ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#375

Day 6: No listening.

Woke up from a nightmare, sometime early am, heart pounding. Don’t remember what it was about.

Still really excited to get my loops in with the LBFH/DRLD custom. Second listen is tomorrow. 30 seconds.

I ended up accidentally listening to LBFH/DRLD custom for 5-10 seconds. If I play my ipod without selecting a playlist it just plays songs in alphabetical order I think. And since a few of those first songs are on a playlist I usually listen to, I forgot I wasn’t actually playing a playlist.

I still seem to be in hibernation mode, yet I couldn’t sleep all day if I tried. Short days and I work at night. I feel better in the summer. So it’s probably just a winter thing. I might have to start prioritizing that 20-30 minute walk as the first thing I do in the day. It has been getting lost in the shuffle. If I do my other workout in the day then I plan to walk in the evening it hasn’t been getting done.

When I think about dating I still go back to either just having fun or I’d just like to find a cool woman who is fine with me and how I live my life. No need for games or having to argue and fight to keep her from being bored. So I’m still thinking about Heartsong occasionally. I think that’d be my best fit for dating/seduction. But I’m thinking Primal Seduction would be eye opening as well.

I definitely am closer to going back to a wealth focus title as well. I think the new Genesis Joy title has me leaning towards a wealth title also. But I’m sticking to my two titles for four cycles. I don’t want to add anything just yet. If I did it would only be at 30 second loops as well.

I have been noticing a lightness in my body at times. I’m talking physically. Like if you’ve ever trained or lifted or whatever. Sometimes your body just feels light, and you can tell your training is having a positive effect. Like I’m in the mood to get back to jumping and stuff but I will err on the side of caution and just stick to what I’m doing. I still am not fully conditioned to where I’d like to be just yet. But I did add in warming up with a basketball and tossing a ball against the wall. Definitely helps bring back some of that athletic quality to things.

#376

Day 7: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD custom.

Some controversy just a quick quote from Eckhart Tolle, though it’s just a variation from any number of sages/enlightened types.

“Situations don’t make you unhappy. They may cause you physical pain, but they don’t make you unhappy. Your thoughts make you unhappy. Your interpretations, the stories you tell yourself make you unhappy.”

The thing is we’ve believed our thoughts that it is what we think it is. You’re doing it to me. I think it’s important to remember that nobody is doing it to themselves on purpose. Intellectual understanding is not enough, it must come via realization, a lived experience. You can tell people that all day, but only when they themselves realize it does it change their world. I see all these people who’ve argued with me and jumped on me when I said something while quoting someone else. Not here, just in general. So I always wonder what it would have been like if they got to talk to the original guys themselves.

There was a time in the early days before I ever tried a subliminal… I was a big believer in love and non-reaction. Like when somebody got triggered and would think they could take it out on me, I wouldn’t react. I’d try to maintain that love feeling. And many times the person saw the error in their actions and words and they probably never apologized but I could tell they realized something. Many even completely changed their tune with me, but luckily, in my opinion, I never saw any of them again. If I did someone else got to deal with them.

Had bosses who loved to do drive-bys. They just had this need to voice their displeasures and opinions, but of course they weren’t opinions they were the absolute reality. Well, they never realized that if it was reality wouldn’t we all experience it the same way? Would we all have the same opinion? I always thought upholding my values and all that was the right way. As time went on, I feel like walking away has always been the right call, usually. I tended to stay in situations seeing the best and hoping others would see I’m not the problem, existing is a problem? But I only hurt myself by staying too long and getting battered and bloodied against the ropes so to speak. Some of us just had to learn the hard way. Then eventually if we keep at it, we find our way.

Lol. Sometimes I still have challenges with this person in my life. Just like with the cat, when I think he’s a good boy he always lets me know that I must have gotten complacent. Nope, he not a good boy, he’s a cat. So I really do end up saying less to this person, but the other option is to really think about what I’m going to say. I have to carefully word things, so naturally, I do sometimes. Just like if I want to mention something off hand or ask about anything I’ll just go you know what I’m not gonna tempt that pandora’s box. I just asked a question and they kind of snapped back at me, of course in the tone that I was wrong and I didn’t know it, lol. But I didn’t react to it. Just got me back on my toes. I guess I will just have to be more clever and try things, but at the same time I don’t want anything besides just to make normal small talk sometimes. That’s why I don’t react, because I’m not trying to be right, and even if I know I still ask a question but it’s answered in a way that i’m wrong and i didn’t know that, even if i did. lol.

