ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#575

Day 13: 5 mins Alchemist Singularity

Woke up after about four hours of sleep. I’ve been up for about an hour. Hopefully I get a few more hours of sleep at some point today.

Afternoons

Got a very short nap in. I’m gonna go for the workout today. I’ve only done walking and mobility on Wednesday for the last 2 weeks.

Kind of thinking I gotta custom CFW. Stick with it for a year. I just really want a few choice modules on board. Definitely a nudge towards wealth, success, achievement, action taking.

Originally I wanted to custom LB/LOTS, but with CFW it’s a bit redundant. I just don’t have anywhere else to put these custom modules, I’m not sure how long I want to stick with LOTS. I think the modules would take better to the engine of CFW. LB/LOTS custom was about maximizing the relaxation and being in the now slight spiritual nudge. But I’ve got Alchemist Singularity, for 6 cycles I’m thinking. It just seems like a good time to get a start on some success, and increasing my wealth/money which seems to need to happen sooner or later.

But Genesis might be covering what I’m after already, after some CFW time in the bag. If either Genesis or CFW had some physical shifting, that would be the choice for me. So it’s one title, and I’d really want to spend a year with it. I’ll mock up a first draft of a CFW custom soon.

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#576

Day 14: No listening

8hr of sleep in.

Afternoons

Got the CFW custom first draft done. It’s a little more expensive because I’d have to buy about 7 new modules. But it is something that I plan to run for a year. So I’m in no rush to get it made. So it could be a few cycles out yet. That’ll give me more time to assess and experience CFW.

Nights

Feeling pretty good tonight. I’m sure I had some lower feelings earlier, but it would be a lot of effort to scan through my day to remember it. I was just feeling I guess satisfied. Like I am just happy to be. I’m free from the story, mostly, but also could see some story about how can I live like this? I mean I love to just be, but don’t I need to make money and pay bills? lol. I was also in the space of yea I love women, but I don’t feel the need to find a relationship. There’s also some seeing other people and their struggles, and just kind of not attaching myself to that. Yea, I wish I had the answers but I’ve always kind of took on others “junk”, to a fault. So some seeing and experiencing beyond that it seems.

Yep. Seems to be a taste of that beyond desire kind of thing. The indescribable. there was some joy of being. I’d say almost a peace now. Though, physically it would be so nice to go to sleep. I could use some catch up on that. But I gotta go to work shortly.

End of Nights

I was driving home from work and I realized the healing title thing seems to be happening. Where I get like what I call a little higher experience. Then I get some feelings come up later. Nothing major. If I had to guess it’s just that wishing I had some real connections. It’s been so long. Basically since I been out of high school I haven’t had any what I’d call real friends. I had some great work friends at times. But I still haven’t “found my people” so to speak. I have a few favorite people thanks to livestreaming. But they live across the country and I’m not a guy with extra money to travel yet.

I have been doing Ho’opono’pono, lately at work. Like say those thoughts and feelings about other people, and them not being happy or their health, or just like things that don’t seem to be in my control- I just let that come up and just say the Ho’opono’pono mantra.

I also see that it would be nice to find “my person.” even though that may not be a thing. I mean just that woman who is my partner, and it’s a fun, fulfilling, harmonious relationship. I’ve always thought there was a thing, but not so sure in practice. They like to do all this testing, and starting drama, and that’s if they like you!

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#577

Day 15: 5 mins Legacy of the Spartan, 2 mins Chosen From Within

6 hours of sleep. Stayed up til about 7 am, woke up at 1pm. Not planned.

Feeling hungry to start the day.

Feels like my energy got cleaned up a bit too. Like some of that sex energy was able to rise to the heart into love. Was just allowing it and being curious if it would also rise up to the crown or something. Seems like some transmutation maybe I dunno.

Seems like any awakenings for me come down to awakening through the sex energy. But it also seems maybe that’s the most basic energy so it makes sense. It’s the creative force maybe.

Nights

Feeling like I would like to get some sleep. But based on how it has gone, it’s too early to go to sleep. I gotta finish out the workout. Not feeling motivated but I’m sure I can do it.

#578

Day 16: No listening

Maybe got 6 hours of sleep last night. Not feeling particularly motivated. But I’m gonna workout now and that’ll basically be my day besides work tonight.

Evenings

I gotta get a new phone, a new pc. So those to me are money things. I gotta tap into abundance, yet I’m not sure I’m normal job suitable anymore. So that’s on the back of my mind. Other than that I’m starting to feel just good at times. Not euphoric, just like a general good, and it’s nice.

I didn’t get to the workout last night. Also taking a couple days off keto. But I think I hit like 85% of my diet workout plan this last 3 weeks. Last week I took 3 days off keto. Physically still looking good. I’m looking more trim, but I can also see it could take some patience if I really wanted to get some ripped muscle aesthetic going on. I just feel like I look good in normal clothes. But I like to wear tank tops and so would like better looking arms. My calves are probably my best feature. I haven’t been focused on staying at my lowest waist measurement but we’re still there. I definitely could add some size to my glutes too.

