ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#295

Day 10: No listening.

Had another minor setback. Tweaked the back again. I was feeling almost back to 100% moving as normal and I was sleeping and woke up to turn over. Felt the twinge and was able to go back to sleep. I haven’t gone to the chiropractor yet, hoping not to. I guess I got overly confident doing Foundation Training again, was feeling good and strong. I even took yesterday off because my legs were feeling a little sore. But I’ll be right back to it tonight and maybe everyday until I get back to 100%.

I’m anticipating a run of this new title Emperor Daddy. It actually kind of sounds like what I wanted when I was saying I would like to combine Primal and Chosen together and that’d be the ultimate combo for me.

I just wish there were some emphasis on physical health, which is pretty important as we put on the years.

If I make a custom I will have to put the torso module in there. and arms and legs. for elbows and knees.

#296

Day 11: 15 mins LB. 15 mins Sanguine.

#297

Day 12: No Listening.

My back pain seems to be taken care of pretty well with Foundation Training. I just do the program from the original book, it’s mostly getting into position and holding and squeezing those muscles. I think now they changed it to more like normal rep movements but it’s a subscription program I think. The original book works great for me.

I was able to work fine yesterday. I’ve gotta go in to work again today should be fine.

Kind of good moods lately, interspersed with some lower moods and moments of course. It’s kind of more internal focused for me in terms of how I experience it. I might sing and hum whatever, but it’s not about getting outside attention or needing anything from others in terms of approval.

I had some moments where I did kind of get into it with people just based on their programming and communication style, but it had no lingering effect on my state, and I also noticed there were times when I just wouldn’t buy into any negativity and was able to not react and get into it with them and just move on with my day.

I did have some of that really wishing I had some good friends stuff coming up. I also had some of that wanting a woman of my own come up. Also saw some women from my past show up and I used to have a high interest level, but now it’s like, nothing. Zero interest. I think if anything I’d like to find those one or two “true” connections that are loyal. I can see I still have to give my stack time to work, not 100% where I want to be when I’m around a bunch of strangers. But at the same time I guess I just want to be unbothered and centered no matter what comes along.

#298

Day 13: 15 mins KB 2.

Doing some physical work seems to really work on any recon.

Sometimes, based on the news stories of all these “natural” storms hitting the US, I wish I was still on my Survival Instinct custom. Ideally, I’d have run it until the end of 2024.

Having some slight feelings come up again in the wanting friends category. So rather than looking for that fulfillment outside I reminded myself to check with myself. So these feelings aren’t actually coming from what is outside of me. So if I feel lacking or wanting, I can see that these feelings are kind of moving me to seek that fulfillment from the outside. From my life experience I know that wanting something if anything pushes it away or at least makes it less than a satisfactory or lasting experience. When I’m not wanting, the best experiences have happened for me. When I am wanting it just perpetuates more of this unwanted feeling experience. So I will chalk it up to feelings coming up and showing me where I’m lacking, thus appearing to lack on the outside. So when I take care of my own stuff, things works themselves out. That doesnt’ mean I take no action, it means if action is required I take it without resistance and my efforts are more likely to be rewarded, because I’m not coming from a place of lack.

#299

Day 14: No listening.

I had some fears come up last night. That reminded me that on my first run through of KB I had some fears come up as well. I’ve been able to work through them a bit.

#300

Day 15: 15 mins LB. 15 mins Sanguine.

In a mostly good mood to start the day.

I saw an ad, at least I think it was an ad. It has some examples to clean up your writing and texts. Like removing unnecessary words and making things more concise. Also removing words that weaken your message. I can see I do that for sure. I know there are things I don’t know and that there are other possibilities. So I like to convey that. But in terms of getting cooperation and agreement and heck, even a date I can see I’ve got things to clean up. Part of it is wanting to come off as intelligent, and also having been trained in school, you must write this many words. I never agreed with that because I knew it was training people to be the opposite of concise, and I’m a to the point guy. Like this paragraph I could maybe chop it way down. So I can see I’ve got some habits to break in terms of my communication.

I think one of the examples they give is like, instead of hey do you want to maybe go to (place) if you’re free? Becomes, would you like to go to (place) at 8pm on (specific day)? Not the exact example but just to give you the idea of what they’re going for.

