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[ABC333]

Day 8: No listening.

I was a little reconny last night. When I was at work there was a moment where I was like this is really the perfect amount of recon. Since it may have to be part of the process, this is just the right amount, lol.

Before I went to bed I saw a video. A new concept was introduced to me. Vetting people you’re dating. I really liked the concept. I wish I’d known about it sooner. I could have vetted my ex and known it wasn’t for me. I think that’s when I realized it wasn’t going to work, when I started really looking at what I wanted. Well, she didn’t fit that. Had I vetted her in the first place I would have saved so much time and energy. But I also think that just being attracted to people gets in the way. So if I had known about vetting when I was younger, would it have mattered? I didn’t have the wisdom yet.

No stomach situations for 2 days. I really think it was more possibly a stomach bug of some sort, viral, or something.

I’m planning on starting my wall pushups and pull up progressions today. Gonna start from absolute beginner mode. I’ll do that after work. I’ll also hit the knee exercises because it’s been two days off. My body said it was rest/recovery mode.

After work:

Work went good. No stamina problems.

Now I’m in my feels a bit again. So still reconning.

I think I need a good night’s sleep. Just had dinner time to relax. Haven’t done any exercise yet since getting home from work. But I’ll get it in. Just need some decompressing first.

End of night: I kinda like the wall pushups. First day. I could see how it could get boring, after awhile. But for now it’s new and it gets the blood flowing and feeling the burn. It also requires mindfulness to keep the proper pace. I’d guess it won’t take longer than a month to meet the goal to move on to the next progression. I actually think the higher reps will be better for me due to the blood flow and joint benefits. I could definitely see myself back to regular pain free pushups later this year.

I was worried I wasn’t going to get any biceps work from the vertical pull. They’re the opposite of the pushups. But I couldn’t find a way to do them. Basically you need a pole or a rack to hold on to and you clasp your hands around it. Well eventually I realized I could try my barbell. Just stand it in the door frame like a pole. It works. My biceps are feeling it. I would have never guessed that would hit my biceps that good. My back might be sore tomorrow, not sure about the chest yet. Nice and slow and high reps. I like it. lol actually carrying the barbell is probably what pumped up my biceps. I was vertically carrying it over to the door and back.

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Day 9: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD. 15 mins Paragon.

First thing is that I’m once again surprised by what I see in the mirror. After a carb day I look better. Like my midsection looks to be really tightening up. I can’t wait for another month or two after I get some pushups and pullups under my belt.

The bodybuilding. com forums are gone and I wanted to refresh on how to do a carb up day by the book. Well I couldn’t find that info anymore. I can tell you I’ve never been strict with my one weekly free day. And I get great results. All I could find was mostly people with bad attitudes saying you don’t need carbs and calling you names if you wanted a carb day, lol. This was me trying to refresh my keto info after 20 years of doing my research.

Went to pick up some stuff at the big box store today. It was nice to see that my anxiety has gone way down. Getting glimpses of what it’s like to have almost zero anxiety around people. So yea, by the end of the year I think it’s certainly possible to be living at the lowest levels of anxiety in my life. That really opens life up for me. So I think I’m still on the right stack for me. Just at times I wish I was on other titles, but I know they’re not necessary. I’ve had periods in my life when everything was clicking, and I hadn’t even tried any subliminals yet.

I think I’ve found my money bible. It’s a book called The Energy of Money. I’ve had it for like 15 years maybe. I had so much resistance back then that I just never got around to reading it. I even went to college during that time and got a massage therapy degree. Never did anything with it, that pesky anxiety held me back. Yet I made it through college despite it.

So the book has exercises, making lists to help you get clear. Your life’s intentions and your goals. I’m finding it extremely helpful. Since I’m not on Genesis or a wealth title, this will help me with the money side of things for sure. Not business, per se. Just more of getting clear on the whole subject of money and my goals and intentions.

I just read through one part and it covers SMART goals. I’m not a big fan of them, but it’s put in a way that I can utilize. Especially more practical for something like money. Like, one example was that I want to be happy is not a goal. It has to be specific. So the example instead is I want to learn scuba diving by next summer. Or, I want to buy a new house. Those are specific. I’ve never been a big fan of time constraints on goals, but for whatever reason this book is helping things click for me, I guess I’m just ready. It’s like I get to be a beginner again, but instead of having so much resistance I’m finally able to get some clarity and do the exercises.

I gotta get some resistance bands. I’m more into doing prehab/rehab nowadays. Always have a goal to get back to jumps and kettlebell ballistic movements. I’m redoing my training as if I’m a beginner. No ego, just really being mindful, preventing injury and working with a longevity mentality. I like the new mentality of training the body as a whole unit, instead of isolation. But prehab/rehab is definitely more isolation which is fine since I gotta rebuild a solid foundation focused on joint/ligament health.

Bare minimum my goal is to just be able to jump on the trampoline for 10 minutes a day for the lymph benefits.

evening:

I was driving earlier today when I went to the big box. I saw this guy, just like noticed him as I was driving and he was intimidated by me. So with some people I still have the intimidation vibes. But I was just appreciating my perspective without the anxiety. I mean just viewing life from, “me” without the worries. I was also able to read some body language cues, as I was shopping. Nice to have some clarity and have room for more awareness and resources.

These new 7mm knee sleeves are legit. I never bought them because I thought they were for like power lifters. But they got me thinking I could start doing knees over toes exercises again. But I will hold off. I am considering walking stairs though. I think the best solution is to start using the cardio glide first. Might try 5-10 minutes and see how things feel. I already walked 30 minutes today, no knee supports. But still going slow. My ligaments still feel like they’re acclimating to the rehab.

Actually I better stick to as is. My calves will need some massaging with the massage gun. Feels like they need some work. That also tells me I really need to focus on hamstrings, they may be a weakness. I haven’t been doing calves yet but I’ve been doing standing hamstring curls. Yet my upper calves are sore.

So I may have found one of my weak links, my hammies. I don’t have equipment at home to train them. So I guess I’ll be working on stability ball hamstring curls now. I’ve been wanting to add glute bridges in too, I guess I might have to.

End of night:

It seems there’s a learning curve on exercises you’ve never done. I have some tweaks to try. Flexing my tibs to deactivate my calf muscles on the standing hamstring curls, all hamstring curls actually. It was actually first day of standing hamstring curls. I’ve just always had in mind since Jr. high, my cousin’s dad had a bench and hamstring curl bench in his basement. Me and my cousin used to work out there and he said his dad said if you do hamstring curls your calves will get big.

If I could go back and retrain, I’d do things way different now. I’d hit more of the standing hip machine and hyperextensions for the back. Back then it was still more of a bodybuilding style training. Kettlebells hadn’t even come on the scene yet. There wasn’t all this athletic focus and training available yet before social media. I probably would have been better served doing basic compound lifts, and doing sprints and jumping rope, and calisthenics.

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Day 10: No listening.

I did 2 rounds of the beginner FT set before bed. Back felt good. So next week I’ll officially be starting over on FT from beginner to advanced which takes 6 weeks.

Still working through some feelings at times, but also feeling the LBFH today. It’s just a winning combo of LBFH and DRLD in my custom. In previous cycles this stuff would always make me want to be on Heartsong. But I didn’t have any desire to be on Heartsong this time. Just working through it.

I got some clarity on my knees. Right knee feeling normal today. Left knee some pain on the interior lateral side. It’s not painful as in injury painful, I wouldn’t say it’s super serious. Possible strain. So I’ll need to focus on adductors abductors in addition to the other stuff I’m doing. I’m doing some research for exercises for that kind of knee issue. Something I’ve been procrastinating on is self massage. So I’ll be doing that too.

It looks like basically I’ve been doing the right knee exercises. Just need to start working on those step downs again. And I’ll have to add the calves back in. So I should start the basic knees over toes exercises again.

Another cool thing that’s been happening is my intuition is there and seems to be coming back again. But it’s not like I know that I know, it’s more that after the fact I get confirmations. So I can practice awareness and trusting my thinking again. Like those nudges to do something or whatever. Either way I’ll get feedback and learn to fine tune things.

I’m definitely feeling more on the up and up today. I’m still confident my knees will just take time and proper training to get back to being pain and injury free. Still have that limit falling away of wanting to do too much. In many areas of my life I wanted to do too much. So it lead to things like overwhelm, inaction, and burnout.

Since I feel like I don’t have a choice at least with bringing my body back in shape. I have to be much more mindful, and slow down, focus on proper mechanics and listen to my body. So naturally, that means I have to tighten up my plan. Just do what’s necessary and not even concern myself with what lies ahead. I used to rush through mobility and my exercises so I could fit everything in. But that’s definitely not necessary.

Just ran to the store. Wasn’t clicking with people today. A little anxious. I’m more in the mood to get to my workout now. But now my humor and creativity is coming back since I’m procrastinating the workout. So work out time, lol.

Evening:

My libido kicked in for the past couple hours. In the past it would get me wanting to be on a seduction title, not this time.

My knee pain is gone. I decided to try some knees over toes exercises. Just greatly modified with reduced range of motion for 25 reps each. There’s a single leg step down movement. I just did it on flat ground with both legs together instead of single leg, with a small range of motion for slow reps. Then there’s a knees over toes lunge. I sat on my exercise ball and used both legs instead. I could still get that kind of range of motion of the thighs touching the calves, but really small range of motion for 25 reps. No more knee pain. I’ll still do the other stuff since I’m not doing full range of motion squats or lunges yet.