End of Nights

On my way to work. 3 days in a row I did not hit my main workouts. I feel like this month didn’t goes as great as I planned. So another 4 week block where I attempt to hit 6 workouts a week again. I may have to mental trick myself. Well, I can do one set of the exercises even on those days I don’t feel up to the double sets. I didn’t do that tonight, I think it would’ve worked. Maybe I can knock out one set after work.

Felt a little fatigued at work for the first time. Looking at my workout block, I’m at week 7. So I’ll go for 6 week blocks, with the 7th week being a deload week, or easy week.

#579

Day 17: 5 mins Alchemist Singularity

5 hours of sleep. I don’t feel tired or exhausted at least. Definitely way less sleep this week.

Evenings

Earlier I had some of that feeling like my energy was cleared up again.

While at work I was thinking that CFW has been really light on the healing. I mean as far as any of those feelings coming up. I will consider a CFW/LOTS custom again. Since I plan to use them both for probably a year, and definitely will if I make a custom.

I do need to toss New Wealth Experience into the mix.

Now that I’m home from work and winding down, feeling a little lonely. lol. It’s kind of funny though. Get to experience these heightened states and tap into the sense of all possibility. Then other times you get to still be in a body have a human experience. I found that there are other people who are lonely. Yet they might spend all their time working and have like zero time for anything else. Then maybe they’ll still try to do networking because they want to meet people. Just seems like lots of people are in the same kind of thing, just going after it in different ways. But also I do find that generally when I’m at work it’s just time for me, since I work alone. I just focus on the work and don’t get caught up in the feelings and thoughts so much.

I’m feeling like a nap, though it’s so late of course I will probably be up all night as usual.

The thing with the people who spend all their time working, it seems like they’re the ones who a couple times a year are going to these other countries and beaches on like a week long vacation.

When I stopped working after putting up with the people for too long, I couldn’t do it anymore. Needed that nervous system reset. I started just going for drives just because. Out in the country seeing lakes and the wide open spaces. It was nice. These days I guess work kind of keeps me just tired enough to not want to do that. I’d rather stay home and rest. I also remember driving back into the city with that feeling of possibility. So it stands to reason that maybe just taking those long no planned destination drives is good for me.

Nights

I thought I was just feeling frisky when I got home from work. I haven’t been releasing lately in terms of you know. Just had no urge to. So I’m laying down unwinding. Then the energy shifted from being that frisky energy into the energy in the base of the spine. So there was more movement with that just awhile ago. I can’t say if it was uncoiling more or what. But that’s a maybe. It did seem to be traveling up, just at a pleasurable pace I’d say. Now I just feel a bit cleared up again. So whether it’s transmutation or the other thing or they’re the same thing, I dunno. I’m hoping for a good night of sleep though, feel like I should be able to get one.

After I typed that I went to the restroom real quick and sat back down. Now I feel like a very pleasant sensation at the top of my head. Feeling clear and just generally kind of good.

#580

Day 18: No listening

Stayed up all night again. 5 hours of sleep. I’m only up because I think I had a nightmare I woke up from maybe. Gotta go to the restroom. And set my alarm because I gotta give somebody a ride to their appt.

Had some of those anxieties/fears wash through last night. Not at all anything major. Still moving those last remnants out. Also do have that background sense of optimism and know I’ll get through whatever.

I also seem to know that it’s more internal than needing to be worried about anything external.

Afternoons

Yesterday I had some slight sensations, today I’m thinking it was some sort of energy clearing in the channels in that area or something. I didn’t mention it just made a mental note. It’s one of those things where I’m still considering the other person, before I talk. Especially with people who I know their habits, it’s like no lol, it’s not worth the response I’ll most likely get. But from my side it’s not a big deal at all. The more I face myself the more I see I still am like everybody else, avoiding facing myself. But then I do.

So today, I’m having these kind of sensations in my feet, and like a subtle nice almost pleasurable sensation that I’m easily in touch with in my body. But I wouldn’t really talk about that with someone, I’ve had the thing where I know it’s more of an energetic/spiritual thing. And they end up diagnosing me. Oh you’ve got this or this, lol. It’s never been any of that. So to me based on whatever’s been going on is that it’s just more increased energy flow, and probably blockages being cleared. Even possibly like nerves being “cleared” so to speak, or coming back online I dunno. I’ve had back pain over the years and chiropractic adjustments, but lately haven’t felt tweaked or anything.

Feeling a little stiff today. I gotta get a good workout in and get back to the routine. I was not able to get back to sleep so I’m up for the day and might as well work out.

A few years back right before I had my first uncoiling of the energies at the base of the spine…I don’t think it was uncoiling, just woke up and had that clearing process which was a rough ride. Kind of the fire hose not of the energy just the shadow content of the psyche coming through.

