ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#515

Day 9: 3 mins Spartan

Current stack: Spartan, LOTS.

I do have an increased hunger today. Not as much as previous days. So it gives light to a new challenge for me.

My days after I work may lead me to an increased sense of hunger. It’s not a big deal for now. I don’t see that I’m putting on weight yet. If I had 6 pack abs I think I’d see those fluctuations more. But I’m not quite there yet. Plus after being in a deficit for so long, my body probably needs a surplus anyway. It’s just something I’ve never dealt with, increasing hunger and demand for calories based on activity level.

I don’t even think my level is that high besides work for the past 2 weeks. Though being more around my maintenance weight bodyfat, those things seem to have started to come up.

My sex drive has seemed to have tapered off in the last couple weeks as well. Though I wake up with that morning umm wood situation. So it’s not a health thing. Just maybe that energy isn’t as prevalent lately. It may be going to recovery, I would entertain that idea. Though right around the time of my partial k awakening situation, my sex drive was definitely on a high.

Planning to workout today. Not in the mood to push it but with a lower intensity that should get me back into the workout habit.

Off keto yet, I’m going to not go overboard is all. Until I get that whatever it is that gets me back to keto. It wasn’t will power or discipline. It was just I guess right for me so it was a no effort situation. And I’m still toying with the idea that maybe my body still needs a slight break since it wants more calories and it’s not catastrophic to my physique.

I talk about recovery, but I also have physical shifting and internal organ healing in play from LOTS. So that probably contributes to the increased energy/caloric demand as well.

Afternoon Updates

I went to the subway for lunch. Still off keto. I been enjoying their sandwiches.

This is the second time I went to a one of these places in the last week. What struck me as interesting is that the cashiers were both females. The first was a younger maybe HS or just out of HS. Well this was an older more mid 20’s if not older woman. Both times I don’t think they said a word to me! The first one was shy, but this one I dunno. I just think it’s so interesting that there’s people out there who don’t have that customer service vibe at least. I mean I used to cashier and I could put on that customer service vibe. Maybe wasn’t the most authentic but just got into that kind of groove to get through work.

Just kinda wild that, well they don’t have to smile at me or anything. But dang, I’m not offended. Just to me makes the case that we should have all been assigned to read How To Win Friends and Influence People sometime back in school. Even should have a lecture on it. We still need it!

Eve

I got just about 8 hours of sleep straight, finally. I’m still tired though. I haven’t even drank the caffeine today either. That push through via the mind isn’t there. I’d still call it a sense of wisdom and more letting my body dictate the day. Though I’m having the caffeine now before it gets way too late.

#516

Day 10: No Listening

Seem to be back to more regular sleeping. But more like 7 hours is my standard now. Waking up earlier in the morning, which I prefer. No more staying up all night because I couldn’t get to sleep.

I have not gotten a formal workout in this week. Not even mobility. A rest week is nice once in a while but I always think that I should at least do mobility instead of no workout at all. But we’ll get back on it.

Things really seem to be lightening up for me. It’s more of like a clear, relaxed vibe, with that love that is not dependent on anyone or anything. Just more lightness.

So now, I’m considering maybe adding some sort of attractive edge to the mix. Genesis Joy is not looking like the necessity it was just weeks ago.

I guess I might even consider another Khan Black run for boosting that sexual energy again. That seems to be the main component that’s taken a step back in recent weeks.

I’ve been so used to having that high sexual energy. I always thought it was just an overactive root chakra. Though I didn’t really know much about that sort of thing. When really it was probably just that k energy priming for an eventual awakening. I guess that makes more sense after we had the partial awakening. Things I looked at as maybe problems were just kind of clues, that something was going on outside of my awareness. That I always was on the path but maybe didn’t know it.

After posting an update, I’m noticing that there does seem to be more of that sense of vitality in me. So maybe today’s the day I start back up on that mobility at least. I’m thinking so.

Afternoon

Alright. Once the nap vibe hit me today, I felt like it’s time to start moving. Possible stagnancy. Right now it feels like slight laziness, so that’s my que to at least do my daily walking. Then mobility follows.

#517

Thank You for all of this feedback.

#518

I’m trying to remember my title and my current stack is Spartan, LOTS.

I’ve been off Khan Black for maybe 6 months.

#519

Day 11; 2 mins LOTS

I think Khan Black is the way to go next cycle. I plan on just 1 minute loops. Just a bit of a refresher run.

S&S is also being thrown around, lol. I guess we have a couple weeks to make the final decision though. If my libido makes a comeback by then, could be S&S.

