ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#281

Day 21: 15 mins KB 1.

Now on to 5 days of no listening. Then I start KB 2.

I feel like my stack went deep this cycle. I was expecting more of the good feeling positive chill kinda stuff. But it went deep and my body released a lot, and it was hitting on fear.

I tried to pick up the work out again last night. I have a strain but was still able to complete 90% of my workout. I also added in a couple moves to my plyometric program. I was just doing pogos and then added in a warm up version and a double leg lateral hop. I realized I had no hop at all, I have quickness and speed. My pogos are more like jump rope jumps. But after I gave up playing sports I really didn’t do any running or jumping, so I’m basically starting from scratch. I also will be switching my kettlebell swings to Tuesdays and Thursdays, which have just been days off for the past few months. The quick max effort hopping stuff feels good, builds up the lungs, but it does stress the nervous system. So rather than try to do 3 workouts a week, I’ll just stick to the kettlebell swings for thursdays and tuesdays, burn some calories build some conditioning, help keep the blood moving through the body and will just keep taking it slow. I definitely feel and look more athletic in the month since I have been doing the pogos, maybe I wouldn’t feel comfortable joining a sport just yet. But as far as daily life goes it’s definitely helping me perform better.

9/25 new cycle with KB 2 starts!

Tonight I’m having some desire for having a woman. Not for sex, for that legit connection. A two way street, something mutual. I think that exists, even though my experiences with women are that if you genuinely care about them and want them they don’t want you. If you treat them well, well that makes them lose value. etc. So if that’s what it takes to have a relationship then I don’t want it. But a part of me does think that there are such things as genuine connections. But it’s been a long time since I had a truly legit friend, and even then it never lasted, but what does? The world is just a world of change. They say those things of permanence have no life.

#282

Yesterday I was ready to start counting my money to see if I could make a new custom. LB/Sanguine Custom or even Ascension/Sanguine custom. But it’s better to get at least 3 cycles before going the custom route, my own general rule.

I have a sense that I still have a bit of stress/fear/anxiety to be released from my body. Mentally I can see how I’ve come a long way. But as far as what a normal baseline is, I’m probably normal in today’s world. But I can still sense that I’m above what should be a baseline in terms of being free from stress. So things will just continue to get better as I stick with Sanguine.

The pull to do a custom was to basically bring back some of the modules from my original custom. Things like Eventide module, for basically keeping people out of my business or interested in my business. Just on a basic level of what I’d call human decency, I’m not concerned with invading your privacy, I think it’s wrong, not everybody does though. That’s why Eventide. Also Ascension would remedy this with time as well.

So Eventide is what I’d like back on board and You Are Not Alone and Safety Net if I could only have 3 custom modules in what is my current stack. I think Eventide would serve a dual purpose of protecting my privacy and also make me more mysterious which would up my attractiveness with the ladies.

From the Eventide custom module description: Secrecy is power. Hiding your secrets, plans, moves, ideas, practices and even parts of your lifestyle can have a profound impact on your overall effectiveness in life. Eventide is the module that will help you hide anything you do or plan so that no one can predict what you will do next. You will become an avatar of secrecy and unpredictability. It will also help you divert attention from yourself to someone or something else if necessary, while misdirecting those who are scrambling to unearth your secrets. Finally, for the spiritual practitioners, Eventide will help develop your understanding and usage of the law of silence – a spiritual principle that helps you understand the deep impact silence has on your practice.

So now I might actually put together a concept custom. See what modules I already have and can put in there. I’m kind of thinking making it a silent mind/physical relaxation custom. So that’d have Formless Clarity and I’d have to go check what modules would fit the bill. There’s also still some wanting to squeeze Spartan Apex in there for a core. So I can just play with it, I don’t have to spend any money or actually make it just yet.

So I made my first mock-up on a new custom idea. I’m just not into it. Yea I’d like alot of the modules. But it’s only one cycle in my new stack with Sanguine. I’ll definitely leave it alone for awhile. With each cycle the closer I get to 12 cycles on Love Bomb and then I plan to switch it out for Genesis.

#283

Yea it seems to me I’ll get great benefit from sticking with Sanguine. I feel like it can definitely help me to a lot of work in terms of returning me back to what we around here like to call the zero point.

I played with a custom last night and it end up being a lot of healing modules. I just don’t think it’s necessary yet because I’m getting lots of healing and once I get back to KB 4 that will be enough on my plate as is.

