade came to mind. I realized that I’d always gone with how others described it. I just realized there was one word, and it was inaccurate. It made it seem worse than it was. So I was probably caring some guilt or shame around it. While I realized the more accurate word. It was a huge shift, but I’m sure it’ll change things for me around it. Like I said it wasn’t a major issue but again, it points to how others may judge and label inaccurately, and I was just going along with it. Without realizing it. So an example of me taking on something that I didn’t need to. So definitely growth.

Day 1: 3:30 Alchemist Singularity

Got easily 10 hours of sleep. Woke up after 5 but was able to sleep longer. So I guess I caught up on any sleep I may have lost, from staying up til like 6:30 am 2 nights ago. Not feeling particularly refreshed.

Still have the I guess I might say slight restlessness, though that may not be the word. It’s more just like vitality and energy is building. Just more life wants to be expressed. So at least today I can channel that into my workout which I’m going to do now.

I opened the door today to check the mail and grab the paper. A woman was driving by and it felt like she was drawn to me. I could feel that energy and she was also looking at me. Normally people drive by and don’t notice me if I’m peeking out. I had to run to the bank. Saw some nice looking women, some great juicy butts, lol. None of them noticed me really. No connections or interest. But at least I finally broke the dry spell of seeing nice looking women. There was one nice chick walking in front of the bank, it wasn’t chemistry vibes. I could tell it was more of maybe a relationship slow build type of vibe. That in a better situation we might be able to build some chemistry and connection through talking. But that right off the bat kind of attraction vibe wasn’t there. I think she was a bit grounded and yea, more of a relationship potential vibe.

LB/LOTS custom is going to be really interesting for me. I think I will go with Long-Range Seduction so I don’t have to buy a new module. I’m thinking maybe Will To Power is gonna need a run, to build up my inner power and healing some stuff. Sounds like it might be a deep hitter. A bit of inner work too. So I think that would suit me before I jump back into any alpha titles. It’ll give me some strategy and tools for the social game. That inner power in the social realm, is something I’ve always been lacking due to mis-beliefs and conditionings from early life. Plus I liked to study sales and stuff like that, but lol apparently lacked that power to get hired or given the opportunities.

Some of these new modules are looking great. Like I could build my own custom and steer it towards more what I like from say Chosen, but customizing it to my own specification. But for now I’m taking it like stages. Ok this is what I need to work on now, and then we’ll get to the next step when the time comes.

Nights

My ankle is tweaked. I didn’t twist it but there’s a pain spot in there. Just from normal movement! Haven’t worked out yet but I’ll start it out and see how it goes. I don’t think it’s something that will keep me from working out.

End of Nights

Missed the workout. Between the ankle feeling tweaked and then we had a tornado warning. Now I’m just ready for some good sleep. Company gone. I was also extra hungry tonight. One day off will be fine.

Day 2: No Listening

Still got a pain spot somewhere in my ankle when I walk. Just a small tweak I guess.

Definitely hungry to start the day also.

Evenings

I think I slept too long. I woke up after 8 hours. But went back to sleep an hour later until the time I’ve been waking up. I even went to sleep early last night.

Ankle pain seems to have disappeared as mysteriously as it arose. It seems to be gone. Late pre-workout and time to put the weight vest on and do the work out.

I was listening to this guy who talks about the hypergamy. A few weeks back he was almost getting negative or pessimistic at least in my perception. So the last few days the vids that show up for me are like just not caring. Like the more you care the less she cares kind of thing. Women only want men who don’t care. I gotta say in my personal reality that seems to be how it is. When I really don’t care these hot chicks get curious and interested. It’s weird it’s almost like one video he’ll say one thing and another video is almost opposite. Like one vid today he was saying that what we’re told is masculine isn’t. It’s designed to benefit women. Like being the provider, the protector, the things we are kind of told is masculine is just for their benefit. Then another video he was saying how yea, it comes down to not caring and just being non-chalant. Which non-chalance to me doesn’t seem like the masculinity thing. He was talking basically about how it’s more chill and being in the now kind of thing. That’s actually what I’m going for with my LB/LOTS custom. Modules about being in the now and approaching it that way, more chill kind of thing. I do want to fit in the non-chalance modules, but I’ll have to save that for another custom. Being in the now with love without attachment. I find that zero attachment is the key and just enjoying yourself. I like to say fall in love with life and have zero attachment and it all works itself out like magic.

Now I’m thirsty. I had a big lunch. Actually still hungry, but maybe it’s more thirst now. The thing is that I find when I eat more I’m also more thirsty after.

Nights

I’m considering a more healing focused title in the Beast Unleashed slot. But I might like Beast Unleashed so I’m not sure how long I’ll keep it in the stack.

I’m thinking Chosen From Within for 4 cycles before I’d move on to Will To Power or True Sell.

If anything I think LB/LOTS will give me all I need for the fitness side of things, at least until I’m ready to lock in again for a good pre-summer run at low bodyfat.

Chosen From Within is a little older as far as being updated. But still seems the most attractive title before something like WTP or TS.

Man, if I do Chosen From Within I’ll have to hold off on LB/LOTS custom. I dont’ want to risk overdoing the healing from LB. So maybe I will go with CFW though, it’ll also boost that LB/LOTS custom when I get to it.

I have been thinking of a healing title too. So I think that’s my stack now.

Stack Update: New stack is AS, CFW, LOTS.

I could still be risking it with the healing. But now is the best time. I can get any heavy duty stuff out of the way by the time the holidays come back around and won’t have to worry about that.

End of Nights

It turns out this is my first time running CFW ZPV2. I had to download the latest version in my downloads for the first time. I’ve only run zpv1. I think it’ll be interesting and good. Well, maybe I just deleted it accidentally. Zpv1 was in my files but marked experimental. In the zpv2 thread I reported using it. I thought so.

