Day 14 No listening.
I was out and about and was experiencing some of that habitual or patterned anxiety. It doesn’t hold me back like it used to. I know there’ll be other times where I’m feeling more free and confident and uninhibited. Just part of the process.
Day 15 3 mins KB 4, 3 mins new LB.
In my last 2 listens I can notice how things kind of queue up and then I have some almost imperceptible recon/resistance come up after listening. I noticed that thanks to the contrast of feeling good before listening and just being aware that oh now I’m in resistance or caught up in the head. I haven’t gotten it down to where I have a timeframe for how long that listen takes to process.
At times I still wish I had You Are Not Alone Module in the mix and something to help physical recovery. After my work weekend I’m still a little sore until now, that’s 3 days. Then it’s more of an experiment now. I took those days off from working out but at the same time there’s some all or nothing thinking getting in the way. So I have to remind myself, consistency over intensity for the time being.
I have a new idea. Rather than make a custom with new LB and Sanguine. The better idea might be just to alternate them. I’ll have 5 cycles of new LB under my belt. So after my long washout, I could switch over to new Sanguine. But I’m still holding on to new LB a little. But at the same time, some time with Sanguine will be beneficial.
Still no signs of needing less sleep. Most days I can get a 20min to an hour long nap in.
Day 16 No listening.
I’m feeling like new Love Bomb is in effect today- I’m feeling pretty good since waking up today.
Out and about still had some anxiety, when in public but saw more signs that my appeal to women is increasing. I don’t even feel that I look good today.
Day 17 3 mins new Primal.
4 days left in this cycle. it went fast then for a few days it seemed long now it seems so fast again.
I feel like I definitely need to spend more time with my stack. New LB and new Primal aren’t going anywhere. I was set on KB staying in my stack no matter what but since I think I read that the new KB will be out this year, I could try Sanguine. I’ve really wanted to try sanguine. If I had extra cash I’d be tempted to just put together that Sanguine/Love Bomb custom.
I am actually considering to try out Phoenix after my 30 day washout. I’ve got 5 cycles of new LB and 4 with new Primal. Phoenix will definitely clear some ground and I would only use it for a max of 2 cycles.
Day 18 No listening.
3 days left! I feel ready for this 30 day washout-no listening. I think I might’ve taken 21 days off and sometimes I’d take 10 days off. But 30 will be my longest break.
I think a few rounds of Rebirth will do me good. I can see I still have the past coming up and clouding my now.
Yep. I’m looking forward to running DR: Phoenix now. I’m still going through healing mostly. Recon of resolving on the other than conscious level with the new programming and new desired reality. I’d really like to run both of the new dragons. But for now it’s looking like I’m open to the recommended path of Ascension and then Emperor. But I only have Ascended Mogul.
Almost forgot to post Day 19 was Sunday. Day 20 is monday.
3 mins KB 4, 3 mins new LB.
I’m still going to say that this cycle has been way more healing than anything else. So I’ll probably have a good washout. That’s new for me since last 5 days off, where the washout seems more productive than during the 21 days cycle.
My last listening day before 30 days off will be a full 15 min loop of new Primal.
I’m planning to run a full loop of 15 mins of DR Phoenix 1x a week. And KB 4 the rest of the time. Not sure on how long. I’ll probably try out 6 mins of KB 4 when I start up that next cycle. 2 title stack. Then I will probably onboard new Sanguine finally.
So I guess I could chalk up the healing to KB 4 since that’s the only thing new these last 2 cycles. When I was on 2 customs at once and one was my LBFH/Limit destroyer custom, it had lots of heart healing and it seemed to have some physical symptoms. Since KB 4 I’ve been touching on some of that kind of thing but definitely not to that extreme. It does have Paragon on my radar so I can maybe root out any health related anxieties. I did get a full check up and got a clean bill of health when I was previously experiencing those physical symptoms.
This also has me considering either just cycling back through KB from stage 1. That would let me keep my current stack. If I stay with KB 4, I’m thinking I would swap out new Primal for Sanguine.
Or just swap out new LB and new Primal for Genesis.
Day 20 No listening.
So today I’m feeling what I’d call the positive aspects again. Like the sunshine is out. Feeling pretty good and grounded so it’s not carried away or where I need go around trying to make other people happy or anything. I feel like I could talk to people and even if not that’s great too. Kind of a hootless state I’d say. So nearing the end of the cycle I think this is one of my best days.
I was feeling sad and stuff was coming up this whole cycle. So it had me thinking that I needed more healing with DR: Phoenix. When all I really needed was time. I still think DRP is a good idea. Just may not need to be as immediate as I thought. The recon this cycle wasn’t the kind that had me wanting to run away, it had me wanting to go for it that’s what I was ready for Phoenix. Now I can see that it’s just a matter of sticking with it and KB4 is more dense than I anticipated, especially with new Primal. It’s just not too dense. Manageable yet challenging. So now I think I’m going to stay the course after the 30 day break.
