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Day 1: 15 mins Paragon

Here we go. Next cycle.

I went to bed last night and had some light pain in the back. Nothing like it was to start the week. So I got back up and did the self traction device for 15 mins. No pain this time and felt like my back is really taking to the machine. So I plan to keep using it 3 times a week but it’s possible I’ll need to do it again tonight.

My weekends I do a lot of bending over at work, no pain last night. But still a couple days to be back to normal. My knees didn’t bother me at all either. So the rehab stuff is definitely what I need to be doing 3x a week too. I was walking around as though I was still hurt because I didn’t want to aggravate anything. I’m just taking it really slow. So I could still be where I want to be physically, by the time summer is here.

Feeling the LBFH mood today. The great thing is if I ever get down LBFH always brings me back up.

Cardio is gonna be tricky for a couple weeks I think. So I’m not sure what to do there. Maybe some high rep light weight movements that are more upper body focused. I’d try hitting the bag but my elbows have been slightly sore too. Probably because I haven’t done pushups in a week. Band presses and band rows might work. I can do it at a quicker pace with no impact and keep it light.

After work:

Cardio and Stamina definitely weren’t there today. Work was a grind. Feeling exhausted. I probably should have picked up some coconut water on the way home. Just wanted to get home though.

I might try the wall pushups this week with 5 minutes of my cardio rower machine in between sets this week. See if my knees will tolerate it, well my whole body, lol- or if I should go with the band rows.

Still trying to nail down the culprit that has me visiting the bathroom after I eat. I think it could be this brand of MCT oil I’ve been taking. That’s the last new thing I haven’t stopped yet. Never had a problem with MCT oil but I always stuck with one or two brands. This one was cheaper and more economical I got a big jug that would last who knows 3-6 months. I may have to go back to the old brand. It would be worth it to not be dealing with this issue as well.

Still listening to How To Win Friends and Influence People. My attitude is changing. I just noticed myself after the fact, that I was putting the focus on the other person. Instead of my making it about myself. That’s a better strategy for me than talking about myself and getting some advice or unwanted attitude rammed back down my throat. Instead of being resentful, I just approach it different without even having to strategize. Just a matter of repetition and listening to the book. I like that about repeated listenings with books- it just starts to come out of me naturally rather than me strategizing. Kinda like sub club titles.

Plus I have my journal so that let’s me indulge in my own analysis and interest in my own life.

Another idea, could be the creatine. I’ve always taken the micronized creatine, and lately have been reading on people saying 10 grams a day of creatine monohydrate is the ticket. Well I just started that. I’m suspecting that to be the culprit. I take the mct early in the day. Beef Gelatin, mid day. Before work Collagen Peptides and Creatine Monohydrate-10 g. So that’s why I was up all night and messed up my sleep schedule. Today it seems to have happened once after the creatine and now so far so good. I’ll cut back to 5 grams and see what happens. I’d like to use up the rest of my bag before buying the creatine hcl version again.

I think I’ve got it. That’s what I took today at work when it kicked in again. Halfway through I took creatine and mct oil and some other goodies to get me through the last half of my shift. I can go back to the Creatine HCL version of Creatine. And that means I can still take the beef gelatine and collagen, and MCT oil.

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Day 2: No Listening

I cracked the case on my gastrointestinal issues from the last two weeks. It was the creatine monohydrate- 10 g at once was too much. So far so good on taking 2.5 g every 2 hours. I’ll try for 10g today to find out if my guts will handle it. lol

Well, maybe not. Might have to space out my 2.5 grams even more. Guts feeling a little iffy. In high school, that was the first time I tried creatine. It was called Phosphagen by EAS brand. Never had a problem. Hadn’t taken it again until my 30’s but have always taken creatine HCL since then.

This time I just got the cheap bulk version. It seems to work just not the best on my stomach.

Just did my mobility stuff. I was able to do about 90% of it. I’ll do the FT after dinner.

End of night:

I was able to do 1 round of the beginner FT. I didn’t have pain but my back was hinting at it. So I’ll have to ease in to FT a bit slower than planned. I will try another round tomorrow. The program calls for 3 rounds but it could take up to 3 weeks to get to the real starting point. Once my back is fine with it and also gets reconditioned a bit more.

Walked for 30 minutes. Knees aren’t feeling 100%. I’d say 80%. Mostly pain free. I won’t risk quick movements yet. But I’m able to touch my toes and hold a deep squat for a minute. I’m holding off on doing any deep back bends, but was able to do some cobra press ups. The first exercise of FT has a sort of standing toe touch movement and took a few moments to ease into it. My back wasn’t sure it wanted to do it pain free just yet.

I’ll finish up with the knee rehab exercises and the self traction device.

Back to the creatine situation: I think I have a choice, since splitting my 5g dosage didn’t help. I can probably just take 5g at once and deal with a few bathroom trips. So I might keep taking it in the morning and be done with it by noon. Depending on what I have going on a particular day, until this bag is gone. Bathroom trips were lasting all day with 10g. 5g I think I can deal with.

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Day 3: 30 seconds Paragon, 5 mins LBFH/DRLD custom.

I been waiting for this. I’m gonna do 30 seconds of LBFH/DRLD when I listen to 15 mins Paragon. So I’ll listen to both titles every listening day. I’ll keep doing it like this.

I’m feeling confident in my knees today. Feeling confident in the back. I can roll around and move however I want in bed again, no pain.

I don’t do like a standard squat in daily life much. So I want to do things that are more like how I’d move in daily life.

I’ve just gotta take it slow, I think they say it’s like 4-6 weeks for tendon adaptations. They strengthen slower than muscles.

My sleep schedule is still not back on track. So I haven’t been feeling great today. Staying up like 2 hours later than normal. Feeling groggy. Also since I’m not in the best of moods, just tired, I might just stop the creatine for now. I’m just not enthused about the increased bathroom trips after taking it. I’ll go back to the kind I was taking previously.

I think Solitude Module is working great. I’ve changed my focus to making good use of my alone time, which is basically all the time. I don’t feel bad that the people I was messaging with every day aren’t messaging me back. I realized that it might not be in my best interest to be talking with people who are still in the stuck in the mud kind of mentality. I’m not a counselor or life coach, after all. I also can’t fix their lives for them.

I’m rough drafting a Paragon/Spartan Apex custom. Since I’m going to be on Paragon for a year and I want Spartan in the mix. If I pull the trigger I’d say May I’d have the extra cash.

lol. Welp, it seems the real culprit for the bathroom trips has been MCT oil. I got a gallon of this brand because it was cheap. I just don’t want it to go to waste, but it seems my body is not adjusting to it. I’ll go back to one of my old faithful brands. So I guess I’m taking the creatine today. lol man.

I got a an 11 module custom outlined for Paragon/Spartan Apex. I’d be really excited to start it. Now to let it simmer.

I think just a Paragon custom would be better. Keep it to 3 cores in my stack total. Just nudge it up with a few select modules instead.

Had a little hiccup in my finances. I have to be way more careful in balancing the books.

Feeling under the weather today. Cranky and tired. My mobility workout didn’t help. I haven’t gotten the LBFH boost I was looking forward to. I popped an aspirin, maybe some keto flu. Tomorrow I won’t take the MCT oil. I took the creatine and no extra bathroom trips. It was only after the MCT oil.

That was pretty quick. Took an aspirin before dinner. Then I sat down to watch a tv show. Remembered I had to run to the gas station to pick something up before it closed. So I just got into action and feeling better. Not LBFH good but more normal, and normal is nice when you’ve been feeling bad.

End of night:

Physically I was back to 100% as far as work performance/ability. Knees are still slow going but I was wearing the knee sleeves. I even took 5 more grams of creatine monohydrate before work. No problems. Case closed, I got some bad (for me) mct oil.

I was impressed with how my back has bounced back so quickly. Normally I’d be taking a day off work. But I think it’s been the fact that I’ve kept up with a minimum on the Foundation Training. I’ll just have to do the self isometric adjustments as part of my daily routine too.

I didn’t do dead bugs like I had planned. I just did a recovery/mobility day. Still reconditioning rebuilding the stamina after the week off. Recovery is important so as long as I do 3x a week on the main stuff FT and the knee rehab, and just stick to light activity active rest days in between, that’s the plan.

I was listening to this guy who I think was the head of carnegie institute at one time. He taught classes and started off taking one of the classes. He said there’s a story that Dale Carnegie wanted to add one last principle to How To Win Friends and Influence People, it was if all else fails kick them in the shins. lol. I finally noticed that if I just approach say cashiers with good will, maybe i don’t always get it back. But sometimes I do. Like tonight I went to the grocery store but they were closed, stopped at a gas station I never go to. I didn’t judge the dudes working, they were mopping up and cleaning. I used to do that job too. So it was just understanding the situation and still making sure to be respectful and with good will and I got it back.

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Day 4: no listening.

Feeling a lot better today. I think I’m in light ketosis again after a free day on Sunday. Sleep schedule seems to be just about back on track too.

Knees are feeling normal so far today.

