ABC333 Khan Black

[ABC333]

Day 14: no listening.

Before bed is was scrilling one of my social media feeds. Somebody was raving about this mineral supplement. Its from grass fed whey. So I look at the ingredients and it has 1000mg potassium. Which is 20% of your daily potassium, among other minerals in one scoop. They said they feel so good after taking it.

So for me I think it was safe to get 20% potassium daily just the form wasnt so great. 1 teaspoon of cream of tartar may give the laxative effect.

Have to split that up i to 1/4 tsp doses split up.

Still slightly in my feels but feeling more like it’s just temporary and part of the growth. This stuff still seems to be around the dating relationships theme. Probably the love modules and love without attachment still going deep.

I also see a few woman I really liked on social media. I could just tell they were gonna get with the wrong men. Now they’re both complaining about cheaters and liars, lol. So it’s still tracking that generally speaking, women are gonna go for the liars and cheaters.

So even if you’re not a liar or cheater you want to add more of that i to your personality if you want to get more woman. Simply playing the numbers game. I also do think sub club titles are great for improving your vibe to where you have the right vibe and you can still be more you.

I’m still holding on to the idea that live without attachment is the ticket. Like how they say when you don’t care, you get everything you want. Just kind of tricky to find that sweet spot.

I decided to do the knees over toes program last night. Tibs, calves then my regressed two legged versions of the single leg exercises. For the step downs i chose basically quarter squats. I did 11 back the left leg hamstring tendon wasnt happy. Had to stop. Then I did my two legged ball sitting flex range kind of rock backs. Hit 50 slow reps.

Today I’m going to add the glute bridges in after my FT sets.

So I think I got a good self entertaining vetting question to ask women. Have you ever been cheated on, or have you ever dated a liar or cheater? If she has I’ll just tell her it probably isn’t going to work with me. Because you have a track record, that’s what you respond to, even if you say you’ve changed and you don’t like it. I’m not a liar or cheater. You’re probably going to maybe cheat on me, or dump me, or get bored and cause unnecessary, at least to me, drama. And so for me I’m not interested in any of that. So I’m going to have to pass.

I decided to experiment with laying on the solid ground floor after workouts for time. On the days I don’t do the self traction unit. I heard someone say that it’s good to lay and sit on the floor. You might even get cracks in your back just laying on the floor. Well, I didn’t get cracks. After about three minutes I got TRE shakes in my legs for the rest of the 5 minutes. So it’ll be something I’ll continue doing. At the very least it seems to be helping release any physical tensions.

I sent this vid to the guy I was talking to. A bit complainy kind of guy. Well I sent him a video of this chick who got mentored by a millionaire. She talks about intuition and how it’s more important to build that self awareness to be able to listen to it. Rather than rely on the logical mind, since she claims that our logical minds are programmed to fail. It sounds to me like she’s describing that driven type behavior. Like I should do this or that and being busy, rather than doing the thing that is actually going to be most beneficial.

Anyway, come to find out that I found out that some people just like complaining. Of course most people may not agree with our worldviews. No matter what it is someone hears it from their perspective, so they’ll find an argument immediately. So I got to remember that. And remembered that yea, people like where they’re at even if they complain that they don’t. Then I came up this thing that went, the people who actually do their inner work tend to lose their friends. It’s actually pretty common from my experience and hearing others talk about it. Also that the doers are doing, and the non-doers are just talking shit. But it’s kind of like, everybody’s still doing what they love in a way. So it just keeps me on track because yea, what do I want? That’s what I can do something about. Not changing everyone else.

End of night:

First half of work was fine. I was just listening to my audiobook. Still hearing new things after 13 listens. I noticed last week that my mind would not consciously listen to things I’d already heard, and would bring me back to consciously listening to the parts I hadn’t really heard yet.

So I was hearing some new things and then I started thinking. The gears started turning, and I felt like I was getting insight. Then I realized that too, could possibly become an addiction. So I kind of dropped it. And then I wasn’t so much in the flow, but things went well anyway. Like I was more hoping to get done early but it’s not a big deal. I gotta work again tomorrow and that’s my longest day. So I still have moments of just being present without the static. But I did feel like any bout of recon had been handled. Until the next one, lol.

Feeling back to normal at work. I just don’t push it at work and can still move at the pace I need to.

I’m thinking as the weeks go on my workouts are going to be a lot tougher. My arms are looking bigger already, but I’m more excited that they’re toning up and I’m getting more of that definition in my muscles.

Between FT and progressing the pushups and pullups following the Convict Conditioning Programs, in 6 weeks that’s gonna be wild. I’m guessing I’ll be in as good of shape as I’ve ever been. Probably will be looking my best as well. But I think after 6 weeks I will definitely cut back the FT again. I’m hoping by then I’ll also be doing the full knees over toes basic exercises without regressions. Just could be really tough in about a month. If anything I’d slow down on the pushups and pullups to finish out the FT program.

[ABC333]

Day 15: 30 seconds Paragon, 5 mins LBFH/DRLD custom.

Since before bed last night, I’m in the feels about the ex again. lol. This am I’m once again thinking that a cycle with Phoenix is in order. I’m trying to power through with LBFH/DRLD custom. Because DRLD people report a sense of power, while Phoenix may have me soaking wet at times, but it’s worth it. I’ve already been on the custom for 3 cycles, I’ve never done Phoenix, so there’s that unknown factor. Could it be just what I need?

I think I will still aim to power through for 4 cycles of the custom. Then 1 cycle of Phoenix rebirth. Then back to Survival Instinct/Spartan, when my workouts will be most challenging.

Although if i look at it that way, I’d want to skip Phoenix and go straight to SI/Spartan custom. So, perhaps a 3 title stack with Phoenix. I might really want that boost of the updated Spartan store title during my Phoenix cycle. Phoenix, I’m anticipating to be challenging so I plan on only 30 seconds of it every other listening day.

I just saw a guy interview the solidcore lady in the street. She said she had haters but she doesn’t.care what other people think because those doing all that talking are the ones sitting on the sidelines. She also said her number one book that she reads every few months is How to Win Friends and Influence People. She sold her shares for $90 million, her shares of SolidCore.

The 5 mins of LBFH/DRLD custom seems to have pulled me back out of the rut again. Song of Joying it now.

I just got out of the shower and am really impressed with how my body is developing. I can’t wait for summer time. I wasn’t expecting much since I’m basically rebuilding my body from the ground up. The focus isn’t aesthetics but the wall pushups and standing pulls are really developing my upper body. I guess high reps was just what my body needed.

Evening update:

Work was okay. No worries about my knees or back. The last hour was a little bit of a grind. I attribute that to staying up really late again last night.

I know there’ll be a few grinding work days ahead once my workout volume increases. But it’ll make my work easier once I get through it. Overall a pretty good day, nothing much on my mind. It’s all just flowing like the clouds in the sky. Nothing really sticky.

End of night:

I was so tired after work, planned on going to bed early. But I did do my knees and pushups and pulls today. Everything felt good. I might just take things slow with the pushes and pulls. My pulls feel ready to add another set, but FT training is my priority starting tomorrow.

It’s also a form of mental training. With the pushes and pulls I need to remain mindful, present as I remember to count my reps. Counting to 50 and forgetting where you’re at a long the way, well it’s not ideal.

No knee pains at all today with any of my exercises. I hit all my reps there. My calves only needed one workout to bounce back to my old numbers. I think I’m not going to add weights either yet. FT week three is so tough, at least every other time I’ve gotten there. It requires mental toughness for sure. Take things slow but stay consistent is the name of the game for me.

Also I’m ending the night focused on my goals, not anything do with other people. I like that. I claim to not like drama yet, I’ve gotten caught up in it. My recon usually is about old situations with people, lol.

[ABC333]

Day 16: No listening.

I was going through my insta feed, looking at videos. Then I saw one of the fit chicks posting a pic of the cardio machines at the gym. It just got my juices going, like I just love working out. But rather than get up and do my walk, I just scrolled some more. Watched a vid for a couple minutes, and then started to scroll and said nope. And I got into action. Got up put my sweats and shoes on. Make this quick post and am gonna do my walk now.

So I think that’s one of those tricks. You feel the urge to do something, workout, whatever, so you just get up right then and get moving. For me it would be more busyholism, like workaholism. Just getting overwhelmed, thinking it’s everything or nothing. But after years of that, that’s just a limit and a blocker. The trick like they say is do the things now on your list. Most important at the top and work your way way down. Who cares if you don’t do the whole list, those most important things got done. For me it’s working out and taking care of my body since it’s a day off.

I’m almost jogging now. Just feels good man. Here’s how my 30 minute first walk of the day goes. I walk backwards for 10 minutes. I then walk laterally for ten minutes. I have a nice little area where I can get some steps in and then I gotta turn around and walk the other way. Then I walk normally for 10 minutes. It gets blood flow into the knees. Then I work those muscles of the inner and outer thighs. Then just normal walk. That also keeps it from getting boring.

I tried to talk to the family person who I’ve had hassles with in the past. Of course I wish she’d read How to Win Friends and Influence People. It seems like that would have helped me get along with people better in the world. I just tried to talk to her, small talk. And I guess she wasn’t in the mood to talk and turns back on her book with a kind of angry look on her face. ahahaha.

But I wasn’t upset, it was like, damn, maybe focusing on my goals really is the best thing. I mean I do like people, but there’s a lot of that around. People are in their own worlds anyway. I think that’s where the problem of me existing came about.

Like when kids are just kids but maybe the adults have their own stresses and worries and they don’t know how to deal with that besides take it out on the kids or tell them to be quiet and all that. Like other times just being me and minding my own business, say when I’ve had to work around people, not interact. Yet, they’d come off as they had a problem with me just existing.

Like, damn. I think a true educational system would be a lot different. We’d be required to read How To Win Friends And Influence people. Harmony would be high on priorities instead of the this group and that group and everybody against everybody kind of royal rumble it can seem like.

Either way I got laundry in. Gotta finish my workout and do some cleaning. Reading, relaxing, etc. So I’ve definitely got things to do anyway. lol.

Also a reminder, that even though I wasn’t talking about myself I gotta be better at talking what other people are interested in. So that might mean asking questions, but when someone is in their own world they may not want any interaction.

Oh I remember, I said no mail or paper today. Because it’s a holiday. The person said there won’t be any mail today because it’s a holiday. But they said it with certainty, and so it comes off as making me wrong. When the How to win friends way, might be to just agree with the statement. But if they’re cranky I guess it doesn’t matter, lol. That’s how it goes though, they’re more than happy to make me seem wrong even if they agree. But if I would speak that then I’m really wrong, ahahaha.

That’s also covered in the book. I gotta master it though. Haven’t had the insights yet. It’s that it was like a boss or something, and instead of using absolutes, you use softeners. The examples are old fashioned but instead of like saying certainly, absolutely, coming off as it is this way and that’s all there is too it. It’s more like approaching with the well I could be wrong, or it appears to me, at least in the moment, that…

Maybe there is no better way to communicate with some people though. It’s more about my own emotional mastery. Understanding that even though people are absolutely certain and everyone else is wrong, I can still get what I want and somehow get them happy to oblige. I think some of it really more applies to business interactions, rather than social interaction. It still seems that some people we just gotta minimize our time and interaction with. Rather than win people over who tend to drain us, we just refocus on our goals and priorities. We can still be personable with them but just keep it to a minimum because there’s no real benefit to us continuing to leak our energy by interacting with certain people.