So right before that I was in meditation and I saw this pure white light. I was in a completely dark room. I had to open my eyes to check. It wasn’t in the “physical.” So any like if I mentioned that to someone they’d come up with something like oh that’s cluster migraines, lol. But one of the guys I’m thinking of, the typical mansplainer guy, knows everything even about things he has no experience in. He’s never livestreamed but he could tell you what you need to do to be successful, lol. So now that guy he has one of those debilitating conditions that only gets worse. So he’s in a situation where he says he’s going to off himself at the point where his body gets too bad. I kinda feel bad for the guy of course, but he is also the always right (of course), negative kind of guy,

So this time around I see that I’ve dropped a lot of those outside influences that did nothing but cause me anxiety and fear. Even stuff like “spiritual warfare.” That tripped me up too, contributed to fear and not a good experience working through this stuff. The people who talk about it, at least the ones I know just have latched onto that belief in it, but have no first hand experience, they’re still on the programming. As I was and am still working through, we all are on some levels. I can only go with my experience through it, and for me it’s my own fear and my own shadow causing all the negative experience that I go through, it’s really just having taken on that faulty programming.

Nights

I was going to work out but I ended up getting like a 90 minute nap. Then it was dinner time. And now I’m feeling like more sleep. Haven’t worked out yet. I’m kind of iffy on it because with any energy activations, I think the rest is more important than a work out. Especially since I haven’t been getting that 8 hours for a week. It’s been like 5 hours average I’d say.

End of Nights

No workout at all today. Calling it an early night. I need a social media break, but yet it’s not easy pulling myself away from my livestreams. That’s been my source of “connection.” So I’d rather do that then just sit with myself and whatever’s coming up, which is what’s most important. The stuff coming up is what’s in the way of me truly connecting with others and myself. I guess I don’t have words for it besides just junk of the psyche.

I do a meditation after dinner. I was getting the typical releasing tremors. The shaking in the body. It was hips, but today seemed to be getting deeper into the core and torso areas. Which has not been typical for me. It’s just breaking up and releasing those tensions, not on purpose. Seems to be a side effect of getting fully relaxed and just being. The physical releases aren’t an every time thing, just during phases I guess. Say when the body is ready to give way to more expansion and freedom I guess.

#581

Day 19: 5 mins LOTS, 2:30 CFW

9 hours of sleep.

Afternoons

Body looks good. I’m still not ripped with 6 pack abs. But I’m basically as trim as I’ve gotten. Just on the cusp I’d say. I’ll stick with LOTS.

So far I haven’t dipped into any heavy recon this cycle. After my little activation lately again, I was just dealing with some fears. This time around I don’t think it’s enough to send me off into one of those healing crises where the psyche can’t handle it. So this fear came up and I decided to face it and sit with it. I basically just did David Hawkins Letting Go style, and repeat the Ho’opono’pono mantra. So more just allowing that fear to be there as it is, and allowing, saying the mantra. I did dump some of it. But it seems to be a thing where if I get triggered then I have to go right back into practice to really set myself free of it.

I am thinking of those modules to clean up the thought space a bit. So I’ll check into those. Safety Net would be one. I think there’s a synergy: Semper Praesens that’s about being in the now, that I’m thinking would be helpful.

So now it’s getting back to the nuts and bolts. I mean, as far as building a custom. I won’t add healing modules, but sort of that direction.

It seems to be some of that fear that needs to be neutralized, so as to neutralize any unwanted manifestations. I think Semper Praesens and Safety Net are two essentials in any new custom for me.

I may want to consider adding Mind’s Eye as a second core to CFW. Mind’s Eye does appear to have a lot of what I’m looking for as far as cleaning up the mental space.

Evenings

It’s workout time. Feeling a little groggy. Like I slept too much, or I’d want to sleep more. Haven’t balanced out the sleep situation from this last week yet. Slight headache. It was the wise choice to take another night off. But now I gotta get back to the workouts.

I did mock up a new custom idea. I only have to buy 4 new modules. So that will cut my costs and allow me to get this thing in my stack maybe in the next cycle.

Here it is:

CFW core
Mind’s Eye core
Safety Net
Divine Self Image
Inner Voice
Lifeblood Fable
Synergy: Venus Unveiled
Love Without Attachment
Yggdrasil
Negative Energy Transmutation
Eventide
Fortune’s Favorite
The Flow
Formless Clarity
Synergy: Semper Praesens
Synergy: Winner Overdrive

I did leave out any seduction and true sell modules. Those will have to wait. I think this is the package most essential for me to reach my next level.

Nights

Walking/mobility workout currently in progress. I have been getting a little distracted with this latest energy activation or whatever it’s called. The energy can be almost orgasmic but it’s not with a physical release component. On that note it probably is a good idea to keep up my workout routine, to keep things moving.

End of Nights

After the workout I had the sense that there was nothing to it. That 4 days of only walking and mobility paid off. Seems like it was the perfect amount to get the nice bounce back.

Work was a bit of a grind. Kinda had a headache after a nap. But if I didn’t have the headache I’d probably be praising how good i felt. My mind is pretty still, no worries, none of that. So without the headache and little tiredness yet, I’d be feeling just the way I want my normal to be.