#284

Been having some moments where if I were in cycle I’d report that Love Bomb and Sanguine is coming through. It’s not like full on bliss or euphoria but just a nice day kinda vibe. Something that might be a bit more socially acceptable than being in a state of bliss radiating out pure love, lol.

#285

Seems like if anything I still get some men intimidated as I’m walking around through stores, also appears to be some slight admiration at times.

The one woman I made eye contact with today was definitely in to me. I was on my way in, her on her way out. I forgot I saw two others later crossing the street while I was stopped. The first one I liked but she made quick eye contact but I really got the she prolly had bf vibes. The next one was actually sexier and she was more on the being single or available vibe. So far I’m not really missing New Primal in my stack but it also makes me wonder what fun is to come when I get back around to it.

I’m kind of thinking that it’s just a matter of sticking with it. Somebody said in one of their posts that they’ve been with DR:Rebirth for like a year and it’s having great benefits. Just now it seems like that might be the route, since I always think I need more healing, that’s an idea. And it’s a more general title that could have benefits for a wider range of areas of ones life.

Like, I think my stack is pretty general as is. KB, LB,Sanguine.

One week back on the keto diet. I like how my body looks already. I can see that my consistency with my workouts has paid off. Now it’s a matter of just trimming off the fat. My arms and upper body are showing more definition already. It’ll take more time to trim away at the gut, but I’m in no rush as it’s winter. I decided to do a more natural cycle with keto. Go hard keto all winter, then I’m already low fat by the time summer comes back around. Then I can enjoy myself because life is meant to be lived. But just don’t need to go overboard, just practice moderation in summer. Have a beer or two and live a little.

Once again I have some gunk around the breakup coming up. So we’re still dipping into that and still getting free from that past. I really like how unattached I was to any attractive women, even the ones who were into me. I don’t feel like I’m ready to dive back into dating and when I am I’ll probably have Primal in my stack again. I’ll probably still test out Heartsong after I decide that I can try something out other than Sanguine. But Genesis is still my first trade out in this stack, it’ll be for Love Bomb.

Way later end of night, seem to be touching into some anger. So the pattern looks like I’ll get into some sadness, then anger, but the anger isn’t about the breakup. Just kind of about life in general right now. Nothing out of control just normal emotions. I like to make that point because it seems like emotions are looked down upon by society. Well because everybody else probably suppressed theirs and they don’t like others feeling theirs. Yet it’s healthy to move through them and let them dissipate, discharge. But maybe that’s why some of us like being alone so much, we only have to deal with ourselves.

#286

Day 1 of 21: 15 mins KB2.

I remembered today that I’ll probably have increased libido at times. Sexual energy. So I’ll just get better and better at transmutation. But for me that increased libido comes with desire for a woman of my own. I think somtime in the future when I finally get to Heartsong that’ll be great. In the meantime I think I’ll just get better at transmuting into other things. I have lots of books I want to read and so maybe I’ll put my time to better use.

I realized that maybe I don’t have as much free time as I previously thought. If I think I have all this freetime I can put things off and if I do that, then it’s like I almost run out of time in the day to do what I wanted. It’ll make me better at just doing things sooner rather than later.

Having some feelings coming up tonight and also tired. Sleep schedule is something I guess I haven’t figured out yet. I don’t have a set schedule and sometimes I need to be up early.

The feelings are coming up from empathizing with others and wishing I could change things to make things better for everybody. But I also may not have all my stuff together yet. Tiredness is something I’d like to get handled and I’m sure things will get better as time goes on. Just a matter of riding the storms, nothing major though and I know I’ll bounce back. Just having a bit of a low, I haven’t done my workout yet today so I’m sure that will get some of that good chemistry flowing again.

I have a few things that I want to make my daily practice. I have fallen off a bit. A meditation and some other things but I haven’t gotten on track. I was completely set on it for one day and then life happens and I gotta wake up early, end up napping and not having that same drive. But I still did some cleaning on the spur of the moment and it felt good to get some stuff done rather than put it off until later.

#287

Day 2: No listening.

#288

Day 3: 15 mins LB. 15 mins Sanguine.

I saw that somebody has like a LB/LBFH custom. Maybe it has Sanguine too. That’s what I’m letting roll around on the back burner. An LB/LBFH/Sanguine custom. I’d probably want to keep the extra custom modules to a bare minimum if I make that custom.