Ideally I’d like to stack Will To Power with LBFH/DRLD custom. I think the protective scripting and Love and remove and disconnect with toxic people from DRLD would pair up with The Will To Power. It’s not even that I want power over others. They just make it seem that it’s a necessity. Or the other route is just have total non-reaction and attain imperturbability which is really my goal. Which is why I have resilience because I know that’s not most people’s interest. They’re caught in the program and it’s not even up to me to get them out of it. I guess I might have some hints of the humor from LBFH or the laughter and I also have song of joy. It’s been awhile since I really had that humor as a part of my personality.

I didn’t take the previous interaction personally. I wasn’t even bothered. Bounced back and threw in some humor.

I’m also thinking that my next stack might be the new Genesis Happiness and joy title and The Will To Power. I think that will be important for me. It will have to come before the money and women. It’ll probably help me with that. Paragon now seems to be my set title for 12 cycles.

#377

Day 8: No listening.

Had more dreams. I have the sense that parts are being resolved. I don’t remember the details just that after waking that is the idea I had from the dreams. Like maybe those not so helpful parts or beliefs, identities, are being taken care of and won’t be a problem or something like that.

I’ve heard vernon howard and others talk about don’t help people. I was under the impression since a kid that we came here to change the world. I found that it seems to be more about changing ourselves because we are the world kind of thing. I want to recommend things that helped me books, programs, subs. Yet I don’t think offline anyway, anyone has ever taken me up on a suggestion. So the route of me looking at the outside world and deciding what’s wrong, it’s not even that there’s no decided it is wrong! Is really not the way to go. If I depend on the outer to be the way that I want then I am a slave to it, I am at it’s mercy. Yet that is never true if I have discovered the inner life. Something beyond thoughts and ideas and right or wrong etc. Yet one can never truly convey that to another, it’s a realization. Oh, and the other part of don’t help people that many have said is, if they come to you for help then you can help them of course. But even then people will ask you for help as long as you don’t have time, they know it’s a no. But when you have the time all of the sudden they don’t want the help.

Yea just being non-reactive and lightening up is nice. I like that way of being.

I’m thinking now that Quantum Limitless should get serious consideration for my next long term major. To have that would also go a long way in helping me in any direction. Money, Learning, Understanding, Dealing with people. Helping get the brain in tip top shape. I think it would be way better for me to start off with that instead of going to the power or sex or anything else. I’ve tried those routes and have grown but after Khan Black, Quantum Limitless seems like the next right step.

As far as physical it seems to be a bit more of a rest week than I planned. I’d rather be hibernating more than anything. I will make an effort to do my physical exercise one of the first things I do in a day. The later it gets the less chance I will do it because I’ll be tired.

It appears as though I’ve planned my course. After 4 cycles with LBFH/DRLD custom. I will switch over to Quantum Limitless. I will use the new Genesis Joy Happiness title for the first run through. Second run through of QL I will onboard Alchemist Singularity.

My first post Christmas listen of LBFH/DRLD will get nudged up to 1 minute 30 seconds. I plan to finish out the cycle at that. Then I will incrementally increase listening time on it next cycle.

End of night:

I guess I had a few people I gave audios too. The last person I thought was my friend from work. I gave him a couple audios, but he ended up ghosting me either because he didn’t get my sense of humor or he fell victim to other people who fell victim to the rumor clique bs. Then another guy I used to work with a long time ago I gave him some audios to help him with dating. He actually listened to them too. Then the last person I tried to tell about subliminals, many years ago I had this course on learning or genius or something and a few other things. He listened to them. Never did the exercises or really studied. Never got any thank you that really helped me though. I just felt like yea this could really help this person. But nowadays not so much. I wish I had eventide module in my custom. I’d like to be more private and just keep things to myself more. Not that I have a bunch of people to tell stuff to anyway.

