Wow, it sounds like you really care. But how am I supposed to do that? Money is tight around here on my part time budget, that’s why instead of getting it today I’m waiting until the end of the year. I usually get some extra Christmas cash.
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Ah thats understandable its the same for me too, but i dont mind spending on the custom builds im about to make as they contain eog and will help me make the money back x100
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I went to my appt today to register my new used car.
The lady who waited on me was I dunno 10 or less years older than me I’d guess. She had all black hair yet. She had photos of her kids in her work space. She was actually attractive to me. At one point I wasn’t paying attention because she had been typing and filling things out.
She asked me something and I had to ask her what. I was kind of thinking she might be annoyed at first, but then I answered and she was kind of hit with my vibes and liked it. So after I answered she immediately sunk into my level of relaxation. I didn’t try and flirt with her or anything but she was pleasant and yea, she seemed like me and my vibe. More of the KB/Sanguine combo at work.
Also noticed a few respect hits again. Like people who will look down after making eye contact.
Got some new info on a food I need to avoid- almonds. I bought a big bag when I was at the store the other day. I normally buy pistachios but I like them so much they don’t last long. Almonds seem to give me indigestion. So they’re a food I’ll avoid from now on. I’ll stick to the pistachios and walnuts.
That was also a lesson. I wanted something for the sake of something different and to try to extend my dollar a little further. So I got the the almonds which are more servings per price than pistachios. So I ended up wasting my money on the almonds. In the long run it’s fine. I know what I need to avoid eating now. Now, to try and limit my pistachio intake so I can make them last. I can budget walnut servings, because I know they’re pricey, and I buy a big bag so it lasts me maybe a month and a half.
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I tried baking soda, ginger, and fennel seed to get rid of this indigestion last night. Didn’t help so I tried again today, and took some activated charcoal. So that seemed to get things moving for me. The indigestion actually caused some heart palpitations. So definitely no more almonds for me.
I also just remembered today is Day 1 of 21: New Cycle! 30 seconds of Khan Black stage 4. I might actually do 30 seconds of Paragon for good measure as well.
I only listened to 30 seconds of KB 4 but tonight after work my bad breakup hit me hard again. That finally settled and then some angry moments resurfaced, like a memory of this dorky teacher. Teachers are always right of course. So his big life tip was something like if somebody looks like they want to fight you stare them down. ahaha. So one day this dumbass thought I was going to fight him, never said anything to the guy so of course he puffs up and stares me down. ahahah. Ridiculous man. At that time I didn’t even say anything just kept on going, but man sometimes it seems like it woulda been nice to really put some people in their place. Just old junk hopefully resolving lol reconciling.
Day 2: No listening.
That’s what I forgot about with KB. When things get reconny it’s not about sex, it’s about like normal stuff. But at some point I just notice that alot of my dating/sexual baggage will be gone. But it still seems to be the bad breakup and situations with people from the past that comes up for recon.
Noooo, found out one of the women I was crushing on has a man now. There’s a couple others where it’s mutual but they like to travel a lot. I work part time and traveling does not fit in my budget, at least it doesn’t from my budget. 
But I’m not still motivated to start chasing that dollar. Getting back in shape and being healthy is still my main goal at the moment.
I have one affirmation that covers everything. But in the last couple months I changed it to focus on that I love myself. But if I lose focus momentarily I end up saying the old affirmation, so that tells me it’s in there. I’ve told it to myself so much that if I’m not fully focused I’ll start saying that old one instead of the new I love myself that I’ve been programming in.
So after finding out one of the women I actually did want has a man. I somehow got the idea to do a new affirmation. It’s like my original one but this one actually feels good. The other one yea I know everything always works out for me, but I still deal with life’s challenges and not getting what I want, but hey it still works out. Well the new statement covers that but it just feels good. So I think either way this new statement feels good so that’s gonna be more effective for me. If I don’t get what I want, oh well, I get something better! I do have real life examples of this. Like how this car situation worked out for me. That’s one example and it just happened. So I can definitely ride that wave.
Day 3: 15 mins Sanguine. 15 mins Paragon.
I forgot to do my weekly pulse check last night. But I just did it and it’s now at 76, down from a consistent 100 just 2 weeks ago. I’ve even been on a 5 day washout and still lowered it more.
