ABC333 Khan Black

[ABC333]

Day 21: 15 mins of Paragon.

After dealing with pain once again. I’m going to stick with my stack as is. I will just let LBFH/DRLD be the main stage. I’ll drop Paragon to 30 seconds. I’ll also listen to both titles on listening days.

I’m still up. Haven’t slept yet. My back is fine if I lay on my left side. But it does take quite awhile for the tension to drop away. Until then it’s like I have to hold whatever position I’m in because any slight movement gets that spasm and pain. But after I get relaxed and released I feel like I normal, until I try to lay on my back or roll over to my right side. But movement frees up really well, just takes awhile. I dunno why I decided to get up again. I went to the bathroom and am sitting down. I guess it’s the idea that I’m not free to move however I want without pain when I’m in bed. But sitting and standing are fine.

A few weeks ago I also had pain in the right shoulder/same side. It was from I guess tossing and turning in my sleep. Like when you sleep on your neck wrong and your neck is sore the next day. I still haven’t nailed down a cause or a cure yet for this round of pain.Best guess is a strain or pulled muscle. But it only hurts when laying down and there wasn’t any moment where I was like I hurt myself. Still seems like it could be a reaggravated strain from a month ago that hasn’t bothered me much since. Hopefully I don’t have to take days off again. I can work but not sure about exercise yet.

waking up after sleep:

The painful spasms are gone! It was like waking up to a mini miracle. I would rate my pain at zero. There’s some residual ever so slight but as far as painful spasms when I’m laying down, all gone!

I’m still planning to go one more cycle without changing or adding. Just for good measure.

Now if we can just get rid of this week long diarrhea that was happening after every time I eat. We are in business. Last night that was giving signs that that was coming to a close too.

I guess I spoke too soon. There was no pain rolling over onto my back or right side when I woke up. No pain walking. Then I decided to lay in my recliner to listen to my loop of Paragon just now. It seems that may have irritated it again. I was feeling like I could do my workout again. Now, I might have to take it easy for another day. But as far as it being as painful as it was, it’s way down as long as I still don’t lay down I guess.

Went to the store got home. Was walking down stairs and my knee had a lil strain. I went three months without physical setbacks and pains. So hopefully it doesn’t get any worse. I definitely need my body so I can go to work. Luckily it’s a day off so I guess it’s a rest day. I might just go for Spartan Apex, run it 30 seconds with Paragon on at 30 seconds. The most immediate need is looking like physical once again.

Now tonight I’m feeling like I want to meet a special lady. So I guess I moved on from wishing I had friends. This is a bit new. So it’s a nice change of pace. I gotta get my body back in good condition and then see about making money first, those seem like the most practical things. Still some nice progress in my book. I can tell I’m a lot freer at times in terms of myself and people.

Tried to take a nap for about an hour. Sitting up with some pillows for my head, airplane style. In a pretty good mood. I might try to do my Foundation Training later.

Been wearing my knee support all day. No more knee issues. But maybe it was a strain in the tibialis on front of the shin. Now my I’m having a slight pain there this evening. That was the area 3 months ago I had this crazy pain that one time. So maybe we’re still healing that up. I never got back to training the tibs much since then. I’m gonna invest in some calf sleeves for extra support.

End of night:

Back is not ready to get back to Foundation Training. My knees are feeling a little cranky. Was feeling like I had some subconscious releasing again. Maybe I could use a chiropractic adjustment but I don’t have the money for that. Looks like I might be taking a week off exercising. I did walk for 10 mins. I guess I will be doing a lot of conscious releasing the next few days. An excuse for me to start up some sort of mental visualization practice/meditation. Yea definitely a low mood situation considering the circumstances.

I do have this self traction device I picked up on a good deal. I used it two days ago. Went fine. So I’m gonna do that for five minutes then get to bed.

I did 15 minutes because there was no pain. I have no instructions and I think it’s like a 15-20 minute thing. Felt good. When I was done my back where it wasn’t spasming had some new input. So it wasn’t sure it was like i dunno what to do, do we spasm or what? Well it did slightly but I think it’s gonna help. Might be my new pre bed ritual. Kinda like an inversion table but more user friendly. This one you kneel down and let gravity do the work. So it’s more gentle and slow.

[ABC333]

Day 1 of 5: No listening.

I woke up today. Could move around freely. So I took the pillow out from the right side of my back. Laid on my back pain free. Rolled to the right, pain free. Then I got up, stood up. Tried to bend over as if to touch my toes, pain free! That’s what kept me from doing my Foundation Training last night. So now we’re back!

My right shoulder is a little sore today. My knees are feeling fine. I think it might all be connected. The knees, the back, shoulder etc. Foundation Training seems to be the best exercise program for me. I’ve been doing mobility daily no matter what. Also walking. I’m just not sure what else I can do. I’m planning to run through the 6 week Foundation Training program again. It’s tough but I think that’s a good thing. I can only get better. It’s definitely like a full workout for me. I will add side planks and maybe wall sits and quad extensions and work the tibs as accessory work. I think I’m going to add in some isometric exercises for the ankles since I haven’t gotten back to a full knee program. That’s been taking awhile.

The self traction device might be a game changer. I’ll make that a regular part of my routine. Maybe 4-5x a week. I can do that on weekends after work since it’s not energy demanding.

Not quite out of the woodwork. I just now had a little pain the lower back now. Mood is more LBFH tho. I feel optimistic that I’ll get through it once again and get back to being strong and mobile.

Had to do some self adjustments for the sacroiliac, the hips. Now I’m a little sore there. But I think it’s just from the slight adjustments. 2 more days I should be good as new. I’ll just keep doing the self adjustments for the next day or two then get back to Foundation Training. I’m not sure about laying on the ground yet and trying to do anything. I might go hands and knees though, at least get some core work with the crawl planks.

I’m breaking the habit of laying down if I’m not working or exercising. It used to be sitting at work all day was thought to be the cause of my every 3 month chiro visits. Now I think it’s laying down too much. If I’m home and not working out there’s just not much to do and I probably spend too much time scrolling. I was looking forward to Limitless so I could be studying. But I might try to do more of that anyway. I never meditated sitting down or releasing sitting down. So I’ll have to build that habit.

I don’t have comfortable chairs though. I have my computer chair and another office type chair. So I think that’s why I don’t sit. I have an anti-gravity chair that I’d like to use more, just my back doesn’t like it too much right now.

I don’t like sitting all day either. I walked for like 10 minutes today. Had a slight nerve pain in my left hammy so I stopped. I’ll try another 10 minutes soon before work. Plan on popping some tylenol and some pain cream. Feeling kind of like I had a good workout, body kind of sore but I haven’t worked out since Friday. Weekends are my longest work days though so that’s like a workout too. I would love to be able to stretch and do mobility tho.

I’ll have to do every other day on the self traction device. That’s actually kind of a workout on the body.

End of night: work went pretty good. I’ve been waking up like 2 hours later because I stay up later because of the back pain.

So since I didn’t work out today, I took my creatine way later. I took it before work an hour after my last meal of the day. I also took my agmatine sulfate with it. I also remembered that I hadn’t taken my alpha-gpc so I took that too. A couple days ago I was reading on alpha-gpc. Somebody said it didn’t interfere with sleep so I took it tonight. I’m thinking the trick really is to take it right before physical activity. I was focused and dialed in.

More mindful of my body of course. I was able to finish in the same time just not wanting to move like I normally do. And now since I’ve gotten home I feel like it’s bed time.

So I learned something. If I take alpha-gpc anytime other than before physical activity it just seems like a waste. I was able to focus on my audio book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. I still wish it was a book given to us to read way back in school.

They could’ve said this book will take you farther than any other book, just read it and read it again and again. I think had I learned and mastered these principles I would have gone way further in life. I think my friends all would have dropped off anyway, but it wouldn’t matter. I would have had career success and every other kind of success anyway. Maybe it would’ve rubbed off on my friends, and if they’d read it and learned it too, I really see us living in a different world.

