ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#181

Day 5 30 seconds KB 4, 3 mins new LB.

I woke up today from a good dream. In the dream I got a job doing some temp cleaning work. So I was cleaning this empty office, just vacuuming. And it appeared to be attached to another area, almost like a mall. In retrospect had I become lucid I could have went exploring lol. So I get done with the cleaning and there was nobody around, then the boss or something came as I was leaving to lock up the place.

Then all of the sudden it was like people were showing up so we had to wait. I was just standing there waiting. Then I noticed that inside there was another small work space. Maybe a salon or something. There was a hot woman, more my type, and I’d be surprised to see a woman like that around where I live but anything is possible. So she saw me through the window and she liked me. I knew she like my eyes and eyebrows or something. So I noticed my own reflection of my eyes in the window. Then I woke up lol. So now I’m kind of in a good mood. Feeling good again. So to me I broke through another level and that recon has now provided some greener grass.

I haven’t listened yet. It doesnt’ seem like a big deal to listen to my subs but I will. Just kind of enjoying those good cozy feelings when you’re still waking up. Since I don’t have a strict schedule I’m just going to let go of more resistance and just let myself be and enjoy some good feelings, if its lazy that’s fine with me. That also seems to be a thing with creatives, they’re not strict with schedules and stuff because on some level they know that that creativity will show up when it does and that’s when they get to work to ride that sort of windfall.

I’ve had this book since 2012 and I remember I just had so much resistance and would try to force myself to read and learn things to get out it and live the life I wanted. That didn’t work so well. I think this book so far is kind of a right time thing. The energy of money by maria nemeth, I’m not saying I think I’m going to get rich but certainly gain new insights to help me move things along. I listened to The Science of Getting Rich like 20 times earlier this year, but it just didn’t click for me. I’ve been making longer posts in this journal and I think that helps me too. Just putting my thoughts down and helps me clarify things and I can’t point to like a specific thing it helps but journaling does seem to be a positive for some reason. I guess in a way it’s like throwing everything against the wall and finding what sticks. There’s no real rules to it and it just seems to help things flow better.

—Evening Update—

I finally skimmed through the Dragon Reborn Red thread. I’m impressed. I’m really thinking about running that before Khan now.

Also some nice little money synchronicities are coming in. Just unexpected things. Nothing major but it will keep me from waiting until my next pay day. One thing was an item that I was thinking about yesterday. I’ve had it up probably the whole year online for sale. Well somebody out of the blue messaged me about it, it’s not even listed anymore I think. Then my job that went to part time will be paying me this week and I though I would have to wait until after the 1st of July, that was our previous arrangement. But now I’ll go to weekly since I work less. I have started daily releasing on a money goal I’ve had. I missed a few days but I keep coming back to that and releasing on self love to start the day.

—End of Night Update—

I am pretty set on Dragon Reborn Red being my next sub. I’d like to continue to run DR and new Sanguine with it. I still have a couple cycles and a 30 day washout to go. So I don’t have to make anything concrete just yet. Also I’d wanted to focus on fun for the rest of the year but DRR looks like the full package I’ve been waiting for. It’ll be great and am kind of planning to run regular Khan after it. But maybe I’ll feel differently by then.

#182

Day 6 No listening.

I think my longer journal entries have gotta be that new Love Bomb scripting.

I haven’t really noticed anything that stands out in terms of relationships with Love Bomb. But there’s definitely been that inner healing I would say.

Yesterday I would say I was touching on bliss and joy again. So I’d say that was finally equivalent to some of the lows I was experiencing at times previously. I would say probably most of the healing was from new LB more than anything. Just going over the new LB objectives makes me go, yea that makes sense that I would have lows and recon while the changes were happening internally for me to be able manifest and express those objectives for myself.

Was laying in bed relaxing. I noticed some vibrational sensation in my area, we’ll say the root chakra area. So the noticing of subtle energies has already been happening after just two listens of KB 4. After my first listen I was noticing a vibration sensation in my throat area that felt good. And just some general subtle goodness in the body.

I think I will save Dragon Reborn Red to start off the new year with. I don’t want to risk the recon during the end of the year with the holidays and possible extra stress anyway. So I’ll still plan on finishing out the year with Daredevil on a high/fun note.