Evening Updates:

Now I’m seriously mulling over changing my custom for Primal. I’ll keep Paragon all year, of course. Since things are going really well as far as bringing my body back into tippy top shape, I’m hearing the call to return to Primal.

For a summer stack, to me, one of the most appropriate titles would be some social/status title. Since I’m much more likely to be around more people in the summer. I would feel much more confident with a title such as Primal in the mix. It also doubles as potential seduction title, which tends to be also call to me at times.

Primal is said to have carry over to areas such as business. Die to the attributes it helps one develop and bring about. So I just might get back to Primal for the summer.

There’s this woman I used to be really into. Since she got a man and posted him on her socials. I lost my attraction for her. Every time I see her I’m just struck by how obvious it is to me, that all that magic and attraction that seemed to be there wasn’t her, it was me.

I’ll do one more cycle of LBFH/DRLD custom to make it 4 cycles. Then I’m going to ride out the whole summer on Primal. I think it’ll be great since I’m on this How To Win Friends and Influence People kick. Plus seduction, plus inner game. plus plus plus.

I gotta put the FT beginner official start at next week. I’m not quite there to 3 sets. I’m focusing on rep quality rather than trying to rush through the program as written. That’s the mistake I’ve made in the past. If if takes me 12 weeks to make it through, I’m okay with that.

Some of these programs, not everybody can do the beginner workout right off the bat. This program the beginner series calls for 3 sets. Well 2 sets is challenging to me yet. So I’m gonna give it one more week to see if officially reach beginner status next week.

Assertiveness, to me, seems like it’s a bit of a shield. That I’m not trying to be mean or overbearing. But I’m going to stay strong in myself. That I’m not going to be getting my feelings hurt or made to feel less than. In the past I’d just bounce back and going on trying to stay that nice, loving kind of vibe. I can go back to that with the right people or when I’m alone, but if I have to be assertive just due to other people’s nature, that’s cool too.

End of night:

I gotta say this time with LBFH/DRLD seems so long. With pretty much all of my other titles the cycles seemed to go by so fast. At least from what I remember. The first cycle or two went fast as usual, but this third one seems really long.

I’m almost wondering if I should just switch gears for a month with any other title.

I’m thinking a cycle of the new Genesis: The Art of Happiness and Joy just might be in order.

When that new Genesis Happiness and Joy title came out, I was like that’s great. I just thought I’d never have a use for it with LBFH and Love Bomb. But it seems like the perfect title for a one cycle “vacation.”

[ABC333]

Day 17: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD, 15 mins Paragon.

I’m curious to find out if my LBFH/DRLD custom loops will still be a mood booster as I finish out the cycle.

Ending this cycle feeling like things are a bit of a grind.

I guess I could also chalk that up to staying up later a few times a week.

Just getting more contrast at times, I suppose.

I do enjoy when the laughter type scripting kicks in. I find myself laughing out loud at funny stuff, at least a few times a day.

Genesis the art of happiness title will be lighter than my custom. But I’ll still get all my favorite parts.

I’m definitely still on that track of switching out the custom for one cycle before I restart the Primal path.

I got a 15 day sample of this joint supplement that comes with a cream too. The cream is just menthol, but it also has creatine in it, lol. My knees were a little sore today so instead of just letting it be, I put some cream on. I think it helps, I mean that’s what it’s for. I haven’t found a joint supplement that I feel makes a difference yet. So I might try this for 2 months, that’s what I like to give a supplement before I decide if it’s worth it or not. I also have gone a few days without my knee supports. I wear the straps to work but that’s about it lately.

Okay, so that blows me mind. This joint supplement is some special creatine. kre-celazine. It says it’s kre-alkalyn creatine bonded with fatty acids, and that’s all it is! Maybe I won’t buy it. I take 10 g regular old creatine already and krill oil, they’re just not bonded together.

I woke up early today because I had to keep an appointment. Now I’m having a low energy day. But overall I think LBFH/DRLD custom helps smooth things out. I’m still at 5 mins listening time and will finish out the cycle at 5 mins. I’ve had satisfactory results at this listening time. I started at 30 seconds for a cycle. Then I went to 3, now I’m at 5. Had results from all 3 listening times.

Feeling a little anxious, fear. Side effect of lacking sleep. Thinking about the Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom again. I saw some old not foes, but I’d put them in that category. I’m not the guy to talk about people or try and start trouble. These are some of those types who’ve seen me as the problem. Never said a thing to them or about them. But luckily they are not in my physical life anymore. Just the types I keep away from because there’s no place for them in my life.

I think Genesis The Art of Happiness will be really good for me. I’m looking forward to trying out that new title. It will just build on whatever growth has come about from LBFH/DRLD custom.

Then Primal will have me nice and grounded and not worried about rejection.

Did the knee workout and got really locked in. I like that. I’d like to carry that over to all areas of my life. The ability to be free from distractions in all situations. That’s in Aegis: Survival Instinct. I guess it’s possible I can call upon those attributes as I need them, being that I spent 12 cycles with that custom. Though, over a year ago.

End of night:

I have some more energy this evening. So maybe my body finally got the increased energy from my working out. I even forgot to take my small caffeine booster this evening.

I’m thinking I might just skip over Genesis The Art of Happiness and Joy, and go straight into Primal, next cycle.

If I really wanted to add something I could add in that third title at some point.

I’m feeling maybe a testosterone boost or something, lol. So I’m feeling ready for the masculinity aspect to be turned up again. Also feeling good at times, so I’d like to balance that feeling good and happiness with Primal. I like feeling good but in the past it doesn’t always come off as something people respect or even like, sadly. But I’m usually in hermit mode anyway.

I think I can say I’m really over whatever recon I was in. That first round was maybe just cognitive dissonance. Then tonight when some anxiety and old fear came up. It pretty much washed right through. I did my workout and I think that’s a big help, having a physical exercise regimen. The spiritual and/or awakened types, now they make a difference there. Anyway not to get off on a tangent, they say that a physical exercise routine will help keep you grounded in physical reality. You won’t get so carried away in the sort of ether or those lost in the cloud type spaces.

Now I’m feeling ready for another cycle with LBFH/DRLD custom. I feel good. But not overly joyous or elated. I’d say this is what I think normal should feel like. Sort of smooth sailing. I’m hoping this is a new baseline because I like it. No wanting or needing anything, yet doing what I need to do.

I had everything done and so I had like 2 hours before work. Time seemed to slow down but I realized that wasn’t even a problem. It’s nice to have things done and then time for nothing. When in the past it’s been putting things off and then not having enough time to do them. And no time for just relaxing because I knew I had things I wanted to get done.

Okay, now that I’m home and settling… I seem to have some desire for a friend or friends to just share with. Not necessarily a woman, but hey if I meet the right woman that’d be cool with me.

I did possibly have some sexual chemistry with this cashier lady. She’s new and I’ve only seen her once. It’s so cold that I wear my visor trapper hat. It takes away from eye contact but it’s not my priority when it’s cold anyway. But the first time I saw her I didn’t really see her, I just liked her vibes. Like a submissive good woman. Tonight she was working and I thought about small talking but I didn’t. I stopped myself from being my old nice guy self. Just kept it shut. Anyway she was grabbing something for me and she dropped it and a memory flashed in my mind. This woman I used to work with who was hot and we were both into each other. But she was married, one of those military marriages and being chivalrous I wasn’t going to mess with anyone’s woman. She left the state soon after because her husband was deploying. They got divorced not too long after. She came back to the job in a different department and acted like she didn’t know me for awhile. So it never happened.

Anyway, this woman dropped something. And it reminded me of that old situation where we knew we both liked each other and we were passing, she was on a different shift. She was coming and I was leaving and she got all droppy. Like dropping things and stuff, lol. So it reminded me of that. But I think this woman might be slightly older, and she’s like a local you might think conservative woman or something. Like not a typical hot chick but there’s still possibly some mutual chemistry. I just think it’s kinda funny. Not my normal type but vibe wise it’s like yea, I would be lots of fun.

To me that was kind of a Primal moment, the new situation. It was like oh yea, I’ve been here before. Then I just got relaxed and grounded instead of excited in anticipation. lol.

[ABC333]

Day 18: No listening.

I’m still back to really liking the LBFH/DRLD custom. I got one more cycle in me until it’s time to switch gears again.

I was looking in the mirror before work yesterday. I’m looking more muscular. I just have the body type that puts on mass easily. I was getting excited that I was gonna trim down and get this more dense muscle look. So I’m looking more spartan than a swimmer. I would still choose Spartan Apex over Legacy of Spartan if I went that route.

I think last night I did break free to experiencing more of my authentic self, some of that Dragon Reborn Limit Destroyer action.

Reading through the DRLD description now has me appreciating the LBFH/DRLD custom and even feeling good that I could take it to 6 cycles. I guess maybe I won’t plan so far ahead, when I say I’m with this title for the rest of the year that kind of kicks in grind mode at times. But when I consider how I’ve grown and progressed, and the challenges to overcome, staying with it just makes sense too.

I will test out 7 minutes next listen of LBFH/DRLD custom. I feel like I’ve reached a new plateau, not as in stuck, just a literal new plateau, a place to stand on. A new, higher view.

Yea, now I have some of that wishing I had friends coming up again. It’s better than hard timing over the ex though. I’m now kind of transmuting it into fuel to get into action if anything. Like workout is the first thing I wanna do instead of sit here in the feelings, I want to put it in action to something that helps me move forward with my goals, big or small.

Maybe finally unlocked that transmutation aspect in DRLD.

Lol yea kind of more stuff coming up of me wanting friends. I got a half hour to workout yet so I’m gonna have to do some letting go practice in the meantime. I don’t want to add anymore titles right now, but now considering sneaking in just a drop of Inner Circle.

2 scoops of pre-workout day. I was up late again. Had some gut cleansing effects. From my black walnut wormood tincture and possibly switching back to keto. Pizza on Friday, then I had my normal carb Sunday, and Monday I didn’t know it but I had some meatballs that had a high carb content which probably kept me from keto. So today possible keto flu or just really tired again. That’s one thing that keeps me on keto, I can handle one carb day a week but if I do more my body has to kind of restart over getting back to ketosis. I’ve been thinking about trying a carb breakfast in summer time. I like the idea of a more normal diet in summer and keto for winter.

Evening Update:

Just don’t have the drive today. So I did my 30 minute walk. I’ll do the FT session after dinner and then forearms for the elbow benefits. Then I gotta do the Personal Traction Unit before bed. Kinda have a headache yet. Definitely an off day, I don’t attribute it to recon though. More just a physical recovery day.

Okay so it’s called Personal Traction Assistant. I found the new version, which is standing. I picked up the original kneeling version from local fb marketplace. Was a great deal and now I think it just feels good to stretch out the back and help the nerves and even energy flow. Stamina InLine Traction Control System, if you want to look it up to see what it is. That’s the new standing version which I’ve never tried.

I was also considering that maybe I could change out Paragon after 6 cycles if I really wanted to go for Survival Instinct or Spartan Apex. I plan to run Paragon for a full 12 cycles but now, that seems so long. I think I’ve gotten over the hump with my physical build back plan. I’ve built up enough momentum that I might benefit more from SI or Spartan as the mindset switches from just getting back to normal and pain free, to upping my intensity with my workouts.

