ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#395

Day 1: 15 mins Paragon.

I am definitely leaning towards Spartan Apex store title. I think after 4 cycles of Paragon I’m going to switch. Unless I have any more injuries or health things, I think Spartan is the next level for me. Moving from healing to building. Also the mental toughness and strength will just boost DRLD and vice versa. I’m still kind of settled in my life. I also know I’ve got to level up and get some things moving again. Putting some things into action to increase income, and start to live a little more.

I got like a 10-15 minute nap this evening. Maybe less. I have been staying up an hour later lately too. So I’ve been hoping to get an extra hour of sleep.

I read about people’s dry skin or scalp clearing up on Paragon. I’ve still got dry scalp. But I might say that I’m feeling the energy drain a bit. I will stick out one more cycle on 15min loops. If anything I would like to try out 30 second loops if I don’t go to Spartan Apex next cycle. I do feel like I’m past any health worries and pains/injuries after 3 cycles. I’d also like to have some energy back, I mean I have moments but I also have moments where yea, feels like I just need more rest even though I don’t get more sleep.

I think that’s also why I wanted to get on QL, I feel like it’d have more energy and have the brain boost and cognitive benefits as well as nervous system. Typing this out makes me think if I’m feeling like Paragon isn’t a necessity maybe I could still consider QL. I’d have to trade one for the other.

#396

Day 2: No listening.

The only possible issue with going to QL is that I’m still on my LBFH/DRLD custom. I think that could be a heavy load with both. But I wouldn’t think anymore than with Paragon. Though I’d expect some recon just due to the extensive nature of QL.

Though, i feel like the benefits outweigh any challenges. The brain chemistry, balancing, hormone balancing, nervous system repair etc. I feel like are going to be most beneficial for me this year.

#397

Day 3: 1:30 LBFH/DRLD custom.

I woke up and was feeling the love bomb. Might be some of those presults. I hadn’t listened to my loop yet and haven’t felt love like that in awhile.

end of night:

Felt good at work. Physically I’d say I’m 100% conditioned to my job. So from this point on my workouts will be increasing my capacity if anything.

Last night or the night before I had some dreams. I was walking around and these women like me and they were trying to connect with me, that sexual connection. I wanted to connect with them as well, but it’s like it just wasn’t happening.

So there seems to be some conscious move towards wanting to find those right connections for me. Like people on the same wavelength. It’s been a long time since I had people I actually connect with and can just be myself with. I’ve been in hermit mode since I kind of became an outcast because people knew I was different.

Yet I wasn’t different, I just had the audacity to seek within myself and do the inner work. In doing that it’s been a long journey. I think I’m probably closer to finally meeting some people. I just remembered this could be some You Are Not Alone module influence, paired with Long-Range Seduction. I was wondering why it would be dating/seduction related dreams when I’m not on any titles about that. But that makes sense.

#398

Day 4: No listening.

Today I kind of have some more coming up, just wishing I had a great dating life. But I’d guess it’s just working through some things. Like I dont’ know if I want to date lots of women or find that one.

Still not sure what route I want to take as far as titles but I’m not there yet. QL will be the next tile I run, plan to run it all year. I still think it’s gonna be great if I can run my LBFH/DRLD custom the whole year as well.

I guess I’m still considering what title I’d really like to run. I just don’t know right now. This could be some effects of the healing in LBFH/DRLD custom. Breaking down limits, leaving me in some of the unknown territory where I haven’t nailed down my goals yet. Pursuing goals is in DRLD so yea, possibly healing effects to gain clarity on my goals.

I bought a bag of creatine monohydrate so I’ll be trying that out next week. I’ve always taken creatine but a micronized form. Just wanted to do an experiment since I hear so much these days about people finding out about creatine. I’m looking for the cognitive benefits and recovery. I don’t want to just increase caffeine. I plan to start drinking decaf though because I got a new coffee maker.

I started doing pushups once a week for max reps. I can already tell my body is able to look better. I think in 4 weeks for sure I can see changes. I’ve only done them 1x a week because I have zero conditioning for them and will be sore for a few days after. My reps improve weekly and it’s only been 3 weeks I think. On the one hand I think that’s great that I can see the changes, but I gotta keep in mind that those other changes that can’t be seen might take longer. Like strengthening ligaments and joints etc. Those are the most important things for me. I just gotta take it slow and steady.