I slept 10 hours last night. I was even getting down to sleeping 7 hours with no ill effects. I slept mostly 8 but then the 7’s started. Then the 10 to end/start my week. It makes sense because my hardest two days of work, I’d need more sleep.
I just got messaged from a job I applied for way earlier this year. Never heard back. But it sounds like I might be picking up some more part time hours on two of my days off. So could be picking up an extra 3-5 hours.
Day 4: No listening.
Went out shopping when I woke up. I was walking into one store and a guy saw me and he started smiling and put his head down and walked in. We weren’t close enough to exchange words or anything. So he was probably picking up on the Sanguine vibes.
I noticed a couple guys at different stores, both times they noticed me first. They were maybe more of that criminal type element, just have that kind of vibe that they bring problems. But didn’t bother me or affect me at all. Also some people seem to look at me with curiosity.
These are also stores in the past where I’ve had a lot of anxiety. A few instances in the past that led me to believe I needed some kind of psychic/spiritual protection. But I think mainly just needed that nervous system regulation and the 2:1 breathing and boxed breathing that I do daily, seems to be covering that. Also Sanguine is doing it’s job.
Evening update: was feeling relaxed around people to start the day. then i was feeling good after walking and getting in some activity. Then I was planning to nap since I only got like 6 hours of sleep last night. But a nap never happened. I was just lounging the rest of the day.
Then around dinner time I got hit with the ex/bad breakup stuff once again. That’s still my main thing that comes up. This is from one 30 second loop of KB 4. My next 30 second loop is tomorrow. But I was planning to stick on stage 3 kb for this very reason. I didn’t want to be working through any heavy emotions during the holiday time. It also seems like maybe things are collapsing, and thus dropping out of my potential reality. So to me that would mean something better is on the way. Like how I found out my crush has a man, so the cup has to be emptied to be refilled.
But at the same time the holidays are just a break in the routine, and I kinda prefer the routine. So either way it’s good in the long run, I’m working through what I need to and after holidays is what I look forward to, when things go back to “normal.”
This is also why I do enjoy my part time cleaning work. Gives me time to myself and I get to just do what I need to do, and it’s physical movement. So I can just leave the mental alone as best I can and focus on my work.
I’ve also got a book I love to study, but I don’t. Like I might read a chapter once or twice a week. I guess I’ve been seeing that as bad. There’s also something to letting things digest as well. But I’m tending to see it as lack of motivation, or discipline etc. But it is kind of always on the back burner of my mind marinating.
Day 5: 30 seconds KB 4.
I had an idea last night. Since one of my goals is to master visualization. I could practice with visualizing myself doing new exercises, since it’s too soon to actually do them. There are studies show that you can actually make improvements by visualizing yourself exercising, but for me it’s about practicing making the visualizations real to me. And I’ll get some benefits for my physical improvement as well.
In my dealings with this family member who I’ve had a challenging relationship with at times. I always say it’s due to their communication style and their own personal reality. Well I always intellectually know it’s my own beliefs/programs that cause my experience as well. But I’ve gotten to another layer of it now. So it’s like I don’t get bothered or take on their energy as much anymore. I can see that they’re just kind of running on their own intellect and it really isn’t about me. So less taking it personally and being reactive to it myself. There’s more of me seeing what’s going on and realizing I don’t need to say anything sometimes. Instead of trying to argue my point or whatever I just don’t need to start any snowballs down the mountain.
So far today, nothing came up. I’ll bump KB 4 up to 1 minute next listen. I did some cleaning around the house when I had the energy. Now after dinner, definitely winding down like I could get to sleep a few hours earlier than usual. But it is a workout day. But since I’m still feeling it I will go with the easy workout rather than the advanced long workout. Foundation Training is definitely challenging. I might be a month away of getting to 3 rounds of the advanced circuit 3x a week. I’ve only been doing 2x the advanced circuit 2x a week.
I still feel like my walking program was the missing piece in my routine. I feel good, like it gives me more energy. Today I did it a little faster than normal. At this rate I could be a jogger down the road. But I actually plan to do weighted stair walking instead of jogging when I get up to 60 minutes walking. I’ll still do 60 minute walk in the morning and stair walking will be considered a workout.
I had a little jump in results with my keto diet progress. I dropped some more fat. I am trimming down. More definition despite not doing anything but walking and Foundation Training, which is posterior chain/core focused. I noticed at the start of the week when I finally had more room in the one pair of jeans I could fit. So I might be able to fit the rest now but they’d be tight yet.