#378

Day 9: 15 mins Paragon.

Had lots of dreams again. It really seems like even at 30 seconds I’m getting effects from LBFH/DRLD custom. I was surprised by the dream I woke up from to start the day. It was one of those I didn’t know that was in there kind of things.

Now, it has a couple past cycles to work with, however. But that was like a year ago when I last listened to it.

I don’t have any signs of recon from it at 30 seconds. Looking forward to bumping it up next week to 1:30.

Also, this AM I’m really wishing I was on a seduction title. KB sexual energy still high.

Still in hibernation mode. Gotta really push myself to workout. Also may have to just do the bare minimums again, coast through the last 11 days of the year. It was just last week when I was feeling like I wanted to start up kettlebells again, and the last couple of days where I could at least jump rope again. I did add in some very brief high intensity but light athletic stuff. Throwing a ball against a well, like a chest past focusing on speed and power. Some ball slams. That’s probably what it was, I need to get used to high intensity again.

I don’t want to add a third title to this stack. But if in a few cycles I feel it worth experimenting with, I’d probably choose TWTP. I wouldn’t want to add any extra healing, and I could finally sample TWTP. It’s been on my list for a long time and I think this custom would be what I’d want to stack it with. I’m definitely still planning for QL as my title to run for 12 cycles, so all of next year.

I think I’m just going to be quite happy with my LBFH/DRLD custom this time around. Because it’s only in a two title stack. I’m also starting slow and taking it easy, letting Paragon be the priority.

#379

Day 10: No listening.

This AM is the first time I’ve gotten what I call that LBFH goodness. Feeling the love and feeling good.

End of night: Had a good night at work. Been awhile. I was focused and mind mostly quiet. I could say I may have seen hints of Formless Clarity and Inner Voice today.

#380

Day 11: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD custom.

I’m really curious to find out how Long-Range Seduction will play out in my custom. I randomly thought of someone from my past, and it was about how we were sort of courting. I guess now it’s called a situationship. But she’s married with a kid now so I don’t entertain that anymore.

With how that intuition works when I’ve been dialed in, there were times in the past if I randomly thought of someone I would be expecting them to be the next person I’d see, or stuff like that. It tended to happen that way. It was really subtle but it would happen so much. Or like when I used to have regular friends I’d message, I’d randomly think of them right before they’d message me. It still happens but not to the extent it used to. I haven’t had any really good intuition moments for awhile, but I also don’t have people that I need to talk to on a daily basis anymore. That’s probably one of the factors I’m thinking, if it’s people I’d see or talk to regularly. Although now that I think of it, meditation used to be a regular thing for me. I don’t actively meditate anymore as a practice.

Evening:

I seem to be having some of the healing effects. Slightly raw but not intense emotionally. I would guess Path of Forgiveness has finally come forth consciously on some level. Though LBFH and DRLD cores probably have their own healing as well. There’s been some seeing situations in new ways, I don’t recall specifics and that was just in the last couple of hours. I was also watching a tv show so some of the mood music brought things up at times.

#381

Day 12: No listening.

I’ve had a few women stare at me. At the time I didn’t want to say it was maybe some LBFH but maybe. It happened multiple times. I didn’t get the sense that they were attracted to me in a sexual way. But definitely some staring at me.

I’m feeling a little lighter in terms of my vibe or energy. Still grounded mostly.

I noticed even if my mind does start to rev up into anxiousness or whatever, my body stays relaxed. So I’ll just work with that more. Just focus on my relaxed body rather than trying to mess with the mind.

#382

Day 13: 15 mins Paragon.

I weighed myself and I’m at what was was always my max weight. I fit into my lowest size pants again. And I know I haven’t put on 30 pounds of muscle in say the last 10 years. So that’s throwing me for a loop. I don’t have big muscles like a bodybuilder either. At my size I would say I should be 30 pounds lighter on the scale. But I would say there’s no way I have 30 pounds of fat to drop anymore. The way I train, well this year, hasn’t even been lifting weights either. I do plan to start walking with a weighted vest though I think adding that will just help out my walking.

