ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#275

Day 15: 15 mins LB, 15 mins Sanguine.

Today it’s come to my awareness that there seems to be some slight sense of being in a rut lately. I think with each cycle things will change of course. I also know Genesis will be the next title I bring to my stack, so I’m sure that will be just what I need.

Was out and about for awhile today. I definitely felt more at ease about being around people. Still feeling a certain confidence is what I might call it, about talking to women if I wanted to, or if the situation is right. Still seem to have some good attraction from the opposite sex. I did see one of the criminal element variety persons today while driving. I definitely got a bit uneasy. I would put it like this it’s like going from a dark room to a light room, a quiet silence to a sudden loud noise-some might even call it discernment. It’s just such a contrast and if you’re sensitive to vibes/energies whatever, it’s just really apparent sometimes. So I’m looking for Sanguine to really help with the oversensitivities like that.

#276

Day 16: No listening.

#277

Day 17: 15 mins KB 1.

Processing a lot of fear today. The root of all wanting, approval,control,security is the fear of death. But in Sedona Method you don’t go right after it, that’s why they have the other wants besides security. The guy who started the method said you should work on letting go of wanting approval and control first then when you’ve let go of alot of that you can work on the fear of death.

I just take whatever comes up. So for me it processes through my heart. That’s why I think it’s maybe heart/emotional/psychological trauma. When someone has a heart attack they use electricity to kind of boost the heart like a battery. So for whatever reason that seems to be how my traumas/energy/clocks whatever are processing. I do have a clean bill of health. This is one of the reasons I didn’t stick with my LBFH/Limit Destroyer custom. I had all the heart/love focused healing modules. So it was basically the same kind of thing. One of the things with fear is that one of the symptoms is a sped up heartbeat, and then you can have a racing mind. So for me the energy seems to channel through my heart and then it gets expelled and my body will actually shake it off. Even eckart tolle talks about this kind of thing that your body might shake when you’re releasing resistance.

I’m also not saying it’s the subliminal doing it. It’s just how the fear has been processing for me. KB is supposed to help release fears related to sexual energy, and since that’s basically also the creative force it’s kind of one of the most basic things. I didn’t listen to my loop of KB1 until later in the afternoon. I normally listen first thing in the am.

Got a 2 hour nap and feeling much better now.

#278

Day 18: no listening

I woke up from a nightmare maybe an hour after going to sleep. I didn’t have any increased heart rate or signs of stress. The nightmare was me and a woman i dont know who and what the relationship was. But we were both calm I’d say. We were walking into an airport and there was a man arguing and fighting with two women. So them we went to the next door and were walking and it was like eveynody was under the influence of some chaos program. We also knew there were horse running loose nearby and didnt see them. Then we were walking to the other door and three little kids walked by. Didn’t see their parents or anybody with them. Then we turned back and one fell and I woke up because it was disturbing. Like we maybe needed to do something but it was as if all the people were all on the chaos frequency and so I woke up. No rapid heartbeat or anything like the nightmares from when I first started this cycle. Seems this stack is going deep and hitting on fears and working out that fight or flight yet.

I’m really tired the past few days. I’m going to start doing Trauma Release Exercises again (TRE) to help move things along. Feels like my body could use a little help moving things on and resetting and adjusting. Also I’m restarting the keto diet.

Today seems more like some shadow work going on for me.

End of night update: I’ve only been getting like 7 hours of sleep lately. Sometimes I get a nap in but doesn’t always happen. I feel great when I’m resting but had to take the day off working out. My stack seems to have been hitting pretty deep so there’s definitely an adjustment period for my body. But I remembered that at some point I’ll get one of those peaks again. So I know I have something to look forward to. Kinda looking forward to that 5 days off. I think I’ll stick to 15 mins to finish out the cycle, 2 more listening days to go.

#279

Day 19: 15 mins LB, 15 mins Sanguine.

#280

Day 20: No Listening

Mostly bounced back now. It seems like I had to catch up on my sleep. Also had to take a couple days off working out. Like my body had a hard reset. That’s one of the things about fast change, it can have side effect and you may need to adjust, especially if it goes deep and the body releases old energy blockages programs etc. I still haven’t had a peak yet. I’d say this cycle started great got to the end of it a bit rough just in terms of needing rest. Yet it gave me a gift because all I had was my practices, and they weren’t helping so I changed the mentality to do them just to do them, for the sake of them. Eventually I felt way lighter and really if it weren’t for the rough patch where body said just rest, then I wouldn’t have approached my practices with such resolve.

Now I’m finally having some feelings come through again. A little bit of sadness, maybe missing out type of stuff, missed past opportunities. Nothing major at all in terms of feelings. Still feeling my body may be in rest mode for a couple more days at most.