My love of exercise has really come back. I think before I got set back I was just trying to do too much. Now I’m more focused and moving in the right direction again. I can see results and feel them. I’m probably getting more benefit slowing down and being more mindful as well. Really mastering movements.

[ABC333]

Day 11: 30 seconds Paragon. 5 mins LBFH/DRLD custom

I’m up late so I haven’t slept yet. I decided to do my pushups and pullups before bed. Maybe I’ll need to do those before work instead. I also did my stretching after work. Not a big deal being up late, but I like waking up earlier in the day.

The wall pushups actually had my triceps on fire today. My biceps are feeling it too, and it turns out it is from the standing pulls, whatever they’re called. So maybe I won’t progress as fast as I thought. I’ll have to build endurance, to be able to hit the progression standards. I think the current plan is going to build more of a swimmer’s body. Which is fine, I don’t want to add muscle and weight. I always want to get back to strength training but I know it takes more recovery, and so I like being strong but I never found the balance to also maintain the other aspects of fitness that I wanted to.

I’ll probably have more endurance than I ever have this summer though. So I’ll get a new experience of what that’s like. It’ll be good because I think it’ll really help get my elbows in knees back to being able to do kettlebell workouts. Fixing those weak points right now.

I think I’m on the right track though, I would like to do boxing training. That’s definitely more endurance and also speed and explosive stuff.

Afternoon: I’m feeling like I want to nap but I lay down and nope that’s not what I want to do. Then I remembered I was up late and woke up early.

I was just reading through this book, The Energy of Money. I got to the section on Identifying Your Inner Blocks to Progress.

It covers Driven Behavior. And I think that’s what I’ve experienced as far as doing too much. Like whether it’s learning to play guitar or whatever. I used to have a block that kept me thinking I needed to do too much. When getting more simple is the ticket.

"In the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche writes that our driven behavior is a type of active laziness that “consists of cramming our lives with compulsory activity, so that there is no time at all to confront the real issues. Our lives seem to live us, to possess their own bizarre momentum, to carry us away. In the end we feel we have no choice or control over them.”

" Your experience of an abundant life is the sum of your authentic choices minus the sum of your driven behavior. "

Self Note: Next cycle is 6 Paragon and 4 LBFH/DRLD custom.

Kind of considering running Survival Instinct next cycle instead of the custom. I’d like to fast track any healing and health concerns. If a new SI were to drop, definitely would be running that.

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Day 12: No listening.

Sometimes when I go to bed and I know sleep isn’t gonna happen very easily. I sometimes will just start releasing/letting go instead. I figure it’s a better use of my time. Last night was one of those nights. I don’t know how long it was but maybe 30mins to an hour. I had like this break through. I was releasing on self love. Now it’s like it’s there and I don’t have to maintain it. Just another little uplevel.

But I woke up tired, still tired and releasing isn’t going so great. It’s probably a better day for meditation. I probably didn’t get as much sleep as I like. But I didn’t keep track of how long I slept. It was so cold last night too, I think I got a headache from that but it didn’t bother me. I feel like napping today. But that’s not happening. I’d say maybe the state akin to sleep work would be better for me today. Though just for rest benefits since I haven’t mastered holding in mind or visualizing what I want. I’d say I have to probably do more releasing work on what do I want to have, be or do? And get clear.

I have some pre-workout samples and this one always gets high praise. So I was planning to try it today, perfect day for it. I looked at the ingredients, 350 mg of caffeine. So I said nevermind. I’ll take the 200mg pre-workout instead. I’ve never felt like I want to workout on 350mg caffeine. In fact I don’t wanna work out on that until it wears off a little. lol.

This book The Energy of Money is soo good. I read some more on the chapter of Driven Behavior, and flipped ahead to see what’s coming. For what ever reason it’s just clicking. Really good stuff. It’s more about living your Life’s Intentions and Goals and the removing blocks to that section is great. I will have to revisit it when I get to the wealth titles for sure. But I plan on going through it multiple times to let it really sink in.

I also like how as we grow, we can revisit books, movies, people, whatever. And find different layers to it. Like when we remove some of our baggage it can be a whole new experience. The first time you go through something you can be so sure it’s this, and then you go through it after some growth and expansion and it’s like wow, I really was seeing it through my own filters at that time.

End of night:

Well after the pre-workout I felt a whole lot better. I was even feeling grounded through most of the evening. Then I drove to the gas station to pick something up after dinner. A super slow car was ahead of me and anger came up. But it passed after a few minutes, forgot about it. Then sometime later when it was time to go to work I was in my feels again.

That little breakthrough I had last night brought me more conscious, more light. Thus now I can see more in the shadows. Like I got a higher powered bulb in my flashlight.

I got to work and at one of the places beside my building. These two guys were taking trash out. I dunno how but like sometimes you can just tell what kind of people they are. I wasn’t trying to judge just mind my own business as usual. But of course one of them was the hyena type. I swear these guys are out there who are like cartoon characters. I call them the criminal types. Certainly not criminal masterminds, more of the shit head variety. Of course they’ll laugh at you and talk about you, that kind of nonsense.

Then I got to the door and the lock has always been tough. They even changed it once and I got a new key. Still gotta force the key in. Well, my key got stuck so I had to stand out there longer than I would have liked. So I left the key in the door, got my equipment and stuff in the door. Got set up and came back so I could work with it without an audience. I did get the key out.

I’m definitely thinking to change gears back to the Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom. It has more of an edge to it but it’s probably going to work with Paragon quite well. I’ve got like code of loyalty, and the modules to keep that unwanted attention away. I hadn’t encountered that in quite some time.

It got me thinking, that my ideal stack is probably Primal, Chosen, I haven’t settled on that third title yet. I think I’d like to try Limitless in that third slot. The Will To Power would also be a candidate over Chosen.

I also had an idea that maybe I could use that custom module about using all energy. I forget the name. But being a bit of a sensitive, and intuitive type, I’d like to at least use that energy to stay focused instead of it almost like being used by it. Sometimes especially with the shitty types it’s almost like I mirror it back, but that’s not something I like. I haven’t gotten it to serve me in a helpful way that I’ve seen. Just makes me stay in solitude/hermit mode. So I could also look at Negative Energy Transmutation module. SI/Spartan custom also has eventide, I like the idea of that module. Kind of like keeping secrecy/silence from kind of a spiritual standpoint.

But I also have eye of the storm, foundation, and safety net in the LBFH/DRLD custom. So that should help me wipe out that kind of problem in time.

I think the Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom kind of plays on the same themes, just with that harder edge.

The pushups and pullups are already giving me that someone who works out look, in the upper body. Knees were back to normal, I wasn’t worried about them at all. I still don’t do the pivot and twisting like I tend to do. But I can still do the intuitive movements with my hands and arms. Like dropping things switching hands, catching things and I couldn’t think about it or teach it. Just like natural stuff that comes from being in the flow. Just things you start doing when you do something for so long you just don’t think about it kind of stuff. Maybe like one of those uhh, stir fry chefs or fancy bar tenders. I couldn’t do that stuff because I’ve never done it, I’m not familiar with their tools.

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Day 13: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD custom. 15 mins Paragon.

Man, sometimes I still really wish I had a seduction title on board. But if I do change titles, I’ll have to go for the SI/Spartan custom again for 4 cycles. Hopefully, that’d have my body back in tip top shape.

My left knee hamstring tendon has a little pain today. So I’m gonna have to research how to work those hamstring tendons. Probably some type of isometric exercises.

My LBFH/DRLD seems to be a 3 cycle title. Last time I used it I only did 3 cycles I think. Now I’m feeling like it’s time to switch it out after 3 cycles. Maybe it’s that DRLD component.

My new plan is to stop LBFH/DRLD after this cycle. Test out Phoenix for one cycle. I don’t think that’s a long term title either, like DRLD, but great in short spurts. Then after a cycle of Phoenix I’ll be back to my Aegis: Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom. I still haven’t updated the Spartan core because I’m holding out for Survival Instinct updated core.

It looks like the best hamstring exercises are still the ones I haven’t started doing! Glute Bridges and Exercise Ball Hamstring curls.

Evening Update:

Off and on in my feels again. Planning to run Phoenix next cycle at 30 seconds. I’m thinking of it like the janitor. It’s gonna come in and mop things up a bit.

I think I’ll stick with LBFH/DRLD custom. I’ll take the view of when the going gets tough, the tough get going. But it’s more like when the going gets tough, the going gets good. 1 more cycle will give me 4 cycles which is my standard minimum for a title.

I think I might’ve found out what was the real cause of my extra bathroom trips. It might be because I was taking 1 tsp of cream of tartar. I was taking it for the potassium. But I found out I should maybe be taking 1/4 teaspoon a day. The package says 1tsp serving size is 20% rda potassium. So I thought that was fine. But I just learned that cream of tartar is sometimes used as a laxative. So I had some of those types of bowel movements today, so I thought I could use the extra potassium so I took another tsp. Then like an hour ago i took another tsp. Luckily I also took baking soda pre workout and I just took some more baking soda an hour ago. After learning that 3 tsp of cream of tartar is a no-no.

I haven’t worked out yet and probably won’t. A little worried and have to watch myself to see if I have any symptoms which would mean I’d need to visit the ER. But I did have a big pizza meal today so I think that will help me out and prevent any problems with too much potassium. I’m also on keto so I don’t really eat much potassium in my diet, that’s also why I was supplementing the cream of tartar.

So now I learned something new.

