Reading your post this card appeared in my head instantly
- Personality annihilation, reconstruction of the person via Soul “I” sight and even the deeper occult meanings of: Universal deconstruction as the dream of the sleeping God is abolished by the Awakened God.
Thanks again man!
@SubliminalUser I think @anon2351792 has an interesting point. I’ve gone through times on DR when I feel emotionally disoriented. As in the meanings that I had for things have changed or just are gone. My sense of self has been altered. Things are either gone or redefined. I don’t know how else to explain it.
Thanks @anon2351792 for posting this!
You got this man. Everything is collapsing, but in a good way. Everyone’s mentioned that DR is bringing up stuff which is true. But you’re also systematically destroying all the false representations of the world you’ve been led to believe. That’s a scary thing.
Also the feeling of wanting to end it all. That’s a feeling of wanting to end what you currently experience in life. Not life itself. Our minds have trouble differentiating the two sometimes.
Those EMDR sessions stirred stuff up. Possibly things you weren’t ready to face and now your mind is pitching the “everything is falling apart, it’s hopeless” things your way to get you to stay in what it’s deemed safe. But you don’t want that comfort zone or safety. You were heading straight for that glass ceiling and bounced off of it and the rebound feels low. But you’ll get through this and you’ll be stronger for it.
You’ve got a whole community of support here of people that just want to see other’s grow as much as possible. Whatever you’re feeling or going through don’t hesitate to share it with us.
@SubliminalUser - will add to the encouragement of what others have said. And advice you to do something enjoyable to take your mind off what you are feeling. Have an icecream cone or 2. Watch a movie. Or even a tv series. Do anything that can help you unwind positively
Today went in a completely unexpected direction with how shockingly unproductive I was and caught by what arose due to Dragon Blood. After the dentist appointment, I came back home, drank some milk tea while watching a funny video, then decided I needed to walk more, as well as get out of the house—oh, how I wanted to get out of the house. So I drove to a park that was 20 minutes away and walked the entire length of that huge park (a few miles) and got back after sunset.
During the walk, I could only focus on what I had been feeling. And with me seeing some of the comments already posted here by then, I was glad to see that I’m not alone in this experience. Thanks, @RVconsultant for tagging everyone.
You’re right, @Brandon. It is just a feeling. I look at my life and objectively speaking it’s respectable. It’s not as if anything crazy happened in the 3D world recently. Sure some work has piled up and I had some regrets about not jumping into trading earlier, but those aren’t big problems. I’m sure these are things that will be overcome.
Thanks, and I know I didn’t come this far only to come this far.
Now, this is crazy. Throughout the day here are some phrases that were coming up in my thoughts:
That we are aligned on what’s happening shows that real stuff is going down internally!
This is spot on. When I was thinking about “ending it all” there was a part of me that thought, “do I ACTUALLY want to die physically?” That was hard to reconcile. This interpretation of “wanting to end what you currently experience in life” is exactly what I’m talking about, and I agree with that.
I underestimated the power of EMDR, I suppose. I read about it in The Body Keeps The Score and went straight to trying it out after finishing the relevant chapter, given the kinds of results people in the book got. Yes, during these sessions I did have quite a few thoughts and feelings. That EMDR combined with DR would trigger a reaction like this, though, was out of the imagination. That said, I’m very glad to have found tools that clearly and unambiguously does something for me.
Certainly. Having opened up this journal for ST2 I now see that it has already helped. I’m not quite sure what would’ve happened if I kept it to myself (like I did with ST1—a much quieter sub in comparison). Thanks for the encouragement.
Yea, so I’ve dropped expectations of being productive for the rest of the day. I’d say it’s time for me to relax and allow myself to focus on entertainment—something I’ve been withholding from myself for a long time in the pursuit of improving, healing, and changing.
@RVconsultant @Tobyone @Brandon @COWolfe @subliminalguy @anon2351792 @Fractal_Explorer @Lion
No matter how bad it feels it will pass, you might try to convince yourself in the moment that this is a life sentence or means something more serious, but that’s just part of you trying to protect yourself in a way that is not present to reality., and to the reality of change. Give yourself all the space and love you need, go do fun things, take a break from subs if you need, take a break from pressure on yourself for anything, watch comedy or something that lights you up.
If it’s recon it will get better, if something is coming up to be released, it will get better, if it’s a judgement on yourself or your life, the illusion of that will fall soon and it will get better.
:)
I’ve been getting this on ST 1. I’m realizing how much I don’t want life to continue in the way it’s going now. I’m assuming that this will translate into extreme motivation to change it at some point on this journey. For now, we must embrace the suck sometimes.
@SubliminalUser Have you tried going back to your Neville Goddard readings? You might gain some insights into your current situation.
Perhaps I am missing something here, but your tone in this thread seems to be different from the optimism I saw in Man for Himself.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing, people evolve and dis-integration and re-integration can be part of the evolutionary process. Our sense of self is just a continuity of conditioning (and if you ascribe to a soul/spirit element-that would be like an energetic blueprint for potential which ongoing impulses/magnets for certain experiences)-new subs can totally restructure that continuity or ‘challenge’ it, either case could lead to ‘not feeling good’ to being at a total loss- until the new intentions of the sub’s goal/scripting-reconcile or ‘make peace’ with one’s current sense of self.
I can only say that whoever thinks healing is nice has no clue how ugly it has to get until the realese is done.
Let’s say it this way
I wantet to die for 4 days on st1 at the beginning
I wantet to end my life a couple of time
But what I really wantet was to be free of this garbage energy and the views of: Life is bad
Now I want to love myself
ST1 fucked me so hard you woud not believing me, but it’s ok.
Now st 2 is golden
To be Reborn you have to die first
But Bro, push trough, what’s coming for you now is absolutely fantastic
Chin up Chest out
I ended the day with just 3 loops and will be going at least 2 days without listening. These 2 days are part of my regularly scheduled rest days.
I have no more regular listening pattern with DR.
First week st 2, 3 days on 3 off
2nd week, 5 on 2 off
3rd week, 3 on 2 off
Whatever feels right for you
@SubliminalUser Few weeks ago I wanted to die. I even called my father in the middle of the night because I wasn’t ok. Now I am stable.
My friend remember that is is temporary, you might need some external help. Or whatever to keep you moving forward. There are people caring for you, you are in a rough patch… things will change.
These are just some things I’ve been experiencing too. When I first started DR it seems so easy and I started to feel really confident and maybe a bit cocky. Lately it’s been a lot harder.
This is how I’ve been interpreting it because the meanings I used to assign things in my life have changed.
This is something we should all keep in mind. 
on dude!
Thank you for posting!
Thank you for your post!
Now I’m so tempted!
Thank you for this post!
Thanks for showing up here!
Thank you for your words!