——-

A little bit of sad type feeling coming up around situations in the past where people were just shitty to me, from their own bs they were blind to and probably still are. Once again I can remind myself that it’s so nice to not have any of those people in my life anymore. One place I go has a younger guy who just looks at me in a way i dont like and of course when there’s one they bring more people on board. So I just wont go there anymore, it’s a food place. I’ll just drive to another one for like a year and check back. I also had to do that with another place.

Other than that the old problem doesnt really happen. It’s this thing that had me buying all these books on spiritual/psychic protection but what helped most is not giving it my energy/attention.

When I know it’s happening I just move on and don’t go there anymore. Best solution so far. I just take it day by day and when I can be more present thats when I’m in a good place. I know that it may be a long haul situation in terms of working with the titles. But I have made great progress and I mist remember that. Now to what it was is a big change, not yet where I want to be but on the way.

#281

Day 21: 15 mins KB 1.

Now on to 5 days of no listening. Then I start KB 2.

I feel like my stack went deep this cycle. I was expecting more of the good feeling positive chill kinda stuff. But it went deep and my body released a lot, and it was hitting on fear.

I tried to pick up the work out again last night. I have a strain but was still able to complete 90% of my workout. I also added in a couple moves to my plyometric program. I was just doing pogos and then added in a warm up version and a double leg lateral hop. I realized I had no hop at all, I have quickness and speed. My pogos are more like jump rope jumps. But after I gave up playing sports I really didn’t do any running or jumping, so I’m basically starting from scratch. I also will be switching my kettlebell swings to Tuesdays and Thursdays, which have just been days off for the past few months. The quick max effort hopping stuff feels good, builds up the lungs, but it does stress the nervous system. So rather than try to do 3 workouts a week, I’ll just stick to the kettlebell swings for thursdays and tuesdays, burn some calories build some conditioning, help keep the blood moving through the body and will just keep taking it slow. I definitely feel and look more athletic in the month since I have been doing the pogos, maybe I wouldn’t feel comfortable joining a sport just yet. But as far as daily life goes it’s definitely helping me perform better.

9/25 new cycle with KB 2 starts!

Tonight I’m having some desire for having a woman. Not for sex, for that legit connection. A two way street, something mutual. I think that exists, even though my experiences with women are that if you genuinely care about them and want them they don’t want you. If you treat them well, well that makes them lose value. etc. So if that’s what it takes to have a relationship then I don’t want it. But a part of me does think that there are such things as genuine connections. But it’s been a long time since I had a truly legit friend, and even then it never lasted, but what does? The world is just a world of change. They say those things of permanence have no life.

#282

Yesterday I was ready to start counting my money to see if I could make a new custom. LB/Sanguine Custom or even Ascension/Sanguine custom. But it’s better to get at least 3 cycles before going the custom route, my own general rule.

I have a sense that I still have a bit of stress/fear/anxiety to be released from my body. Mentally I can see how I’ve come a long way. But as far as what a normal baseline is, I’m probably normal in today’s world. But I can still sense that I’m above what should be a baseline in terms of being free from stress. So things will just continue to get better as I stick with Sanguine.

The pull to do a custom was to basically bring back some of the modules from my original custom. Things like Eventide module, for basically keeping people out of my business or interested in my business. Just on a basic level of what I’d call human decency, I’m not concerned with invading your privacy, I think it’s wrong, not everybody does though. That’s why Eventide. Also Ascension would remedy this with time as well.

So Eventide is what I’d like back on board and You Are Not Alone and Safety Net if I could only have 3 custom modules in what is my current stack. I think Eventide would serve a dual purpose of protecting my privacy and also make me more mysterious which would up my attractiveness with the ladies.

From the Eventide custom module description: Secrecy is power. Hiding your secrets, plans, moves, ideas, practices and even parts of your lifestyle can have a profound impact on your overall effectiveness in life. Eventide is the module that will help you hide anything you do or plan so that no one can predict what you will do next. You will become an avatar of secrecy and unpredictability. It will also help you divert attention from yourself to someone or something else if necessary, while misdirecting those who are scrambling to unearth your secrets. Finally, for the spiritual practitioners, Eventide will help develop your understanding and usage of the law of silence – a spiritual principle that helps you understand the deep impact silence has on your practice.

So now I might actually put together a concept custom. See what modules I already have and can put in there. I’m kind of thinking making it a silent mind/physical relaxation custom. So that’d have Formless Clarity and I’d have to go check what modules would fit the bill. There’s also still some wanting to squeeze Spartan Apex in there for a core. So I can just play with it, I don’t have to spend any money or actually make it just yet.

So I made my first mock-up on a new custom idea. I’m just not into it. Yea I’d like alot of the modules. But it’s only one cycle in my new stack with Sanguine. I’ll definitely leave it alone for awhile. With each cycle the closer I get to 12 cycles on Love Bomb and then I plan to switch it out for Genesis.