It’s also helping me piece together my other favorite books. It’s giving me some format to put in other things I’ve learned as well. I haven’t mastered the material by any means but it’s helping me make sense of other things I’ve studied but never had a plan of implementation for. It’s just a really good framework.

[ABC333]

Day 2 of 5 no listening.

Was up late again making bathroom trips. But I finally nailed it down what was causing this. I’ve been taking this multi-collagen before work. And I hadn’t taken it saturday or sunday so I was fine for two days monday and tuesday. Til after work. So this multi-collagen doesn’t work for me. I also started beef gelatin at the same time but that doesn’t send me to the bathroom. So I’ll stop the multi-collagen immediately.

Woke up no soreness or spasms in the back. Just my hips are sore from the self isometric adjustments yesterday. I got a good crack when I did the twist on a chair and I should be good as new in a day or two.

My knees might be slightly cranky. So I’ll keep wearing the supports.

So I’ve mostly solved the case on my issues. I just need to find some exercises that are gonna keep my knees healthy. May try simple things with ankle weights and isometrics.

I think after I got my back adjusted and did the self traction device the other night, I have some increased energy flow. Like sensations I’d mention if I was still on KB.

I was eating dinner. I realized that oh yea, recovering from pain and injury is energy intensive. No wonder I feel sore and I haven’t actually been working out. I’m still not happy about the setback. I hadn’t gotten to 5 minutes of trampoline hopping yet. But I felt good. I’ll just have to prioritize the core once again, and since I don’t have too much pride anymore, I’ll see what some beginner knee pain exercises are. I want to do more boxing type workouts if anything. I mean I don’t need to increase my vertical jump but I always wanted to.

End of night:

Just did some rehab. I’m kind of making it up as I go. Including some of my mobility that I can do and adding other things. A couple light stretches and I’m going to finish with the self traction device now. I actually feel good after that light work. I also walked 20 minutes.

So if anything it’s just what I need to do to get my body back in shape. It’s also helping me to be mindful, slower movements focusing on movement and rep quality. Not doing anything that causes pain. I think I’ll be back to Foundation Training next week for sure.

[ABC333]

Day 3 of 5 no listening.

My hip is still sore and my mid back. Just lingering soreness from the adjustment and the mid back is from the spasms. I think Monday I’ll be pain free for sure.

My knees don’t like heavy steps. So I have to be more mindful of how I walk. A little more gentle using those muscles for the support and shock absorbtion. I got humbled last night doing my knee pain stuff.

No weights just like quad sets, extending the leg and flexing the quads for time. Some ankle movements and unweighted quad extensions and hamstring curls. But those are exercises I don’t do at all. I can tell they’ll be good because I felt better after them. But I’m not even doing like a million reps. That just shows me those are what I need to work on for now. I even did some standing air pushups! The focus being on the back muscles for the pull, to warm-up and get rid of that shoulder pain from doing pushups. Cranked out a hundred reps of standing twists and side bends. Just to get some core work and blood moving through there. Just slow controlled stuff that I could do every day or do as micro workouts during the day.

I was talking with one of the people I chat with online. But they’re kind of a complainer and one of those who think they need to change the world. But complaining is their action for that. They have a belief and if yours is different well you’re racist of course, lol. I did get mad and shot back at them. But the anger passed quickly. I still need to master How To Win Friends and Influence People. At the same time there are just people we don’t need to have in our lives. The people I let in my life are people I accept unconditionally but it’s rare that that’s extended by others, at least up until now it’s been my experience!

So I think I’m going to let this person drop off my social radar. Luckily I have solitude and I think that’s helping to get me to start focusing on studying more and making good use of my time. I actually kind of prefer solitude. I just saw a post and someone said like it wasn’t fun at first but now they can be social when they want and their solitude keeps them living in a bubble of heaven, lol.

It also makes me wish I had a more right people oriented title in my stack. Like Inner Circle, Heart Song. Even Chosen but I just don’t want to lead people, I’d rather they lead themselves. I do have You Are Not Alone, in my custom. I’m still waiting on those results.

Dragon Reborn Limit Destroyer says it has scripting to help detach and protect your energy from toxic influences and people, and LBFH has a light protection aura. My first custom I had a bunch of those kind of modules in it. I had no friends or close people. I think DRLD/LBFH is the better balance. I still get to see those who appreciate my energy and well I still get to more consciously remove myself from the negative influences and people.

I offered to give my hard copy of How To Win Friends and Influence People book to this person who complains. Haven’t heard back yet, lol. I find that lots of people want to be told what to do, yet they want to tell the world how to live. They could really use some of that Alchemist Singularity and all the great titles at subliminal club, but I also have found that they not open to that either. lol.

I would love to add a 3rd title but I can’t tell I’m slightly reconny at times. So it’s best to stay as is for another cycle and check back in.

The person did not take me up on my offer of giving them my book. They don’t like reading in English. Also will not pry themselves loose from the victim, helpless mentality. But I also realize it may be a time waste on both of us, I cannot solve his problems with the world, and his complaining does not serve me. Other than for entertainment, which doesn’t progress me further in the life I’d like to live.

Now that I’m doing my rehab training. I realized my own mis steps in dealing with other people. I can see his side of the story. A friend I had to move on from because he couldn’t see my point of view. But I can see now that he probably felt the same. That I was complaining. He was telling me the same kinds of things.

Like I should tell them, as in the people who can do something about it. From my point of view I was just confiding in an old friend. But he has his own job and family and yea, we parted ways.

That was also further back in my journey when I was still overcoming things, when I finally realized that waiting on others to change or to see the truth, wasn’t gonna happen. I had to walk away. I didn’t like that, but nowadays I’m okay with it. I think it’s better to be alone without any others input, especially when they don’t have much empathy either. I guess I didn’t understand it because I was struggling with being like others, when I looked around I saw them complaining and gossiping. Yet it didnt’ go over well when I did the same. So I still don’t and stay away from those who do.

End of night:

Lower mood at work. My knees were hurting when I went down the steps today. Felt like tendons. So I worked slow and wasn’t moving like I like to again. But I did get work done without any pain. Being fit and moving well are important to me and was feeling a little disheartened. I was probably also a little lower energy because I did my rehab again. It actually feels like it’s helping.

I’ll just have to keep doing it daily and take it slow. I can lay on my back or roll to my side pain free again. So just a matter of time until I’m back to normal. I don’t know why or how my knee tendons decided to get a little painful same time as my back. 3 months ago was the first time and now once again it’s been both same time. But my rehab routine is helping. I’ll definitely add the ankle weights as I can do more reps. Crazy how the simplest things can be challenging.

[ABC333]

Day 4 of 5 no listening.

Woke up and looked outside and my car has a flat tire. I was feeling pretty good in the inner spaciousness since last night. But I was up almost all night again. Have to run to the bathroom for a few nights really messed with my sleep schedule. So I woke up pretty late today.

So I’ll start my day with some fresh air I guess.

I think I’m gonna stop taking the beef gelatin as well. My bowels haven’t returned to normal yet. So maybe it’s just not for me. That’s the only new thing I’ve added in my diet since this problem started. Never had a problem with marshmallows or gummy snacks. Possibly the large amounts aren’t for me.

I’d like to have some ideas on consciously guiding You Are Not Alone. Still haven’t had results, well that are apparent to me. No new people that I click with. I was looking at some people I used to absolutely love, and there’s just no connection there. They’re in their own worlds. There’s no space. And since I got into some inner space last night and it was so nice. It was these words coming real for me, and I guess maybe I’ll just rededicate to that inner space.