I’ve also got a huge appetite today.

End of Night:

Again, I’m thinking next cycle I’ll switch out Paragon for Spartan Apex store title. I just want to experience some of those mental benefits. I’ve been putting that title off since it came out. I have it in my previous custom, it’s just not the updated core yet.

I think it will continue some of the work of Paragon, but more focused on the fitness goals plus the mental boost. I’m just feeling it’s time to shake things up a little. It’ll also be more of that kind of masculine or at least warrior vibe, which I’m looking forward to trying on.

Also Spartan has scripting for strengthening those joints and ligaments which is one of my priorities. I definitely want to improve my walking gait and just get better movement again.

Walked for an hour today since it’s a day off. I wanted to keep my step count the same as my longest work days. Especially since that’s my only cardio besides working for now. I want to be able to walk stairs and hike this summer. I like to be in the outdoors and the terrain is of course not always smooth and you gotta be good with all the variables.

I completed the full 3 rounds of FT beginner sequence. I could still see myself taking 3 weeks per stage instead of the 2. It’s definitely a workout, feels good to break a sweat and be breathing heavy. I also took yesterday off from pushups and pulls. My intercostals, rib muscles were sore. I think it was the broom twists. I found out one of the old school body builders did a bit of a stomach vacuum during them. So I tried that 100 broom twists followed immediately by 100 side bends. I might cut the pushups and pulls to 2 days until I complete the FT program. I will probably appreciate the rest.

[ABC333]

Day 19: 30 seconds Paragon. 7 minutes LBFH/DRLD custom.

Still seem to be a lot more clear. A bit of a good mood. I feel like I unlocked more of my custom finally. Definitely keeping it awhile longer.

I’m still set on Spartan Apex store title for next cycle and stopping Paragon. I just feel like heading into spring and summer Spartan is the winner since I won’t be doing Primal for awhile. More of the masculine/alpha/warrior type vibe and mental benefits that will go beyond just working out. Some have even reported getting in touch with that sense of adventure.

I think a lot of those qualities have been brewing already and that was why I was looking at Primal again. Spartan is just more in line with my personal goals for the spring/summer. I’ll need that increased will power as my workouts get more challenging and I’ll still be getting everything else done.

I do have past evidence that my body can heal. When I was 8th grade I had a knee surgery. No ligament damage. It was reconstructive. I bought this jump higher program from a magazine ad.

Come to find out years later that many others also had knee damage from that program. It was high rep plyometrics, one of the few resources I had available to me for any kind of athletic training. I wish I had known better. The reps should have been way lower. I also should have built my base with squats and lunges instead of favoring the leg press machine. I should have been jumping rope and doing more sprints besides just sports practice.

But I remember the doctor being impressed with how quickly I regained mobility. I didn’t even do the physical therapy either. As I’ve gotten older and occasionally deal with back pain and knee pain, even elbows. I took on the mindset that since I’m older I need to just go for it as far as physical rehab. Now as much as I wanna be doing kettlebells and explosive stuff, I know building that base is the most important thing. I gotta be injury and pain free just for daily life!

I seem to be getting a hold on this “recon” that comes up. The stuff where oh I wish I had friends. But it seems to be my procrastination. My history of friends isn’t that we were working on goals or making progress. It was more we were just, now that I’m older I see it as just wasting time. Nothing wrong with that. It’s just that now as I sit down about to workout and instead of just getting to it, the oh I wish I had friends come up. Well if I had friends I probably wouldn’t be working out or being productive. So to me it seems to be a distraction program.

I have eye of the storm, foundation, and the merger of worlds modules in my lbfh/drld custom. I think that’s letting me see this habit and then it helps me transmute it with action from DRLD.

Also solitude module works in there to get me back on track without friends. Come to think of it, this is probably a recon/healing from Solitude Module as well.

Evening Updates:

When I woke up this morning I had some insight into my people dealings. I don’t remember details. As as the ladies go, I can see that I had too much nice guy nonsense when I actually did talk to the women I liked. So I was doing all the wrong things.

One of the big things was getting attached and being a pursuer. When the hot chicks liked me, I wasn’t actually talking to them or trying to get them to like me. I wasn’t trying to get something from them, because I didn’t want them. I tended to have my eyes on one woman. Now though I won’t waste my time and I certainly learned from it now.

I didn’t have to be a dick. But generally that would have been the simplest solution. Just be a dick with the ones you like. But it’s not even that. I’m just understanding the dynamics better. It was never about being a pick up artist either.

My knees are probably a month out from where I’d like to be. Not a big deal. Just stay consistent and time will pass. Don’t need to overdo anything. I just now realized my elbows have been pretty good too, so just keep doing what I’m doing there. Back is great. Started to do some back bend progressions. Just all standing and am going really slow with that. Progress, nonetheless.

I read through DRLD description again. It’s really a deeper and more profound title than I was assuming. As in the last few days I’m really getting a taste of the negative energy transmutation along with the emotional healing.

I just had some anger come up, but I have self awareness. More consciousness and self awareness and some of the more intense stuff has come up as of late. Nothing major. But anyway, I had some anger come up. So I started walking and then went into my mobility routine and at some point it was just gone. Back to feeling that clarity that I so enjoy and appreciate.

End of Night:

I had one of those moments where I wasn’t thinking about I just did it- after the fact I realized wait I was being a leader. Not of men. Of the woman. One of those situations where I think it sounds like I don’t know about that, that doesn’t sound like it would work.

Say you heard a guy say if you order for a woman at a restaurant, women like that. You know, when you take charge and just have the place and time for the date. It’s not like what you think kind of things. And when it came out for me I just took care of business in the moment and realized that’s exactly what I did.

Also got to work and my mind was silent. I really like that. It wasn’t even the wondering what I forgot or lost kind of things. It’s like you can just choose not to think. So I was just present, just kind of zen doing what I was doing. Then I started listening to my book and of course started thinking again. A few memories came to mind of where I actually did apply the principles from this book.

And I had only read it one time. So it’s just cool to see how you pick things up and your mind can be your ally. You don’t always have to plan things out, if you’re in the flow or just fully present things take care of themselves. Yet I’ve also been listening to this podcast where the guy says you need to have it all planned out, what you’re gonna say, how you’re gonna say it etc.

I don’t know how but I think I more apply that to learning something and then the best moments aren’t planned it just comes out that way. But that’s also the value in planning at least when you’re learning and understanding things. Then you can just be natural in the moment. I think true connection isn’t actually planned and it’s being fully in the moment.

[ABC333]

Day 20: No listening.

Kind of stepping into the unknown by switching to Spartan Apex next cycle. I plan to do 30 seconds.

I guess it’s just the stepping into slightly new territory. I’ve done Spartan Apex in a custom for 12 cycles. This will be my first run with the updated store title.

I’ll only run it for 30 seconds the first cycle. Since I don’t plan on taking an extended washout between titles.

Last night at work I noticed I was willing to hit more of the details. Where near the end I’d just want to get finished up. But if I saw any of those details that I would have previously skipped over I just took care of them. I’m still not pushing it at work but I don’t really need to either.

Afternoons:

I’m still surprised by how good of a workout I can get with wall pushups and standing bodyweight pulls.

My muscles are a bit sore today- from last night’s after work session. I decided to do the intermediate standard for the first time. It’s 25 reps for 2 sets on both exercises. I just did it circuit style no rest. The pace is so slow and that’s what is really working the muscles, and stabilizers, and tendons. I am looking forward to getting back to normal pushups without shoulder pain. So I think this is definitely a good way to build back to that. And I still get a great workout and muscle development.

I was previously just doing 1 set of 50 on each exercises, but decided hey I’ll do this program by the book because I don’t want to short myself. The advanced workout standard is 50 reps for 3 sets, and yea it might take me some time to get there. So it also builds some mental fortitude and mindfulness.

Spartan is going to be the right elixir on this next leg of my fitness journey for sure.

End of Night:

I guess I have a little fear of success, perhaps- coming up around switching over to Spartan Apex. Doing 6 cycles of Paragon simply for the sake of doing 6 cycles doesn’t move me. I’m just feeling that feeling when you face the unknown, even if it’s something you want. It’s that feeling of moving out of my comfort zone.

Seems that any remaining procrastination, knows that it’s on the chopping block. Since I’m going to switch over from Paragon to Spartan Apex.

My calves are sore but it actually feels good today. Not overly sore just enough to know that we’re making progress, and staying consistent but not overdoing it.

Spartan Apex thread hasn’t had much action since the initial spurt. Another title I’m on my own with. As in the past, maybe it’s a good thing. I only have my own experience to rely on.

[ABC333]

Day 21: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD custom. 15 mins Paragon.

Foundation and Eye of the Storm modules are still working with the wanting friends that comes up. It just came up. It was greatly diminished. As soon as it came up I got up and am going to begin my 30 minute walk. So it’s being turned into a good habit.

Haha! I just had my first random Spartan sync. I just checked my facebook. I noticed new faces in the people you may know section. I saw one that was a random with the name like Spartan O Negative or something. Some character dressed in like a hazmat suit with a machine gun. Why that kind of stuff shows up I don’t know, maybe a bot.

I previously had not seen anything Spartan like that since I was on Spartan! No random names or anything popping up. Possible pre-results synchronization.

Last night I was so bored at the idea of getting my steps in. Simple walking but I was doing it anyway. Then I remembered I have a lacrosse ball and I got it out. I started tossing it hand to hand while I was walking. After about five minutes I realized there are no rules. So I started bouncing it, it has the perfect bounce and size for that. I don’t have to run around and chase it. The only time I gotta go grab it is when I lose presence and get too much in the mind. It added just enough novelty that when my time was just about up, I started having fun and didn’t want to stop.

There’s a woman who’s popped up on my FB people you may know. She’s hot. I didn’t think I knew her. But now today I’m thinking it’s this chick I used to talk to back in like 2012-ish. I did all the right things but we just never got together. I forgot about her. Some years later I found out she was married moved out of state and had a kid from what I remember. So now she pops back up lives in the same city as me, is single. She’s like a physical therapist and fitness trainer now. I haven’t messaged her, I’m not in dating mode. I kinda just haven’t been even considering dating again at least as long as my money situation is not right.

So that seems like possible manifestations there. Especially since I’m switching over to Spartan for my fitness focus. I also wonder if my one dating type module long-range seduction could be at play. So the thing with her was it was fun and I wasn’t attached. Wasn’t a thing where we just kept on talking forever, it was like for a short time it was just fun and flirty or whatever. Then life happened. Now that she’s single and in the same city, maybe she remembers that one guy who was fun and not needy. lol I don’t know.

So if it is that same person I think it is, my mindset is just that I can’t mess up anything meant for me. That’s the approach I’m taking. Not gonna jump the gun and hey if it happens that’s cool.

Afternoonies:

Having a journal really helps. I keep mine here since it’s easiest. So I just go for it most of the time. Sometimes I’ll hold back certain thoughts or things. But it really helps out yourself, having a journal.

I may want to custom Spartan, just add those extra spices in there to make my perfect casserole, lol. I do plan for Spartan to be the rest of the year. At this time it makes most sense that I’ll always have a health/fitness title in the mix unless maybe I ever get to Emperor or something.