I have also been feeling like I need more rest and again, haven’t gotten back into the exercise daily habit. I am able to read and learn though and focus on my inner work at times, but now that the previous wave of recon feelings is gone, it might be a good time to build a meditation habit.

Did some tapping on my resistance to working out. Didn’t do my workout immediately but I’m getting around to it now.

I started and just had some thoughts come up, like I feel this feeling that’s kind of always there and I was able to see that it comes from this thought/story/belief that they’re judging me. So it takes my focus away from me and what I’m doing and puts it on some perceived threat. That threat isn’t even a reality int his moment now! Just something I picked up when I was a kid and seeing how people were judgemental and prone to conflicts and things. Wanting to avoid it but all I would’ve had to do was check is that happening to me now? No. But instead I took on a limiting belief.

#183

Day 7 15 mins new Primal.

Primal is just calling to me today so I’m going to bump it up to 2x a week this cycle.

I also think some buffer room on KB 4 might be a good thing as well. Give it some breathing room since it seems to be working pretty good.

I did notice some recon this evening. I was starting to have the power struggles going on in the mind. Just old situations coming up with some anger. I didn’t have to fight with them though and it passed pretty quickly and smoothly, no residue. Wisdom and resilience prevailed.

No ill effects from my 15 mins of new Primal so far. I’ve been doing it for the last 3 cycles at 1x per week. But I finally felt like I wanted more of that Primal influence in the mix. Plus it could theoretically give a buffer for KB 4 and new LB. I think LB may have been the main culprit in terms of any recon.

Also I have been feeling drive and motivated lately. Like I want to get a job but all I can do is apply and contact people. At the same time I don’t want to feel like I’m trapped and stuck in a schedule. If nothing else that will probably end up getting channeled back into working out, learning, and doing my inner work. So I’ll be ready when the opportunity comes around.

Also: I’ve been noticing some change in the procrastination. Before it was all my workout, now it’s shifting to procrastinating running to the store and having a morning smoke and a drive. It’s like part of me is pulling me to stay put and get my workout in first. So that’s a change and sign that things are moving. Some change workers/coaches say that it’s less about right or wrong and good or bad sometimes and just a matter of getting things moving. Because when something changes that’s a sign that the old pattern is breaking up or at least changing so we’re going to at least get a new result.

Also: I have switched inspiration on my custom. I’m thinking a KB4, new Love Bomb custom. I’ll do my best to keep it tight, sticking with what I think are the necessity modules. I do plan to run the new Dragon Reborn Red as my next major, I’d just run the custom with DRR. So that kind of has me eyeing modules that are probably in the Sanguine territory. For a stress free, relaxed body and bulletproof mind.

I just got into it with a family member. All I did was ask how they were or something. Then they started into their story of misery. I made the mistake of holding the door of solutions and possibilities beyond that open. I got accused of playing the victim and made to feel bad. I bounced back really quickly. But I dunno, it kind of made me realize that some people really don’t want solutions. And I don’t like people generally because it’s complaining and what I call drama. I’ve always been willing to listen but I’ve been bad at remaining neutral, I tend to take on their feelings and I see that that’s not productive. So the best thing I can see is just to be okay with not engaging people. I’m not going to change them, sure I’d like to help them, but I need to keep in mind they may say they want help but deep down they don’t want help at all. Kinda like when a woman tells you the kind of man she wants, you be that and you find out that’s not who she wants to be with, but it’s just what she says.

I was feeling like I was ready to get back into relationship and friends etc. But now I’m kind of thrown for a loop. Is it really worth it? I don’t think so but when it comes down to practice, so far no, it’s not worth it. I see it as an opportunity to go deeper into what I really want. But it’s like damn, what now?! I feel like inner work is number one priority but also basically being a con man without stealing or hurting people is the way to go. So I can mix in the people world but I don’t have to be affected by it. Any titles for that?

I will say another insight rolled down the stream. It’s that I don’t feel rejected at all. In fact it shows me that I don’t care. That’s a positive in my book. If I had that with me throughout my most challenging times life would look very different at this point.

