Day 14: No listening
After today’s workouts that will be 3 weeks of not skipping a workout.
I think I’m underestimating my time with Spartan. Others might be impressed with my results and I’m just not feeling like it was anything spectacular. So probably still in some recon. I’ll also get some Spartan bloom while I’m on LB. I just need those feel goods back in the mix. Definitely planning on getting that LB/LOTS custom, since lots has relaxation and energy and shifting and positivity. I think I’ll have to tinker around with Ascension though in a couple cycles. I’ve never ran it and could be just what I need to get the ball rolling for me again.
Yea, towards the beginning of the cycle I was feeling good and confident, getting attraction from the ladies. Feeling like I was ready to make those changes in my life. Then I got to AS and I think that’s already stirred some things up, nothing major but that only means good things are on the way.
Evenings
I think maybe there’s also a case for Sage Immortal for me. I used to always be on the search for info all types, fitness, health, spiritual etc. But I never thought it could help me find that key to free me from the unwanted attention from these certain types of people. I mean there’s gotta be some reason these people get entranced with me, like they must think they’re gonna get something from it. It’s nothing good for me.
But also, Primal was the best title I used for it. It helped me not care and just be grounded. It’s just a big title and I’m not sure it fits into my stack this year. I also will just get better at changing my focus on what’s already good. There are people who like and respect me, and these unsavory characters are few and far between lately. I don’t need to let them throw me off track. I can use non-reaction and let their nonsense boomerang so they’re their own downfall, as they already are.
After a night’s sleep, I’m back on the idea of sticking it out with my stack as is. At least one more cycle. Then I’ll have the LB/LOTS custom.
The end of nights
Man, I think Sage Immortal speaks to me. When I started this cycle I was in a place where had it been on my radar, I might’ve chosen it. I felt like I wasn’t back in my practices and getting pulled back into the world of people where it seems a victim-y existence. Sage Immortal will be on my radar. I plan on doing Alchemist and KB again, so it can wait a bit. I got AS on board already, and my LB/LOTS custom will be focused on a few spiritual modules, like the being in the now stuff. But I still have my eye on Ascension.
Lol, I just realized I was reading through Sage Immortal zpv1 thread. The zpv2 thread is dead. So, another title I’d kind of be going with my own experience. It’s a good thing though.
Okay, so there’s the reason why I never caught on to sage. It was more about information gathering i guess? Looks like Alchemist or ROM/ROS are more for what I would be after. But the reports of helping with meditation on Sage sound good to me.
I probably need some nature time. Been staying home mostly unless I’m doing the errands, or at work.
I have a manly scent on my hands today. I haven’t changed soap or touched anything. It could be that the black maca, and pine pollen powder could be increasing the manly hormones already. I dunno.
After work and now I’m thinking again. I really would like to stop this unwanted attention once and for all. I do see that it just started up again, and I would say that it’s not common. But it’s the kind of thing that if you had to deal with, you’d want to put an end to it. I don’t like that the only solution I’ve found is that I’ve just had to stop going to those places, because of say one or two people. But if it happens with one, they start it up like the opposite of the LBFH thing. They bring whoever they talk to in on the bs. Really leaves a guy feeling violated, and since they’re not confronting me directly I don’t know how to deal with it. Just not let it bother me I guess. That’s where Primal is the winner for me so far. I feel like it really took care of that problem. So I’m still considering Primal, since I’ve already listened to it multiple cycles I’m sure easing into it won’t be a problem. Just may have to keep listening time low in a 3 title stack.
In the past my first stop was to try some of the alpha titles. I did try early Khan, I made it to stage 3 but got off it. I wasn’t ready. But I did notice for me, from alpha titles, at least the earlier versions, that instead of keeping that unwanted attention away, it seemed to attract those types who were looking for trouble. I noticed a few times I passed some guys and it was really obvious they would have loved nothing but a fight with me, they saw me as the challenge, they wanted to be the king of the hill and to fight me seemed like a good idea. I dunno, maybe I will settle on LB just to get a sample of how my LB LOTS custom will play together.
I also did run the first Alchemist. I did that first stage for like 6 months straight. My intuition was peaking back then, and yet I was getting all this unwanted violating type attention, they never talked to me they’d just talk about me. I didn’t know how to navigate that, I was also at that time scared of losing my job you know. But at the same time getting harassed shouldn’t be a thing when you’re at work. That was also my last job where I had to work with and around people. I needed so much time to really let my nervous system have a break. In a lot of ways I think I’m still coming back from that. I don’t ever want to go back into a work situation, yet I was feeling like it was a possibility to start this cycle. I’m sure AS has just stirred up some things, and will prove to be a key piece maybe.
So as much as I’d like to have other modules, Eventide and Limiting People Remover will get slots in my next custom. What I’d like to get from Eventide is just to keep those kinds of people out of my business and thinking it’s okay to violate my privacy. Or maybe there’s a better module for that?
I did have one job I tried. Lasted one hour. As soon as I got in with the other workers, there was one guy there. Like immediately he starts doing this thing. Then he gets the other workers to be watching me in that violating way. I just went home and I had learned my lesson, hoping they see me as a person. Not some sick source of entertainment for them to violate. Can’t really talk about it because obviously I get my mental health questioned. Nah, man. Some things you’ll never know are real unless they happen to you. And luckily for most, they probably won’t.