I think that’s kind of how change seems to work. Many times you might not see any results then one day it kind of just hits you, like wow I guess it really did pay off.
It’s cycle four with New Sanguine in my stack. And that’s the title I’ve been getting slightly restless with- I have had thoughts of changing it. So I think this must be the point where some deeper shifts are occurring. The old programs or whatever are feeling a little threatened and know there time is short if continue with Sanguine.
End of night. Feeling a little cranky. I’ll stick to 30 seconds on KB 4 for the next listen just to make sure.
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Day 6: No listening.
Lots of dreams last night- definitely the work of KB4. I think I will be staying put at 30 second listens of it. If I didn’t think 30 second loops did anything, I have definitely changed my mind with KB4.
I am really glad I switched to KB 4. I don’t know if it’s stage 3 bloom or KB4. But today I ran some quick errands and I just felt really good. I was feeling social but then I realized maybe I’m not calibrated yet. In the past whenever I felt really good and I’d go talk to people, most people didn’t respond positively. I think it was maybe a shock to the system having somebody who’s genuine, and happy. Gotta watch out for those nice people, always trying to get something from ya. Oh, and don’t forget about that toxic positivity.
Was also feeling just good and virile. Saw a few woman and I’d have no problem going to talk to them. But again, the calibration thing. I recalled in the past when I was happy to talk to women, that was a turn off. Like if I genuinely liked a woman and I’d go talk to her, she’d be nice and talk to me but they had zero interest. But either way today I just didn’t care because I was feeling good driving around and shopping.
Oh and that reminds me! This hasn’t happened in a few cycles. But the times when internally I’ve been feeling like I didn’t want to talk to people or be around them, that’s when I’d get the most positive responses. I think that really speaks to, I hope spoke to, the reality that a majority live in. That they are not happy. They’re not used to genuine happiness, so that scares them on some level.
I also saw a truck with a couple bumper stickers. The first one I noticed was F your feelings. Then I noticed the otherside and there was a sticker that says this planet sucks. So to me that’s someone who is conflicted. They hate that other people have feelings, that’s humans, and yet they themselves also feel enough to put both those bumper stickers on their vehicle. They hate this planet so that’s feelings, but they say f your feelings, when they also have their own! lol.
End of night:
I was basically in a flow state at work. Mind was silent and I was just doing my work and listening to an audiobook. Got home a little bit of stuff started coming up again. So I’m probably going to keep KB4 at 30 seconds for the whole cycle. I’m still working through stuff but it mostly seems to be at night time after work now. So it’s very manageable and I don’t want to increase the recon at this time.
Day 7: 15 mins Sanguine. 15 mins Paragon.
I’ve had a sore hip/butt just on one side for the last two days. It’s from Foundation Training and walking, because besides work that’s all I do. Since it’s only one side that says maybe I gotta work better on activating the glute on the otherside.
I probably have to take today off of Foundation Training. For the last 3 weeks I’ve only done it 2x a week. Something has come up on Friday to stop me from getting that Friday workout in. So this week I did the beginner circuit on Wednesday, since I was still feeling it from Monday, just wasn’t sore. But I did go for it and really give max effort reps since it was just the beginner program. The plan was to do the “easy” workout on Wednesday and get back to the advanced on Friday since I haven’t gotten Friday workouts besides walking in.
I’m still going to get my 40 minute walk in right now.
Still feeling like 30 seconds KB4 is as far as I’m going with that for now. Today once again I’m back to the line of thinking that I need to run Heartsong. Not that I am still wanting to switch titles. But it’s still the main kind of thing that comes up, the bad breakup thing. Many times I feel like I’m finally over it, but when some emotions come up that’s pretty much what it is. I’ve run a lot of the love bombs, most of this year love bomb was in my stack and before that it was LBFH.
I know Heartsong isn’t considered a healing title per se, but the reports and my own stuff leads me to believe that it’s the best title for what I need. But at this time there’s no desire to switch it out, and I have fortitude and the mindset that whatever is coming up is only temporary, no big deal.
Sanguine still needs to stick with me, I’m thinking for at least a year before I’d switch it out. A custom is the way to go for the long term. It’s just that I won’t add in a custom while I’m still running Paragon, I need Paragon right now too. When I have a custom I will only run the custom and Khan Black, no third title.