So maybe I’ll just slow it down. I’ll just stick with the stack as is until I get to 4 cycles of CFW. My idea is to just take it out to a year, but of course since it’s a healing title, I better check back in before I go for a custom.

#582

Day 20: No listening

Got a solid night of sleep. Like 9 hours. Still feeling groggy. Like I’m on the verge of a headache. So I probably got too much sleep after that stretch of not enough sleep. But I do feel like I just wanna be sleeping some more.

Evenings

I stayed in bed all day. Not feeling the best. Yea I really feel like I should be sleeping.

I really was looking forward to the leg day man.

I’m on kind of a social media break. It just doesn’t interest me as much, the pull isn’t there so much today. But that’s probably also due to me not feeling my best.

Downed some pre-workout, only 150mg caffeine. Almost went for two scoops, but it probably is a 2 scoop day if there ever was one. I think I’ll be able to get a workout in.

Oh, I did notice last night at work that I was sweating more than I usually do. So it’s possible that my body was fighting something off, a little detox maybe.

What do I want to do? I want to be studying and learning. I’ve got a whole backlog of books and materials. I would like to be in the mode of going through them.

I think people, AI now probably, have gotten good at making books that you just want to buy. Like I see these books and I’m like oh I want to buy that book, but usually don’t get around to reading them. Like oh another new sales book, but I still haven’t gone through the stuff I have. Then I want to read something spiritual maybe too. lol.

I keep a short list of books I go through every year. Maybe decision overwhelm going on when it comes to studying.

End of Nights

I did walking and mobility. Felt good. I think I’ve gone too long with time off for the leg workouts. Feeling a little stiff today. One of my hip flexors was feeling sore. I tend to actually get sore from too much time off.

I have noticed some moments of increased confidence since starting CFW. Really haven’t seen many attractive women this cycle, so I can’t say if it’s affected things there yet.

#583

Day 21: 5 mins Alchemist Singularity

Another full night of sleep. 3 days in a row where I got 8 or more hours.

Afternoons

Feel like I want to be sleeping more. Probably still catching up from all those days of not much sleep.

My legs feel springy and fresh today. So maybe an extra day off was good.

Evenings

I broke a sweat earlier and I was just doing normal things. So it could be some slight detox going on yet. Or maybe that metabolism is kicked in to gear. This time it’s not like a sense of feeling hot internally, just more in the body. I dunno how to explain it.

No headaches today. Just that groggy feeling, getting back on track with sleep.

Stack Cycle Count:Cycle 3 LOTS, Cycle 2 Alchemist Singularity, Cycle 1 Chosen From Within

I think I found the trick. I take Saturday and Sunday off Keto. Haven’t been super hungry this week. I work on Sunday so it’s not like I eat all day anyway. It was mostly just a big dinner, and maybe that wasn’t enough. Hunger is slightly picking up today, but no big deal. It’s still not like it was. I think with me going on cycle four of LOTS, and noticing how my body responds to things, 2 days off keto will actually be a good thing. I get results and will feel a little better not being super hungry all week.

Nights

Well I seem to have gotten distracted with the energy again. I may miss another workout. I gotta get to work.

#584

Day 1 of 5: No listening

Another full night of sleep. I feel like I’d rather be sleeping. I feel like I want more sleep again. I saw some new data that says your brain is influenced by your sleep two weeks ago. So I guess I’m still in catch up mode.

I feel like I had enough energy to just workout. I planned to do a grocery run first. Then I started watching livestreams or replays. For my connection fix. Now I’m procrastinating the workout. No grocery run.

I kind of have that cozy feeling and would rather lay in bed and fall asleep, but that good feeling I guess. Like feels good to stay in bed and would be so nice to go back to sleep kind of thing, lol.

Evenings

Downed the pre-workout. I’m thinking I may have my first conscious duality situation. I was just thinking about the kind of joke-y sterotype. When a man is single he’s ripped, he’s got money. But when he gets into a relationship he gets a bit chubby. So I was thinking maybe I feel like I’m more in a relationship, or maybe too much focus on that. So my edge needs to be sharpened again. It might have dropped a notch since trading Spartan for CFW. But at the same time my physique won’t get chubby thanks to LOTS and sticking to keto 5 days a week.

I just saw a vid of a chick who had to send her P.E. teacher a video of her doing pushups, during the lockdown era. She sent a video of her doing wall pushups. She says she got kicked from the class. lol!

P.E. teacher don’t know. Try getting to 100 reps of wall pushups, slow and controlled it’s deceptively challenging! I’m still doing wall pushups and haven’t hit a 100. I’m on the beginner progression program, due to elbow pains, and shoulder pain. The other day I had a realization it might be because during lock down era I was doing plyometric pushups. I had never done a routine of regular pushups before that. So I hadn’t built the proper base and now I’m still making up for it.

Nights

The plan is back on to customize CFW. The addition of Synergy: Winner Overdrive, plus all the other modules is worth it. Now that it seems my edge has gone down slightly since stopping Spartan Apex.