Day 3: 30 seconds CFW, 3:30 LOTS

Reading through my notes on CFW, it seems like it was an amazing title for me. The thing was I was excited to get to regular Chosen. I should have just stuck with CFW longer. I think CFW suited me better for sure.

So I think this will be a really good stack. Lots, CFW, AS.

Late Afternoons

At work. Thinking I really sunk my own battleship for my stack. I won’t add any healing at all with CFW. So now I’m considering a CFW/True Sell custom. I’d run that through the winter.

Nights

Work was a little grind. I feel like my high rep is hitting the tendons and ligaments. So that’s actually good for me. I’m not trying to build muscle. I’m more about injury prevention and just building up my body’s ability to do work. When I work my jobs, which is what pays me, it’s basically all endurance and stamina.

I had a new idea at work today. I have this rowing rider exercise machine. I haven’t used it. But since I’ve been wanting to do swings for conditioning, I haven’t because I want to make sure the back is good with foundation training. That I could use the machine as a substitute for the swings. Let’s say just every hour I hit one minute. Since they say you should stand up and walk around or do 10 air squats every hour. I don’t. But I could.

Been really brainstorming on what I could do about a custom now. Potentially a new True Sell is coming. So that puts that idea on hold. Plus would I really want CFW in a custom? I still have LOTS for custom, but what to pair it with if LB is off the table while I’m on CFW. If I’m on CFW through the winter, I should go ahead and do the LOTS custom, but maybe Mind’s Eye for the second core. Definitely no healing is getting added to this stack, modules or anything. So I’m even considering going for just sexiness and good looks with LOTS solo custom.

End of Nights

I would almost be better off going with Wanted, for how I’m wanting to take a LOTS custom.

Alchemist Singularity must be tweaking things. Now it’s like why fight it? We want CFW and Wanted, lol. Wanted gets you the good looks, plus the abundance of women. CFW is your alpha, respect, love, sanguine title. So you get everything you want, but keep putting off or finding another way to. But if I were to intellect it out, I would probably have gone with new Primal.

Day 4: No Listening

The reason why I want to stick with LOTS is because it also has like Paragon Lite scripting for organ health. I don’t have any problems. But with all the health problems of people around me it seems like a good idea. So maybe I just do 4 cycles with CFW again and then I can come back to this LB/LOTS custom.

Afternoon

I’m really thinking on this custom again. I did some light searching for Chosen From Within Customs, it seems only one maybe two that I see, in the posts.

From what I remember, Chosen From Within wasn’t too healing for me. I mean I don’t remember heavy recon. I know I was dealing with life back then.

I am kind of considering CFW/LOTS custom. Basically making my LB/LOTS custom with CFW as the core instead. That would take me through the whole winter. And then I could consider Wanted, and TWTP or True Sell.

I guess I’m not sure of CFW and LOTS in a custom, since LOTS is physical shifting. CFW has none, so maybe it would work. For me what I’d most like is to add in those custom modules. and I wouldn’t add a third title to the stack.

I think that’s what I’ll aim for. CFW/LOTS custom. Why not. I could then microloop True Sell and get a feel for it.

I saw one of these nordic rider machines, it’s like my cardioglide that I got for $10. Well this was $25 so I picked it up thinking it might be better quality. It also has a pushing motion you can do. I found out that is literally impossible for me. The leverage of the machine won’t let me budge it. It has no resistance adjustments and it’s actually harder than the cardioglide. So I’ll save it for backup, or if I really want to pump the biceps. The thing will definitely build more strength than the cardioglide, so I’ll save it for later, lol. The cardioglide has lighter resistance so I can go quicker for the cardio, kettlebell swing pre-conditioning that I’m after.

I took my 150 mg caffeine pre-workout and it’s actually hitting today. My biology must be better or something I don’t know. I was using this 200mg Infinite Brain nootropic stuff. It just wasn’t hitting at all. Yet I’d tried the sample packets and it made me feel good. So possible ingredient quality changes in both products. The 150 caffeine pre was lackluster, at least the first bottle I tried. I only bought it because it went on sale for 19.99. Since I tend towards being a thrifty guy I went for it as the 49.99 (when not on sale) nootropic was running out and it only goes on sale every few months.

Walking around with the weight vest and I tried just some shadow box footwork and bobbing and weaving. I like it. Gives me a feel for how I like that type of training more than the standard one plane of motion stuff. Plus I could get a great athletic workout.

Evenings

Hungry today so I ate more. It’s even a day after my free day. Once again, it actually looked like my waist trimmed down, the day after a free day! I had pizza and enchiladas yesterday.

I bought a course on activating your voice, through different exercises for the vocal muscles. I used to do vocal warmups every day, but wanted to try this because it actually works the vocal muscles which I haven’t seen before.

Feeling a little urgency. I did the walking and mobility. Then ate some food. I have no specific time to workout now. But I feel like it’s some poor conditioning. I noticed I’m feeling some urgency, like I should be doing something. But not. I think that’s conditioning from when I was younger for sure. So it’s my job to transform the pattern, instead of it being a sort of freeze response, where I don’t do anything. I let it go and allow myself to be, or I finish the workout.

I tweaked my custom. It’s not as exciting as the LB/LOTS custom. But I think the pay off will be great, especially with the longer run that I’m planning for. I did add Synergy: Apollon Unbound, just for something I normally wouldn’t go for. Just to pair up with LOTS and make the most of the physical shifting.

Chosen From Within Core
Legacy of the Spartan core
Synergy: Inescapable Gaze
Synergy: Venus Unveiled
Synergy: Semper Praens
Love Without Attachment
Eventide
Tyrant
Treasure Finder
Synergy: Apollon Unbound
You Are Not Alone
Safety Net

Early Nights

Got the workouts done. Just have pushups and pulls left. I woke up early the last two nights. Got hit by tiredness. So I’ll finish the workout at the time I normally go to work.

I also think I’ll go with Safety Net instead of Long-Range Seduction in the custom. I feel like that’s the finishing touch on a well rounded long term, custom to take me to the next level.