I was putting on my knee straps for my walk and it finally bubbled up- the idea that I will switch over to Heartsong after this cycle. I’ll have 4 cycles of Sanguine in, and I can test out Heartsong maybe up to 4 cycles and then finalize my Sanguine/Mind’s Eye custom to run the rest of the year.
Evening update: Earlier today before my walk I put some pain relief cream on my soreness. It helped and then I did my walk. It was almost down to zero pain. Then I ended up lounging the rest of the day. No work or errands to run. And I got up this evening and it hurts way worse than it was.
So I’m thinking it might be sciatic nerve pain. That would be the spot on the backside and would explain why it was only one side. In the past there were times I thought I might’ve had sciatica, but it’s been more associated with low back issues and having to go to the chiropractor, adjustments and very small shifts might cause some of that sciatic nerve pain.
I’m going to work on some forearm work to keep my elbows pain free. Since I don’t want to do anything that causes pain in that sciatic nerve tonight. I had just been wearing an elbow sleeve to work and that’s actually stopped the elbow pain. But the elbows still feel like they could use some work sometimes. It’s more about joint and ligament health and the core work for this winter. I’m basically building from the ground up again. A fitness title would actually be nice to have in my stack. But I’m going to stick with Paragon.
Day 8: No listening.
New release, new plan: Since the Alchemist: Singularity has dropped. I will most likely be testing it out starting next cycle. I’ll plan for 4 cycles before doing my Sanguine/Mind’s Eye custom.
I think the new title will help me resolve a lot of those conflicts or dualities that may be causing a lot of the recon. I’m planning to add the love love healing modules in my sanguine custom. So it’ll definitely have that influence.
Still have some light sciatic pain going on. So far it seems like all I’ll need to do is add like 3 stretches into my routine and that should be all I need for that. So far my workout seems like I’m starting from the ground up and it’s kind of patchwork, as things arise I have to focus on those areas with exercises. But those are the weak points and I think on some level I always knew that, but I just didn’t want to start from ground up. But now those exercises that I thought were too basic are going to be my main workout components for awhile.
Evening update: I’m finally used to working again, my body seems conditioned. I’m actually feeling good. I can tell I still need to focus on some exercises for my elbow health, maybe shoulders too now. So that can be integrated on Tues and Thurs.
After seeing a response by Fire, I have decided that next cycle I will take a break from Khan Black, and focus on Alchemist: Singularity for a couple cycles to get a feel for it, outside of Khan Black. That is a better plan because I can continue New Sanguine without interruption and of course will continue Paragon. I’ll still get the energy boost from Alchemist Singularity and it will be a more well rounded approach, great for the short term solution. New KB could be here in a few cycles also and I could start that back up when it comes out.
Day 9: 30 seconds KB4.
I’ll find out tonight if I’m ready to bump up to 1 minute of KB4 tonight. I’m waiting until there’s no sign of crankiness or any other recon, it tends to be in the evenings after work. Last night didn’t have any but my previous loops were sanguine and paragon.
This cycle I’m wrapping up 12 cycles of Khan Black 1-4. 3 cycles each stage. So I think it’s the perfect time to try out Alchemist: Singularity. I’ll get to keep the energy boosting but instead of just sexual it’ll be more encompassing. I’m not sure I have a handle on how to steer things. But I would guess it’s just like any other manifestation. Know what you want, have no attachment and things just work out even when there are challenges, it’s just all coming together.
I still consider that I’d like to try out Alchemist again. I haven’t tried it since it’s first version. I spent over a year on that one. I think I spent 6 months on that stage 1 alone. At that time I didn’t know it but I was really battling myself and that’s where I’ve always put my energy. Rooting out whatever in me that contributes to unwanted circumstances. Many of the best paths and teachers talk about taking 100% responsibility, whether it’s hoponopono or whatever. And so it’s not that we did it consciously, and that’s what it’s about for me. Just subtracting more so than adding. I find that once I root something out that the situations do change all by themselves most times, and I do experience life differently.
