Day 2: No Listening
Woke up late again. I guess I might start the day off with caffeine once again and get this workout in.
I may try walking with the weight vest, and add second sets on my exercises today. That means I’ll have to workout earlier, or at least plan for a slightly longer workout time. So that should motivate me to get it done earlier, at least on work days.
Had some slightly sad type feelings the last couple days. Nothing major. But still resolving. Still around relationships.
Really ready to get back to LB and Love Without Attachment in the custom. I am tentatively planning one more cycle until I add it. Since I’m starting Beast Unleashed which is a new title in the stack already. But since it’s workout based I think adding the LB/LOTS custom would be no problem.
Evenings
I noticed that I just don’t get attracted to photos of women online anymore. But it’s more likely, to find them attractive in person. I guess that works for me. I never mastered the online dating thing, and there was this phenomena for me at least, where the same women who didn’t match me on the site, were throwing me IOI’s if I happen to see them in person. Pretty sure they didn’t recognize me. But maybe it’s an energy/vibe thing. Photos for probably most people don’t usually have the vibe factor of say like a video or audio, or in person.
I was at work yesterday, and one of the ladies was there. They come and go so much from this place I clean, that every once in awhile I check the website just to see who’s working there. They used to have hot women but not lately. Well I saw one of the women who I wasn’t attracted to at all from her photo, and in person I’m like yea, she’s hot. Pretty sure she’s married with kids and all that so there was no flirting or anything. She just happened to be moving into her office or something, normally I never see anyone and I’m by myself.
I’m really interested how my life will change, by my taking more actions, when my stack’s energy increasing properties kick in. Also when those opposites start getting resolved to where it affects me consciously, that’ll be really interesting. I do feel like my action at this time is just a bit lacking. I workout and I work, but a lot of chilling, and my inner work focus seems to be slowly but surely picking up again. To where I can meditate, or do letting go practice instead of scrolling.
I have started to favor Neville Goddard’s, “Isn’t it wonderful?” technique. All it is is you use it like an affirmation but to bring up the feeling. So when I first heard of it I was trying to use it like an affirmation. But it didnt’ last. I was still in the complicating things mindset. Now, though, I will tag it on the end of an affirmation. Whatever my affirmation is I’ll say Isn’t it Wonderful? At the end. It’s more about bringing on that feeling. Neville says you can just say Isn’t it wonderful? as the whole technique. It’s about the feeling. Like his book, ‘feeling is the secret.’
There’s another woman, who I wanted to be into. Kind of intellectually I think she’s hot, but there’s no chemistry. It’s because she is happily with the love of her life. I finally saw him. Like anniversary photos, and it completely deflated any and all of my wanting there to be any chemistry. That’s happened before too, where I want to like a woman then I see her man, and it’s like I just lose all that wanting chemistry and attraction. Not sure why, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a guy yet where I’m like yea, they belong together. lol. I guess maybe it’s just an acceptance thing, and a que to move on to what’s for me, maybe. But I think it also gives me the perspective is that there’s nothing “for” me, perhaps. So it kind of doesn’t matter. Take a chance, and who knows, maybe you’ll be surprised. If it doesn’t work out, no big deal. So to me it’s that idea of non-attachment, that’s a big key in life, at least from my experience. Enjoy it but never bet attached.
I just did my first walk with the 20lb weight vest. My enthusiasm for walking has gone up. It just felt good to have that weight on, and so I’m building a little strength endurance. Then after a few minutes I realized it also doubles as a core workout. I could feel my abs and lower back muscles activated, they gotta work while I walk. So that is a bonus. I’m just gonna go for a second set on my exercises, instead of the weight vest. I’ll just do walking with it this month.
Feeling tired today. I was up til 4am the other night, seems to have thrown me off. Might try a nap and finish up the workout after.
Never got a nap. Feeling like something is brewing in me. Like life that wants to be lived or expressed, yet not having that aha or knowing just exactly how or what it is just yet.
Nights
A lil cranky tonight. I think it’s due to the sleep again. I’m really looking forward to Beast Unleashed for the energy and sleep. I think it’ll be a good title for me. LB/LOTS custom will just round things out besides just being about fitness. Alchemist Singularity helps too, but I think LB/LOTS custom will be more like a lite seduction title, with being in the now and being present and stress free. More flow.
I think Alchemist Singularity will really help me free things up. Especially in terms of taking action, not taking action. Like this evening I was doing nothing because I was tired. But I couldn’t sleep. Yet felt like some old traumas around being made to feel like i have to be in action if not constantly pushing and that kind of thing. Even though I have plenty of experience about being present, and feeling good and things kind of taking care of themselves, and things just working out for me. I forget what that concept was called in this Energy of Money book I read a couple months ago. But it’s kind of a freeze response. You feel like you need to constantly push and strive and so in my case I don’t get anything accomplished, and then I don’t even feel good because it wasn’t on purpose for me.
End of Nights
About to finally do my workout tonight. Since it’s so late I’m not feeling so great about adding the second sets on my exercises. I will I just won’t push it too much. Just curious to see how those second sets will go after a month of consistency and hitting the reps but not increasing.
I also almost feel a slight guilt about working out. I don’t know anybody who works out. I don’t think anyone in my family works out. Plus they’re a bit older and stuff. So I think LB will really shore up any of that kind of stuff. I’m doing it mostly for my health, some looks, but also I want to be able to run and jump and be active as long as I can.
I’m also thinking more healing is in store. But I’m sure LB will really turn any of that noise down. I think LB will be healing and to me it’s the kind of thing LB would take care of.
I mean, anyone can work out. If they’re physically capable. It’s just that like any form of self development, a person has to overcome his or herself. Yet we get caught up in our opinions and thinking the way is to talk about others, tell them they’re wrong. It’s kind of said that the path of self development can be a lonely path. At the same time I’ve seen some religious people say solitude is the devil. That you shouldn’t be alone that’s where the devil gets you. Yet my experience is that being alone, I’m free from those outside influences. I get to feel good without anybody else’s judgements and perceptions. But I don’t argue with them. I see what they’re saying. There is the idea of the mastermind. You spend time with successful people, people smarter than you. That if you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
I’ve seen some mention of how rare it is to find a true teacher. Well I’d say to find a true friend might be equally as rare. But that’s where Inner Circle would come in. Available in the store! lol.
Workout went great. Even got the heartrate up a little. Hit all my reps on the second sets. So I’ll stick with that for four weeks. Just gotta find out if I can do that every workout. Then next month I’ll try some single leg work. Taking a more higher rep approach and progressing in line with my pushup and pull up progressions. So maybe I’ll be trying out some light kettlebell work next month too. Or a couple rounds on the heavybag. Or maybe I’ll take a more boxing approach and get to 100 reps in 4 sets on all my exercises.