Evening updates

Had some resistance come up today. So I finally had some stuff to work with. But it lightened up pretty quick. Wasn’t much of a letting go session at all.

I have been really tired today though. That’s my main challenge today. Maybe it’s the weather. We had record temps in the 90’s back down to 30’s F. Our furnace stopped working last night so could have me back in hibernation mode or something. Pre-workout did not do anything at all, lol. So all I can do is make the best of it and pretend to nap or something. Pushing it isn’t gonna shake this off it seems. Luckily I don’t work tonight.

Since things have settled down for me. I’ve been able to get a better sense of who I really connect with. So that’s been the upside of that sex drive having dropped off. It’s like I’m better able to just know who there’s more of that “real” connection with, rather than my own filters getting in the way so much as before. I’ve also been connecting more with the universal type love, which I think is not good for my dating game. But maybe, more ideal for bringing in those truer connections.

I forgot about my friend ghosting me a few weeks back. I happened to check my messages and saw that he hasn’t even read my last message. I had to laugh, not at him or his problems or anything. Just at my personal perspective of the situation. It’s like well, so much for that. I thought I was going to have one of my good friends back in my life. Nope. Guess not, lol.

Good Nights

I did get like a 30 minute nap. Which used to be rare. Did some walking. I’m a little cranky. I’ve also had some more stuff come up to work through. Nothing major. Just shows me that there are still some limits and feelings to dump yet. Which is fine, I’ve had a really relaxed week anyway. I’m ready to get back to normal yet. I’ve gotta do some light cleaning and it can’t wait until tomorrow. My knees feel like they could use that work again, back feeling fine. So it’s time to get back to working out next week for sure.

Way less reaction, and many times none, to the people antics. I mean just the kind of stuck in their programs type stuff. Complaining, framing things as if I’m wrong, lol the usual. That’s really nice. Attachments dropping away quite nicely. I still have work to do of course, but I’m really making some progress at times, and more importantly, able to appreciate it for what it is.

I did put my other buddy that I actually would talk with. Put him on block. Too angry and of course it’s the world’s fault. I just didn’t want that vibe around me. I told him I’ll check back with him in 30 days. I’m not expecting any progress. But who knows, life is filled with good surprises.

Since today was a rough day in terms of tiredness. I’ll stick with 2 mins LOTS on the next listen just to be safe. I don’t think it was LOTS but we’ll stick with 2 mins for another listen.

#520

Quick question: How did Khan Black (especially stage 1) work for you?

#521

From what I remember I didn’t have any problems at all with any stage of KB. I almost didn’t know what it was even doing for me. But I did have a 3 title stack and ideally I’d back that off to two. One would maybe be ideal, but very few are able to do that. Even with all my growth, I don’t think I’ve ever run 1 title for any length of time.

I was running new Primal with it for most of KB though. So that’s a big title and I’m sure I also had a third, I just don’t remember what. KB for me was easy. But it was the other titles that caused me any recon or challenges. Actually I think I was switching titles other than KB for the 12 cycles I ran it.

lol. I guess I gotta walk that back as well. I think I did the first cycle with KB st 1, all by itself. That’s the most I’ve gone solo with the subs.

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#522

Day 12: No listening

My knees are slightly feeling it lately. I really need to get back on the knee program. Back still feeling good. Thinking about kettlebell swings. But should get back on Foundation Training even if just as a warm up/maintenance kind of thing.

I’m also still having to do some letting go work, I think it’s kind of that relationship/connection stuff yet. But no major feelings or stories.

My friend that had been ghosting me finally sent an emote reply to the last message I sent a few weeks back. I’m not getting my hopes up though. lol.

Aftenoons

I was able to get a short nap in for the second day in a row. No crankiness today. Body feels relaxed. I’m just ready to start the workouts again. But gotta wait until Monday due to the work schedule.

End of Nights

We’re working through some of those lonely feelings. On one hand I’m laughing about it. On the other hand I’d rather be dealing with those pesky fears. There’s nothing manly about being lonely, lol. Yet it’s probably in the way of being the masculine manly free expressing me.

I was feeling lethargic and a little achy at work tonight. I’m expecting a long day tomorrow.

I’m going to start ramping up the Spartan listening time by one minute. I could use the boost and it’s been close to 30 days since I stopped the LBFH/DRLD custom. Spartan/LOTS definitely seems to be the most relevant to my work life. It’s physical with no social interaction. I’m also back on the idea of if I do add a third title, it would be Genesis Joy. I feel like yea, I can use the boost in those areas as well.

#523

Day 13: 4 mins Spartan

I think my cortisol has been a little lower lately. No trouble falling asleep. Last night was the latest I’ve been up in about 3 weeks. Until 3am. So maybe the relaxation scripting from LOTS is in play.

