ABC333 Khan Black

Day 4- No Listening

Was up all night. Finally got four hours of sleep. Sleep has been low to nil this week. Turns out it was just the next phase of whatever experience i had 5 years ago. I settled on maybe calling it a satori experience. The energy moved through and hopefully I get some sleep tonight. Definitely feels less profound but still clear. Like the tensions went away and just a nice sense of clarity. I would say the ego is still there but it’s just going to be easier to work with.

Evenings

Just got through another wave of the energy moving through the body. This time it took awhile. Definitely was slowly making it’s way up. Lots of nice tingles. But I’m still here. lol. Still looking forward to getting some sleeep.

Day 5: 3 mins Spartan

I’m on team no sleep. I guess I got traded or drafted. It’s like last night. As soon as I get to just about to let go to sleep, my body shakes back to waking. It’s not too bad, I’m not miserable or anything. But I’m really going for a day where I’m not laying in bed all day. But I think I may get a third wave of the energy moving through. I still feel like I have some work to do. Traumas I guess that come out in unwanted thoughts, the shadow, as they say. I am out of the zyn’s too. Lol. I was going to go to the gas station now if I was awake. But I feel like the next wave is soon to arrive. I don’t want to go anywhere if that’s gonna be going on. A friend indeed would help my need. Well, it’s not a need. :smiley: ahaha. So once again I am hermit mode, hunkered down for possibly another day.

Evenings

Got a few hours of sleep. More energy moved through. I didnt want to call it the k thing because there was no energy going up the spine. But that just kicked in after a nap. Its slow and it kinda feels good man. I dunno. So seems to be some sort of unfolding still going on.

Day 6: No listening

Finally got some sleep accumulated last night. It was a bit of an off week for me. I didn’t get any workouts in. Called in to work one day, first time ever since I been working this one job. So I think getting back on track is already started.

Good Evenings

Had another wave of the spinal energy come through. It seems less intense with each passing. I think it’s been 2 now. So I’m anticipating it will keep coming up. But I gotta to work tonight and haven’t been out of the house in about 3 days.

End of Nights

Ho-ly cow. I just had some crazy experience at work. I do the cleaning at this place where they work with abused kids. Like counselors and stuff. I’ve been doing this one cleaning gig for like 2.5 years. But today I got my mind blown. Now I’ve always been a fan of ghost shows. Then they got old. It was always focusing on these negative things. So I eventually lost interest in them. So I get to work. I start cleaning the first bathroom. I get a heart palpitation and am thinking holy cow is this some sort of psychic attack or something. So in my head I just say maybe my mom can help me. She passed away last year. Well as soon as I say that multiple what you’d call negative spirits gang up on me in my spiritual ear. I finish that one bathroom, but then I’m gone. I grab my bag and I’m out the door.

Now, I thought maybe those kind of psychics were real, but until today I still wasn’t like 100% on that. I kinda thinking maybe now. My brother works in a shop by his self. He actually has an orb video from last year. He says he felt like he was touched on the arm, and according to the video that lines up with this orb he caught on video. So now I’m a little concerned. I hope it was a fluke because this is not my expertise one bit. And I like the job! I’m sure I’m extra sensitive this week this wild stuff going on. All I do is let go man, I let go and I like to feel love as a kind of meditation. That’s been my whole practice.

Day 7: 1 minute LOTS

Feeling a whole lot better today. Like it’s just a normal day. Starting the day early since I went to sleep early. Now I got a long day of work ahead of me. I think I’m going to work right now just to get that extra bit out of the way. I think it was the right move to choose rest and sleep over pushing through it last night. It’s only an hour and a half extra.

Also taking a much needed social media break. Besides updating my journal and reading I don’t want any of the medias. I just don’t want the overstimulation. Rested and boring sounds like the kinda life I could get used to for awhile. lol, man. I think I really was able to work through some fears last night, and definitely woke up with a sense of peace, and silence. Not the crazy spiritual kind, just like there’s no worries or anxieties running through my mind, I like it!

I definitely think that calm, grounded, centeredness is number one on my list of traits. But sometimes I think that only comes with experience. Other things come in to play, and I think overall, that harmony works in cohesion and unity to achieve equanimity in ones sense of reality.

Day 1: Spartan 3 mins

Had to restart the cycle. I had the wildest 8 days of my life. It was like life chewed me up and spit me out. I think with the k awakening thing, it brought out my deepest fears. Like I said I don’t do yoga just letting go and feeling love.

