ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#581

Day 19: 5 mins LOTS, 2:30 CFW

9 hours of sleep.

Afternoons

Body looks good. I’m still not ripped with 6 pack abs. But I’m basically as trim as I’ve gotten. Just on the cusp I’d say. I’ll stick with LOTS.

So far I haven’t dipped into any heavy recon this cycle. After my little activation lately again, I was just dealing with some fears. This time around I don’t think it’s enough to send me off into one of those healing crises where the psyche can’t handle it. So this fear came up and I decided to face it and sit with it. I basically just did David Hawkins Letting Go style, and repeat the Ho’opono’pono mantra. So more just allowing that fear to be there as it is, and allowing, saying the mantra. I did dump some of it. But it seems to be a thing where if I get triggered then I have to go right back into practice to really set myself free of it.

I am thinking of those modules to clean up the thought space a bit. So I’ll check into those. Safety Net would be one. I think there’s a synergy: Semper Praesens that’s about being in the now, that I’m thinking would be helpful.

So now it’s getting back to the nuts and bolts. I mean, as far as building a custom. I won’t add healing modules, but sort of that direction.

It seems to be some of that fear that needs to be neutralized, so as to neutralize any unwanted manifestations. I think Semper Praesens and Safety Net are two essentials in any new custom for me.

I may want to consider adding Mind’s Eye as a second core to CFW. Mind’s Eye does appear to have a lot of what I’m looking for as far as cleaning up the mental space.

Evenings

It’s workout time. Feeling a little groggy. Like I slept too much, or I’d want to sleep more. Haven’t balanced out the sleep situation from this last week yet. Slight headache. It was the wise choice to take another night off. But now I gotta get back to the workouts.

I did mock up a new custom idea. I only have to buy 4 new modules. So that will cut my costs and allow me to get this thing in my stack maybe in the next cycle.

Here it is:

CFW core
Mind’s Eye core
Safety Net
Divine Self Image
Inner Voice
Lifeblood Fable
Synergy: Venus Unveiled
Love Without Attachment
Yggdrasil
Negative Energy Transmutation
Eventide
Fortune’s Favorite
The Flow
Formless Clarity
Synergy: Semper Praesens
Synergy: Winner Overdrive

I did leave out any seduction and true sell modules. Those will have to wait. I think this is the package most essential for me to reach my next level.

Nights

Walking/mobility workout currently in progress. I have been getting a little distracted with this latest energy activation or whatever it’s called. The energy can be almost orgasmic but it’s not with a physical release component. On that note it probably is a good idea to keep up my workout routine, to keep things moving.

End of Nights

After the workout I had the sense that there was nothing to it. That 4 days of only walking and mobility paid off. Seems like it was the perfect amount to get the nice bounce back.

Work was a bit of a grind. Kinda had a headache after a nap. But if I didn’t have the headache I’d probably be praising how good i felt. My mind is pretty still, no worries, none of that. So without the headache and little tiredness yet, I’d be feeling just the way I want my normal to be.

So maybe I’ll just slow it down. I’ll just stick with the stack as is until I get to 4 cycles of CFW. My idea is to just take it out to a year, but of course since it’s a healing title, I better check back in before I go for a custom.

#582

Day 20: No listening

Got a solid night of sleep. Like 9 hours. Still feeling groggy. Like I’m on the verge of a headache. So I probably got too much sleep after that stretch of not enough sleep. But I do feel like I just wanna be sleeping some more.

Evenings

I stayed in bed all day. Not feeling the best. Yea I really feel like I should be sleeping.

I really was looking forward to the leg day man.

I’m on kind of a social media break. It just doesn’t interest me as much, the pull isn’t there so much today. But that’s probably also due to me not feeling my best.

Downed some pre-workout, only 150mg caffeine. Almost went for two scoops, but it probably is a 2 scoop day if there ever was one. I think I’ll be able to get a workout in.

Oh, I did notice last night at work that I was sweating more than I usually do. So it’s possible that my body was fighting something off, a little detox maybe.

What do I want to do? I want to be studying and learning. I’ve got a whole backlog of books and materials. I would like to be in the mode of going through them.

I think people, AI now probably, have gotten good at making books that you just want to buy. Like I see these books and I’m like oh I want to buy that book, but usually don’t get around to reading them. Like oh another new sales book, but I still haven’t gone through the stuff I have. Then I want to read something spiritual maybe too. lol.

I keep a short list of books I go through every year. Maybe decision overwhelm going on when it comes to studying.

End of Nights

I did walking and mobility. Felt good. I think I’ve gone too long with time off for the leg workouts. Feeling a little stiff today. One of my hip flexors was feeling sore. I tend to actually get sore from too much time off.

I have noticed some moments of increased confidence since starting CFW. Really haven’t seen many attractive women this cycle, so I can’t say if it’s affected things there yet.

#583

Day 21: 5 mins Alchemist Singularity

Another full night of sleep. 3 days in a row where I got 8 or more hours.

Afternoons

Feel like I want to be sleeping more. Probably still catching up from all those days of not much sleep.