End of Nights

Feeling it from work. It wasn’t as bad as I though. But it was a grind.

Nothing major came up but just thoughts of the ex. No attachment to that. But that still seems to be what’s getting dumped. I just realized that maybe this is still making the case for Heartsong. To me that’s the best relationship healing option. I’ve done LB and LBFH. So to me it would be worth a shot for what’s been hitting me and coming up lately. I just haven’t thought about Heartsong in awhile. Still some back and forth, I would like to meet my person but I don’t think I have the lifestyle for that. I have a few options it’s just that they’re people who’re able to travel the world and do all these things. I basically stay home unless I’m at work. My options are of course people who live states away, I just don’t see myself moving and certainly wouldn’t even expect them to move to me, lol. Not at all. I’m just doing my best to attain that inner freedom and be free from attachments and all that. So I hope they meet their people if that’s what they want.

If anything to me, LB would be the next choice. But at the same time I’ve been putting off Heartsong over and over again, we talkin’ years. lol.

I also think it’s kind of not fair. Like when you have this what feels like a real connection with somebody and yet circumstances seem to dictate that you just can’t make this thing work. I feel for the other person, and on my end, I already didn’t get the woman I loved, my ex. So for me it’s not much of a big deal not getting it. But I still kinda feel for the other person’s situation, I definitely know what that’s like to feel like this real connection and yet it just seems like it’s not in the cards, not gonna happen.

#524

Day 14: No Listening

Feeling pretty good today. Elevated spirits for sure, it’s a brand new day.

Might as well start back up on the workout routine. Definitely back to keto.

Afternoons

Well, I did it again. Waited too long and now I’m in nap mode. So I’m gonna have to willpower myself back into the workout habit.

Not really putting much energy into thinking of my next title to add. But still not certain by any means. Today it seems like it’s more ideal for me, to make an investment in myself. By thinking more long term maybe. Like AOW. AOW and then TWTP seems like a good path.

Good Nights

I notice when I get tired then those old non-beneficial mind thought habits can creep back in. Seems to be a trigger.

It’s also been tougher to get myself back to inner work mode. I’ve been more interested in the social media scrolling. Although I did clean it up a bit for myself, to make it more geared towards things I’m interested in, rather than seeing all the negative stuff people get caught up in.

What’s coming up again this evening, is more of that lonely type vibes. Though definitely lighter. I can see all i gotta do is shake off this resistance to doing my inner work again. Same with working out. Going to have to rebuild that momentum.

Tonight I’m wondering if maybe I could benefit from trying out the new Inner Circle title. It’s light I would think and am not really looking to add any density to my stack yet. I kind of like the idea of Spartan and LOTS as the main drivers. Any added title might just get 30 second loops for awhile.

I did meet someone on one of the social medias, in like the last few days. I’d started watching one of my friends livestream, after I took like a 6 month break. My friend pretty much ignores me so I noticed some slight feelings about that. But I still have fun in the chat and this one woman added me as a friend. I just thought she had a cool name. Turns out she’s got kids, I would assume married. But she’s got great vibes and I get like a little positive boost from watching her stuff. She is like a tarot reader and other things. I’ve never been super big on tarot but it’s alright. She’s doing like a series on winning friends and influencing people from like an astrological perspective. So I felt like it was just one of those cool coincidences. I was on the how to win friends and influence people kick, and this is kind of a spin on that.

Also since my experience a few weeks back. I do feel like I’m slightly upgraded, maybe a cleaner energy or something. I went to this gas station I hadn’t been to in awhile. There’s this cashier chick that I really like. She didn’t even look at me. Just kind of has those resigned to a life she’s not happy with or something vibes. I got my nicotine, but then I remembered I wanted to grab some candy for points on one of those gift cards for receipt points apps. So I went and got that and went back to the register. I remembered I needed a receipt, and I said that as I remembered. She was kind of taken aback by my energy, it was like a pure energy I don’t know how to explain it. But that was obviously something she didn’t encounter on a regular basis. Even the other cashier guy who just came back inside kind of raised his eyebrows, like we don’t get this very often, lol. Just kind of a genuinely positive, attachment free vibe I’d say.

#525

Day 15: 2mins 30 seconds LOTS

Just two weeks ago after a couple weeks of not working out my knees felt great. Light jogging, felt like I could run and jump again pain free.

Now a month after not hitting the workouts, my knees are feeling some slight pains again.