No idea why I decided CFW all of the sudden. I still don’t have reasoning for it. It’s not like the recon where I’m going back and forth this title or this title. It was more like this is the one I gotta go with, no questions asked.

End of Nights

Workout was not as easy as it has been. Feeling like I should move the pushups and pulls to tomorrow. But I’ll try them anyway and stick with the same schedule.

I’m still hungry. So I think it’s time to starting doing post workout carbs. I haven’t done them on keto in years. I originally did them. Then lately my workouts were basic so I just didn’t feel the need. But now I’m feeling like I might need to.

I thought about adding the fat burner module in my custom, but since it’s already challenging with the diet aspect. I still need to master it. Might actually have to calculate my calories and just eat maintenance calories instead of being in a deficit which I probably am. My body will probably still recomp, which is lose fat and maybe build a little muscle.

Day 5: 4 mins Alchemist Singularity

Workout turned out fine last night. Today I am tired. Not sure how much sleep I got last night. I’m guessing I got 8 hours.

Been hitting the letting go work today. Nothing major, just back in the habit I guess.

One of these days after my first run of CFW again, I did feel more powerful. Then the next day a little sadness. But I think it’s the best title for me to run to really work out those people problems from the past. Since there’s no dedicated like social/relationship healing title I think this one is the best for me to stick with and work things out. I think that’s why I chose it.

Since the people circus seems to have been my biggest challenge, but really it’s always me, whatever programs and beliefs I unknowingly took on, that lead to me not living in my power and confidence in dealing with others. I went the hermit route, and I do love my alone time. I like my own company and never felt like I needed to get that approval from others. But a lot of others seem to want that approval and control over people, so there seemed to be a clash, and I don’t like being around that.


The workouts progress isn’t going as fast as I’d like. It’s only the second month of straight consistency though. Slightly sore at times, but not enough to keep me from working out 6 days a week. I really want to be adding more of this cardio in. I guess I’m not too big on walking, I could just add like 5 minutes of walking every hour or something. Just don’t have the drive for that. I guess 1 minute on the cardio machine every hour appears to be the simplest solution.

I don’t have the drive to do these vocal muscle exercises either. lol. I gotta go more simple to build the habit again. So I’ve wanted to do 5 minutes of ohming every morning. Just that seems to help the vocals. Plus it can help with vagus nerve or something, humming can stimulate nitric oxide they say. Which is a good thing.

I’m still a bit hesitant to put CFW in a custom. My LBFH/DRLD was a tough run. I maxed out at 3 cycles with it. Not even 15 min loops.

So potentially after a few cycles with CFW, Wanted will probably look more attractive for that LOTS slot. The energy slot is non-negotiable for could be permanently. Because I’m on the Alchemist Royal: Aeon path. So that makes something like Wanted more attractive since a custom might be off the table during any CFW time. To me it’s a little social, and it has that physical shifting and abundance of ladies. But also LOTS is important to me because of the Paragon Lite properties. So maybe CFW will help me develop patience with my development and tap my wisdom to just stay longer term on my titles. CFW is probably attractive, and social enough. Between LOTS and CFW I think that’s an attractive stack, and just general enough so it could cover all areas I want.

Stack Cycle Count: Cycle 3 LOTS, Cycle 2 Alchemist Singularity, Cycle 1 Chosen From Within

My two best titles are CFW and Primal. I would be great to stack them. I’m thinking I run Primal after. CFW for the healing, and feel good and change the way people see me to positive. The prerequisite. But new Primal hadn’t arrived when I was doing CFW. I was saying CFW was the best to help with anxiety. Then when I tried New Primal, that was the best. So it deserves another run after CFW for good measure. When I get to stage 1 of KB again, I’ll take that cycle off CFW for sure.

I’ll keep in mind that I’m just going to keep increasing listening times on my titles. I haven’t made it to that 7 minute mark on any yet. So just for fun I have the idea that I still haven’t gotten to the full package yet.

When ZPv2 first came out I was still doing 15 minute loops. But now I start at 30 seconds and increase by 30 seconds every listen. Slower and steadier I think.

End of Nights

I realized tonight I may have been trying to reinvent the wheel so to speak. It took me until tonight to realize that CFW and Primal were my favorite titles. So it’s now obvious that I need to use those titles for up to a year. Instead of spinning my wheels trying to find the magic bullet. It might be better just to stick with those two titles long term. It might be a thing where I only go 4 cycles with CFW then move on to Primal. I’d like to pair Primal with Khan Black again. If I do that I’ll drop LOTS to 30 second microloops for that time, but keep it in the stack.

So I’m thinking I’ll stick with CFW while I’m on Alchemist Singularity. Might get 6 cycles of AS because after that it’s Khan Black and then Alchemist to get to Aeon. As I go down the road I could see alternating between Primal and CFW. Once I get to AEON the LOTS slot would open up. But that’s not for another year on this plan.

I’m hungry and I just got done with work. Hunger is up lately. Maybe I’m going to have to add a can of chicken, tuna, or start eating eggs as an extra snack. I did start brewer’s yeast to get like 7 grams of fiber and vitamins and a little protein. Maybe I’ll try extra veggies for volume or something.

Kinda planning to eat the normal 4th of July food on Friday. Maybe have a couple beers.

Day 6: No listening

My sleep time has decreased this week. I think I got 6 hours last night.

Waking up hungry. So I’m definitely getting the workouts in and doing something.

Afternoons

I’ve already been having the memory banks jogged after one 30 second loop of CFW. Just those people situations from the past, that I forgot about, but are still running in the background gunking up the now. Nothing major, but we still got some spring cleanup to do, even though it’s summer.