I started working my forearms too, for the elbow benefits mostly.

I’d say my whole body feels back to normal today, finally.

Been playing 639 hz music all day. I wish they had it in EDM version. This isn’t workout music. It’s more like meditation or sleep vibes. I usually play 528 hz electronic music in the background.

I just had to talk with customer service on an order I placed somewhere. Right off the bat my mentality was hey wait, instead of being frustrated I’ll try the How To Win Friends and Influence People way. I felt better about it.

Not sure how they receieved it, lol. But it seems my financial hiccup wasn’t a hiccup at all. I just need to return an item. I thought I made an order where everything was free shipping. Turns out one item was an outrageous shipping and handling fee. So all I’ll need to do is send the item back when it arrives and finances solved.

I used to think of customer service as robotic and tried to talk like they’re trained to. But I never thought that felt good, to be on the receiving end. You know when you know it’s just their job and they don’t have much interest.

Workout went well. No pain. Touching my toes from standing is way easier. That self traction device is responsible for that. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to get that deep.

I tested out some lying pelvic tilts. I plan on doing dead bugs but I figure might as well start more basic and see if my back is okay with it. Well I did five reps focusing on that core contraction when flattening the back to the floor. After 5 reps I got some TRE shakes. So I’ll keep doing that, my body seems to have some stuff to release from that simple movement.

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Day 5: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD custom. 15 mins Paragon.

I’m up early today about my ideal waking time. So I may try and take the hit and just stay up to get the ball rolling on waking up a little earlier.

A cool thing that has been happening the last say, two months. If I’ve been working on an affirmation or goal statement, occasionally my dreams will start to reflect that.

I’m also feeling like the LBFH is kicked in today.

My luck and good fortune seems to be on an upward trajectory again.

For the first time ever, in all the training/exercise videos I’v seen, I saw a video from a phsyio guy about back and knee pain connection. He said if your knees hurt it’s connected to your lumbar. So I think that is relevant to me. Last two bouts of back pain, my knees were hurting with it. He says that’s because of the nerves, and that was what I was thinking too.

So he gives an exercise what you sort of hinge and bend your knees, weight on the heels. Then you’re holding a weight and rounding your back and lowering it. It’s supposed to relieve that nerve stuff causing the knee pain.

This is opposed to FT, where they say their method will make it uncomfortable for you to round your back. But I think rounding is a normal daily movement, and I’m going to incorporate this exercise into my routine. I was doing jefferson curls, and never had a problem, but I also wasn’t using heavy weight. I have not been doing jefferson curls again since the back pain. So I’ll do this exercise instead.

Today I didn’t feel like I needed to wear any knee sleeves just walking around the house. Even tried some light bounding and being light on my feet. No problems. But I won’t incorporate any of that back in the workout just yet.

I dunno man. I’m kinda thinking I need to do a candida cleanse. I’m on keto already so I don’t think that would be an issue. But still seem to be experiencing the extra bathroom trips. So maybe I need to do like 30 days with no carb days at all. Plus I already do most of the things they recommend for candida. If I had insurance I’d go in for a check up. So for now it’ll be extra garlic oil, black seed oil, and oregano oil.

I guess I’ll also start a cleanse with the Now “Green” which is black walnut, wormwood complex, for some cleansing action. Also I gotta pick up some probiotics, L. Rhamnosus.

Tried a new self back pop maneuver. It’s pretty challenging. Where you lay on your stomach bring one leg up like you’re gonna crawl but it’s on the ground yet. Then you raise into a cobra, same arm as the crawl leg u touch that shoulder to the ground with your arm straight. I got a good adjustment on that. I feel like now my back is back to 100%. My balance and stability wasn’t quite at 100%. Yesterday I was walking down the single step in my garage and was a little wobbly yet. Felt like my hip wasn’t quite adjusted and mobile yet. Now I’d say I have my full mobility and agility back.

Still need to keep doing my FT so the body knows it’s safe again. So as far as physically I’m feeling good besides the digestion situation yet. My body is feeling much more lighter and mobile. I’m sticking with FT as the main exercise though.

I also walked for 40 minutes, still feeling good there.

Also I had some more of the ex stuff coming up. Some healing still at work there.

End of night:

Was about to leave for work and had to make a trip to the bathroom. Took some kaopecate and luckily it held.

Was kind of in a bad mood. I don’t know what else I can do at this point. Then my ex was still on my mind again. Low mooding it.

Physically I was still feeling great. I worked up a good sweat. Second time today. So I think my stamina is back. Eventually I just kept listening to my audiobook and working and I felt better. I should have been out of there in normal time. It was messy so despite my fast pace I had to work longer. Would have been a long night if I was still in pain.

Towards the end my right knee was kind of hurting. That’s always been my good one. Had surgery on the other back in 8th grade but never bothered me until my 30’s. So taking care of my knees is one of my main priorities. I’m getting some 7mm knee sleeves and I think those will be a good investment. I have some velcro ones but these ones with the most support just don’t stay up even though they have velcro wraps. I think the 7mm sleeves will stay on no problem. I think that’s part of the reason why my knee was hurting, they kind of bunched up on me and under my pants I can’t really adjust them.

It’s looking like I’ll get a full year on my current stack as is. I just need to let it work and keep doing my part as well. Paragon and LBFH/DRLD custom.

Ending my night with the self-traction session.

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Day 6: No listening.

I finally had a full nights sleep again. I think I got 10 hours in. So much for my plan of waking up early. Got home a little later last night. Got to bed slightly later than I planned. But, I’ll take the good night’s rest.

Knees feeling a little sore I guess. I’d say it’s probably just them adjusting to the new stimulus of the rehab exercises. Building back up. Plus yesterday was my most vigorous day between exercise and work, for the past couple weeks. I broke a sweat twice because I was able to up the intensity finally.

Just took in my first calories of the day. So far my guts seem normal. So I’m crossing my fingers.

So far today, woke up late. So I’m not in the zone yet. Might take it easy on the exercise today. Just do everything a bit slower and mindful.

I’m also feeling like I wish I had some people to talk to. Just good friends. Yesterday I was dialed in, I was reading, exercising. Today is kind of a step back day so far. Like two steps forward, one step back.

No gut rumblings yet. So far so good. I may have actually gotten a stomach bug rather than anything I was ingesting as far as mct oil, creatine etc. But I’m gonna hold off on trying the mct oil again until I’m sure I have no stomach issues.

Yea, emotional healing day.

I’m not confident in my knees like I was yesterday. So definitely a light/easy day. I guess I still haven’t mastered the balance. I can do one intensity the same day every day, or if I do higher intensity that might mean a day or two of lighter/recovery days. Either way is fine I suppose. I just would hope my lighter days I’d have that mental focus to be reading and learning, instead of feeling all the emotions, lol.

I’m more creative than in study mode. It’s like I can come up with jokey product ideas today, maybe the Song of Joy module, and LBFH which has the laughter scripting.

I tried out some conscious love flooding on my knees. They definitely seemed happier after I was finished and walking around. It’s just sending love, many methods. What I do is, could I allow myself to send love to my knees? Would I? When? And after each time I check for any resistance coming up and I just release it and then cycle through as many times as I want. But you could also just stick with that feeling of sending love if you wanted. I just like to release any resistance that comes up so it’s more pure flow.

Zero digestive issues today. So my 3 week whatever seems to be gone.

End of night:

Finished up my FT session. Only did like half my normal workout. I took more of a recovery day. I’ll do the mobility I skipped, tomorrow as warm up before work.

My lower back has some residuals of pain but no real pain. So still not 100% recovered from the last round of back pain. But I do have 100% functionality, just slight hesitation on the standing to touches. Tomorrow I’ll also do my knee exercises in the am because I don’t like to lounge all day and I work in the evening/night. I’ll do some more walking too. I only did 10 mins today.

I’m going to bed early, but I would guess tomorrow I’ll get to bed a little later. Saturdays are usually slightly later bed time since I work a little later.

I’ll start my pushups and pull up progressions tomorrow. Just gonna take it slow. There’s these cool routines from a book called Convict Conditioning. You start at wall pushups and I think the progression is to handstand pushups. I don’t know that I’ll get that far but I could surprise myself, just taking it slow and being consistent.

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Day 7: 30 seconds Paragon, 5 mins LBFH/DRLD custom.

Feeling more like a rest day. I will take a slow walk to get the blood flowing. It’s also very cold in my house. Winter is back for a few more weeks I guess. We just got like 5 inches of snow and now single digit highs F for a week or too, lol.

I’m thinking I want to invest in a new full body pillow or wedge pillow or something. I sleep on my side. I’ve slept on my right side the past few nights, since the pain in my back has gone away. Now I got some pain in the ribs on that side. I think it’s the side sleeping.

I would also like to invest in some sort of red light therapy device. I’m looking at the body wrap types so I can wrap up my knees and even lay it over the ribs or back. I’m not big on the pain creams but if I gotta work I’ll use them. I don’t like to use the pain cream before working out because I would use the pain as a gauge of what movements or ranges of motions to not do at a particular time.