Also helps me see that I don’t need to do hours of workout at least for looking good. My main focuses are still the mobility and some flexibility, just having more athletic qualities. I can pick a couple compound exercises and do 1 set and that’s all I need to look good and get stronger. I really want to get to some kettlebell conditioning routine to build cardio and drop the fat. But I’m probably a couple months away while I focus on still building and maintaining my base. Gotta stay healthy and injury free.

Evening:

I do notice now that I’m less inclined to want the same results as others. I’m more concerned with what’s best for me as far as titles go. I used to read a lot of the title threads and would be wanting to get on those titles. I still read sometimes but I notice I’m less influenced, and instead more focused on what I want and need from the titles.

I was reading up on Spartan and LOS. Spartan Apex still takes the cake for me. The mental aspects really stand out to me, and it’s a fitness title. I think I’m gonna be ready to trade out Paragon after this cycle. If Spartan Apex isn’t quite there for me yet I’d move on to QL for the rest of the year.

End of night:

I don’t have any noticeable recon from the 1:30 loop of LBFH/DRLD. Might as well try 3 mins next listen.

#399

Day 5: 15 mins Paragon.

Today I’m thinking just go for 6 cycles with Paragon. lol. To me health is number one. Physical and mental and then the money and ladies and everything else. I think I will at least go for one more cycle after this and then change it out in March or April. My plan was Paragon all winter.

I stopped at the bank today. I felt in a good mood. Felt love when the cute cashier was talking to me. It wasn’t attached though so I just let myself feel it. I wasn’t falling in love it was just feeling love and so I let it be without overthinking it. My recent experience was to walk away or get rid of it if I felt like I was falling in love with a woman. It’s never worked out. In my experience it does seem to be the case that you can love a woman but you can’t be in love with her. For whatever reason being in love is not the bag of goodies we’ve been sold, at least as men. But it could be different for somebody else. It’s probably just my limiting belief, as some would most likely say. I just gotta go with experience. Love without attachment is the master key in my book.

I have a new theory about you know how when you make silly mistakes. like drop something even though it’s something you do all the time. With myself I noticed that since they’re so rare and when they do happen I can see that I was thinking about something. Not necessarily bad but not good either. But for simplicity you could say yea, thinking a little judgemental or negative. So my theory is it’s like muscle testing. They say with certain words or imaginings you are strong, and others you are weak. So that judgement or negative thinking is temporarily making you “weak” so you make that mistake. I noticed with me dropping the thing or almost dropping it snaps me out of it and the past two times I couldn’t even recall what I was thinking. So it’s like a fail safe.

#400

Day 6: No listening.

The other day I noticed that I’m feeling stiff as a board in my core. So it’s time to add in rotational and lateral bending to keep my body mobile and free like I like. I started by adding in some rotation and lateral flexion during a ten minute walk. I already got sore, so I’m gonna stick with that for awhile.

I was thinking how I must have a pretty good base level of health. I mean if my body is still able to change and look better in weeks, and I’m 42. So that’s a case for me to move to Spartan, but I think Paragon has helped for sure. I started it because I had pain and injury. So for now I’m thinking 2 more cycles of Paragon.

I am still having those moments where I just want to sow my wild oats. Another good sign of good health. But for practical reasons I’m not dating yet.

I started noticing some women who I think are hot. I also think I’m starting to notice which ones might be open to something. I’d call it vibe or energy, maybe aura. Some are closed off there’s nothing there. Can’t really put it into words but seems to be some sort of change there.I did see one chick who I thought was hot, but vibe-wise I felt like she wouldn’t be into me. Maybe has a boyfriend or just not interested. Not like a hot hot chick, but hot to me. And that’s probably some limiting pattern in me, where in the past I’d like a woman, may not be hot to everyone but I really liked her. Annnd she just wasn’t into me. But seeing the other possibilities has me less attached to that.

#401

Day 7: 3 minutes of LBFH/DRLD custom.

Bumping up listening time due to not having recon from this title, at least nothing I’ve noticed.

Falling asleep is wild when you hit the point where the unconscious comes to the surface. A lot of times it seems like completely random things that just pop up. It’s also like a dream in that it’s not easy to remember, in a few moments it’s faded away. Had a few moments of that last night, this am.

I stayed up late last night. Still got 8 hours of sleep. I’m back in ketosis so I’m like 2 hours late on my first nutrition of the day, I just forgot. Drank my nutrient shake and now I’m feeling great today. Still a little sore from the weekend work but I’m gonna get my workout in. Probably won’t go for max pushups today, I’ll keep it a few reps short.