#301

Day 16 No Listening.

Had lots of dreams last night. I don’t remember them but it was just like living another life or something. Kind of interesting.

#302

Day 17: 15 mins KB2.

Again with the dreams, every night. I don’t remember what it was about. I guess just processing things and showing me that the work is still taking place behind the scenes. So still progress. I’m looking forward to moving on to KB3. I think KB2 might be a little rough at times. I haven’t noticed any increase sensitivity or awareness of energy this time around, well I’ve had a couple moments. I’m sure at some point I’ll have more insights.

#303

Day 18: No listening.

I’m looking forward to my 5 days off. Then I’ll start stage 3 KB. So far 15 mins has been doable for me.

As far as what’s after 12 cycles of LB. I’m drawn to DRR. I wouldn’t tell everybody the healing path is for them when it comes to the subliminals. But for me and my inner bluerint, it seems the best next step. DRR instead of Genesis. I would plan to run only two titles if that’s the case- DRR and KB.

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#304

Day 19: 15 mins LB. 15 mins Sanguine.

#305

Day 20: No listening.

#306

Day 21: 15 mins KB2.

Today I realized that I’m mostly over the ex/bad breakup thing. It’s been just about 3 years. If I’m not 100% over it I think at least I’m over the attachment to it. It’s not strong enough to keep me hooked anymore.

I also realized that I should have picked a healing title, any healing title and that would have sped up my process or time in getting over it. lol. I think at times I need to experiment, just like everyone else. So I think it was that I didn’t want to face the feelings and pain, and instead wanted to try focusing on the more positive side I guess. Meeting more women with Wanted and SSX and then Primal.

But I came full circle and am eyeing DRR as my next title. It will most likely be Spartan Apex first as I decide on the proper time to start DRR. I want to get my body healed up and in the best shape it can be in. I could use some help there and also help with getting my mind bringing me the right routines, exercises to help my specific needs.

Next up after 5 days of no listening: Cycle 8 LB, Cycle 3 Sanguine, KB 3(2nd run through at 1 cycle per stage).

I felt like I was a bit charged up today energetically. Not libido but high sexual energy, or just energy in general, not like get up and go but in terms of the flow in the energy system. on this last day of my cycle. This would be the first day I really noticed that this time around. I also have been on an unplanned 48 hour fast. But I just ate and now will probably get a good night’s sleep tonight.

#307

First day of 5 no listening. I start back up on 10/21.

I got probably 10 hours of sleep I’m guessing. Almost seems too long but definitely feeling like it’s a rest day for sure.

It wasn’t until yesterday that I really noticed things energetically. I felt some more space at times inner space. So I feel like this really is a good title and just needs time, also my experience is that it may seem like nothing is happening or you might not notice anything then one day it kind of hits you. That yea maybe I still don’t know exactly what’s going on but it’s good.

I also notice that my stack has gotten me more relaxed in some interactions. Just a more it’s a nice day good mood kind of vibe. So I can’t say either way I’ll just say the combo of LB and Sanguine is nice. It’s also good for me to make a note since it can be subtle, yet I’m sure the benefits ripple through all aspects of life. Sometimes I think I need the sexier titles and that’s not always the case, just need to keep sailing along on course for awhile.

#308

I was just talking with somebody, or trying to. I guess I was saying facts, and at first they weren’t paying attention. My first mistake, not realizing that they’re already on their train of thought along with whatever they were doing.

Then it turned into every time I said something of course this person knows all the answers, lol. Instead of being offended I realized what was happening. I decided a little experimentation was in order. Not out of spite or annoyance or anything, just curiosity I guess.

So I had to ask the person what the easiest way for me to make a million dollars is. They never had that much money, but of course they answer. Inherit it but there’s nobody to inherit it from, so I don’t know. So that got the ball rolling.

Then I just started asking questions that I knew would get an I don’t know answer. They weren’t offended but it was just interesting to see in real time how much we as humans can get so caught up in that mind program. It’s automatic and it’s like running us.

I just notice in myself that my default isn’t to be reactive and get going like that, mine is just to more contemplate a feeling, no so much contemplate but rest in just quiet mind. But I do have my moments as well.