“You will discover that the more you delight in the inner life, the less you feel drawn to external things. In consequence, the mind becomes so well nourished with the right kind of food that at any moment the realization of its identity with the Self may occur.” -Anandamayi Ma

I also did some releasing letting go around self love tonight. I hadn’t done that in awhile. Last night I was doing the self inquiry and was just facing things and that’s how I got into the inner spaciousness. Today it wasn’t clicking again, since I was making extra bathroom visits. So I went to letting go to clear some stuff up again.

[ABC333]

Day 5 of 5 no listening.

Tomorrow is 15 mins Paragon.

It will be cycle 5 of Paragon. Cycle 3 (this round) of LBFH/DRLD custom. Still toying with the idea of 30 seconds AS 30 seconds a week or every listening day.

I woke up from a dream this am. I was in like a jail or something and there were other people. I think we were working on some fear limitations. I mean my unconscious.

AS could get a 30 second slot because I just skimmed over the description again, it says it’s about shattering limits. Since DRLD is in my custom, it might give a little juice to my stack.

I got my plan. It came to me that I may as well stick to my two titles. The change being that I’ll start listening to Paragon for 30 seconds on the same days as LBFH/DRLD custom.

Felt really good at my first job today. My cardio is lacking though. It’s been a week of no cardio and low intensity rehab exercise. When I get back to Foundation Training that actually helps build my stamina up though. I’ve still been walking 20 minutes a day but low intensity.

[ABC333]

Day 1: 15 mins Paragon

Here we go. Next cycle.

I went to bed last night and had some light pain in the back. Nothing like it was to start the week. So I got back up and did the self traction device for 15 mins. No pain this time and felt like my back is really taking to the machine. So I plan to keep using it 3 times a week but it’s possible I’ll need to do it again tonight.

My weekends I do a lot of bending over at work, no pain last night. But still a couple days to be back to normal. My knees didn’t bother me at all either. So the rehab stuff is definitely what I need to be doing 3x a week too. I was walking around as though I was still hurt because I didn’t want to aggravate anything. I’m just taking it really slow. So I could still be where I want to be physically, by the time summer is here.

Feeling the LBFH mood today. The great thing is if I ever get down LBFH always brings me back up.

Cardio is gonna be tricky for a couple weeks I think. So I’m not sure what to do there. Maybe some high rep light weight movements that are more upper body focused. I’d try hitting the bag but my elbows have been slightly sore too. Probably because I haven’t done pushups in a week. Band presses and band rows might work. I can do it at a quicker pace with no impact and keep it light.

After work:

Cardio and Stamina definitely weren’t there today. Work was a grind. Feeling exhausted. I probably should have picked up some coconut water on the way home. Just wanted to get home though.

I might try the wall pushups this week with 5 minutes of my cardio rower machine in between sets this week. See if my knees will tolerate it, well my whole body, lol- or if I should go with the band rows.

Still trying to nail down the culprit that has me visiting the bathroom after I eat. I think it could be this brand of MCT oil I’ve been taking. That’s the last new thing I haven’t stopped yet. Never had a problem with MCT oil but I always stuck with one or two brands. This one was cheaper and more economical I got a big jug that would last who knows 3-6 months. I may have to go back to the old brand. It would be worth it to not be dealing with this issue as well.

Still listening to How To Win Friends and Influence People. My attitude is changing. I just noticed myself after the fact, that I was putting the focus on the other person. Instead of my making it about myself. That’s a better strategy for me than talking about myself and getting some advice or unwanted attitude rammed back down my throat. Instead of being resentful, I just approach it different without even having to strategize. Just a matter of repetition and listening to the book. I like that about repeated listenings with books- it just starts to come out of me naturally rather than me strategizing. Kinda like sub club titles.

Plus I have my journal so that let’s me indulge in my own analysis and interest in my own life.

Another idea, could be the creatine. I’ve always taken the micronized creatine, and lately have been reading on people saying 10 grams a day of creatine monohydrate is the ticket. Well I just started that. I’m suspecting that to be the culprit. I take the mct early in the day. Beef Gelatin, mid day. Before work Collagen Peptides and Creatine Monohydrate-10 g. So that’s why I was up all night and messed up my sleep schedule. Today it seems to have happened once after the creatine and now so far so good. I’ll cut back to 5 grams and see what happens. I’d like to use up the rest of my bag before buying the creatine hcl version again.

I think I’ve got it. That’s what I took today at work when it kicked in again. Halfway through I took creatine and mct oil and some other goodies to get me through the last half of my shift. I can go back to the Creatine HCL version of Creatine. And that means I can still take the beef gelatine and collagen, and MCT oil.

[ABC333]

Day 2: No Listening

I cracked the case on my gastrointestinal issues from the last two weeks. It was the creatine monohydrate- 10 g at once was too much. So far so good on taking 2.5 g every 2 hours. I’ll try for 10g today to find out if my guts will handle it. lol

Well, maybe not. Might have to space out my 2.5 grams even more. Guts feeling a little iffy. In high school, that was the first time I tried creatine. It was called Phosphagen by EAS brand. Never had a problem. Hadn’t taken it again until my 30’s but have always taken creatine HCL since then.

This time I just got the cheap bulk version. It seems to work just not the best on my stomach.

Just did my mobility stuff. I was able to do about 90% of it. I’ll do the FT after dinner.

End of night:

I was able to do 1 round of the beginner FT. I didn’t have pain but my back was hinting at it. So I’ll have to ease in to FT a bit slower than planned. I will try another round tomorrow. The program calls for 3 rounds but it could take up to 3 weeks to get to the real starting point. Once my back is fine with it and also gets reconditioned a bit more.

Walked for 30 minutes. Knees aren’t feeling 100%. I’d say 80%. Mostly pain free. I won’t risk quick movements yet. But I’m able to touch my toes and hold a deep squat for a minute. I’m holding off on doing any deep back bends, but was able to do some cobra press ups. The first exercise of FT has a sort of standing toe touch movement and took a few moments to ease into it. My back wasn’t sure it wanted to do it pain free just yet.

I’ll finish up with the knee rehab exercises and the self traction device.

Back to the creatine situation: I think I have a choice, since splitting my 5g dosage didn’t help. I can probably just take 5g at once and deal with a few bathroom trips. So I might keep taking it in the morning and be done with it by noon. Depending on what I have going on a particular day, until this bag is gone. Bathroom trips were lasting all day with 10g. 5g I think I can deal with.

[ABC333]

Day 3: 30 seconds Paragon, 5 mins LBFH/DRLD custom.

I been waiting for this. I’m gonna do 30 seconds of LBFH/DRLD when I listen to 15 mins Paragon. So I’ll listen to both titles every listening day. I’ll keep doing it like this.

I’m feeling confident in my knees today. Feeling confident in the back. I can roll around and move however I want in bed again, no pain.

I don’t do like a standard squat in daily life much. So I want to do things that are more like how I’d move in daily life.

I’ve just gotta take it slow, I think they say it’s like 4-6 weeks for tendon adaptations. They strengthen slower than muscles.

My sleep schedule is still not back on track. So I haven’t been feeling great today. Staying up like 2 hours later than normal. Feeling groggy. Also since I’m not in the best of moods, just tired, I might just stop the creatine for now. I’m just not enthused about the increased bathroom trips after taking it. I’ll go back to the kind I was taking previously.

I think Solitude Module is working great. I’ve changed my focus to making good use of my alone time, which is basically all the time. I don’t feel bad that the people I was messaging with every day aren’t messaging me back. I realized that it might not be in my best interest to be talking with people who are still in the stuck in the mud kind of mentality. I’m not a counselor or life coach, after all. I also can’t fix their lives for them.

I’m rough drafting a Paragon/Spartan Apex custom. Since I’m going to be on Paragon for a year and I want Spartan in the mix. If I pull the trigger I’d say May I’d have the extra cash.

lol. Welp, it seems the real culprit for the bathroom trips has been MCT oil. I got a gallon of this brand because it was cheap. I just don’t want it to go to waste, but it seems my body is not adjusting to it. I’ll go back to one of my old faithful brands. So I guess I’m taking the creatine today. lol man.

