Day 11 ~ rest day
I had crazy dreams last night with one actually waking me up briefly. It was about my friend who was killed skateboarding. We were attending his funeral. He appears in my dreams from time to time with messages for me. I don’t recall the message as of yet.
I just enjoyed barefoot sun gazing just now.
Listening to sound bath music related to the root, solar plexus and throat chakras.
Intuitively I know that these 3 chakras are of great importance for me in this lifetime as a leader.
I need to feel safe, secure, confident, and courageous as I powerfully express myself to the world from a place of authenticity and truth.
I find the synergy of these chakras/frequencies works well for me.
Something to note from Phoenix:
My son’s school called to inform me of an injury from basketball. He may have fractured his middle finger. The old me would have jumped to the worst case scenario conclusion, but not anymore. I stayed poised and calm. I was able to get him in to our doctor and get an X-ray fast. I rubbed some medicinal salve on his finger before applying a sling. I snuck in some Reiki and asked a friend to send him some too.
A little voice in my head felt hesitant wanting to ask someone else to help put the sling on because I’ve never done that before. I had a story that following instructions wasn’t easy for me. I chose to try different and I accomplished that task successfully.
I’ve been noticing when I want to get into neurotic ocd mode with the physical body where I would scan for disease, but I usually don’t and find myself doing something enjoyable instead.
This was a learned behaviour growing up. That was a way to get attention. When bad things happened people were shown more love and care. 
I felt let out because I wasn’t having bad things happen to me.
My brother almost died from an asthma attack, my one sister got hit by a car and then years later was exposed to carbon monoxide, my baby sister almost died from something related to her organs being upside down at birth.
My mom had a mini stroke and partial paralysis when I was a toddler. My dad had a freak accident at work as well.
Many others died young or tragic. It became some sort go sick obsession.
What about me? (wtf?)
I’m grateful that I gained much greater awareness of what was running on autopilot for over 2 decades of my life.
Phoenix has helped me soften those blows so much more. I truly do feel I am transforming.
Maybe my dream of my friends funeral had something to do with all of this because his death also triggered neurotic behaviours to resurface back in 2016, which led me down a pretty rough path until 2020.
Either way, I love this sub!
Seductress:
My new skincare products came in yesterday. I did some research on the best way to apply the products in sequence.
I have been acknowledging my beauty more. Loving how perky and full my breasts have consistently been.
Stark Black
The stares continue out in public.
The views continue to grow.
Continuing to have more engagement on my socials.
Feeling much more confident.
🧙♂