Okay so I guess I’m only on for a recovery workout today. I want to err on the side of recovery if I’m still sore. No pushups today, maybe wall pushups for blood flow. I’m still buying into the idea that recovery might be more important than everything else and I can still make progress without beating my body up. Light days keep me consistent and get my body moving so I can feel good.

After warming up I did the normal pushups. Cranked out 3 more reps than last week.

Had some anxiety come up after exercising. I spent some minutes releasing/letting go. Then the love bomb came back.

#402

Day 8: No listening.

I’m confident that I will be doing 15 minute loops of LBFH/DRLD by the end of this cycle. 2 title stack is really the way to go for me. Especially with 1 custom in the mix. After that first cycle of 30 seconds with it, things are starting to lighten up and still no recon that I’ve noticed.

I just started thinking about Primal again. But I really like having Paragon on board for the health peace of mind. And I don’t want to do a 3 title stack while I’m running a custom. So Spartan Apex still fits the bill, it’s not Primal, but I think for my purposes and intentions this year, it will be good.

I went to a different gas station today. I walked in and some guy was at the cashier. I’m pretty sure he said hi how’s it going to me as I was walking in.That was new. He didn’t work there, just some random guy. The kind of guy I see around but never get acknowledged by, but that’s generally most people. But yea that never happens so I almost took it as that didn’t really happen kind of things, lol. Just so I don’t feel like I was being rude.

That reminded me that last week I was in the gas station. A different one. I go to the small ones because they don’t get big crowds. So I walk in and it’s like this guy could almost feel my vibe or something so he had to turn around when I came in and said hi to me. So I said hi to him. But like I’m not feeling particularly high vibing in those situations, it’s more what I’d call normal. But that’s gotta be LBFH at work.

But I wasn’t paying attention to him I was trying to decide if the other cashier girl was closed or open, she was on her phone texting or something. So finally she tells me she’s open after I’m standing there a few moments. Again one of those chicks I liked but she was like cold, there was zero interest in me. So after I was driving away I was laughing about it because I was reading the situation but it didn’t matter, I didn’t even care. She didn’t like me, oh well. More of an NPC type anyway.

Then on the way home I stopped at the bank. The cashier didn’t seem into me but again, I thought she was alright. So I just let myself appreciate her without saying it and was making eye contact. At the end of the transaction I could tell she was more open to me. So it is kind of simple sometimes. Some just aren’t gonna be into you. Some might not seem to be into you at first but make good eye contact, let yourself feel appreciation or something, and want nothing from them and you’re in. I guess I can’t say she would date me or anything but odds are way higher than with the first chick. I’m still not dating for practical reasons but it’s nice to be noticing some things. Feeling better about being around people lately. Not always, but more often than not.

Also had one trying to sneak a look at me who had a bf, at least I thought. They were close to each other and so I wasn’t even going to mess with that situation. So attraction is rising, even though LBFH isn’t a seduction title.

LBFH/DRLD seems to be activating the Lover archetype in me. I’m not seducing or bedding women but I can see that it’s definitely more Lover archetype. More about who I genuinely connect with rather than sport. Has the wheels turning, wondering about the possibilities of having Heartsong and S&S on board. But at this rate I don’t feel like I’d need those. That’d be more I’m feeling adventurous and let’s see what happens kind of fun. If anything Daredevil would be the ticket.

#403

Day 9: 15 mins Paragon.

I’m feeling that ‘today is a good day’ kind of feeling. LBFH has really come on in this second cycle.

Reading through the DRLD description again. I’m more open to Legacy of Spartan. Since it’s pure looks maxxing. DRLD already has that scripting that is similar to Spartan Apex as far as taking action and mindset. And LOS also has some health scripting for organs and such. So LOS is on my radar now. I was even thinking of taking Wanted for a spin again. The drawback for me is it’s not health focused but I know I’d get the physical shifting benefits.

But again if I’m being more practical. Primal is on the radar, it has uses that have been said to also be great for things like business and it still has attraction.

I finally took a scoop of pre-workout after 2 months no caffeine. I felt like 50mg of daily afternoon caffeine was a nice little boost. This pre’s label says 150mg of caffeine and I’m just not feeling it. Maybe slowed down digestion since I ate 6 piece of string cheese an hour before taking it.

Spartan Apex will probably be the next title after Paragon, for me. Fitness is important to me and especially as I get older. I want to be as fit and athletic as possible for as long as possible. I’ll just get those boosted mental and action taking benefits as well, that go beyond just fitness goals. Primal does seem like a title I want to get back to though. I like the non-botheredness and my next run I’m sure I will benefit more from the social benefits.