I went 7 days no listening to my titles.

I feel like the new Art of War would have actually helped me navigate this last week a bit smoother.

But today I start all over. New cycle has commenced. I was definitely set back financially but it’s not terminal. Got some overdraft fees that got me in a hole. As I was in a safe space tending to the dark night of the soul or dealing with the shadow as referenced by Jung. Maaan. What a ride. Yea one job is a cash job, the other once a month pay and I only work part time. Still owe some taxes. Took out my 5 week month, oh well. I’m sure things are gonna work out. I still don’t think I’m fit for a normal job, gotta be more individualized type of work where I have lots of freedom and control over my time.

The Spartan and LOS really played a key part though. Definitely gave me the fortitude and optimism to overcome.

End of nights

Been just a boring afternoon and evening, now night. Just the way I like it.

It has also occurred to me that I may want to revisit Khan Black just for good measure. I’m talking just a one cycle per stage deal, maybe.

Day 2: no listening

In my feels today. Now we’re moving through the sad depressed type feelings. Looking forward to Genesis Joy.

Otherwise a boring day. Laying low. Maybe I need to do some movement, after spending time releasing and meditating.

Dug myself out of the worst of it. Could use some sunshine but still feeling a bit overwhelmed now that more people are out. Definitely still settling.

Me legs a bit wobbly today. Got deconditioned the last couple weeks. Then I walked for an hour straight yesterday. Even some jogging to get across a few intersections. Body was actually feeling capable like martial arts style moves again, lol.

I think that’s from all the movies I’ve watched. I just picked up on it and was never actually taught formally. Just some body movement to get loose the past few days.

Late Afternoons

I guess I have a bit of the k insomnia. I didn’t sleep last night. As soon as my body switched off to sleep I was right back awake. I just got done with mobility. No problemo. I’ll probably do a full workout. Hoping that will kick in the sleep tonight, or whenever, lol. I would absolutely say I’m only working with a partial k thing. Not the full fledged. I can tell I got some work to do.

I’ve also been off keto for about 2 weeks. I don’t seem to have gained weight though. Eating a full 3 squares a day of normal meals. Not what I’d consider clean. Like pizza, burgers, pasta etc.

Back on keto today though. I just prefer it. I’ll probably try for the 2 week induction, that’s just no carbs for 2 weeks. Then I’ll go back to 1 carb day a week maybe 2 depending on how things go.

Anxiety is a little there now though. It’s been a heck of a week. I’ll just continue to focus on relaxing, letting go, and doing the breathing to keep the cortisol in check.

End of Nights

Some strong fears have come on now. I do think I’ll be able to sleep tonight though. I’ll just do some more walking and light stretching. Maybe I’ll have to do a TRE session just to disperse some of that excess energy. I actually never imagined that I’d have this k thing. I’m calling it that because I’m not sure if it’s acceptable to talk about or whatever on here. It maybe just extra energy that I need to walk it off a bit. It’s just not something I was going after or anything. None of the spiritual people I listened to really ever talked about it as part of their awakening. So I wasn’t expecting it. Just a matter of facing myself is all. :slight_smile:

I have a friend I got back in touch with. He’s not doing so well either. He may have cancer. One of my uncles probably has cancer. Umm, I’m not worried about it for my health. It’s just that everybody’s getting older and that kind of bothered me. I don’t want to see anyone suffer or deal with health issues, but I guess it’s just part of life.

And I’m scared of the unknown I guess. So I just had to type that out. I don’t fancy an old fashioned paper journal. This is my only journal anywhere. I hope that maybe I’d be able to find some sort of support. I wanna be there for my friend but he’s having a tough time, and I’m having a bit of a roller coaster. So I understand. Maybe getting back to work will make me feel better. A good night of work usually helps me feel better. Tomorrow I go back to work and have missed like 9? days of work. Got the overdrafts taken care of, I had a one time overdraft forgiveness so I was able to wipe them out.

Okay, just getting some of that out helped. Now back to some light physical activity.

Anyone gone through the k awakening thing, feel free to drop me a dm. Having a bit of a rough go after a fairly even keel middle of the day. But yea, I think I should be able to sleep tonight. That will be a big help.

