Day 17
3 min PS, 3 min PN.
Edit: was feeling kind of down/moody at the gym. Weird day. Maybe self esteem is low since I fapped twice yesterday…
Day 18 (washout day 1?)
Might begin my washout right now as I received my custom and am eager to run it.
Day 19 washout day 2
I realize that if I ever start to feel jealous when seeing couples, upon digging deeper, I realize the feeling I’m really feeling is eagerness to get my own shit together to get a girl. Like “why don’t I have my shit together like that guy? Is it his fault he has enough of his shit together to have a girl and I don’t?”, so it forces me to face myself.
Reminder: recently learned affirmations from Brian Tracy for anytime I feel upset about anything:
- I am responsible
- I like myself (and I am responsible)
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Day 21 washout day 4
Good way to find out if you actually are attracted to a girl or if it’s jut your ego needing validation: can you/do you masturbate while thinking about her?..
Day 1
2 min PS/PN custom. I think I was starting to get bloom effects from the washout, but was so eager to run this custom I only did 4 washout days (which I think is okay as I only ran 3 minute loops and did 17 days instead of 21 last cycle).
So the last cycle I was getting good results, I totally seemed to be getting that “Instant Spark” effect when looking at women (which surprisingly I don’t think I got as much with WB/SSX), but I wasn’t feeling motivated to approach so I put Breaking the Cycle and Panther in this custom. But yeah PS/PN seems like a powerful combo.
I think results started to wane a bit when I randomly threw in a loop of IC and maybe BDLM, or it could’ve just been that the processing queue was piling up, not sure.
Edit: so far, immediate recon, feel irritable etc.
Day 3
30 sec custom. From the last loop, a fair amount of recon but lots of results and inner realizations which I’ve written down in a personal journal.
Day 4 rest
Definitely feel better with the 30 second loop. The 2 minute one had me a little foggy headed and irritable. Woke up tired today after a full night’s sleep, indication of processing.
Day 5
30 sec PS/PN custom. Woke up very tired again today. Talked with a pretty Latina girl yesterday after the gym.
This feels like a strong custom, might even do 3 days between loops.
Day 7 extra rest
Taking an extra rest day cuz woke up tired.
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I wrote this a couple months ago and now totally disagree with it. The things that set the feelings off matter more than anything, specifically the meanings/beliefs that one attaches to them whether knowingly or unknowingly. Change the meaning, change the resultant feeling. The ability to do this is in our control (but most people never know or learn this). In other words, we really can choose anything to mean whatever we want it to mean because nothing has objective meaning and there’s no getting around that. It is a literal fact. Nothing has objective meaning, nothing will ever have objective meaning, and nothing has ever had objective meaning. I believe the first step to really freeing oneself is to constantly remind oneself of this until it becomes second nature (really just deprogramming all the meanings one has knowingly or unknowingly attached to things).
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Day 9
1 min custom.
Day 11
1:30 PS/PN custom. Didn’t wake up tired today 
Day 13 extra rest
Was moody today, but things went pretty well.
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Day 15
30 sec custom. I might start a plan to do 3 direct “approaches” and 3 indirect ones everyday.
Day 16 rest
Been very irritable today. Not much attraction that I’ve seen, feeling needy, etc. Surprisingly high recon with this custom. I suspect it’s due to one or two of the modules (I’m guessing Breaking the Pattern and/or Omnidimensional, not sure though). I might even order another custom with some of the modules switched out. Honestly I think I’m getting more recon with this custom than my WB/SSX custom.
Edit: as day went on, started to feel better. Went to a couple yoga classes, then gym, approached one girl at the gym who was very receptive and asking me questions etc. but I quickly ejected myself just because I felt a bit uncomfortable as there were guys around watching I think (should’ve included Rogue in the custom -_-). Didn’t get her name or anything.
Day 17
30 sec PS/PN custom.
Day 18 rest
Another kinda moody day, however while at the gym, I was feeling kinda needy/jealous/weird (which I’ve been feeling a lot off and on with this cycle), but I had kind of a massive epiphany: I’m not looking for anything serious relationship-wise, so what’s there to even be jealous about? I might’ve had this epiphany somewhere here before. Either way, after that I was actually just enjoying all the women around me and being turned on by them…
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Did you get this recon on PN out of a custom?
I feel like it is a title that will give you recon if you don’t have an outlet for it
I mean that as my general experience on it, not on how the title works because it is a really good title
Hmm no I don’t think so, the recon from PN in the custom is more intense I believe.
Hmm well if it’s any consolation I do think it changed me quite a bit after I worked through it and it’s recon
Mostly around insecurities and hang ups I had
I think there’s more to that title than just the sexual act