Body saying it’s a rest day. Did a short 15 min walk along with the most basic mobility exercises. I’m actually going to try for a nap now before work.

I finally realized this person I talk to, it’s like talking to my other family member. I have to watch what I say. Even if to me it’s innocent small talk or even humorous. I don’t know how they’re gonna react and then I’m left feeling worse, sorry I tried talking to them. lol. They’re both relatives, not related though, but the same kind of program.

I just always bring up ideas and jokes. And this guy takes it so seriously like he’s an absolute rule stickler and yet every idea is shot down of course. But that’s my fault, I keep bouncing back and brushing it off. Still a bad habit of mine.

Thinking or expecting that others will change if I just be myself, well it’s more the case that the better solution is to find people on my wavelength. People would get the idea that I don’t like people, and I realized the other day that that’s just not true either. I just gotta find those on my wavelength otherwise the drama and argument type of existence is just not for me. So I generally keep to myself and mind my own business. To me it’s just a matter of authenticity, perhaps. Like people talk about wearing masks, and I just don’t. I’m not mean, but that’s not my style. If others do I don’t care, I just would rather keep to myself in those cases.

A little in my feelings again. I was at work too. Work wasn’t a nice day, a little worried about the knees. They weren’t feeling tip top shape again. So I just will keep taking it slow and if it takes 30 days to get back to normal, that’s cool with me. I’m excited to get my new knee sleeves on monday. Hopefully they’re better than what I’ve been using.

I also am pretty sure it’s just limit destroyer going to work. Hence being in my feelings a little more lately.

End of night:

I wore my minimalist knee straps. They’re just basically a strap above the knee and a strap below the knee. I wouldn’t think they would help but they’re my best knee supports I call them. First job today I wore my most supportive and I’m not gonna wear those anymore. I feel more confident with the minimalist straps plus they stay on better anyway.

I had some insights and clarity. I couldn’t or wouldn’t put it into words. The first was just that I gained more consciousness around my ex situation. Read my consciousness rose.

The other was just more of the people and communication. I don’t remember what. I was listening to the chapter in this book, the principle was never tell people they’re wrong. Basically the book is like dating. Do the opposite of what you think you’re supposed to do. Say you’re supposed to argue and fight and throw your opinions in people’s faces, well according to the principles in this book, that is not the best way if you want cooperation and to influence people and leave them feeling good about bringing about your desired outcome. Although being a shithead, seems to be the trick in dating. lol. Disclaimer: I can only go by my own experiences and what works. Being the good guy didn’t cut it.

Like seems to be my case, some people just won’t like you no matter what. So best just to save your energy and move on. But people surprise me sometimes and there’s just those good people out and about, but everybody’s got their own issues and that’s what they’re interested in. They’re generally not interested in your opinions and being told they’re wrong, but they’re more than happy to tell you you’re wrong lol. You can use that to your advantage, not even in a manipulative way or getting the best of them way.

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Day 8: No listening.

I was a little reconny last night. When I was at work there was a moment where I was like this is really the perfect amount of recon. Since it may have to be part of the process, this is just the right amount, lol.

Before I went to bed I saw a video. A new concept was introduced to me. Vetting people you’re dating. I really liked the concept. I wish I’d known about it sooner. I could have vetted my ex and known it wasn’t for me. I think that’s when I realized it wasn’t going to work, when I started really looking at what I wanted. Well, she didn’t fit that. Had I vetted her in the first place I would have saved so much time and energy. But I also think that just being attracted to people gets in the way. So if I had known about vetting when I was younger, would it have mattered? I didn’t have the wisdom yet.

No stomach situations for 2 days. I really think it was more possibly a stomach bug of some sort, viral, or something.

I’m planning on starting my wall pushups and pull up progressions today. Gonna start from absolute beginner mode. I’ll do that after work. I’ll also hit the knee exercises because it’s been two days off. My body said it was rest/recovery mode.

After work:

Work went good. No stamina problems.

Now I’m in my feels a bit again. So still reconning.

I think I need a good night’s sleep. Just had dinner time to relax. Haven’t done any exercise yet since getting home from work. But I’ll get it in. Just need some decompressing first.

End of night: I kinda like the wall pushups. First day. I could see how it could get boring, after awhile. But for now it’s new and it gets the blood flowing and feeling the burn. It also requires mindfulness to keep the proper pace. I’d guess it won’t take longer than a month to meet the goal to move on to the next progression. I actually think the higher reps will be better for me due to the blood flow and joint benefits. I could definitely see myself back to regular pain free pushups later this year.

I was worried I wasn’t going to get any biceps work from the vertical pull. They’re the opposite of the pushups. But I couldn’t find a way to do them. Basically you need a pole or a rack to hold on to and you clasp your hands around it. Well eventually I realized I could try my barbell. Just stand it in the door frame like a pole. It works. My biceps are feeling it. I would have never guessed that would hit my biceps that good. My back might be sore tomorrow, not sure about the chest yet. Nice and slow and high reps. I like it. lol actually carrying the barbell is probably what pumped up my biceps. I was vertically carrying it over to the door and back.

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Day 9: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD. 15 mins Paragon.

First thing is that I’m once again surprised by what I see in the mirror. After a carb day I look better. Like my midsection looks to be really tightening up. I can’t wait for another month or two after I get some pushups and pullups under my belt.

The bodybuilding. com forums are gone and I wanted to refresh on how to do a carb up day by the book. Well I couldn’t find that info anymore. I can tell you I’ve never been strict with my one weekly free day. And I get great results. All I could find was mostly people with bad attitudes saying you don’t need carbs and calling you names if you wanted a carb day, lol. This was me trying to refresh my keto info after 20 years of doing my research.

Went to pick up some stuff at the big box store today. It was nice to see that my anxiety has gone way down. Getting glimpses of what it’s like to have almost zero anxiety around people. So yea, by the end of the year I think it’s certainly possible to be living at the lowest levels of anxiety in my life. That really opens life up for me. So I think I’m still on the right stack for me. Just at times I wish I was on other titles, but I know they’re not necessary. I’ve had periods in my life when everything was clicking, and I hadn’t even tried any subliminals yet.

I think I’ve found my money bible. It’s a book called The Energy of Money. I’ve had it for like 15 years maybe. I had so much resistance back then that I just never got around to reading it. I even went to college during that time and got a massage therapy degree. Never did anything with it, that pesky anxiety held me back. Yet I made it through college despite it.

So the book has exercises, making lists to help you get clear. Your life’s intentions and your goals. I’m finding it extremely helpful. Since I’m not on Genesis or a wealth title, this will help me with the money side of things for sure. Not business, per se. Just more of getting clear on the whole subject of money and my goals and intentions.

I just read through one part and it covers SMART goals. I’m not a big fan of them, but it’s put in a way that I can utilize. Especially more practical for something like money. Like, one example was that I want to be happy is not a goal. It has to be specific. So the example instead is I want to learn scuba diving by next summer. Or, I want to buy a new house. Those are specific. I’ve never been a big fan of time constraints on goals, but for whatever reason this book is helping things click for me, I guess I’m just ready. It’s like I get to be a beginner again, but instead of having so much resistance I’m finally able to get some clarity and do the exercises.

I gotta get some resistance bands. I’m more into doing prehab/rehab nowadays. Always have a goal to get back to jumps and kettlebell ballistic movements. I’m redoing my training as if I’m a beginner. No ego, just really being mindful, preventing injury and working with a longevity mentality. I like the new mentality of training the body as a whole unit, instead of isolation. But prehab/rehab is definitely more isolation which is fine since I gotta rebuild a solid foundation focused on joint/ligament health.

Bare minimum my goal is to just be able to jump on the trampoline for 10 minutes a day for the lymph benefits.

evening:

I was driving earlier today when I went to the big box. I saw this guy, just like noticed him as I was driving and he was intimidated by me. So with some people I still have the intimidation vibes. But I was just appreciating my perspective without the anxiety. I mean just viewing life from, “me” without the worries. I was also able to read some body language cues, as I was shopping. Nice to have some clarity and have room for more awareness and resources.

These new 7mm knee sleeves are legit. I never bought them because I thought they were for like power lifters. But they got me thinking I could start doing knees over toes exercises again. But I will hold off. I am considering walking stairs though. I think the best solution is to start using the cardio glide first. Might try 5-10 minutes and see how things feel. I already walked 30 minutes today, no knee supports. But still going slow. My ligaments still feel like they’re acclimating to the rehab.

Actually I better stick to as is. My calves will need some massaging with the massage gun. Feels like they need some work. That also tells me I really need to focus on hamstrings, they may be a weakness. I haven’t been doing calves yet but I’ve been doing standing hamstring curls. Yet my upper calves are sore.

So I may have found one of my weak links, my hammies. I don’t have equipment at home to train them. So I guess I’ll be working on stability ball hamstring curls now. I’ve been wanting to add glute bridges in too, I guess I might have to.