I haven’t been in any resistance since the bs earlier. Now things have kept flowing and I’ve even had some creativity come through, able to crack some jokes with internet friends.

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#184

Day 8 No listening.

Last night I had a headache but I was so tired I was able to sleep through it. I woke up earlier and it was still there slightly but I went back to sleep. It seems to be all gone now.

I had a dream where I was watching tv and there was company. So I went back downstairs to my bedroom. My bedroom had been emptied out and needed to be vacuumed. Some of my family had filled up the storage room behind my bedroom, there’s a door to that room. And I wasn’t happy about it so I yelled at them and I woke up.

I forgot that when I first started subliminals and whenever I’d start a new title I’d have these dreams like that where maybe my living space was being rearranged or even moving into a new place. So that second loop of Primal this week must have shifted things around.

I am feeling tired and I get 10 hours of sleep most nights. I never got to the less sleep as others have reported on Khan Black yet.

My little incident with a family member was about money. They were worried about money. Which is quite coincidental because I’ve been reading this book called The Energy of Money. The same thing the sections I read today talked about! That we don’t like to look at what we do with money, and it can make us crazy having to deal with it. I had it sitting in the bathroom and so the person saw it and maybe it was just a subconscious thing, got that person thinking about money and some situations that they got taken advantage of. Yet I could also see that had it happened to me they’d appear to have so much confidence and have so much to say that I should do, yet it happens to them and they act helpless and feel like they have no control, like they’re a victim! So that got projected on me.

Anyway it made me realize that I need to brush up on some communication strategies. I’ve got a basic set that I learned and have just stuck with. Basically like well if it happened to me, or here’s how I handled a similar situation. And instead of approaching people how they approach me it’s almost like I need to approach them how I want to be approached because they don’t like the approach they themselves use either, when it’s used with them! But that’s also not true in every case. So I see my error was appearing to lack empathy, yet empathy is what’s gotten me in so much trouble in the past.

#185

Day 9 15 mins KB 4, 3 mins new LB.

I have 2 customs, actually 3 (1 that I’ve never used, I was intimidated by it). I’m probably going to take a break from new LB next cycle and run only 2 titles, new Primal and KB 4. Then I still plan on 30 days off. Then I’m kind of thinking I’ll want to try out my customs again just for refreshers before I commit to Dragon Reborn and/or a new custom.

Noticing some anxiety coming on today. I have also been procrastinating on doing the regular errands lately and being around people. So some rubber band effect going on, some pulling back. The two steps forward one step back kind of thing, but at this point I think it’s just part of the process sometimes.

Noticing that despite having anxiety and not wanting to be around people, I’m still in good spirits and not putting any pressure on myself while I’m at home. So it guess it’s kind of that process of mixing and/or transmuting.

I’ve had these brain overload symptoms (just happens when I get into overload territory) that first came up back when the subs were where you could basically listen 8 hours +. So after trying something new I can say that yea that headache I had the othernight was probably an overload symptom. Feeling extra tired too.

So I’m going to go back to what I’ve been doing. 1x week I’ll do Primal and I’ll keep alternating KB 4 between 15 mins and 30 seconds (I could tweak it but I don’t want to overthink things right now) I’ll keep new LB at 3 min loops.

I do want to switch up to having Primal be the priority title. But I could try to find the balance between all three and find that sweet spot. For me that would mean starting all titles at 30 seconds and just increasing 30 seconds until I get into recon territory. But for now new Primal goes back to 1x a week I’ll just be patient with it.

I would say Love Bomb kicked in and had like a half hour good conversation with the same person I had a problem with the other day. I think they saw their own BS and sometimes I forget how raising in consciousness isn’t always easy for a great majority of people. It involves in seeing through our own BS first of all, and that’s not a fun thing. Until it is. But the half hour or 40 minutes just flew by in to time. I noticed that I wasn’t resisting anything and that Love Bomb was probably working it’s magic somehow.

Then I went back to being by myself. I think if anything I’ll finally trade out new LB for Heartsong next cycle. I think it could be the most beneficial thing in terms of finding some close friends if not my soulmates. I think if I found my woman that’d be fine at this point. I’m not big into going out anyway, more of a homebody. It still seems I have some sort of journey into the financial success realm, but Heartsong is probably long over due for me anyway.