I got a an 11 module custom outlined for Paragon/Spartan Apex. I’d be really excited to start it. Now to let it simmer.

I think just a Paragon custom would be better. Keep it to 3 cores in my stack total. Just nudge it up with a few select modules instead.

Had a little hiccup in my finances. I have to be way more careful in balancing the books.

Feeling under the weather today. Cranky and tired. My mobility workout didn’t help. I haven’t gotten the LBFH boost I was looking forward to. I popped an aspirin, maybe some keto flu. Tomorrow I won’t take the MCT oil. I took the creatine and no extra bathroom trips. It was only after the MCT oil.

That was pretty quick. Took an aspirin before dinner. Then I sat down to watch a tv show. Remembered I had to run to the gas station to pick something up before it closed. So I just got into action and feeling better. Not LBFH good but more normal, and normal is nice when you’ve been feeling bad.

End of night:

Physically I was back to 100% as far as work performance/ability. Knees are still slow going but I was wearing the knee sleeves. I even took 5 more grams of creatine monohydrate before work. No problems. Case closed, I got some bad (for me) mct oil.

I was impressed with how my back has bounced back so quickly. Normally I’d be taking a day off work. But I think it’s been the fact that I’ve kept up with a minimum on the Foundation Training. I’ll just have to do the self isometric adjustments as part of my daily routine too.

I didn’t do dead bugs like I had planned. I just did a recovery/mobility day. Still reconditioning rebuilding the stamina after the week off. Recovery is important so as long as I do 3x a week on the main stuff FT and the knee rehab, and just stick to light activity active rest days in between, that’s the plan.

I was listening to this guy who I think was the head of carnegie institute at one time. He taught classes and started off taking one of the classes. He said there’s a story that Dale Carnegie wanted to add one last principle to How To Win Friends and Influence People, it was if all else fails kick them in the shins. lol. I finally noticed that if I just approach say cashiers with good will, maybe i don’t always get it back. But sometimes I do. Like tonight I went to the grocery store but they were closed, stopped at a gas station I never go to. I didn’t judge the dudes working, they were mopping up and cleaning. I used to do that job too. So it was just understanding the situation and still making sure to be respectful and with good will and I got it back.

[ABC333]

Day 4: no listening.

Feeling a lot better today. I think I’m in light ketosis again after a free day on Sunday. Sleep schedule seems to be just about back on track too.

Knees are feeling normal so far today.

I started working my forearms too, for the elbow benefits mostly.

I’d say my whole body feels back to normal today, finally.

Been playing 639 hz music all day. I wish they had it in EDM version. This isn’t workout music. It’s more like meditation or sleep vibes. I usually play 528 hz electronic music in the background.

I just had to talk with customer service on an order I placed somewhere. Right off the bat my mentality was hey wait, instead of being frustrated I’ll try the How To Win Friends and Influence People way. I felt better about it.

Not sure how they receieved it, lol. But it seems my financial hiccup wasn’t a hiccup at all. I just need to return an item. I thought I made an order where everything was free shipping. Turns out one item was an outrageous shipping and handling fee. So all I’ll need to do is send the item back when it arrives and finances solved.

I used to think of customer service as robotic and tried to talk like they’re trained to. But I never thought that felt good, to be on the receiving end. You know when you know it’s just their job and they don’t have much interest.

Workout went well. No pain. Touching my toes from standing is way easier. That self traction device is responsible for that. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to get that deep.

I tested out some lying pelvic tilts. I plan on doing dead bugs but I figure might as well start more basic and see if my back is okay with it. Well I did five reps focusing on that core contraction when flattening the back to the floor. After 5 reps I got some TRE shakes. So I’ll keep doing that, my body seems to have some stuff to release from that simple movement.

[ABC333]

Day 5: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD custom. 15 mins Paragon.

I’m up early today about my ideal waking time. So I may try and take the hit and just stay up to get the ball rolling on waking up a little earlier.

A cool thing that has been happening the last say, two months. If I’ve been working on an affirmation or goal statement, occasionally my dreams will start to reflect that.

I’m also feeling like the LBFH is kicked in today.

My luck and good fortune seems to be on an upward trajectory again.

For the first time ever, in all the training/exercise videos I’v seen, I saw a video from a phsyio guy about back and knee pain connection. He said if your knees hurt it’s connected to your lumbar. So I think that is relevant to me. Last two bouts of back pain, my knees were hurting with it. He says that’s because of the nerves, and that was what I was thinking too.

So he gives an exercise what you sort of hinge and bend your knees, weight on the heels. Then you’re holding a weight and rounding your back and lowering it. It’s supposed to relieve that nerve stuff causing the knee pain.

This is opposed to FT, where they say their method will make it uncomfortable for you to round your back. But I think rounding is a normal daily movement, and I’m going to incorporate this exercise into my routine. I was doing jefferson curls, and never had a problem, but I also wasn’t using heavy weight. I have not been doing jefferson curls again since the back pain. So I’ll do this exercise instead.

Today I didn’t feel like I needed to wear any knee sleeves just walking around the house. Even tried some light bounding and being light on my feet. No problems. But I won’t incorporate any of that back in the workout just yet.

I dunno man. I’m kinda thinking I need to do a candida cleanse. I’m on keto already so I don’t think that would be an issue. But still seem to be experiencing the extra bathroom trips. So maybe I need to do like 30 days with no carb days at all. Plus I already do most of the things they recommend for candida. If I had insurance I’d go in for a check up. So for now it’ll be extra garlic oil, black seed oil, and oregano oil.

I guess I’ll also start a cleanse with the Now “Green” which is black walnut, wormwood complex, for some cleansing action. Also I gotta pick up some probiotics, L. Rhamnosus.

Tried a new self back pop maneuver. It’s pretty challenging. Where you lay on your stomach bring one leg up like you’re gonna crawl but it’s on the ground yet. Then you raise into a cobra, same arm as the crawl leg u touch that shoulder to the ground with your arm straight. I got a good adjustment on that. I feel like now my back is back to 100%. My balance and stability wasn’t quite at 100%. Yesterday I was walking down the single step in my garage and was a little wobbly yet. Felt like my hip wasn’t quite adjusted and mobile yet. Now I’d say I have my full mobility and agility back.

Still need to keep doing my FT so the body knows it’s safe again. So as far as physically I’m feeling good besides the digestion situation yet. My body is feeling much more lighter and mobile. I’m sticking with FT as the main exercise though.

I also walked for 40 minutes, still feeling good there.

Also I had some more of the ex stuff coming up. Some healing still at work there.

End of night:

Was about to leave for work and had to make a trip to the bathroom. Took some kaopecate and luckily it held.

Was kind of in a bad mood. I don’t know what else I can do at this point. Then my ex was still on my mind again. Low mooding it.

Physically I was still feeling great. I worked up a good sweat. Second time today. So I think my stamina is back. Eventually I just kept listening to my audiobook and working and I felt better. I should have been out of there in normal time. It was messy so despite my fast pace I had to work longer. Would have been a long night if I was still in pain.

Towards the end my right knee was kind of hurting. That’s always been my good one. Had surgery on the other back in 8th grade but never bothered me until my 30’s. So taking care of my knees is one of my main priorities. I’m getting some 7mm knee sleeves and I think those will be a good investment. I have some velcro ones but these ones with the most support just don’t stay up even though they have velcro wraps. I think the 7mm sleeves will stay on no problem. I think that’s part of the reason why my knee was hurting, they kind of bunched up on me and under my pants I can’t really adjust them.

It’s looking like I’ll get a full year on my current stack as is. I just need to let it work and keep doing my part as well. Paragon and LBFH/DRLD custom.

Ending my night with the self-traction session.

[ABC333]

Day 6: No listening.