My legs feel springy and fresh today. So maybe an extra day off was good.

Evenings

I broke a sweat earlier and I was just doing normal things. So it could be some slight detox going on yet. Or maybe that metabolism is kicked in to gear. This time it’s not like a sense of feeling hot internally, just more in the body. I dunno how to explain it.

No headaches today. Just that groggy feeling, getting back on track with sleep.

Stack Cycle Count:Cycle 3 LOTS, Cycle 2 Alchemist Singularity, Cycle 1 Chosen From Within

I think I found the trick. I take Saturday and Sunday off Keto. Haven’t been super hungry this week. I work on Sunday so it’s not like I eat all day anyway. It was mostly just a big dinner, and maybe that wasn’t enough. Hunger is slightly picking up today, but no big deal. It’s still not like it was. I think with me going on cycle four of LOTS, and noticing how my body responds to things, 2 days off keto will actually be a good thing. I get results and will feel a little better not being super hungry all week.

Nights

Well I seem to have gotten distracted with the energy again. I may miss another workout. I gotta get to work.

#584

Day 1 of 5: No listening

Another full night of sleep. I feel like I’d rather be sleeping. I feel like I want more sleep again. I saw some new data that says your brain is influenced by your sleep two weeks ago. So I guess I’m still in catch up mode.

I feel like I had enough energy to just workout. I planned to do a grocery run first. Then I started watching livestreams or replays. For my connection fix. Now I’m procrastinating the workout. No grocery run.

I kind of have that cozy feeling and would rather lay in bed and fall asleep, but that good feeling I guess. Like feels good to stay in bed and would be so nice to go back to sleep kind of thing, lol.

Evenings

Downed the pre-workout. I’m thinking I may have my first conscious duality situation. I was just thinking about the kind of joke-y sterotype. When a man is single he’s ripped, he’s got money. But when he gets into a relationship he gets a bit chubby. So I was thinking maybe I feel like I’m more in a relationship, or maybe too much focus on that. So my edge needs to be sharpened again. It might have dropped a notch since trading Spartan for CFW. But at the same time my physique won’t get chubby thanks to LOTS and sticking to keto 5 days a week.

I just saw a vid of a chick who had to send her P.E. teacher a video of her doing pushups, during the lockdown era. She sent a video of her doing wall pushups. She says she got kicked from the class. lol!

P.E. teacher don’t know. Try getting to 100 reps of wall pushups, slow and controlled it’s deceptively challenging! I’m still doing wall pushups and haven’t hit a 100. I’m on the beginner progression program, due to elbow pains, and shoulder pain. The other day I had a realization it might be because during lock down era I was doing plyometric pushups. I had never done a routine of regular pushups before that. So I hadn’t built the proper base and now I’m still making up for it.

Nights

The plan is back on to customize CFW. The addition of Synergy: Winner Overdrive, plus all the other modules is worth it. Now that it seems my edge has gone down slightly since stopping Spartan Apex.

Plus my custom modules will be about me having a good reputation and feeling good about myself. One of the reasons I stopped working fulltime and being around people is, there were people who just would say bad things about me. Yet I kept showing up because I’m not that. I also didn’t fight with them though. People who I felt were kind of friends would hear what they said but didn’t believe it. That was a crazy time. The “bad” people would only see “bad” in me. The good ones, would only see “good” in me. Like the saying goes, none of it had anything to do with me!

So I think that’s still kind of my trauma about being around people. Even though lately I haven’t had any of that bad stuff in quite some time. But I also don’t spend any time being with the same people. It’s more I’m just shopping and not staying around anyone for any amount of time.

I guess the thing is, that I just think it’s crazy that a person can be so hated and the people doing the hating don’t know a thing about this person. Same goes for the good I guess, they can think someone is so good, yet they don’t know them either lol. We’re all a mix. Just generally most people are attached to whatever their identity is. So in a sense, they are what they think they are.

If I saw that whatever they’re judging about me isn’t even me, it wouldn’t bother me. So there’s still some identification there on my part. I mean intellectually I do, but maybe not always at that level of Truth that frees one from such things.

End of Nights

Still haven’t done the workout. I probably need to hit it though. I have time tonight before bed. Still seems to be overcoming some sort of freeze response that I’m calling procrastination.

I just happen to see that Inner Circle thread got new posts. I skimmed through the thread, and I think Inner Circle seems to be the perfect fit for what I’m after. It’s a situation where I have no slots to spare.

So of course, I’m looking at just customizing it with CFW. CFW/Inner Circle custom. I think that hits what I’m going after with my modules anyway. Definitely covers what I’m after as far as results.

Definitely Inner Circle will be my next title I try out. It’s just a matter of when. I’ve got only maybe 5-6 cycles all time with CFW. I feel like it was the right piece and it was. But with this latest “clue” on Inner Circle, that’s definitely one I need to finally try. It’s funny, using clue in parenthesis makes me feel some kind of way, duue to a past experience, There’ve been many times where throughout my life it’s kinda been like people think they’re cops, in that everything I say can and will be used against me. lol. That’s why eventide is going in my next custom again. Definitely a strong case to just go ahead with a CFW/IC custom.