#186

Day 10 No listening.

I’m probably going to microloop this week after my brush with overload. Half way there. So far it seems like the first half of this cycle has flown by.

#187

Day 11 30 seconds new Primal, evening listen.

I listened in the evening. Had to change the schedule around a bit today.

30 seconds New Primal.

I’ve been into the wanting to change titles again. I’m not sure new Primal is the best title at this time. I was ready to switch to Emperor Fitness but then Spartan Apex is the most updated fitness related title. So that’s what I’d want to run. And then my custom that I ran last year has it but not the updated version. And it might be worth it to just update it since there’s no timeframe on updated Survival Instinct.

I am really thinking I’d like to start back up on the SI/Spartan custom again. Sticking to a workout routine and staying healthy is really one of my top priorities. More so than dating, I don’t have a career or financial situation that supports a dating life yet. I also do want to run Heartsong. So I could end up finishing the year on Heartsong and my SI/Spartan custom and KB 4.

I think that covers all the bases for the most laser focused healing and priority for me at this time. I think Daredevil and Primal could be a good combo for me, but I also still think about Chosen as one of my favorites, I just felt like I still had some inner game work before I could really make the most of Chosen. So that would be new Love Bomb/Heartsong territory.

I think the best title would be maybe Inner Circle, but that relationship healing has been nipping at my heals for so long, I’m just ready to face it with Heartsong.

#188

Day 12 No listening.

I have bounced back from my dip into overexposure and recon. Today I’m feeling that optimism again and am feeling good about being on New Primal.

I still may switch out New Love Bomb with Spartan Apex for a few cycles to break my workout slump. I also just took a week break from keto. I’m not feeling disciplined about it, but it was easy being on keto. Sometimes what trips me up is taking a week off and then I do have to call upon that will power and discipline to stick with keto for 2 weeks again, before I have a free day to eat whatever.

I’m still putting Heartsong on the back burner because I think New Primal is kind of a dense title, and I’m sure I could use some more work from Primal but Spartan Apex seems like what I need to snap out of my diet/fitness slump.

End of night Update: Well, as much as I want to run Spartan Apex, I’ll wait until after my 30 day washout. I think I have to keep KB and new LB in my stack at all times. So my third slot will be a title that if I really want to I can switch out after 4 cycles as needed. I’m setting the new custom idea aside for awhile. I might go back to the new LB/KB4 custom idea since I plan to keep those titles in my stack indefinitely.

#189

Day 13 30 seconds KB 4, 30 seconds new Love Bomb.

I feel like my energy is flowing better today. I’m kind of seeing that in order to ride the wave of yea, I have this extra vitality, the secret is to just get moving. In the past I had a problem of over intellectualizing things and I think that’s been a big cause of my procrastination and hold backs with things.

I’ve been realizing that I’ve got to take a more relaxed approach to things. Like getting a new job. I try to force it and get caught up in the having to apply for every job mentality. Then it ends up being draining and not something I want anyway. Like I was applying to any jobs at one point just to get a interview was a win, but I realized I don’t really want that. I’m pushing so hard and it’s not what I want. So I have to NSE myself in a way. What’s right for me and what direction am I naturally drawn to, what does life open up for me and find that stream and go with that.

I am now planning to drop new Love Bomb for this next cycle. I will replace it with the new Sanguine. I’ve wanted to give it a run and since I’m taking a 30 day washout after that, it could help give a big bloom on past titles I’ve run. Plus it’s own bloom I’m hoping will just take a layer of stress and pressure off and allow me to have a smooth 30 day washout.

#190

Day 14 No listening.

Some interesting energetic things happening. These go way back though. Like years. So I’m kind of anticipating the newest Alchemist. Alchemist and KB would be a very interesting journey.

I’ve got my plan laid out finally. I will stick to the original plan of finishing out the year on my current stack. Then next year I will start off with Revelation of Mind and Revelation of Spirit, continuing KB. Then after 6 cycles I’d like to move on to Alchemist. I think the newest version would be updated by then. Possible third slot candidate would be Primal Seduction. I would continue KB and Alchemist starting over from Stage 1.