What I found was that there’s no major toxicity with cream of tartar. But there are 2 cases they list of people using it as a laxative. One was like a 16 year old body builder who took 6 tablespoons to clean himself out. Another was a 32 year old man who took 6 tablespoons to clean himself out. They both spent like a day in the hospital and were fine after. Just needed IV’s and stuff.

So I’m thinking I’ll be fine, just a little scare and a wake up call to be more careful. I also have had high blood pressure in the past so generally always took like 1/4 teaspoon daily of some form of potassium. But that’s all I take it for.

Plus I didn’t take all 3 teaspoons of cream of tartar at once. So that should lower my chances of having to deal with a hospital visit. And so far I haven’t had anymore of the laxative effects either. I also had some brewer’s yeast earlier and got some fiber in too. I decided to do my mobility anyway. It’ll keep my mind busy rather than worrying.

[ABC333]

Day 14: no listening.

Before bed is was scrilling one of my social media feeds. Somebody was raving about this mineral supplement. Its from grass fed whey. So I look at the ingredients and it has 1000mg potassium. Which is 20% of your daily potassium, among other minerals in one scoop. They said they feel so good after taking it.

So for me I think it was safe to get 20% potassium daily just the form wasnt so great. 1 teaspoon of cream of tartar may give the laxative effect.

Have to split that up i to 1/4 tsp doses split up.

Still slightly in my feels but feeling more like it’s just temporary and part of the growth. This stuff still seems to be around the dating relationships theme. Probably the love modules and love without attachment still going deep.

I also see a few woman I really liked on social media. I could just tell they were gonna get with the wrong men. Now they’re both complaining about cheaters and liars, lol. So it’s still tracking that generally speaking, women are gonna go for the liars and cheaters.

So even if you’re not a liar or cheater you want to add more of that i to your personality if you want to get more woman. Simply playing the numbers game. I also do think sub club titles are great for improving your vibe to where you have the right vibe and you can still be more you.

I’m still holding on to the idea that live without attachment is the ticket. Like how they say when you don’t care, you get everything you want. Just kind of tricky to find that sweet spot.

I decided to do the knees over toes program last night. Tibs, calves then my regressed two legged versions of the single leg exercises. For the step downs i chose basically quarter squats. I did 11 back the left leg hamstring tendon wasnt happy. Had to stop. Then I did my two legged ball sitting flex range kind of rock backs. Hit 50 slow reps.

Today I’m going to add the glute bridges in after my FT sets.

So I think I got a good self entertaining vetting question to ask women. Have you ever been cheated on, or have you ever dated a liar or cheater? If she has I’ll just tell her it probably isn’t going to work with me. Because you have a track record, that’s what you respond to, even if you say you’ve changed and you don’t like it. I’m not a liar or cheater. You’re probably going to maybe cheat on me, or dump me, or get bored and cause unnecessary, at least to me, drama. And so for me I’m not interested in any of that. So I’m going to have to pass.

I decided to experiment with laying on the solid ground floor after workouts for time. On the days I don’t do the self traction unit. I heard someone say that it’s good to lay and sit on the floor. You might even get cracks in your back just laying on the floor. Well, I didn’t get cracks. After about three minutes I got TRE shakes in my legs for the rest of the 5 minutes. So it’ll be something I’ll continue doing. At the very least it seems to be helping release any physical tensions.

I sent this vid to the guy I was talking to. A bit complainy kind of guy. Well I sent him a video of this chick who got mentored by a millionaire. She talks about intuition and how it’s more important to build that self awareness to be able to listen to it. Rather than rely on the logical mind, since she claims that our logical minds are programmed to fail. It sounds to me like she’s describing that driven type behavior. Like I should do this or that and being busy, rather than doing the thing that is actually going to be most beneficial.

Anyway, come to find out that I found out that some people just like complaining. Of course most people may not agree with our worldviews. No matter what it is someone hears it from their perspective, so they’ll find an argument immediately. So I got to remember that. And remembered that yea, people like where they’re at even if they complain that they don’t. Then I came up this thing that went, the people who actually do their inner work tend to lose their friends. It’s actually pretty common from my experience and hearing others talk about it. Also that the doers are doing, and the non-doers are just talking shit. But it’s kind of like, everybody’s still doing what they love in a way. So it just keeps me on track because yea, what do I want? That’s what I can do something about. Not changing everyone else.

End of night:

First half of work was fine. I was just listening to my audiobook. Still hearing new things after 13 listens. I noticed last week that my mind would not consciously listen to things I’d already heard, and would bring me back to consciously listening to the parts I hadn’t really heard yet.

So I was hearing some new things and then I started thinking. The gears started turning, and I felt like I was getting insight. Then I realized that too, could possibly become an addiction. So I kind of dropped it. And then I wasn’t so much in the flow, but things went well anyway. Like I was more hoping to get done early but it’s not a big deal. I gotta work again tomorrow and that’s my longest day. So I still have moments of just being present without the static. But I did feel like any bout of recon had been handled. Until the next one, lol.

Feeling back to normal at work. I just don’t push it at work and can still move at the pace I need to.

I’m thinking as the weeks go on my workouts are going to be a lot tougher. My arms are looking bigger already, but I’m more excited that they’re toning up and I’m getting more of that definition in my muscles.

Between FT and progressing the pushups and pullups following the Convict Conditioning Programs, in 6 weeks that’s gonna be wild. I’m guessing I’ll be in as good of shape as I’ve ever been. Probably will be looking my best as well. But I think after 6 weeks I will definitely cut back the FT again. I’m hoping by then I’ll also be doing the full knees over toes basic exercises without regressions. Just could be really tough in about a month. If anything I’d slow down on the pushups and pullups to finish out the FT program.

[ABC333]

Day 15: 30 seconds Paragon, 5 mins LBFH/DRLD custom.

Since before bed last night, I’m in the feels about the ex again. lol. This am I’m once again thinking that a cycle with Phoenix is in order. I’m trying to power through with LBFH/DRLD custom. Because DRLD people report a sense of power, while Phoenix may have me soaking wet at times, but it’s worth it. I’ve already been on the custom for 3 cycles, I’ve never done Phoenix, so there’s that unknown factor. Could it be just what I need?

I think I will still aim to power through for 4 cycles of the custom. Then 1 cycle of Phoenix rebirth. Then back to Survival Instinct/Spartan, when my workouts will be most challenging.

Although if i look at it that way, I’d want to skip Phoenix and go straight to SI/Spartan custom. So, perhaps a 3 title stack with Phoenix. I might really want that boost of the updated Spartan store title during my Phoenix cycle. Phoenix, I’m anticipating to be challenging so I plan on only 30 seconds of it every other listening day.

I just saw a guy interview the solidcore lady in the street. She said she had haters but she doesn’t.care what other people think because those doing all that talking are the ones sitting on the sidelines. She also said her number one book that she reads every few months is How to Win Friends and Influence People. She sold her shares for $90 million, her shares of SolidCore.

The 5 mins of LBFH/DRLD custom seems to have pulled me back out of the rut again. Song of Joying it now.

I just got out of the shower and am really impressed with how my body is developing. I can’t wait for summer time. I wasn’t expecting much since I’m basically rebuilding my body from the ground up. The focus isn’t aesthetics but the wall pushups and standing pulls are really developing my upper body. I guess high reps was just what my body needed.

Evening update:

Work was okay. No worries about my knees or back. The last hour was a little bit of a grind. I attribute that to staying up really late again last night.

I know there’ll be a few grinding work days ahead once my workout volume increases. But it’ll make my work easier once I get through it. Overall a pretty good day, nothing much on my mind. It’s all just flowing like the clouds in the sky. Nothing really sticky.

End of night:

I was so tired after work, planned on going to bed early. But I did do my knees and pushups and pulls today. Everything felt good. I might just take things slow with the pushes and pulls. My pulls feel ready to add another set, but FT training is my priority starting tomorrow.

It’s also a form of mental training. With the pushes and pulls I need to remain mindful, present as I remember to count my reps. Counting to 50 and forgetting where you’re at a long the way, well it’s not ideal.

No knee pains at all today with any of my exercises. I hit all my reps there. My calves only needed one workout to bounce back to my old numbers. I think I’m not going to add weights either yet. FT week three is so tough, at least every other time I’ve gotten there. It requires mental toughness for sure. Take things slow but stay consistent is the name of the game for me.

Also I’m ending the night focused on my goals, not anything do with other people. I like that. I claim to not like drama yet, I’ve gotten caught up in it. My recon usually is about old situations with people, lol.

[ABC333]

Day 16: No listening.

I was going through my insta feed, looking at videos. Then I saw one of the fit chicks posting a pic of the cardio machines at the gym. It just got my juices going, like I just love working out. But rather than get up and do my walk, I just scrolled some more. Watched a vid for a couple minutes, and then started to scroll and said nope. And I got into action. Got up put my sweats and shoes on. Make this quick post and am gonna do my walk now.

So I think that’s one of those tricks. You feel the urge to do something, workout, whatever, so you just get up right then and get moving. For me it would be more busyholism, like workaholism. Just getting overwhelmed, thinking it’s everything or nothing. But after years of that, that’s just a limit and a blocker. The trick like they say is do the things now on your list. Most important at the top and work your way way down. Who cares if you don’t do the whole list, those most important things got done. For me it’s working out and taking care of my body since it’s a day off.