I finally had a full nights sleep again. I think I got 10 hours in. So much for my plan of waking up early. Got home a little later last night. Got to bed slightly later than I planned. But, I’ll take the good night’s rest.

Knees feeling a little sore I guess. I’d say it’s probably just them adjusting to the new stimulus of the rehab exercises. Building back up. Plus yesterday was my most vigorous day between exercise and work, for the past couple weeks. I broke a sweat twice because I was able to up the intensity finally.

Just took in my first calories of the day. So far my guts seem normal. So I’m crossing my fingers.

So far today, woke up late. So I’m not in the zone yet. Might take it easy on the exercise today. Just do everything a bit slower and mindful.

I’m also feeling like I wish I had some people to talk to. Just good friends. Yesterday I was dialed in, I was reading, exercising. Today is kind of a step back day so far. Like two steps forward, one step back.

No gut rumblings yet. So far so good. I may have actually gotten a stomach bug rather than anything I was ingesting as far as mct oil, creatine etc. But I’m gonna hold off on trying the mct oil again until I’m sure I have no stomach issues.

Yea, emotional healing day.

I’m not confident in my knees like I was yesterday. So definitely a light/easy day. I guess I still haven’t mastered the balance. I can do one intensity the same day every day, or if I do higher intensity that might mean a day or two of lighter/recovery days. Either way is fine I suppose. I just would hope my lighter days I’d have that mental focus to be reading and learning, instead of feeling all the emotions, lol.

I’m more creative than in study mode. It’s like I can come up with jokey product ideas today, maybe the Song of Joy module, and LBFH which has the laughter scripting.

I tried out some conscious love flooding on my knees. They definitely seemed happier after I was finished and walking around. It’s just sending love, many methods. What I do is, could I allow myself to send love to my knees? Would I? When? And after each time I check for any resistance coming up and I just release it and then cycle through as many times as I want. But you could also just stick with that feeling of sending love if you wanted. I just like to release any resistance that comes up so it’s more pure flow.

Zero digestive issues today. So my 3 week whatever seems to be gone.

End of night:

Finished up my FT session. Only did like half my normal workout. I took more of a recovery day. I’ll do the mobility I skipped, tomorrow as warm up before work.

My lower back has some residuals of pain but no real pain. So still not 100% recovered from the last round of back pain. But I do have 100% functionality, just slight hesitation on the standing to touches. Tomorrow I’ll also do my knee exercises in the am because I don’t like to lounge all day and I work in the evening/night. I’ll do some more walking too. I only did 10 mins today.

I’m going to bed early, but I would guess tomorrow I’ll get to bed a little later. Saturdays are usually slightly later bed time since I work a little later.

I’ll start my pushups and pull up progressions tomorrow. Just gonna take it slow. There’s these cool routines from a book called Convict Conditioning. You start at wall pushups and I think the progression is to handstand pushups. I don’t know that I’ll get that far but I could surprise myself, just taking it slow and being consistent.

[ABC333]

Day 7: 30 seconds Paragon, 5 mins LBFH/DRLD custom.

Feeling more like a rest day. I will take a slow walk to get the blood flowing. It’s also very cold in my house. Winter is back for a few more weeks I guess. We just got like 5 inches of snow and now single digit highs F for a week or too, lol.

I’m thinking I want to invest in a new full body pillow or wedge pillow or something. I sleep on my side. I’ve slept on my right side the past few nights, since the pain in my back has gone away. Now I got some pain in the ribs on that side. I think it’s the side sleeping.

I would also like to invest in some sort of red light therapy device. I’m looking at the body wrap types so I can wrap up my knees and even lay it over the ribs or back. I’m not big on the pain creams but if I gotta work I’ll use them. I don’t like to use the pain cream before working out because I would use the pain as a gauge of what movements or ranges of motions to not do at a particular time.

Body saying it’s a rest day. Did a short 15 min walk along with the most basic mobility exercises. I’m actually going to try for a nap now before work.

I finally realized this person I talk to, it’s like talking to my other family member. I have to watch what I say. Even if to me it’s innocent small talk or even humorous. I don’t know how they’re gonna react and then I’m left feeling worse, sorry I tried talking to them. lol. They’re both relatives, not related though, but the same kind of program.

I just always bring up ideas and jokes. And this guy takes it so seriously like he’s an absolute rule stickler and yet every idea is shot down of course. But that’s my fault, I keep bouncing back and brushing it off. Still a bad habit of mine.

Thinking or expecting that others will change if I just be myself, well it’s more the case that the better solution is to find people on my wavelength. People would get the idea that I don’t like people, and I realized the other day that that’s just not true either. I just gotta find those on my wavelength otherwise the drama and argument type of existence is just not for me. So I generally keep to myself and mind my own business. To me it’s just a matter of authenticity, perhaps. Like people talk about wearing masks, and I just don’t. I’m not mean, but that’s not my style. If others do I don’t care, I just would rather keep to myself in those cases.

A little in my feelings again. I was at work too. Work wasn’t a nice day, a little worried about the knees. They weren’t feeling tip top shape again. So I just will keep taking it slow and if it takes 30 days to get back to normal, that’s cool with me. I’m excited to get my new knee sleeves on monday. Hopefully they’re better than what I’ve been using.

I also am pretty sure it’s just limit destroyer going to work. Hence being in my feelings a little more lately.

End of night:

I wore my minimalist knee straps. They’re just basically a strap above the knee and a strap below the knee. I wouldn’t think they would help but they’re my best knee supports I call them. First job today I wore my most supportive and I’m not gonna wear those anymore. I feel more confident with the minimalist straps plus they stay on better anyway.

I had some insights and clarity. I couldn’t or wouldn’t put it into words. The first was just that I gained more consciousness around my ex situation. Read my consciousness rose.

The other was just more of the people and communication. I don’t remember what. I was listening to the chapter in this book, the principle was never tell people they’re wrong. Basically the book is like dating. Do the opposite of what you think you’re supposed to do. Say you’re supposed to argue and fight and throw your opinions in people’s faces, well according to the principles in this book, that is not the best way if you want cooperation and to influence people and leave them feeling good about bringing about your desired outcome. Although being a shithead, seems to be the trick in dating. lol. Disclaimer: I can only go by my own experiences and what works. Being the good guy didn’t cut it.

Like seems to be my case, some people just won’t like you no matter what. So best just to save your energy and move on. But people surprise me sometimes and there’s just those good people out and about, but everybody’s got their own issues and that’s what they’re interested in. They’re generally not interested in your opinions and being told they’re wrong, but they’re more than happy to tell you you’re wrong lol. You can use that to your advantage, not even in a manipulative way or getting the best of them way.

[ABC333]

Day 8: No listening.

I was a little reconny last night. When I was at work there was a moment where I was like this is really the perfect amount of recon. Since it may have to be part of the process, this is just the right amount, lol.

Before I went to bed I saw a video. A new concept was introduced to me. Vetting people you’re dating. I really liked the concept. I wish I’d known about it sooner. I could have vetted my ex and known it wasn’t for me. I think that’s when I realized it wasn’t going to work, when I started really looking at what I wanted. Well, she didn’t fit that. Had I vetted her in the first place I would have saved so much time and energy. But I also think that just being attracted to people gets in the way. So if I had known about vetting when I was younger, would it have mattered? I didn’t have the wisdom yet.

No stomach situations for 2 days. I really think it was more possibly a stomach bug of some sort, viral, or something.

I’m planning on starting my wall pushups and pull up progressions today. Gonna start from absolute beginner mode. I’ll do that after work. I’ll also hit the knee exercises because it’s been two days off. My body said it was rest/recovery mode.

After work:

Work went good. No stamina problems.

Now I’m in my feels a bit again. So still reconning.

I think I need a good night’s sleep. Just had dinner time to relax. Haven’t done any exercise yet since getting home from work. But I’ll get it in. Just need some decompressing first.