End of night:

Slightest of recon. Maybe I’ll keep DRLD/LBFH to 3 mins for the cycle. Getting the good feelings and some light recon. I’ve reached a sweet spot- I lean on the sweet spot being temporary. Increasing as growth progresses, as I move past the recon than I can increase to the next time marker, thus, allowing a gradual progression while avoiding overload.

#404

Day 10: No listening.

I had a dream about a female friend. For all intents and purposes she ghosted me last time I tried to talk to her. In the dream I guess I was at her place and she was moving. People were moving and I was just there, not helping and it wasn’t weird that I wasn’t. At one point we were walking and she put her hand on my bum and in the dream it just felt good hahahaha. I would say that’s my mind’s interpretation of DRLD at work. I forgot about that. Everytime I would start a new title I’d have dreams of me living in a different place or my room being empty, stuff like that. But since LBFH/DRLD isn’t new new new for me, I finally get some hints of DRLD removing limitations.

I really think LBFH/DRLD and my modules is the perfect blend for me. I would say I’ve gotten the confidence from DRLD and just coupled with LBFH it’s pretty great.

I even got some love flooding yesterday. I was tired and watching tv and I noticed that I was getting the love flooding effect. I wasn’t consciously guiding it. I think that’s the first time I really noticed it.

I also like having Paragon on board for peace of mind. If I get a little stressed and go through some recon I just remember that I’m happy to have Paragon on board to keep me healthy.

Also the light protection scripting of LBFH and the anti-manipulation disconnect from toxic influence is a killer combo for me. But it also has the positivity and mindset that it’s not defense focused. I’m more positive focused.

To me LBFH/DRLD is like a Genesis or something. It’s kind of an all around title. I can switch that second title which is Paragon depending on my focus. For the next 2 cycles I’m sticking with Paragon, which will get me to 6 cycles of it.

It really was the right move after Sanguine. I’d call LBFH/DRLD custom my all time favorite title. I think it gets me back to being me. Not this or that, just more me.

The only downside is that I wouldn’t want to run LBFH/DRLD custom with a 4 stager, besides maybe EOG or KB, maybe Alchemist. Eh, who am I kidding, I could do 30 seconds if I really wanted to do a 4 stager.

Did my 50 mg of caffeine and I haven’t eaten yet. I’m already feeling it. So that settles it, no eating before I take my caffeine. I took pre-workout yesterday but had eaten 6 piece of string cheese, so I never got that kick even though it had 150 mg of caffeine. The first week or two when I re-start keto diet, I eat more just to get myself settled back in. I like to keep myself not feeling hungry and then once I really get into ketosis, I tend to eat only because it’s time because I don’t get hungry a lot of the time.

I was reading through the DRLD thread and feeling pretty good about it. Since I’m not sure what title after Paragon, I’m thinking it’s time to take Genesis for a spin. After Paragon, that is. I’ll finally get some wealth scripting in the mix from Genesis along with knowing which titles are best for me.

Now it’s Limitless. That’s my next title, ahaha. I want to have the brainpower to learn and implement things. Having the Limitless boost might be the ticket.

I think Limitless will help me reignite some passions. I used to love learning and implementing them. But it seems like I lacked that mental energy sometimes. So Limitless is gonna be the way to go. It’ll also help me prep for QL.

I’d really like to start making money online. I mean just making say my first $100 from something other than selling my own stuff. I’ve also got many books I’d like to read through. I go for spurts, sometimes I’ll finish a couple books. Then I just won’t pick up reading again for awhile. I want to but like right now I’m a little tired. So I’m going to do a light workout before dinner. So Limitless will also help me streamline things like my workouts, whatever is going to be most efficient while allowing me the energy and time for my other goals such as studying and applying.

#405

Day 11: 3 mins LBFH/DRLD custom.

The custom is going to work, again evidenced by last night’s dreams. It was featuring another woman from my past. The last one I thought was into me, but it turns out she had a man. I didn’t get attached or anything, not consciously. But I’m not sure exactly what it was working on. I would say it was working on some old pattern on me and women I like. So that seems to be the theme. Switching it over to them liking me perhaps? Actually they did both like me, the one from a few nights ago was a logistics situation. I though it was a limitation that wasn’t able to be overcome. The one from last night was an old schoolmate. Over the years I certainly had a chance but due to my own perceived limitations I never asked her out. Now it seems she found her lifemate. So the dream I think was dealing with those limitations.

I also notice my talking and writing isn’t what it could be. Sometimes I miss words or letters, sometimes even when I talk I get mixed up and misspeak. I think my brain is going faster so I’m steps ahead. Limitless would help this.

