Day 18: No listening.
I woke up from a dream where my friend’s dad gave me money and a ride to their house, out in the country. My friend was coming to fix my car. I think that lines up with my one affirmation I was doing but haven’t done in maybe a week. I think that’s a good sign that I haven’t been hammering it every day that tells me that I’m not attached to it and therefore that’s where the magic is. Just what seem to be random passing thoughts end up manifesting effortlessly, and the things I try to consciously manifest never seem to. So for me that’s the trick, no attachment to where it really isn’t on my mind, I just have forgotten about it.
I had a dream about the ex, the ex wasn’t there but I think I was getting to see this part of me that got stuck on that whole bs. And maybe a week ago I had the very same situation in the dream. So why it’s taking so long to let go and be done with it I don’t know. But at least some light is being shown on the situation. I’ll just keep at it when it comes up and that’s what I’ve been doing.
Normally I’d have my walk done already. I just don’t want to walk today. 60 mins straight of walking, I alternate every minute with lateral walking both directions. 50 mins was easy. 60 minutes reminds me of what it was like getting used to my jobs. I still feel like I have to keep up with the Foundation Training, at least the bare minimum routine. So adding in the advanced exercises will get held off for another week or two.
I’m still looking forward to DRLD. I could use another dose of the anti-manipulation, energy protection stuff. Like I mentioned before if I’m feeling good and I see the good in people, I’ll even give them the benefit of the doubt and I don’t do the thing where I have to point out where they’re wrong. Like earlier I just misspoke, and if the person was really present and paused for a minute they’d know I just misspoke, something this person does a lot. I never mention it because I know what they mean and to me it’s not a big deal.
But that same kind of social generosity and good will isn’t extended to me. The programming comes out and it’s just where they talk to me in a way that they make me feel wrong. Like some kind of BS unconscious power play. I see it but again, I don’t fight about it, I don’t even get bothered anymore. I handle it with grace and I respond in a way that I hope they can see to shatter some of their unconscious programming and combative programming.
But it’s like even with obvious things that well, anybody would know, it gets fed back in a way to make me feel less than. But I’m definitely getting past all that most times. I know they don’t know any better. They think they’re in control but they’re really not. Kind of the people who will talk bad about others yet when they show up it’s all nice face, and I’ve never been a pretender. If I don’t like someone I’m not gonna pretend, to me that’s dishonest. So that’s why I really will be trying out Emperor: The Will to Power in the future.
There’s a couple books that are my favorite with dealing with people, and these aren’t people who leave people hating them or feeling worse about themselves, yet they still come out on top in their people dealings and everyone is satisfied.
I just can’t imagine why we as a people haven’t gotten better at communicating. Even the guys who talk about communicating, at least in my life, like bosses and people are actually poor communicators themselves and have this certain shittiness. I think that just comes back to the thinking they’re in control but actually aren’t, they want to be pittied and get attention for their perceived problems. Me, that’s why I use subliminals as one of my tools, I’m willing to grow and do the work. I think many of us find that it’s probably still not a majority who are willing to do that.
I often come to the conclusion that I need to approach this person tactically. That I kind of have to plan my approach and stop and pause before speaking. Knowing that is it worth whatever I’m probably gonna have tossed back at me? It’s not fights or arguments, but I’ve been around enough people to see that most people would argue. But I just have to stay in my good vibes and go on about my life, that’s what I was saying. I’m feeling good and tapping that harmony and it just seems I need to be more careful around people. I was in plenty of work situations where people don’t like that at all. Even if you’re in different depts, they just decide they can’t stand you and you’ve never so much as had a bad though about them. Then you can try to be what you know they want, and they don’t even like that either. Makes a case for Inner Circle, yet DRLD has some of that manifesting people and books, resources, and positive experiences, that will be much welcomed in my book.
I only walked for 30 minutes. I’m in it for the long haul. That means taking it easy if my body says to. I work tonight anyway.
I also realized that it’s okay for me to take a break from KB starting next cycle. I can use my LBFH/DRLD custom instead. I didn’t give it enough of a chance the first time with it. I’d like to get some more input from some of those modules. So the new plan is to run my LBFH/DRLD custom with Paragon next cycle. 2 titles. Then I’m going to let it ride until the updated KB is released.
I just checked out what’s in the LBFH/DRLD custom. It’s not exactly what I wish I had right now but it’s close enough. I think it’ll shake things up after 12 cycles with KB. I think I’m more ready for it now though. When I made it it was kind of my Last Stand, lol. This is gonna be the custom to get me over what I need to, at that time, and it proved too challenging. It deserved a solo run at that time.
I encourage everyone to journal. It helps pave the way for insights. I can see how something like morning pages, i think it’s called. Just free writing for time or until you hit the amount of pages every morning. I can see how that would be great.
As far as modules, my Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex has more of what I wish was in LBFH/DRLD custom. Okay, I take that back. SI/Spartan custom is a little too intense for Christmas season. I just want energy development, winner’s mindset, the luck module. LBFH/DRLD has more spiritual modules which will be good. Also will give me more time with Love Without Attachment module, which should help me get over the ex.