End of night: I kinda like the wall pushups. First day. I could see how it could get boring, after awhile. But for now it’s new and it gets the blood flowing and feeling the burn. It also requires mindfulness to keep the proper pace. I’d guess it won’t take longer than a month to meet the goal to move on to the next progression. I actually think the higher reps will be better for me due to the blood flow and joint benefits. I could definitely see myself back to regular pain free pushups later this year.

I was worried I wasn’t going to get any biceps work from the vertical pull. They’re the opposite of the pushups. But I couldn’t find a way to do them. Basically you need a pole or a rack to hold on to and you clasp your hands around it. Well eventually I realized I could try my barbell. Just stand it in the door frame like a pole. It works. My biceps are feeling it. I would have never guessed that would hit my biceps that good. My back might be sore tomorrow, not sure about the chest yet. Nice and slow and high reps. I like it. lol actually carrying the barbell is probably what pumped up my biceps. I was vertically carrying it over to the door and back.

[ABC333]

Day 9: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD. 15 mins Paragon.

First thing is that I’m once again surprised by what I see in the mirror. After a carb day I look better. Like my midsection looks to be really tightening up. I can’t wait for another month or two after I get some pushups and pullups under my belt.

The bodybuilding. com forums are gone and I wanted to refresh on how to do a carb up day by the book. Well I couldn’t find that info anymore. I can tell you I’ve never been strict with my one weekly free day. And I get great results. All I could find was mostly people with bad attitudes saying you don’t need carbs and calling you names if you wanted a carb day, lol. This was me trying to refresh my keto info after 20 years of doing my research.

Went to pick up some stuff at the big box store today. It was nice to see that my anxiety has gone way down. Getting glimpses of what it’s like to have almost zero anxiety around people. So yea, by the end of the year I think it’s certainly possible to be living at the lowest levels of anxiety in my life. That really opens life up for me. So I think I’m still on the right stack for me. Just at times I wish I was on other titles, but I know they’re not necessary. I’ve had periods in my life when everything was clicking, and I hadn’t even tried any subliminals yet.

I think I’ve found my money bible. It’s a book called The Energy of Money. I’ve had it for like 15 years maybe. I had so much resistance back then that I just never got around to reading it. I even went to college during that time and got a massage therapy degree. Never did anything with it, that pesky anxiety held me back. Yet I made it through college despite it.

So the book has exercises, making lists to help you get clear. Your life’s intentions and your goals. I’m finding it extremely helpful. Since I’m not on Genesis or a wealth title, this will help me with the money side of things for sure. Not business, per se. Just more of getting clear on the whole subject of money and my goals and intentions.

I just read through one part and it covers SMART goals. I’m not a big fan of them, but it’s put in a way that I can utilize. Especially more practical for something like money. Like, one example was that I want to be happy is not a goal. It has to be specific. So the example instead is I want to learn scuba diving by next summer. Or, I want to buy a new house. Those are specific. I’ve never been a big fan of time constraints on goals, but for whatever reason this book is helping things click for me, I guess I’m just ready. It’s like I get to be a beginner again, but instead of having so much resistance I’m finally able to get some clarity and do the exercises.

I gotta get some resistance bands. I’m more into doing prehab/rehab nowadays. Always have a goal to get back to jumps and kettlebell ballistic movements. I’m redoing my training as if I’m a beginner. No ego, just really being mindful, preventing injury and working with a longevity mentality. I like the new mentality of training the body as a whole unit, instead of isolation. But prehab/rehab is definitely more isolation which is fine since I gotta rebuild a solid foundation focused on joint/ligament health.

Bare minimum my goal is to just be able to jump on the trampoline for 10 minutes a day for the lymph benefits.

evening:

I was driving earlier today when I went to the big box. I saw this guy, just like noticed him as I was driving and he was intimidated by me. So with some people I still have the intimidation vibes. But I was just appreciating my perspective without the anxiety. I mean just viewing life from, “me” without the worries. I was also able to read some body language cues, as I was shopping. Nice to have some clarity and have room for more awareness and resources.

These new 7mm knee sleeves are legit. I never bought them because I thought they were for like power lifters. But they got me thinking I could start doing knees over toes exercises again. But I will hold off. I am considering walking stairs though. I think the best solution is to start using the cardio glide first. Might try 5-10 minutes and see how things feel. I already walked 30 minutes today, no knee supports. But still going slow. My ligaments still feel like they’re acclimating to the rehab.

Actually I better stick to as is. My calves will need some massaging with the massage gun. Feels like they need some work. That also tells me I really need to focus on hamstrings, they may be a weakness. I haven’t been doing calves yet but I’ve been doing standing hamstring curls. Yet my upper calves are sore.

So I may have found one of my weak links, my hammies. I don’t have equipment at home to train them. So I guess I’ll be working on stability ball hamstring curls now. I’ve been wanting to add glute bridges in too, I guess I might have to.

End of night:

It seems there’s a learning curve on exercises you’ve never done. I have some tweaks to try. Flexing my tibs to deactivate my calf muscles on the standing hamstring curls, all hamstring curls actually. It was actually first day of standing hamstring curls. I’ve just always had in mind since Jr. high, my cousin’s dad had a bench and hamstring curl bench in his basement. Me and my cousin used to work out there and he said his dad said if you do hamstring curls your calves will get big.

If I could go back and retrain, I’d do things way different now. I’d hit more of the standing hip machine and hyperextensions for the back. Back then it was still more of a bodybuilding style training. Kettlebells hadn’t even come on the scene yet. There wasn’t all this athletic focus and training available yet before social media. I probably would have been better served doing basic compound lifts, and doing sprints and jumping rope, and calisthenics.

[ABC333]

Day 10: No listening.

I did 2 rounds of the beginner FT set before bed. Back felt good. So next week I’ll officially be starting over on FT from beginner to advanced which takes 6 weeks.

Still working through some feelings at times, but also feeling the LBFH today. It’s just a winning combo of LBFH and DRLD in my custom. In previous cycles this stuff would always make me want to be on Heartsong. But I didn’t have any desire to be on Heartsong this time. Just working through it.

I got some clarity on my knees. Right knee feeling normal today. Left knee some pain on the interior lateral side. It’s not painful as in injury painful, I wouldn’t say it’s super serious. Possible strain. So I’ll need to focus on adductors abductors in addition to the other stuff I’m doing. I’m doing some research for exercises for that kind of knee issue. Something I’ve been procrastinating on is self massage. So I’ll be doing that too.

It looks like basically I’ve been doing the right knee exercises. Just need to start working on those step downs again. And I’ll have to add the calves back in. So I should start the basic knees over toes exercises again.

Another cool thing that’s been happening is my intuition is there and seems to be coming back again. But it’s not like I know that I know, it’s more that after the fact I get confirmations. So I can practice awareness and trusting my thinking again. Like those nudges to do something or whatever. Either way I’ll get feedback and learn to fine tune things.

I’m definitely feeling more on the up and up today. I’m still confident my knees will just take time and proper training to get back to being pain and injury free. Still have that limit falling away of wanting to do too much. In many areas of my life I wanted to do too much. So it lead to things like overwhelm, inaction, and burnout.

Since I feel like I don’t have a choice at least with bringing my body back in shape. I have to be much more mindful, and slow down, focus on proper mechanics and listen to my body. So naturally, that means I have to tighten up my plan. Just do what’s necessary and not even concern myself with what lies ahead. I used to rush through mobility and my exercises so I could fit everything in. But that’s definitely not necessary.

Just ran to the store. Wasn’t clicking with people today. A little anxious. I’m more in the mood to get to my workout now. But now my humor and creativity is coming back since I’m procrastinating the workout. So work out time, lol.

Evening:

My libido kicked in for the past couple hours. In the past it would get me wanting to be on a seduction title, not this time.