I’m almost jogging now. Just feels good man. Here’s how my 30 minute first walk of the day goes. I walk backwards for 10 minutes. I then walk laterally for ten minutes. I have a nice little area where I can get some steps in and then I gotta turn around and walk the other way. Then I walk normally for 10 minutes. It gets blood flow into the knees. Then I work those muscles of the inner and outer thighs. Then just normal walk. That also keeps it from getting boring.

I tried to talk to the family person who I’ve had hassles with in the past. Of course I wish she’d read How to Win Friends and Influence People. It seems like that would have helped me get along with people better in the world. I just tried to talk to her, small talk. And I guess she wasn’t in the mood to talk and turns back on her book with a kind of angry look on her face. ahahaha.

But I wasn’t upset, it was like, damn, maybe focusing on my goals really is the best thing. I mean I do like people, but there’s a lot of that around. People are in their own worlds anyway. I think that’s where the problem of me existing came about.

Like when kids are just kids but maybe the adults have their own stresses and worries and they don’t know how to deal with that besides take it out on the kids or tell them to be quiet and all that. Like other times just being me and minding my own business, say when I’ve had to work around people, not interact. Yet, they’d come off as they had a problem with me just existing.

Like, damn. I think a true educational system would be a lot different. We’d be required to read How To Win Friends And Influence people. Harmony would be high on priorities instead of the this group and that group and everybody against everybody kind of royal rumble it can seem like.

Either way I got laundry in. Gotta finish my workout and do some cleaning. Reading, relaxing, etc. So I’ve definitely got things to do anyway. lol.

Also a reminder, that even though I wasn’t talking about myself I gotta be better at talking what other people are interested in. So that might mean asking questions, but when someone is in their own world they may not want any interaction.

Oh I remember, I said no mail or paper today. Because it’s a holiday. The person said there won’t be any mail today because it’s a holiday. But they said it with certainty, and so it comes off as making me wrong. When the How to win friends way, might be to just agree with the statement. But if they’re cranky I guess it doesn’t matter, lol. That’s how it goes though, they’re more than happy to make me seem wrong even if they agree. But if I would speak that then I’m really wrong, ahahaha.

That’s also covered in the book. I gotta master it though. Haven’t had the insights yet. It’s that it was like a boss or something, and instead of using absolutes, you use softeners. The examples are old fashioned but instead of like saying certainly, absolutely, coming off as it is this way and that’s all there is too it. It’s more like approaching with the well I could be wrong, or it appears to me, at least in the moment, that…

Maybe there is no better way to communicate with some people though. It’s more about my own emotional mastery. Understanding that even though people are absolutely certain and everyone else is wrong, I can still get what I want and somehow get them happy to oblige. I think some of it really more applies to business interactions, rather than social interaction. It still seems that some people we just gotta minimize our time and interaction with. Rather than win people over who tend to drain us, we just refocus on our goals and priorities. We can still be personable with them but just keep it to a minimum because there’s no real benefit to us continuing to leak our energy by interacting with certain people.

Evening Updates:

Now I’m seriously mulling over changing my custom for Primal. I’ll keep Paragon all year, of course. Since things are going really well as far as bringing my body back into tippy top shape, I’m hearing the call to return to Primal.

For a summer stack, to me, one of the most appropriate titles would be some social/status title. Since I’m much more likely to be around more people in the summer. I would feel much more confident with a title such as Primal in the mix. It also doubles as potential seduction title, which tends to be also call to me at times.

Primal is said to have carry over to areas such as business. Die to the attributes it helps one develop and bring about. So I just might get back to Primal for the summer.

There’s this woman I used to be really into. Since she got a man and posted him on her socials. I lost my attraction for her. Every time I see her I’m just struck by how obvious it is to me, that all that magic and attraction that seemed to be there wasn’t her, it was me.

I’ll do one more cycle of LBFH/DRLD custom to make it 4 cycles. Then I’m going to ride out the whole summer on Primal. I think it’ll be great since I’m on this How To Win Friends and Influence People kick. Plus seduction, plus inner game. plus plus plus.

I gotta put the FT beginner official start at next week. I’m not quite there to 3 sets. I’m focusing on rep quality rather than trying to rush through the program as written. That’s the mistake I’ve made in the past. If if takes me 12 weeks to make it through, I’m okay with that.

Some of these programs, not everybody can do the beginner workout right off the bat. This program the beginner series calls for 3 sets. Well 2 sets is challenging to me yet. So I’m gonna give it one more week to see if officially reach beginner status next week.

Assertiveness, to me, seems like it’s a bit of a shield. That I’m not trying to be mean or overbearing. But I’m going to stay strong in myself. That I’m not going to be getting my feelings hurt or made to feel less than. In the past I’d just bounce back and going on trying to stay that nice, loving kind of vibe. I can go back to that with the right people or when I’m alone, but if I have to be assertive just due to other people’s nature, that’s cool too.

End of night:

I gotta say this time with LBFH/DRLD seems so long. With pretty much all of my other titles the cycles seemed to go by so fast. At least from what I remember. The first cycle or two went fast as usual, but this third one seems really long.

I’m almost wondering if I should just switch gears for a month with any other title.

I’m thinking a cycle of the new Genesis: The Art of Happiness and Joy just might be in order.

When that new Genesis Happiness and Joy title came out, I was like that’s great. I just thought I’d never have a use for it with LBFH and Love Bomb. But it seems like the perfect title for a one cycle “vacation.”

[ABC333]

Day 17: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD, 15 mins Paragon.

I’m curious to find out if my LBFH/DRLD custom loops will still be a mood booster as I finish out the cycle.

Ending this cycle feeling like things are a bit of a grind.

I guess I could also chalk that up to staying up later a few times a week.

Just getting more contrast at times, I suppose.

I do enjoy when the laughter type scripting kicks in. I find myself laughing out loud at funny stuff, at least a few times a day.

Genesis the art of happiness title will be lighter than my custom. But I’ll still get all my favorite parts.

I’m definitely still on that track of switching out the custom for one cycle before I restart the Primal path.

I got a 15 day sample of this joint supplement that comes with a cream too. The cream is just menthol, but it also has creatine in it, lol. My knees were a little sore today so instead of just letting it be, I put some cream on. I think it helps, I mean that’s what it’s for. I haven’t found a joint supplement that I feel makes a difference yet. So I might try this for 2 months, that’s what I like to give a supplement before I decide if it’s worth it or not. I also have gone a few days without my knee supports. I wear the straps to work but that’s about it lately.

Okay, so that blows me mind. This joint supplement is some special creatine. kre-celazine. It says it’s kre-alkalyn creatine bonded with fatty acids, and that’s all it is! Maybe I won’t buy it. I take 10 g regular old creatine already and krill oil, they’re just not bonded together.

I woke up early today because I had to keep an appointment. Now I’m having a low energy day. But overall I think LBFH/DRLD custom helps smooth things out. I’m still at 5 mins listening time and will finish out the cycle at 5 mins. I’ve had satisfactory results at this listening time. I started at 30 seconds for a cycle. Then I went to 3, now I’m at 5. Had results from all 3 listening times.

Feeling a little anxious, fear. Side effect of lacking sleep. Thinking about the Survival Instinct/Spartan Apex custom again. I saw some old not foes, but I’d put them in that category. I’m not the guy to talk about people or try and start trouble. These are some of those types who’ve seen me as the problem. Never said a thing to them or about them. But luckily they are not in my physical life anymore. Just the types I keep away from because there’s no place for them in my life.

I think Genesis The Art of Happiness will be really good for me. I’m looking forward to trying out that new title. It will just build on whatever growth has come about from LBFH/DRLD custom.

Then Primal will have me nice and grounded and not worried about rejection.

Did the knee workout and got really locked in. I like that. I’d like to carry that over to all areas of my life. The ability to be free from distractions in all situations. That’s in Aegis: Survival Instinct. I guess it’s possible I can call upon those attributes as I need them, being that I spent 12 cycles with that custom. Though, over a year ago.

End of night:

I have some more energy this evening. So maybe my body finally got the increased energy from my working out. I even forgot to take my small caffeine booster this evening.

I’m thinking I might just skip over Genesis The Art of Happiness and Joy, and go straight into Primal, next cycle.

If I really wanted to add something I could add in that third title at some point.

I’m feeling maybe a testosterone boost or something, lol. So I’m feeling ready for the masculinity aspect to be turned up again. Also feeling good at times, so I’d like to balance that feeling good and happiness with Primal. I like feeling good but in the past it doesn’t always come off as something people respect or even like, sadly. But I’m usually in hermit mode anyway.

I think I can say I’m really over whatever recon I was in. That first round was maybe just cognitive dissonance. Then tonight when some anxiety and old fear came up. It pretty much washed right through. I did my workout and I think that’s a big help, having a physical exercise regimen. The spiritual and/or awakened types, now they make a difference there. Anyway not to get off on a tangent, they say that a physical exercise routine will help keep you grounded in physical reality. You won’t get so carried away in the sort of ether or those lost in the cloud type spaces.

Now I’m feeling ready for another cycle with LBFH/DRLD custom. I feel good. But not overly joyous or elated. I’d say this is what I think normal should feel like. Sort of smooth sailing. I’m hoping this is a new baseline because I like it. No wanting or needing anything, yet doing what I need to do.

I had everything done and so I had like 2 hours before work. Time seemed to slow down but I realized that wasn’t even a problem. It’s nice to have things done and then time for nothing. When in the past it’s been putting things off and then not having enough time to do them. And no time for just relaxing because I knew I had things I wanted to get done.