I was reading some people’s reports on their rebounding (trampoline jumping). Some people do it for like 30-45 minutes a day. Some of them are in their late 60’s too! Then there’s the younger adults who find that 5 minutes is tough when they first try it. I’m taking it really slow, because I had the back pain and knee pain. I’m only doing 2 minutes 3x a week, lol. I don’t think I would do 20 minutes straight. I think once I hit 3-5 mins, I’ll just do a minute rest in between. Like fighting rounds. Also there’s more variety of moves you can do, and for now I’m going slow and steady.

My back feels a lot stronger, in the second week of 2 rounds of basic foundation training original workout. I’m looking long term now. So potentially it could take me 6 months to get back to full advanced workout instead of 6 weeks like they lay out as the program.

Evenings

Legs are feeling sore. Overall feeling a little sore today. But I’ll do the walk and mobility and should be feeling better.

Nights

Yea, I’m feeling sore tonight. Will still do the scheduled workout.

I’ve had a few small moments where it seems that CFW may be kicking in. Other people have responded deferentially to me at times already. What is kind of wild for me is LBFH didn’t seem to have the external effects on others, but CFW which is said to be scripted for within one’s self, gets me some obvious external results, in the way others respond to me.

I’m also as of now, leaning towards DRLD as the title to alternate with CFW when the time comes. But we still have to get to the 4 cycle mark with CFW. I like DRLD and putting it in a custom with LBFH was probably not the best idea. Healing titles, for me might be good for like 4 cycles though, then I’d want to switch to something else to get a break. I think DRLD has action taking and going for your goals, and anti-manipulation or something. That’s why it’s on my radar again. Primal just seems like a large title, preferable for me to run in a 2 title stack. I guess I could always go back to Spartan if I want to change gears from CFW.

End of nights

I’m feeling tired and like I could sleep. So I’ve got to take advantage of that since it’s not a work night. I have only gotten 5 days of workouts (per week) the last two weeks. I’m really hungry too and I had a big salad as an extra meal today. I guess it’s not a big deal. It’s just a feeling. But I do feel like I’d like to get a better handle on it. I’m not sure how to calculate my maintenance calories with my activity level, that’s the only thing. If I go by weight I think that would be a little low yet. I don’t feel like I need to eat just because I’m hungry, I’m just thinking in terms of performance and recovery and feeling my best.

I caught a vid today, the guy was talking about the less you care the better- when it comes to women. lol. He said the more you focus on yourself the more they like you. So in my world that might explain why CFW gets more of those people results. Not that I don’t care, I’ve kinda been a care too much guy. But the reason why I used to get propositioned was because I had the social anxiety. So it appeared like I didn’t care and I wasn’t talking the ladies up trying to get a date or anything. So a few of them would actually proposition me. In later years as people got more divisive with everything it just got me a lot of haters, minding my own business doing my job. But I also found that most work places were kind of toxic anyway, in terms of the people with their attitudes and programs. Now, if I’d had CFW, I think my experience in the work world just may have been a little different.

Day 7: 4 mins LOTS, 1 min CFW

I’m actually excited to stick with LOTS. Since I started increasing listening time I’m looking forward to see if it gets better. I think this will actually be a really good stack for me. Alchemist Singularity, LOTS, CFW.

Evenings

It seems I might stick to 5 days of workouts for this 4 week block. I’ll still do walking and mobility 6 days a week.

I have an uncle who I stopped having a relationship with years ago. Now it seems like other people are catching on. I feel kinda bad for the guy, but nobody can change it but him. It appears that he doesn’t have that inner masculinity or whatever to change his life. He’s got health problems, possibly cancer now. He’s lazy. Just got married a year ago. Has a kid in HS. He’s a zero discipline father to his HS kid. He’s a road rager. Very opinionated of course. But he lets his kid drive without even a permit. It’s crazy to me how that’s the thing, people don’t have themselves or their lives together but they sure know what’s wrong in the world. It’s never anything about themselves or their lives. lol.

I’d recommend him Paragon and Emperor: Executive if he was even open to it. That could probably change his whole life, who knows if he’d stick with it though. He used to be a fun, funny guy. But that was probably just to cover up pain inside. He got divorced a long time ago, and his two adult daughters never visit him or anything anymore.

I’m still wanting to custom LOTS. Just a single core custom. I’d want to add the endurance/stamina module, whatever that is, maybe something for the joints/tendons/ligaments. To make up for not having spartan or beast unleashed in the mix. But maybe I wait until that new module pack drops, maybe it’ll have some beast unleashed modules. I also want to have Love Without Attachment in there for good measure.

And the person complaining to me about my uncle, stops herself when she talks about what’s wrong. I ask about family and it’s all problems, lol. So I just don’t engage in that emotional junk. Yea I used to feel bad so I told her don’t tell me about anyone, it’s all bad and it doesn’t make me feel good. It’s their life so I can’t change it for them. But this time I just don’t engage. It’s kind of the only engage with what I’m interested in thing. No annoyance or anything I just don’t entertain that feel bad drama stuff I can’t do anything about and doesn’t have anything to do with me anyway.

There’s even this phenomenon where if people have a disease, and of course I understand this other side to, where people want to tell them about these alternative methods. Being helpful, but most likely unsolicited and not approached via proper psychology. That people kind of know everything so they gotta tell you what you need to do. But some people actually get mad if you tell them about an alternative option, so to me it’s not approached with proper psychology, ala how to win friends and influence people. It’s also that people can’t handle that what they’ve been told is all there is. Like we all believe the world and everything is one way, and if it really isn’t we can’t handle that, we know we’re right so we fight for it rather than consider that what we know as truth may not be so.

I’ve had to face a lot of that in myself. And that shadow stuff. So I know how difficult it was for me at times, that to expect somebody else to do their own inner work, or even change their minds on things, isn’t as easy as some people think it is. Like there’s the oh just get over it crowd. Well they’re not over themselves yet either, they say that so you stop what they think is causing their discomfort. Which is not the outside thing anyway.