Still having some what I’d call small coincidences, but I side on the idea that there are no coincidences, so they could be called manifestations or just being in the flow. On at least two occasions in the last two days I was thinking of something and one occasion immediately got a message right after related to the exact thing.

Then I was thinking something else in a particular size from a particular brand, I’d never seen such a size before, but got an email and the brand and size is on sale! I didn’t even have to go look myself, it just came to me. I dont’ really call them manifestations because I can’t say that I did it. It’s just that my wanting something and it showing up like that is more than coincidence. It’s happened so much in my life and I can’t yet differentiate from manifestation or intuition, I lean more towards just being lined up, in tune/harmony.

Oh, another thing that came to mind as far as these “coincidences” is I thought of this guy. He’s like not a local celeb but a business owner, you’d know him if you’re into tattoos. One time I delivered pizza to his place and i’d accidentally left my zipper open because I was in a rush and it was probably a busy day. So the next time I delivered to him and next time he saw me I caught him checking my zipper this time. Well I was just thinking about that incident for some reason, didn’t put any energy in it. It’s neutral kind of thing or funny if I really think of it. But that guy showed up in a local news article the next day. Then I occasionally see his profile pop up in my FB feed (I don’t follow him or anything related to his business). I never saw his profile at least not in years since that incident happened. We’re talking like 5 years or something. That kind of thing happens so often. I don’t call it law of attraction, people don’t believe that and I’m not sure I do either. It’s like I intend something and life has other plans. But then there’s this kind of thing where you think of something, it’s not important, you have no attachment and it appears in your reality.

Well, I think I’ve gotta go with Spartan Apex in my next cycle. I’ll switch out with new Love Bomb. I’ve been into some healing and I think Spartan Apex will swing the pendulum in the other direction. I just skimmed through the forum for it and yea, it seems like it’s just what I need after these 4 cycles of new LB in the mix. That could be just what I need actually. The self love work of new LB ( feeling kind of sad-ish sometimes) and then full steam ahead with the rock solid mindset and hit the gym mentality of Spartan Apex.

I got another workout in tonight. I think my mindset is back on track. The most challenging part will be getting back into the swing of things and taking it slow but steady. My body will probably be sore while I get used to the workload again.

#191

Day 15 1 minute of new Primal.

I’m kind of thinking Spartan Apex is the missing ingredient in my stack. It will support my work and fitness level. Mindset. I think alternated with new Love Bomb that’s just what I need in the mix. ’

I did have a plan of maybe making that a custom so I don’t have to alternate- Love Bomb/Spartan Apex custom. We’ll see how things unfold for me. With Spartan it might push me into more action so that could lead to me having more money to make that happen.

Had to go to a couple stores today. The first store I was walking in and these two younger guys saw me and one of them had the oh shit reaction, he got intimidated at the sight of me. I saw that right away and I was just relaxed not really paying attention to anyone in particular. Just making my way to what I needed.

I notice some slight attention from certain ladies but it’s not overt. I do notice I’m pulling back more and instead of just checking out women who notice me, I’ll just kind of ignore them and stay in my masculine. Generally what worked best for me is I guess the Wanted style of being chased. Just being myself and not even trying to get the women. I’ve had the problem where when I wanted a woman well, it probably wasn’t going to happen.

But I had plenty of interested women that I just wasn’t interested in. So I guess I’m still learning the balance of appearing not interested to the women I actually like, so that they’ll be into me without being chased off. Which kind of turns me off to dating anyway. So that’s why Heartsong is so attractive to me. I know that plenty of people don’t have to play games and they find a partner that is perfect for them.

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#192

Day 16 No Listening.

Woke up from a dream and all I remember was that it was most likely Primal material being worked on and brought to life in a dream. So even though I had to drop back to micro loops for the rest of the cycle things are still moving along.

So after some time with my current stack- it seems like I want to tweak things. I’m 100% switching Love Bomb for Spartan Apex. It hits my most immediate goals of diet/fitness. Although I’ve never considered myself a big competitive person, more of a flow person. So we’ll see how that works I don’t expect a major issue. Will be just nice to see what happens, how I respond.