I have broken a sweat again this evening. It definitely seems to be that metabolism thing running hot again. I guess I did walk and mobility but that was a few hours ago.

#585

Day 2 of 5: No listening

Working through some fears today. Dreams reflected that.

Got the workout in yesterday. Felt like there was nothing to it again. So that should bode well to get over any workout procrastination.

As far as the fear stuff coming up, it’s just progress. They say you get more challenges when or when you’re about to level up. So I go with that.

7 hours of sleep. Had company.

Evenings

This evening I had a sense of positive energy. Like anything is possible, but a grounded kind of sense. Optimism scripting in CFW must have kicked in. Kind of a life is great vibe.

Pre-workout and workout time now.

Nights

Kind of realizing the value in social media breaks, especially for a non-creator. I would say I was going through some slight healing lately, and just seeing that much of the social media is just not a productive influence.

I’ve known of many people who apparently just completely gave up social media. Or maybe they’re on to other ones and I just lost track of them. I’ve stuck to the main ones, and don’t get riled up by the political stuff. It does make it tricky though with people I really liked and called friends, they get caught up in the political stuff and so instead of sticking with their friends, that kind of goes out the window. They’re on the latest knee jerk stuff.

But I did try to message somebody on FB, and apparently they just completely gave up social media altogether. I find that hard to believe though. Maybe just deleted the FB stuff I guess. Not sure. But IC will be much welcome in finding “my” people.

#586

Day 3 of 5: No Listening

I am really looking forward to having Love Without Attachment module in the mix again. I love women and I love loving them. It’s just that well you need that non-attachment or that’s a dangerous game. A woman can just decide that she’s breaking up with you and leaving you. Even if you’ve got a family together. I always thought it was just the men, because they pick the guys who make them single moms, generally, and too many women to count have a narcissist ex. Being a good guy, knowing from experience doesn’t pay. But I can’t be a bad guy. I can be an unnattached guy, and that’s really the secret weapon. So for me I’m gonna keep on loving and enjoying that, but also zero attachment. I think the non attachment is what attracts things to you is true. They say stuff like when you have no attachment to things, all is yours. Or some variation.

End of Nights

I got a free thing today. I have points on one of the food apps. I save these things until they almost expire. I had a lot one one of them that I accidentally let expire last time. So I had to use these. I also had a buy one get one free coupon on a sandwich. So that’s the main thing I was going for. I got a couple free items on my points. Then I did the BOGO coupon, and it showed the price for one but my total came out to 0.00. It’s been like a week since that coupon was sent out, so if there was a glitch I would have thought they’d fixed it. But nope. I think if no humans or software caught it, the customers weren’t going to complain. I almost did but then I don’t want to ruin it for anyone else. I was fully prepared to pay because it was BOGO, not get 2 free!

I had to mention that because I’ve kind of been in a free things drought. No major luck or things of that nature, until now.

I think my tough to deal with family member had a moment of consciousness. Again, I forgot all about the past and didn’t strategize or remember to just keep my mouth shut. So I saw a news story that we had some street flooding because of so much rain. So I mentioned that, the area I saw the photos of. The family member immediately comes back with well it always floods in that area. Well, it hasn’t this year. It’s not like a daily thing. But I wasn’t phased. I didn’t make an argument because that’s not my wiring. I didn’t even realize it was yet again one of those situations where an attempt was made to sink my ship. And I think due to that reaction from me of being oblivious, the family member seemed to realize what they were doing. Then they made sure to agree with me. All I said was it must have rained a lot, and there was flooding, so maybe we did get that 1 inch forecasted. Well I think we got more like 2.5 inches. But they kind of stopped themselves and then just decided to repeat what I opened with. Yea it must have rained a lot. lol. I think me not realizing what they were doing and it having no effect on me at all, kind of woke them up from their sleep for a moment.

#587

Day 4 of 5: No listening

A full night’s sleep again. I was laying in bed because when I get those full nights, I just want to sleep more. But I was laying in bed and had some conditioning come up. I think it’s that kind of thing from being a kid and parents waking you up in the morning. Like they don’t want you to stay in bed. Now for me that’s not a big deal because I work nights. So i have the whole day free. So I did get up, I’m thinking about just getting the work out in early to expend some of that type of have to get up type of energy.

Evenings

Workout not done yet. I’m feeling tired. But my body seems to be recovered nicely after my work weekend. Just still feeling like I wanna be sleep maxing out my sleep.

Have some fear moving through. So it seems we’re still working through it. I suspect that’s what the workout procrastination and feeling like I couldn’t stay in bed today was about.

Pre-workout didn’t help today. But I got the walking and mobility done. Now just to finish out the main workout.

The only catch when the healing is at work, is that I don’t want to be around people. Not moody or anything, but seems best to just let it run its course. Then other times I’ll get that life is good kick.