Okay, now that I’m home and settling… I seem to have some desire for a friend or friends to just share with. Not necessarily a woman, but hey if I meet the right woman that’d be cool with me.

I did possibly have some sexual chemistry with this cashier lady. She’s new and I’ve only seen her once. It’s so cold that I wear my visor trapper hat. It takes away from eye contact but it’s not my priority when it’s cold anyway. But the first time I saw her I didn’t really see her, I just liked her vibes. Like a submissive good woman. Tonight she was working and I thought about small talking but I didn’t. I stopped myself from being my old nice guy self. Just kept it shut. Anyway she was grabbing something for me and she dropped it and a memory flashed in my mind. This woman I used to work with who was hot and we were both into each other. But she was married, one of those military marriages and being chivalrous I wasn’t going to mess with anyone’s woman. She left the state soon after because her husband was deploying. They got divorced not too long after. She came back to the job in a different department and acted like she didn’t know me for awhile. So it never happened.

Anyway, this woman dropped something. And it reminded me of that old situation where we knew we both liked each other and we were passing, she was on a different shift. She was coming and I was leaving and she got all droppy. Like dropping things and stuff, lol. So it reminded me of that. But I think this woman might be slightly older, and she’s like a local you might think conservative woman or something. Like not a typical hot chick but there’s still possibly some mutual chemistry. I just think it’s kinda funny. Not my normal type but vibe wise it’s like yea, I would be lots of fun.

To me that was kind of a Primal moment, the new situation. It was like oh yea, I’ve been here before. Then I just got relaxed and grounded instead of excited in anticipation. lol.

[ABC333]

Day 18: No listening.

I’m still back to really liking the LBFH/DRLD custom. I got one more cycle in me until it’s time to switch gears again.

I was looking in the mirror before work yesterday. I’m looking more muscular. I just have the body type that puts on mass easily. I was getting excited that I was gonna trim down and get this more dense muscle look. So I’m looking more spartan than a swimmer. I would still choose Spartan Apex over Legacy of Spartan if I went that route.

I think last night I did break free to experiencing more of my authentic self, some of that Dragon Reborn Limit Destroyer action.

Reading through the DRLD description now has me appreciating the LBFH/DRLD custom and even feeling good that I could take it to 6 cycles. I guess maybe I won’t plan so far ahead, when I say I’m with this title for the rest of the year that kind of kicks in grind mode at times. But when I consider how I’ve grown and progressed, and the challenges to overcome, staying with it just makes sense too.

I will test out 7 minutes next listen of LBFH/DRLD custom. I feel like I’ve reached a new plateau, not as in stuck, just a literal new plateau, a place to stand on. A new, higher view.

Yea, now I have some of that wishing I had friends coming up again. It’s better than hard timing over the ex though. I’m now kind of transmuting it into fuel to get into action if anything. Like workout is the first thing I wanna do instead of sit here in the feelings, I want to put it in action to something that helps me move forward with my goals, big or small.

Maybe finally unlocked that transmutation aspect in DRLD.

Lol yea kind of more stuff coming up of me wanting friends. I got a half hour to workout yet so I’m gonna have to do some letting go practice in the meantime. I don’t want to add anymore titles right now, but now considering sneaking in just a drop of Inner Circle.

2 scoops of pre-workout day. I was up late again. Had some gut cleansing effects. From my black walnut wormood tincture and possibly switching back to keto. Pizza on Friday, then I had my normal carb Sunday, and Monday I didn’t know it but I had some meatballs that had a high carb content which probably kept me from keto. So today possible keto flu or just really tired again. That’s one thing that keeps me on keto, I can handle one carb day a week but if I do more my body has to kind of restart over getting back to ketosis. I’ve been thinking about trying a carb breakfast in summer time. I like the idea of a more normal diet in summer and keto for winter.

Evening Update:

Just don’t have the drive today. So I did my 30 minute walk. I’ll do the FT session after dinner and then forearms for the elbow benefits. Then I gotta do the Personal Traction Unit before bed. Kinda have a headache yet. Definitely an off day, I don’t attribute it to recon though. More just a physical recovery day.

Okay so it’s called Personal Traction Assistant. I found the new version, which is standing. I picked up the original kneeling version from local fb marketplace. Was a great deal and now I think it just feels good to stretch out the back and help the nerves and even energy flow. Stamina InLine Traction Control System, if you want to look it up to see what it is. That’s the new standing version which I’ve never tried.

I was also considering that maybe I could change out Paragon after 6 cycles if I really wanted to go for Survival Instinct or Spartan Apex. I plan to run Paragon for a full 12 cycles but now, that seems so long. I think I’ve gotten over the hump with my physical build back plan. I’ve built up enough momentum that I might benefit more from SI or Spartan as the mindset switches from just getting back to normal and pain free, to upping my intensity with my workouts.

I’ve also got a huge appetite today.

End of Night:

Again, I’m thinking next cycle I’ll switch out Paragon for Spartan Apex store title. I just want to experience some of those mental benefits. I’ve been putting that title off since it came out. I have it in my previous custom, it’s just not the updated core yet.

I think it will continue some of the work of Paragon, but more focused on the fitness goals plus the mental boost. I’m just feeling it’s time to shake things up a little. It’ll also be more of that kind of masculine or at least warrior vibe, which I’m looking forward to trying on.

Also Spartan has scripting for strengthening those joints and ligaments which is one of my priorities. I definitely want to improve my walking gait and just get better movement again.

Walked for an hour today since it’s a day off. I wanted to keep my step count the same as my longest work days. Especially since that’s my only cardio besides working for now. I want to be able to walk stairs and hike this summer. I like to be in the outdoors and the terrain is of course not always smooth and you gotta be good with all the variables.

I completed the full 3 rounds of FT beginner sequence. I could still see myself taking 3 weeks per stage instead of the 2. It’s definitely a workout, feels good to break a sweat and be breathing heavy. I also took yesterday off from pushups and pulls. My intercostals, rib muscles were sore. I think it was the broom twists. I found out one of the old school body builders did a bit of a stomach vacuum during them. So I tried that 100 broom twists followed immediately by 100 side bends. I might cut the pushups and pulls to 2 days until I complete the FT program. I will probably appreciate the rest.

[ABC333]

Day 19: 30 seconds Paragon. 7 minutes LBFH/DRLD custom.

Still seem to be a lot more clear. A bit of a good mood. I feel like I unlocked more of my custom finally. Definitely keeping it awhile longer.

I’m still set on Spartan Apex store title for next cycle and stopping Paragon. I just feel like heading into spring and summer Spartan is the winner since I won’t be doing Primal for awhile. More of the masculine/alpha/warrior type vibe and mental benefits that will go beyond just working out. Some have even reported getting in touch with that sense of adventure.

I think a lot of those qualities have been brewing already and that was why I was looking at Primal again. Spartan is just more in line with my personal goals for the spring/summer. I’ll need that increased will power as my workouts get more challenging and I’ll still be getting everything else done.

I do have past evidence that my body can heal. When I was 8th grade I had a knee surgery. No ligament damage. It was reconstructive. I bought this jump higher program from a magazine ad.

Come to find out years later that many others also had knee damage from that program. It was high rep plyometrics, one of the few resources I had available to me for any kind of athletic training. I wish I had known better. The reps should have been way lower. I also should have built my base with squats and lunges instead of favoring the leg press machine. I should have been jumping rope and doing more sprints besides just sports practice.

But I remember the doctor being impressed with how quickly I regained mobility. I didn’t even do the physical therapy either. As I’ve gotten older and occasionally deal with back pain and knee pain, even elbows. I took on the mindset that since I’m older I need to just go for it as far as physical rehab. Now as much as I wanna be doing kettlebells and explosive stuff, I know building that base is the most important thing. I gotta be injury and pain free just for daily life!

I seem to be getting a hold on this “recon” that comes up. The stuff where oh I wish I had friends. But it seems to be my procrastination. My history of friends isn’t that we were working on goals or making progress. It was more we were just, now that I’m older I see it as just wasting time. Nothing wrong with that. It’s just that now as I sit down about to workout and instead of just getting to it, the oh I wish I had friends come up. Well if I had friends I probably wouldn’t be working out or being productive. So to me it seems to be a distraction program.

I have eye of the storm, foundation, and the merger of worlds modules in my lbfh/drld custom. I think that’s letting me see this habit and then it helps me transmute it with action from DRLD.

Also solitude module works in there to get me back on track without friends. Come to think of it, this is probably a recon/healing from Solitude Module as well.

Evening Updates:

When I woke up this morning I had some insight into my people dealings. I don’t remember details. As as the ladies go, I can see that I had too much nice guy nonsense when I actually did talk to the women I liked. So I was doing all the wrong things.

One of the big things was getting attached and being a pursuer. When the hot chicks liked me, I wasn’t actually talking to them or trying to get them to like me. I wasn’t trying to get something from them, because I didn’t want them. I tended to have my eyes on one woman. Now though I won’t waste my time and I certainly learned from it now.

I didn’t have to be a dick. But generally that would have been the simplest solution. Just be a dick with the ones you like. But it’s not even that. I’m just understanding the dynamics better. It was never about being a pick up artist either.

My knees are probably a month out from where I’d like to be. Not a big deal. Just stay consistent and time will pass. Don’t need to overdo anything. I just now realized my elbows have been pretty good too, so just keep doing what I’m doing there. Back is great. Started to do some back bend progressions. Just all standing and am going really slow with that. Progress, nonetheless.