Singularity I think will finally help me explore something I always put off in my releasing work. Advantages/Disadvantages. There’s always advantages and disadvantages to everything and getting clear on both sides releases attachments and aversions and removes resistance. Moves us back into harmony. Where we can still work hard if we choose, but yea things can be easy and flow and I’m okay with that. A lot of what is hard work to me hasn’t been life giving, it’s been life draining. Yet those things I wasn’t attached to flowed and affirmed life for me, that there’s a harmony beyond what this “me” think should or shouldn’t be, what’s right or wrong etc.
I will attribute my long journal entries to the New Sanguine influence.
We’re into the late evening and if anything any recon has been refined. At least in terms of intensity. I had the ex on my mind again. Then I was wanting friends. But I also realized that it’ll be good to try out Alchemist Singularty, because I can resolve some things, potentially. At the very least I’ll gain new insight into some things. The ex situation was one of those situations where when I wanted her she didn’t want me, but if I didn’t want her then she wanted me. So if anything she probably wants me because my whole goal since the break up was to just finally free myself from that situation once and for all. It’s not feasible, I will never take her back, so as far as I can see it’s just a matter of me getting over it.
As far as wanting friends goes, well I want friends. If I had frens, I wouldn’t want them, I’d have them. Or maybe even wouldn’t want them. I think I’m at peace with walking away and I don’t even fool myself into thinking people are going to change. If it’s not a match, oh well. I’m a guy who hasn’t gotten the things I wanted most in life anyway. Those things I worked and sweated, and shed tears over, I never got. Turns out I didn’t need them, and was probably misguided anyway. The things that just fall in my lap have been some of the most rewarding things that make life worth living in my life. So I guess that also keeps me going, no matter how dark it appears, I don’t know what’s gonna show up or when.
It also appears that Noveau Rich might be the wealth title for me. Though I have become basically a hermit devoted to inner freedom, the attaining of the answer to the Who am I? question. Not in the form sense, in the ultimate sense, of I am. But I certainly won’t say I have attained that realization yet. Only intellectual.
Noveau Rich might be the right wealth title for me because my presence alone has been disruptive to people. Like when I say when I’m happy and tried to go talk to people, it was almost disturbing to them. They didn’t like that. Some even tried to pull me down, make me angry at their amusement, steal my secrets, etc.
So naturally I’ve been more inclined to a solitary life. Yet I’ve made improvements by leaps and bounds and have had many insights. I’m not where I want to be but I have really come along way. I have my moments of flow and all that. Today even I went to the store immediately after work, because I didn’t overthink it. Oh, it’s a busy time blah blah. Well, it was rush hour. I got overloaded when I walked in and my mind just started going. I handled it great. Then at a certain point it’s like I just snapped out of it. Well I guess I was doing 2:1 breathing on my drive home and on the drive there. But still some old habits of getting overloaded when I’m around lots of people.
Definitely looking forward to Alchemist Singularity. I think it will lighten things up after 12 cycles of Khan Black.
Day 10: No listening.
Bumped up my daily walking to 50 minutes. It’s slightly challenging, I can feel it in my muscles. I’ve never been a big walker. I wish I had been, but I guess it was anxiety that I let hold me back. It feels good.
I’m starting over on the Foundation Training. Starting from the beginning because I haven’t mastered the Advanced level yet. I also have gotten stronger and thus am able to increase the intensity. So starting over will allow me to master the program again. I might only be able to do it twice a week because I did get stronger and have increased the intensity. I might need to do it only 2x a week and leave that one day for something else so I can recover. I’ll have a better idea this week if that’s what I need to do.
I was noticing my sexual energy seems to be high again- right before I got up to type this journal entry. I’d like to stick with Khan Black but I will especially when the new version gets here. I’ve been with it for 12 cycles now. So testing out Alchemist Singularity is still the plan. I think it should shake things up quite nicely.
I’ll hold off on switching to Mind’s Eye also. I do want to test it solo for a cycle or two before I put it in the custom.
I took my walk and now I feel like a nap. Maybe it was the 2:1 breathing now I got nice and relaxed.
Evening update: 2 weeks to the end of this cycle. I’m really leaning toward my original plan- testing out Heartsong. It seems to have a bigger pull than mind’s eye or alchemist singularity at this time. I just think that’s what I’m going to end up doing.
Another factor contributing to me going with Heartsong is that I don’t have to purchase another title. I’ve already got that one in my downloads. I didn’t get the PT gig on my days off, the lady ended up ghosting me after asking for my email to send me out the application. If I ever hear back I would like to inquire how I could trust them to pay me on time, let alone pay me at all, lol. So money is still tight and no guarantee on extra Christmas cash, but every year I get just about enough extra that would cover my new custom build.