Nights

Doing a couple rounds of the Foundation Training really feels good now. It’s core training but focuses on more of the posterior chain. Just feel stronger and I’m sure it helps the posture as well. They say you lose power quickest as you get older. So I definitely want to get back to some power training in a few months. I’m not really into building pounds of muscle so much as keeping a lower fat easy to maintain situation. I want to be strong and be able to move well. Also have endurance and be quick and athletic. It’s just going slower than I’d like. But realizing it’s necessary to have that basic fitness endurance base first and that might take a few months.

Lol. My 4 week block might turn into 8. I wanna be back at 6 days a week of workouts at my new level. But then I do plan to back off to one set of 25 for warmup on exercises, and then instead of another 25 I’ll add weight or progress to single leg work for the second set aiming to hit 25.

Also I’m now planning to try out Wanted again. After I hit at least 4 cycles with LOTS. May be keeping CFW for 6 cycles, we’ll see how that goes.

Not as hungry today but I did drop back into ketosis today. I could tell when I woke up.

Day 8: No Listening

7 hours of sleep. Might get a nap later.

Lol, it’s crazy. How the challenging family member seems to be on their frame me wrong game, or say things to me when I haven’t had a full night’s sleep. So I’m more likely to be reactive. So far it seems like a day where I might not want to open my mouth unless spoken too, lol. I didn’t get reactive because I see where they’re coming from, in terms of what program they running. lol maaan. The same person had shown signs of making sure to say thank you to me and shutting up about negative stuff. So everybody has their days I suppose. I’ve only got my second loop of CFW in yesterday.

I do think CFW does bring some lightness back in to the mix. That’s something I like to have, fun and a sense of humor, not getting hooked in to the BS of others. As far as being in a good mood and happy for no reason, self fulfilled, generally I’ve found in work places that it’s disturbing to people. They’re not happy and in that vibe so rather than rise to join it, they try and tear it down instead. But CFW is like a secret weapon. I dont know why it took so long for me to come back to it. I guess I wanted the LB titles to be the best ones for me.

Late Afternoon

Kind of some feelings today. Wish I was socializing. I hit up the drug store and the grocery store today. No vibes, kind of off vibes. Most people are probably at get togethers or something.

So far if anything I do seem to be getting some light healing with CFW. Lol. I just remembered it was just a few hours ago I was tapped into my sense of humor and laughing. lol. Wanted will also be a welcome change of pace too. Maybe it’ll turn things a bit more social.

After reading through the threads, I think CFW and Wanted really is more in line with my natural vibe. I am going for Wanted instead of Primal, just do to physical shifting. But between the two I should get everything I’m looking for until I want to maybe switch to True Sell.

I always wanted to be in sales, but at the same time dealing with people in general hasn’t been my favorite. It’s that thing where everybody is right and everybody else is wrong. lol. And I never liked how people would talk bad about people then they put on the mask and do that fake nice stuff when they’re around. Luckily there’s Art of War, and TWTP. I don’t want to be manipulative but at the same time, I think those titles would greatly help me in dealing with others. True Social and Daredevil just don’t peak my interest. Maybe if I read through the threads my mind could change.

Okay, I forgot the titles were updated. Daredevil, True Social, and Inner Circle all have their merit and place. True Social and Inner Circle look most intriguing. Inner Circle especially for the focus on productive relationships and getting rid of those draining type relationships. They both look most attractive.


The feelings I’m having now seem to be about feeling like I need to cater to others. Like I need to make sure other people are okay. It seems that it’s not about focusing on my needs and desires. Poor past conditioning. It also feels like it’s related to that workout procrastination/resistance I get sometimes. So I’m going to work out now since I expect to be tired early. 7 hours of sleep usually means that I will need to workout earlier and just get it done. I’ll probably feel like calling it an early night.

Walking and mobility seems to have lifted the feelings a bit. I haven’t had that lately. Where I had some feelings come up and then I’d go to work and feel better. But it still works. If feelings come up before the workout, they’ll get “worked out”.

Lol. I’m reading the Wanted thread today. I’m ready to abandon LOTS for Wanted now. Kind of a weird day for the fourth of july. Weather is not great, threat of severe storm is looming. A little windy. Cloudy. I haven’t heard from a single person today. So uhh, guess I’ll finish out this workout and have some dinner. Like ghost town vibes today man.

End of Nights

Workout felt good. Definitely improving and my calves are looking more muscular. I still gotta do pushups and pulls. Not feeling confident about them, but should be fine.

Yea, it’s kind of building my patience. This new training for consistency and endurance/stamina, rather than increasing reps or weight every workout.

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Day 9: 4:30 of Alchemist Singularity

7 hours of sleep again. So the trend is leaning towards less sleep. I’m not feeling it much so far.

Had some subtle moments of feeling like yea, CFW is just a really good title for me. So potentially my short run 2 years ago is still in there somewhere. As I’ve only done two loops with it, 1 at 30 seconds and 1 at 1 minute.

I did have a free day yesterday. Not like I planned though. But I look in the mirror and my stomach looks tighter. Usually the case after a free day. My arms are looking a little more defined as well. I want to get those great looking arms, but I’ve only been doing pushups and pulls. Haven’t done any focused bi’s or tri’s or even shoulders. They’re coming around slowly but surely. I just had an idea. If that Wednesday feels like a day off, and it’s just mobility and walking-I could just do a set of biceps, triceps, and shoulders just for fun.

Nights

I’m going to toss my desire to run Wanted into the wheelie bin for now. My new plan is to run 4 cycles of LOTS. Then I want to try out this new Beast Unleashed. I’ll keep CFW for 4-6 cycles and will probably switch over to Primal to run alongside Khan Black when I get there.

Beast Unleashed is said to have some effect of neutralizing other’s need to test your boundaries and challenge you. At least that’s a bit what some reports seem to show. That’s something I’m very interested in alongside the workout benefits and everything else in Beast Unleashed.