You have been in the unknown and headed towards it many times before. You will be fine, trust in yourself and the process :slight_smile:

You are doing just great :smiley:

p.s (A small journal or booklet to braindumb during the day, might be a great addition). Also writing it out is different then typing a journal, purely due to the kinesthetic connection). It also gives you more time to think and reflect between sentences. PC is easier though, but I can tell a difference between both.

1 Like

Feeling much more better and ready for some sleep. Thanks!

Day 3: 1 minute LOTS

Just woke up. 7.5 hrs of sleep straight. That’s a new record for the last 10 days. Feeling a whole lot better. Dare I say, more normal, slightly good. So I’m gonna go do some errands while I’m feeling fine. Looking forward to being back at work tonight. I’ve had good feelings throughout the whole ordeal, heightened states of love, even a few moments of almost tasting enlightenment, but those moments were short lived. But maybe we’re back on track! Normal is good, man.

I can see how some things were like happening before I knew it. Like I wanted to take a social media break. That got real weird not even going to try to explain that one. But it’s like things are new, but for the most part the same. So yea I’d say it’s been a partial awakening of the k. I certainly could work on maintaining that still mind, that’s my biggest challenge I think.

I take that back. I remember after about 4 hours of sleep, I woke up to notice that more energy had moved, filled through my body. As far as the energy I hadn’t noticed that since the initial first few days. It wasn’t anything major. I could just feel that this energy was in my body and had moved through again. But I went back to sleep.

Alright I had some slight anxiety as I was running errands. Just normal after the wild stuff I been through. I realized a few months ago that was just normal for me, nothing to worry about. Definitely going to get some stuff done finally. Laundry is in, planning on doing that cleaning that I was meaning to do before I had to take a break from the normal things. Just gotta get used to the new normal I guess, definitely easing back into normal life.

Good Evenings

I’m more leaning toward bringing back one of the LB’s next cycle. Instead of Genesis Joy. I just really like that component. Either LB or LBFH. I may need some time with LB again just to continue on my inner journey. I’d probably just like a custom LBFH and LB.

Lol. There’s still a little bit of the thing about some people just don’t like me. About 10 days when my adventure first started, I went to the gas station I always go to. The man who I’ve seen multiple times before, the cashier guy, was just blatantly rude to me. I’d never said anything to him, was never in a bad mood around him. Apparently I offended him in some way, lol. Today at the grocery store there was a new guy cashier and he was giving me those dislike vibes. But I went to self checkout. And I’m still wondering about my friend. I guess as far as that goes he has his own things to deal with. So I won’t put a story on it. But the guy hasn’t answered my instant messages for like a week. That’s when we hung out and went for a drive, before I knew what I was dealing with. He’s had some experiences as well. But things I’d never try.

I guess I found out that maybe there’s two paths of k awakening. There’s the active, where you’re doing yoga, chanting and breathing and all that. And the passive, which I didn’t know was a path to the k awakening. I was just letting go, but apparently in my minimal research, that’s the passive path. Surrendering and letting go.

Anyway, I guess I don’t let that bother me. I was kind of bothered today at the store, but that’s because I had anxiety after the whole thing I went through. But the first cashier at the gas station guy I had no reaction, and just acted as I normally do. Because I never said or did anything to or about the guy, lol but in his world I definitely did something he didn’t like.

On the positive note, there were a few people who I definitely won over. Just because I think they could feel that love and goodness from me, they even mentioned that out loud. I wasn’t actively projecting. I was just kind of struggling because I wasn’t exactly sure what transformation was happening to me.

I think I’m still dealing with some fear of success. Right before I got into subliminals, I was doing affirmations. They started to work. For whatever reason that kinda got me spooked. lol. So I will be exploring that aspect definitely. I’d heard about that too with the letting go thing. There’s a story on a couple of the courses I used to learn the letting go. They said they’ve had a few people send the courses back for a refund, they said things were getting too good. lol, and I could never understand that. But I guess it snuck in there for me too. I guess that could also have me exploring the idea of having responsibility, and whatever else goes with that. I was never a guy who moved up in jobs and all that so I never had the responsibility besides being like a basic worker.

Alright, made good progress on that fear of success. I won’t say I got it completely out but definitely was an obstacle I was finally ready to face. I’ll work with it some more. Seems that was behind my anxiety today.

End of Night

The anxiety was cleared up until it was time to go to work. Then the floodgates kind of opened on more fears. So when I got to work I decided to try mindfulness. I don’t think I did so great but I was able to at least have a little fun and not take it so seriously. I was smooth as butter though in my physical movements.