I would like to try true sell and maybe some charisma module in Spartan. Just to bridge the social/dating/wealth gaps.

One of the creators I watch is a guy who is pretty built and muscular. He talks about fitness dailies. Where he does basic exercises and his whole physique was built with those. But he never did traditional, optimized routines until recently. He would say if you want to bring up a body part you do a ten minute daily for 30 days. That’s like 10 minutes of one exercise every day. Like curls, or leg raises or shoulder press, whatever.

Yesterday I saw him say that when he first started training he just focused on endurance. It’ll help you in the future no matter what style of training you’re going for. So to me that seemed like another cool synchronicity for me. I just started my endurance focus and not worrying about anything else. Like that’s gonna be my base now. So it seems like things are kind of falling into place as far as coincidences and things lately.

End of Night:

I was going to say no updates. But then I thought a bit more. I’m feeling like life is good. Haven’t been overthinking at all tonight. Since this synchronicity has shown up in my sort of bubble, I’ve just been working on letting go of any feelings and attachments. For me, that’s number one. Clearing the runway.

So I don’t think it is the chick I was thinking of. She looks very similar though. Same first name. At least it stirred some memories of when I did everything right besides close with a hot chick. lol. Still coincidental that she’s a PT and fitness trainer.

[ABC333]

Day 1 of 5: No listening.

I haven’t made note but I seem to be slightly reconny at times, since bumping up to 7 minutes of the lbfh/drld custom.

Nothing too serious and I keep on and when it leaves its like it never happened. So that will keep me on my plan to taking Spartan slow. 30 seconds the first cycle. I probably won’t even consider adding more listening time of the custom this cycle.

Good Evenings:

My training is really helping me when I get to work. Not overly exhausted. Still tired but it’s definitely transferring over.

I was in my feels at work today. I think it’s just a side effect of being a bit tired, I mean like physically. Breaking a sweat and I just gotta keep going until I’m done. I usually take a 5 minute break before the last leg.

I also chalk up being in my feels to limits being destroyed. It’s not to the the point of crying, lol. But definitely in my feels. But it’s worth it and just part of the process.

I did end up messaging that woman before I left for work. Do I expect anything to come of it? Absolutely not! It’s more about taking action, I’m an action taking guy now. I go for what I desire and it’s not about getting what I want even. Just taking action. I’m taking on the abundance mindset. It’s not a big deal if I don’t get what I want, the action is what’s important. So if my other than conscious mind wants on board, it’s gonna make the things happen. Because now I go for it! Haha!

The night winds down:

I have been doing knees and pushups pullups on Sundays. I think I’m going to have to try Tuesday and Thursday only for pushups pullups. May try squeezing knees on the same days as FT for 3x a week. I need Saturday and Sunday for work only. I call those rest days even though I’m working. Definitely am feeling like Saturdays and Sundays are no workout days.

I think I’m pretty sure I’m going to make a 1 core custom with Spartan Apex. That’ll have to wait until maybe may though.

I’ve got my Spartan custom planned out. I was thinking it’s a mad scientist blend. But many of the modules would just fit in and build off Spartan. The only ones that look like they wouldn’t fit are like Focused Arousal, True Sell, Dragon Tongue, Charisma, and Deep Listening. But those just build out the Spartan to my well rounded custom that I’m ready to take for a spin. Just in a few months, lol.

Between the two customs I’d could see myself being happy with those, if I only had to go with two titles from here on out. They’ll definitely keep me busy for a year no problem.

[ABC333]

Day 2 of 5 no listening.

Riding that dynamic duo of LBFH/DRLD custom.

To me since the end of the third cycle it’s like the custom module, Joie De Vivre. Except it’s LBFH/DRLD.

"Enjoying life, loving your ambitions, having fun working towards your goals, walking your journey with joy. It is a great gift in life. Joie de Vivre helps you achieve this gift.

Similarities, differences, combinations:

Carpe Diem helps you become motivated from the very first moment you wake up through sheer drive, while Joie de Vivre does so by guiding you to realize that life is incredible and worth living.

Joie de Vivre will help you generally with enjoyment in life also, while Carpe Diem will develop within you a constant desire to excel.

Add both to have enjoyment with a powerful desire to achieve greatness."

It might seem like Carpe Diem light as well. The combo of LBFH/DRLD. I haven’t wanted to use Carpe Diem module because I never wanted to be nonstop. But I guess if it’s things I like doing it’s alright. Or things that just need to get done.

I’m feeling a general goodwill towards others as well.

The woman I messaged, hasn’t replied. I really don’t expect her to. lol.- Still some potential limits around dating the woman. But it was good to get a reminder that I have been able to do all the right things with hot women who are actually into me. I will say having the financial situation handled back then would have helped and definitely now as well. The chick from the past didn’t live in my city, but still like an hour away.

Another cashier chick at the store seems to have some level of attraction towards me. She might be closer to half my age though, in her 20’s I’d guess. I like her vibes though.

Good Evenings:

Yesterday I got my highest step count at work yet. We’re only talking 7K. Back in 2020 I was clocking like 20K steps at a job. I was still trying to workout and it was really tough. I don’t know how I was doing that.

Feeling a little lower energy today and would prefer to just rest. But when I think of starting my walk I kind of look forward to it, since now I’m bouncing the ball. lol It just has a novelty factor and maybe a slight fun factor since I’m not doing any sports these days. Keeps some sort of that youthful sense of play in the mix, which I think is important especially as we get older.

Also I still have the wanting to pick up the kettlebells again. But it’s best to just stick to the routine, it’s only going to get more challenging. So after that I’ll try out some kettlebells again. After the FT program is completed, then I’ll just use it as a warmup/maintenance thing for maybe a month and run through it again. That should keep the back issues at bay. I’ll probably just keep cycling through it.

I was sitting here not doing anything. I did my walk but haven’t done mobility. I was just sitting here and caught some of that wanting friends stuff coming up. Then realized yep, I still have to do this workout. Feeling like I’d rather be sleeping though. It does seem like it comes up when I’m getting too away from my goal of working out.

Good Nights:

I’ve gone through 3 or 4 revisions of my Spartan custom. I forgot I had worked out a rough draft with Paragon as a core.

This one is the final version. It’s more about adding on that fine tuned mindset, self-image and decision making, success, and a couple social modules to start moving out of hermit mode. Though I’ll always value that solitude at times.

I think my signature is to drop in 1 seduction module just because. I decided against steering it that route because the store titles are so good anyway. I’d rather pick a store title if I really wanted that focus.

[ABC333]

Day 3 of 5 no listening.

I was up all night until 7:30am. I didn’t take any late evening caffeine or anything. But I’m up about 6 hours of sleep. Feeling alright. Gotta work out and I’ll get that done because I anticipate that I’d probably need a nap before work later.

I think it was because I was so tired early. But I had to finish up FT training. I just stayed up past that wall and got the second wind I guess.

Man, it just feels so good lately. I am doing more taking care of things, as in getting things done. I’m feeling good about it.

In the past if I had I didn’t get much sleep, that’d mean extra anxiety and even crankiness. Today, none of that.

Mind is generally more quite. I still have occasional moments of anxiety, but it’s more what I’d say is just normal human experience. Not like where it’s all day. I remember in the past posting about these same kind of things over the year. But I’m feeling more at my best recently. As always I know there may come more challenges and situations but they’re temporary.

I really did put together the best custom for me with LBFH/DRLD. I made it with the intent to put in what I really needed rather than what I wanted.

Last night I had a few memories, long forgotten, brought up into conscious awareness. I didn’t need to do anything because they didn’t have much charge. But would have been some fear. I can just kind of see it for what it was and is.

The last few days I have just been focused on letting go of resistance. It’s like I can see and feel it now. So it’s less about doing some process just to get rid of it. It’s more that I see this is resistance and this is actually a feeling or emotion. So the processes I do work better for me now.

I think Merger of Worlds module really helps in the custom. Especially with DRLD.

“The Merger of Worlds: A module for bringing closer together your conscious and subconscious mind, allowing for faster execution of the subliminal and clearer communication between the two. You will find new abilities surfacing, a stronger intuition, and clearer vision of the things that are to come.”

LBFH Core
Path of Forgiveness
Solitude
Foundation
Eye of The Storm
Stonelike
Formless Clarity
Lion IV
Inner Voice
Safety Net
You Are Not Alone
Lifeblood Fable
Song of Joy
Depths of Love
Chosen of Venus
Love Without Attachment
Long-Range Seduction
Tyrant
The Merger of Worlds
DRLD Core

Today I’m also considering just bringing back LBFH/DRLD custom to 30 seconds. Next cycle I might just listen to Spartan and the custom at 30 seconds each, per listening day. That way I can increase listening time on both at the same time, to find my new sweet spot.

Good Nights:

I’d give myself a 100% rating as far as the knees and back go. Finally back to full form at least in daily activities. I’d like to bump up some cardio because that really helps when it comes to working. Especially the long weekend days. I will hold off on any jumping for maybe 2 weeks. Next week I might try doing step ups for some increased cardio benefits. Before the back and knee set backs I had it in mind that I wanted to start doing jumping jacks for cardio and endurance.

My mind was trying to get me to stick with Paragon for a little bit tonight. It was like since things are going so well why change anything? To me it’s still some of that fear of success. You know how when you make changes there’s the part of you that wants to keep the status quo, because that’s safe. It knows that.

[ABC333]

Day 4 of 5 no listening:

Was up about 2 hours later than I’d like to be again. 7 hours of sleep. Not feeling as good as yesterday. Probably a nap later.

Afternoonies:

I’m thinking I’ll pull back the custom to 3 minutes next cycle and go with 3 mins of Spartan. Will alternate the custom 3 mins one day and 30 seconds the next listening day.

I noticed lately that I’m starting to care more about my looks and appearance lately. It’s either some lingering Primal or just that increasing self love and perhaps Lifeblood Fable module- which is about increasing your reputation.

On Primal I bought some new shirts and a black leather blazer. I haven’t worn them much though. So between limit destroyer and foundation and eye of the storm modules, I guess we could work out some limits in regards to my appearance and looks. I have long hair and feel like it’s time to get it cut short again. I’ll wait until summer though. Also I have a scruffy patchy beard and felt like it’s time to shave it.

My max listening time with the custom seems to be 7 mins. 15 mins store title Paragon, didn’t appear to produce any noticeable recon above baseline.

My dealings with people are still very minimal. So if I had to deal with people more than I do, then 3 mins would probably be my top end listening time for the custom.

7 minutes of the custom seems to turn up the recon, I’d say that’s max level to where I’d want to be at. So it seems that LBFH/DRLD custom is pretty potent. I’m happy with the results but for me it’s a title to be respected. No jumping in for 15 minute loops yet. I hadn’t anticipated DRLD to be such a powerful title, especially after all my time spent previously with that healing focus.

Though, currently as far as supplementary healing titles, DRLD is my favorite.

I have been watching videos, too much if you ask me, on the scrolling apps. I’ve seen some guys talking about something, and lots of commenters saying this guy loves to hear himself talk.