I read through DRLD description again. It’s really a deeper and more profound title than I was assuming. As in the last few days I’m really getting a taste of the negative energy transmutation along with the emotional healing.

I just had some anger come up, but I have self awareness. More consciousness and self awareness and some of the more intense stuff has come up as of late. Nothing major. But anyway, I had some anger come up. So I started walking and then went into my mobility routine and at some point it was just gone. Back to feeling that clarity that I so enjoy and appreciate.

End of Night:

I had one of those moments where I wasn’t thinking about I just did it- after the fact I realized wait I was being a leader. Not of men. Of the woman. One of those situations where I think it sounds like I don’t know about that, that doesn’t sound like it would work.

Say you heard a guy say if you order for a woman at a restaurant, women like that. You know, when you take charge and just have the place and time for the date. It’s not like what you think kind of things. And when it came out for me I just took care of business in the moment and realized that’s exactly what I did.

Also got to work and my mind was silent. I really like that. It wasn’t even the wondering what I forgot or lost kind of things. It’s like you can just choose not to think. So I was just present, just kind of zen doing what I was doing. Then I started listening to my book and of course started thinking again. A few memories came to mind of where I actually did apply the principles from this book.

And I had only read it one time. So it’s just cool to see how you pick things up and your mind can be your ally. You don’t always have to plan things out, if you’re in the flow or just fully present things take care of themselves. Yet I’ve also been listening to this podcast where the guy says you need to have it all planned out, what you’re gonna say, how you’re gonna say it etc.

I don’t know how but I think I more apply that to learning something and then the best moments aren’t planned it just comes out that way. But that’s also the value in planning at least when you’re learning and understanding things. Then you can just be natural in the moment. I think true connection isn’t actually planned and it’s being fully in the moment.

[ABC333]

Day 20: No listening.

Kind of stepping into the unknown by switching to Spartan Apex next cycle. I plan to do 30 seconds.

I guess it’s just the stepping into slightly new territory. I’ve done Spartan Apex in a custom for 12 cycles. This will be my first run with the updated store title.

I’ll only run it for 30 seconds the first cycle. Since I don’t plan on taking an extended washout between titles.

Last night at work I noticed I was willing to hit more of the details. Where near the end I’d just want to get finished up. But if I saw any of those details that I would have previously skipped over I just took care of them. I’m still not pushing it at work but I don’t really need to either.

Afternoons:

I’m still surprised by how good of a workout I can get with wall pushups and standing bodyweight pulls.

My muscles are a bit sore today- from last night’s after work session. I decided to do the intermediate standard for the first time. It’s 25 reps for 2 sets on both exercises. I just did it circuit style no rest. The pace is so slow and that’s what is really working the muscles, and stabilizers, and tendons. I am looking forward to getting back to normal pushups without shoulder pain. So I think this is definitely a good way to build back to that. And I still get a great workout and muscle development.

I was previously just doing 1 set of 50 on each exercises, but decided hey I’ll do this program by the book because I don’t want to short myself. The advanced workout standard is 50 reps for 3 sets, and yea it might take me some time to get there. So it also builds some mental fortitude and mindfulness.

Spartan is going to be the right elixir on this next leg of my fitness journey for sure.

End of Night:

I guess I have a little fear of success, perhaps- coming up around switching over to Spartan Apex. Doing 6 cycles of Paragon simply for the sake of doing 6 cycles doesn’t move me. I’m just feeling that feeling when you face the unknown, even if it’s something you want. It’s that feeling of moving out of my comfort zone.

Seems that any remaining procrastination, knows that it’s on the chopping block. Since I’m going to switch over from Paragon to Spartan Apex.

My calves are sore but it actually feels good today. Not overly sore just enough to know that we’re making progress, and staying consistent but not overdoing it.

Spartan Apex thread hasn’t had much action since the initial spurt. Another title I’m on my own with. As in the past, maybe it’s a good thing. I only have my own experience to rely on.

[ABC333]

Day 21: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD custom. 15 mins Paragon.

Foundation and Eye of the Storm modules are still working with the wanting friends that comes up. It just came up. It was greatly diminished. As soon as it came up I got up and am going to begin my 30 minute walk. So it’s being turned into a good habit.

Haha! I just had my first random Spartan sync. I just checked my facebook. I noticed new faces in the people you may know section. I saw one that was a random with the name like Spartan O Negative or something. Some character dressed in like a hazmat suit with a machine gun. Why that kind of stuff shows up I don’t know, maybe a bot.

I previously had not seen anything Spartan like that since I was on Spartan! No random names or anything popping up. Possible pre-results synchronization.

Last night I was so bored at the idea of getting my steps in. Simple walking but I was doing it anyway. Then I remembered I have a lacrosse ball and I got it out. I started tossing it hand to hand while I was walking. After about five minutes I realized there are no rules. So I started bouncing it, it has the perfect bounce and size for that. I don’t have to run around and chase it. The only time I gotta go grab it is when I lose presence and get too much in the mind. It added just enough novelty that when my time was just about up, I started having fun and didn’t want to stop.

There’s a woman who’s popped up on my FB people you may know. She’s hot. I didn’t think I knew her. But now today I’m thinking it’s this chick I used to talk to back in like 2012-ish. I did all the right things but we just never got together. I forgot about her. Some years later I found out she was married moved out of state and had a kid from what I remember. So now she pops back up lives in the same city as me, is single. She’s like a physical therapist and fitness trainer now. I haven’t messaged her, I’m not in dating mode. I kinda just haven’t been even considering dating again at least as long as my money situation is not right.

So that seems like possible manifestations there. Especially since I’m switching over to Spartan for my fitness focus. I also wonder if my one dating type module long-range seduction could be at play. So the thing with her was it was fun and I wasn’t attached. Wasn’t a thing where we just kept on talking forever, it was like for a short time it was just fun and flirty or whatever. Then life happened. Now that she’s single and in the same city, maybe she remembers that one guy who was fun and not needy. lol I don’t know.

So if it is that same person I think it is, my mindset is just that I can’t mess up anything meant for me. That’s the approach I’m taking. Not gonna jump the gun and hey if it happens that’s cool.

Afternoonies:

Having a journal really helps. I keep mine here since it’s easiest. So I just go for it most of the time. Sometimes I’ll hold back certain thoughts or things. But it really helps out yourself, having a journal.

I may want to custom Spartan, just add those extra spices in there to make my perfect casserole, lol. I do plan for Spartan to be the rest of the year. At this time it makes most sense that I’ll always have a health/fitness title in the mix unless maybe I ever get to Emperor or something.

I would like to try true sell and maybe some charisma module in Spartan. Just to bridge the social/dating/wealth gaps.

One of the creators I watch is a guy who is pretty built and muscular. He talks about fitness dailies. Where he does basic exercises and his whole physique was built with those. But he never did traditional, optimized routines until recently. He would say if you want to bring up a body part you do a ten minute daily for 30 days. That’s like 10 minutes of one exercise every day. Like curls, or leg raises or shoulder press, whatever.

Yesterday I saw him say that when he first started training he just focused on endurance. It’ll help you in the future no matter what style of training you’re going for. So to me that seemed like another cool synchronicity for me. I just started my endurance focus and not worrying about anything else. Like that’s gonna be my base now. So it seems like things are kind of falling into place as far as coincidences and things lately.

End of Night:

I was going to say no updates. But then I thought a bit more. I’m feeling like life is good. Haven’t been overthinking at all tonight. Since this synchronicity has shown up in my sort of bubble, I’ve just been working on letting go of any feelings and attachments. For me, that’s number one. Clearing the runway.

So I don’t think it is the chick I was thinking of. She looks very similar though. Same first name. At least it stirred some memories of when I did everything right besides close with a hot chick. lol. Still coincidental that she’s a PT and fitness trainer.

[ABC333]

Day 1 of 5: No listening.

I haven’t made note but I seem to be slightly reconny at times, since bumping up to 7 minutes of the lbfh/drld custom.

Nothing too serious and I keep on and when it leaves its like it never happened. So that will keep me on my plan to taking Spartan slow. 30 seconds the first cycle. I probably won’t even consider adding more listening time of the custom this cycle.

Good Evenings:

My training is really helping me when I get to work. Not overly exhausted. Still tired but it’s definitely transferring over.

I was in my feels at work today. I think it’s just a side effect of being a bit tired, I mean like physically. Breaking a sweat and I just gotta keep going until I’m done. I usually take a 5 minute break before the last leg.

I also chalk up being in my feels to limits being destroyed. It’s not to the the point of crying, lol. But definitely in my feels. But it’s worth it and just part of the process.

I did end up messaging that woman before I left for work. Do I expect anything to come of it? Absolutely not! It’s more about taking action, I’m an action taking guy now. I go for what I desire and it’s not about getting what I want even. Just taking action. I’m taking on the abundance mindset. It’s not a big deal if I don’t get what I want, the action is what’s important. So if my other than conscious mind wants on board, it’s gonna make the things happen. Because now I go for it! Haha!

The night winds down:

I have been doing knees and pushups pullups on Sundays. I think I’m going to have to try Tuesday and Thursday only for pushups pullups. May try squeezing knees on the same days as FT for 3x a week. I need Saturday and Sunday for work only. I call those rest days even though I’m working. Definitely am feeling like Saturdays and Sundays are no workout days.

I think I’m pretty sure I’m going to make a 1 core custom with Spartan Apex. That’ll have to wait until maybe may though.