I think the big hiccup for me with this whole awakening thing is the fear. At one point in time I thought I was ready to face it. But now I think that could be the stage I’m at. I’m ready to face it at least more ready than I’ve been. At one time I probably was trying to bypass it by just focusing on self love. But at the same time I think having the self love is giving yourself the ability to face those things you need to face. I would say the fears are irrational, I know that intellectually. Yet the mind can be really tricky with how it hooks you in. So yea, I’ve still got some fears to work through. But now I’m feeling alright after a good night of work. Shower and hit the sheets for hopefully a good night of restful sleep.

Oh and since it’s finally shorts weather. I tried on these shorts I bought last year. I never wore them because I could button them but it was too uncomfortable, they were tight. Tonight I wore them. I will probably need a belt in a month if not sooner. It’s just kind of been easy as far as trimming down. I of course still have a bit to go. So maybe my real pant size is a size lower than I thought, I mean if this keeps up.

Day 4: No Listening

5 hours of sleep. I’m gonna try to sleep in some more.

Nevermind. Seems to be what it is for now. Not feeling fatigued at least.

I don’t have that drive to get everything done today. It’s more like I’d like to sleep in and relax more. I guess I don’t have much to get done, because I did it yesterday.

Now, a little cranky. Seems to be just old habit. If I don’t get enough sleep then I get some crankiness to deal with my umm, story that it’s not as it should be. lol. Actually it seems to be more that I have the feeling of slight discomfort and then the story goes on top of the feeling. But at least there’s a little humor to it when I become aware of the pattern. Humor is a big help, I don’t have as much as I’d like, but again, just the old habits of story about it. What should be, versus what I don’t want.

Afternoons

I have a big appetite today. I think it’s maybe just an effect of transitioning back to keto.

A little bored, but with energy to burn. So that’ll be good for the workout in about an hour.

I’m actually a little sore today. Not much. Just getting back into the swing of daily movement, once again. So I may not actually get back to my normal full workouts just yet. Taking it slow, no rush. Feeling better, pain free. Just still adjusting to this new thing of less sleep, and working through things as they arise. Making self care a priority. I can tell that may have also contributed to the crankiness. Just growth pains I would surmise.

As far as the emotional front, just the slight crankiness, and slight anxiety. Nothing like the storms from previous days. We, I cautiously state, may be entering calmer waters.

Got a taste of some Spartan warrior vibes. Some of those irrational worries came to mind, and instead of fear reaction it was just like the Spartan who showed up. lol, not really having the descriptive prowess at hand at the moment. Also seemed to have slowed down into almost nap mode.

Just skimmed through Genesis Joy copy again. That does look like the way to go for me. Next cycle. Looking forward to more of that.

Evenings

I’ve definitely started just practicing mindfulness as a matter of necessity. Not saying I’m any good at it yet, but it definitely seems to help. Still working through stuff, just at a more normal level for me. Low level anxiety, which used to be a normal thing. Actually it was pretty high and I don’t know how I was able to work like that, at least around people. I was just forcing myself back then. I thought I had no other choice.

So just more time with LOTS and I’m sure I’ll get more of that relaxation benefit. Looking forward to that.

Still have a big appetite today.

End of Night

I was dealing with more sad type feelings earlier. Just been staying mindful. Not really working at it, and that helped.

I think my appetite could be from being back at work last night. I missed like 10 days of work. Being back and still performing at a high level after a bit of a layoff probably turned up the furnace.

Day 5: 3 mins Spartan

Feeling alright today. 7 hours of sleep. I probably could have gotten more but I have to do some stuff. I needed to be up early. Getting back to more normal, for me, amounts of daily physical activity probably helps with getting the good sleeps.

I went back to the gas station where the cashier man was rude to me last time. He wasn’t there. It was another lady. I was just going to go in as normal once again just to check it out. lol. In the past if I ever got just poor service or any rudeness, I’d just stop going to the place for good. This particular place was one of those places. I hadn’t gone there for a few years. Staff changed over and so I’ve been going there since one of my jobs is nearby.

My appetite is picking up again already. I’ll try to eat more since Sat/Sun are generally my highest calorie demand days.

Good Afternoons

A more mellow, normal vibe today. Very nice.