I am really appreciating new Primal. But I’m still going back and forth on it. I’ve spent multiple cycles with it and can always come back. I don’t want to give up it up and thing it would pair especially good with Spartan Apex. But I still kind of think I could use some Heartsong finally. So there’s a possibility I could still go for Heartsong too. Maybe after 30 days off.

Just got in my workout. Been consistent for a week. I went back to what amounts to my warm-up and just stuck with it all week. But today my legs finally gave me the signal that they’re back online so I can increase the intensity a bit. I think I took like 3 weeks off and was really inconsistent when I tried to get back but now I think we’re on track again.

I’ll just chalk it up to recon but I’m having a tough time with wanting to try out Heartsong and drop new Primal. I think Primal would be great stacked with Chosen. I just wouldn’t have room in my stack. So I’ll give the next cycle a test with Primal alongside Spartan Apex and KB 4. I think Spartan will help things out and get my mindset right.

At the same time I want to get really clear on what I want. So I’d even consider Genesis for a couple cycles. I also plan on trying out Revelation of Spirit. So I’m not 100% attached to new Primal right now. But I think my best stack would be Primal and Chosen.

#193

Day 17 1 minute KB 4, 1 minute new LB.

I’m feeling pretty good so far. Got some of that optimism going on and feeling just good energetically. Physically I feel like I could use some more sleep. But yea, reminds me when I’m feeling good that new Primal should definitely get more time before I switch it out. I’d like to take it to the rest of the year if I can.

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#194

Day 19 1 minute 30 seconds of New Primal.

I’d say I’m still healing at times. So still some recon at times. Makes me want to just stick with the stack to get past all this healing. Most of the titles I’ve tried has been 4 cycles. A lot of times I ended up switching because something new and updated came out and I wanted to try that.

So it’s possible I’ll just ride out one more cycle before I take 30 days off.

End of night update:

I’ve been noticing lots of intimidation hits. Men who don’t want to hold eye contact and who look away really fast. So that’s what I’m noticing more than any attraction from the ladies at this time. I have noticed if I’m tired and feeling reconny some of the thoughts come up and their kind of disapproving of people. So it’s good that they’re coming up so I can see them in conscious awareness. It’s definitely a step up from the fear and anxiety I was in for so long.

I take that back I did see a woman walking shortly after I left my house. So I had to run to work for something. And I stopped at a store I don’t normally go to on the way home. I happened to see that lady again walking and she noticed me and there was maybe some slight chemistry. Neither one of us entertained it we just went on with our business. So maybe that’s how the attraction is coming off now as a bit intimidating for the women too. I’m still kind of more focused on my inner reality. I’m more interested in having my inner right.

#195

Day 20 No listening.

Haven’t been getting those intimidation hits today. More curiosity hits if anything. By hits I just mean how people react/perceive me. Women still mostly appear neutral. Although I had one again, older woman who noticed me when I walked in the store. And as we passed each other in the aisle she perked up to actually get a look at me as we walked past each other. Just got the woman thing where they notice you but they sort of keep to their own business, like a vibe check or something.

That reminds me I had another cougar hit yesterday. Most of the women this week are all cougars. I love cougars but never took action to approach. So at least I know which ones would be most open now. There’s women who don’t notice you and don’t pay attention and there are those who do. Nothing is a guarantee but I figure the chances are better if I were to approach the ones who take notice to me.

End of night update:

I’m kind of planning to finish out the next cycle with the same stack. But I might toss in Chosen: Way of Nature as a compromise. I won’t give up the Love side of things and I’ll add in some health and I think CWON will kind of work alongside Primal also. So I think that’s what I’m going to do. I feel like 4 cycles is good for a title and I still don’t feel like I have my perfect stack, but the perfect stack is probably always changing depending on our changing lives.

That and it’s not like starting a brand new title. I ran CWON before I switched it out for new LB.

#196

Day 21 1minute 30 seconds of KB 4, and new LB.

Last day of the cycle. It’s been challenging at times. I’ve had moments of clarity and relaxation a few times. Where my tensions just weren’t there and I had a quiet mind.

Been in some recon. Wanting to change titles. Wanting to really have my path figured out.