Plus my custom modules will be about me having a good reputation and feeling good about myself. One of the reasons I stopped working fulltime and being around people is, there were people who just would say bad things about me. Yet I kept showing up because I’m not that. I also didn’t fight with them though. People who I felt were kind of friends would hear what they said but didn’t believe it. That was a crazy time. The “bad” people would only see “bad” in me. The good ones, would only see “good” in me. Like the saying goes, none of it had anything to do with me!

So I think that’s still kind of my trauma about being around people. Even though lately I haven’t had any of that bad stuff in quite some time. But I also don’t spend any time being with the same people. It’s more I’m just shopping and not staying around anyone for any amount of time.

I guess the thing is, that I just think it’s crazy that a person can be so hated and the people doing the hating don’t know a thing about this person. Same goes for the good I guess, they can think someone is so good, yet they don’t know them either lol. We’re all a mix. Just generally most people are attached to whatever their identity is. So in a sense, they are what they think they are.

If I saw that whatever they’re judging about me isn’t even me, it wouldn’t bother me. So there’s still some identification there on my part. I mean intellectually I do, but maybe not always at that level of Truth that frees one from such things.

End of Nights

Still haven’t done the workout. I probably need to hit it though. I have time tonight before bed. Still seems to be overcoming some sort of freeze response that I’m calling procrastination.

I just happen to see that Inner Circle thread got new posts. I skimmed through the thread, and I think Inner Circle seems to be the perfect fit for what I’m after. It’s a situation where I have no slots to spare.

So of course, I’m looking at just customizing it with CFW. CFW/Inner Circle custom. I think that hits what I’m going after with my modules anyway. Definitely covers what I’m after as far as results.

Definitely Inner Circle will be my next title I try out. It’s just a matter of when. I’ve got only maybe 5-6 cycles all time with CFW. I feel like it was the right piece and it was. But with this latest “clue” on Inner Circle, that’s definitely one I need to finally try. It’s funny, using clue in parenthesis makes me feel some kind of way, duue to a past experience, There’ve been many times where throughout my life it’s kinda been like people think they’re cops, in that everything I say can and will be used against me. lol. That’s why eventide is going in my next custom again. Definitely a strong case to just go ahead with a CFW/IC custom.

I have broken a sweat again this evening. It definitely seems to be that metabolism thing running hot again. I guess I did walk and mobility but that was a few hours ago.

#585

Day 2 of 5: No listening

Working through some fears today. Dreams reflected that.

Got the workout in yesterday. Felt like there was nothing to it again. So that should bode well to get over any workout procrastination.

As far as the fear stuff coming up, it’s just progress. They say you get more challenges when or when you’re about to level up. So I go with that.

7 hours of sleep. Had company.

Evenings

This evening I had a sense of positive energy. Like anything is possible, but a grounded kind of sense. Optimism scripting in CFW must have kicked in. Kind of a life is great vibe.

Pre-workout and workout time now.

Nights

Kind of realizing the value in social media breaks, especially for a non-creator. I would say I was going through some slight healing lately, and just seeing that much of the social media is just not a productive influence.

I’ve known of many people who apparently just completely gave up social media. Or maybe they’re on to other ones and I just lost track of them. I’ve stuck to the main ones, and don’t get riled up by the political stuff. It does make it tricky though with people I really liked and called friends, they get caught up in the political stuff and so instead of sticking with their friends, that kind of goes out the window. They’re on the latest knee jerk stuff.

But I did try to message somebody on FB, and apparently they just completely gave up social media altogether. I find that hard to believe though. Maybe just deleted the FB stuff I guess. Not sure. But IC will be much welcome in finding “my” people.

#586

Day 3 of 5: No Listening

I am really looking forward to having Love Without Attachment module in the mix again. I love women and I love loving them. It’s just that well you need that non-attachment or that’s a dangerous game. A woman can just decide that she’s breaking up with you and leaving you. Even if you’ve got a family together. I always thought it was just the men, because they pick the guys who make them single moms, generally, and too many women to count have a narcissist ex. Being a good guy, knowing from experience doesn’t pay. But I can’t be a bad guy. I can be an unnattached guy, and that’s really the secret weapon. So for me I’m gonna keep on loving and enjoying that, but also zero attachment. I think the non attachment is what attracts things to you is true. They say stuff like when you have no attachment to things, all is yours. Or some variation.

End of Nights

I got a free thing today. I have points on one of the food apps. I save these things until they almost expire. I had a lot one one of them that I accidentally let expire last time. So I had to use these. I also had a buy one get one free coupon on a sandwich. So that’s the main thing I was going for. I got a couple free items on my points. Then I did the BOGO coupon, and it showed the price for one but my total came out to 0.00. It’s been like a week since that coupon was sent out, so if there was a glitch I would have thought they’d fixed it. But nope. I think if no humans or software caught it, the customers weren’t going to complain. I almost did but then I don’t want to ruin it for anyone else. I was fully prepared to pay because it was BOGO, not get 2 free!