Well, if they went to college they’d maybe have more understanding. To me, that comes from someone who’s gone through college. Where they will be like you have to write so many words. The brevity is not going to cut it in college. At the same time I think listening isn’t a highly sought out skill either. As they say our attention spans have gone way done with the advent of social media.

As far as myself, I always wanted to be a writer. So many rules that I got overwhelmed. Lately I’ve seen my ability to see and edit things increasing. I’ve certainly got a long ways to go but writing is not my focus anymore. I just journal and so the point is more free flow. But as time has gone on it does help me have a better eye for cleaning up and at the same time not really worrying about it either. I’m not getting graded.

I still haven’t really come online again as far as a direction for wealth creation. It really is still a fitness focus and just becoming someone who gets things done. Like those little daily things around the house or whatever.

But that is in DRLD, clarifying and going after your goals. So I am still moving forward and growing with DRLD.

Good Nights:

I am still tweaking my Spartan custom. I see a wealth module that I’d really like to try- The Worthiness Recalibration. It’s from the new EOG, but I think it’s the right touch for the custom I’m building. I could even consider using that module instead of Focused Arousal, which is my one wildcard module.

[ABC333]

Day 5 of 5 no listening.

New cycle tomorrow! Spartan store title and LBFH/DRLD custom.

I was at the store today. A cute chick walked by and we made eye contact and she smiled at me. She kept walking, so she probably has a bf.

I went to the dry cleaner and I haven’t been there since last year. There was this hot chick that I was looking forward to seeing again. Well, she wasn’t there. Maybe she doesn’t work there. I guess I’ll know when I pick up my dry cleaning. lol.

A little anxiety also. I think Spartan with it’s courage will really help me with that. But I was driving home and was feeling some anxiety but I just became aware that my body is pretty relaxed. Then I felt good again. Stonelike for the win. I was thinking it was interesting, it wasn’t about quieting the mind with intention or anything. Just noticing that my body was relaxed. So it’s an interesting module. I think it really helps with general low level anxiety for sure.

Afternoonies:

It turns out I might keep Paragon in the stack.

I was doing my back mobility. Finishing up and laying on my stomach. Got a pain my rib area. Now it slightly hurts at times, doesn’t feel like anything serious. It could be some kind of strain, I’ve never had that in the rib muscles.

I just read about somebody on the forum who had pulled an intercostal muscle or something, and it kept them form working out for quite a long time. I was thinking that would not be good at all. So now I might have a strain, very slight at this point. I’ll have a better idea tomorrow I think.

I guess I’ll take it as one of those course corrector moments and stick with Paragon for another cycle. Spartan can wait. It’s not officially spring yet.

I had a moment earlier in the day where I was kind of nostalgic about my short time on CWON. I’d like to revisit that title again some day. I think I did 3-4 cycles before my KB run.

I’m thinking a 2 day on 1 day off workout split might be better. But that means working out on my longer work days on the weekends occasionally. I might test it though, for the rest and recuperation benefits. I’ll still walk every week day.

I think it may come down to just being more in tune with my body and intuition rather than any set schedule. I think that’s the best of the best routes. And it’s just one of those things, how does one even get to that point? Have to be somewhat regimented and scheduled and planned with other areas of life it seems. I think the ideal for me would be just following my inner knowing. That’s a lot of the focus in my upcoming Spartan custom though.

Art of Trust is a new module but it’s tough to fit that one in after finally coming to what is probably my final product. Unless I swap out Courage Reclaimed, since courage is already part of Spartan’s whole thing.

Actually since I like to be active daily, I may need to incorporate some light movement on those off days. Maybe even like a simple tai chi practice. Or heck, even qigong. That way I still move but it’s more relaxed and gentle movement.

Good Nights:

A slight setback it seems. My back feels like I could use a chiropractic adjustment. So that means I’m doing the self traction unit tonight. I hadn’t done it for at least a week. But it was a good investment. It is passive and that’s another plus. But maybe it will keep me from a week off. Nothing major but it’s not an ideal situation. I’ve been doing all the daily mobility stuff, and it helped me get back, but now it seems like what set me slightly back. I should have taken a day off and just walked.

The rib strain is a rib joint strain I’m guessing. Where the rib cartilage attaches to the bone. It only bugs me when I am pushing chairs back in, pulling is fine.Just used my right arm to push all the chairs back in. Knees still feeling good. At least I can be walking daily if nothing else. I’m thinking I can still do my knee workouts if I’m unable to do everything else, if I have to.

[ABC333]

Day 1: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD Custom. 3 Mins Spartan.

Cycle 4 LBFH/DRLD custom. Cycle 1 Spartan Apex.

Woke up no pain in the ribs. So it’s nothing too serious. Just maybe no pushing for another day or two.

My lower back is sore but that’s more from the traction session. It feels good besides for that slight soreness. I think I’ll be good there.

I’m going with Spartan today. I really want to get a taste of the mental benefits.

I still have Paragon on tap. If I gotta deal with some pain I can always do a loop of that instead of Spartan. I got 5 cycles of Paragon in.

Afternoonies:

I seem to be on a roll. The creativity and energy is flowing again. I guess I gotta keep up the 3x weekly sessions on the self traction. I forget I have Song of Joy module in a LBFH custom, so that means that aspect can get kind of supercharged at times. Definitely Song of Joy vibes, creativity and sense of fun are turned up right now.

I don’t have any creative endeavors or hobbies though. So I’ll just do my walk and see what comes up as far as working out today. I’m planning for the FT session. I’ve gone a couple days of not doing that. It’s so tough and I got caught up in trying to hit the reps and sets instead of focusing on quality reps. I think that’s the biggest thing for me, just do the quality reps. If it takes way longer to finish the program that’s fine, this is about longevity now.

Spartan is my next step. I’m really hoping that it’ll help to guide me better as far as listening to my body and getting me to work on what my body needs to be at it’s top level. I think it will do that.

lol. Daaaaaan. Talking to my buddy again and I’m in a fun mood. So of course I aint serious, but it still gets taken that way. Anything I say is filtered back out through his paradigm so it’s like damn. He’s really serious. Serious and victim mentality is a deadly combo, man. Welp, back to solitude module, I got to get my steps in.

The best solution seems to be go back to taking all joy from within. Over my years and people I’ve been around. I accepted everybody as they were. Something that seems to be what the spiritual say but I don’t wanna hang around the spiritual either. Everybody is basically a reality unto themselves. So we have all these realities everywhere.

In my experience with people it really is kind of like dating. I used to think you pick that one and that’s it. Whatever you gotta do to make it happen and work. That wasn’t right for me. People are generally still the same, and I probably don’t want anything besides the simple small talk niceties anyway. You probably have to go through a lot of them to find the right ones. I could also see that as a limiting belief. But take your wholeness from within, that solves a lot of those problems. If it happens great, if not that’s great too.

So there’s still a case for me to want to try out Inner Circle. But again I can still see my wanting to meet the right people or friends is just me distracting myself from my purpose, my goals.

I’m not saying people should be this way or that way, it would just be nice to meet some people on my frequency, so to speak. Yet I see it as possibly taking a lot of time and work, like dating.

Which reminds me. I think business relationships might actually be easier in some sense. You’re not obligated to hang out but at times you still have to collaborate or work with them. I’m sure there are those egos but I think those would be easier to deal with in business.

I think a more solitude based personal life is my ideal or even preferred. Although those happenstance cases of making real connections are always nice and welcome.

My thing with people is that I’m a bit weary yet. Held on too long in situations thinking they’d see reality, that I’m merely existing and doing my job like anyone else. I got a lot of haters and yea, I never talked about people but that’s all they did.

I wasn’t judgemental but they were. Like my whole thing was live and let live. Yet it was like my existence was not tolerated. I got mocked. Heck, I wouldn’t admit it but maybe even bullied. But I kept bouncing back and showing up. It didn’t get me anywhere.

Leaving got me back in touch with myself. Even some of that harmony and ease in life. It just appears that me being able to deal with people and be in those environments would be the easiest ticket to more money, friends, lovers etc.

Since physical health is my priority. I don’t even look at like I’m losing time to do what I want. For me that doesn’t even come in to play. Because all I have is now. And I’m working on that priority. That’s number 1 so that’s what I work on. That’s something I have a big improvement in this year- just getting things done.

I also seem to be needing to do TRE again. My body seems to have some stuff to shake off. Especially when I’m done with the foam roller. I finish with my neck just on the foam roller. I turn my head right and left a few times. Then I do like a nodding motion just go get those suboccipital muscles. After that my body always has a shake. I found out that those muscles can be something to stretch and they’re great for stress relief.

I do feel like I could use some sort of massage therapy or something like that in conjunction with normal working out. Especially since there are days when my body needs a day off from my normal mobility, which is light work so I thought it was something I could do every day. But walking is the daily thing that I don’t need to take days off from. I would like to find something gentle that’s not yoga but just some gentle movement for those off days.

Afternoons:

I did this standing/walking mobility routine then I did FT. Felt good afterwards. I did not hit my reps on the third round of FT but I did quality reps. And I felt good after I was done.

I’m gonna get more steps in and hit the forearms later.

I also came across this video about personality types. I used to be into the idea. They mentioned some different types based on the Chinese categories. Like by elements. Metal, fire etc. Well it didn’t go into detail but it said like some people are overthinkers, some are fun oriented etc. I just think I might need to read my sales book on personalities. One of the first sales books I ever got. Just never read it.

At the very least I’m probably not going to change people or break them of their paradigm, that’d be silly to think anyway. But what I can do is navigate their worlds better. I can see where I’m coming from and I can see that I’m on one side of the river and they’re on the other. So I can get in my boat and cross that river if I have a better understanding of personality types. Then through that I can apply the How To Win Friends and Influence People even better.

Day 1 I don’t have any obvious observations to say that that was Spartan just yet. But I do think it streamlines with my mindset and goals well enough that I might not notice it right away.

Good Evenings:

I have it back on the table to switch out the custom with Phoenix for one cycle. I would then resume the custom. That would be next cycle. I would like to get a taste of the Phoenix.

I guess I just want to try out that Phoenix version of healing. Limit Destroyer is great but even in the copy it says take breaks if you need too, lol. I’m still pushing through but dropping the listening time to 3 mins this cycle.

But at the same time, I kind of fear the Phoenix. I’d kind of be mixing the two with the washout effect. Genesis Art of Happiness hasn’t been calling to me again. It probably will, I’ve got a whole cycle left. Something that’s a little break is what I’m after. I could always just run LBFH store title without the DRLD customized if I need a DRLD break. Or I’ve also got regular Love Bomb which could be a nice change of focus.

I bet I’d like Alchemist Singularity, but for now I’m only planning for one cycle off the custom.

I’ll plan to go with store LBFH next cycle for a break from DRLD.

[ABC333]

Day 2: No Listening

My sleep schedule seems to be normalizing again. Feeling what I’d call a slight invigoration. Positive energy. But subtle, around the normal folks I could be beaming, lol. I don’t think so though. Generally speaking though people seem to have flatline vibes around here.

I got to to see the hot chick but there were no sparks. I picked up my dry cleaning. She was just wearing sweats and probably not too excited about having to work on Saturday. If it was a situation where we saw each other more often maybe we could get some attraction going. There’s this thing where if you spend more time around someone the odds of attraction and friendship go up, just by vicinity.

Afternoonies:

I think this is the best stack. After a good night’s sleep. Sleep schedule back on track.