Also a week or two ago I stumbled on a video and somebody was talking about the Alta Major chakra. I’ve never heard of such a thing. But it’s basically located at the atlas, where the spin and skull connect. And that’s where I started having new “energetic” sensations when I started KB 4. Again, I don’t do anything with chakras. It just seems to correlate or at least lead credence to KB increasing and/or freeing energy blocks for better energy flow through the energetic pathways. I am not well versed in any of that either besides knowing the basic 7 chakras and the basic chinese stuff of the meridians.
I’ve also noticed an increase in libido lately. So I’m having to learn how to transmute it. Also sometimes it almost gets to frustration, I also think it’s related to those feelings of wanting to live life but not knowing what to do-whatever that is seems to be still getting refined. I think for me it’s about coming back to the now and then whenever I need to do something it’s not that I force action, it just happens naturally.
Still some slight wanting to switch titles again. I just read another post and what came up for me is a little bit of wanting to drop Love Bomb for something else. But I think I’m still on this stack for the long haul. I’d like to make it 12 months maybe, but I just have to take it cycle by cycle. It’s cycle 5 and I don’t think I’m where I want to be with new LB.
End of night:
I’m really going to see if I can get on Dragon Reborn Red after my 30 days off. I just read through DRR copy and that’s what I want. DRR and KB.
Day 21 15 mins new Primal.
No probs so far with 15 mins. It seemed like once I started KB 4 I had to drop my listening times down.
30 days off until August 30. I’d like to do DRR and DRG alternating. st1 drr then st 1 drg like that through both programs. I’ll keep KB on. Not sure how I’ll need to adjust my listening times yet.
After my time on my current stack I feel like it’s time to just go for it with the healing. In the next year I might have no choice but to go back to working full time and I’d like to clear out anything in my programming that has put me on the radar of shitty people and shitty situations. I’d also like to get back to my zero point, as it’s called around here. I think a big part of the shitty situations and people I was around with work situations, was that I just thought I had no other choice.
I went to walmart today. And I was shopping. I noticed this one guy who worked there. He saw me and looked terrified. I think he might’ve been on drugs. Then he was just moving quickly and kept looking back at me. lol. But I’m mostly under the radar lately, which I’m cool with.
Yesterday I did notice that after my 15 minute loop I was more in my head. The recon process of the old programming and memories coming up into consciousness. But it’s just a matter of not even efforting but just kind of noticing and remembering that the best thing is to come back to the now.
I guess I still feel like deep healing are the best titles for me to run. I like the coming back to my zero point idea. Going with what’s most natural to me and what most flows for me. I guess I fell out of that because I still thought I had to do things like everybody else. Get a job work all day, maybe have fun on the weekends and maybe take a vacation once a year and work for 40 years or whatever.
I think in the next 3 months DRR and DRG would be most beneficial to me. 3 more months of new Primal and new Love Bomb would be great, but I’m still drawn to the healing. Still feeling like my foundation needs to be reset. Primal and LB probably gave me the confidence to get back to the healing focus. At the same time they’re kind of a distraction and prolonging my facing the dragons.
My real focus is just getting back to my zero point. I think everybody has had those moments when they were fully aligned with there “true” selves and were living in flow. It’s just that life and the people and programming we take in weren’t helping us stay true to ourselves, they were just putting more shoulds and have tos and more about trying to fit in and get approval and happiness from things and events and people which might not even be in our control.
Today I’m in a really good mood. Feeling good. Not sure I had a day where I felt this good during the listening cycle. Seems with the addition of KB 4 that I get the best feelings on my breaks in between cycles.
So that has me planning to go back to KB3 when I run DRR. When I was on KB 3 I was able to run 15 minutes of my other titles alternating 15 mins and 3 mins no problem.
Today I kind of had a change in my thinking about next cycle. If I’m already going through some pretty good healing with KB4, why not just stick it out? That would let me spend at least 4 cycles with KB4. I don’t want to be in a healing dedicated stack over the holiday months. So it could be ideal to just stick with the current stack as I’d originally planned. Just finish out the year on it. Then start up the healing focus in January with Phoenix then DRR.
Besides the one day of feeling great this washout has been mostly healing themed. Nothing major but I’d say definitely healing so far.
I went to this place I’ve gone once before. The previous time one person ahead of me in line, same this time. But there was a couple sitting there and I was having the old anxiety experience. I’ve been trying some breathing exercises and humming lately to train the nervous system to stay calm. I try to do the breathing as soon as I notice that the pattern of anxiety is coming up again.
So I didn’t do any breathing while I was there, I was doing it on the way there though. It hasn’t seemed to work yet but I’ll just keep up the practice and habit. So after the person gave my food I kind of got back to being present and said thanks and was out the door.