I had to mention that because I’ve kind of been in a free things drought. No major luck or things of that nature, until now.

I think my tough to deal with family member had a moment of consciousness. Again, I forgot all about the past and didn’t strategize or remember to just keep my mouth shut. So I saw a news story that we had some street flooding because of so much rain. So I mentioned that, the area I saw the photos of. The family member immediately comes back with well it always floods in that area. Well, it hasn’t this year. It’s not like a daily thing. But I wasn’t phased. I didn’t make an argument because that’s not my wiring. I didn’t even realize it was yet again one of those situations where an attempt was made to sink my ship. And I think due to that reaction from me of being oblivious, the family member seemed to realize what they were doing. Then they made sure to agree with me. All I said was it must have rained a lot, and there was flooding, so maybe we did get that 1 inch forecasted. Well I think we got more like 2.5 inches. But they kind of stopped themselves and then just decided to repeat what I opened with. Yea it must have rained a lot. lol. I think me not realizing what they were doing and it having no effect on me at all, kind of woke them up from their sleep for a moment.

#587

Day 4 of 5: No listening

A full night’s sleep again. I was laying in bed because when I get those full nights, I just want to sleep more. But I was laying in bed and had some conditioning come up. I think it’s that kind of thing from being a kid and parents waking you up in the morning. Like they don’t want you to stay in bed. Now for me that’s not a big deal because I work nights. So i have the whole day free. So I did get up, I’m thinking about just getting the work out in early to expend some of that type of have to get up type of energy.

Evenings

Workout not done yet. I’m feeling tired. But my body seems to be recovered nicely after my work weekend. Just still feeling like I wanna be sleep maxing out my sleep.

Have some fear moving through. So it seems we’re still working through it. I suspect that’s what the workout procrastination and feeling like I couldn’t stay in bed today was about.

Pre-workout didn’t help today. But I got the walking and mobility done. Now just to finish out the main workout.

The only catch when the healing is at work, is that I don’t want to be around people. Not moody or anything, but seems best to just let it run its course. Then other times I’ll get that life is good kick.

I’m rethinking the custom CFW. Maybe I’ll do four cycles with it and test out store Inner Circle. I don’t want to custom LOTS and Inner Circle, because even though I work out and that’s pretty much my main thing, I don’t want to meet super fitness people. I train solo and plan to continue that way, since my routines are maybe not standard gym programs.

End of Nights

Got the workout in. I’m aiming to hit 6 workouts a week for the next 4 weeks.

It’s been a bit of a healing day. Some fears and anxieties coming up. Not major, but enough for me to respect the CFW, AS, LOTS stack.

I’m thinking CFW is really a full package and I don’t really need to custom it. I think wanting the custom is just wanting everything at once. I just need to give it time, as usual. Especially since I’m still working through some things.

#588

Day 5 of 5: No listening

Another full night of sleep. Felt like I got some deep sleep.

After 4 cycles of LOTS I just might try out that new Wanted if that should drop. It’s kind of backwards in that I want LOTS for the summer to look my best. But it makes sense that you’d want to do Wanted in the summer months.

Physical shifting component is important to me. So I’m feeling locked in my stack. My options would be Wanted or even Ascension I suppose. Ascension would probably be most beneficial in terms of it’s overall goals, in combination with CFW.

I did feel in the last day or two that I probably could use some more maturing. Just due to the bad conditioning growing up. Ascension/CFW combo would be a winner. Maturing in terms of my inner, emotional world. I can see at times some of those old wounds still influence things, and I’ve done a lot of emotional work in my life already.

So I might trade LOTS for Ascension after another cycle. I’d probably keep Ascension to microloops for awhile.

Extra hungry today. I guess I didn’t eat enough on Sunday.

#589

Day 1: 5:30 Alchemist Singularity

Stayed up a little later than usual. Still got a full night of sleep.

Feel like my sexual energy has dropped off again. Maybe it’s one of those things where it has cycles too.

Also, pre-workout hasn’t been giving me the extra kick lately. I did get a new one because of a good deal. I still haven’t found my favorite. I had a couple but they got discontinued.

Possibly seem to be in an energetic valley. Not major, just not the same levels I had experienced in recent months. I had some peak moments of all this energy. So there could be some background healing and blocks being worked through. Also CFW has healing going on, so maybe that could be it. The energy is now going to the healing stuff.

I did miss my foundation training work out last night.

Evenings:

Doing my workout right now, I see that there’s no resistance to working out. I’m getting it done earlier than usual today. It also seems that since my sex energy seems to be low, I’m using whatever energy to focus on the workout. That must be LOTS influence. I think I use social media as a form of connection and to see the pretty ladies, since I haven’t seen many in my daily life. So that’s a positive.

I think the finishing touch for CFW would be the addition of Synergy: Winner Overdrive, to help keep up that ambition and drive, during those healing down times.

Nights

Yea I think the positive side effect of being in some healing, is that I also want to stay off social media.

Once again I am going to mock up a CFW/LOTS custom. I still want to go that route.

That would give me a slot down the road to test out true sell, or something else.