End of night:

It seems there’s a learning curve on exercises you’ve never done. I have some tweaks to try. Flexing my tibs to deactivate my calf muscles on the standing hamstring curls, all hamstring curls actually. It was actually first day of standing hamstring curls. I’ve just always had in mind since Jr. high, my cousin’s dad had a bench and hamstring curl bench in his basement. Me and my cousin used to work out there and he said his dad said if you do hamstring curls your calves will get big.

If I could go back and retrain, I’d do things way different now. I’d hit more of the standing hip machine and hyperextensions for the back. Back then it was still more of a bodybuilding style training. Kettlebells hadn’t even come on the scene yet. There wasn’t all this athletic focus and training available yet before social media. I probably would have been better served doing basic compound lifts, and doing sprints and jumping rope, and calisthenics.

[ABC333]

Day 10: No listening.

I did 2 rounds of the beginner FT set before bed. Back felt good. So next week I’ll officially be starting over on FT from beginner to advanced which takes 6 weeks.

Still working through some feelings at times, but also feeling the LBFH today. It’s just a winning combo of LBFH and DRLD in my custom. In previous cycles this stuff would always make me want to be on Heartsong. But I didn’t have any desire to be on Heartsong this time. Just working through it.

I got some clarity on my knees. Right knee feeling normal today. Left knee some pain on the interior lateral side. It’s not painful as in injury painful, I wouldn’t say it’s super serious. Possible strain. So I’ll need to focus on adductors abductors in addition to the other stuff I’m doing. I’m doing some research for exercises for that kind of knee issue. Something I’ve been procrastinating on is self massage. So I’ll be doing that too.

It looks like basically I’ve been doing the right knee exercises. Just need to start working on those step downs again. And I’ll have to add the calves back in. So I should start the basic knees over toes exercises again.

Another cool thing that’s been happening is my intuition is there and seems to be coming back again. But it’s not like I know that I know, it’s more that after the fact I get confirmations. So I can practice awareness and trusting my thinking again. Like those nudges to do something or whatever. Either way I’ll get feedback and learn to fine tune things.

I’m definitely feeling more on the up and up today. I’m still confident my knees will just take time and proper training to get back to being pain and injury free. Still have that limit falling away of wanting to do too much. In many areas of my life I wanted to do too much. So it lead to things like overwhelm, inaction, and burnout.

Since I feel like I don’t have a choice at least with bringing my body back in shape. I have to be much more mindful, and slow down, focus on proper mechanics and listen to my body. So naturally, that means I have to tighten up my plan. Just do what’s necessary and not even concern myself with what lies ahead. I used to rush through mobility and my exercises so I could fit everything in. But that’s definitely not necessary.

Just ran to the store. Wasn’t clicking with people today. A little anxious. I’m more in the mood to get to my workout now. But now my humor and creativity is coming back since I’m procrastinating the workout. So work out time, lol.

Evening:

My libido kicked in for the past couple hours. In the past it would get me wanting to be on a seduction title, not this time.

My knee pain is gone. I decided to try some knees over toes exercises. Just greatly modified with reduced range of motion for 25 reps each. There’s a single leg step down movement. I just did it on flat ground with both legs together instead of single leg, with a small range of motion for slow reps. Then there’s a knees over toes lunge. I sat on my exercise ball and used both legs instead. I could still get that kind of range of motion of the thighs touching the calves, but really small range of motion for 25 reps. No more knee pain. I’ll still do the other stuff since I’m not doing full range of motion squats or lunges yet.

My love of exercise has really come back. I think before I got set back I was just trying to do too much. Now I’m more focused and moving in the right direction again. I can see results and feel them. I’m probably getting more benefit slowing down and being more mindful as well. Really mastering movements.

[ABC333]

Day 11: 30 seconds Paragon. 5 mins LBFH/DRLD custom

I’m up late so I haven’t slept yet. I decided to do my pushups and pullups before bed. Maybe I’ll need to do those before work instead. I also did my stretching after work. Not a big deal being up late, but I like waking up earlier in the day.

The wall pushups actually had my triceps on fire today. My biceps are feeling it too, and it turns out it is from the standing pulls, whatever they’re called. So maybe I won’t progress as fast as I thought. I’ll have to build endurance, to be able to hit the progression standards. I think the current plan is going to build more of a swimmer’s body. Which is fine, I don’t want to add muscle and weight. I always want to get back to strength training but I know it takes more recovery, and so I like being strong but I never found the balance to also maintain the other aspects of fitness that I wanted to.

I’ll probably have more endurance than I ever have this summer though. So I’ll get a new experience of what that’s like. It’ll be good because I think it’ll really help get my elbows in knees back to being able to do kettlebell workouts. Fixing those weak points right now.

I think I’m on the right track though, I would like to do boxing training. That’s definitely more endurance and also speed and explosive stuff.

Afternoon: I’m feeling like I want to nap but I lay down and nope that’s not what I want to do. Then I remembered I was up late and woke up early.

I was just reading through this book, The Energy of Money. I got to the section on Identifying Your Inner Blocks to Progress.

It covers Driven Behavior. And I think that’s what I’ve experienced as far as doing too much. Like whether it’s learning to play guitar or whatever. I used to have a block that kept me thinking I needed to do too much. When getting more simple is the ticket.

"In the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche writes that our driven behavior is a type of active laziness that “consists of cramming our lives with compulsory activity, so that there is no time at all to confront the real issues. Our lives seem to live us, to possess their own bizarre momentum, to carry us away. In the end we feel we have no choice or control over them.”

" Your experience of an abundant life is the sum of your authentic choices minus the sum of your driven behavior. "

Self Note: Next cycle is 6 Paragon and 4 LBFH/DRLD custom.

Kind of considering running Survival Instinct next cycle instead of the custom. I’d like to fast track any healing and health concerns. If a new SI were to drop, definitely would be running that.

[ABC333]

Day 12: No listening.

Sometimes when I go to bed and I know sleep isn’t gonna happen very easily. I sometimes will just start releasing/letting go instead. I figure it’s a better use of my time. Last night was one of those nights. I don’t know how long it was but maybe 30mins to an hour. I had like this break through. I was releasing on self love. Now it’s like it’s there and I don’t have to maintain it. Just another little uplevel.

But I woke up tired, still tired and releasing isn’t going so great. It’s probably a better day for meditation. I probably didn’t get as much sleep as I like. But I didn’t keep track of how long I slept. It was so cold last night too, I think I got a headache from that but it didn’t bother me. I feel like napping today. But that’s not happening. I’d say maybe the state akin to sleep work would be better for me today. Though just for rest benefits since I haven’t mastered holding in mind or visualizing what I want. I’d say I have to probably do more releasing work on what do I want to have, be or do? And get clear.

I have some pre-workout samples and this one always gets high praise. So I was planning to try it today, perfect day for it. I looked at the ingredients, 350 mg of caffeine. So I said nevermind. I’ll take the 200mg pre-workout instead. I’ve never felt like I want to workout on 350mg caffeine. In fact I don’t wanna work out on that until it wears off a little. lol.

This book The Energy of Money is soo good. I read some more on the chapter of Driven Behavior, and flipped ahead to see what’s coming. For what ever reason it’s just clicking. Really good stuff. It’s more about living your Life’s Intentions and Goals and the removing blocks to that section is great. I will have to revisit it when I get to the wealth titles for sure. But I plan on going through it multiple times to let it really sink in.

I also like how as we grow, we can revisit books, movies, people, whatever. And find different layers to it. Like when we remove some of our baggage it can be a whole new experience. The first time you go through something you can be so sure it’s this, and then you go through it after some growth and expansion and it’s like wow, I really was seeing it through my own filters at that time.

End of night:

Well after the pre-workout I felt a whole lot better. I was even feeling grounded through most of the evening. Then I drove to the gas station to pick something up after dinner. A super slow car was ahead of me and anger came up. But it passed after a few minutes, forgot about it. Then sometime later when it was time to go to work I was in my feels again.

That little breakthrough I had last night brought me more conscious, more light. Thus now I can see more in the shadows. Like I got a higher powered bulb in my flashlight.

I got to work and at one of the places beside my building. These two guys were taking trash out. I dunno how but like sometimes you can just tell what kind of people they are. I wasn’t trying to judge just mind my own business as usual. But of course one of them was the hyena type. I swear these guys are out there who are like cartoon characters. I call them the criminal types. Certainly not criminal masterminds, more of the shit head variety. Of course they’ll laugh at you and talk about you, that kind of nonsense.

Then I got to the door and the lock has always been tough. They even changed it once and I got a new key. Still gotta force the key in. Well, my key got stuck so I had to stand out there longer than I would have liked. So I left the key in the door, got my equipment and stuff in the door. Got set up and came back so I could work with it without an audience. I did get the key out.

I’m definitely thinking to change gears back to the Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom. It has more of an edge to it but it’s probably going to work with Paragon quite well. I’ve got like code of loyalty, and the modules to keep that unwanted attention away. I hadn’t encountered that in quite some time.

It got me thinking, that my ideal stack is probably Primal, Chosen, I haven’t settled on that third title yet. I think I’d like to try Limitless in that third slot. The Will To Power would also be a candidate over Chosen.