I still sleep maybe 8 hours on average. I used to be a 9 hour sleeper. Can’t really do naps either. So Limitless might get called up from the bullpen next cycle. It still has hormone balancing and I think the executive functioning is my biggest hold back. Well, it’s just mental energy mainly and if I have that and executive functioning at a high level, that’s just going to benefit my whole life.

I’m feeling the energy draw of Paragon, maybe more so since I don’t have KB in my stack anymore. Plus the added benefit of helping with meditation in Limitless will help me got get some of that deep rest, which will be of great benefit.

I also do not want to do a 3 title stack with a custom. So Limitless is looking more attractive and is going to be most beneficial for me. I’ve never had a problem with exercise motivation, it’s just been part of my life. I also know that when I don’t exercise it’s so hard to get back into it after a long layoff. So that’s what keeps me sticking with it. It’s the use it or lose it idea.

I did the pre-workout again today and ate an hour after. I don’t think it’s the right one for me. I would get more of a boost from 150mg caffeine by itself. So there might be an ingredient or combo in this that just doesn’t gel with my physiology, at least in terms of the pure energy benefits I’m after.

I’ve also realized that my ex actually did like me. But she was pushing me away. She was one of those ones into serial killers. She needed drama. When I finally told her off then she hit the switch and became nice and submissive. I didn’t want that. I’ve had plenty of women like me and generally they weren’t into drama like that. So if a woman wants a guy who’s gonna beat her up and cheat on her so she can have her emotions and stay stimulated, that’s gonna be a no from me. lol. It took me awhile to realize that, after my anger and hurt finally passed. It just wasn’t worth it to me. That’s why I’ll probably always have Heartsong on my radar until I finally use it and find someone who fits best with me, and what I desire from a relationship. Sometimes I think that’s not out there, but I think it is and with Heartsong, I think it’s certainly possible.From what I could tell my ex actually came from a good home and family. Her parents were good to her and she loved them. Her parents were one of those 40 year marriages or something like that. I guess it seems like with the social programming out there, there’s lots of people who just don’t date anymore. But again, I still think the right situation is out there for me, but it starts within. :slight_smile:

End of night:

No major love bomb feel goods today. I think DRLD is walking in front lately. Which is also great. Removing those limitations. Nothing major in terms of recon. Just some slight low mood along with some insights and cool dreams.

So the LBFH/DRLD combo is still a winner. It seems to be on the right track hitting on what I need to work on as far as relationships and my own limitations in regards to those.

#406

Day 12: No listening.

More cool dreams last night. Similar to the last couple of nights. I just don’t remember anything of them at all though.

Feeling a little playful and in a good mood today.

Not as tired so far today.

I had an idea, I checked my preworkout and the caffeine is from green coffee bean extract. I checked my other caffeine and it’s a different form trademarked as innovatea, it actually comes from tea leaves. So a tea caffeine hits me better than a green coffee bean caffeine. That’s interesting. It’s just that now I can’t find this innovatea ingredient anymore.

Kind of getting a feel for how this is working. I’ll get some of those love bomb days moments and at other times I’ll also get the lower moods. Yesterday I was talking monotone at one point. Tonight I realized that’s just the ebb and flow of the limits being destroyed and then reaching back into that LBFH. All part of the process. So I will stick with 3 mins LBFH/DRLD custom on the next listen as well. No major recon. I’m thinking I might need 3 listens per listening time to make sure things are worked out before upping to 5 mins.

I definitely plan on Limitless next cycle. That will boost just about everything for me. Time to learn and apply those learnings, get more practical. I’d definitely like to boost my income from something other than a job where I trade time for money.

4 months with Paragon was great. I overcame the issues I wanted to. Got me back in the game with my physical fitness program.

#407

Day 13: 15 mins Paragon.

Woke up just feeling a little lighter today. Must have dropped some more limits.

I’m gonna try 5 mins LBFH/DRLD next listen. Still no major or long lasting recon. Just very short discomfort at times if anything. Like a low mood, haven’t had much or any anxiety since the last lil bit came up a few days ago.

I’m really looking forward to going back through some courses while on Limitless. I seemed to have blocks to some of the questions. I’ve always had imagination and brains but I think I shut them off because I didn’t want to stand out. People can get jealous and shady if you’re happy and creative and all that, at least it used to seem that way. Those gifts belong to everyone, everyone has them but if they can’t get out the program then they wanted to bring down anyone who did. So it’s the next step to breaking out of hermit mode and getting back to magic and abundance.