End of Nights

Ready for some sleep tonight. A little earlier than usual. But I’ll take it.

I feel like the healing must be getting in there. So we’ll just ride it out and maybe tomorrow we’ll get to stand on a peak and take in the new view. It’s not major stuff. Just feeling like a little lul. Still a little low on the energy, probably getting some rubber band action. We’re on the pull back.

I guess I’d describe it as maybe some slight loneliness. Not like previous stuff. Just kind of on the edge there. But there’s still a sense of inner strength I guess. That I just have to focus on what’s in my control and things are gonna be alright.

It’s still a tough call for me on custom or not. I think ideally maybe DRG, Dragon Reborn Gold is the ideal candidate for me. Since I want to stick with CFW long term. I think DRG does a lot of that and more. It’s just that it’s a four stager. I was hoping to get some true sell or ascension or primal. But maybe drg covers enough of that as well. I know I the fourth stage looks interesting since it has fun in it I hear.

I was also considering doing a CFW/CWON custom. But I remember there’s a CWON update coming. Like some stuff based on the Tao. I’ve always been a fan of the Tao. I think it does go against what most people are programmed for though. So I think I shied away from sharing Tao memes. It seems like generally people are primed for the conflict and the fight. And to me Tao is more about the harmony, and almost kind of a passive approach. I could be wrong but that’s just how I interpreted it. But to me it’s the most powerful approach because it’s in tune I guess with the ways of nature or life itself. So I still have some things to consider.

I’m also on at least 30 days no fap, no release. I didn’t plan it or decide it. Just don’t have the urge so I’m just going with it. Possibly AS unlocked that from my year of Khan Black, I don’t know. Curious to see how my next run of KB is gonna be.

#590

Day 2: No Listening

I guess CFW/LOTS is my best custom option. Those are the two titles I’m sticking with.

I really want to do DRG but maybe I’ll try to go for that year with CFW instead.

Afternoons

Yea I think I’m still in some light healing. Anxiety around others is up slightly. CFW is digging through things it seems. Kind of back in hunker down mode. Focusing on what’s in my control. Like working out and doing whatever practices I like, as far as letting go, meditation.

Seems that the focus has shifted more inner again, which makes sense- Chosen From Within.

#591

Day 3: 5:30 LOTS, 3 min CFW

I’m definitely feeling some positive sensations today. Got my loops in.

Afternoons

Yea CFW seems to be stirring things up a little. I notice it when I’m mindlessly scrolling on social media. Stuff is coming up to conscious awareness and it’s making me want to cut down social media for sure.

So for me it’s just like random, what I could call “negative” thoughts that pop up. Then I get uncomfortable. So for me it’s maybe like old trauma and the self-protector wanting to challenge I guess. But I’m not identified with it, but I see it come up and get uncomfortable. I guess that’s why they say awareness is so powerful. You just remain aware and awareness dissolves it when you don’t react to it or identify with those comings and goings and happenings. It’s just not always easy, and so that’s what gets me back on the solitude kick. But I know it’s worthwhile and a necessity to dissolve this “shadow” material, because that’s what’s in the way of the life I want.

That’s also what I got me to put together the LBFH/DRLD custom. The quieting of the mind just seems so useful and powerful for me. But at the same time resolving those reasons for the thoughts in the first place is also a necessity. I’m really after that one two punch. Eliminating the root causes of the negative thoughts and also just quieting of the mind in general. So that’s why I’m moving forward on the CFW/LOTS custom, just to round it out.

I do like the multi-stagers but I know they can be heavy duty. I think CFW is the best base healing title for me to work with for now. I consider the multi-stagers to be more advanced and would still like to make more headway before diving into those multi-stage healing titles again.

On the workout front: I am finally ready to move to three rounds of the basic foundation training workout. Last night’s workout was just easy.

The wall pushups are still surprisingly challenging. I’m not getting sore but I feel like my elbow tendons are still conditioning. But hitting all my workouts again is progress. I had been missing one workout a week the past few weeks.

Evenings

I’m actually enjoying this healing. Stuff is coming to surface, and my usual distractions are losing their appeal. So it’s kind of making me more productive. Focusing on working out and doing inner work, and more interested in reading.

My plan is to custom CFW/LOTS, and then run AOH around the holidays and microloop the custom. Not sure what title I’ll be on by then, AS, or KB, or Alchemist.

Nights

Walking and mobility only today. My body is saying it’s recovery day. I forget that I’m probably running a calorie deficit. So that can mean the workouts aren’t as great. I can hit like 4 good workouts a week. Today is definitely a rest day. I will probably have to run my numbers for calories and may have to tweak things if I want to be hitting 6 full workouts a week.

Or maybe just do one set of what I missed today, tomorrow and also do the foundation training tomorrow. I’ll be off keto sat/sun yet and will have extra fuel.

So that’s a good excuse to hop on the cardio machine for a few mins and that’s it tonight.