End of Nights

I missed my Foundation Training workout tonight. I started doing some warm up walking and then realized I didn’t have time. I had to eat and get to work. Not gonna do if after work because that is risking being awake til 6am and I don’t want to do that tonight.

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Day 10: No listening

6 hours of sleep. It was 7, 7, and now 6. I don’t think that’s ideal yet. Not feeling too bad but I got slight bags under my eyes. I was also up until like 7am today. I ran out of that sleep formula so I should be getting some of that again. It seems to help. I only take it Thurs-Sat.

Nights

Work was fine. I went to the lake after work. I was there by myself for I dunno 15 minutes or something. I got there and ate some food and got right on my phone. Then I realized I’m not gonna do that. I’m gonna sit here in my nature spot and just have nothing to do, nowhere to be. I did touch on that kind of timelessness. It was beautiful and when I started feeling good I could tell that it wasn’t because of anything outside, this good feeling was arising from within. Tonight I was also noticing that my self appreciation and just feeling good about “me” was up. CFW showing good things. I think it’s the original Genesis happiness and joy title. Like I’m getting more of that inner fulfillment and not looking for it outside, to me, ironically, the thing that will start attracting people to me. Like people wanting to know me or be in my circle.

Some guy ended up pulling up beside me. Normally I’d leave but I just stayed. Just to see if he would leave. Nope, he starts pulling out his guitar or something. Meanwhile, every spot on the lake is open! So I left. Then I was leaving and I noticed there was a car full of college dudes I hadn’t seen, one of them was just starting at me. lol. Like dude, you’re with your friends why you staring at another dude by himself who is leaving? ahahaha. So apparently something about me interested him. I’m just not sure how or why. I guess he needed a leader maybe? ahaha.

As i was leaving I did feel a slight sense of my inner strength and power. I was also noticing how I seem to be introverted but also that’s maybe my strong suit. I think that detachment from wanting the outside approval or fulfillment is one of the keys.

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Day 11: 4:30 LOTS, 1:30 CFW

8 hours of sleep. Now I’m tired. Gotta get consistent with at least 8 hours, I think.

Saw a few attractive women today. There did seem to be some slight interest in me. I wasn’t feeling very confident. Wasn’t feeling very attractive or grounded. Probably due to feeling a bit tired today. But it doesn’t seem to matter what I think as far as me being attractive to the ladies. When I feel like I’m not looking my best it doesn’t seem to matter, if they like me they like me. I guess I used to, up until now, had a logistics issue. It’s hasn’t been the most natural situations for me to open them. Maybe there is no natural right situation though, I dunno.

CFW seems to be hitting what I need during this phase. I just also want to be hitting DRLD. I also came up with an idea to run Primal again, but just add True Sell module into it. So I could integrate that aspect since I don’t actually do sales yet.

I think it’s funny when I think back to me getting started with the Letting Go practice. My uncle who is a road rager, probably has cancer and other deteriorating health issues, is highly opinionated. He said to me one time that I need to let go. So I took it to heart. Yet this guy gets to be right about everyone else and yet remains blind to his own life and the results of his lack of accountability. It’s everyone else that needs to do what I say. Yet nobody else is responsible for the conditions of his life, yet to him they are. lol. But he lets his HS kid do whatever he wants. He married a lazy woman, and she and his kid sleep a lot. She he calls them lazy. But he’s not taking charge of his life, it’s their fault of course. Just blows my mind.

I’m gonna do my workout now. Feeling tired. Took a second scoop of pre-workout. Gotta knock this thing out and maybe get to bed early, or at least another full night of sleep. Just gotta close the door so the cat doesn’t interrupt.

Evenings

When I woke up today it felt like I was going to have an ankle situation. My right ankle felt like it was going to be painful. But it went away. I have been wearing light ankle supports today just in case. I used to wear them for work, maybe I’ll start doing that again. Sunday is that long day, and I worked straight through, no break. I had been taking an hour break at the halfway mark.

CFW hasn’t been too healing thus far. I think it’s the best alpha title for me besides Primal. I’m more of a feel good, chill vibe guy rather than being a serious, intimidating person. CFW matches my natural vibe pretty good.

When I was on regular Chosen last time. I didn’t really like all the attention from people. I guess if anything I want people to discover themselves, and realize it’s not in the other. What you’re looking for, is you, kind of thing. I definitely feel like I’m in a much better place to truly appreciate CFW, then when I first ran it. I’ve also done the entire Chosen line since then. DRR Gold was looking attractive, but since I didn’t want to buy it yet, CFW was brought to mind, and yea it’s great. Ahahaha. Having a love fest for CFW. Now I’m more excited about spending more time with my stack than I am about switching any titles. Gratitude scripting is probably hitting harder than the first time around.

End of Nights

The attention grabber effects from CFW are kicking in. Obviously it doesn’t hit everybody, but you know when it hits. It’s like they do see me as Chosen I guess. That kind of attention doesn’t go to my head. I just find it entertaining more than anything. I’m not an attention seeker so when I get it, I kinda just start laughing. Because from my perspective there’s nothing special happening. I’m just a normal person like anybody else.

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Day 12: No Listening

8 hours of sleep. Seems to be my max sleep time lately.

I’m thinking about possibly making a CFW custom. I’d be willing to give it a year. I could add some wealth modules and touch on that area that I’ve neglected. True Sell and a few wealth modules.

Afternoons

I’m noticing what I’d say is a gentle clean up in my mental landscape. CFW is surprising me after only 3 loops, and microloops at that.

Evenings

I got a little taste of optimism about the future. CFW is a winner.

Now it seems a little in my feelings. So now some slight healing, resolution.

Nights

Got a little hungry last night. I’m hungry again tonight. It’s lower than it had been. Also I’m not feeling super strict about it. I could eat something if I want, but won’t go overboard if I do.

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Day 13: 5 mins Alchemist Singularity

Woke up after about four hours of sleep. I’ve been up for about an hour. Hopefully I get a few more hours of sleep at some point today.