Last night I was laying in bed and wanted to tune into my body. I found that there was still tension for what I was thinking was relaxation. So then I guess that was my intent to check in with my body. And then had some big tension releases from the body. Like I’d get some big TRE type stuff happening. So I will continue to work with that, more focus on relaxing the body especially during those resting times.

lol. It doesn’t happen very often anymore, but once again I’ve been struck with the “I wish I had somebody to talk to.” It’s Christmas eve and everybody is busy. So I’m not going to double message. I guess that’s the Q for me to get this workout in.

End of night:

I was searching the threads for info about individual experiences with the modules in my custom.

I don’t have either of these modules but I seem to have gotten those effects before subs. I was considering suggesting a grey man module so I can just go by and blend in and not stand out. But I think NSE probably covers that now as far as guiding the subs. Codename: Umbra to keep away the dangerous types. I think Primal covered the bases well for me too, I just liked how I was grounded and unbothered and I don’t recall any unwanted attention on New Primal.

“Entranced and/or Ethereal Presence give you the Inception vibes.
Remember when everyone looked at DiCaprio in the dream because the subject noticed he was infiltrating the dream?
Yup, that.
Be prepared to be stared and ogled at everywhere. Some people look irritated, others VERY interested. Either way, you’ll have the eyes on you”

#383

Day 14: No listening.

Got a text his am from someone who used to be one of my best friends. In recent years I finally detached and accepted that that was done. So it’s been a few years since any contact. Got a message and he says I love you man. Hahaha. Is this some LBFH juice? I don’t know.

Oh and this is the first year I got 0$ for Christmas. But I did get the car last month so the car is probably better than $100 Christmas cash anyway.

Last month I bough something on marketplace. So I went to this lady’s office to pick it up. And she was talking to me like how you might think a spiritual person would talk. Like she reminds me of the lady who does the sounds true voice lady. So I was just naturally chill vibing and soft talking too. Then when I was leaving I was talking normally and she snapped out of it and talked normal. So I think maybe she saw my fb profile and i think she’s a business sales lady. So she must have had a preconceived notion of what i was like, lol. I just thought that was kind of funny. People get some idea of you from a social media page, and for me it’s not an identity. Like yea I am into that stuff but it doesn’t mean I’m like what you think is stereotypical. But I guess many people are and so a sales person might know that. Me I tend to take things in the moment, as they are but many don’t so that’s where I used to get tripped up with people.

Been having some slight nerve pains from the back. So I think it’s time to try the isometric self adjustments. Just simple stuff to help out the sacroiliac joint. That seems to be the issue when my back has had issues. Here’s just a simple thing in case anyone was interested. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czjZ2rEfGtI

End of night: I’m going to stick with 30 seconds of LBFH/DRLD custom for the rest of this cycle. Only one week left. I’ll start increasing listening time next cycle. Just to keep it simple. Maybe also an exercise in self discipline and sticking to the plan.

#384

Day 15: 30 seconds of LBFH/DRLD custom.

Now my plans might be changing again. I’m thinking about just running my current titles for 12 cycles each.

Paragon is just a good idea for a 12 cycle run.

My LBFH/DRLD custom would be quite magical from 12 cycles.

Though a third title would come in later, probably. I guess I’m still in what I like to consider Foundation mode. Based on my experience it’s better for me to go long term. When I finally get to the money or seduction or whatever titles, I’ll be able to benefit more and take the right actions.

I guess I could do QL for 30 second listens. I really want to do that title but it seems my current stacks are more important right now. I guess we’ll check back in after 4 cycles (of LBFH/DRLD custom). Nothing is changing in my stack until then.

I’m also taking a cognitive hit today. I guess i still need to catch up on sleep from a few days ago. 3 days ago it was 6 hours of sleep. Then like 9. Today was like 7 or 8. I have typed words, the right spoken words, but the incorrect written words a few times now. lol.

I’m gonna get my workout in now and try for a nap.

I woke up today with a sore right chest and shoulder. It appears I was tossing and turning while I slept last night. Dreams weren’t nightmares that I remember, but maybe a little on that end. Working through some murky waters I suppose.