I’m rethinking the custom CFW. Maybe I’ll do four cycles with it and test out store Inner Circle. I don’t want to custom LOTS and Inner Circle, because even though I work out and that’s pretty much my main thing, I don’t want to meet super fitness people. I train solo and plan to continue that way, since my routines are maybe not standard gym programs.

End of Nights

Got the workout in. I’m aiming to hit 6 workouts a week for the next 4 weeks.

It’s been a bit of a healing day. Some fears and anxieties coming up. Not major, but enough for me to respect the CFW, AS, LOTS stack.

I’m thinking CFW is really a full package and I don’t really need to custom it. I think wanting the custom is just wanting everything at once. I just need to give it time, as usual. Especially since I’m still working through some things.

#588

Day 5 of 5: No listening

Another full night of sleep. Felt like I got some deep sleep.

After 4 cycles of LOTS I just might try out that new Wanted if that should drop. It’s kind of backwards in that I want LOTS for the summer to look my best. But it makes sense that you’d want to do Wanted in the summer months.

Physical shifting component is important to me. So I’m feeling locked in my stack. My options would be Wanted or even Ascension I suppose. Ascension would probably be most beneficial in terms of it’s overall goals, in combination with CFW.

I did feel in the last day or two that I probably could use some more maturing. Just due to the bad conditioning growing up. Ascension/CFW combo would be a winner. Maturing in terms of my inner, emotional world. I can see at times some of those old wounds still influence things, and I’ve done a lot of emotional work in my life already.

So I might trade LOTS for Ascension after another cycle. I’d probably keep Ascension to microloops for awhile.

Extra hungry today. I guess I didn’t eat enough on Sunday.

#589

Day 1: 5:30 Alchemist Singularity

Stayed up a little later than usual. Still got a full night of sleep.

Feel like my sexual energy has dropped off again. Maybe it’s one of those things where it has cycles too.

Also, pre-workout hasn’t been giving me the extra kick lately. I did get a new one because of a good deal. I still haven’t found my favorite. I had a couple but they got discontinued.

Possibly seem to be in an energetic valley. Not major, just not the same levels I had experienced in recent months. I had some peak moments of all this energy. So there could be some background healing and blocks being worked through. Also CFW has healing going on, so maybe that could be it. The energy is now going to the healing stuff.

I did miss my foundation training work out last night.

Evenings:

Doing my workout right now, I see that there’s no resistance to working out. I’m getting it done earlier than usual today. It also seems that since my sex energy seems to be low, I’m using whatever energy to focus on the workout. That must be LOTS influence. I think I use social media as a form of connection and to see the pretty ladies, since I haven’t seen many in my daily life. So that’s a positive.

I think the finishing touch for CFW would be the addition of Synergy: Winner Overdrive, to help keep up that ambition and drive, during those healing down times.

Nights

Yea I think the positive side effect of being in some healing, is that I also want to stay off social media.

Once again I am going to mock up a CFW/LOTS custom. I still want to go that route.

That would give me a slot down the road to test out true sell, or something else.

End of Nights

Ready for some sleep tonight. A little earlier than usual. But I’ll take it.

I feel like the healing must be getting in there. So we’ll just ride it out and maybe tomorrow we’ll get to stand on a peak and take in the new view. It’s not major stuff. Just feeling like a little lul. Still a little low on the energy, probably getting some rubber band action. We’re on the pull back.

I guess I’d describe it as maybe some slight loneliness. Not like previous stuff. Just kind of on the edge there. But there’s still a sense of inner strength I guess. That I just have to focus on what’s in my control and things are gonna be alright.

It’s still a tough call for me on custom or not. I think ideally maybe DRG, Dragon Reborn Gold is the ideal candidate for me. Since I want to stick with CFW long term. I think DRG does a lot of that and more. It’s just that it’s a four stager. I was hoping to get some true sell or ascension or primal. But maybe drg covers enough of that as well. I know I the fourth stage looks interesting since it has fun in it I hear.

I was also considering doing a CFW/CWON custom. But I remember there’s a CWON update coming. Like some stuff based on the Tao. I’ve always been a fan of the Tao. I think it does go against what most people are programmed for though. So I think I shied away from sharing Tao memes. It seems like generally people are primed for the conflict and the fight. And to me Tao is more about the harmony, and almost kind of a passive approach. I could be wrong but that’s just how I interpreted it. But to me it’s the most powerful approach because it’s in tune I guess with the ways of nature or life itself. So I still have some things to consider.

I’m also on at least 30 days no fap, no release. I didn’t plan it or decide it. Just don’t have the urge so I’m just going with it. Possibly AS unlocked that from my year of Khan Black, I don’t know. Curious to see how my next run of KB is gonna be.

#590

Day 2: No Listening

I guess CFW/LOTS is my best custom option. Those are the two titles I’m sticking with.

I really want to do DRG but maybe I’ll try to go for that year with CFW instead.

Afternoons

Yea I think I’m still in some light healing. Anxiety around others is up slightly. CFW is digging through things it seems. Kind of back in hunker down mode. Focusing on what’s in my control. Like working out and doing whatever practices I like, as far as letting go, meditation.