I feel like Spartan is going to be the perfect addition. The masculinity,warrior mindset coupled with the light protection aura in LBFH, and the detach and remove negative influences in DRLD and confidence, is just going to give me the right internal frame to keep any unwanted attentions at bay. Adds the right touch of willingness to take no prisoners mentality if it comes to that. Yet I’m still focused on my goals and living the How to Win Friends and Influence People way.

It’s like just the right touch of alpha that’ll let me live my life without the people circus. I mean they won’t feel the need to make me join by poking at me because they think I have something they don’t.

I seem to be experiencing some of that ready to tackle the challenges. I was already experiencing that after 3 cycles of LBFH/DRLD custom, but just wanted to give Spartan another quick love note. lol.

I’m feeling like a nap day, so not quite back to normal as far as sleep. But it’s not phasing me in that, I’m not really in a bad mood about it. I gotta do my knee workout then head to work in a couple hours. Definitely a pre-workout with caffeine day.

Work was pretty easy. The first half. I think the second half will be the same.

Sunday is my longest day it’s straight through no break.

I am feeling a little frustrated. I’m blaming it on my energy vampire buddy. He messages me today and says he likes funnies and sends a meme. And then he throws on his victim story and it’s America’s fault. Yea, I’ll say the guy is a drain. But I have nobody to blame but myself. They say see the good in people, well if they can’t ever see it themselves, is that something you can put up with without letting yourself be affected? If you can that’s great. I don’t know if I’m there yet.

Offered him my copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People, because it would help him in changing the wrong world. lol. A guy who will complain where dumpsters and cars are parked. Like report them to the tip line. Isn’t open to a subliminal either. But again, only myself to blame for putting up with it. I’m not a victim and it was my own doing.

I took a page out of my CC book and am going to apply the progressions of the pushups and pullups to my knee exercises. So I just added a set today to my exercises and it was actually easy. Taking things slow and focusing on quality reps really helps, it might seem slow going but I’m seeing the payoff. Definitely optimistic about getting back to jumping and more of that explosive type physical training.

End of Night:

I’m reconning. You know how they say unchecked aggression. Well, this is more checked aggression. It’s not boiling over. I can back it down fairly easily.

I can see how Spartan is adding the right touch to move through it.

So my new plan is to keep the LBFH/DRLD custom to 30 seconds for this whole cycle. I’m just going to run this one with Spartan leading the way.

I was having the kind of recon I haven’t had since I was on my Survival Instinct/Spartan custom that was fully loaded with a lot of the kind of social healing and defensive modules. It wasn’t to that level but enough to where I’m applying the strategy of live to fight another day.

My favorite combo so far is LBFH/DRLD it’s just magnificent. The DRLD is what’s having me to pull back for a cycle to let the grass grow. I was getting caught up in the push through it mentality but it’s like if it was a sport, there’s an off season. You need to take a break once in awhile. Same with physical training, may need that down week once in awhile. Even a job gives you time off, but some of us never take the vacation unless we’re sick, maybe because we didn’t take that vacation, lol.

[ABC333]

Day 3: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD custom. 3 mins Spartan.

Lol my buddy messaged me today. No hi no anything just straight into what he’s doing. It’s like why would I care? I’m supposed to listen to your self narration and just add fun value while having to think over everything I say before I say it so as not to open a pandora’s box? lol. Man.

How to Win Friends and Influence People should absolutely be required reading. Hell, they should teach us a course on it in school. How much better things would be as a society. I obviously haven’t mastered it and I just finished 20 listens of the audiobook. It’d be ideal in school because you’d have that sort of foundation moving forward, and for many people being in school is the peak social period.

I can see how I’m doing some of the things, making progress. I think I don’t get it all in practice and I look over myself and see that oh I am doing that. It’s not the major stuff but I’m still doing some of it. So there is progress. I also see where I’ve made some of the same mistakes that I don’t like in others.

Basically it’s like everybody is right and even if they’re wrong they don’t know it. So you telling them they’re wrong and going that route is not going to end up in the desired outcome. Everybody is interested first and foremost in themselves.

Something I have struggled with in the past is that I did the treat others how you want to be treated. So if I applied that to others, well I wouldn’t be treating them very kindly and that’s just not me. But sometimes it’s like well, if that’s really what they want, that’s the self image of themselves they have what can I do? Give them what they want, or walk away.

I guess it probably still ties into even the worst criminals will never admit to being wrong. The book gives lots of examples of the most famous criminals. They got their sense of importance from that. Yet even if they were sentenced to death for killing people, they never admitted wrong. They still saw themselves as some kind of benefactors of society. Even going as far as to say I have a kind heart, I would never hurt a soul. That, after murdering someone in cold blood.

So I still struggle with some of the concepts around people. At the same time it’s helping to accept the reality of people’s natures. I can fight against it or maybe it’s just easier for me to work with it.

I never did get a message back from the fitness trainer, physical therapist woman, who looked like my friend from like 10-15 years ago. I didn’t expect one though. I did instinctively do some things right. It was after I messaged her I heard of this concept or strategy on like a dating type podcast. That yea, I did that right. I don’t think it was a perfect message that I sent but that wasn’t the point. The point was just to take a shot.

Good Evenings:

Work was pretty easy. Wasn’t a problem, got done slightly early. Not worn out.

I think Spartan was definitely the right choice for me. Also lowering the custom to 30 seconds. No recon today. More understanding and learning rather than arguing in the thoughts. I’m not really looking for how others react to me but I’m sure I’ll notice any changes there.

Able to walk at a much quicker pace than I had been. I would like to see improvements on my internal hip rotation. My feet are slightly pointed out when I walk, I’d like them to be straight. But it looks like I’m on course, where I’d be able to go hiking no problem come summer time.

This new pre-workout seems to be worth buying a tub of. I got samples with a free shaker cup. As long as the caffeine is like 200mg or less I like to try those offers. 350mg caffeine is just not something I enjoy, lol. Some people do though. The first day I just felt good. But I haven’t gotten that since the first day. But it seems to last and I didn’t feel like I need a pick me up to finish out my work day.

My initial impressions are that Spartan is definitely a winner for me. And as long as I pull back on the LBFH/DRLD custom as needed, this is a stack I’ll be happy with for a year easily.

End of night it’s a day off working out. So I didn’t have much to do. Tired anyway. For a little bit I was feeling like I need like a social healing sub. If anything some time with Genesis art of happiness, would be a good title for me. But I’m still not sure where that fits in. If this cycle is still a little rough I could see trying that out for a month, taking a break from the custom.

My wanting friends would come up when I was procrastinating working out. So I think it’ll be interesting. The progression of it seems like now the feelings are surfacing. Before it was something I was using to reinforce the new habit of getting it done now. But it didn’t have the feeling sense any more so than it appeared to be just some form of procrastination. So I’ve been kind of awash in the feelings tonight. Not tears or anything, lol. Just feeling down but I dunno, I know it’s temporary.

I will say it was kind of quick succession. In that i felt like I had a breakthrough with the custom nearing the end of last cycle. So as far as I would say, this is just another breakthrough in progress.

I did have one moment while I was driving home from work. Feeling pretty much at ease. I saw this guy walking towards a 4 way stop. Well the timing was there that I could just turn after I stopped. No other cars and so I did. But of course I checked to make sure the guy was still far enough away that there was no issue. And we made brief eye contact but he looked down immediately and lowered his head. He was kind of a bigger guy too. So possible respect or intimidation hit.

[ABC333]

Day 4: No listening.

I was laying in bed after I woke up- planning to go back to sleep since I was awake early. But my mind was doing the Ho’oponopono mantra. So I just started doing that. And then I think I was transmuting sexual energy. It would start where it starts say the root chakra, but it seemed like it would go up to the heart fairly easily and become love. Then I did the same thing, no resistance kind of just observing it and eventually it seemed to move up to like the head. So it was a few cycles happened, took I don’t know maybe an hour. Maybe 3 cycles or so maybe more. But nothing I was trying to rush or “do.”

I wasn’t trying to do anything. And after the first cycle or two I was curious if it was one of those things where it would go up each chakra. Again, not consciously trying to do that just watching it. So on the later cycles it did kind of seem like it would go up to each what are called chakra centers. Like it would go from heart then throat then third eye and up. But it would seem to go effortlessly from root to heart and then from there it was like it would go to each successive chakra center.

So I could see maybe that’s some KB unlocked thanks to DRLD and LBFH influence also. But as far as trying to tell somebody how they could do it, I wouldn’t be able to. I didn’t actually set that intention. It was just I had the sexual energy and it was just readily transmuting to love I guess in the heart center and maybe some slight intention to see if it would go all the way up. I’ve heard Joe Dispenza talk about something like this but it’s done with breath and squeezing the pc muscles or something. So I guess I was more curious to see what was happening.

For me I think I’m going to call is sexual energy transmutation because that’s what the energy started as, the sex energy.

But I guess something that’s been coming up from the past. Was this guy who used to work at the same place. He was like a bible reader guy. But he did not live it. He was stuck on that thinking he’s a sinner because he has bad thoughts and drinks. Yet the guy has a family and like two jobs. He was one of those guys who would go on youtube and find any random video and not have any discernment. He probably thinks going within is against God. He also says god is and angry god, a vengeful God and he hates evil.That kind of stuff. But if some seeming religious guy on youtube says something then he goes with that.

Like one time he was talking to me about the kundalini and how it’s not in the bible so it’s satanic and all this stuff, oh reiki that’s satanic too. And the guy was really full of BS. So he was the guy who kind of started the ball rolling on the shittiness directed at me towards in my last job. He was also trying to get me I dunno to feel bad because psychic abilities are satanic according to him because they’re a side effect of kundalini. Like damn dude, if that’s all so bad why are you so obsessed with it? Leave me alone and let me have my own privacy and right to exist. But I guess it’s like they say, we humans don’t see reality, we see our version of it. So I wasn’t interested in arguing but I was breaking out of my being a nice guy finally. That’s really when I started to just walk away at the first sign of any of this unwanted attention and bs from people. No more trying to continue to be nice and hope they see there’s not problem besides the one they believe in.

He had the bodybuilder friend who tried to out alpha me one time. The bodybuilder dude had no clue his friend was shitty and I was on GLM so I kind of was really gonna take no bs from this dude. He started it and yet after that I would still be nice, but could just tell this dude was just not a good dude. Didn’t feel good to be around him probably his own version of reality was skewed and slimy. But of course he would never look within himself to find out any kind of truth. Then I walked by the front desk one time and he was putting words in my mouth to somebody. It was his own words, but I just agreed with him. So yea, just a shitty dude man. He was even on some trip that our president was going to nuke the middle east and thats’ why he was pulling our troops out lol. This was right before the pandemic stuff. So much madness was getting pushed out to people and people were still buying into it.

So I think I’m reconciling some things nicely. I didn’t plan to write this journal but I can see that it’s being resolved. I used to never talk about “problems,” and when i did it was only because I was over them kind of thing.

I feel like I’m taking my power back even more, nothing dramatic just maybe this could be a possible flirtation with Path of Forgiveness. I haven’t seen any results that I would directly attribute to that module just yet.

