Art is becoming much more sophistocated currently. Going into art theraphy and doodling.
Quite proud on what I create. Especial neurographic is nice to reprogram the subconcious.
I can relate to the lack of boundaries. It’s difficult because until true boundaries have been discovered within and embodied, and we enter into relationship with others in a balanced way, we put ourselves in situations where we entrust other people with a sensitive part of us, we project a part of us onto them because we feel understood and safe and intimately connected, but when that trust is inevitably broken (because it was not based on true balanced trust in oneself but depended on the other person to hold it for us) and that illusion of safety crashes, this part of us comes back to us like a painful boomerang and we get so confused how blind we were to trust this person and how come we opened ourselves so much in the first place, etc.
It’s part of the process and unfortunately our logical ego mind cannot really help us make sense of it there, only our practices, healing of our energetic bodies and proper recalibration, reopening energy flow to these parts of us, etc will make it that our perception of ourselves and other naturally changes and become balanced.
I’m going through the same in different ways and after some breakthroughs it felt so weird to see and feel myself around others so differently, I feel so much more grounded in myself and I feel the emotional distance between me and others that I never experienced this way before, it’s a little strange at first but then I realize this is how it’s supposed to be and then I rediscover a new way to be intimate with others which is more stable, empowered and internal, like I’m more free to take in and give away as much as I wish on an intimate emotional level, it’s hard to explain it’s so different and I have much more to heal and discover but all this to say I understand you so much with this difficult boundaries experiences.
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Thank you for that wonderful comment 
Do you have anything to share how to work on that?
Just went for a walk after that subliminal loop and it was crazy…I felt safe. Like properly safe. It felt like night and day. Like if normaly I am in “War mode” and now there is this abundance of peace and time and there is time to just walk through the city, look at mugs with cute animals and enjoy life. I feel like I am getting a taste of what true abundance, peace and happiness tastes and looks like.
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The only practical advice I can give is not directly related but just general advice, 3 categories:
-stop doing what you know for sure is bad for you
-reduce what you have mixed feelings about but still enjoy (like weed for ex, or certain relationships) until you are more clear where you stand on it
-do more of what you know for sure is good for you.
It’s very general but it’s a simple dynamic system.
And as you let go of the bad more new good things comes in and makes the middle categorie more clear so it becomes obvious if you have to let go or you can keep.
There can be a lot in the middle categorie and that’s ok, the more you increase the good stuff the more energy you get the more clear everything becomes.
We can’t force healing and breakthroughs but we can be smart and honest about what we are already aware of and follow more the things that increase our love and light in our life.
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Wow, thats a very simple yet (from what I can imagine) super effective system, thank you!
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The amount of healing I am going through today is ridicolous. I just realized how shame is no emotional bodily reaction…but started in the mind. I felt in my mind the start of a shame attack. How when my father called and I pressed it away because I dont want any contact anymore…all my mind got crazy about how to tell him this in a way where I dont hurt him and this and that and how to explain myself…this is shame…this whole wave…is shame. And I was abled to stop it for the first time in my life.
WOW
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Just got back from my Tai Chi course…simply wow…during training, it felt as if i was floating above my body and it was just my phsical manfestation and vessel. My body just moved and did most of the tai chi better than ever before. Meanwhile it felt like I was communicating on a spiritual level with the other participants.
On the way there I had a thought; Its very hard for me to build self worth, as most of what I do, I dont do. I just let go. And its hard to build selfworth of something that I dont do.
But after the Tai chi session and realizing: Noone of them can do the flow without the instuctor showing or telling them what to do…I realized: The fact that I can let go so well. The fruit of all my spiritual practices…thats my self worth. Thats MY achievement. Because this is true selfwort…worth taken for what I have become. I have become a vessel for energies to express themselves through. And for that I can take worth. Because this is also somethign that truly counts. At the same time this is nothing that can ever be compared with someone. And so it cant be talked down, it cant be taken from me. These are true spiritual gainz
Hmmm. Going for Ayahuasce retreat this weekend again.
Part of me is afraid. Not because of the medicine, but because a simple decision I made out of ethics and integrity: When they want me to sign a form for taking all responsibility. I will decline. I find its unethical. How can I take responsibility for something someone else prepared, someone else dosed and then for the experience I have in a vulnerable state in a place with other people? These are the things I pay people for to take care of. And its unethical if I pay for something and those dont take responsibility for any of their doings.
But I start to uncover that this is a big issue in the spiritual healing scene. There is no protection at all. No taking of responsibility. IN most places.
The peruvian curandero I also work with doesnt want any form to be signed. He takes responsibility.