Just got home after some quick errands. There are attractive women right in my own small city. I tend to really like these ones who are far away, those internet friend types. Yet if I wanted to actually be with them, the easiest way would be to get more money. So that I could travel. So I guess that’s an area I could focus more on my here and now, rather than being off in the clouds.

I did finally do some walking before I had to get my errands done. So right now I’m going to knock out that mobility. Also feel like it’s time for a round of Foundation Training to keep the back strong and healthy, and pain free. No probs there yet so I think we can nip that one in the bud. Gonna try out shorter workouts but just more of a daily movement plan for now again.

Evening

Kinda back on the idea of an LBFH/LB custom. I need that worthiness recalibration, I would plan on mostly a feel good title. After my run with the DRLD in the custom, I want just a feel good general life self worthiness booster, that isn’t so heavy on the healing. Though I think with the love component that healing will come as needed.

Actually, I will probably just do another run with KB. That seems like the best course. KB with Spartan and LOTS starting next cycle. I plan on just doing 1 min of KB. Then after the full cycle of each stage I’ll spend time with stage 3 for that energy boost.

It’s a bit of a grind just doing the basic workouts, mobility. So I’ll just accept that I may be in for a month of grinding back into the habit of working out again.

I’m reaching for another caffeine boost after about 2.5 hours.

I’ve kind of accepted that at some point in the day I’ll just need a reset. So I pretend to sleep up to like 45 minutes, and I guess I just need that reset for some reason on the daily. I feel much better even though I didn’t actually fall asleep. I found that it’s just a time for kind of mindfulness. I try to sleep but my mind may just stay awake and I just let whatever comes up just pass through awareness. So basically meditation lol.

Also if anything a Spartan/LOTS custom looks like my best option since I plan on keeping both titles indefinitely. I could do a LOTS name embedded with Worthiness Recalibration, but if I’m going to spend the money I figure just go with a custom. Though I’m more open to using less modules and just keeping it tight. I would guess there won’t be an update on either title this year. Still kind of expecting an updated Khan Black to drop, which would automatically, in my book, require another full run. So I might take the chance on running Khan Black anyway, if the update drops then I’d just start over.

End of Nights

I rough drafted another Spartan/LOTS custom. It’s fully loaded, lol. I think I’m going to plan to move forward with this one. In a month or two I should be able to send it off to be built.

It’s basically Spartan/LOTS with a little alpha/masculinity boost and success boost. I did leave out any seduction modules, and went for Synergy: Inescapable Gaze instead, to build on that LOTS scripting with the gaze stuff.

#526

Day 16: no listening

Woke up from a dream. This woman I used to be so into years back, in the dream she slept with my uncle. lol. So to me that’s a sign my unconscious is working on it to just be done with it and move on. Because I don’t really like that uncle and in real life, if that happened I’d be so over her. haha. I mean as far as I knew I was definitely over her lately. I realized that at the time she was like on the top of my list. But there were other women who were way better. Still a lot of new perspectives on relationships and all that yet too. Seeing with new eyes I guesss.

As the day progresses, I’m noticing some contentment. I think we rinsed out a lot of that relationship gunk. I was wanting to have a woman and all that. But today, I’m content and satisfied as is. They say the best place to be to really find a relationship. Not looking for it, don’t really care about it. I suspect possible bloom work having been done, from stopping the LBFH/DRLD custom almost 30 days ago.

Last night I almost talked myself into another cycle of the LBFH/DRLD custom. So that could be the opposite of recon. Things might have washed out finally.

Afternoons

Tired today. Woke up early. Had to take my car in for a minor repair. Got a nap in but still tired. Mobility workout done. Planning on trying out the knee workout, but my knees are sore from yesterday. But I’d like to at least get the calf work in. :smiley:

I am planning to take the LBFH/DRLD custom for another cycle, starting next. It’s my baby, and once I get the Spartan/LOTS custom, I’m not sure I’d want to run 2 customs, not with how tough LBFH/DRLD was. So that’ll give me some time with the custom again, and then after a cycle or two maybe we’ll see the updated KB, which I plan to run with the Spartan/LOTS custom.

End of Nights

In my reality, I’ve seen this a lot lately, that looks aren’t even important to the women I used to be into. I see all these women, who were so complaining about cheaters, and all this. I thought they didn’t like guys if I listened only to their words and feelings, lol. Then lately most of them ended up with guys who I wouldn’t even say are good looking. So in theory that should give me more confidence. I guess to me it just steers me more towards those authentic, truer, connections anyway. Rather than it being about just getting laid or having a good time. I guess that’s just my own kind of psychological makeup, to find more of a relationship, which is also why I have been single for so long. Anyway, there’s a couple of these women I thought were hot at one time, and they positioned themselves as the kind of women who would get on your nerves and rebel in the name of being authentic, they presented as women who would never give any guys a chance, then come to find out they’re now pregnant and the guys aren’t even good looking. Just kind of throws me for a small loop. But not a big deal since I realized I really wasn’t into them anyway. Just one of those puzzles that hasn’t been solved, maybe there’s nothing to solve.