Today is going by slow, in a good way in that I don’t have anything to do. The only thing is I wish it was time for my workout. I’m probably going to do it early, then in the evening I can do some housecleaning since it’s a day off work. Not really in a reading mode, a little tired since I woke up like an hour early.

Lately I’ve also had moments where I understood the power of one’s energy. In terms of how you’re perceived by others. But for me it’s not a thing I could explain how to do it yet. To me a lot of stuff isn’t like an intellectual thing, it’s more still mind, presence, flow, knowing,being type stuff.

I found a guy I like listening to. There’s not much from him but he’s a sales guy. Doesn’t say anything I haven’t heard but it’s in a way I like, that I can learn and understand from. I just realized there are some people I like to listen to more for entertainment value, then there are others who I can learn and understand from even if I can still see some of their insecurities or whatever it is.

It’s like say they have a word habit that I don’t like, like one dude calls his listeners boys and to me it doesn’t feel congruent. He sounds like he also types out a script and reads that. I tend to be more of a no notes guy and flow with it. But I don’t negate his message for it. I guess it’s still acknowledging the value in the message rather than focusing on what I perceive are the flaws. So I’m always growing and understand things on a deeper level, and also still finding the right resources for me.

Another guy who I always considered one of the greats in the human potential world. Said something I didn’t agree with. He said that he heard a guy talk about presence, but he always gave the same talk, same as the book he wrote. I’ve heard people do that too. I just chalked it up to them being so engrossed in their material that they know it so well, and so that’s what they go with. But I still see what he’s saying because he’s a guy who to me is creative and more off the cuff and fun. He seems to think presence isn’t presence. Like if you’re standing in the road and a car is coming down but if you’re present you’re just gonna get run over.

Well my understanding and experience of presence is more flow with life. Common sense, in a sense. That if a car is coming and I’m standing there, obviously I’m going to get out of the way. So it’s the same outcome just a different understanding I guess. Like if I’m fully present in the moment, I’m also flowing with that moment. I do what I need to do, and don’t do what I don’t need to do kind of thing. It’s not like an intellectual thing, it’s being alive and if it involves action then that’s what happens. So it’s kind of more Hero Origins type vibe than whatever the stereotype of spirituality is.

A long time ago I also heard a comic talk about this guy did these mindfulness retreats at his home or something. He had all these guys doing yard work being mindful. And one guy crashed the riding lawnmower, lol. Well to me, that guy wasn’t actually mindful, he was probably doing what he thought was mindfulness. And maybe he just never drove a riding lawnmower.

Good Evenings:

I would say whatever that recon and all the feelings were has been broken through. I haven’t had like a blissful moment where I’d be saying LBFH is the best yet though.

It seems to be going that I get some recon, other times I’ll be having new insights and understandings. Then I’ll have some just chill quiet mind moments. And kind just goes between those states. Also have some getting things done now thrown in the mix.

So now I don’t see any need to want to try Phoenix. I like how DRLD works. Plus it’s a custom and I like my modules, I really did put together the package I needed with LBFH/DRLD.

There’s been the ever so slightest wanting to be on Primal again. But I just started Spartan and that covers my most pressing needs. So with some time on Spartan and when I get my Spartan custom in a couple months, all bases will be covered.

3 month cycles of the custom seems to be the spot. I start at 30 seconds and by the 3rd cycle I’ll be up to 7 mins again. Then I may have to pull back to 30 seconds. So if I was really going for the sweet spot it appears to be more of a 3 minute mark if I wanted to stay steady with out cycling back off to 30 seconds.

There’s another chick from my past. It seems like every so often some chick from my past comes up as available. The last time it happened was like 3 years ago. A couple chicks from the past came back on the market. Well with one we had differing world views. With the other one I made a joke and that got me ghosted. lol. Both chicks that were 100% in the bag, done deals. But one had kids and her ex was still living with her and she had a stalker or something crazy, and she was really political. The other one I found out was in recover, nothing wrong with that. I don’t party or drink anyway. But that didn’t work out either, she didn’t like my sense of humor I guess.

This time around it’s a chick who basically asked me out from like jr. high. I didn’t know she was asking me out. I had really bad social anxiety and yea. Now she’s like super hot and single. But I’m not feeling like a Wanted man. So who knows, Spartan will probably grow on me so I’m not going to try messaging this chick. She also has a kid now. Almost a teenager it looks like, and I dont’ know my thoughts on that whole situation. I think her ex is like some biker dude too, so I don’t know the situation.

The Good Nights:

I was realizing tonight something deeper when they say ignorance is bliss. Like when I didn’t see situations for what the were at the time, now having the wisdom to read the situations more accurately, it brings up momentary regret. But I dont’ call it regret because it doesn’t last and I can’t change the past. So I can accept it and move forward.

Although I have had a new idea lately, I used to listen to Neville Goddard a lot a year or two ago. He has this thing called revising the past. Well that never clicked with me. But timeline therapy suddenly clicked for me. That’s where you kind of visualize yourself going back over your timeline and coming back through to the present, having the knowledge you have now. I think that’s something I could definitely utilize effectively now. It used to be this thing that I didn’t really grasp. It was like well you just let your unconscious do the work. But now that I’m in a different place, I could do it consciously.

Like say I wish I’d worked out differently. Well I could use it with that. The knowledge and wisdom I have now. Say I got back on the mental timeline and assume that I had the right knowledge and training and bring that forward to now.

Or say I went back on the timeline and I did shoot all my shots and I take that forward to now. That might give me more confidence now. Since they say the past doesn’t exist it’s only a memory. And memories aren’t 100% accurate anyway. It’s just a use of the imagination to let yourself have a better now moving into the future. Of course I’d have to read through a book about it again so at least I could describe it better and have the right verbiage.

I did FT training. Hit all reps on all sets. So this might finally be official week one of the program.

I did my forearms, and I actually went to failure on the last exercise. I am currently doing 25 reps on all exercises outside of FT. I think more for the conditioning endurance aspect than anything. Also helps to build focus and mind muscle connection. Plus it transfers more readily to my daily life and work life. So it’s a great foundation. I will probably start an extra session of fast walking for cardio. I tried it tonight and can walk at a pace to break a sweat. Morning walk will just be nice and easy though. So I’m still on track to be doing some boxing cardio in a couple months.

[ABC333]

Day 5: 30 sec LBFH/DRLD custom, 3 mins Spartan

I gotta say I’m feeling invigorated today. Looking forward to my work out. I gotta run to the store but I’ll probably do it as soon as I get back.

I looked in the mirror today and my abs are tightening up very nicely. This, after feeling like I wasn’t quite on track with keto again. I had a lax last week where I was out of keto for like 3-4 days. Then on Saturday after work I started in on the junk food. And now I look even better in the mirror? This happened last time. So periodically two days off keto is actually doing good things for how my body looks. Even though I felt like I wasn’t hitting the marks with my diet the mirror says otherwise.

I think it was also psychological benefit for me, to be a little lax. I was reconning. Now I’m all in again.

Got some chick with her man checking me out. The ladies by themselves didn’t seem to notice me or check me out. Oh, at the checkout there were these two hot blondes together. I was not checking them out but one of them kept checking me out.

I’m adding Total Nonchalance, and Iron Frame modules in my Spartan custom. That will definitely help me up the social game. I have confidence in myself but just not with the ladies right now. It’s been a more inner healing focus as of late. I guess my main game nowadays is just have the vibe that I already have a woman so I’m not interested. lol.

I could feel that I had confidence in me though, so that’s probably what it was with the blonde chick, I just didn’t have that approach confidence, and just wasn’t in that mode. I even kept the vibe of the hot chick from the dry cleaner, just wearing sweats, I’m not out to meet anyone. So I think that helps, if you’re all groomed and have on some nice clothes, that would help you feel like you’d want to approach someone who is interested in you, if it’s mutual.

I am noticing an increased sense of masculine drive. It’s nice.

Good Afternoons:

Man, I am really in my feels this afternoon. I couldn’t tell the story of why, because I don’t know.

I’m considering swapping out the custom with store LBFH, just to finish out the cycle. It really seems like it’s time for a break from the custom. It’s going deep. Now it’s like going through one of the tougher titles.

I might switch to Genesis The Art of Joy. That would be a welcome breath of fresh air.

Got through the feels for now. I’m probably going to switch to store LBFH and bring on regular LB. So it’ll be Spartan Love inside and out.

But I skimmed over LB thread. I suspect it could possibly forgiveness scripting that has me int he feels. As I’ve state previously, I hadn’t seen anything that would let me say yes this was definitely Path of Forgiveness module. So I could be risking going right back to the thing I’d like a break from.

So I might pull a wild card and do 30 seconds LBFH and 30 seconds Heartsong. I think part of it is me not taking advantage of opportunities. But I don’t actually feel like yea I’m sad because I didn’t talk to the hot chick. So there’s probably a block or limit there, a wall that’s cracking.

Although, True Social would probably help the most. I think Heartsong could be potential heavy healing for me specifically. True Social would be the “lighter” choice. Though I have CWON and that would be nice to get back to. Plus I have that one already. It also has scripting to use your emotions or something, so that would synergize with what I’ve already been developing with my custom.

Okay, CWON it is. It’s gonna be CWON, and Spartan. for a cycle or two. They’ll have a nice synergy. CWON also has some health scripting. It also has similar lines to LBFH from a different approach. Would also give me more of the inner power, while helping me with those feels, lol.

So at least I learned that my LBFH/DRLD custom, though really good. Might be my favorite title. Is just a 3 cycle title. Then I gotta take a break. It could also be time for an extended washout, like 30 days off. So I think I will keep going this cycle with just Spartan and see how that goes. I’m pretty certain I don’t have any recon from Spartan.

End of Night updates:

What I think would be a good move is to take on Limitless next cycle. That would be a nice change of pace from dealing with the feelings. It’s getting close to when I would like to be back on Primal as well. So I’m sure I’ll have a better idea when this cycle is closer to being over.

Following up DRLD with Limitless is probably what I need most. Between Spartan and Limitless, I’d be doing that studying I’ve been wanting to do. Still working on my fitness and would still have the courage and confidence to pursue anything else I wanted.

[ABC333]

Day 6: No listening

Feeling pretty good today.

I’m feeling like I’m back at the new elevated baseline level. It’s not as high as I was low, but I think it’s better this way. It’s baseline, something that feels sustainable.

So I guess DRLD was doing some major overhaul. Now I’m feeling like I might try 30 seconds again tomorrow. It was just tough going through that last round of recon and feelings. I even pulled out the EFT tapping.

Ideally I was planning on long term with the LBFH/DRLD custom. But maybe 3-4 cycles is kind of the max before changing gears and focus. The Spartan custom will only have one healing module, Attachment Destroyer, so I think that will definitely be a title I can run for a year.

Afternoonies:

I was laying here in bed scrolling the social media. And I just gotta get up and do my workout now. I gotta get moving. Since starting Spartan my workout time has bumped up and hour or two from when i was normally scheduling it. So the procrastination is getting nipped in the bud.

Yea, I still have some rumination over what my next move is. Sometimes I think maybe just slide Paragon back into the mix. But even something like Ascended Mogul is considered, because the boss at one of the places I clean just left suddenly. Like 25 years, so I don’t know who my new contact is or anything yet.