Day 11: 15 mins Sanguine. 15 mins Paragon.
Feeling pretty good today. I could stick with my stack too, not change anything, and be happy with it. KB4 still doing lots of work. Sanguine is hitting me with those good moods at times, and quiet mind and flow states. Paragon is kind of my set it and forget it title, just a matter of if I want to run it 4 cycles or keep going. This is only cycle 2 with P.
I felt like I got a very slight strain in my ankle when I was visiting the cat. I was laying on the bed but my legs were on the floor and was just standing on my toes a bit. When I was younger I was happy because I never had ankle problems, had a friend who had sprained ankles or something but my ankles were always good. It seems now they are a weak point which means I need to make them a strong point. I did do my 50 minute walk right after that and it didn’t bother me. I was getting a lot of pain free knee pops in one of my knees, I’ve never had that either.
I’m stopped on my Sanguine/Mind’s Eye custom. It seems based on some reports, it might not be necessary to include both because mind’s eye contains positivity and relaxation already. So that tells me that I really do need to run Mind’s Eye solo before I ever build that custom. So a possibility is Daredevil/Mind’s Eye, or even S&S/Mind’s Eye. Daredevil would probably be the bees knees for me.
I’ve also been just considering running any other title I have in my downloads for 4 cycles. One of the reasons for customizing Sanguine is to make it something that is versatile enough that I’d stay with it for at least a year. I’m even at the point where I’d consider switching out for a Spiritual title, but I don’t have one in my downloads.
What sticks out most to me from what I have is: Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer and Primal. I have Phoenix but I think Limit Destroyer would be more chill. I wouldn’t want to risk running anything with a high recon potential until the year is over now. Limit Destroyer would also help me get the most out of my time with Paragon.
Yea Limit Destroyer is getting pulled out of the Bull Pen I found this line when I was reading the description again, The title also contains scripting that attempts to guide the user to monitor their own physical and mental health.
Been reading through the Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer Thread. It really seems to me that Sanguine is like the stage 1. Limit Destroyer is Stage 2 for me.
After reading the description for Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer, I’m really excited about my next 4 cycles with it. I could use a lot of that and I just think it will really build on my time with Sanguine.
I do have a healthy respect for LD. Especially in combo with DR4. So I’m planning to do the first cycle keeping DR 4 and LD at 30 seconds. I’ll keep Paragon at 15 mins.
I just learned of a book, The Power of Strangers: The Benefits of Connecting in a Suspicious World. I have it on my audible/reading list. I think it would serve me well, in the past I’d read all these success books and stuff like How To Win Friends and Influence People. I would get really filled with this energy, I’ve kind of been a love guy ever since I can remember. I couldn’t understand why this world and it’s people were the way they were, why a lot of it seemed so cruel and unnecessary. Anyway, that’s one of the reasons I became a hermit type. Then I’d read these books and get into the reality of life is beautiful, etc. etc. Well, people tended to prove to me otherwise, lol. That too is covered a bit by Limit Destroyer, detach yourself and protect your energy from negative toxic people.
End of Night:
I did some of the joint mobility stuff, really low reps. Felt really good. I even went to work and didn’t notice that I didn’t wear my knee supports. I got home and I was finishing up with some forearm work and was doing some walking in between sets. I was doing some quicker just loosening up, may have slightly strained a ligament or something in my knee. So that is no good.
Luckily I have two days off. I’ll just be wearing the knee support that is like a sleeve with straps and I’ll just keep it tight. I just can’t believe that I need to be so careful with my body this last month. Joint health and ligaments has gotta be my number one priority. Too many setbacks. I don’t have the money for a trainer or physical therapy but I gotta figure something out. It’s like damn, walking and I can work no problem but as far as exercise I gotta do old people exercises or something.
Day 12: No listening.
The knee seems to be fine today. Last night it was hurting while I was walking. Immediately put the most supportive support I had on and finished my forearm sets.
No pain today. So I think my 50 minute walk will be fine.
I’m still excited about moving on to Limit Destroyer for four cycles. Confidence, destroying limits, not falling for manipulation, protecting my energy from toxic types and disconnecting from them, etc. Sounds good to me. More positivity and confidence. Possibly more quieting of the mind. Right now I’m actually more excited about it than new Mind’s Eye. Just because I think it’s my stage 2 to Sanguine.