Seems that the focus has shifted more inner again, which makes sense- Chosen From Within.

#591

Day 3: 5:30 LOTS, 3 min CFW

I’m definitely feeling some positive sensations today. Got my loops in.

Afternoons

Yea CFW seems to be stirring things up a little. I notice it when I’m mindlessly scrolling on social media. Stuff is coming up to conscious awareness and it’s making me want to cut down social media for sure.

So for me it’s just like random, what I could call “negative” thoughts that pop up. Then I get uncomfortable. So for me it’s maybe like old trauma and the self-protector wanting to challenge I guess. But I’m not identified with it, but I see it come up and get uncomfortable. I guess that’s why they say awareness is so powerful. You just remain aware and awareness dissolves it when you don’t react to it or identify with those comings and goings and happenings. It’s just not always easy, and so that’s what gets me back on the solitude kick. But I know it’s worthwhile and a necessity to dissolve this “shadow” material, because that’s what’s in the way of the life I want.

That’s also what I got me to put together the LBFH/DRLD custom. The quieting of the mind just seems so useful and powerful for me. But at the same time resolving those reasons for the thoughts in the first place is also a necessity. I’m really after that one two punch. Eliminating the root causes of the negative thoughts and also just quieting of the mind in general. So that’s why I’m moving forward on the CFW/LOTS custom, just to round it out.

I do like the multi-stagers but I know they can be heavy duty. I think CFW is the best base healing title for me to work with for now. I consider the multi-stagers to be more advanced and would still like to make more headway before diving into those multi-stage healing titles again.

On the workout front: I am finally ready to move to three rounds of the basic foundation training workout. Last night’s workout was just easy.

The wall pushups are still surprisingly challenging. I’m not getting sore but I feel like my elbow tendons are still conditioning. But hitting all my workouts again is progress. I had been missing one workout a week the past few weeks.

Evenings

I’m actually enjoying this healing. Stuff is coming to surface, and my usual distractions are losing their appeal. So it’s kind of making me more productive. Focusing on working out and doing inner work, and more interested in reading.

My plan is to custom CFW/LOTS, and then run AOH around the holidays and microloop the custom. Not sure what title I’ll be on by then, AS, or KB, or Alchemist.

Nights

Walking and mobility only today. My body is saying it’s recovery day. I forget that I’m probably running a calorie deficit. So that can mean the workouts aren’t as great. I can hit like 4 good workouts a week. Today is definitely a rest day. I will probably have to run my numbers for calories and may have to tweak things if I want to be hitting 6 full workouts a week.

Or maybe just do one set of what I missed today, tomorrow and also do the foundation training tomorrow. I’ll be off keto sat/sun yet and will have extra fuel.

So that’s a good excuse to hop on the cardio machine for a few mins and that’s it tonight.

I think I figured out the secret to seemingly working slower at my job and yet getting done earlier. I’ve been getting done in my earliest times yet this last week. I think it’s that I’m working deliberately, and more efficiently due to being in more of a flow state. Plus my workouts help me to be more conditioned so that even though I may be working at a higher output, it’s not perceived as such.

#592

Day 4: No listening

I woke up at 12:30, the next day like 11:30, today like 10 am. But today I went back to sleep until like 12:30, that’s my new wake up time. It’ll keep me from staying up all night, that’s the plan.

Well it was like 12:27 I woke up and I was like half asleep, and I swear I heard this voice in my head that said wake up now or get up now. It wasn’t urgent, I didn’t sense that it was one of those warning things you hear about. So I went back to sleep for like another 15 mins. It wasn’t like me when I might consciously talk to myself. You know like you say it to yourself.

So possibly that subconscious voice. I’ve had a few times over the years where I’d be like half awake, just waking up and say if I was sleep talking or something, I would hear what my actual body said, but my thoughts weren’t thinking that, like when you’re normally conscious. So maybe a sign that my alignment is getting better. I did set that intention this week that I’m waking up at 12:30 no matter what.

I gotta say I’m not feeling too enthusiastic about this workout today. Really feel like sleeping in. I’m gonna have to hope that pre-workout gives me that kick. I got a few samples, I like to pick up those sample offers. So maybe I’ll try a new one today. My daily, hasn’t been anything special even though it has a bit more caffeine. I’ll probably go back to the one I was using before when it goes on sale again. A little less caffeine but it seems to hit the spot.

So my plan is to microloop test the new Beast Unleashed that I bought. Just when I get this CFW/LOTS custom built. Then switch it out for AOH for those holiday months.

Nights

Walking and mobility felt good today. But still feels like a rest day. So it just gives me something to work for. I’ll come back and see if I can hit 6 workouts next week. lol. I’ll just hit the quick foundation training routine and next week I’ll go for the full 3 rounds on that. I think 5 days a week of workouts would work too. It’s just my goal to build up my physical capacity to do 6 weekly.

#593

Day 5: 6 mins Alchemist Singularity

Was up slightly later last night, not by much. Saturday night tends to be a later night for me for some reason.