Like those questions you see, if you already had what you wanted, what would you do? If you had the million dollars what would you do? Just typing it right now seems more free just to explore imagination. Things seem to be flowing and ideas actually come up. So it must have been a limiting thought. Now I can entertain such questions, I just have to build that new habit.

after work:

A couple days ago I looked at this chick’s pictures. The one who I wanted to ask out until I got ghosted, because she already has her forever partner. So I looked at her photos and I felt good because I’m actually better looking that her man. So any reasons I never got the chicks I wanted had more to do with my own perceived limitations than anything.

Also the last couple nights of work, I got done working and was a lil sad/depressed. Tonight it hit me that if I had to guess I’d say I’m focused at work and don’t need to think. Just do my work. Then when I’m done and going home, I’m going back to my life of limitation. At least that’s what it was up until now.

So I’m going to stick with 3 minutes of LBFH/DRLD next cycle. I think I’m still at a sweet spot.

end of night:

I am probably going to take Ascension for a spin. I already have it in my downloads, never used it. I am self employed and was under the impression that I wouldn’t have to file, because I was told somebody else didn’t have to file because they made under a certain number. Well I did too, but it turns out it’s different for self income. So I did fail in taking someone’s advice who doesn’t really know. Well, we both got to find out they’re wrong. Luckily, not a big deal this time. And it’s a good mistake to make now before I’m making lots of money. It’s a reminder to make sure I know what’s what and to keep the finances in check and know what’s what.

So I’ll have to cut back on all spending until I have an exact number of what I’m gonna be paying in April. I expect it won’t be much but I’ll still have to budget for it. Which makes it a perfect time to run Ascension. It has body shifting and will help me stay disciplined with working out. It’ll also have me re-examining things and blasting through more limitations. Seeing where I can do better and what I can make work for me.

#408

Day 14: No listening.

1 week left of this cycle.

I think I may have to go with Primal next cycle, it’s the most updated Alpha in my bag. Ascension will wait until update. I think I’ll benefit much more from the social side of

Primal this time around. And I’ve seen reports of it helping with conversation and social calibration. I can definitely build on the increased social calibration I’ve been experiencing the last few cycles. I think being off Paragon will give me some of that brain juice back as well. So even though it’s not Limitless which was my plan, it’s still gonna be a great run.

———

I was taking my laundry basket upstairs and i walked into the kitchen. That was probably out of habit since it was morning and i always go to the microwave to make tea. Then i had another moment where my brain was faster than my talking. So I’m going to consider Limitless the best investment in myself right now. I’m just gonna go for it. I’m sure the benefits will pay for itself. Doing some self study personal development courses is gonna be great. The problem solving and social aspects will be tremendous. So it’s just the biggest bang for my buck. Limitless it is.

I’m feeling freer in that I feel like I kinda want to livestream. Limitless is the first step, then I could test out Stark if I really feel like that’s something I want to try out.

Last couple days I’ve been having moments of wishing I had friends again. The people I do talk to were busy I guess and weren’t getting back to me. When I’m on Limitless that won’t matter because I’ll be on task learning. I’m really looking forward to that again.

end of night:

my shoulder has a little pain. I think from pushups and probably from my job. I tend to use the one arm to vacuum. So it looks like I will have to go back to wall pushups after all. Also will be working on those rotator cuffs to fix any imbalances. I was just getting happy with my progress and increasing reps on pushups. But since I don’t like time off due to injury, it’s my next area I gotta go back and build from the ground up. Elbow pain has been gone for maybe a month now. I didn’t even keep up the exercises for it. I think starting the pushups helped it by strengthening the triceps and tendons.

Another cool thing was that I didn’t wear any of my support shirts or shorts to work this weekend. My glutes were sore from all the bending down to pick things up. It was a good sign that my muscles are being retrained properly, so the glutes are doing the work instead of being sore in my lower back.

#409

Day 15: 3 mins LBFH/DRLD custom.

Woke up from a dream where I was in a work situation. It was kind of like my mind pulled together all these different things, so it wasn’t like a place I actually worked or the people. It seems like it was finally breaking down some work traumas maybe. Just dealing with the shittiness of people. People were just being dicks so instead of not saying anything I just gave it back and wasn’t worried about getting fired. But I wasn’t gonna back down and made it funny. And then I realized I’d made a mistake with my work so I went to go find a supervisor and ask for help.

I was out to the store. I noticed some people are just open to my energy. Like you can drive by and you look at them and they look back and are giving those friendly signals. Like friend vibes.