My knee pain is gone. I decided to try some knees over toes exercises. Just greatly modified with reduced range of motion for 25 reps each. There’s a single leg step down movement. I just did it on flat ground with both legs together instead of single leg, with a small range of motion for slow reps. Then there’s a knees over toes lunge. I sat on my exercise ball and used both legs instead. I could still get that kind of range of motion of the thighs touching the calves, but really small range of motion for 25 reps. No more knee pain. I’ll still do the other stuff since I’m not doing full range of motion squats or lunges yet.

My love of exercise has really come back. I think before I got set back I was just trying to do too much. Now I’m more focused and moving in the right direction again. I can see results and feel them. I’m probably getting more benefit slowing down and being more mindful as well. Really mastering movements.

[ABC333]

Day 11: 30 seconds Paragon. 5 mins LBFH/DRLD custom

I’m up late so I haven’t slept yet. I decided to do my pushups and pullups before bed. Maybe I’ll need to do those before work instead. I also did my stretching after work. Not a big deal being up late, but I like waking up earlier in the day.

The wall pushups actually had my triceps on fire today. My biceps are feeling it too, and it turns out it is from the standing pulls, whatever they’re called. So maybe I won’t progress as fast as I thought. I’ll have to build endurance, to be able to hit the progression standards. I think the current plan is going to build more of a swimmer’s body. Which is fine, I don’t want to add muscle and weight. I always want to get back to strength training but I know it takes more recovery, and so I like being strong but I never found the balance to also maintain the other aspects of fitness that I wanted to.

I’ll probably have more endurance than I ever have this summer though. So I’ll get a new experience of what that’s like. It’ll be good because I think it’ll really help get my elbows in knees back to being able to do kettlebell workouts. Fixing those weak points right now.

I think I’m on the right track though, I would like to do boxing training. That’s definitely more endurance and also speed and explosive stuff.

Afternoon: I’m feeling like I want to nap but I lay down and nope that’s not what I want to do. Then I remembered I was up late and woke up early.

I was just reading through this book, The Energy of Money. I got to the section on Identifying Your Inner Blocks to Progress.

It covers Driven Behavior. And I think that’s what I’ve experienced as far as doing too much. Like whether it’s learning to play guitar or whatever. I used to have a block that kept me thinking I needed to do too much. When getting more simple is the ticket.

"In the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche writes that our driven behavior is a type of active laziness that “consists of cramming our lives with compulsory activity, so that there is no time at all to confront the real issues. Our lives seem to live us, to possess their own bizarre momentum, to carry us away. In the end we feel we have no choice or control over them.”

" Your experience of an abundant life is the sum of your authentic choices minus the sum of your driven behavior. "

Self Note: Next cycle is 6 Paragon and 4 LBFH/DRLD custom.

Kind of considering running Survival Instinct next cycle instead of the custom. I’d like to fast track any healing and health concerns. If a new SI were to drop, definitely would be running that.

[ABC333]

Day 12: No listening.

Sometimes when I go to bed and I know sleep isn’t gonna happen very easily. I sometimes will just start releasing/letting go instead. I figure it’s a better use of my time. Last night was one of those nights. I don’t know how long it was but maybe 30mins to an hour. I had like this break through. I was releasing on self love. Now it’s like it’s there and I don’t have to maintain it. Just another little uplevel.

But I woke up tired, still tired and releasing isn’t going so great. It’s probably a better day for meditation. I probably didn’t get as much sleep as I like. But I didn’t keep track of how long I slept. It was so cold last night too, I think I got a headache from that but it didn’t bother me. I feel like napping today. But that’s not happening. I’d say maybe the state akin to sleep work would be better for me today. Though just for rest benefits since I haven’t mastered holding in mind or visualizing what I want. I’d say I have to probably do more releasing work on what do I want to have, be or do? And get clear.

I have some pre-workout samples and this one always gets high praise. So I was planning to try it today, perfect day for it. I looked at the ingredients, 350 mg of caffeine. So I said nevermind. I’ll take the 200mg pre-workout instead. I’ve never felt like I want to workout on 350mg caffeine. In fact I don’t wanna work out on that until it wears off a little. lol.

This book The Energy of Money is soo good. I read some more on the chapter of Driven Behavior, and flipped ahead to see what’s coming. For what ever reason it’s just clicking. Really good stuff. It’s more about living your Life’s Intentions and Goals and the removing blocks to that section is great. I will have to revisit it when I get to the wealth titles for sure. But I plan on going through it multiple times to let it really sink in.

I also like how as we grow, we can revisit books, movies, people, whatever. And find different layers to it. Like when we remove some of our baggage it can be a whole new experience. The first time you go through something you can be so sure it’s this, and then you go through it after some growth and expansion and it’s like wow, I really was seeing it through my own filters at that time.

End of night:

Well after the pre-workout I felt a whole lot better. I was even feeling grounded through most of the evening. Then I drove to the gas station to pick something up after dinner. A super slow car was ahead of me and anger came up. But it passed after a few minutes, forgot about it. Then sometime later when it was time to go to work I was in my feels again.

That little breakthrough I had last night brought me more conscious, more light. Thus now I can see more in the shadows. Like I got a higher powered bulb in my flashlight.

I got to work and at one of the places beside my building. These two guys were taking trash out. I dunno how but like sometimes you can just tell what kind of people they are. I wasn’t trying to judge just mind my own business as usual. But of course one of them was the hyena type. I swear these guys are out there who are like cartoon characters. I call them the criminal types. Certainly not criminal masterminds, more of the shit head variety. Of course they’ll laugh at you and talk about you, that kind of nonsense.

Then I got to the door and the lock has always been tough. They even changed it once and I got a new key. Still gotta force the key in. Well, my key got stuck so I had to stand out there longer than I would have liked. So I left the key in the door, got my equipment and stuff in the door. Got set up and came back so I could work with it without an audience. I did get the key out.

I’m definitely thinking to change gears back to the Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom. It has more of an edge to it but it’s probably going to work with Paragon quite well. I’ve got like code of loyalty, and the modules to keep that unwanted attention away. I hadn’t encountered that in quite some time.

It got me thinking, that my ideal stack is probably Primal, Chosen, I haven’t settled on that third title yet. I think I’d like to try Limitless in that third slot. The Will To Power would also be a candidate over Chosen.

I also had an idea that maybe I could use that custom module about using all energy. I forget the name. But being a bit of a sensitive, and intuitive type, I’d like to at least use that energy to stay focused instead of it almost like being used by it. Sometimes especially with the shitty types it’s almost like I mirror it back, but that’s not something I like. I haven’t gotten it to serve me in a helpful way that I’ve seen. Just makes me stay in solitude/hermit mode. So I could also look at Negative Energy Transmutation module. SI/Spartan custom also has eventide, I like the idea of that module. Kind of like keeping secrecy/silence from kind of a spiritual standpoint.

But I also have eye of the storm, foundation, and safety net in the LBFH/DRLD custom. So that should help me wipe out that kind of problem in time.

I think the Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom kind of plays on the same themes, just with that harder edge.

The pushups and pullups are already giving me that someone who works out look, in the upper body. Knees were back to normal, I wasn’t worried about them at all. I still don’t do the pivot and twisting like I tend to do. But I can still do the intuitive movements with my hands and arms. Like dropping things switching hands, catching things and I couldn’t think about it or teach it. Just like natural stuff that comes from being in the flow. Just things you start doing when you do something for so long you just don’t think about it kind of stuff. Maybe like one of those uhh, stir fry chefs or fancy bar tenders. I couldn’t do that stuff because I’ve never done it, I’m not familiar with their tools.

[ABC333]

Day 13: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD custom. 15 mins Paragon.

Man, sometimes I still really wish I had a seduction title on board. But if I do change titles, I’ll have to go for the SI/Spartan custom again for 4 cycles. Hopefully, that’d have my body back in tip top shape.