End of night:

And again being at work, getting out of the house by myself seems to do the trick. Wasn’t feeling great but fairly focused and feel a little better.

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#385

Day 16: No listening.

5 days left in this cycle. I’m feeling ready to start increasing listening time on LBFH/DRLD. 1 more listening day, I could try out 3 minutes.

#386

Day 17: 15 mins Paragon.

I think after 4 cycles I will switch to 30 seconds on my two titles. Then, bring on QL. That way I still can keep running them without too much density. I really want to get the nervous system benefits and hormone balancing and just brain benefits of QL. I think that is really going to help me out. I probably should have run that title first.

I think maybe it’s best we don’t remember our dreams sometimes. I get some quick flashes and it’s like bizarre stuff sometimes. Like where does that even come from.

My friend who messaged me on Christmas hasn’t messaged back anything yet. But luckily I’m free from that attachment. I don’t expect anything anyway. That’s just a nice place to be. Not bothered.

evening:

I thought I was going to enjoy eating lots of anything. But I’m ready to get back to the routine. I’ve got plans to tweak my keto diet so I can get a low bodyfat percentage. When I was younger I never had the flashy six pack abs and I always wanted that. So maybe I’ll see what I can do this year. I find that I prefer to be on keto and eating junk just isn’t what it used to be.

I’m also tired, lots of lounging. I’m looking forward to going to work now since I’ve been so tired. I know I’ll probably feel better and clear my head a big. Shake out the cobwebs so to speak.

A couple days ago I got the mini trampoline out and jumped for one minute. I could tell that it’s good for the ankles and I’ll have to ease back into it but at least I’m jumping again. Have not been walking though. I’ve just been doing very bare minimum exercise this week. Basically a rest week.

I’m also finishing up two months of no caffeine. I almost reached for it these last two days because I’ve been so tired. But I plan to use it sparingly and not rely on it like I was. I think I will start off by adding in some matcha for the nutrients and lower caffeine. Around 3pm is when I could use a little boost the most.

I definitely have been anticipating the increase in listening time to LBFH/DRLD custom. I think I’ve reached mostly acceptance with the ex thing that was so sticky. It still comes up in thought but nothing I feel needs to be talked about or mentioned in my journal. Also at this time I would say I no longer have any women I truly desire any longer. At times there still is some pull towards Heartsong. But I’ve got the custom to keep me busy. You Are Not Alone module is in there and I’d like to see where that goes.

After job work 1: feel better now. At work i was thinking dang could it be stagnant energy at my place of residence? I feel better at work than after a workout usually.

Now that I’m home I feel some loneliness. I’m like, Solitude module activate! Maybe it is. Resolving.

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#387

Day 18: No listening.

I got a 100 dollar bill from the place I clean for Christmas yesterday. But I’m not going to make that new custom anymore. Too early to purchase QL. So I might just play the game of thinking of what I could buy with 100, and i really could! That’s one of those Abraham Hicks games I think, some LOA action.

Another day of feeling tired. Work was okay. I like that I’m able to focus on work and there’s a new thing where I just sort of dial in and don’t even look at the clock. It’s not important for me anyway. I got a job to do I do it and I get done in the time I’ve always gotten it done.

Mostly sleeping 7-8 hours. I prefer 9 or at least I’d like to be able to get a nap in. But naps still seem to be rare. The other day, maybe it was yesterday I fell asleep and immediately got woken up by some noise. I think I fell asleep again so maybe got 15 minute nap.

I had another moment of Formless Clarity. I think that was this am maybe. Some slight LBFH goodness today.

Evening:

I have had a theme lately that I hadn’t put my finger on until this evening. Lust. I would have thought KB would have wiped that out. I would classify it as a limitation, however. Therefore DRLD may have brought it up to be eliminated.

#388

Day 19: 01:30 of LBFH/DRLD custom.

One minute and thirty seconds. I wanted to try out a little more listening time for my last day with LBFH/DRLD this cycle.

I’m planning to start off with 3 minutes next cycle. Will probably try 15 minutes too.