#283

Yea it seems to me I’ll get great benefit from sticking with Sanguine. I feel like it can definitely help me to a lot of work in terms of returning me back to what we around here like to call the zero point.

I played with a custom last night and it end up being a lot of healing modules. I just don’t think it’s necessary yet because I’m getting lots of healing and once I get back to KB 4 that will be enough on my plate as is.

#284

Been having some moments where if I were in cycle I’d report that Love Bomb and Sanguine is coming through. It’s not like full on bliss or euphoria but just a nice day kinda vibe. Something that might be a bit more socially acceptable than being in a state of bliss radiating out pure love, lol.

#285

Seems like if anything I still get some men intimidated as I’m walking around through stores, also appears to be some slight admiration at times.

The one woman I made eye contact with today was definitely in to me. I was on my way in, her on her way out. I forgot I saw two others later crossing the street while I was stopped. The first one I liked but she made quick eye contact but I really got the she prolly had bf vibes. The next one was actually sexier and she was more on the being single or available vibe. So far I’m not really missing New Primal in my stack but it also makes me wonder what fun is to come when I get back around to it.

I’m kind of thinking that it’s just a matter of sticking with it. Somebody said in one of their posts that they’ve been with DR:Rebirth for like a year and it’s having great benefits. Just now it seems like that might be the route, since I always think I need more healing, that’s an idea. And it’s a more general title that could have benefits for a wider range of areas of ones life.

Like, I think my stack is pretty general as is. KB, LB,Sanguine.

One week back on the keto diet. I like how my body looks already. I can see that my consistency with my workouts has paid off. Now it’s a matter of just trimming off the fat. My arms and upper body are showing more definition already. It’ll take more time to trim away at the gut, but I’m in no rush as it’s winter. I decided to do a more natural cycle with keto. Go hard keto all winter, then I’m already low fat by the time summer comes back around. Then I can enjoy myself because life is meant to be lived. But just don’t need to go overboard, just practice moderation in summer. Have a beer or two and live a little.

Once again I have some gunk around the breakup coming up. So we’re still dipping into that and still getting free from that past. I really like how unattached I was to any attractive women, even the ones who were into me. I don’t feel like I’m ready to dive back into dating and when I am I’ll probably have Primal in my stack again. I’ll probably still test out Heartsong after I decide that I can try something out other than Sanguine. But Genesis is still my first trade out in this stack, it’ll be for Love Bomb.

Way later end of night, seem to be touching into some anger. So the pattern looks like I’ll get into some sadness, then anger, but the anger isn’t about the breakup. Just kind of about life in general right now. Nothing out of control just normal emotions. I like to make that point because it seems like emotions are looked down upon by society. Well because everybody else probably suppressed theirs and they don’t like others feeling theirs. Yet it’s healthy to move through them and let them dissipate, discharge. But maybe that’s why some of us like being alone so much, we only have to deal with ourselves.

#286

Day 1 of 21: 15 mins KB2.

I remembered today that I’ll probably have increased libido at times. Sexual energy. So I’ll just get better and better at transmutation. But for me that increased libido comes with desire for a woman of my own. I think somtime in the future when I finally get to Heartsong that’ll be great. In the meantime I think I’ll just get better at transmuting into other things. I have lots of books I want to read and so maybe I’ll put my time to better use.

I realized that maybe I don’t have as much free time as I previously thought. If I think I have all this freetime I can put things off and if I do that, then it’s like I almost run out of time in the day to do what I wanted. It’ll make me better at just doing things sooner rather than later.

Having some feelings coming up tonight and also tired. Sleep schedule is something I guess I haven’t figured out yet. I don’t have a set schedule and sometimes I need to be up early.

The feelings are coming up from empathizing with others and wishing I could change things to make things better for everybody. But I also may not have all my stuff together yet. Tiredness is something I’d like to get handled and I’m sure things will get better as time goes on. Just a matter of riding the storms, nothing major though and I know I’ll bounce back. Just having a bit of a low, I haven’t done my workout yet today so I’m sure that will get some of that good chemistry flowing again.

I have a few things that I want to make my daily practice. I have fallen off a bit. A meditation and some other things but I haven’t gotten on track. I was completely set on it for one day and then life happens and I gotta wake up early, end up napping and not having that same drive. But I still did some cleaning on the spur of the moment and it felt good to get some stuff done rather than put it off until later.

#287

Day 2: No listening.

#288

Day 3: 15 mins LB. 15 mins Sanguine.

I saw that somebody has like a LB/LBFH custom. Maybe it has Sanguine too. That’s what I’m letting roll around on the back burner. An LB/LBFH/Sanguine custom. I’d probably want to keep the extra custom modules to a bare minimum if I make that custom.