Now when I check in there’s some wanting to stay on my stack and change nothing. Another angle is that I feel I could give up new Primal for a few cycles while I focus on Spartan Apex. That would lighten things up a bit. I may even get some of the Primal bloom so a few cycles off wouldn’t be a big deal. Spartan would probably help me to get into more action and I think that would definitely be a plus. I feel like sticking with Love Bomb is most important. Love Bomb and KB4 are staying put.

Also I was noticing that what seems to hold me back as far as dating is the money. Money to have the lifestyle for it. But that could be a limiting belief keeping me from just taking action and really finding out where things go. The mind says one thing like oh you don’t have the money and lifestyle, yet I have no actual evidence without taking the action and seeing things play out for real.

I’m gonna chalk up this wanting to switch business as recon. To me it seems it’s the discomfort of moving from the unwanted to the wanted. The undesired to the desired. 4 cycles with new LB. 3 cycles with new Primal. 1st cycle with KB4.

So I’ll plan to stick it out another cycle. Would I have benefited more in the past from staying with titles longer than 4 cycles? I think so. More than anything I think it’s been shiny object syndrome that’s gotten me to switch. Instead of staying with it and getting through the grind, it looks more attractive to try the latest updates. I’m wishing I’d stayed on CWON at least one more cycle before switching over to the new LB but now I’m 4 cycles of new LB so best course is to stick with it.

I was out today and decided to look and people and be a little curious. I started to feel the love bomb within.

I had some insights from my being out and about today. I wasn’t feeling my best and I guess I’m just still dipping my toes into the people waters again. I feel optimistic and that I’m going to have plenty of growth but we’re just dusting off, oiling the bearings. Back on the new cycle on WEDNESDAY.

A lot of my resistance is from wanting the change now. I still also see how I need to have patience and just take it day by day. I’m not sure I would fare well having a job where I have co-workers just yet. I wouldn’t put up with their BS and I don’t want to play those games. So I’m grateful that I have my current situation in life. I have space to grow and I don’t have to put that pressure on myself to hurry up and change now.

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#197

I woke up from a few dreams where I’d say it’s new Primal at work. I don’t remember exactly what because it’s like you wake up and get a glimpse of your dream mind doing its thing, but you just see that your mind is playing out a dream but you’re awake enough to just get that glimpse and can’t remember the dream content. But it’s close enough that you remember what the theme was.

Oh I think one of the dreams was about me being attractive or something.

So far what I like most about Primal is that it’s doing some healing and unlocking more of my “real” self. It’s also not as attention grabbing like Chosen, at least not yet. On Chosen I started getting all this attention and it was uncomfortable because I didn’t feel like the inner was changing as fast. I still miss the caliber of woman who I was seeing and who were attracted/interested in me. I think that was the status in Chosen, royalty stuff. So I’m kind of patiently waiting for whatever Primal’s version of that is to come on.

With Primal it almost seems more slow burn in that it seems to be doing more inner work and so any outer changes are at a comfortable pace that doesn’t blow me out of the water. So that’s why I have the Chosen and Primal combo in my notes for a future stack, although by then it might have to be Chosen Primal Seduction.

I do think, based on my experience that maybe it’s the NSE but new Primal seems to work with my unconscious makeup. Say like I was experiencing people being intimidated by me, I noticed in myself my own anger or dislike of people coming up in the unconscious. So that in itself gives me more confidence that it really is just get the inner right and the outer will follow.

The workout has been slow going. But I’m making steady progress. Slow and steady and in a few months I’ll be back at full capacity. I may incorporate some walking and just light activity aside from working out to just keep myself active and build the habit.

Also being aware of myself and any shifts is really helpful. It keeps me from jumping ahead to say, SSX again. So once again I’m planning to finish out the year on my current stack.

#198

Dream life has kicked up again at least from the bits and pieces I remember. I would say definitely Primal themes going on. Before my dreams were kind of simple situations. Last night it was like adventure and lots of new people, even some famous people.

still noticing my own aversions to people in general coming up when I’m out and about. Still better than anxiety/fear. After being on the receiving end of people’s judgements and ridicule at work for so long it’s only natural that I’d have some dislike of people, kind of a protection mechanism. I goal to transcend it and move past the nonsense but it’s progress in my book.