I also had an idea that maybe I could use that custom module about using all energy. I forget the name. But being a bit of a sensitive, and intuitive type, I’d like to at least use that energy to stay focused instead of it almost like being used by it. Sometimes especially with the shitty types it’s almost like I mirror it back, but that’s not something I like. I haven’t gotten it to serve me in a helpful way that I’ve seen. Just makes me stay in solitude/hermit mode. So I could also look at Negative Energy Transmutation module. SI/Spartan custom also has eventide, I like the idea of that module. Kind of like keeping secrecy/silence from kind of a spiritual standpoint.

But I also have eye of the storm, foundation, and safety net in the LBFH/DRLD custom. So that should help me wipe out that kind of problem in time.

I think the Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom kind of plays on the same themes, just with that harder edge.

The pushups and pullups are already giving me that someone who works out look, in the upper body. Knees were back to normal, I wasn’t worried about them at all. I still don’t do the pivot and twisting like I tend to do. But I can still do the intuitive movements with my hands and arms. Like dropping things switching hands, catching things and I couldn’t think about it or teach it. Just like natural stuff that comes from being in the flow. Just things you start doing when you do something for so long you just don’t think about it kind of stuff. Maybe like one of those uhh, stir fry chefs or fancy bar tenders. I couldn’t do that stuff because I’ve never done it, I’m not familiar with their tools.

[ABC333]

Day 13: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD custom. 15 mins Paragon.

Man, sometimes I still really wish I had a seduction title on board. But if I do change titles, I’ll have to go for the SI/Spartan custom again for 4 cycles. Hopefully, that’d have my body back in tip top shape.

My left knee hamstring tendon has a little pain today. So I’m gonna have to research how to work those hamstring tendons. Probably some type of isometric exercises.

My LBFH/DRLD seems to be a 3 cycle title. Last time I used it I only did 3 cycles I think. Now I’m feeling like it’s time to switch it out after 3 cycles. Maybe it’s that DRLD component.

My new plan is to stop LBFH/DRLD after this cycle. Test out Phoenix for one cycle. I don’t think that’s a long term title either, like DRLD, but great in short spurts. Then after a cycle of Phoenix I’ll be back to my Aegis: Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom. I still haven’t updated the Spartan core because I’m holding out for Survival Instinct updated core.

It looks like the best hamstring exercises are still the ones I haven’t started doing! Glute Bridges and Exercise Ball Hamstring curls.

Evening Update:

Off and on in my feels again. Planning to run Phoenix next cycle at 30 seconds. I’m thinking of it like the janitor. It’s gonna come in and mop things up a bit.

I think I’ll stick with LBFH/DRLD custom. I’ll take the view of when the going gets tough, the tough get going. But it’s more like when the going gets tough, the going gets good. 1 more cycle will give me 4 cycles which is my standard minimum for a title.

I think I might’ve found out what was the real cause of my extra bathroom trips. It might be because I was taking 1 tsp of cream of tartar. I was taking it for the potassium. But I found out I should maybe be taking 1/4 teaspoon a day. The package says 1tsp serving size is 20% rda potassium. So I thought that was fine. But I just learned that cream of tartar is sometimes used as a laxative. So I had some of those types of bowel movements today, so I thought I could use the extra potassium so I took another tsp. Then like an hour ago i took another tsp. Luckily I also took baking soda pre workout and I just took some more baking soda an hour ago. After learning that 3 tsp of cream of tartar is a no-no.

I haven’t worked out yet and probably won’t. A little worried and have to watch myself to see if I have any symptoms which would mean I’d need to visit the ER. But I did have a big pizza meal today so I think that will help me out and prevent any problems with too much potassium. I’m also on keto so I don’t really eat much potassium in my diet, that’s also why I was supplementing the cream of tartar.

So now I learned something new.

What I found was that there’s no major toxicity with cream of tartar. But there are 2 cases they list of people using it as a laxative. One was like a 16 year old body builder who took 6 tablespoons to clean himself out. Another was a 32 year old man who took 6 tablespoons to clean himself out. They both spent like a day in the hospital and were fine after. Just needed IV’s and stuff.

So I’m thinking I’ll be fine, just a little scare and a wake up call to be more careful. I also have had high blood pressure in the past so generally always took like 1/4 teaspoon daily of some form of potassium. But that’s all I take it for.

Plus I didn’t take all 3 teaspoons of cream of tartar at once. So that should lower my chances of having to deal with a hospital visit. And so far I haven’t had anymore of the laxative effects either. I also had some brewer’s yeast earlier and got some fiber in too. I decided to do my mobility anyway. It’ll keep my mind busy rather than worrying.

[ABC333]

Day 14: no listening.

Before bed is was scrilling one of my social media feeds. Somebody was raving about this mineral supplement. Its from grass fed whey. So I look at the ingredients and it has 1000mg potassium. Which is 20% of your daily potassium, among other minerals in one scoop. They said they feel so good after taking it.

So for me I think it was safe to get 20% potassium daily just the form wasnt so great. 1 teaspoon of cream of tartar may give the laxative effect.

Have to split that up i to 1/4 tsp doses split up.

Still slightly in my feels but feeling more like it’s just temporary and part of the growth. This stuff still seems to be around the dating relationships theme. Probably the love modules and love without attachment still going deep.

I also see a few woman I really liked on social media. I could just tell they were gonna get with the wrong men. Now they’re both complaining about cheaters and liars, lol. So it’s still tracking that generally speaking, women are gonna go for the liars and cheaters.

So even if you’re not a liar or cheater you want to add more of that i to your personality if you want to get more woman. Simply playing the numbers game. I also do think sub club titles are great for improving your vibe to where you have the right vibe and you can still be more you.

I’m still holding on to the idea that live without attachment is the ticket. Like how they say when you don’t care, you get everything you want. Just kind of tricky to find that sweet spot.

I decided to do the knees over toes program last night. Tibs, calves then my regressed two legged versions of the single leg exercises. For the step downs i chose basically quarter squats. I did 11 back the left leg hamstring tendon wasnt happy. Had to stop. Then I did my two legged ball sitting flex range kind of rock backs. Hit 50 slow reps.

Today I’m going to add the glute bridges in after my FT sets.

So I think I got a good self entertaining vetting question to ask women. Have you ever been cheated on, or have you ever dated a liar or cheater? If she has I’ll just tell her it probably isn’t going to work with me. Because you have a track record, that’s what you respond to, even if you say you’ve changed and you don’t like it. I’m not a liar or cheater. You’re probably going to maybe cheat on me, or dump me, or get bored and cause unnecessary, at least to me, drama. And so for me I’m not interested in any of that. So I’m going to have to pass.

I decided to experiment with laying on the solid ground floor after workouts for time. On the days I don’t do the self traction unit. I heard someone say that it’s good to lay and sit on the floor. You might even get cracks in your back just laying on the floor. Well, I didn’t get cracks. After about three minutes I got TRE shakes in my legs for the rest of the 5 minutes. So it’ll be something I’ll continue doing. At the very least it seems to be helping release any physical tensions.

I sent this vid to the guy I was talking to. A bit complainy kind of guy. Well I sent him a video of this chick who got mentored by a millionaire. She talks about intuition and how it’s more important to build that self awareness to be able to listen to it. Rather than rely on the logical mind, since she claims that our logical minds are programmed to fail. It sounds to me like she’s describing that driven type behavior. Like I should do this or that and being busy, rather than doing the thing that is actually going to be most beneficial.

Anyway, come to find out that I found out that some people just like complaining. Of course most people may not agree with our worldviews. No matter what it is someone hears it from their perspective, so they’ll find an argument immediately. So I got to remember that. And remembered that yea, people like where they’re at even if they complain that they don’t. Then I came up this thing that went, the people who actually do their inner work tend to lose their friends. It’s actually pretty common from my experience and hearing others talk about it. Also that the doers are doing, and the non-doers are just talking shit. But it’s kind of like, everybody’s still doing what they love in a way. So it just keeps me on track because yea, what do I want? That’s what I can do something about. Not changing everyone else.

End of night:

First half of work was fine. I was just listening to my audiobook. Still hearing new things after 13 listens. I noticed last week that my mind would not consciously listen to things I’d already heard, and would bring me back to consciously listening to the parts I hadn’t really heard yet.

So I was hearing some new things and then I started thinking. The gears started turning, and I felt like I was getting insight. Then I realized that too, could possibly become an addiction. So I kind of dropped it. And then I wasn’t so much in the flow, but things went well anyway. Like I was more hoping to get done early but it’s not a big deal. I gotta work again tomorrow and that’s my longest day. So I still have moments of just being present without the static. But I did feel like any bout of recon had been handled. Until the next one, lol.

Feeling back to normal at work. I just don’t push it at work and can still move at the pace I need to.

I’m thinking as the weeks go on my workouts are going to be a lot tougher. My arms are looking bigger already, but I’m more excited that they’re toning up and I’m getting more of that definition in my muscles.

