A Northern Power (Not Nice)

[Michel]

Inspired by the book Not Nice by Dr Aziz Gazipura

Starting again with a Sanguine/Elixir Ascension stack.

I’m going to give this stack at least until the end of the year. I’ve been switching subs in the hope that something will click and build. My previous journal hinted at the direction of travel, which was:

• Sanguine Elixir does the healing, calming and self love
• Ascension gives the core.

The book Not Nice essentially said that the opposite to Nice is Power.

I’ve given my life away to others in the hope that others will like me and not criticise, hurt and scar me too deeply. That strategy was successful for a short time. But now I have physical aches which doesn’t chime for a 40 year old.

Ascension is the sub I have the most experience with, even though other things got in the way - life changes. I also was full of trauma and didn’t have a roadmap to get out of it. Trauma healing worked in getting rid of a lot of the PTSD anxiety. But Ascension got me moved to another city, improve my work prospects, have a live in partner. So things are looking up.

Now this journal will help in keeping me focused on developing power.

But why not just use Khan again?

I need a solid foundation. Add to the Not Nice book I need power. Not over others, over self. To infuse myself with as much self-power as possible.

Let’s go.

[Michel]

Main Disc. Thread - Ascension ZP v2

I think this version is working up a treat because I’ve had an angry boss react to a jokey email sent at work and I did not once say sorry. I didn’t mean to not say sorry, however I also had in the back of my mind that this person (for such a minor offence) could go fuck themselves with a rusty stick. In fact I’ve had enough of everybody in my life swinging their members in my face telling me what to do in my life. Every time in the past where I didn’t stand up against unfair treatment, I get …

It was so predictable but Ascension really does have me angry at taking such a backseat in life, letting powerful others to decide what’s best for me, like a 6 year old child. I’m 40 and only just stepping into th shoes of a self directed adult without fear.

[Michel]

Main Disc. Thread - Ascension ZP v2

@Luther24 Person A = typical beta male Person B = alpha male Each of these people have an internal framework. They have subconscious belief systems. Person A: large amounts of emotional trauma, lack of self-love, low self-worth, subconsciously afraid of being masculine, sexual repression/unwellness etc. Person B: high self-love, high self-worth, unapologetically masculine, healthy expression of sexuality. Right now, I’m Person A and have been all my life, but the large amounts of t…

Dare I commit to AM until September 2024?

[ABC333]

Very similar to what I’ve been going after with my stack choices.

SI/Spartan custom for mindset and cool under pressure, removing negative people etc.

LBFH for the feel goods and self love. I’m also using DRLD. But definitely am considering Ascension and Sanguine Elixir in place of DRLD at some point.

[Michel]

A year is a long time to attempt to fix the traumatised beta male in me, and I’m not even sure if I can stick at it for long enough before recon sets in.

But let’s give it a go anyway.

Ascended Mogul custom (w/ Godlike Masculinity and modules including Ares)

First impressions:

• Overload from just one loop. Damn…
• Still having thoughts of telling people in charge of me to go fuck themselves.
• Feeling like I’ve arrived at “good enough” and now wanting to get from good to great.
• Not happy in my relationship, having to tip toe over girlfriend’s moods. She is quite dominant and possessive.
• Desire to plan big things to do with my art career, still in art correspondence school. Still have my teaching side gig.

Overall the driving seat is in the process of changing drivers. But it is a very long road ahead.

[SaintSovereign]

Miiiiicrrrooolooooops

[ksub]

@SaintSovereign

Miiiiicrrrooolooooops

@SaintSovereign : I ran a cycle of Genesis + RoM + DR: LD. All three at 15 minutes with no recon. I started the 5 day washout period being completely fine. Or so I thought… Then things started happening.
In a nutshell, I had to extend the washout period to 10 days.

I just started a new cycle of the same stack (with Ascension Chamber once a week). All track at 3 minutes.

Question: Is there a logical progression in the microloops strategy. Should I start with 1 min, then move on to 3 min, then to 5 and so on? Or am I good with 3 min for this whole cycle?

[Michel]

Some more results:

• feeling hornier than before, talking dirty with my partner, she was not impressed

• surging energy throughout my body, feels like I cannot control it.

• fear of other people has been largely nullified. What was I scared of? Their approval? Screw that.

• overload from the custom, now trying 30 second microloops

• at work I have this energetic no nonsense attitude which is contrary to my usual placid personality, finishing tasks with efficiency and accuracy. My head’s a lot clearer

Ascension - Godlike Masculinity is probably the most intense foundational combo for a recovering “beta male” there is.

[Geoff]

What’s your custom consist of bro?

I’m listening to mine with Ascension, Glm and LotS…1:30 seconds has been ok for me. You only have 2 Cores?

