Day 17: 6 mins Alchemist Singularity
Was up later, til 5am. Woke up at 10 but went back to sleep until 1. Will stay up now.
My lats are extra sore now. That 2 days later soreness hit. I should be able to do a workout though.
Lol. My left lat wants to almost spasm sometimes when I move. So I overdid the rowing machine. It was my first time and I just did a quick sprint until I got a good burn in the quads.
Afternoons
I almost forgot about my daily routine of 10 mins biking to start the day.
Got distracted by the phone and social media.
CFW/AS combo seems to be really working on stuff in the background yet. It’s not too much, but I’m looking forward to that breakthrough, or at least when I start hitting those good feelings and experiences again. I’m actually looking forward to the CFW/Spartan custom and running at microloops for that first cycle.
Lats are still sore and again, a day where I just want to rest. About time to workout so I guess I’ll be doing the bike ride as part of the normal workout.
Haven’t even eaten yet. Haven’t had a huge appetite today. Which I’ll take.
Insecurities seem to be coming up when I look at the social media videos. So that’s a big reason I’m kind of averse to it, yet still do it out of habit and distraction. Working out is good because when it seems like I can’t get into that letting go mode and facing the feelings, I’m still dispelling the energy and doing something good for myself. Definitely still seems to be harder hitting healing so far. It hasn’t been DRLD/LBFH custom level where I want to take a break though.
My mindset is just to keep at it because I’ll need to cut back for the holiday months to end the year. So I might as well go for it while I can.
Evenings
Just wanna lay in bed and fall asleep. I actually took a short nap yesterday before work. I was surprised since I was still hitting that 9 hours of sleep. Today, 8 but I’m feeling it. That is something I forgot about. When I’m on a stack it seems like my sleep needs increase, and that seems to have always been the case for me. But at the same time I’ve always been like a 9 hour sleep guy. At least certainly in my adult years.
Even though CFW seems a bit more challenging this time around, I think I’ll benefit more because it’s going deeper. So the pay off is worth any discomfort. Change isn’t comfortable, not always anyway. Especially when it involves being different and breaking old patterns and habits.
I was starting to feel open to possibility in my first cycle of CFW. This is the second. Might be light titles but stacked makes it more heavy. LOTS, CFW, and AS. AS with CFW will really work out those issues and probably supercharge CFW’s work.
When I get the CFW/Spartan custom I think my fortitude will just increase. Maybe that’s what’s keeping me going. My Spartan time, it’s been out of the stack for two cycles now.
I’m thinking I need to start practicing the Eufeeling technique. Since my drive to do the letting go work seems low lately. Here’s the whole technique. For 2 minutes you focus your awareness on your mind, you just observe your mind, watch your thoughts. Don’t try and do anything just watch. Then for 2 minutes you watch your physical body sensations. Don’t do anything, just observe. Then For 2 minutes you watch your feelings. Again, just watch. Then at some point a good feeling will come up. You just observe this good feeling for however long you like. If you stick with it you will find that it’s easy and you can feel good anytime anywhere.
For some times I was able to do this. The idea was, you’re looking for a quiet mind. So when you find that good feeling, you just stick with the feeling. A quiet mind and a nice feeling is what this Syd Banks guy talked about in his audios/videos. Had some profound experiences just doing that, not even practicing the letting go stuff. It was just tricky to keep at it when the rest of the world seemed diametrically opposed to such a thing, lol. But nowadays, I’m kind of in hermit mode again, and my letting go drive seems to be dwindling.
It could also be considered a take on Neville Goddard’s idea of live in the end. That’s basically what it is. You’re already feeling good, not bothered or really attached to anything. That’s the magical place they say. Could even call it the Now, perhaps.
Nights
As far as attractiveness, it seemed like Spartan and LOTS combo was actually a winner. Haven’t noticed much on that front lately. I know it’s in there but I think healing is at the forefront with CFW.
I thought I was going to be more excited about GLM, and I’d have to debate myself on GLM or Spartan Apex in the custom. But Spartan wins. I’d like to do a GLM and DRLD combo but that’s not this year. For now I really gotta have the Spartan and LOTS in my stack.
End of Nights
No workout today. But now I have a better motivation to hit my workouts from here on out. I know I have to just take that work mindset to my workout. Finish it out in the late afternoon before dinner. My triceps are sore tonight, not sure how that happened. Working out later might be why I sometimes stay up late too. And I’d rather wake up a bit earlier in the day if I could.
Last 4 days of this cycle. I’m just gonna have to start dialing in with my priorities again. That’s where Spartan will come into play also. Been feeling a bit hot again today, so the metabolism must be high yet.
My custom is looking like it may not happen to start next cycle. Money is tight again. I think I lost a bit of my discipline with spending. Back a few months ago when I had my intense experience, I felt like I was free of that overspending habit. I still go for the good deals, but maybe not everything is essential. Even though Spartan wasn’t too spectacular I think it still adds the right touch. I’ll be happy to have it back in the stack. I don’t want to give up on LOTS after only 4 cycles. I think it’s a longer term title for me, as are all of them.
Feel like I’m in a slight rut with things. That’s the healing influence. But I still feel optimistic that I can pull it together and stay focused and put my energies to good use. I actually feel good about the workouts, now it’s just a matter of discipline and knowing that I have to manage my time better.
I do think my sleep schedule would be better off if I were able to sleep earlier and wake up earlier. I’ve always worked that later shift most of my work life but as the years go by, I think the day shift schedule might suit me better. For that to happen I think I’ll have to find a way to make my income some other way than the late night cleaning gig. But for now it is what it is.
The only thing is I want the time freedom yet. If I worked a full time job my time would be just working and working out. Not sure I want to go back to that. I’m probably more suited to something where I’m just my own boss nowadays. Like how I have been for the past two years.