I started driving and it was looking really apparent to me that I need to do new Sanguine. But of course I’m not sure I can peel myself off my current line up or stack just yet.
So I went back to the self inquiry/checking. I went well, what did I do to cause this? Just asking, not prying or trying. Like asking hey is the sun out? yes. Am I wearing socks right now? Yes. Is my car blue? no. So I’m not sure if any apparent answer came up but I was still in the experience of resistance. So I just move on to checking or noticing if I’m wanting to change that. Well yea. Okay so could I let go of wanting to change it? yes would I? yes. When? now.
So I did only maybe 4 rounds of that at most. But I noticed that things were starting to come up from the unconscious. Like what I thought were maybe random memories. Anyway I was able to drop the resistance and after that things were flowing again. But then I noticed that once the resistance was gone the mind was into its habit of trying to figure everything out again. I didn’t make a big deal, just more could observe it. Then I did the checking of could I let go of wanting to figure it out? would I? when? and eventually the mind forgot about it, kind of like when you’re onto the next dream, when you’re dreaming. or meditating, before you know it you’re caught up in the next thought. Well after that eventually the mind just quiets down for awhile and I just enjoy that and of course if more resistance or feelings come on I just do more checking on them and things eventually get back to flowing again.
I still really want to do new Sanguine. But it might be another case of I’ve come too far to stop the current stack. I’m still planning to start January with the Dragon’s and new Sanguine might find it’s home in that period.
Close to 10 days washout. It seems I might be back to sleeping 10 hours a night.
I think I’m actually at day 9 of my washout. I don’t miss it. I’m actually appreciating the time off subs. Letting myself relax without any pressure.
I’ve had a belief surface a few times in the last few days. It’s the “I’m not good enough.” belief. So I’m actively working to remove it as it surfaces. It’s a really basic, simple belief but it certainly limits ones’ experience and opportunities. I’ve been finding it come up in regards to dating related stuff. Intellectually I know I’m good enough and everybody has their own BS and nobody is better than anybody else, we’re all humans etc.
I’ve also been thinking that since I’ve done new Primal for 4 cycles, and since adding KB 4 it’s been really dense. I’ve been thinking that I could go back to the most basic alpha title, Ascension. It’s lighter than new Primal, and KB 4 will already be working on a lot of stuff in terms of healing for what it does. Primal does kind of crossover some of that. So I’m now considering just to take it back and start from the ‘beginning,’ and go with Ascension for the rest of the year.
Hey, what are your results of running Primal for 4 cycles?
I feel like it’s helped me tap into my masculinity more. I’m less apt to give any attention to what I don’t want or like. I’ve seen some increase in attraction from women at times, a bit of intimidation in men at times. Sometimes I feel really optimistic and good. I don’t think I’ve had massive results and partially due to being on KB4 now, it’s been more healing and dense. So that’s why I feel like it’s time to switch over to Ascension. Dating and seduction is not my focus and I think Ascension will be better for me with where I’m at and where I want to get so I can get greater gains from Primal. Though I’d still say Primal is one of my favorite titles so far. Just need some Ascension foundation maybe.
So the next belief that was coming up was I’ll never get it, in regards to what I want. So I’ve just been working on it as “I’ll never get what I want.” Another basic belief that causes big roadblocks in life.
So that’s why I’m excited to switch focus a little bit with Ascension. Yea, it’s not the latest tech but the version it is, has had reports of it being a fast acting title with excellent results. The kind of results I need. Plus it’s just not as packed as new Primal, so that’s probably a great contributor to it’s fast acting reputation.
Didn’t get a good night’s sleep 2 nights ago. Probably got too much sleep last night.
I’m feeling a little cranky now. My mind was expressing in ways that I’ve been to averse in others. Just being kind of judgemental and annoyed or whatever.
Also got me thinking that Alchemist would be good. If it could wash away all that energy and patterned stuff I picked up from others. It’s easy to see in others that when they hang around certain people they pick up their mannerisms and phrasing and stuff. When I’ve seen it in myself I was off put by it. It’s what I call the downside of being empathic. Taking on others stuff as one’s own. I guess if flipped positive it could be good, it’d be that concept of consciously taking on the attributes of others that we want. But when it’s come out in myself it’s been like unconscious, meaning that I didn’t want to do it but it just expressed through me in the moment. It wasn’t even what I’d call a way I wanted or liked. Like just expressing their energy and pattern, and I wouldn’t say it was a useful one. So to me I go back to working on in me, whatever that is that would get me to pick up others BS whether that be their energy or patterns, whatever.
I still don’t like either side, I want to be the purest expression of my own zero point. Without mucking it up with my own personal stuff. What I like is when things come together like when you do something and you’re just in the flow state. Whatever you did or made, after the fact if you’re being honest with yourself you’re not gonna say “I did that.” It’s like life or whatever did it through you.