I think I figured out the secret to seemingly working slower at my job and yet getting done earlier. I’ve been getting done in my earliest times yet this last week. I think it’s that I’m working deliberately, and more efficiently due to being in more of a flow state. Plus my workouts help me to be more conditioned so that even though I may be working at a higher output, it’s not perceived as such.

#592

Day 4: No listening

I woke up at 12:30, the next day like 11:30, today like 10 am. But today I went back to sleep until like 12:30, that’s my new wake up time. It’ll keep me from staying up all night, that’s the plan.

Well it was like 12:27 I woke up and I was like half asleep, and I swear I heard this voice in my head that said wake up now or get up now. It wasn’t urgent, I didn’t sense that it was one of those warning things you hear about. So I went back to sleep for like another 15 mins. It wasn’t like me when I might consciously talk to myself. You know like you say it to yourself.

So possibly that subconscious voice. I’ve had a few times over the years where I’d be like half awake, just waking up and say if I was sleep talking or something, I would hear what my actual body said, but my thoughts weren’t thinking that, like when you’re normally conscious. So maybe a sign that my alignment is getting better. I did set that intention this week that I’m waking up at 12:30 no matter what.

I gotta say I’m not feeling too enthusiastic about this workout today. Really feel like sleeping in. I’m gonna have to hope that pre-workout gives me that kick. I got a few samples, I like to pick up those sample offers. So maybe I’ll try a new one today. My daily, hasn’t been anything special even though it has a bit more caffeine. I’ll probably go back to the one I was using before when it goes on sale again. A little less caffeine but it seems to hit the spot.

So my plan is to microloop test the new Beast Unleashed that I bought. Just when I get this CFW/LOTS custom built. Then switch it out for AOH for those holiday months.

Nights

Walking and mobility felt good today. But still feels like a rest day. So it just gives me something to work for. I’ll come back and see if I can hit 6 workouts next week. lol. I’ll just hit the quick foundation training routine and next week I’ll go for the full 3 rounds on that. I think 5 days a week of workouts would work too. It’s just my goal to build up my physical capacity to do 6 weekly.

#593

Day 5: 6 mins Alchemist Singularity

Was up slightly later last night, not by much. Saturday night tends to be a later night for me for some reason.

Today I woke up from a dream. It was right at that moment where consciousness switched from dream to waking. I think I was on the phone and right as I woke up I think part of me sensed I had woken. So I answered the question anyway. More identified because I was kind of in the in between space. Kind of waiting for an answer and to finish out the scene. lol.

End of Nights

Work was fine. I’m thinking I might try adding weight tomorrow to my exercises. If I get sore then I just go back to the basic workouts the other two days if I need to. That way I know I will be progressing. try the weighted workouts then light days if I need to. That way I can build strength a little quicker and keep things interesting.

My typing has gotten sloppy this week. I keep hitting some button by the space bar that brings up all these weird windows. So I have to make myself keep the hovering hands instead of resting the bottoms of my palms, so I don’t hit whatever buttons I do when I type fast. I don’t think I ever got to like 300 wpm. I always thought that was amazing that I had classmates who were typing 300 wpm. Now I see some people seem to type 300 wpm with their thumbs! I can’t do that either because I have man thumbs and I just can’t type that fast on a phone without errors.

I did start using one of those finger grip trainers last week. So I think my nervous system needs some adjusting. I’m not use to it yet. Not sore but also not use to the new stimulus.

#594

Day 6: No listening

I feel like I’m more in touch with that playful, fun side today.

lol. One of my friends on fb is always sharing memes about how hard it is and all this kind of stuff. It’s supposed to be that positive type stuff but it’s about identifying with the difficulties, so I put her on mute every 30 days. I like to give it 30 days, but that’s her sort of reality and identity. So back to mute she goes, lol.

Evenings

My luck seems to be increasing lately. Just little things. But still a positive change.

I’ve seen a few pretty ladies lately. I’m also able to objectively see that my confidence isn’t as high as back when I was on new Primal. But generally my solidity with people in general seems to be going up. I guess I seem to have taken a dip on confidence with the ladies, but it’s kind of expected when dealing with some healing. So I’d expect it to level out or bounce back with time. Certainly when I get back to Primal.

I’m thinking I’ll go with New Wealth Experience module instead of The Worthiness Recalibration, in my custom. Because I think NWE will be gentler than TWR. Especially in a CFW custom.

Actually on a brief search and scan, I think The Worthiness Recalibration really complements CFW well, I feel like that’s the one to go with. I was just concerned with not wanting to add in any healing modules in a CFW custom, after the LBFH/DRLD custom I made, which proved to be a title I had to keep to 3 mins max. And ended up running for 3-4 cycles before I felt like a break.

There’s some wanting friends coming up again. Lighter than before. But I can always check am I on task now? I’d say no. I haven’t gotten my workout in today. A little tired. I woke up at 10am. Though I was going to be up after 6 hours of sleep but was able to get back to sleep for the full night’s worth.

End of Nights

I thought I was going to be ready to go today, as far as working out. Not really. I think I’ll make no changes to my workout yet.