Also noticing, today, now, that I have more of that good feeling going on.
I’m remembering last night that I must have gotten pretty relaxed yet remained conscious, as I was falling asleep last night. I might’ve been on the same track as lucid dreaming. There’s the element of just drifting off to sleep and the dream imagery and imagination starts up. There was one thing that seemed real to me, but when I was fully awake and conscious today it made no sense at all. Like why would I want to do that? Nothing bad just like wtf. And lately I’ve been thinking about this idea, that I can have memories come up and they’re of dreams. Even from years ago.
Day 13: 30 seconds KB4.
Had a cool dream. I don’t remember what it was about. Just on some sort of adventures. I think I was helping save someone somehow. I was laughing in the dream and enjoying it.
I think I could move up to 1 minute of KB4 but since it’s a holiday, I’ll keep it to 30 seconds again.
I woke up super early and am hoping I don’t have that issue of having to go to the bathroom all day every time I drink or eat something. They claimed there was a stomach bug going around my locale. I haven’t had any contact with people though, I’ve been out and about to the store but that’s it for me. I never caught that thing that was big in the news a few years ago but it seems like this uhh visiting the bathroom thing happens a lot. I only ate once yesterday so I’m hoping it’s just some detox effects from the Chlorella Spirulina, but I take that daily so I wouldn’t think it’s that.
I also didn’t get my Foundation workout in yesterday. I was just too tired by the end of the night. Also had some cleaning to do and some of that stuff. So still on 2x a week. But I’m thinking I could switch up the days I do it. Doesn’t have to be MWF. I could do it every 3 days.
Evening update:
I listened to KB4 for like 1 minute 22 seconds, because I was listening at my computer and started doing something and forgot I only planned to listen to 1 minute. I forgot to listen this morning so since everybody went home I decided to go for 1 minute but it was 1:22.
Day 14: No listening.
Had some great dreams again. I can’t recall dreams but I’d say more vivd dream. Then if I wake up I was able to fall back asleep with whatever imaginations was going on my mind would turn into a dream. So still on the verge of lucid dreaming and it leads me to believe that with some conscious intent I might be able to finally start programming or deciding my dreams. It is kind of walking that knifes edge though of just relaxing and letting it be natural rather than trying too hard and being too focused.
I was kind of planning to take like 3 days off keto. I was planning on there being a lot more leftovers as in years past. But after eating yesterday, I’m kind of content to just go right back to keto. The leftovers aren’t as much in years passed, so I kind of just want to stick with keto. Christmas might be another story though so that’s also a good reason to just keep with keto, one day a week refeed.
I was a little sore to end the day yesterday. I forgot to do my 50 minute walk. I think it definitely helps get the blood pumping and muscles a little warm so it helps with soreness. My forearms were a little sore so that didn’t kick in until 2 days after working them. Feeling a little sore actually motivates me to get back to it and start my day with the 50 minute walk.
I sat down on the couch after my walk for a few minutes. Got up and my back felt like it was wanting to get sore. So I did my short warmup/mobility that is focused on the hips and back. Now I feel better. So I’ve gotta bring that on board. That will be my first thing in the morning routine before my walk. Just have to add things back in as needed for now. This will hopefully give me that extra motivation to stick to 3 days a week with the Foundation Training.
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Evening:
Did my active flexibility warm up today. It’s so cold and since I was feeling like my back wanted to get sore and hurt earlier, I’m feeling better about doing some warming up before my walking and Foundation Training. Plus it’s been extra cold in my house below zero F low tonight.
I’ve been thinking more long term about my subliminals now. So after that recon it seems I got to a deeper, more I want to say rational, logical mindset about my subliminal use. I’m looking at it more like stages. I think for the time being Paragon is the title I will leave at 15 mins. I’ll still keep bumping listening time for KB4 as I feel comfortable. Sanguine will get switched out after this cycle for Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer, I plan to start slowly and go with 30 second listens.
Then I’m already planning for Phoenix: A Dragon Reborn. And then now I’m even considering Chosen From Within (again), hopefully an update will be here by then. Paragon will stay so whenever I feel like I’m good there, I’d bring in new Mind’s Eye probably. So then it’d be maybe Genesis and/or Ascension. Like really building from ‘the ground up.’ Tentatively I’ve already got my next year of listening planned.