Today I woke up from a dream. It was right at that moment where consciousness switched from dream to waking. I think I was on the phone and right as I woke up I think part of me sensed I had woken. So I answered the question anyway. More identified because I was kind of in the in between space. Kind of waiting for an answer and to finish out the scene. lol.

End of Nights

Work was fine. I’m thinking I might try adding weight tomorrow to my exercises. If I get sore then I just go back to the basic workouts the other two days if I need to. That way I know I will be progressing. try the weighted workouts then light days if I need to. That way I can build strength a little quicker and keep things interesting.

My typing has gotten sloppy this week. I keep hitting some button by the space bar that brings up all these weird windows. So I have to make myself keep the hovering hands instead of resting the bottoms of my palms, so I don’t hit whatever buttons I do when I type fast. I don’t think I ever got to like 300 wpm. I always thought that was amazing that I had classmates who were typing 300 wpm. Now I see some people seem to type 300 wpm with their thumbs! I can’t do that either because I have man thumbs and I just can’t type that fast on a phone without errors.

I did start using one of those finger grip trainers last week. So I think my nervous system needs some adjusting. I’m not use to it yet. Not sore but also not use to the new stimulus.

#594

Day 6: No listening

I feel like I’m more in touch with that playful, fun side today.

lol. One of my friends on fb is always sharing memes about how hard it is and all this kind of stuff. It’s supposed to be that positive type stuff but it’s about identifying with the difficulties, so I put her on mute every 30 days. I like to give it 30 days, but that’s her sort of reality and identity. So back to mute she goes, lol.

Evenings

My luck seems to be increasing lately. Just little things. But still a positive change.

I’ve seen a few pretty ladies lately. I’m also able to objectively see that my confidence isn’t as high as back when I was on new Primal. But generally my solidity with people in general seems to be going up. I guess I seem to have taken a dip on confidence with the ladies, but it’s kind of expected when dealing with some healing. So I’d expect it to level out or bounce back with time. Certainly when I get back to Primal.

I’m thinking I’ll go with New Wealth Experience module instead of The Worthiness Recalibration, in my custom. Because I think NWE will be gentler than TWR. Especially in a CFW custom.

Actually on a brief search and scan, I think The Worthiness Recalibration really complements CFW well, I feel like that’s the one to go with. I was just concerned with not wanting to add in any healing modules in a CFW custom, after the LBFH/DRLD custom I made, which proved to be a title I had to keep to 3 mins max. And ended up running for 3-4 cycles before I felt like a break.

There’s some wanting friends coming up again. Lighter than before. But I can always check am I on task now? I’d say no. I haven’t gotten my workout in today. A little tired. I woke up at 10am. Though I was going to be up after 6 hours of sleep but was able to get back to sleep for the full night’s worth.

End of Nights

I thought I was going to be ready to go today, as far as working out. Not really. I think I’ll make no changes to my workout yet.

#595

Day 7: 6 mins LOTS, 3:30 CFW

Yesterday I only did mobility and 10 mins of weight vest walking. I walk 10 mins with the weight vest then do mobility. Just didn’t have the energy for another 20 mins of walking and a full workout. But I can still hit 4-5 workouts a week. So it’s not too big of a deal. A foundation training day. I’ll hit the full 3 rounds if I feel good today.

I’m actually going to try the new GLM, I think that would be good. GLM then the updated Ascension when it gets here. To still hit on the foundations. Just when the updates get here. :slight_smile:

Afternoons

I was able to hit love and even joy quite quickly today with my letting go practice. That’s how I start the day. 35 mins of letting go work.

A bit tired today. I still tend towards staying up a little later than I want. I’ll stick to the 12-1230 wake up to hopefully prevent staying up too late. I get done working after midnight so if I can get to bed an hour after I get home from work that’s pretty good.

Oh I have seen one instance of a man being intimidated by me. I’ve seen a couple of the women give me the IOI’s in passing. It’s just that the healing is bringing stuff up to the surface, so I’m not as I guess grounded as I was getting used to. All part of the process. I’m on the CFW train for 12 cycles for sure.

Yea, I would say the healing has me slightly raw in terms of feelings at times. Nothing too much. Seems to be working through stuff that’s holding me back from being, doing, having what I really want.

Nights

I got my 10 min weighted walk in to start the day. I helped my brother move some stuff. But I didn’t finish out the work out as soon as I got home. Now I put myself in a position where I might have to do the foundation training after work. And lately I’ve been tired when I get home and I also don’t want to risk staying up all night.

End of Nights

Only got walking and mobility in again. Maybe 4 workouts a week is it for this 6 week block.

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#596

Day 8: No listening

Dang, data came out that regular chatgpt users have lowered brain activity, cognitive decline. And now I see that they come out with data on watching short videos. New research suggest that watching short form videos is 5 times more dangerous than consuming alcohol- for your brain! Affecting attention span, dopamine regulation and cognitive decline. It’s new research so a lot of argument about it I see.