Afternoons

Got a very short nap in. I’m gonna go for the workout today. I’ve only done walking and mobility on Wednesday for the last 2 weeks.

Kind of thinking I gotta custom CFW. Stick with it for a year. I just really want a few choice modules on board. Definitely a nudge towards wealth, success, achievement, action taking.

Originally I wanted to custom LB/LOTS, but with CFW it’s a bit redundant. I just don’t have anywhere else to put these custom modules, I’m not sure how long I want to stick with LOTS. I think the modules would take better to the engine of CFW. LB/LOTS custom was about maximizing the relaxation and being in the now slight spiritual nudge. But I’ve got Alchemist Singularity, for 6 cycles I’m thinking. It just seems like a good time to get a start on some success, and increasing my wealth/money which seems to need to happen sooner or later.

But Genesis might be covering what I’m after already, after some CFW time in the bag. If either Genesis or CFW had some physical shifting, that would be the choice for me. So it’s one title, and I’d really want to spend a year with it. I’ll mock up a first draft of a CFW custom soon.

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Day 14: No listening

8hr of sleep in.

Afternoons

Got the CFW custom first draft done. It’s a little more expensive because I’d have to buy about 7 new modules. But it is something that I plan to run for a year. So I’m in no rush to get it made. So it could be a few cycles out yet. That’ll give me more time to assess and experience CFW.

Nights

Feeling pretty good tonight. I’m sure I had some lower feelings earlier, but it would be a lot of effort to scan through my day to remember it. I was just feeling I guess satisfied. Like I am just happy to be. I’m free from the story, mostly, but also could see some story about how can I live like this? I mean I love to just be, but don’t I need to make money and pay bills? lol. I was also in the space of yea I love women, but I don’t feel the need to find a relationship. There’s also some seeing other people and their struggles, and just kind of not attaching myself to that. Yea, I wish I had the answers but I’ve always kind of took on others “junk”, to a fault. So some seeing and experiencing beyond that it seems.

Yep. Seems to be a taste of that beyond desire kind of thing. The indescribable. there was some joy of being. I’d say almost a peace now. Though, physically it would be so nice to go to sleep. I could use some catch up on that. But I gotta go to work shortly.

End of Nights

I was driving home from work and I realized the healing title thing seems to be happening. Where I get like what I call a little higher experience. Then I get some feelings come up later. Nothing major. If I had to guess it’s just that wishing I had some real connections. It’s been so long. Basically since I been out of high school I haven’t had any what I’d call real friends. I had some great work friends at times. But I still haven’t “found my people” so to speak. I have a few favorite people thanks to livestreaming. But they live across the country and I’m not a guy with extra money to travel yet.

I have been doing Ho’opono’pono, lately at work. Like say those thoughts and feelings about other people, and them not being happy or their health, or just like things that don’t seem to be in my control- I just let that come up and just say the Ho’opono’pono mantra.

I also see that it would be nice to find “my person.” even though that may not be a thing. I mean just that woman who is my partner, and it’s a fun, fulfilling, harmonious relationship. I’ve always thought there was a thing, but not so sure in practice. They like to do all this testing, and starting drama, and that’s if they like you!

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Day 15: 5 mins Legacy of the Spartan, 2 mins Chosen From Within

6 hours of sleep. Stayed up til about 7 am, woke up at 1pm. Not planned.

Feeling hungry to start the day.

Feels like my energy got cleaned up a bit too. Like some of that sex energy was able to rise to the heart into love. Was just allowing it and being curious if it would also rise up to the crown or something. Seems like some transmutation maybe I dunno.

Seems like any awakenings for me come down to awakening through the sex energy. But it also seems maybe that’s the most basic energy so it makes sense. It’s the creative force maybe.

Nights

Feeling like I would like to get some sleep. But based on how it has gone, it’s too early to go to sleep. I gotta finish out the workout. Not feeling motivated but I’m sure I can do it.

Day 16: No listening

Maybe got 6 hours of sleep last night. Not feeling particularly motivated. But I’m gonna workout now and that’ll basically be my day besides work tonight.

Evenings

I gotta get a new phone, a new pc. So those to me are money things. I gotta tap into abundance, yet I’m not sure I’m normal job suitable anymore. So that’s on the back of my mind. Other than that I’m starting to feel just good at times. Not euphoric, just like a general good, and it’s nice.

I didn’t get to the workout last night. Also taking a couple days off keto. But I think I hit like 85% of my diet workout plan this last 3 weeks. Last week I took 3 days off keto. Physically still looking good. I’m looking more trim, but I can also see it could take some patience if I really wanted to get some ripped muscle aesthetic going on. I just feel like I look good in normal clothes. But I like to wear tank tops and so would like better looking arms. My calves are probably my best feature. I haven’t been focused on staying at my lowest waist measurement but we’re still there. I definitely could add some size to my glutes too.

End of Nights

On my way to work. 3 days in a row I did not hit my main workouts. I feel like this month didn’t goes as great as I planned. So another 4 week block where I attempt to hit 6 workouts a week again. I may have to mental trick myself. Well, I can do one set of the exercises even on those days I don’t feel up to the double sets. I didn’t do that tonight, I think it would’ve worked. Maybe I can knock out one set after work.

Felt a little fatigued at work for the first time. Looking at my workout block, I’m at week 7. So I’ll go for 6 week blocks, with the 7th week being a deload week, or easy week.

Day 17: 5 mins Alchemist Singularity

5 hours of sleep. I don’t feel tired or exhausted at least. Definitely way less sleep this week.

Evenings

Earlier I had some of that feeling like my energy was cleared up again.

While at work I was thinking that CFW has been really light on the healing. I mean as far as any of those feelings coming up. I will consider a CFW/LOTS custom again. Since I plan to use them both for probably a year, and definitely will if I make a custom.

I do need to toss New Wealth Experience into the mix.