My left knee hamstring tendon has a little pain today. So I’m gonna have to research how to work those hamstring tendons. Probably some type of isometric exercises.

My LBFH/DRLD seems to be a 3 cycle title. Last time I used it I only did 3 cycles I think. Now I’m feeling like it’s time to switch it out after 3 cycles. Maybe it’s that DRLD component.

My new plan is to stop LBFH/DRLD after this cycle. Test out Phoenix for one cycle. I don’t think that’s a long term title either, like DRLD, but great in short spurts. Then after a cycle of Phoenix I’ll be back to my Aegis: Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom. I still haven’t updated the Spartan core because I’m holding out for Survival Instinct updated core.

It looks like the best hamstring exercises are still the ones I haven’t started doing! Glute Bridges and Exercise Ball Hamstring curls.

Evening Update:

Off and on in my feels again. Planning to run Phoenix next cycle at 30 seconds. I’m thinking of it like the janitor. It’s gonna come in and mop things up a bit.

I think I’ll stick with LBFH/DRLD custom. I’ll take the view of when the going gets tough, the tough get going. But it’s more like when the going gets tough, the going gets good. 1 more cycle will give me 4 cycles which is my standard minimum for a title.

I think I might’ve found out what was the real cause of my extra bathroom trips. It might be because I was taking 1 tsp of cream of tartar. I was taking it for the potassium. But I found out I should maybe be taking 1/4 teaspoon a day. The package says 1tsp serving size is 20% rda potassium. So I thought that was fine. But I just learned that cream of tartar is sometimes used as a laxative. So I had some of those types of bowel movements today, so I thought I could use the extra potassium so I took another tsp. Then like an hour ago i took another tsp. Luckily I also took baking soda pre workout and I just took some more baking soda an hour ago. After learning that 3 tsp of cream of tartar is a no-no.

I haven’t worked out yet and probably won’t. A little worried and have to watch myself to see if I have any symptoms which would mean I’d need to visit the ER. But I did have a big pizza meal today so I think that will help me out and prevent any problems with too much potassium. I’m also on keto so I don’t really eat much potassium in my diet, that’s also why I was supplementing the cream of tartar.

So now I learned something new.

What I found was that there’s no major toxicity with cream of tartar. But there are 2 cases they list of people using it as a laxative. One was like a 16 year old body builder who took 6 tablespoons to clean himself out. Another was a 32 year old man who took 6 tablespoons to clean himself out. They both spent like a day in the hospital and were fine after. Just needed IV’s and stuff.

So I’m thinking I’ll be fine, just a little scare and a wake up call to be more careful. I also have had high blood pressure in the past so generally always took like 1/4 teaspoon daily of some form of potassium. But that’s all I take it for.

Plus I didn’t take all 3 teaspoons of cream of tartar at once. So that should lower my chances of having to deal with a hospital visit. And so far I haven’t had anymore of the laxative effects either. I also had some brewer’s yeast earlier and got some fiber in too. I decided to do my mobility anyway. It’ll keep my mind busy rather than worrying.

[ABC333]

Day 14: no listening.

Before bed is was scrilling one of my social media feeds. Somebody was raving about this mineral supplement. Its from grass fed whey. So I look at the ingredients and it has 1000mg potassium. Which is 20% of your daily potassium, among other minerals in one scoop. They said they feel so good after taking it.

So for me I think it was safe to get 20% potassium daily just the form wasnt so great. 1 teaspoon of cream of tartar may give the laxative effect.

Have to split that up i to 1/4 tsp doses split up.

Still slightly in my feels but feeling more like it’s just temporary and part of the growth. This stuff still seems to be around the dating relationships theme. Probably the love modules and love without attachment still going deep.

I also see a few woman I really liked on social media. I could just tell they were gonna get with the wrong men. Now they’re both complaining about cheaters and liars, lol. So it’s still tracking that generally speaking, women are gonna go for the liars and cheaters.

So even if you’re not a liar or cheater you want to add more of that i to your personality if you want to get more woman. Simply playing the numbers game. I also do think sub club titles are great for improving your vibe to where you have the right vibe and you can still be more you.

I’m still holding on to the idea that live without attachment is the ticket. Like how they say when you don’t care, you get everything you want. Just kind of tricky to find that sweet spot.

I decided to do the knees over toes program last night. Tibs, calves then my regressed two legged versions of the single leg exercises. For the step downs i chose basically quarter squats. I did 11 back the left leg hamstring tendon wasnt happy. Had to stop. Then I did my two legged ball sitting flex range kind of rock backs. Hit 50 slow reps.

Today I’m going to add the glute bridges in after my FT sets.

So I think I got a good self entertaining vetting question to ask women. Have you ever been cheated on, or have you ever dated a liar or cheater? If she has I’ll just tell her it probably isn’t going to work with me. Because you have a track record, that’s what you respond to, even if you say you’ve changed and you don’t like it. I’m not a liar or cheater. You’re probably going to maybe cheat on me, or dump me, or get bored and cause unnecessary, at least to me, drama. And so for me I’m not interested in any of that. So I’m going to have to pass.

I decided to experiment with laying on the solid ground floor after workouts for time. On the days I don’t do the self traction unit. I heard someone say that it’s good to lay and sit on the floor. You might even get cracks in your back just laying on the floor. Well, I didn’t get cracks. After about three minutes I got TRE shakes in my legs for the rest of the 5 minutes. So it’ll be something I’ll continue doing. At the very least it seems to be helping release any physical tensions.

I sent this vid to the guy I was talking to. A bit complainy kind of guy. Well I sent him a video of this chick who got mentored by a millionaire. She talks about intuition and how it’s more important to build that self awareness to be able to listen to it. Rather than rely on the logical mind, since she claims that our logical minds are programmed to fail. It sounds to me like she’s describing that driven type behavior. Like I should do this or that and being busy, rather than doing the thing that is actually going to be most beneficial.

Anyway, come to find out that I found out that some people just like complaining. Of course most people may not agree with our worldviews. No matter what it is someone hears it from their perspective, so they’ll find an argument immediately. So I got to remember that. And remembered that yea, people like where they’re at even if they complain that they don’t. Then I came up this thing that went, the people who actually do their inner work tend to lose their friends. It’s actually pretty common from my experience and hearing others talk about it. Also that the doers are doing, and the non-doers are just talking shit. But it’s kind of like, everybody’s still doing what they love in a way. So it just keeps me on track because yea, what do I want? That’s what I can do something about. Not changing everyone else.

End of night:

First half of work was fine. I was just listening to my audiobook. Still hearing new things after 13 listens. I noticed last week that my mind would not consciously listen to things I’d already heard, and would bring me back to consciously listening to the parts I hadn’t really heard yet.

So I was hearing some new things and then I started thinking. The gears started turning, and I felt like I was getting insight. Then I realized that too, could possibly become an addiction. So I kind of dropped it. And then I wasn’t so much in the flow, but things went well anyway. Like I was more hoping to get done early but it’s not a big deal. I gotta work again tomorrow and that’s my longest day. So I still have moments of just being present without the static. But I did feel like any bout of recon had been handled. Until the next one, lol.

Feeling back to normal at work. I just don’t push it at work and can still move at the pace I need to.

I’m thinking as the weeks go on my workouts are going to be a lot tougher. My arms are looking bigger already, but I’m more excited that they’re toning up and I’m getting more of that definition in my muscles.

Between FT and progressing the pushups and pullups following the Convict Conditioning Programs, in 6 weeks that’s gonna be wild. I’m guessing I’ll be in as good of shape as I’ve ever been. Probably will be looking my best as well. But I think after 6 weeks I will definitely cut back the FT again. I’m hoping by then I’ll also be doing the full knees over toes basic exercises without regressions. Just could be really tough in about a month. If anything I’d slow down on the pushups and pullups to finish out the FT program.