I also noticed as I was walking around the store that I felt this sense of freedom, yet I wasn’t quite comfortable with it. Maybe part of me still holding on to the old habits and insecurities. So I’d call that some recon.

I’ve still had some urges that get me to wish I was further along in my journey. Further along to where I was back on a seduction title. I’ve made some moves and nothing’s panned out yet. But I’m also not caring about getting denied or making moves. I also move on like instantly, if a woman is not interested, I just move on. I won’t waste my time or energy.

If Ascension was updated I might go for that because it seems to be more well rounded. But I’m looking forward to Limitless next cycle. That will be just as good for me. It will be a matter of me getting back into learning and using that knowledge to better my life. Also will be happy to start up a meditation practice again. I’m out of practice. At any rate, it’s the next piece to my ever strengthening foundation.

End of night:

I started listening to How to Win Friends and Influence People. I think this should be required reading in school. I read it once because a few people said it was their favorite book, and it still comes up occasionally to this day. I’ll be going through it 10 times and it will stay on my books I go through every year. I actually think it’s better than Think and Grow rich, another highly recommended book. Even millionaires who say they don’t believe in that book still say they read it (Think and Grow Rich) like 10 times. I read that one once too. I like The Science of Getting Rich more though. But the book that finally had me saving and a little investing was The Richest Man in Babylon. I think it was last year I had that book on repeat for Jan/Feb.

#410

Day 16: No listening.

I had a bunch of cool dreams again. Dealing with women. Lots of limitations must be clearing up for me around that topic.

Normally I like to finish a cycle with 15 mins. But I’m only gonna do my last listen with 7 mins of LBFH/DRLD custom.

Evening:

Feeling a little restless. Sore but I gotta do a light workout anyway. Restless because I wish I had reliable good friends to talk to. The thing about a small circle is that, well, if they’re busy they’re busy. So that has me looking forward to having Limitless in the mix. I’ll put that increased brainpower to good use, reading, learning studying. When i do have downtime I’m sure I’ll be meditating or letting go more. I’ll be more focused and just have more juice to do it with.

Also have been slightly cranky at times today. Probably ready for that 5 day break with no listening. I don’t think caffeine is the answer for me, for more energy boost. I don’t want to rely on it. So Limitless will give me new avenues and ideas on that as well. Meditation could be the answer, actually.

Physical: I haven’t done pushups this week. I’m taking the week off. Focusing on shoulder rotators this week. Next week I’ll try the wall pushups for warmup and find out if I can just do some heavy shoulder press variation instead. That would also keep up the strength work for my triceps, which seems to be the key to keeping the elbow pain away. I can throw and punch without pain. It’s just that it wouldn’t develop my muscles like pushups will. I was definitely enjoying the better looking midsection.

end of night:

I’m wishing I didn’t have to choose between Limitless and Spartan. But Limitless is gonna win. We’ll see how 4 cycles go. LBFH/DRLD is gonna stay for 12 cycles. I’m just gonna stick to that one this year.

Skimmed through the Limitless thread again. Has reignited my enthusiasm. Workout motivation has never been a problem for me. I’ll continue to take it slow and listen to my body. Limitless has some storytelling component and reading, all kind of goodies. I’ll make great use of my downtime, in fact I may have less downtime, no more wishing I was out with friends who had time. I won’t have time, I’ll be learning and working towards all my goals!

#411

Day 17: 15 mins Paragon.

The dreams have come back. I remember them when I wake up but they fade away. I don’t recall them now. But vivid dreams like nightly.

Really ready to get to Limitless. 10 days til new cycle.

#412

Day 18: no listening.

I was able to get like 10 hours of sleep. Looots of dreams. I don’t remember them again.

I still feel like I got behind everybody in terms of titles. I was on healing when the new updates were coming out. So nobody that I see is doing Limitless. The thread has kind of died out for now so once again, I’ll be on my own. Maybe it’s better that way. But it seems like many of the titles I run the threads have died out already, lol. But it just gets me to be more present with my own experience because that’s really all I’ve got anyway.

I’ve noticed at time through the day lately, that I seem to be doing some emotional releasing on the unconscious level. Like yesterday I noticed that my eyes were very slightly wanting to tear up, but I didn’t feel like crying. Right now I’ve been having feelings come up about the ex, but I’m not really attached to them anymore. Limits being destroyed.

Lol. I’m having a lot of that ex stuff come up today. It actually has me seriously considering just saying screw it and trying 30 seconds of Heartsong next cycle, for the whole cycle.