#527

Day 17: 5 mins Spartan

Thoughts of the ex and that situation keep passing through. No charge there, so I guess it’s just more mental dumping going on. I have no attachment to that and I’m not ever getting back with her. So it’s just some residue clearing.

Got a slight tweak in one of my lower back vertebrae. Slightly painful but I’ll try a few minutes on the self traction before my foundation training session today. I’m guessing I tweaked it when I was doing this stretch touch the toes basically but added in some light rotations. I want to be more dynamic in my movements instead of the singular plane movement I kind of get accustomed to.

Evenings

Tired today. Sleep seems to be high on the list of being in a good place. I woke up early today, couldn’t sleep anymore. So I’ve been up. Had some slight anxiety out and about. Then I was pretty tired up until a few mins ago. Seem to be ready for my basic workout again.

I’ve had more of the thoughts of the ex coming through. I was kind of reconning, but I reasoned it to be due to tiredness. It can seem like old patterns are back. I was ready to get on a seduction title. When really it comes down to happiness. So I’ll consider Art of Happiness title again. The custom is so attractive because its’ a custom. Has all my handpicked modules. It’s just hard to run. I know I’m not done with it. But it’s a 3 cycle title, then I need a break. So as much as I want to, my level head would say Art of Happiness is really the way to go. Especially since I’ll have family from out of town for two months. Yea, it looks like it’s not what I want but it’s probably what I need. I’ll risk the AOH recon rather than the custom recon.

I still have things to work through yet. Definitely around dating/relationships/people. But that’ll have to wait. I think the Spartan/LOTS custom will really further that masculine, stoic unbothered foundation that’s key for me. So my LBFH/DRLD custom will get more rotations in the future. Also Khan Black will serve me well.

I still have some hangups around the dating thing. I think it just comes down to finding the right ones for me. So it’s a matter of not having every woman want me, just having chemistry with the right ones. I think that would save a lot of the hassle. Some of the women I liked I find out they’re serial daters. Like they get heartbroken and all that, then next thing you know they’re on to the next guy. I think that kind of junk comes from me not having the full on masculine, centered foundation locked in just yet. I mean I have moments where it all seems to come together, but when I’m not I get to see what things I still need to work through and or integrate. Just getting more cleared. I think the gaze modules I plan to add in Spartan/LOTS custom will definitely further me along with clarity and having new eyes to see things for what they are.

#528

Day 18: No Listening

I’ve decided to do another run with Love Bomb. I’ll spend a few cycles with that then hopefully switch over to the new KB with my Spartan/LOTS custom.

LB is just the rock I want my foundation on. I also think I’ll get more out of LB this time around, after having spent time with LBFH/DRLD custom. It’s just the right move for me. I think it will just make everything better and hit a lot of those things I still would like to work out and resolve, let go, transcend, integrate etc.

Good Afternoons

I haven’t done anything today. Got a full night of sleep. But still a little tired but not like yesterday. I wanted to sleep yesterday but couldn’t. It might be more of just the body needs a rest. Adjusting to the increased activity levels again. I’m not pushing to get back to my previous levels. I’m sure I’ve put on a little weight, we’re still not back on keto. So I say next week for sure, I better try on my lowest sized shorts to make sure I’m not going overboard. May also give me that kick in the butt to get back on track with the diet. It was raining and record cold for like two weeks, so it was just sweatpants and hoody weather.

I had preworkout about 45 mins ago. This might be the first day in a long time since I felt like it’s working. I did have 50 mg of caffeine to start my day and a couple hours later, did the 200mg caffeine pre-workout. Normally I wait until 2-3 pm before any caffeine, because 200mg is like a max caffeine dose for me. I don’t like going higher all at once.

Good Evenings

I haven’t noticed much in terms of effects on others. I’m not running titles that would really affect others as their main goal. I just don’t spend enough time around others. But in terms of the people I do interact with, things seem normal. To me it seems that my energy and internal makeup has more to do with how I’m perceived by and/or influence others. So I tend to be more aware of my internal state and whatever comes up for me. I think regular Love Bomb will just help me shore up a lot of things I’d like to work on.