So my first feels of the day comin’ up. It’s lonely. I like being alone. I’m happy alone. But nope I gotta look at it. I feel lonely, but I don’t like being around people. I think that’s like a double-bind or something. lol. I’m not actually digging for anything lately. If something comes up then I’ll lol when I see it and we’ll take a closer look. After going into the depths the past two weeks, I’m content to coast a bit.

What I would normally do is go find one of my chat people to talk to about it. But I don’t think that’s really dealing with the feelings in the way I’d like. I’d call it maybe a form of bypassing. Just sort of sweeping it under the rug. That’s where most of my connections were is online. But when people have just dropped off big time, I dunno. It is what it is. So that’s where the current lack spot is.

On a more happy note, I got paid finally. Taxes are paid off. So that’s checked off. I also don’t feel the need to spend any more than I need to. That was a form of self soothing for me. After eating was knocked off, I still had that pesky bad spending habit. So that one seems checked off currently, we done with that too.

End of Nights

Went to work. Got in the flow. This combo is crazy. Dialed in. Moving with quickness and unconscious competence. I don’t think I have moved that quickly at work, and with precision and literally no thought in some of my movements. That’s really cool stuff. I was thinking I don’t need Daredevil on board or I’d be living out an action/adventure movie as my life. lol. I also noticed a strength increase. Where maybe a month ago I was still fighting back from some back pain. So I’d had a pulled back muscle sliding some kind of heavy chairs out. They just felt light tonight. And I haven’t actually done any strength training in 2 weeks. It could be that I just got more connected and in tune with my body and the way it moves.

Day 6: No Listening

7 hrs of sleep. Feeling alright.

I’m going to increase by 30 seconds each listen for LOTS. I feel like I could definitely handle 3 mins of both Spartan and LOTS. Maybe more, but I’m just being really conservative after the time with LBFH/DRLD custom.

Good Nights

Just got back from work. It wasn’t as cool as last night. But it was much longer. Overall a pretty good day. It’s just that you’re not always gonna be able to go hard every single day. And that’s the approach I took with today. I knew it was going to be a longer day, so I was doing my best to approach it that way. Didn’t have to do my normal speed. I’ve had yea, 2 weeks off from this job, it’s my longest one and since I usually go hard because that’s just my pace, it’s tough sometimes.

I’m in my feels again since I got home from work. No story with it. I’d say it’s still kind of that lonely vibe. Just no story. So I’m feeling like I just need a good night of sleep and tomorrow’s a new day. We’re back at it. I’m not expecting it to be a full workout day. Might be a little sore from work. I might have to make Tuesday a workout day, and maybe Friday. But every week day is mobility and walking for sure.

Lately it seems like just being at work lets me get into my body and the moment. So that’s really nice. I can just kind of flow with it and have some nice feelings as well.

Had a rough go at sleep. I got to sleep but my mind decided it was going to work on some more fear. Woke up once and my mind seemed restless but I went back to sleep. Then I ended up waking up from a nightmare. It was a few of my friends were in my house with me. Another group of my friends who were now bad were going to come in to shoot us. So thats 2 hrs after originally falling asleep. I’m going back in for more, lol.

Day 7: 1min 30 sec LOTS

Was starting to have that big hunger come on, but it’s faded out. Haven’t eaten yet. I’m slow getting into the day. More content to relax a bit. Nothing on my to do list.

Not feeling sore so maybe I will get a full workout in after 2 weeks off.

Feeling a sense of just more being at ease. No sense of lacking feelings so far.

I’ve still to listen to my loop of LOTS today.

I just had 2 cookies for my first meal. That’s not keto. lol.

Afternoon

I’m going to get that movement in now. Still feeling like keeping it light.

That nap mode came over me instead. If I don’t workout pretty much right away in the day, that nap mode catches me. I normally don’t get to nap, just pretend to until that restart button hits.

I’ll work out after dinner. I have the momentum built up from working nights. So I will be able easily use that to get the light workout out in.

End of Nights

Got hit with some tiredness post-dinner. That funky sleep last night- 2 hours of sleep then up for a few hours followed by 5 more hours. Seems to have caught up with me now. So I’m planning to get to bed early tonight.

**Day 8: No listening **

Current stack: Spartan and LOTS.

Again slept 2 hours woke up for an hour or so. Went back to sleep for 7. I got to bed early so it’s no big deal. Woke up early and I actually like it. I just maybe can’t do that everyday with working nights.