Afternoons

Kinda low energy again today. Gotta will myself to work out. Feeling a little stiff, knees slightly sore today. So maybe too much rest days. Beast Unleashed kind of seems necessary in my stack. By next cycle I’m pretty sure I’ll have the CFW/LOTS custom so I can start testing Beast Unleashed.

Feeling a little empathic sort of. Just like feeling the reality of other people who gotta deal with things and aren’t really happy. But at the same time I need to focus on myself and my life.

Yea some sad type feelings today. Oh, I did remember that CFW has remove all weakness scripting. Plus it has increase inner strength. So any kind of lows aren’t too low and it’s just part of the process. Definitely a worthwhile title in my book. I think this was the perfect foundational title for me all along. It just wasn’t around when I first discovered Sub Club.

I think LB, CFW and my Spartan would have been the perfect foundational stack if they were around. Something to stick with for a year +. Though LB and CFW could be a tough combo for a beginner. But after my time here, that’s what I see as the perfect foundational stack.

But I think the forthcoming new GLM is going to be another banger. I’m looking forward to that one.

I think it was the first GLM- I used it very briefly. That’s what broke the camel’s back for me. As far as trying to stay in toxic work environments and put up with toxic people. It was also a bit intense because I was coming off being a nice guy. I guess I had nice confused with good. The new GLM will of course be more refined, and that’s why I’m excited for it.

Nights

I think Spartan is the best core to go with CFW. But I think Winner’s Mindset will be a big help and keep LOTS as the core. I really want to run this physical shifting long term to see how good it gets.

Plus the new GLM is coming and I think that’s gonna be really good. But I also want to try Beast Unleashed because I feel like I need that extra edge for the workouts.

This week it’s like my I don’t have the drive to workout. So maybe I will have to put Spartan as the second core with CFW. I’ll check back with Beast Unleashed thread for more research.

Ok, looks like I’m double stacking fitness titles when the custom arrives. CFW/LOTS custom and I gotta run Beast Unleashed at least at microloops. Plus Alchemist Singularity.

Man. I might be back to bare bones workouts until I snap out of this slump.

End of Nights

Still feeling like Spartan is the best core with CFW for a custom. I’m willing to stick with LOTS on the side, especially since it has some of that paragon scripting for organ health. Not my main concern but just peace of mind. I kinda miss whatever Spartan had, maybe it’s the mindset stuff. I think it will really keep me on goal while I’m working through CFW. It just provides that mental edge.

As far as best physical sub I think it would be Spartan. When I’ve had it in my stack I’ve seemed to effortlessly and naturally get to my lowest bodyfat. I think I probably am aligned with a lot of Spartan so it’s not obvious to me. I think it just adds the confidence to more just be me or something. I haven’t gotten to six pack abs but due to my years of always being on some sort of workout routine, I have decent muscular development. So I don’t need to be in the teens to be pleased with my physique. I’d say I’m 20-25% based on photos of bodyfat.

Again it was just walking and mobility. I’ve been eating more this week. Beast Unleashed would be coming in clutch right now. If this keeps up I will be trading out LOTS for Beast Unleashed. Workout performance is more important to me, plus it’s the form follows function thing. So I won’t lose anything as far as physique, and that workout boost seems to be the key factor for me. Spartan and Beast Unleashed are the missing ingredients after a few cycles with no Spartan Apex.

My body just doesn’t seem to have gas in the tank for the full workouts. Could be that physical shifting is really doing some background work and somehow my body is already hard at work making those changes. I do feel a little sore, which I shouldn’t since I’ve been missing workouts this week.

My plan to finish out the cycle is to start LOTS over at 30 seconds and increase 30 seconds each listen.

#597

Day 9: 6 mins Alchemist Singularity

I think I will go for Spartan Apex in the CFW custom. It seems I don’t want to run into the problem of recon, due to physical shifting energy demands. I’ll run that on the side. But that also keeps Beast Unleashed out of rotation this year. I know Spartan hasn’t given me problems and I’ve probably used that the most out of any titles.

I wonder if that relaxation scripting got me. I probably need some nervous system reset after years of being in stress putting up with toxic people. Recently I was feeling uneasy about resting. But also had that procrastination to working out and doing stuff. So that’s probably the recon maybe. Definitely feeling like I’d rather lay in bed and feel like I could sleep all day. So probably just some kind of phase.

Evenings

Walking around today I feel and look more capable, to me that mean’s more athletic. Still just feel like sleeping. But I’m gonna do my walking and mobility right now.

So my theory is that the physical shifting must be kicking in a bit more after 4 cycles and getting to 6 mins with LOTS. So I think I will freeze listening time on all titles for the rest of this cycle.

Cycle count: cycle 4 LOTS, cycle 3 AS, cycle 2 CFW

#598

Day 10: No listening

Sex Drive still hasn’t come back yet. No big deal. I think other things are being prioritized with my energy/vitality. I’m still set on Spartan/CFW custom. I think that covers my bases and I’ll just do my best to get comfortable and stick it out for the long haul. I plan to keep LOTS on and AS of course. I might just do microloops with lots for the winter. I’ll see how it goes.