Just because of some certain, unique, though not exclusive to me things happen with me. I really like to be completely released and in a good place if I’m around people. I can tend to affect the vibes, or maybe amplify them and some other stuff. So my focus is still my internal game, if you will. If I’m centered and all that, and I think that tends to be the most important thing for me. Rather than the sexy titles, I like to keep things more basic. Because if I have presence, and stillness, attachment free, etc. that’s where I like to be.

#529

Day 19: 3 mins LOTS

Full night’s sleep. Been lounging. But now I feel like I want to get the workout in, a good sign. So that’s what I’m going to do.

It’s a little cold in my place today. Well, extra cold. I was putting on my 1/4 zip long sleeve and seemed to have strained my good elbow! That’s the one that’s never had pains. lol. It’ll still be good to do mobility, move some blood through the joints. Plus I have the urge to do the pushups and pulls again. I saw a video of some older guy, said his joints are great and that’s just from doing calisthenics, keeps the body young.

Good Evenings

I’m thinking of going slightly off course with the LB custom. I am now planning to toss S&S into the mix. I think that would cover a lot of the bases of what’s been coming up for me. Without being healing focused like the LBFH/DRLD custom. This would more be the LB for the inner game and S&S to keep me interested in the outer world as well. I think that’s the combo that will be most rewarding for me at this time.

So it looks like my LB/S&S custom is going to be my version of Heartsong. Looking at some spiritual modules to keep me in the now, and in touch with the formless clarity and flow. Then a few of those modules about connection. So after learning some lessons with the LBFH/DRLD custom, and noticing what is coming up for me, I’ve got a custom that I’m going to be really happy with.

So in the meantime I’ll go with regular LB for the next 2 cycles. Although, I feel like S&S would spice things up enough. I feel like after my partial energetic awakening a few weeks back, things have gotten a little stale. S&S might be the proper motivation and mindset I need. I feel like I am in touch with love but the attraction and skills are definitely lagging and would certainly benefit from a boost.

#530

Day 20: No Listening

I’m seeing how getting back on track does take some effort. With working out, with doing my inner work. Whereas before my world getting turned upside down for a couple weeks, it was effortless. So that’s my goal, just to get back on track again. I’m sure I’ve put on a few pounds again.

End of Nights

I changed my work schedule so I do the whole job on Sundays. I just go at a normal work pace. Not trying to beat the clock. Still easing back into things. I’d rather save my energy for workouts instead of work. I’m not sure I’ll be able to go two cycles before the new custom I’m getting. But that’s the plan. I might want to speed it up to one cycle before I get it. At this rate I’m going with S&S next cycle. I guess I just need that novelty factor right now. I also think S&S will boost my results with Spartan and LOTS again, get me back in check with the diet and exercise.

#531

Day 21: 5 mins Spartan

It seems to be I don’t want to choose between S&S and LB. Thus the custom is the solution. I just gotta wait at least one cycle to round up the funds.

My elbow is still feeling some pain at times. I can’t believe I strained it from putting on a shirt because it was cold in my place!

Lol. I’m really looking forward to this custom. I have it chopped down to the essential modules. Yet with the synergy modules, it still comes to 20 modules. I won’t try and squeeze in Energy Development XI module. Even though I’d really like that. I’ll have to save that one for the Spartan/LOTS custom.

LB/S&S for me is just a meshing of those things I need most. Patching up that inner game stuff, with the external of S&S to really make things worthwhile. Just without being overly healing like LBFH/DRLD custom. The right boost I need for this year.

Right now I’m experiencing some of that procrastination in the form of, oh I wish I had a friend to talk to. Which really means waste time so I can skip out on this workout, lol.

The LB/S&S will bring that fun and feel good element back up. But when we get into the winter, I’ll probably want to come back to that Spartan/LOTS custom. I plan on Primalizing it with modules for that and success and more of the action taking side of masculine energy. I know that is something I need as well.

But with Spartan and LOTS I’m getting that physical masculinity and that good mindset so I’m actually not missing out on that sort of development. It’ll just get turned up when I get the custom.

Evenings

I just went back to the gas station. The one where a few weeks ago the guy was blatantly rude to me. Well he was there, and there was no problems. Guess he was just in a bad mood or a case of mistaken identity last time, lol.

Yea I think I just got into a bit of a rut since my glow up experience a few weeks back. Nothing major coming up but I’m thinking LB/S&S custom will really hit the spot, without being too reconny, like I might anticipate from Heartsong. I’m sure Primal would work but I’m looking to keep it a little lighter after the LBFH/DRLD custom run. I’ve already got experience with LB and S&S. I was thinking earlier how I think Primal did up my confidence. Maybe it was that Primal KB combo that gave me some confidence and there are times when I see hot women and there’s no hangups in me. That’s where S&S comes in, to get me those skills to actually learn and apply the next steps.

