A More Lovable James Bond :>

Journals - Major Programs
#201

Day 1

2:30 min LB, okay so I started today :wink: Definitely feel kinda annoyed/irritable, hard to tell if it’s recon or just annoyance at my day. At a yoga class today there was a girl in the class who I kinda liked, like she reminded me of a girl version of me (as weird as that sounds), like same skin tone, hair color, vibe… like I think we would be a good looking couple. I feel like she might’ve felt the same, we exchanged glances a few times, BUT I didn’t talk to her or anything, wasn’t in the mood honestly because I was tired from the yoga classes and hungry.

Edit: also the empathy thing is there still, it’s awesome to feel happy for people instead of envious, or bad for people instead of apathetic. And yeah just realizing everyone has their own problems no matter how things look on the surface.

#202

Day 2 rest

#203

Day 3

2:30 min Sanguine, 2:30 min Primal, 1 min AC.

#204

Day 4 rest

Yeah, so I find myself automatically flirting and being social with this stack. Anyone who wants those two things, I recommend this stack. Like I can just walk into a store and start talking/flirting with a girl working there, and not even on purpose really lol. Like I still feel nervous and a bit self-conscious sometimes but can smooth it out.

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#205

Day 5

3 min LB.

Had a weird dream last night where I was in the backseat of a car as a teenager or something with a high school friend who was being mean and not wanting me to talk, like he just wanted silence. I felt kinda dejected, not mad or anything, just dejected. Recon dream maybe. During the day, not much recon so far.

Edit: okay so maybe some recon, was at the gym and feel a lil needy, I see guys with girlfriends and honestly yeah, I feel jealous. BUT, I realize I feel jealous not because they have girlfriends, but because they’re able to have girlfriends without feeling guilty/wrong about it. I have this concept of sexual immorality in me, and idk, yeah I’m jealous that other guys are able to do it and not feel guilty :man_shrugging: maybe Khan would be good for this?

I feel so pure right now, I haven’t so much as kissed a girl since Dec 2019, which is also when I stopped drinking. And I stopped watching porn a few weeks ago (though I sometimes masturbate but without porn). Honestly, like this makes me feel morally superior compared to the people around me, but maybe it’s just an illusion.

I realize nobody’s gonna reward me for being “morally pure”, like the city isn’t going to come together and give me an award + 1 billion dollars + 72 virgins or whatever. Then again, maybe if I feel good about it, I should continue it just for that, but then that jealousy will be there… :thinking:

#206

Day 6 rest

Did some errands around the house, was in good spirits. Later went to two yoga classes where I was receiving lots of attention, primarily from the ladies. Just friendly convos, lots of good vibes, positive attention is how I would put it.

#207

Day 7

3 min Sanguine, 3 min Primal.

Also, I realize the jealousy I feel for guys who have fwbs/girlfriends also comes from me envying them feeling entitled to it. I believe that’s another sticking point of mine, i.e. not feeling entitled to it.

#208

Day 8 rest

Went to gym today, was good, got some looks from ladies (I think lol), then went to Trader Joe’s had a fun little interaction with the cashiers. Didn’t do much today.

#209

Day 9

3 min LB, 1 min AC.

At Costco today got lots of friendly looks from women of all ages.

#211

Day 10

Went to gym, good vibes mostly.

#212

Day 11

3:30 min Sanguine, 3:30 min Primal

#213

Day 12 rest

#214

Day 13

3:30 min LB

#215

Day 14 rest

#216

Day 15

4 min Sanguine, 4 min Primal

#217

Day 16 rest

Went to gym, and in situations where I’d feel needy, I either feel it WAYYY less or not at all. I realize when you have self-love, being needy just doesn’t really happen because you just love yourself. Hard to explain. Like you’re content with whatever happens.

#218

Day 17

4 min LB, 1 min AC.

#219

Day 18 rest

I can’t believe this cycle is almost over o.0 felt quick, not much recon as far as I can tell. Excited to run a new custom for next cycle :sunglasses:

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#220

Day 19

4:30 min Sanguine, 4:30 Primal

#221

Day 20 rest

At gym actually sorta felt needy, I wonder if there’s more “approach” scripting starting around the 4:00+ mark of Primal :smirk: but yeah I had more of an urge to approach but didn’t so felt needy/recon lol. It’s like an itch that doesn’t get scratched unless you approach. I sort of did one but not really, but I feel like I should’ve done more. Even just approaching and talking to people in general seems to care of that “itch”.

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