I was doing a little driving today through downtown. I felt aliveness in my body. It’s better than being tired. There wasn’t much going on but I just felt kind of alive being in the hustle and bustle traffic. Alchemist Singularity would probably be good to clear up some stuff. It’s like that aliveness and anxiety are on the same coin. I guess what I call anxiety is probably just that aliveness tipped over into overwhelm and worry.

I also noticed some increased sensitivity today. It was like I wanted to cry, more so in my eyes rather than in the feelings. I think it is some release and effect of Path of Forgiveness. Like as I would make eye contact with people I noticed just being a bit more sensitive. Also noticed later I was feeling good about people.

It seems I’m experiencing some slight growing pains, of the emotional variety. Just a notch up. I think the healing/recon has kicked in. Nothing major. Just primed for growth it appears. All part of the process. I think if one were to remain comfortable or in homeostasis, nothing changes, it remains the same. So some stress or even discomfort shakes things up a bit. Like getting stronger. You may have to increase intensity or weight to get more stimulus for that strength increase.

#389

Day 20: no listening.

I think I’ve made a stage one for myself with LBFH/DRLD custom. I wanted to dive into higher listening times next cycle. But I might stay at 1:30. Just may want to take it slow.

Yesterday I was bouncing around a little, warming up. It felt so good. I was like loose and limber. I like to have those qualities of being agile, quick, loose, explosive, instead of being stiff and bulky.

I noticed I’ve added self love as a practice, just felt natural and wasn’t like I should because I’m on LBFH. Also notice more moments where I’m exploring just being, without thought, I think I’m taking to Formless Clarity pretty nicely. Also noticing how yea, I think I am getting more relaxed in my body and releasing tensions. I’m still happy with the LBFH/DRLD custom.

#390

Day 21: 15 mins Paragon.

That wraps up the cycle. Cycle 3 of Paragon. Cycle 1 of LBFH/DRLD custom.

A little cranky today, and last night. I’ve been tired and I’m ready to get back into the routine. My social battery needs to be recharged with some solitude. But, one more day of guests.

Daredevil might have been a good title for the last month. My custom seems to be healing for sure, and I was feeling the love bomb when i woke up. But when I found out we have one more night of company I kind of got cranky.

#391

Day 1 of 5 no listening.

The tiredness seems to have broke today, finally. I spent some time doing focused releasing on it yesterday evening.

I don’t feel 100% but I’ve decided to get back on caffeine. This, after 2 months of no caffeine. I’ll start with 50 mg at 2pm daily.

LBFH seems to be at work. I walked in the store today and a young girl was looking at me, kind of with wonder. At the checkout and older woman who seemed closed off, maybe a little worried about strangers. But as I was standing there I could tell she felt like she could be at ease around me.

I’ll finish out the week and then get back to keto. It doesn’t even seem like it’s hard now, giving up the carbs. I think my body just does better on keto anyway. In the summer I plan to experiment with adding in some carbs again.

I cracked the case on my fatigue the last say 5 days. I started back up on this zeolite powder again. I was most likely experiencing detox symptoms. I never had a problem with it before. But I tried a liquid dropper version for a month. I would forget to take it daily and then I’d been out for a week. I got the powder again and just started taking that in the last week. Coupled with the holiday indulgence it seems it does a good job. So I won’t go back to the liquid version. I noticed in the last two days I was having detox in terms of number 2’s. I could feel my stomach at work too. So it seems it’s finally cleared out my system again.

The caffeine bumped back my afternoon crash almost 3 hours. It’s definitely not like it was. I still had about an hour where I would’ve liked to take a nap. But feeling way better than I had been.

#392

Day 2: No listening.

Today seemed to be having some of that good mood stuff going on. I’m taking a day off, I got carried away with some new exercises I did the other day. I’ve had a sore chest shoulder, from sleeping on it wrong or tossing and turning one night. Like you know how your neck sometimes gets sore from sleeping wrong, well that but just shoulder/chest on one side. The exercises I did were just too soon and just got extra sore.

I had a cool glimpse from LBFH. Yea, I think it’s gonna be interesting this time around.