Just mostly feeling like a normal day today. I work tonight. Nothing to check off the to do list.

Good Afternoons

Rest and relaxation seems to be high on my to do list lately. But when I work, I work hard. I still haven’t slipped back into the workout routine. Missed my mobility and walking yesterday. Not a big deal. I’m sure I get enough physical activity with the work. But for what I prefer, I like to get at least a couple workouts in a week.

Good Evenings

I have been in nap mode all day. No nap. So I’ve been listening to my body on that. I’m having that cup of coffee now though. In the past that’s meant maybe an all nighter, lol. But it’s a work night. I can afford it, if it happens.

I had a cookie and some potato chips for breakfast. I planned on getting back on keto. I did get a slight stomach ache, so that tells me I did go too far. I should have just started back up on keto. Appetite hasn’t been as big as the past few days, now that I just thought of it. Rest and recovery, and extra calories was the name of the game the past I’d say 3 days.

I guess I could say I’ve noticed a wisdom component lately. Listening to my body rather than pushing through with my mind. Really understanding and accepting there’s a time to go hard, and there’s a time to relax and recover.

I’ve also just naturally been more focused on my lane, so to speak. I haven’t been reading all the other threads lately. Just focused on my particular journey and growth. It seems more of the FOMO type stuff, which I’d never known I was subject to, has dropped away.

End of Night

Work done. I was still feeling it from this weekend. I started working and yet I could tell my body is still not completely recovered. So I just accepted it, didn’t try and match my last work session at this job. I worked at what I’d call a leisurely pace. I still finished in my best time since I been back to work. How that works, I don’t know. It was not as messy I guess. But also I’m usually in a time race, I want to get out of there in this amount of time. But even though when I move faster it’s a challenge to hit this time. I was even hitting those details I might skip over when I’ve been trying to beat the clock.

Day 9: 3 mins Spartan

Current stack: Spartan, LOTS.

I do have an increased hunger today. Not as much as previous days. So it gives light to a new challenge for me.

My days after I work may lead me to an increased sense of hunger. It’s not a big deal for now. I don’t see that I’m putting on weight yet. If I had 6 pack abs I think I’d see those fluctuations more. But I’m not quite there yet. Plus after being in a deficit for so long, my body probably needs a surplus anyway. It’s just something I’ve never dealt with, increasing hunger and demand for calories based on activity level.

I don’t even think my level is that high besides work for the past 2 weeks. Though being more around my maintenance weight bodyfat, those things seem to have started to come up.

My sex drive has seemed to have tapered off in the last couple weeks as well. Though I wake up with that morning umm wood situation. So it’s not a health thing. Just maybe that energy isn’t as prevalent lately. It may be going to recovery, I would entertain that idea. Though right around the time of my partial k awakening situation, my sex drive was definitely on a high.

Planning to workout today. Not in the mood to push it but with a lower intensity that should get me back into the workout habit.

Off keto yet, I’m going to not go overboard is all. Until I get that whatever it is that gets me back to keto. It wasn’t will power or discipline. It was just I guess right for me so it was a no effort situation. And I’m still toying with the idea that maybe my body still needs a slight break since it wants more calories and it’s not catastrophic to my physique.

I talk about recovery, but I also have physical shifting and internal organ healing in play from LOTS. So that probably contributes to the increased energy/caloric demand as well.

Afternoon Updates

I went to the subway for lunch. Still off keto. I been enjoying their sandwiches.

This is the second time I went to a one of these places in the last week. What struck me as interesting is that the cashiers were both females. The first was a younger maybe HS or just out of HS. Well this was an older more mid 20’s if not older woman. Both times I don’t think they said a word to me! The first one was shy, but this one I dunno. I just think it’s so interesting that there’s people out there who don’t have that customer service vibe at least. I mean I used to cashier and I could put on that customer service vibe. Maybe wasn’t the most authentic but just got into that kind of groove to get through work.

Just kinda wild that, well they don’t have to smile at me or anything. But dang, I’m not offended. Just to me makes the case that we should have all been assigned to read How To Win Friends and Influence People sometime back in school. Even should have a lecture on it. We still need it!

Eve

I got just about 8 hours of sleep straight, finally. I’m still tired though. I haven’t even drank the caffeine today either. That push through via the mind isn’t there. I’d still call it a sense of wisdom and more letting my body dictate the day. Though I’m having the caffeine now before it gets way too late.