It also seems that out of necessity I might want to start a title with physical healing instead of Genesis. I just need to get my physical healing turned up. Got some strained joints and so I think that’s possibly ligaments. I might have to go back to ground zero and focus on exercise that takes care of my pain points, and that’s what I was doing. I just wanted to start becoming more athletic too. So possible stack breaker for me would be a release of the updated Emperor Fitness.

#289

Day 4: No listening.

Good vibes so far. LB/Sanguine doing good.

Yea I’d say Sanguine is taking the edge off. I notice that I’m not getting caught up in negativity like I used to. You know the normal thing where people don’t realize they’re caught up into then other people get caught into and so on. Even if somebody doesnt’ have a harmonious communication style instead of having the attitude that I’m going to give it back to them, give them a taste of their own medicine, even if I do it’s not from that attitude, it’s more like okay that’s just normal for them.

But I feel like I don’t take on that negativity as much. Like that’s kind of how the negativity infects others when we don’t realize it, even if we do we’re still like I gotta give it back to them. Well it’s more like I can interact and if that’s there normal whatever, just to interact with them that’s fine, I’m just not going to unconsciously take it on and carry it into my future.

That’s why ultimately Sanguine one over Ascension in my stack at this time. I felt like Ascension would have me more feeling like I need to assert myself or maybe would have me more in the attitude of not having to take it and need to speak my mind. At least during recon with Ascension I think it would probably be more rocky in social situations. I like this approach of Sanguine, just kind of taking me out of the negativity zone yet still able to be more in harmony and let things roll off my back.

#290

Day 5: 15 mins KB 2.

#291

Day 6: No listening.

Getting a lot of looks lately. I have a habit of wanting to just be a grey man, blend in and go unnoticed when I’m out and about. But I figure I may not be able to do that thanks to my vibe. It’s not a big deal because people leave me alone and I can just focus on what my business is, rather than get carried away with any attention. I guess it’s just a side effect of the work I’ve put in and the subliminal help I get.

Well now had a bit of a situation again. I will be visiting a chiropractor tomorrow. I haven’t gone in like 5 years because I overcame the issue with some good exercise programs. I haven’t been doing that stuff for about a year because my back was fine. No chiro for like 5 years now. So I’ll be starting from the ground up again with those back/core workouts. So yea, I don’t want to change up my stack at all but necessity may mean I want to get on at least Spartan Apex for the recovery and physical stuff to get myself back in good condition and stay there. I’m open to Paragon and so I’ll do some research and ask some questions about it. Spartan is the newest updated physical fitness/healing related title. I haven’t purchased either store title yet, I just have Spartan Core in an old custom that I ran for a year, right before it got updated.

#292

Day 7: 15 mins LB. 15 mins Sanguine.

A few things seem to have fallen apart. Laid off for a month, my other gig hasn’t answered me about me getting paid. I’ve been forced into bare minimum workouts for the last week due to injuries. Some recon at times. But overall it’s nothing I focus on and am not stressing it much at all. I was getting good sleep until last night when I was uncomfortable and in pain. Got like 5 hours of sleep which for me is not ideal. But taking it all in stride.

#293

Day 8: No listening.

Been having some I’d say “weird” dreams lately. I don’t recall if I’d call any of them nightmares. The parts I remember are right before I wake up, so my theory is that’s when the conscious faculty is starting to come online. Where things start to seem nonsensical, but aren’t quite registered as so. It’s the kind of stuff that if I were fully conscious of course I’d recognize that this was dream material, and I’d probably go lucid. But that’s really rare. I think I had one of two experiences many years ago of becoming lucid in a dream.

There also seems to be some kind of thing where when the dreams get more nonsensical, it’s almost like that’s when the unconscious is finishing up it’s processing of stuff, to give the “reigns” back to the conscious state. Where in the unconscious state the mind just kind of goes with it because it isn’t limited by the physical world, perhaps.

I’ve done two days of Foundation Training. That’s the exercise program I revert to if I ever have back pain. It’s challenging and yet it seems to really work. I’ll do it 5 days a week take weekends off and should take me a month to go through the whole program. Then I will most likely switch to doing only one set of the exercises instead of 3 sets, just for maintenance. At that point I like to start working in what’s called the Mcgill Big 3. It’s planks, sideplanks, and birdogs. Just holding each rep for 10 seconds. I like to hold max contraction and that’s just really tough so I only do 1 set of those exercises.

I already feel stronger and the back pain is down. I think I understand now that some of these exercises just need to be part of my life now, maybe to start the day or as warmup or finishers.

#294

Day 9: 15 mins KB 2.