I’ve been wanting to get to QL but Paragon should be good for overall health. That would include nervous system and brain and everything, maybe not as focused as QL. But maybe I’ve just been getting ahead of myself with my wanting to get on QL. The custom has LBFH/DRLD so I think that in combo with Paragon would be good as anything for my health goals.

If anything I’d like to add New Mind’s Eye to the mix and really see what’s possible.

If anything from DRLD I’d say I might be getting some of the confidence boost. I’m sure other things that just haven’t jumped out into words yet.

#393

Day 3: no listening.

I just read through LBFH and DRLD copy again. Makes me more excited and I can see why I originally wanted these two titles together. I guess it really is like a stage 1 for me, this custom.

end of night:

I’m taking myself off injured reserve. I worked great tonight. Moving quick, feeling good. I’m back in the starting line up. It’s been like 3 months since my body seemed to be falling apart. Whatever I’m doing for working out it’s working and is transferring over to my work.

Still feeling tired more than I’d like. But I seem to be hovering between 7-8 hours of sleep. I try to nap once a day but I haven’t actually fallen asleep for a nap in like a week.

Again I’m thinking I still want to run Heartsong. It would clear out alot of stuff. I think it’s a prerequisite for me if I want to get into a relationship. I’d be coming from a different place and avoid a lot of the hassles of weeding through people to find the right one for me. I’m not gonna add anything yet. I still plan on 4 cycles as is.

I think I’m having a slight perceptual shift today. Things are different but I can’t say how. My dreams seem to have been working through some things again. Some limits may have been removed and now it’s just that rebalancing part. Nothing major. Just a bit of a void I’d say. Maybe a slight melancholy, perhaps mourning the limits that have perished. No major recon or any at all. Just whatever this is. I usually don’t get recon on washouts.

I had a dream of this chick I thought was hot. I found out she had a bf. And she ghosted me because I was flirting with her, I didn’t know she had a bf. I had a dream where she was trying to sleep with me but I couldn’t get it up. lol. I really wanted to but it wasn’t happening. So I wake up and check out her profile and yea, she doesn’t do anything for me anymore. I still go back and forth on women I like but sometimes I think I lost the attraction and there’s nothing. Then other times it comes back. So that’s why I am eyeing Heartsong. Hopefully to clear some things up around relationships and that whole thing.

I guess this is probably me gaining more clarity.

Yea seems like I’m getting more clarity in both body and mind.

#394

Tuesday I start my new cycle.

I added day 4 updates in day 3.

So this is day 5 spot…

I’m cautiously optimistic about next cycle. I thought I was going to 3 mins with LBFH/DRLD. But I think 1 minute 30 seconds will keep me busy for awhile. I don’t expect too much recon. But I still want to take it slow with that one.

I’m really happy with the pairing of LBFH/DRLD. I think I chose some nice modules that fit nicely in the mix. I definitely think I’ll be experiencing/seeing life much differently after some time with it.

I can see and feel that a lot of what I would have called negative thinking has cleared up nicely. More clear minded. Sometimes I wish I had a module for the brain/cognition boost in there.

I have been feeling some slightly increased goodwill toward others, at times. I think from the perspective of the other it might be amplified, based on the reactions I get. Just walking by someone or even general small take I noticed I might get a smile or someone just feels good. So that’s a plus. They say the secret is to make others feel good about themselves, though I don’t think we can, but that’s how we think it is. You did it to me, they did it to me, lol. So it works.

I’m considering doing 30 seconds 1x a week of the Happiness and Joy title. New cycle starts tomorrow!

end of night:

did my full workout again. I split it into first half of day and last half of day. I’m feeling a little stiff again. Not bouncing back like I would like. I’m sure I’ll be back to where I was in a week or so again. Took a week off for holiday, just did bare minimum core training. If Paragon doesn’t get the update, when I get to 6 cycles, I might just try out Spartan Apex store title. We’ll be closer to summer and I’ll want to be at peak performance during the summer.

Spartan Apex would go great with DRLD, as DRLD has reference to pursuing your goals. Spartan Apex, by way of mental strength and discipline.