Between FT and progressing the pushups and pullups following the Convict Conditioning Programs, in 6 weeks that’s gonna be wild. I’m guessing I’ll be in as good of shape as I’ve ever been. Probably will be looking my best as well. But I think after 6 weeks I will definitely cut back the FT again. I’m hoping by then I’ll also be doing the full knees over toes basic exercises without regressions. Just could be really tough in about a month. If anything I’d slow down on the pushups and pullups to finish out the FT program.

[ABC333]

Day 15: 30 seconds Paragon, 5 mins LBFH/DRLD custom.

Since before bed last night, I’m in the feels about the ex again. lol. This am I’m once again thinking that a cycle with Phoenix is in order. I’m trying to power through with LBFH/DRLD custom. Because DRLD people report a sense of power, while Phoenix may have me soaking wet at times, but it’s worth it. I’ve already been on the custom for 3 cycles, I’ve never done Phoenix, so there’s that unknown factor. Could it be just what I need?

I think I will still aim to power through for 4 cycles of the custom. Then 1 cycle of Phoenix rebirth. Then back to Survival Instinct/Spartan, when my workouts will be most challenging.

Although if i look at it that way, I’d want to skip Phoenix and go straight to SI/Spartan custom. So, perhaps a 3 title stack with Phoenix. I might really want that boost of the updated Spartan store title during my Phoenix cycle. Phoenix, I’m anticipating to be challenging so I plan on only 30 seconds of it every other listening day.

I just saw a guy interview the solidcore lady in the street. She said she had haters but she doesn’t.care what other people think because those doing all that talking are the ones sitting on the sidelines. She also said her number one book that she reads every few months is How to Win Friends and Influence People. She sold her shares for $90 million, her shares of SolidCore.

The 5 mins of LBFH/DRLD custom seems to have pulled me back out of the rut again. Song of Joying it now.

I just got out of the shower and am really impressed with how my body is developing. I can’t wait for summer time. I wasn’t expecting much since I’m basically rebuilding my body from the ground up. The focus isn’t aesthetics but the wall pushups and standing pulls are really developing my upper body. I guess high reps was just what my body needed.

Evening update:

Work was okay. No worries about my knees or back. The last hour was a little bit of a grind. I attribute that to staying up really late again last night.

I know there’ll be a few grinding work days ahead once my workout volume increases. But it’ll make my work easier once I get through it. Overall a pretty good day, nothing much on my mind. It’s all just flowing like the clouds in the sky. Nothing really sticky.

End of night:

I was so tired after work, planned on going to bed early. But I did do my knees and pushups and pulls today. Everything felt good. I might just take things slow with the pushes and pulls. My pulls feel ready to add another set, but FT training is my priority starting tomorrow.

It’s also a form of mental training. With the pushes and pulls I need to remain mindful, present as I remember to count my reps. Counting to 50 and forgetting where you’re at a long the way, well it’s not ideal.

No knee pains at all today with any of my exercises. I hit all my reps there. My calves only needed one workout to bounce back to my old numbers. I think I’m not going to add weights either yet. FT week three is so tough, at least every other time I’ve gotten there. It requires mental toughness for sure. Take things slow but stay consistent is the name of the game for me.

Also I’m ending the night focused on my goals, not anything do with other people. I like that. I claim to not like drama yet, I’ve gotten caught up in it. My recon usually is about old situations with people, lol.

[ABC333]

Day 16: No listening.

I was going through my insta feed, looking at videos. Then I saw one of the fit chicks posting a pic of the cardio machines at the gym. It just got my juices going, like I just love working out. But rather than get up and do my walk, I just scrolled some more. Watched a vid for a couple minutes, and then started to scroll and said nope. And I got into action. Got up put my sweats and shoes on. Make this quick post and am gonna do my walk now.

So I think that’s one of those tricks. You feel the urge to do something, workout, whatever, so you just get up right then and get moving. For me it would be more busyholism, like workaholism. Just getting overwhelmed, thinking it’s everything or nothing. But after years of that, that’s just a limit and a blocker. The trick like they say is do the things now on your list. Most important at the top and work your way way down. Who cares if you don’t do the whole list, those most important things got done. For me it’s working out and taking care of my body since it’s a day off.

I’m almost jogging now. Just feels good man. Here’s how my 30 minute first walk of the day goes. I walk backwards for 10 minutes. I then walk laterally for ten minutes. I have a nice little area where I can get some steps in and then I gotta turn around and walk the other way. Then I walk normally for 10 minutes. It gets blood flow into the knees. Then I work those muscles of the inner and outer thighs. Then just normal walk. That also keeps it from getting boring.

I tried to talk to the family person who I’ve had hassles with in the past. Of course I wish she’d read How to Win Friends and Influence People. It seems like that would have helped me get along with people better in the world. I just tried to talk to her, small talk. And I guess she wasn’t in the mood to talk and turns back on her book with a kind of angry look on her face. ahahaha.

But I wasn’t upset, it was like, damn, maybe focusing on my goals really is the best thing. I mean I do like people, but there’s a lot of that around. People are in their own worlds anyway. I think that’s where the problem of me existing came about.

Like when kids are just kids but maybe the adults have their own stresses and worries and they don’t know how to deal with that besides take it out on the kids or tell them to be quiet and all that. Like other times just being me and minding my own business, say when I’ve had to work around people, not interact. Yet, they’d come off as they had a problem with me just existing.

Like, damn. I think a true educational system would be a lot different. We’d be required to read How To Win Friends And Influence people. Harmony would be high on priorities instead of the this group and that group and everybody against everybody kind of royal rumble it can seem like.

Either way I got laundry in. Gotta finish my workout and do some cleaning. Reading, relaxing, etc. So I’ve definitely got things to do anyway. lol.

Also a reminder, that even though I wasn’t talking about myself I gotta be better at talking what other people are interested in. So that might mean asking questions, but when someone is in their own world they may not want any interaction.

Oh I remember, I said no mail or paper today. Because it’s a holiday. The person said there won’t be any mail today because it’s a holiday. But they said it with certainty, and so it comes off as making me wrong. When the How to win friends way, might be to just agree with the statement. But if they’re cranky I guess it doesn’t matter, lol. That’s how it goes though, they’re more than happy to make me seem wrong even if they agree. But if I would speak that then I’m really wrong, ahahaha.

That’s also covered in the book. I gotta master it though. Haven’t had the insights yet. It’s that it was like a boss or something, and instead of using absolutes, you use softeners. The examples are old fashioned but instead of like saying certainly, absolutely, coming off as it is this way and that’s all there is too it. It’s more like approaching with the well I could be wrong, or it appears to me, at least in the moment, that…

Maybe there is no better way to communicate with some people though. It’s more about my own emotional mastery. Understanding that even though people are absolutely certain and everyone else is wrong, I can still get what I want and somehow get them happy to oblige. I think some of it really more applies to business interactions, rather than social interaction. It still seems that some people we just gotta minimize our time and interaction with. Rather than win people over who tend to drain us, we just refocus on our goals and priorities. We can still be personable with them but just keep it to a minimum because there’s no real benefit to us continuing to leak our energy by interacting with certain people.

Evening Updates:

Now I’m seriously mulling over changing my custom for Primal. I’ll keep Paragon all year, of course. Since things are going really well as far as bringing my body back into tippy top shape, I’m hearing the call to return to Primal.

For a summer stack, to me, one of the most appropriate titles would be some social/status title. Since I’m much more likely to be around more people in the summer. I would feel much more confident with a title such as Primal in the mix. It also doubles as potential seduction title, which tends to be also call to me at times.

Primal is said to have carry over to areas such as business. Die to the attributes it helps one develop and bring about. So I just might get back to Primal for the summer.

There’s this woman I used to be really into. Since she got a man and posted him on her socials. I lost my attraction for her. Every time I see her I’m just struck by how obvious it is to me, that all that magic and attraction that seemed to be there wasn’t her, it was me.

I’ll do one more cycle of LBFH/DRLD custom to make it 4 cycles. Then I’m going to ride out the whole summer on Primal. I think it’ll be great since I’m on this How To Win Friends and Influence People kick. Plus seduction, plus inner game. plus plus plus.

I gotta put the FT beginner official start at next week. I’m not quite there to 3 sets. I’m focusing on rep quality rather than trying to rush through the program as written. That’s the mistake I’ve made in the past. If if takes me 12 weeks to make it through, I’m okay with that.

Some of these programs, not everybody can do the beginner workout right off the bat. This program the beginner series calls for 3 sets. Well 2 sets is challenging to me yet. So I’m gonna give it one more week to see if officially reach beginner status next week.

Assertiveness, to me, seems like it’s a bit of a shield. That I’m not trying to be mean or overbearing. But I’m going to stay strong in myself. That I’m not going to be getting my feelings hurt or made to feel less than. In the past I’d just bounce back and going on trying to stay that nice, loving kind of vibe. I can go back to that with the right people or when I’m alone, but if I have to be assertive just due to other people’s nature, that’s cool too.