Glad it’s working well

[Michel]

Ascension, Godlike Masculinity and

ARES
Limiting people remover
Ebon Manoeuvre
Dragons Tongue
Courage Reclaimed
Manipulus
Divine Self Image
I AM
Emperor’s voice
Pride Unbroken
Inner voice
Fearsome
Boundary
Attachment Destroyer
Neg Energy Remover
Potentiatior
Februus

[ABC333]

I’ve been doing 3 mins of my Survival Instinct/Spartan custom. Definitely having more dreams and I’m thinking for me it might be the key to keeping that trailer effect action going, like what happens when you first start a new title, you get all these dreams and quick manifestations but it ends up tapering off on 15 mins.

[Geoff]

I was doing 3 and 5 mins but it wasn’t working that well. This week I ran 1:30, seems more noticeable. I’ll be doing 2 mins next week.

[ABC333]

Yea I thought 3 mins was like the minimum loop for a custom, not being a micro loop. But 3 mins seems to be pretty potent for sure. I’ve had my custom for 6 cycles now and so it’s not too much but definitely opens my mind to shorter listening times for my custom.

[Michel]

1/52

So @Luther24 was right with the healing and foundation two punch recommendation, because the Ascended Mogul custom is kicking in and establishing itself properly instead of having that temporary trailer effect neutered with trauma. Deal with the trauma first (subs and/or other means) then build the alpha.

Results:
Mogul

• Still got quite a bit of money and am saving by not spending it on stupid stuff. Putting aside some of the salary in investments
• Working long hours but not too tired, acing the tasks at hand. I’m more frustrated with the repetitive nature of the job, not earning more for my time spent. However I do have a side gig that has a higher salary.

Ascension

• feeling that powerful energy coursing through my body, got some aching pains to deal with.
• knowledge of needing to shape up by losing weight
  *walking and talking with more dominance. Have an attitude of “I’m here, make me move’”.
• looking more like my estranged father, but wanting to make my peace with him by visiting his grave.

Overall what an interesting week, lots of things to look forward to.

[RVconsultant]

@Michel

talking dirty with my partner, she was not impressed

Some times a partner might like it if they are aroused first.

Maybe first arousal, then dirty talk.

[RagnarLothbrok]

@RVconsultant

Some times a partner might like it if they are aroused first.

Maybe first arousal, then dirty talk

Can say from experience this is true

If i dirty talk to my gf when she is not aroused she wont like it the same way as if she was aroused

[Michel]

2/52

I guess the movie trailer effect is gone!

Do I feel as strong right now as in week 1? Nope. Inadequacy and self doubts come to the surface, I’m not as convincing now, like I cannot pull off the alpha act anymore.

C O N G R U E N C E

I also cannot cope with the intense masculine energy, like I cannot just sit in it, let it course through my body and not release it. The sight of younger female colleagues gets me going, which is not good.

Then I realised that I have bad impulse control, yes it’s hidden because I don’t drink or go wild in conventional ways, but it comes out in spending loads on nonsense and eating shit food.

Also being calm all the time. Why? I told off my partner for lashing out at me and it felt bloody great! I ain’t the lazy tosser she thinks I am and told her in no uncertain terms that. Of course there were lots of cuddling afterwards

To be fair this just might be a load of recon (yawning fits at work) I’m talking here, this alpha journey is done long term thing.

[Geoff]

@Michel

To be fair this just might be a load of recon (yawning fits at work)

Is this a recon symptom? I’ve had this the past week, overly tired and ridiculous yawning. Didn’t know where it came from then I see you mention it.

Thx

[Michel]

3/52

LBFH gave me a harsh recon episode and was akin to mass resistance - psychosomatic flu symptoms. I have recon to the eye balls, stress responses all over the place… for one reason.

What it uncovered was something disturbing that I’ve remembered a long time ago as a child. My parents have a habit of inappropriately exposing themselves and invading my space when I’m bathing/showering.

The recon manifested itself as a persistent cough (throat chakra) and I intuitively sensed that I needed to use my voice and say it out loud as disapproval of my parents behaviour. I kept saying to myself “I’ve been violated, I’ve been violated!”. It is not normal. For me that is a block to self love as someone else has crossed my boundaries in such an egregious way, but never once did I have the balls to call it out.

Ever since I said it out loud, recon around the throat has started to ease off. LBFH brought up that specific trauma then released it.

[Michel]

4/52

Hmmm, I can feel both products settling in and building up, however I can also see how far I have to go yet.

Ascension is very slowly building an inner core within and I feel like I can stand up for myself against my partner, however I don’t because the main feeling is still acquiescence - give in, agree with her, weakly use my voice in support of myself. In other words - beta male is still at 95%.

LBFH still hasn’t taught me to like myself or treat me any better, but the realisation that early family sexual abuse is totally wrong has taught me to at least forgive myself for being in that situation. There is a lot of events like that to come up to the surface and confront for good.

Seems like I’m starting at such a low base to most of society, so I’ll have to just be patient with the stack. It’s only 4 weeks in.