I would like to have that drive to start up some other source of income for myself. Also I would like to have the freedom and time to still workout like I do. A normal job still doesn’t seem like it would work for me. I wouldn’t want to work 8 hours manual labor physical job anymore, and I’m not ready to sit in a desk all day either. Yet, because I am 42, climbing the ladder doesn’t seem like much of an option anymore.

I can see how if I had the degree, I could possibly get into a situation like where I clean. They go through so many people that maybe I would like to fill an accounting role, I think I could handle that. But I have no experience.

I value freedom and time more than anything, and yet I know on the horizon I’m going to have to be bringing that money home soon. CWON could help me explore life a bit more and gain new insights. Limitless would help me greatly in just studying and going through some more practical materials. I like self study and would like to find my thing for some sort of business of my own.

My Spartan custom that is on the table, is focused on decision making and I’ll add True Sell and a few wealth modules, that aren’t 100% wealth, more like general modules that could apply to more areas than wealth. Like finding and making the most of opportunities whether that’s business, health, whatever.

Regular Genesis might be good too, since that’s kind of where I’m at also. I’d still get some LB and social, a little wealth etc. I think I’d prefer that route since Genesis might not be something I’d run for a year, just a few cycles to get that clarity and focus on what I’d like to pursue.

So just a lot of wanting to think things through and get my most authentic life intentions to the surface so I can get into more of the action phase. Revelation of Mind for sure, but to me, Genesis would be first.

Quite honestly Genesis seems the preferred route. All those things I like from LBFH/DRLD with less of that healing focus and more about clarifying and taking action I’d think.

And now I’m wondering if it’s not a good idea to do 30 seconds of the custom again. So I do think I’ll play it by ear and will at least take a week off the custom. Give it some space to process.

I’m finding that generally speaking and only in my experience, the people I gotta deal with, aren’t good at dealing with people either. Even though some of them may have businesses and are even counselor types. The dealing with people still kinds of falls through the tracks, even though these people are in the field of dealing with people, like counseling type stuff. lol.

They still hear what they hear. Me I can see I’ve always been good at understanding what people are really saying, rather than what they say. Or even just simple things, like being conscious of where I leave things setting. Like in my mind if somebody could trip or something like that, I will move the item. Or even tidy up my eating space when I’m done. As a cleaner and just in personal life I see how generally people just don’t think of those kinds of things. Or care enough to do anything about them.

So maybe making more money than me doesn’t really have to do with being good with people. Just, good enough, lol. I can also see how with the challenging people in my life, rather than try to do How to Win Friends and Influence People, I’ll just talk to them how they talk to me. Not in spite, but to me it’s just that’s how they see the world. It saves me time and energy and instead of having to argue or fight with them. It’s not ideal, and I still have to watch myself and still be flexible and dynamic, in that each person is not the same. They don’t have the same style of understanding and communication. I have to watch myself so it doesn’t become automatic behavior in me. Which we’ve all taken on automatic unhelpful behaviors, and things we don’t even see in ourselves. I can see how talking to them and feeding it back to them is something I don’t have to think about either, because I’ve been around it so much. Now, rather than getting upset and fighting it, it’s just okay well I dont’ like to waste my time or energy so this is most efficient.

Like sometimes you meet people and things that are normal in your world, are foreign in theirs. So getting upset really doesn’t help anything. I guess I’m just learning to maneuver better and not take on other people’s energy so much anymore.

I guess now that I’ve mentioned it, I’ve seen other people do that too. Since generally people aren’t happy at their jobs. I’ve seen some genuine people thought, and haven’t really seen the negative types recently. I’ve seen people do what I’m talking about, in talking with others, so they’re not genuine but they’re faking it and the person leaves and their just more miserable and they hate their job. With the help of sublclub I think I’m, more staying at my elevated baseline in those situations. Though I still have my moments too, but I can see my battle just for the sake of needing a word, is with “myself” more than anything.

"End of Nights:

Still reconny sometimes. Nothing major. I guess it’s just break time from the custom.

[ABC333]

Day 7: 3 mins Spartan

A little raw yet with the feels at times. So I may try 30 seconds of Phoenix Reborn once a week. As I previously stated, I’m not in the mood for more healing. But Phoenix could help to process whatever got stirred up with LBFH/DRLD custom.

Afternoonies:

Still in the feels. Monkey mind wants to put some story on it but none of it is true. I’d say it’s probably just mourning of a past life lived with limitations. Just processing the work of the LBFH/DRLD custom.

Feels moved on. Now I’ve had some random thoughts of people from way back. People I hadn’t thought about in a loong time. No issues with them though. They weren’t friends either. We’re talking like 30 years ago, lol. It was a time in my life when I felt like I was so limited with anxiety and all that junk.

Good Evenings:

Some women, especially the ones who are by themselves, find me intimidating. I went for a drive this evening. I happened to make eye contact with a lady who saw me before I noticed her, as soon as we made eye contact she couldn’t hold it. I was driving and some blonde woman drove by, before we even made eye contact, like right at the exact moment we would have, she put her head down, lol it was kind of dramatic. So uhh, yea I’d say my masculine power is definitely increased since starting Spartan.

I went to the bank and the cashier, was not physically attractive. She was plump. But she had this feminine vibe and voice, and she greeted me with a smile. I felt how that made me feel a little better. I think the women who are intimidated by me are more in their masculine and know they can’t compete.

I think this blonde woman I saw before, when I was running Survival Instinct/Spartan custom. Same thing happened. It was also at the same spot! But that’s just due to people usually taking the same route home from work or whatever at the same time. I hadn’t driven that particular route at that time in quite some time.

I had a memory come up when some due was mocking me. Because I had a deep voice. And the woman he wanted was more into me. He wasn’t a masculine dude, he was a lil B. I see that now. I also see that I wasn’t in my masculine either because I didn’t pull the trigger with the chick, and I let his mocking affect me. So had I been in my masculine, a lot of that stuff would have never bothered me.

So it’s just nice to get some insights. I’m also seeing that I want a softener title to go with Spartan. Not to get softer but to ease back the intimidation factor. For some people I guess I’m just naturally intimidating for some reason. I’m definitely thinking Chosen from Within, but Genesis is going to win out because it has the wealth scripting. It also has the love bomb and that kind of thing in it.

End of Nights:

One big thing that people don’t know as far as communication, is that you may know all about what you’re talking about. But the other person may not. They might not even admit it because the fear of looking stupid or something. But say in a sales process, not everybody is familiar with your product. You may be jumping to page 10 when they’re not even familiar with the book beyond the cover.

Like somebody mentions something and they assume you’re supposed to feel a certain way, but you don’t even have the information that they apparently have. So you’re scratching your head wishing you knew what this guy meant. I just saw a video like that. I can follow along with what he’s saying until he mentions somebody’s name who I support, but for context of what he was saying, he doesn’t support that person. But in his world it’s assumed you know why, and there’s just many examples of that kind of thing. Then there’s the thing of people not wanting to ask for clarification because they don’t wanna be seen as stupid, so rather than being informed, now they’re not, but they’re just going along, and I don’t think that’s ideal either.

Expect less from others and more from yourself. I like that idea. I get it more today. Say if people are intimidated by me, is that my fault? Of course not. Do they know that? Generally, no. To us people it’s always the world’s fault of their fault. But I used to take on that kind of mentality. Yet I just didn’t like the poor treatment. But that’s really what people wanted was to be fought with, that gives that sense of importance. So naturally I became somewhat of a recluse.

But now I’m seeing that yea I’m just gonna have to be the one with the good communication. I’m also getting a better idea of what it means to lead. It doesn’t mean telling others what to do. It doesn’t even involve force. I notice when I’m just being masculine, not thinking about what that is, being it. That it changes those dynamics. With the challenging family member who is a female, I can see how the dynamics seem to be changing. And yet to me all I’m doing is being myself, it’s not even trying to do anything. It kinds of rubs off so they’re less reactive. So I’m understanding some things a lot more.

At the same time trying to deal with people, generally it’s kind of an energy waste. That’s why I think business relationships, I would be better at. It’s not like I’m trying to get something from others, besides just some human connection.

So that leaves me confused, which is good. About which title I want to run. Inner Circle for sure to meet the right people. Yet I also want to be better with people, but not so much driven to do so unless it relates to my goals. I like a small circle anyway. So Heartsong of course.

I really like being masculine. It’s not even what I thought either. I can’t really explain it. Just understanding and being more, not more, just being. lol.

I had a little frustrating day at work. I didn’t get paid from the office cleaning gig yet. The boss lady was suddenly out without warning. New boss. Said she’d have my check issued today. Nothing. I know it’s not the situation. So I’m not frustrated because of this or that, I’m only frustrated because it doesn’t align with what I think should be. I should have my check. I know when I get my check, I’ll be feeling good. Sure it’ll look like it’s because I got my check, but that’s not really what’s making me happy either. It’s more internal. Even though I know that much it still looks like it’s the situations lol. They say it’s only your thinking, well, we’re not really in control of that the way we think we are. They say just stop thinking, well try that out too and see what happens. lol. That makes it worse.

I think my masculinity could also be Primal being unlocked from my time with my LBFH/DRLD custom. I wouldn’t ever custom Primal, and yet I’d like to have that money in there. So I still have time and I’ve got that Spartan custom on the table, but Genesis kind of negates the necessity of that custom.

I will probably bring back store LBFH because I’m certain it’s the DRLD that was causing my recon. I’d actually prefer regular LB but LBFH will be a nice balancer to any intimidation factor that Spartan gives me.

Well, if I try anything I’m gonna try another 30 seconds of the LBFH/DRLD custom. When the time comes. I think I can handle anything 30 seconds would bring up again. lol. DRLD coming in clutch after making it out of the worst of it, a few days later.

We were hitting some stuff on the ex in the last couple days too. I’m still understanding that yea, leaving her was for the best. She would have left me because I was all in for her, I had fallen in love. It doesn’t make sense, but it does. lol. I still won’t tell anybody my opinions and ideas are right for them. Nope. If I did that I could be taking away some serious growth and learning, and that stuff doesn’t come from someone telling you something, that comes from living, experience. Which is really inevitable.

I had a brief physical scare while I was eating dinner. I stood up fast, and felt this sensation in my knee. So I immediately sat back down and there was no pain though. I though maybe I had strained or pulled something. For a second I was worried what am I gonna do if I can’t work? But there hasn’t been any pain. I just have to remember to take it slow yet. I did knees last night and just didn’t hit my calf reps. So I may need to break out the massager gun and work those calves. I just don’t have the motivation for that for some reason. It’s not as fun as exercising. I should probably just Heartsong myself a nice massage therapist or someone who would enjoy doing it for me lol.

I was moving better at work though. I had no hesitation and instinctively knew what I could do. I was making up for kind of favoring my one leg with the other and still moving quick and more agile than I have been. It was more of a just wanting to get out of there kind of night. I was up late again last night. I can feel I’m back in ketosis again and had no problem this week sticking to it. I will be trying the honey diet for a month this summer, it’s basically you can eat unlimited fruit and honey until dinner. Then eat a normal keto meal. No carbs just fat and protein. Nowadays there’s a movement of people who eat all the sugar and carbs and apparently that’s good for metabolism and they get great results. Keto is just what has worked for me and so I stuck with it for years. I tried counting calories, eating low glycemic carbs and counting calories and finally settling on keto because I got results.