Lots of dreams lately and last night. I know one was a nightmare but I don’t remember what about.

So I’m on cycle 7 of LB, cycle 2 of Sanguine, 2nd run through of KB, first round was 2 cycles per stage, this cycle only 1.

#295

Day 10: No listening.

Had another minor setback. Tweaked the back again. I was feeling almost back to 100% moving as normal and I was sleeping and woke up to turn over. Felt the twinge and was able to go back to sleep. I haven’t gone to the chiropractor yet, hoping not to. I guess I got overly confident doing Foundation Training again, was feeling good and strong. I even took yesterday off because my legs were feeling a little sore. But I’ll be right back to it tonight and maybe everyday until I get back to 100%.

I’m anticipating a run of this new title Emperor Daddy. It actually kind of sounds like what I wanted when I was saying I would like to combine Primal and Chosen together and that’d be the ultimate combo for me.

I just wish there were some emphasis on physical health, which is pretty important as we put on the years.

If I make a custom I will have to put the torso module in there. and arms and legs. for elbows and knees.

#296

Day 11: 15 mins LB. 15 mins Sanguine.

#297

Day 12: No Listening.

My back pain seems to be taken care of pretty well with Foundation Training. I just do the program from the original book, it’s mostly getting into position and holding and squeezing those muscles. I think now they changed it to more like normal rep movements but it’s a subscription program I think. The original book works great for me.

I was able to work fine yesterday. I’ve gotta go in to work again today should be fine.

Kind of good moods lately, interspersed with some lower moods and moments of course. It’s kind of more internal focused for me in terms of how I experience it. I might sing and hum whatever, but it’s not about getting outside attention or needing anything from others in terms of approval.

I had some moments where I did kind of get into it with people just based on their programming and communication style, but it had no lingering effect on my state, and I also noticed there were times when I just wouldn’t buy into any negativity and was able to not react and get into it with them and just move on with my day.

I did have some of that really wishing I had some good friends stuff coming up. I also had some of that wanting a woman of my own come up. Also saw some women from my past show up and I used to have a high interest level, but now it’s like, nothing. Zero interest. I think if anything I’d like to find those one or two “true” connections that are loyal. I can see I still have to give my stack time to work, not 100% where I want to be when I’m around a bunch of strangers. But at the same time I guess I just want to be unbothered and centered no matter what comes along.

#298

Day 13: 15 mins KB 2.

Doing some physical work seems to really work on any recon.

Sometimes, based on the news stories of all these “natural” storms hitting the US, I wish I was still on my Survival Instinct custom. Ideally, I’d have run it until the end of 2024.

Having some slight feelings come up again in the wanting friends category. So rather than looking for that fulfillment outside I reminded myself to check with myself. So these feelings aren’t actually coming from what is outside of me. So if I feel lacking or wanting, I can see that these feelings are kind of moving me to seek that fulfillment from the outside. From my life experience I know that wanting something if anything pushes it away or at least makes it less than a satisfactory or lasting experience. When I’m not wanting, the best experiences have happened for me. When I am wanting it just perpetuates more of this unwanted feeling experience. So I will chalk it up to feelings coming up and showing me where I’m lacking, thus appearing to lack on the outside. So when I take care of my own stuff, things works themselves out. That doesnt’ mean I take no action, it means if action is required I take it without resistance and my efforts are more likely to be rewarded, because I’m not coming from a place of lack.

#299

Day 14: No listening.

I had some fears come up last night. That reminded me that on my first run through of KB I had some fears come up as well. I’ve been able to work through them a bit.

#300

Day 15: 15 mins LB. 15 mins Sanguine.

In a mostly good mood to start the day.

I saw an ad, at least I think it was an ad. It has some examples to clean up your writing and texts. Like removing unnecessary words and making things more concise. Also removing words that weaken your message. I can see I do that for sure. I know there are things I don’t know and that there are other possibilities. So I like to convey that. But in terms of getting cooperation and agreement and heck, even a date I can see I’ve got things to clean up. Part of it is wanting to come off as intelligent, and also having been trained in school, you must write this many words. I never agreed with that because I knew it was training people to be the opposite of concise, and I’m a to the point guy. Like this paragraph I could maybe chop it way down. So I can see I’ve got some habits to break in terms of my communication.

I think one of the examples they give is like, instead of hey do you want to maybe go to (place) if you’re free? Becomes, would you like to go to (place) at 8pm on (specific day)? Not the exact example but just to give you the idea of what they’re going for.