I’ve got my Spartan custom planned out. I was thinking it’s a mad scientist blend. But many of the modules would just fit in and build off Spartan. The only ones that look like they wouldn’t fit are like Focused Arousal, True Sell, Dragon Tongue, Charisma, and Deep Listening. But those just build out the Spartan to my well rounded custom that I’m ready to take for a spin. Just in a few months, lol.

Between the two customs I’d could see myself being happy with those, if I only had to go with two titles from here on out. They’ll definitely keep me busy for a year no problem.

[ABC333]

Day 2 of 5 no listening.

Riding that dynamic duo of LBFH/DRLD custom.

To me since the end of the third cycle it’s like the custom module, Joie De Vivre. Except it’s LBFH/DRLD.

"Enjoying life, loving your ambitions, having fun working towards your goals, walking your journey with joy. It is a great gift in life. Joie de Vivre helps you achieve this gift.

Similarities, differences, combinations:

Carpe Diem helps you become motivated from the very first moment you wake up through sheer drive, while Joie de Vivre does so by guiding you to realize that life is incredible and worth living.

Joie de Vivre will help you generally with enjoyment in life also, while Carpe Diem will develop within you a constant desire to excel.

Add both to have enjoyment with a powerful desire to achieve greatness."

It might seem like Carpe Diem light as well. The combo of LBFH/DRLD. I haven’t wanted to use Carpe Diem module because I never wanted to be nonstop. But I guess if it’s things I like doing it’s alright. Or things that just need to get done.

I’m feeling a general goodwill towards others as well.

The woman I messaged, hasn’t replied. I really don’t expect her to. lol.- Still some potential limits around dating the woman. But it was good to get a reminder that I have been able to do all the right things with hot women who are actually into me. I will say having the financial situation handled back then would have helped and definitely now as well. The chick from the past didn’t live in my city, but still like an hour away.

Another cashier chick at the store seems to have some level of attraction towards me. She might be closer to half my age though, in her 20’s I’d guess. I like her vibes though.

Good Evenings:

Yesterday I got my highest step count at work yet. We’re only talking 7K. Back in 2020 I was clocking like 20K steps at a job. I was still trying to workout and it was really tough. I don’t know how I was doing that.

Feeling a little lower energy today and would prefer to just rest. But when I think of starting my walk I kind of look forward to it, since now I’m bouncing the ball. lol It just has a novelty factor and maybe a slight fun factor since I’m not doing any sports these days. Keeps some sort of that youthful sense of play in the mix, which I think is important especially as we get older.

Also I still have the wanting to pick up the kettlebells again. But it’s best to just stick to the routine, it’s only going to get more challenging. So after that I’ll try out some kettlebells again. After the FT program is completed, then I’ll just use it as a warmup/maintenance thing for maybe a month and run through it again. That should keep the back issues at bay. I’ll probably just keep cycling through it.

I was sitting here not doing anything. I did my walk but haven’t done mobility. I was just sitting here and caught some of that wanting friends stuff coming up. Then realized yep, I still have to do this workout. Feeling like I’d rather be sleeping though. It does seem like it comes up when I’m getting too away from my goal of working out.

Good Nights:

I’ve gone through 3 or 4 revisions of my Spartan custom. I forgot I had worked out a rough draft with Paragon as a core.

This one is the final version. It’s more about adding on that fine tuned mindset, self-image and decision making, success, and a couple social modules to start moving out of hermit mode. Though I’ll always value that solitude at times.

I think my signature is to drop in 1 seduction module just because. I decided against steering it that route because the store titles are so good anyway. I’d rather pick a store title if I really wanted that focus.

[ABC333]

Day 3 of 5 no listening.

I was up all night until 7:30am. I didn’t take any late evening caffeine or anything. But I’m up about 6 hours of sleep. Feeling alright. Gotta work out and I’ll get that done because I anticipate that I’d probably need a nap before work later.

I think it was because I was so tired early. But I had to finish up FT training. I just stayed up past that wall and got the second wind I guess.

Man, it just feels so good lately. I am doing more taking care of things, as in getting things done. I’m feeling good about it.

In the past if I had I didn’t get much sleep, that’d mean extra anxiety and even crankiness. Today, none of that.

Mind is generally more quite. I still have occasional moments of anxiety, but it’s more what I’d say is just normal human experience. Not like where it’s all day. I remember in the past posting about these same kind of things over the year. But I’m feeling more at my best recently. As always I know there may come more challenges and situations but they’re temporary.

I really did put together the best custom for me with LBFH/DRLD. I made it with the intent to put in what I really needed rather than what I wanted.

Last night I had a few memories, long forgotten, brought up into conscious awareness. I didn’t need to do anything because they didn’t have much charge. But would have been some fear. I can just kind of see it for what it was and is.

The last few days I have just been focused on letting go of resistance. It’s like I can see and feel it now. So it’s less about doing some process just to get rid of it. It’s more that I see this is resistance and this is actually a feeling or emotion. So the processes I do work better for me now.

I think Merger of Worlds module really helps in the custom. Especially with DRLD.

“The Merger of Worlds: A module for bringing closer together your conscious and subconscious mind, allowing for faster execution of the subliminal and clearer communication between the two. You will find new abilities surfacing, a stronger intuition, and clearer vision of the things that are to come.”

LBFH Core
Path of Forgiveness
Solitude
Foundation
Eye of The Storm
Stonelike
Formless Clarity
Lion IV
Inner Voice
Safety Net
You Are Not Alone
Lifeblood Fable
Song of Joy
Depths of Love
Chosen of Venus
Love Without Attachment
Long-Range Seduction
Tyrant
The Merger of Worlds
DRLD Core

Today I’m also considering just bringing back LBFH/DRLD custom to 30 seconds. Next cycle I might just listen to Spartan and the custom at 30 seconds each, per listening day. That way I can increase listening time on both at the same time, to find my new sweet spot.

Good Nights:

I’d give myself a 100% rating as far as the knees and back go. Finally back to full form at least in daily activities. I’d like to bump up some cardio because that really helps when it comes to working. Especially the long weekend days. I will hold off on any jumping for maybe 2 weeks. Next week I might try doing step ups for some increased cardio benefits. Before the back and knee set backs I had it in mind that I wanted to start doing jumping jacks for cardio and endurance.

My mind was trying to get me to stick with Paragon for a little bit tonight. It was like since things are going so well why change anything? To me it’s still some of that fear of success. You know how when you make changes there’s the part of you that wants to keep the status quo, because that’s safe. It knows that.

[ABC333]

Day 4 of 5 no listening:

Was up about 2 hours later than I’d like to be again. 7 hours of sleep. Not feeling as good as yesterday. Probably a nap later.

Afternoonies:

I’m thinking I’ll pull back the custom to 3 minutes next cycle and go with 3 mins of Spartan. Will alternate the custom 3 mins one day and 30 seconds the next listening day.

I noticed lately that I’m starting to care more about my looks and appearance lately. It’s either some lingering Primal or just that increasing self love and perhaps Lifeblood Fable module- which is about increasing your reputation.

On Primal I bought some new shirts and a black leather blazer. I haven’t worn them much though. So between limit destroyer and foundation and eye of the storm modules, I guess we could work out some limits in regards to my appearance and looks. I have long hair and feel like it’s time to get it cut short again. I’ll wait until summer though. Also I have a scruffy patchy beard and felt like it’s time to shave it.

My max listening time with the custom seems to be 7 mins. 15 mins store title Paragon, didn’t appear to produce any noticeable recon above baseline.

My dealings with people are still very minimal. So if I had to deal with people more than I do, then 3 mins would probably be my top end listening time for the custom.

7 minutes of the custom seems to turn up the recon, I’d say that’s max level to where I’d want to be at. So it seems that LBFH/DRLD custom is pretty potent. I’m happy with the results but for me it’s a title to be respected. No jumping in for 15 minute loops yet. I hadn’t anticipated DRLD to be such a powerful title, especially after all my time spent previously with that healing focus.

Though, currently as far as supplementary healing titles, DRLD is my favorite.

I have been watching videos, too much if you ask me, on the scrolling apps. I’ve seen some guys talking about something, and lots of commenters saying this guy loves to hear himself talk.

Well, if they went to college they’d maybe have more understanding. To me, that comes from someone who’s gone through college. Where they will be like you have to write so many words. The brevity is not going to cut it in college. At the same time I think listening isn’t a highly sought out skill either. As they say our attention spans have gone way done with the advent of social media.

As far as myself, I always wanted to be a writer. So many rules that I got overwhelmed. Lately I’ve seen my ability to see and edit things increasing. I’ve certainly got a long ways to go but writing is not my focus anymore. I just journal and so the point is more free flow. But as time has gone on it does help me have a better eye for cleaning up and at the same time not really worrying about it either. I’m not getting graded.

I still haven’t really come online again as far as a direction for wealth creation. It really is still a fitness focus and just becoming someone who gets things done. Like those little daily things around the house or whatever.

But that is in DRLD, clarifying and going after your goals. So I am still moving forward and growing with DRLD.

Good Nights:

I am still tweaking my Spartan custom. I see a wealth module that I’d really like to try- The Worthiness Recalibration. It’s from the new EOG, but I think it’s the right touch for the custom I’m building. I could even consider using that module instead of Focused Arousal, which is my one wildcard module.

[ABC333]

Day 5 of 5 no listening.

New cycle tomorrow! Spartan store title and LBFH/DRLD custom.

I was at the store today. A cute chick walked by and we made eye contact and she smiled at me. She kept walking, so she probably has a bf.