Evenings

Seems that whatever recon I thought I was experiencing is already cleared up. I also seem to maybe getting some results of just being able to know who’s more “good” for me or something. Like I just resonate with certain people or something.

Doing mobility and felt like a strain on the back of one of my knees. I might be dropping LOTS next cycle. Spartan will be better for tendons and I guess I’m still not where I want to be with the knees. Sounds like Beast Unleashed might also be better for coming off injuries. I’m going to try to finish my workout today but yea, I can’t be hurt because I need to be able to work. I’ll just throw on the knee wraps. No pain in the knee but it felt like a little give in the back of one of my knees. So I gotta be careful.

End of Nights

I decided not to try the full workout tonight. I’ve gotta make sure I can keep working. No taking chances. I was ready to get back to it too. I’m not sure what got strained. Just the back of my knee. So maybe a tendon, hamstring or something. Fronts of my knees seem fine, but I guess I need to bed doing glute bridges to balance things out, to protect the backs of the knees also. I do a few jefferson curls as part of mobility but I guess that wasn’t enough. And I gotta be doing stability ball hamstring curls.

My goal was to be able to go hiking this summer, but that didn’t pan out. I maybe could have just would have to wear the knee supports. Now I might be starting all over again. A little earlier than last month. It was in Sept or Oct when I had to basically start over with working out. I’ll be considering Paragon next cycle. LOTS might have to get sidelined out of necessity.

Reading through the CFW thread, I’m kind of thinking maybe I won’t make a custom with it. I most likely will switch out LOTS for Spartan Apex though, I still need to fortify my physical body and tendons and ligaments. I gotta stay injury and pain free. So that has to come first before I get back to the LOTS physical shifting.

#599

Day 11: 6mins LOTS, 3:30 CFW

Seems to be just a strain. Back of my knee isnt sore but might hurt if I move too suddenly or bend down with straight leg. Definitely gonna need to hit the hamstrings from now on.

Evenings

Tentatively I’m going to stick it out with LOTS as long as I can.

As far as the custom. I had to rethink it. I’ll leave out the Love modules. Even my fabled Love Without Attachment module. Instead I just might go with the Fortune’s Favorite Module, and maybe finally be able to put True Sell Module in a custom. I don’t want any extra healing with CFW. I have a LBFH/DRLD custom that is just tough to run above microloops. Though would still prove to be quite effective, I just have to reconsider my thinking on microloops. Still have been on the more is better train. Just adding 30 seconds each listen, when 30 seconds, or even less can still be quite effective. I was reading someone’s report on using like 5 seconds of Wanted Black and being a bit blown away by the results they were getting.

Got my walking in so far. Now for mobility. The exercise that gave me trouble was cossack squats on one side. I need to work those tendons/ligaments/hamstrings. Coincidentally I think it was yesterday before I strained my knee that I saw a video of a progression for cossack squats. You just start on some stairs, pick a high stair, and you can work your way down a step to build up to cossacks.

End of Nights

Work was fine. Really haven’t had any pain in my knee at work. Just wore my knee wrap.

I have my custom list:

Chosen From Within Core
Spartan Apex core
Divine Self-Image
Eventide
Formless Clarity
Inner Voice
Lifeblood Fable
Synergy: Winner Overdrive
Synergy: Semper Praens
Safety Net
The Flow
Yggdrasil
You Are Not Alone
Fortune’s Favorite
Treasure Finder
Song of Joy
Joie De Vivre
Long-Range Seduction

#600

Day 12: No Listening

Had some nightmares last night. Seems to be digging in to those things I gotta work out. This time around I would say CFW has hit a little deeper at times. That may be due to the AS influence. When I first tried CFW I was saying it was the best one for anxiety, but this time around seems to be stirring things up. Not major but definitely digging in there. So it could be a few cycles before I’m to the really positive stuff. And also my custom will bring a lot of those good feeling aspects in.

End of Nights

My 35 minutes of letting go to start the day was fruitful. A little intensity with stuff coming up, got stirred up with the nightmares. I don’t even remember them. But it’s the whole think about rewiring the brain, when you choose not to react. Or in this case choosing to face it instead of distracting. For the rest of the day I wasn’t really bothered at all by it.

I got a new routine for my long work day. I used to take half the pre-workout before I started. And half like two hours later to finish the day. But now I just do the first 2 hours of work with no caffeine for the day yet. Then I take the pre-workout when I have like 3 hours left of work. It works better that way. I could tell I got a nice feeling, nothing major. No super energy, but it definitely got me to the finish line in a better mood and wasn’t a grind. So maybe I will need to try that with my workouts. Maybe take it after walking and mobility and then I just finish out the main workout. It might work better since I’m already moving and blood is flowing, so it just builds on that momentum.

I’m thinking about purchasing an exercise bike when I get paid. I think that will help me with the knees more than the rowing cardio. I’ll use the rower for like intervals, that’s the plan anyway. So I could be focusing on cardio now and again just getting those weak spots up to speed with my resistance/strength training sessions.