Now that I’m home from work and winding down, feeling a little lonely. lol. It’s kind of funny though. Get to experience these heightened states and tap into the sense of all possibility. Then other times you get to still be in a body have a human experience. I found that there are other people who are lonely. Yet they might spend all their time working and have like zero time for anything else. Then maybe they’ll still try to do networking because they want to meet people. Just seems like lots of people are in the same kind of thing, just going after it in different ways. But also I do find that generally when I’m at work it’s just time for me, since I work alone. I just focus on the work and don’t get caught up in the feelings and thoughts so much.

I’m feeling like a nap, though it’s so late of course I will probably be up all night as usual.

The thing with the people who spend all their time working, it seems like they’re the ones who a couple times a year are going to these other countries and beaches on like a week long vacation.

When I stopped working after putting up with the people for too long, I couldn’t do it anymore. Needed that nervous system reset. I started just going for drives just because. Out in the country seeing lakes and the wide open spaces. It was nice. These days I guess work kind of keeps me just tired enough to not want to do that. I’d rather stay home and rest. I also remember driving back into the city with that feeling of possibility. So it stands to reason that maybe just taking those long no planned destination drives is good for me.

Nights

I thought I was just feeling frisky when I got home from work. I haven’t been releasing lately in terms of you know. Just had no urge to. So I’m laying down unwinding. Then the energy shifted from being that frisky energy into the energy in the base of the spine. So there was more movement with that just awhile ago. I can’t say if it was uncoiling more or what. But that’s a maybe. It did seem to be traveling up, just at a pleasurable pace I’d say. Now I just feel a bit cleared up again. So whether it’s transmutation or the other thing or they’re the same thing, I dunno. I’m hoping for a good night of sleep though, feel like I should be able to get one.

After I typed that I went to the restroom real quick and sat back down. Now I feel like a very pleasant sensation at the top of my head. Feeling clear and just generally kind of good.

Day 18: No listening

Stayed up all night again. 5 hours of sleep. I’m only up because I think I had a nightmare I woke up from maybe. Gotta go to the restroom. And set my alarm because I gotta give somebody a ride to their appt.

Had some of those anxieties/fears wash through last night. Not at all anything major. Still moving those last remnants out. Also do have that background sense of optimism and know I’ll get through whatever.

I also seem to know that it’s more internal than needing to be worried about anything external.

Afternoons

Yesterday I had some slight sensations, today I’m thinking it was some sort of energy clearing in the channels in that area or something. I didn’t mention it just made a mental note. It’s one of those things where I’m still considering the other person, before I talk. Especially with people who I know their habits, it’s like no lol, it’s not worth the response I’ll most likely get. But from my side it’s not a big deal at all. The more I face myself the more I see I still am like everybody else, avoiding facing myself. But then I do.

So today, I’m having these kind of sensations in my feet, and like a subtle nice almost pleasurable sensation that I’m easily in touch with in my body. But I wouldn’t really talk about that with someone, I’ve had the thing where I know it’s more of an energetic/spiritual thing. And they end up diagnosing me. Oh you’ve got this or this, lol. It’s never been any of that. So to me based on whatever’s been going on is that it’s just more increased energy flow, and probably blockages being cleared. Even possibly like nerves being “cleared” so to speak, or coming back online I dunno. I’ve had back pain over the years and chiropractic adjustments, but lately haven’t felt tweaked or anything.

Feeling a little stiff today. I gotta get a good workout in and get back to the routine. I was not able to get back to sleep so I’m up for the day and might as well work out.

A few years back right before I had my first uncoiling of the energies at the base of the spine…I don’t think it was uncoiling, just woke up and had that clearing process which was a rough ride. Kind of the fire hose not of the energy just the shadow content of the psyche coming through.

So right before that I was in meditation and I saw this pure white light. I was in a completely dark room. I had to open my eyes to check. It wasn’t in the “physical.” So any like if I mentioned that to someone they’d come up with something like oh that’s cluster migraines, lol. But one of the guys I’m thinking of, the typical mansplainer guy, knows everything even about things he has no experience in. He’s never livestreamed but he could tell you what you need to do to be successful, lol. So now that guy he has one of those debilitating conditions that only gets worse. So he’s in a situation where he says he’s going to off himself at the point where his body gets too bad. I kinda feel bad for the guy of course, but he is also the always right (of course), negative kind of guy,

So this time around I see that I’ve dropped a lot of those outside influences that did nothing but cause me anxiety and fear. Even stuff like “spiritual warfare.” That tripped me up too, contributed to fear and not a good experience working through this stuff. The people who talk about it, at least the ones I know just have latched onto that belief in it, but have no first hand experience, they’re still on the programming. As I was and am still working through, we all are on some levels. I can only go with my experience through it, and for me it’s my own fear and my own shadow causing all the negative experience that I go through, it’s really just having taken on that faulty programming.

Nights

I was going to work out but I ended up getting like a 90 minute nap. Then it was dinner time. And now I’m feeling like more sleep. Haven’t worked out yet. I’m kind of iffy on it because with any energy activations, I think the rest is more important than a work out. Especially since I haven’t been getting that 8 hours for a week. It’s been like 5 hours average I’d say.

End of Nights

No workout at all today. Calling it an early night. I need a social media break, but yet it’s not easy pulling myself away from my livestreams. That’s been my source of “connection.” So I’d rather do that then just sit with myself and whatever’s coming up, which is what’s most important. The stuff coming up is what’s in the way of me truly connecting with others and myself. I guess I don’t have words for it besides just junk of the psyche.

I do a meditation after dinner. I was getting the typical releasing tremors. The shaking in the body. It was hips, but today seemed to be getting deeper into the core and torso areas. Which has not been typical for me. It’s just breaking up and releasing those tensions, not on purpose. Seems to be a side effect of getting fully relaxed and just being. The physical releases aren’t an every time thing, just during phases I guess. Say when the body is ready to give way to more expansion and freedom I guess.