Day 10: No Listening

Seem to be back to more regular sleeping. But more like 7 hours is my standard now. Waking up earlier in the morning, which I prefer. No more staying up all night because I couldn’t get to sleep.

I have not gotten a formal workout in this week. Not even mobility. A rest week is nice once in a while but I always think that I should at least do mobility instead of no workout at all. But we’ll get back on it.

Things really seem to be lightening up for me. It’s more of like a clear, relaxed vibe, with that love that is not dependent on anyone or anything. Just more lightness.

So now, I’m considering maybe adding some sort of attractive edge to the mix. Genesis Joy is not looking like the necessity it was just weeks ago.

I guess I might even consider another Khan Black run for boosting that sexual energy again. That seems to be the main component that’s taken a step back in recent weeks.

I’ve been so used to having that high sexual energy. I always thought it was just an overactive root chakra. Though I didn’t really know much about that sort of thing. When really it was probably just that k energy priming for an eventual awakening. I guess that makes more sense after we had the partial awakening. Things I looked at as maybe problems were just kind of clues, that something was going on outside of my awareness. That I always was on the path but maybe didn’t know it.

After posting an update, I’m noticing that there does seem to be more of that sense of vitality in me. So maybe today’s the day I start back up on that mobility at least. I’m thinking so.

Afternoon

Alright. Once the nap vibe hit me today, I felt like it’s time to start moving. Possible stagnancy. Right now it feels like slight laziness, so that’s my que to at least do my daily walking. Then mobility follows.

Thank You for all of this feedback.

I’m trying to remember my title and my current stack is Spartan, LOTS.

I’ve been off Khan Black for maybe 6 months.

Day 11; 2 mins LOTS

I think Khan Black is the way to go next cycle. I plan on just 1 minute loops. Just a bit of a refresher run.

S&S is also being thrown around, lol. I guess we have a couple weeks to make the final decision though. If my libido makes a comeback by then, could be S&S.

Evening updates

Had some resistance come up today. So I finally had some stuff to work with. But it lightened up pretty quick. Wasn’t much of a letting go session at all.

I have been really tired today though. That’s my main challenge today. Maybe it’s the weather. We had record temps in the 90’s back down to 30’s F. Our furnace stopped working last night so could have me back in hibernation mode or something. Pre-workout did not do anything at all, lol. So all I can do is make the best of it and pretend to nap or something. Pushing it isn’t gonna shake this off it seems. Luckily I don’t work tonight.

Since things have settled down for me. I’ve been able to get a better sense of who I really connect with. So that’s been the upside of that sex drive having dropped off. It’s like I’m better able to just know who there’s more of that “real” connection with, rather than my own filters getting in the way so much as before. I’ve also been connecting more with the universal type love, which I think is not good for my dating game. But maybe, more ideal for bringing in those truer connections.

I forgot about my friend ghosting me a few weeks back. I happened to check my messages and saw that he hasn’t even read my last message. I had to laugh, not at him or his problems or anything. Just at my personal perspective of the situation. It’s like well, so much for that. I thought I was going to have one of my good friends back in my life. Nope. Guess not, lol.

Good Nights

I did get like a 30 minute nap. Which used to be rare. Did some walking. I’m a little cranky. I’ve also had some more stuff come up to work through. Nothing major. Just shows me that there are still some limits and feelings to dump yet. Which is fine, I’ve had a really relaxed week anyway. I’m ready to get back to normal yet. I’ve gotta do some light cleaning and it can’t wait until tomorrow. My knees feel like they could use that work again, back feeling fine. So it’s time to get back to working out next week for sure.

Way less reaction, and many times none, to the people antics. I mean just the kind of stuck in their programs type stuff. Complaining, framing things as if I’m wrong, lol the usual. That’s really nice. Attachments dropping away quite nicely. I still have work to do of course, but I’m really making some progress at times, and more importantly, able to appreciate it for what it is.

I did put my other buddy that I actually would talk with. Put him on block. Too angry and of course it’s the world’s fault. I just didn’t want that vibe around me. I told him I’ll check back with him in 30 days. I’m not expecting any progress. But who knows, life is filled with good surprises.

Since today was a rough day in terms of tiredness. I’ll stick with 2 mins LOTS on the next listen just to be safe. I don’t think it was LOTS but we’ll stick with 2 mins for another listen.

Quick question: How did Khan Black (especially stage 1) work for you?