Earlier today I was noticing how I was kind of getting caught up in things myself but I at least noticed it and it didn’t keep running my show outside of my awareness.

#309

It seems that things are flowing again. I cleared out a lot of resistance and debris. So I’m having insights into just interactions. The Laws of Human nature if you will. I still haven’t read any of that Robert Greene stuff yet.

I was talking to the same person again this morning. It seems things are a lot smoother and so they’ll even be more softer in their communications. So seems like a bit of awareness maybe on their part. But it’s all so natural. It’s not because I pointed anything out or argued about it or felt like they needed to change. As my own stuff gets cleared up, my external changes. That’s what I like about self development.

When I first got into that kind of stuff it was all about me learning and reading as much as I could. Yet I was never able to really learn or apply much. I was so backed up with my resistance and programs and I felt like I was doing something I shouldn’t. That was probably my own programming and upbringing.

I learned about pick up, and sales, and changework etc. But now I’ve been having some insights and new experiences and it wasn’t from more reading or studying. It’s like a natural byproduct of having my own river flowing more smoothly.

So this will have big dividends as time goes on and just in my daily life. I still have some stickiness around dating because in my experience the hypergamy I’ll call it theory seems to be what it comes down to. Pick up didn’t seem to stand the test of time and it’s maybe not about falling in love with somebody and it being about what I thought. It’s more like you gotta do the opposite of your programming to get the women you want. Maybe in time I’ll really start to get it and be okay with it. Like how I’ve started to have insights into just general communication and relating stuff. It’s like why I had so many women who wanted me but I didnt’ want them, the ones I didn’t want seemed repelled. So it seems like you gotta be the guy the women want but it’s not about falling in love, and all that, that will repel them. Yet it still seems like there are people who fall in love, but at the same time over the years I’ve seen a majority of couples not last. Yet some seem to be able to fall in love with each other and they stay together, maybe I just haven’t seen behind the closed doors and it’s not all how I think it appears.

I’m still not sure about how to get my money situation right. I’d like to have more money but I don’t want more work. Things still seem like effort and being tired and trying to keep up my physical fitness. Yesterday I saw a video of someone who is definitely a multi millionaire who says she lifts like 1x a week. She found that too much lifting actually takes away on her energy and that goes towards the physical recovery. I think between my job and working out I can relate. So I might have to change up my mentality instead of trying to get back to the levels of my athletic days, maybe I just be more practical with my physical fitness. Find things that will contribute to my energy and performance in my regular life instead of things that are leaving with me less energy to, focus on finally making some good money and other things. So instead of my trying to be able to be explosive and athletic as possible, I might shift to more cardio with some strength, and do things that would get me in shape to do things like hiking and exploring.

I did notice yesterday that when I was shopping. I wasn’t checking any women out. It’s like I knew since I wasn’t going to be talking to them or attempting to get a date that it just didn’t serve my energy. There was one woman I saw as soon as I got in. She was with her son. I think she was into me. I went to get my things and it’s almost as though she was hovering. I stopped a couple times to just adjust somethings and I noticed she was stopped nearby too. Then I’d go back to walking and she’d walk too. Like she was doing that hovering thing they sometimes do where they want you to talk to them. But I wasn’t interested.

Went to the drug store today to grab some halloween candy. I got to the checkout and one tall woman was checking me out. Then I got to self checkout line and another woman at the checkout was giving me all the indications that she really wanted to get to interact with me. I didn’t give them any signs that I was looking for any interactions though. Whereas if they hadn’t been checking me out and hadn’t even noticed me I would have probably taken a glance at them to check them out. I am going to be really interested to see what a few more cycles of Sanguine will bring, I still could use some work there.

#310

So my 5 day washout is over. I had to double check because I wasn’t counting days and it went by so fast.

So tomorrow is 15 mins KB3.

More of the ex/bad breakup junk is washing through today. I haven’t done any focused work on it like letting it go. Just letting it runs its course. I gotta workout and get to work, and that usually puts me in a better state of mind if I’ve been in a lower mood.

Well just as I made note of what was washing through it seems to be done for now. Now I’m feeling almost this vibrational hum in my lips and some in my body. My first run through of KB I chalked it up to possibly some energy work, freeing up blockages. So this is still my theory based on this experience again.