I’ve been keeping up with my workouts again. Just the very basics. Kind of building back from the ground up. Maybe that’s the LB influence. The focus is more on longevity so it’s more I guess conditioning and joint mobility at the moment. I’ve even kind of been kind of drawn towards doing cardio, something I’ve never been big on in the past. So my workouts seem to be moving more in a healthy longevity focused type of mentality rather than the just get strong and explosive as possible mentality that I used to have.

#199

I was just skimming the new Primal copy again and now it kind of makes sense. It makes sense as to why I might be getting what I call intimidation hits, where people look away and they may see me as somebody I dunno with more power and dominance or something. LBFH might be good to lighten things up but I’m sticking with regular Love Bomb.

“PRIMAL helps equip you to navigate social dynamics with charismatic confidence and external dominance. Embrace a life of unbridled power and attraction, where every encounter and challenge is an opportunity to demonstrate your inherent strength and allure. Step into your role as the architect of your destiny with PRIMAL, where every moment is a testament to your irresistible presence.”

So I have that box checked. I am still looking forward to more of the charismatic confidence to come through, with that I’d expect the allure and attraction to come right along with that.

Also I’ve been one of the quite types all my life, well that I remember. And I know that some people will let their imaginations run wild with that. They don’t actually know you but they’ll come up with a story. And my demeanor is not one of somebody who’s cold. It’s just that people who don’t need to say much can trigger some fears and insecurities I’d say. But I’m definitely happy that Primal will help me to navigate the social dynamics much better in due time. Plus I’ve always like to have fun and used to be when I’d say something I’d make people laugh.

#200

I went to go pick up some food for myself. There was one woman ordering ahead of me. I called in my order so it was ready. So I was patiently waiting for a minute or two. I was completely ignoring the woman ordering. She was almost defensive vibe, she was by herself, an unknown man walks in. But I just ignored her and she got more relaxed in her body language and seemed to get curious about me. She was looking at me but I never met her gaze. Then I realized I may not have to wait. I spoke up and asked if I could just grab my order since it was behind the counter but it was only a step or two. They said yea and actually stopped and came over to give it to me.

I’ve been kind of mulling over this idea that women only want men who don’t want them. I’m not sure I like that initially. But Primal is helping me to experiment with that more. Unfortunately, or not, it does seem to be really effective. I also realized that maybe I can get away with outwardly showing zero interest and remaining masculine while at the same time I can have fun and if that’s what I have to do to get the women I like, I might be able to work with that.

Now a while later I can see some more of the intricacies in the situation when I went to get my food. Just have a clearer picture. So social stuff is definitely upping my game at least on the understanding level. I’m looking forward to surprising myself when I start interacting with people just because it’s natural to me.

Went to pick up some refreshments earlier and take a drive. I can definitely see how things are getting better for me now. I got to the register and just two guys were working. One of them I’d seen before and no probs. Seems like a chill guy. The other guy must have picked up on my aversion, still have a habit of being on edge around people sometimes. But I was relaxed. Anyway he finally spun around to face me and he was kind of toughening up to do it. But rather than be offended or respond in kind I realized I’m not here to out alpha anybody, and I actually kind of lightened up. I was definitely feeling that sense of power, strength, I’d say masculinity. That was definitely coming on today. Also saw an alright looking woman after I left.

Like my Primal was on and I knew I could have sealed the deal, but even if not it wouldn’t have mattered. I just felt like yea it’s really clicking the seduction stuff. I’d also seen another way better looking woman but she was super closed off so I didn’t pay her any attention.

Then she came out pretty quickly and I was still sitting in my care about to leave and she was checking me out. When she first walked in to the place she wouldn’t even look at me. So the ignore game was at work again. I could tell she was just closed off vibe and probably used to all the guys checking her out. So I wasn’t even interested and kept on doing my own thing.

Oh and I notice I am getting more attention now just when I’m out and about. People got their eyes on me but I’m really getting grounded in not even being bothered by it. I just keep on with what I’m doing. When new Chosen comes out that would be the only potential stack breaker for me, I still think new Primal and Chosen would be very interesting.

I’d say this is one of the most fruitful 5 day breaks I’ve had.