I still think I want to approach socializing in more of a sales type way. Not off putting or manipulative. Just in that most people are in their programs, and I just want to be able to navigate that without leaving any of their residue on me. Being able to leave them feeling at least neutral if not good, and thus avoid any blame being put on me for their bs and feelings. Just kind of in my mind, practical stuff. I don’t think every person is a match anyway, and since a lot of people have the same kind of patterns, where they’re always right everybody else is wrong, or needs to do and live this way, lol. My typical response has been to just avoid people all together. Or like today, I went to a new place and had a nice little interaction with this guy. I’d say it was a positive interaction. I probably just need more of those experiences to get over my own preconceived notions of people. At times I’m kind of sensitive to energies but can’t really put that into words or explanations. So I used to get overwhelmed around people, and I also think that’s also just me not being over my traumas, or stuck energies/feelings etc.

End of Nights

I just realized tonight, ever since a few weeks ago. I’ve been having what I could say is a LBFH/DRLD bloom. Just better experiences with people at times. I still have some things to work through in regards of being annoyed or put off by people’s NPC type programming. But that’s my own showing me what I need to work on yet. I also thought I wasn’t getting attraction, yet it’s more of a love connection when I do connect with certain ladies. It’s not the quantity connections, it’s more quality. So as I get back to my inner work and start clearing my inner space, I’m getting to see my new landscape.

My LB/S&S custom is just going to be the next level of that.

I’m still seeing a trend towards wanting to get to bed earlier, and wake up earlier. It’s just that my work schedule gets in the way of that. But for now it works.

Today I also got over the first hump with working out again. I did the mobility and now it’s like, I feel like there’s not much to it. So next I’ll be feeling better again which will give me more motivation to work out and keep progressing. After I start feeling good after working out, then I’ll be seeing results again which means more feeling good and more motivation.

Finally did my knee workout. Also doing 1 set of pushups and pulls daily. So it’s more like just a light maintenance/warm up routine until I’m back into the habit of working out again. The knee workout felt pretty easy. The pushups I can feel that I might get some slight soreness tomorrow. But just daily light work will be no problem.Tomorrow it’s the mobility and foundation training.

#532

Day 1 of 5: No listening

I beat that afternoon slump today. Did some walking and got the mobility in to start my day. I was walking around and noticed that my upper body feels, I dunno strong and good posture. I guess the one set of pushups and pulls yesterday already got my body back in the groove. It feels good.

I was up late last night. My usual time up until about a month ago. I did a late workout yesterday. Woke up at noon today. I don’t feel as good as when I wake up early and go to bed earlier tho. 8.5 hours of sleep. Once 3pm hit I hit that nap tired wall already. I even took preworkout and that hasnt helped. So I’m going to have to have a better plan to deal with my early afternoon crash. Do the pre workout early in the day and get the light work out in. Then do the main workout before or after dinner.

Also been able to get back into my letting go practice today. So we have navigated that lil bump in the road. Back on track it seems. Still not feeling too great, this staying up late waking up late isn’t ideal. But it’s due to my work schedule. I was getting nice and relaxed to the point where my body was doing some TRE shaking, to release more stuck energy from the body. So we’re still not done with that yet. Maybe could be tired from that. I’m planning to just play a guided relaxation when that nap tiredness hits me on the daily, I did that today and was able to get really relaxed and rested and felt a lot better for awhile after that. Then another wave of tired hit me. So that seems to be the tricky part. In the future I may want to see what I can do about that work schedule. Maybe something will show up since a better sleep schedule seems like it would enhance everything.

End of Nights

Pretty productive day of inner work. Seems that I’m still working through some of those lonely vibes. Social/relationship healing. That’s why I think S&S will be the right title. It’s not healing focused it’s more on developing those skills, and I’m also looking forward to those new eyes, that I tend to get after some time with titles. Seeing things differently. It’s not about friends, I guess it’s more about yea, part of does want to be able to have those great connections with great women. This sort of topic seems to be my biggest challenge coming to the surface. So I’m looking forward to working through it.

I’m up for a clearing title but due to circumstance, family in town for the summer, I have chosen to opt out of that option. Ideally, I’d be willing to run Khan St 1 for a couple cycles. But gotta go with S&S.

I just realized I been feeling a little heartbroken today. I don’t even have a reason! So it’s gotta be old stuff coming up. I’ll of course keep an eye on what comes up. But now I’m looking at just going with Love Bomb instead of S&S.