I’m pulled off the custom idea for now because it seems like DRLD has a lot of what I wanted to add back in via modules in the custom. It even says it has some positive manifestations in it. I’m also seeing how I’ve gotten over a lot with Sanguine but DRLD with its confidence will probably put me over the top on a lot more.
Day 15: 15 mins Sanguine, 15 mins Paragon.
I actually forgot that it’s a listening day. So I’ll listen now. Still early afternoon.
10 hours of sleep. Still having I guess vivid dreams. I remember them immediately after waking and maybe will recall bits and pieces here and there. But I haven’t had an desire or intent to really remember my dreams or to interpret them.
lol It’s like 15 minutes later and normally if I’d forgotten to listen to my loops I’d have gotten to it already. To me that’s a good sign, that means that I don’t think it’s the most important thing, like I need it, less attachment means to me that Sanguine is probably working. So it’s not like I need my fix or something. lol. So I’m gonna listen now then do my warmup/walk for 50 mins.
Evening Update:
I haven’t had caffeine in 30 days tomorrow. This evening after walking and adding back in my warmups/mobility/flexibility I just had the energy to get to work early just because I wanted to. So I did. I do a split shift on Saturday so I go back. But i was just motivated to get to work and while i was working it was nice. I like it because my mind either shuts off or is just mostly quiet and I just do the work.
Day 16: No listening.
I’m happy with Sanguine, but I still think DRLD is the next step. I really can’t wait to try out Alchemist: Singularity. But I’m sticking with KB4, because I’m sure it still has some work to do.
Evening:
After work the ex situation was beating me up again. I would really like to finally root that whole thing out once and for all. Next up is DRLD and we’ll tackling any limiting beliefs that could be keeping me from being free of it. I also like that DRLD is kind of anti-manipulation, protect your energy in it. It seems like a move towards being more social without jumping right into one of the social titles, while still assisting in personal freedom and of course limitation removal.
Also it’s put Emperor: The Will To Power, back on my radar. I’m all for being social but I find that I really would want those power dynamics and anti-manipulation on board. I never saw life that way and yea, I saw the good in people and found out that there are people who really have no interest in mutual benefit. So yea I probably have some limiting people/social beliefs and traumas around the whole people thing. My first custom was Chosen and Will To Power, just before it was will to power. I never used it. I guess I was scared to tackle that area which is all the reason why I should have, lol.
Day 17: 1:30 seconds KB4.
I’m going with 1:30 seconds. Didn’t seem to have rough recon after 1:22 listen last time.
I’m feeling pretty good this morning. I had at least two vivid dreams again and women were wanting me! So perhaps KB4 is unleashing the attractiveness. The dreams were like mostly like waking life in terms of my awareness being there, I just didn’t know it was a dream. And it was also like real life because I didn’t know it was a dream.
Just finished my first hour straight walk. I feel good like I accomplished something. At the same time it’s like that should be no problem. Walking an hour should be the easiest thing ever. I do have to do my hip/back mobility stuff after so my back doesn’t tighten and get sore, but it also makes me feel good.
I do the warmup/mobility stuff with more intention and mindfulness now, like it’s the most important thing rather than something I rush through to get to the good stuff.
End of night:
I did get thrown into the mud in the evening again, with the ex situation. Not as intense as when I first got back on KB4. I found that I still have some anger there. I’ve always seen this saying that underneath all anger is hurt. Well I knew about the hurt, but I hadn’t realized I was still holding anger. But I think that realization will help me release more.
Also felt ready for bed about 2 hours ago which is 3-4 hours earlier than my usual time. It was just this weekend when I was feeling good that I felt like I had energy and would rather go to work than sleep. But now I guess the pendulum has swung back a little. I am probably going to skip today’s Foundation Training. So again it looks like I’ve gotten stuck at doing it 2x a week. But I might add the advanced exercises on their own days Tues and Thurs. That way I can still do them and that’ll help to make up for any days I end up skipping. I also think it’s probably going to take a week or two to adjust to my new hourly daily walk. So if all goes well I will be starting off the new year with a good baseline to start the year. I want to get back into jumping and hitting the heavy bag, being more athletic rather than just lifting weights like I did for so long.