#311

Tomorrow, Monday is actually day 1 of my next cycle with KB3.

#312

Day 1 of 21: 15 mins KB 3.

This will be my second round of Khan Black (1st round did 2 cycles per stage, this cycle -1)

This will be cycle 8 of Love Bomb

This will be cycle 3 of Sanguine, I’m most interested in seeing how good things get the longer I use this one.

I do have at times the wanting to switch titles recon occasionally. But I’m able to stick with it as I notice changes in my experience. Sometimes it’s been a bit subtle but there are definitely changes and so I think sticking with titles longer is the way to go. Especially this stack since I consider it more fundamental stuff. Maybe the boring foundational kind of stuff so we can do all the fun exciting stuff later and benefit more.

I had one moment today. Somebody who was quick to point out how they thought I didn’t have any patience, in the past. Today I was doing something for them that I’d never done before either, but I wasn’t bothered and was calm and patient without trying. So I could see how that person was getting frustrated and impatient. I didn’t need to point it out. I don’t know if they saw something new either. Patience is not something I consciously have worked on, so I’d say it’s some Sanguine influence. I would say I still have feelings too, so sometimes I might get frustrated and impatient it’s just with awareness of myself it’s manageable and not a problem. I also don’t feel bad about such moments because generally it’s my experience that I’d still say a majority of people would never be aware of their own moments, yet they’re quick to point out what they see as someone elses shortcomings.

#313

Day 2: No Listening.

Last night I felt like more space within, like this emptiness but a good emptiness, and kind of experienced some effortlessness. A taste of no resistance, I would guess. So I was thinking that maybe stage 1 and 2 of KB had gotten washed through and this was a taste of stage 3, and it was only my first listen to stage 3 in this cycle. So that was an interesting experience.

My first run through of KB I didn’t notice anything major. After going through the stages a second time I feel like I’m a bit more attuned to the subtleties at times of whatever is going on. But I would say my experience last night was the highlight so far. After typing out this journal entry that could be some Sanguine/Khan Black combo work going on.

I don’t know if it’s that I’m notice it more since my loop of KB3- but I feel like my sex drive/libido/sexual energy is definitely turned up. I was thinking back and feel like I’ve always had a high level of sexual energy naturally. I was just held back by my own anxieties and fears I suppose. I was considering how they say successful men have a high sex energy, and I think I’ve always had that but I got in my own way so it didn’t translate into material success, but at the same time due to the many “failures” that has turned me towards spiritual success and have had some extraordinary experiences in that realm. Yet of course, it’s not about special abilities and stuff, at least not for me. It’s just realizing that ‘I am’ thing.

So just to remind myself when I get those urges to switch titles, this is the good stuff. Working on those self love issues with LB, working on those fears and calming the nervous system with Sanguine and unleashing and mastering the sexual energy with Khan Black.

#314

Day 3: 15 mins LB, 15 mins Sanguine.

So far LB and Sanguine haven’t been the feel good combo that I would have originally assumed. Surprisingly they have gone deep and done some healing. I still can’t put my finger on LB even though I’ve used it for 7 cycles. To me it seems subtle but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been deep changes, things I probably haven’t noticed in myself.

I kind of thought I’d always be blissed out or something maybe. But no it’s more of an every day level that is more practical for daily life I’d say. I definitely get healing at times and the healing goes deeper than I am consciously aware of any “highs.” An increase in my daily mood a few notches for sure and not punishing myself with as much worry and fear or anxiety. So those are pretty big things on a practical level.

Definitely having more encounters with this person, a family member. They just come across as a know it all and intentional or not they have zero awareness that they tend towards replying, no matter what it is, in a manner that somehow makes me out to be wrong or would make me feel that way. For awhile when I was going through lots of social healing I started to notice that pattern and would get involved in argument. Their pattern is still there and now I’m just seeing that well is it really their communication style, because they’re not gonna change why would they? Or is it my reaction? Because those times I don’t have a reaction, I always have that awareness but to me it’s never anything even worth arguing about. Almost a kind of the person just has a need to feel superior because they’ve long forgotten that they probably feel inferior, and that’s what it did for me. Before I was aware I got that program that had me feeling inferior and really crippled my social development.