It also seems that out of necessity I might want to start a title with physical healing instead of Genesis. I just need to get my physical healing turned up. Got some strained joints and so I think that’s possibly ligaments. I might have to go back to ground zero and focus on exercise that takes care of my pain points, and that’s what I was doing. I just wanted to start becoming more athletic too. So possible stack breaker for me would be a release of the updated Emperor Fitness.

#289

Day 4: No listening.

Good vibes so far. LB/Sanguine doing good.

Yea I’d say Sanguine is taking the edge off. I notice that I’m not getting caught up in negativity like I used to. You know the normal thing where people don’t realize they’re caught up into then other people get caught into and so on. Even if somebody doesnt’ have a harmonious communication style instead of having the attitude that I’m going to give it back to them, give them a taste of their own medicine, even if I do it’s not from that attitude, it’s more like okay that’s just normal for them.

But I feel like I don’t take on that negativity as much. Like that’s kind of how the negativity infects others when we don’t realize it, even if we do we’re still like I gotta give it back to them. Well it’s more like I can interact and if that’s there normal whatever, just to interact with them that’s fine, I’m just not going to unconsciously take it on and carry it into my future.

That’s why ultimately Sanguine one over Ascension in my stack at this time. I felt like Ascension would have me more feeling like I need to assert myself or maybe would have me more in the attitude of not having to take it and need to speak my mind. At least during recon with Ascension I think it would probably be more rocky in social situations. I like this approach of Sanguine, just kind of taking me out of the negativity zone yet still able to be more in harmony and let things roll off my back.

#290

Day 5: 15 mins KB 2.

#291

Day 6: No listening.

Getting a lot of looks lately. I have a habit of wanting to just be a grey man, blend in and go unnoticed when I’m out and about. But I figure I may not be able to do that thanks to my vibe. It’s not a big deal because people leave me alone and I can just focus on what my business is, rather than get carried away with any attention. I guess it’s just a side effect of the work I’ve put in and the subliminal help I get.

Well now had a bit of a situation again. I will be visiting a chiropractor tomorrow. I haven’t gone in like 5 years because I overcame the issue with some good exercise programs. I haven’t been doing that stuff for about a year because my back was fine. No chiro for like 5 years now. So I’ll be starting from the ground up again with those back/core workouts. So yea, I don’t want to change up my stack at all but necessity may mean I want to get on at least Spartan Apex for the recovery and physical stuff to get myself back in good condition and stay there. I’m open to Paragon and so I’ll do some research and ask some questions about it. Spartan is the newest updated physical fitness/healing related title. I haven’t purchased either store title yet, I just have Spartan Core in an old custom that I ran for a year, right before it got updated.

#292

Day 7: 15 mins LB. 15 mins Sanguine.

A few things seem to have fallen apart. Laid off for a month, my other gig hasn’t answered me about me getting paid. I’ve been forced into bare minimum workouts for the last week due to injuries. Some recon at times. But overall it’s nothing I focus on and am not stressing it much at all. I was getting good sleep until last night when I was uncomfortable and in pain. Got like 5 hours of sleep which for me is not ideal. But taking it all in stride.

#293

Day 8: No listening.

Been having some I’d say “weird” dreams lately. I don’t recall if I’d call any of them nightmares. The parts I remember are right before I wake up, so my theory is that’s when the conscious faculty is starting to come online. Where things start to seem nonsensical, but aren’t quite registered as so. It’s the kind of stuff that if I were fully conscious of course I’d recognize that this was dream material, and I’d probably go lucid. But that’s really rare. I think I had one of two experiences many years ago of becoming lucid in a dream.

There also seems to be some kind of thing where when the dreams get more nonsensical, it’s almost like that’s when the unconscious is finishing up it’s processing of stuff, to give the “reigns” back to the conscious state. Where in the unconscious state the mind just kind of goes with it because it isn’t limited by the physical world, perhaps.

I’ve done two days of Foundation Training. That’s the exercise program I revert to if I ever have back pain. It’s challenging and yet it seems to really work. I’ll do it 5 days a week take weekends off and should take me a month to go through the whole program. Then I will most likely switch to doing only one set of the exercises instead of 3 sets, just for maintenance. At that point I like to start working in what’s called the Mcgill Big 3. It’s planks, sideplanks, and birdogs. Just holding each rep for 10 seconds. I like to hold max contraction and that’s just really tough so I only do 1 set of those exercises.

I already feel stronger and the back pain is down. I think I understand now that some of these exercises just need to be part of my life now, maybe to start the day or as warmup or finishers.

#294

Day 9: 15 mins KB 2.

Lots of dreams lately and last night. I know one was a nightmare but I don’t remember what about.

So I’m on cycle 7 of LB, cycle 2 of Sanguine, 2nd run through of KB, first round was 2 cycles per stage, this cycle only 1.