End of night:

I gotta say this time with LBFH/DRLD seems so long. With pretty much all of my other titles the cycles seemed to go by so fast. At least from what I remember. The first cycle or two went fast as usual, but this third one seems really long.

I’m almost wondering if I should just switch gears for a month with any other title.

I’m thinking a cycle of the new Genesis: The Art of Happiness and Joy just might be in order.

When that new Genesis Happiness and Joy title came out, I was like that’s great. I just thought I’d never have a use for it with LBFH and Love Bomb. But it seems like the perfect title for a one cycle “vacation.”

[ABC333]

Day 17: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD, 15 mins Paragon.

I’m curious to find out if my LBFH/DRLD custom loops will still be a mood booster as I finish out the cycle.

Ending this cycle feeling like things are a bit of a grind.

I guess I could also chalk that up to staying up later a few times a week.

Just getting more contrast at times, I suppose.

I do enjoy when the laughter type scripting kicks in. I find myself laughing out loud at funny stuff, at least a few times a day.

Genesis the art of happiness title will be lighter than my custom. But I’ll still get all my favorite parts.

I’m definitely still on that track of switching out the custom for one cycle before I restart the Primal path.

I got a 15 day sample of this joint supplement that comes with a cream too. The cream is just menthol, but it also has creatine in it, lol. My knees were a little sore today so instead of just letting it be, I put some cream on. I think it helps, I mean that’s what it’s for. I haven’t found a joint supplement that I feel makes a difference yet. So I might try this for 2 months, that’s what I like to give a supplement before I decide if it’s worth it or not. I also have gone a few days without my knee supports. I wear the straps to work but that’s about it lately.

Okay, so that blows me mind. This joint supplement is some special creatine. kre-celazine. It says it’s kre-alkalyn creatine bonded with fatty acids, and that’s all it is! Maybe I won’t buy it. I take 10 g regular old creatine already and krill oil, they’re just not bonded together.

I woke up early today because I had to keep an appointment. Now I’m having a low energy day. But overall I think LBFH/DRLD custom helps smooth things out. I’m still at 5 mins listening time and will finish out the cycle at 5 mins. I’ve had satisfactory results at this listening time. I started at 30 seconds for a cycle. Then I went to 3, now I’m at 5. Had results from all 3 listening times.

Feeling a little anxious, fear. Side effect of lacking sleep. Thinking about the Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom again. I saw some old not foes, but I’d put them in that category. I’m not the guy to talk about people or try and start trouble. These are some of those types who’ve seen me as the problem. Never said a thing to them or about them. But luckily they are not in my physical life anymore. Just the types I keep away from because there’s no place for them in my life.

I think Genesis The Art of Happiness will be really good for me. I’m looking forward to trying out that new title. It will just build on whatever growth has come about from LBFH/DRLD custom.

Then Primal will have me nice and grounded and not worried about rejection.

Did the knee workout and got really locked in. I like that. I’d like to carry that over to all areas of my life. The ability to be free from distractions in all situations. That’s in Aegis: Survival Instinct. I guess it’s possible I can call upon those attributes as I need them, being that I spent 12 cycles with that custom. Though, over a year ago.

End of night:

I have some more energy this evening. So maybe my body finally got the increased energy from my working out. I even forgot to take my small caffeine booster this evening.

I’m thinking I might just skip over Genesis The Art of Happiness and Joy, and go straight into Primal, next cycle.

If I really wanted to add something I could add in that third title at some point.

I’m feeling maybe a testosterone boost or something, lol. So I’m feeling ready for the masculinity aspect to be turned up again. Also feeling good at times, so I’d like to balance that feeling good and happiness with Primal. I like feeling good but in the past it doesn’t always come off as something people respect or even like, sadly. But I’m usually in hermit mode anyway.

I think I can say I’m really over whatever recon I was in. That first round was maybe just cognitive dissonance. Then tonight when some anxiety and old fear came up. It pretty much washed right through. I did my workout and I think that’s a big help, having a physical exercise regimen. The spiritual and/or awakened types, now they make a difference there. Anyway not to get off on a tangent, they say that a physical exercise routine will help keep you grounded in physical reality. You won’t get so carried away in the sort of ether or those lost in the cloud type spaces.

Now I’m feeling ready for another cycle with LBFH/DRLD custom. I feel good. But not overly joyous or elated. I’d say this is what I think normal should feel like. Sort of smooth sailing. I’m hoping this is a new baseline because I like it. No wanting or needing anything, yet doing what I need to do.

I had everything done and so I had like 2 hours before work. Time seemed to slow down but I realized that wasn’t even a problem. It’s nice to have things done and then time for nothing. When in the past it’s been putting things off and then not having enough time to do them. And no time for just relaxing because I knew I had things I wanted to get done.

Okay, now that I’m home and settling… I seem to have some desire for a friend or friends to just share with. Not necessarily a woman, but hey if I meet the right woman that’d be cool with me.

I did possibly have some sexual chemistry with this cashier lady. She’s new and I’ve only seen her once. It’s so cold that I wear my visor trapper hat. It takes away from eye contact but it’s not my priority when it’s cold anyway. But the first time I saw her I didn’t really see her, I just liked her vibes. Like a submissive good woman. Tonight she was working and I thought about small talking but I didn’t. I stopped myself from being my old nice guy self. Just kept it shut. Anyway she was grabbing something for me and she dropped it and a memory flashed in my mind. This woman I used to work with who was hot and we were both into each other. But she was married, one of those military marriages and being chivalrous I wasn’t going to mess with anyone’s woman. She left the state soon after because her husband was deploying. They got divorced not too long after. She came back to the job in a different department and acted like she didn’t know me for awhile. So it never happened.

Anyway, this woman dropped something. And it reminded me of that old situation where we knew we both liked each other and we were passing, she was on a different shift. She was coming and I was leaving and she got all droppy. Like dropping things and stuff, lol. So it reminded me of that. But I think this woman might be slightly older, and she’s like a local you might think conservative woman or something. Like not a typical hot chick but there’s still possibly some mutual chemistry. I just think it’s kinda funny. Not my normal type but vibe wise it’s like yea, I would be lots of fun.

To me that was kind of a Primal moment, the new situation. It was like oh yea, I’ve been here before. Then I just got relaxed and grounded instead of excited in anticipation. lol.

[ABC333]

Day 18: No listening.

I’m still back to really liking the LBFH/DRLD custom. I got one more cycle in me until it’s time to switch gears again.

I was looking in the mirror before work yesterday. I’m looking more muscular. I just have the body type that puts on mass easily. I was getting excited that I was gonna trim down and get this more dense muscle look. So I’m looking more spartan than a swimmer. I would still choose Spartan Apex over Legacy of Spartan if I went that route.

I think last night I did break free to experiencing more of my authentic self, some of that Dragon Reborn Limit Destroyer action.

Reading through the DRLD description now has me appreciating the LBFH/DRLD custom and even feeling good that I could take it to 6 cycles. I guess maybe I won’t plan so far ahead, when I say I’m with this title for the rest of the year that kind of kicks in grind mode at times. But when I consider how I’ve grown and progressed, and the challenges to overcome, staying with it just makes sense too.

I will test out 7 minutes next listen of LBFH/DRLD custom. I feel like I’ve reached a new plateau, not as in stuck, just a literal new plateau, a place to stand on. A new, higher view.

Yea, now I have some of that wishing I had friends coming up again. It’s better than hard timing over the ex though. I’m now kind of transmuting it into fuel to get into action if anything. Like workout is the first thing I wanna do instead of sit here in the feelings, I want to put it in action to something that helps me move forward with my goals, big or small.

Maybe finally unlocked that transmutation aspect in DRLD.

Lol yea kind of more stuff coming up of me wanting friends. I got a half hour to workout yet so I’m gonna have to do some letting go practice in the meantime. I don’t want to add anymore titles right now, but now considering sneaking in just a drop of Inner Circle.

2 scoops of pre-workout day. I was up late again. Had some gut cleansing effects. From my black walnut wormood tincture and possibly switching back to keto. Pizza on Friday, then I had my normal carb Sunday, and Monday I didn’t know it but I had some meatballs that had a high carb content which probably kept me from keto. So today possible keto flu or just really tired again. That’s one thing that keeps me on keto, I can handle one carb day a week but if I do more my body has to kind of restart over getting back to ketosis. I’ve been thinking about trying a carb breakfast in summer time. I like the idea of a more normal diet in summer and keto for winter.

Evening Update:

Just don’t have the drive today. So I did my 30 minute walk. I’ll do the FT session after dinner and then forearms for the elbow benefits. Then I gotta do the Personal Traction Unit before bed. Kinda have a headache yet. Definitely an off day, I don’t attribute it to recon though. More just a physical recovery day.

Okay so it’s called Personal Traction Assistant. I found the new version, which is standing. I picked up the original kneeling version from local fb marketplace. Was a great deal and now I think it just feels good to stretch out the back and help the nerves and even energy flow. Stamina InLine Traction Control System, if you want to look it up to see what it is. That’s the new standing version which I’ve never tried.