I went to the dry cleaner and I haven’t been there since last year. There was this hot chick that I was looking forward to seeing again. Well, she wasn’t there. Maybe she doesn’t work there. I guess I’ll know when I pick up my dry cleaning. lol.

A little anxiety also. I think Spartan with it’s courage will really help me with that. But I was driving home and was feeling some anxiety but I just became aware that my body is pretty relaxed. Then I felt good again. Stonelike for the win. I was thinking it was interesting, it wasn’t about quieting the mind with intention or anything. Just noticing that my body was relaxed. So it’s an interesting module. I think it really helps with general low level anxiety for sure.

Afternoonies:

It turns out I might keep Paragon in the stack.

I was doing my back mobility. Finishing up and laying on my stomach. Got a pain my rib area. Now it slightly hurts at times, doesn’t feel like anything serious. It could be some kind of strain, I’ve never had that in the rib muscles.

I just read about somebody on the forum who had pulled an intercostal muscle or something, and it kept them form working out for quite a long time. I was thinking that would not be good at all. So now I might have a strain, very slight at this point. I’ll have a better idea tomorrow I think.

I guess I’ll take it as one of those course corrector moments and stick with Paragon for another cycle. Spartan can wait. It’s not officially spring yet.

I had a moment earlier in the day where I was kind of nostalgic about my short time on CWON. I’d like to revisit that title again some day. I think I did 3-4 cycles before my KB run.

I’m thinking a 2 day on 1 day off workout split might be better. But that means working out on my longer work days on the weekends occasionally. I might test it though, for the rest and recuperation benefits. I’ll still walk every week day.

I think it may come down to just being more in tune with my body and intuition rather than any set schedule. I think that’s the best of the best routes. And it’s just one of those things, how does one even get to that point? Have to be somewhat regimented and scheduled and planned with other areas of life it seems. I think the ideal for me would be just following my inner knowing. That’s a lot of the focus in my upcoming Spartan custom though.

Art of Trust is a new module but it’s tough to fit that one in after finally coming to what is probably my final product. Unless I swap out Courage Reclaimed, since courage is already part of Spartan’s whole thing.

Actually since I like to be active daily, I may need to incorporate some light movement on those off days. Maybe even like a simple tai chi practice. Or heck, even qigong. That way I still move but it’s more relaxed and gentle movement.

Good Nights:

A slight setback it seems. My back feels like I could use a chiropractic adjustment. So that means I’m doing the self traction unit tonight. I hadn’t done it for at least a week. But it was a good investment. It is passive and that’s another plus. But maybe it will keep me from a week off. Nothing major but it’s not an ideal situation. I’ve been doing all the daily mobility stuff, and it helped me get back, but now it seems like what set me slightly back. I should have taken a day off and just walked.

The rib strain is a rib joint strain I’m guessing. Where the rib cartilage attaches to the bone. It only bugs me when I am pushing chairs back in, pulling is fine.Just used my right arm to push all the chairs back in. Knees still feeling good. At least I can be walking daily if nothing else. I’m thinking I can still do my knee workouts if I’m unable to do everything else, if I have to.

[ABC333]

Day 1: 30 seconds LBFH/DRLD Custom. 3 Mins Spartan.

Cycle 4 LBFH/DRLD custom. Cycle 1 Spartan Apex.

Woke up no pain in the ribs. So it’s nothing too serious. Just maybe no pushing for another day or two.

My lower back is sore but that’s more from the traction session. It feels good besides for that slight soreness. I think I’ll be good there.

I’m going with Spartan today. I really want to get a taste of the mental benefits.

I still have Paragon on tap. If I gotta deal with some pain I can always do a loop of that instead of Spartan. I got 5 cycles of Paragon in.

Afternoonies:

I seem to be on a roll. The creativity and energy is flowing again. I guess I gotta keep up the 3x weekly sessions on the self traction. I forget I have Song of Joy module in a LBFH custom, so that means that aspect can get kind of supercharged at times. Definitely Song of Joy vibes, creativity and sense of fun are turned up right now.

I don’t have any creative endeavors or hobbies though. So I’ll just do my walk and see what comes up as far as working out today. I’m planning for the FT session. I’ve gone a couple days of not doing that. It’s so tough and I got caught up in trying to hit the reps and sets instead of focusing on quality reps. I think that’s the biggest thing for me, just do the quality reps. If it takes way longer to finish the program that’s fine, this is about longevity now.

Spartan is my next step. I’m really hoping that it’ll help to guide me better as far as listening to my body and getting me to work on what my body needs to be at it’s top level. I think it will do that.

lol. Daaaaaan. Talking to my buddy again and I’m in a fun mood. So of course I aint serious, but it still gets taken that way. Anything I say is filtered back out through his paradigm so it’s like damn. He’s really serious. Serious and victim mentality is a deadly combo, man. Welp, back to solitude module, I got to get my steps in.

The best solution seems to be go back to taking all joy from within. Over my years and people I’ve been around. I accepted everybody as they were. Something that seems to be what the spiritual say but I don’t wanna hang around the spiritual either. Everybody is basically a reality unto themselves. So we have all these realities everywhere.

In my experience with people it really is kind of like dating. I used to think you pick that one and that’s it. Whatever you gotta do to make it happen and work. That wasn’t right for me. People are generally still the same, and I probably don’t want anything besides the simple small talk niceties anyway. You probably have to go through a lot of them to find the right ones. I could also see that as a limiting belief. But take your wholeness from within, that solves a lot of those problems. If it happens great, if not that’s great too.

So there’s still a case for me to want to try out Inner Circle. But again I can still see my wanting to meet the right people or friends is just me distracting myself from my purpose, my goals.

I’m not saying people should be this way or that way, it would just be nice to meet some people on my frequency, so to speak. Yet I see it as possibly taking a lot of time and work, like dating.

Which reminds me. I think business relationships might actually be easier in some sense. You’re not obligated to hang out but at times you still have to collaborate or work with them. I’m sure there are those egos but I think those would be easier to deal with in business.

I think a more solitude based personal life is my ideal or even preferred. Although those happenstance cases of making real connections are always nice and welcome.

My thing with people is that I’m a bit weary yet. Held on too long in situations thinking they’d see reality, that I’m merely existing and doing my job like anyone else. I got a lot of haters and yea, I never talked about people but that’s all they did.

I wasn’t judgemental but they were. Like my whole thing was live and let live. Yet it was like my existence was not tolerated. I got mocked. Heck, I wouldn’t admit it but maybe even bullied. But I kept bouncing back and showing up. It didn’t get me anywhere.

Leaving got me back in touch with myself. Even some of that harmony and ease in life. It just appears that me being able to deal with people and be in those environments would be the easiest ticket to more money, friends, lovers etc.

Since physical health is my priority. I don’t even look at like I’m losing time to do what I want. For me that doesn’t even come in to play. Because all I have is now. And I’m working on that priority. That’s number 1 so that’s what I work on. That’s something I have a big improvement in this year- just getting things done.

I also seem to be needing to do TRE again. My body seems to have some stuff to shake off. Especially when I’m done with the foam roller. I finish with my neck just on the foam roller. I turn my head right and left a few times. Then I do like a nodding motion just go get those suboccipital muscles. After that my body always has a shake. I found out that those muscles can be something to stretch and they’re great for stress relief.

I do feel like I could use some sort of massage therapy or something like that in conjunction with normal working out. Especially since there are days when my body needs a day off from my normal mobility, which is light work so I thought it was something I could do every day. But walking is the daily thing that I don’t need to take days off from. I would like to find something gentle that’s not yoga but just some gentle movement for those off days.

Afternoons:

I did this standing/walking mobility routine then I did FT. Felt good afterwards. I did not hit my reps on the third round of FT but I did quality reps. And I felt good after I was done.

I’m gonna get more steps in and hit the forearms later.

I also came across this video about personality types. I used to be into the idea. They mentioned some different types based on the Chinese categories. Like by elements. Metal, fire etc. Well it didn’t go into detail but it said like some people are overthinkers, some are fun oriented etc. I just think I might need to read my sales book on personalities. One of the first sales books I ever got. Just never read it.

At the very least I’m probably not going to change people or break them of their paradigm, that’d be silly to think anyway. But what I can do is navigate their worlds better. I can see where I’m coming from and I can see that I’m on one side of the river and they’re on the other. So I can get in my boat and cross that river if I have a better understanding of personality types. Then through that I can apply the How To Win Friends and Influence People even better.

Day 1 I don’t have any obvious observations to say that that was Spartan just yet. But I do think it streamlines with my mindset and goals well enough that I might not notice it right away.

Good Evenings:

I have it back on the table to switch out the custom with Phoenix for one cycle. I would then resume the custom. That would be next cycle. I would like to get a taste of the Phoenix.

I guess I just want to try out that Phoenix version of healing. Limit Destroyer is great but even in the copy it says take breaks if you need too, lol. I’m still pushing through but dropping the listening time to 3 mins this cycle.

But at the same time, I kind of fear the Phoenix. I’d kind of be mixing the two with the washout effect. Genesis Art of Happiness hasn’t been calling to me again. It probably will, I’ve got a whole cycle left. Something that’s a little break is what I’m after. I could always just run LBFH store title without the DRLD customized if I need a DRLD break. Or I’ve also got regular Love Bomb which could be a nice change of focus.

I bet I’d like Alchemist Singularity, but for now I’m only planning for one cycle off the custom.

I’ll plan to go with store LBFH next cycle for a break from DRLD.