Haha! Yep, I’m just gonna go for HS finally. If I don’t it seems like those issues will still be there surfacing during Limitless. Getting that junk out of the way will really free some more life force.

#413

Day 19: 5 mins LBFH/DRLD custom.

Went with 5 mins for my last listening of the custom, this cycle. One more day with Paragon then I start my 5 days off.

I’m looking forward to HB. Really gonna get to the title I been putting off since it came out. I’m just ready for the healing. And I saw somebody report that the self love healing goes deeper than regular LB. Since I’m on LBFH/DRLD custom, I’m gonna take it slow for sure. Planning to start off with 1 minute.

#414

Day 20: No listening.

Got some killer back pain last night after work. It’s way up high. I’ve never had pain that are of my back before. I was doing some shoulder exercises with a band. That’s actually the are that might be sore. But I hadn’t done any of that since wednesday.

Then 2 days later it hits like back pain? I guess it’s possible. I’ve never done those exercises. That’s why I like to take things slow when it comes to working out.

But yea I’m not 100% sure what the cause was. When I would lay down at times it would just tighten up and hurt like heck. Finally I started letting go and the tension went away enough to fall asleep eventually.

But now today, walking around it kind of tightens and hurts and I make a little sound, lol. So it’s better but I’m hoping it’s not sore again after work. Took some aspirin and put some pain relief cream on it, to hopefully make work a little less painful today.

I was doing band pull apart holds and then going through the motion like I’m doing pushups or bench pressing, just standing up. So that is where the pain is. I used a light band. Did 25 reps on monday. Then I only did 5 reps Tues and Wed, and just took the rest of the week off. I was sore but not in the back at all. It wasn’t like I was straining myself either. But it was a new exercise to hopefully take care of the shoulder pain so I can keep doing pushups.

Well I guess I did 25 reps on wed. I did 5 of the band pull apart hold things. Then I do like five different variations for 5 reps each. And the muscle soreness hits two days later? Though I’ve had that recently as well. I never had muscle soreness just show up days later rather than the next day. But could be a part of getting a lil older.

I’m feeling pretty good despite being tired from being up from the back pain. Feeling like maybe Limitless is the way to go. I got 5 days off but in any even I’d be okay with doing a coin toss to make my final decision- Limitless or HS. I am feeling that confidence to meet a special lady. So HS still seems the way to go. I think any HS healing would be of most benefit. I could definitely use some junk clearing to get clear on what I really want. I don’t have one woman that I’m into these days. At times my attractions drops off for certain women.

Evening:

Work went fine. No back pain at all, zero. I got home and layed down to do my 5 minutes of square breathing. Well, the painful back spasm situation is back. It doesn’t feel like anything with the structural of my back. So I can only assume possible strained or pulled muscle. I had a pulled muscle about a month ago at work in the same area but it didn’t really bother me.

I decided to listen to Paragon for 30 seconds while waiting for the aspirin to kick in again. I’m expecting a painful night of sleeping. At least when I try to move. It will just tighten up and hurt for a second when I’m laying down and move in the wrong position. I can lay on my side, but I do listen to a guided meditation and I lay on my back for that. Maybe I’ll try it sitting down before bed tonight.

At this rate I’m planning to continue Paragon at 30 seconds next cycle. I get to listen to 15 minutes tomorrow and then it’s 5 days without it. I wouldn’t expect the painful back to last that long though. Not sure what to do about exercising now. I can walk but I don’t want to stretch or aggravate the back. Another unplanned few days off again, possibly. This seeming misfortune is also making a case for Spartan Apex, but I wonder if I’d get recon if I have to take a week off working out.

End of night: I think the Peaters as they’re called got me on one. I was doing aspirin 3x a week on the days I work. I think it has irritated my stomach and caused me some diarrhea for the last week. So I’m stopping the aspirin. The Peaters are the guys who do things like the honey diet and eat large amounts of sugar and still lose weight because it raises the metabolism or something. So like, coffee and aspirin are some of their things. They also do coconut oil with the sugar since it digests kinda like a sugar. Nothing with the sugar just sugar or with coconut oil.

So I tried out the aspirin, 3x a week. For me, I think I need to drop it. Only use it when I need for like pain or headache. I couldn’t figure it out this week and I think I finally found the culprit.

The back spasms thrown me for a loop. Like a month ago I had a pulled muscle or strain in the same area. But It really didn’t bother me at all. I was still able to work out. So maybe starting the new shoulder exercises have irritated it again. I was also hitting the lats and chest with some band work too I forgot about. But didn’t not bother me at the time.