To me the heartbreak is the result of not having the proper beliefs, attitudes, skills etc. So I’m still thinking S&S. Time to get some new eyes and successes under my belt.

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#533

Day 2 of 5: No listening

Feeling lots better today. I forgot that yesterday I had a lot of Trauma Release shaking. So I was moving old energy through.

Good Evenings

I didn’t get that nap tired crash today. So I’m gonna chalk it up to just needing to process and release old energies. Although now it seems to be coming on. About 90 minutes late, but definitely not like it has been.

Good Nights

I never really did get that crash today.

I’m having a tough time deciding between LB and S&S. I’m in touch with love but I know I’ll need more of that LB side of things. But I also know I need to develop my skills with S&S. The custom is coming in 2 cycles or less. So it’s just a mental thing. I think S&S is the better prep for the custom since I already spent time with the LBFH/DRLD custom. I’ve previously done both LB and S&S. I know I’ve grown a lot and am ready to see where I’m at with S&S this time around. Also I’d really just go with Primal but it’s a big title. I think S&S will be better in the short term as it’s a skill title. With Spartan and LOTS, LB or S&S is a winner in my stack.

#534

Day 3 of 5: No listening

Yea, I’m in a much better place than the last time I used S&S. More inner development for sure. Lately I drive around or go out and notice that the only thing I seem to be lacking is the skill and habit development. So I think I’ll have more fun with S&S this time around. I don’t have any anxiety about approaching, but I also am like a blank slate, lol. Meaning I just don’t have the reps or proper mindset development to approach. That sort of inner coach will be very handy.

Evenings

So far no crash again today. I guess I’ve settled in to getting to sleep around 3am. Waking up later than I want. But it works. Last night I got to sleep and woke up pretty quick from a nightmare. Then I was up another hour.

I haven’t had the motivation to do my workout today. So I’m doing it right now before dinner.

I do feel like I’ve had some of the sex drive come back today. Not to previous levels, but I think we’re getting back to normal. I also have some motivation to start reading and studying again. I picked up a copy of Atomic Attraction to help me make the most of S&S. I’m also back into ketosis today. So everything is back on track. Not to tippy top levels, but we are back on track. Haven’t skipped any workout this week so far either. Well I guess I got too excited by the reviews on the Atomic Attraction book, there’s a guy on reddit who says it’s all bs. :frowning:

S&S will be really great to show me my own style of attracting and seducing. That’s what I’m looking for anyway. Through experience I’ll find what works for me.

I went to the drug store to pick something up yesterday. I had another moment of people looking at me like who is this guy? I could tell my energy made an impression on them. There was a woman standing at the register, I didnt’ know at first but she was talking to her bf the cashier. So finally when things got clear I was able to grab my order. But I just got that look from both, after speaking, like uhh I dunno. Just my energy made them impressed or something.

I’ve got S&S playlist ready to go. I kinda got giggly, knowing that there are some good surprises in store. I’d only remembered one positive experience from my last run. Where I saw this cashier chick. I was waiting for my car outside. She eventually went on break and I saw her walking back inside. I thought to myself she’d make a great girlfriend, and at that very moment she looked at me like she was interested. I hadn’t had a lot of my inner blocks cleared yet so I didn’t take advantage of it. Was still in anxiety stuff. There were a few other experiences, but back then the anxiety stuff got in the way. After some Primal and KB and LBFH/DRLD custom. Yea, like I said, I have plenty of moments where I have no anxiety, when I see attractive women, also no attachment, but the uhh “game” doesn’t seem to be there.

End of Nights

Energy flow must be good. I got that increased body temp the last couple days. Like the metabolism furnace is back on.

Just found out one of my crushes is moving out of the country. Now she a world traveler too. lolol. This is the one that a few months back I just wasn’t into anymore, when I found out she had a man. She hasn’t said, but maybe that’s why she’s moving. hmm. No word yet. I was really seeing clearly how it was me putting all the magic into it, that I was the one creating that for myself. Then for awhile there was no sign of a man, and so I let my guard back down and got the crush going again, lol. Now this. Oh well. ahaha. She did live on the otherside of the country anyway.

Maybe I just need time with DRR, but can’t afford the recon for now. I also realized I’m not really worried about being practical. If I were practical I’d still be thinking I need to run EOG. I do plan on that for maybe next year. After I get some S&S and more LB and Spartan/LOTS under my belt. I also want to run the updated KB when it comes out. But luckily I’m not attaching to any plan. I’m pretty sure I’ve got the rest of the summer stack set up already. And then I’d like to maybe go with something like EOG or heck, maybe even heartsong by that point.