I was also considering that maybe I could change out Paragon after 6 cycles if I really wanted to go for Survival Instinct or Spartan Apex. I plan to run Paragon for a full 12 cycles but now, that seems so long. I think I’ve gotten over the hump with my physical build back plan. I’ve built up enough momentum that I might benefit more from SI or Spartan as the mindset switches from just getting back to normal and pain free, to upping my intensity with my workouts.

I’ve also got a huge appetite today.

End of Night:

Again, I’m thinking next cycle I’ll switch out Paragon for Spartan Apex store title. I just want to experience some of those mental benefits. I’ve been putting that title off since it came out. I have it in my previous custom, it’s just not the updated core yet.

I think it will continue some of the work of Paragon, but more focused on the fitness goals plus the mental boost. I’m just feeling it’s time to shake things up a little. It’ll also be more of that kind of masculine or at least warrior vibe, which I’m looking forward to trying on.

Also Spartan has scripting for strengthening those joints and ligaments which is one of my priorities. I definitely want to improve my walking gait and just get better movement again.

Walked for an hour today since it’s a day off. I wanted to keep my step count the same as my longest work days. Especially since that’s my only cardio besides working for now. I want to be able to walk stairs and hike this summer. I like to be in the outdoors and the terrain is of course not always smooth and you gotta be good with all the variables.

I completed the full 3 rounds of FT beginner sequence. I could still see myself taking 3 weeks per stage instead of the 2. It’s definitely a workout, feels good to break a sweat and be breathing heavy. I also took yesterday off from pushups and pulls. My intercostals, rib muscles were sore. I think it was the broom twists. I found out one of the old school body builders did a bit of a stomach vacuum during them. So I tried that 100 broom twists followed immediately by 100 side bends. I might cut the pushups and pulls to 2 days until I complete the FT program. I will probably appreciate the rest.

[ABC333]

Day 19: 30 seconds Paragon. 7 minutes LBFH/DRLD custom.

Still seem to be a lot more clear. A bit of a good mood. I feel like I unlocked more of my custom finally. Definitely keeping it awhile longer.

I’m still set on Spartan Apex store title for next cycle and stopping Paragon. I just feel like heading into spring and summer Spartan is the winner since I won’t be doing Primal for awhile. More of the masculine/alpha/warrior type vibe and mental benefits that will go beyond just working out. Some have even reported getting in touch with that sense of adventure.

I think a lot of those qualities have been brewing already and that was why I was looking at Primal again. Spartan is just more in line with my personal goals for the spring/summer. I’ll need that increased will power as my workouts get more challenging and I’ll still be getting everything else done.

I do have past evidence that my body can heal. When I was 8th grade I had a knee surgery. No ligament damage. It was reconstructive. I bought this jump higher program from a magazine ad.

Come to find out years later that many others also had knee damage from that program. It was high rep plyometrics, one of the few resources I had available to me for any kind of athletic training. I wish I had known better. The reps should have been way lower. I also should have built my base with squats and lunges instead of favoring the leg press machine. I should have been jumping rope and doing more sprints besides just sports practice.

But I remember the doctor being impressed with how quickly I regained mobility. I didn’t even do the physical therapy either. As I’ve gotten older and occasionally deal with back pain and knee pain, even elbows. I took on the mindset that since I’m older I need to just go for it as far as physical rehab. Now as much as I wanna be doing kettlebells and explosive stuff, I know building that base is the most important thing. I gotta be injury and pain free just for daily life!

I seem to be getting a hold on this “recon” that comes up. The stuff where oh I wish I had friends. But it seems to be my procrastination. My history of friends isn’t that we were working on goals or making progress. It was more we were just, now that I’m older I see it as just wasting time. Nothing wrong with that. It’s just that now as I sit down about to workout and instead of just getting to it, the oh I wish I had friends come up. Well if I had friends I probably wouldn’t be working out or being productive. So to me it seems to be a distraction program.

I have eye of the storm, foundation, and the merger of worlds modules in my lbfh/drld custom. I think that’s letting me see this habit and then it helps me transmute it with action from DRLD.

Also solitude module works in there to get me back on track without friends. Come to think of it, this is probably a recon/healing from Solitude Module as well.

Evening Updates:

When I woke up this morning I had some insight into my people dealings. I don’t remember details. As as the ladies go, I can see that I had too much nice guy nonsense when I actually did talk to the women I liked. So I was doing all the wrong things.

One of the big things was getting attached and being a pursuer. When the hot chicks liked me, I wasn’t actually talking to them or trying to get them to like me. I wasn’t trying to get something from them, because I didn’t want them. I tended to have my eyes on one woman. Now though I won’t waste my time and I certainly learned from it now.

I didn’t have to be a dick. But generally that would have been the simplest solution. Just be a dick with the ones you like. But it’s not even that. I’m just understanding the dynamics better. It was never about being a pick up artist either.

My knees are probably a month out from where I’d like to be. Not a big deal. Just stay consistent and time will pass. Don’t need to overdo anything. I just now realized my elbows have been pretty good too, so just keep doing what I’m doing there. Back is great. Started to do some back bend progressions. Just all standing and am going really slow with that. Progress, nonetheless.

I read through DRLD description again. It’s really a deeper and more profound title than I was assuming. As in the last few days I’m really getting a taste of the negative energy transmutation along with the emotional healing.

I just had some anger come up, but I have self awareness. More consciousness and self awareness and some of the more intense stuff has come up as of late. Nothing major. But anyway, I had some anger come up. So I started walking and then went into my mobility routine and at some point it was just gone. Back to feeling that clarity that I so enjoy and appreciate.

End of Night:

I had one of those moments where I wasn’t thinking about I just did it- after the fact I realized wait I was being a leader. Not of men. Of the woman. One of those situations where I think it sounds like I don’t know about that, that doesn’t sound like it would work.

Say you heard a guy say if you order for a woman at a restaurant, women like that. You know, when you take charge and just have the place and time for the date. It’s not like what you think kind of things. And when it came out for me I just took care of business in the moment and realized that’s exactly what I did.

Also got to work and my mind was silent. I really like that. It wasn’t even the wondering what I forgot or lost kind of things. It’s like you can just choose not to think. So I was just present, just kind of zen doing what I was doing. Then I started listening to my book and of course started thinking again. A few memories came to mind of where I actually did apply the principles from this book.

And I had only read it one time. So it’s just cool to see how you pick things up and your mind can be your ally. You don’t always have to plan things out, if you’re in the flow or just fully present things take care of themselves. Yet I’ve also been listening to this podcast where the guy says you need to have it all planned out, what you’re gonna say, how you’re gonna say it etc.

I don’t know how but I think I more apply that to learning something and then the best moments aren’t planned it just comes out that way. But that’s also the value in planning at least when you’re learning and understanding things. Then you can just be natural in the moment. I think true connection isn’t actually planned and it’s being fully in the moment.

[ABC333]

Day 20: No listening.

Kind of stepping into the unknown by switching to Spartan Apex next cycle. I plan to do 30 seconds.

I guess it’s just the stepping into slightly new territory. I’ve done Spartan Apex in a custom for 12 cycles. This will be my first run with the updated store title.

I’ll only run it for 30 seconds the first cycle. Since I don’t plan on taking an extended washout between titles.

Last night at work I noticed I was willing to hit more of the details. Where near the end I’d just want to get finished up. But if I saw any of those details that I would have previously skipped over I just took care of them. I’m still not pushing it at work but I don’t really need to either.

Afternoons:

I’m still surprised by how good of a workout I can get with wall pushups and standing bodyweight pulls.

My muscles are a bit sore today- from last night’s after work session. I decided to do the intermediate standard for the first time. It’s 25 reps for 2 sets on both exercises. I just did it circuit style no rest. The pace is so slow and that’s what is really working the muscles, and stabilizers, and tendons. I am looking forward to getting back to normal pushups without shoulder pain. So I think this is definitely a good way to build back to that. And I still get a great workout and muscle development.

I was previously just doing 1 set of 50 on each exercises, but decided hey I’ll do this program by the book because I don’t want to short myself. The advanced workout standard is 50 reps for 3 sets, and yea it might take me some time to get there. So it also builds some mental fortitude and mindfulness.

Spartan is going to be the right elixir on this next leg of my fitness journey for sure.

End of Night:

I guess I have a little fear of success, perhaps- coming up around switching over to Spartan Apex. Doing 6 cycles of Paragon simply for the sake of doing 6 cycles doesn’t move me. I’m just feeling that feeling when you face the unknown, even if it’s something you want. It’s that feeling of moving out of my comfort zone.

Seems that any remaining procrastination, knows that it’s on the chopping block. Since I’m going to switch over from Paragon to Spartan Apex.

My calves are sore but it actually feels good today. Not overly sore just enough to know that we’re making progress, and staying consistent but not overdoing it.

Spartan Apex thread hasn’t had much action since the initial spurt. Another title I’m on my own with. As in the past, maybe it’s a good thing. I only have my own experience to rely on.