Wow. Had a 15 second loop of my Custom yesterday and the process started is so strong. All this neurofeedback and having a regulated system finally makes it so that I can properly use and process subliminals. I am finally getting the required emotional capability to use them.
Okay wow. Having daily neurofeedback nowadays changed the way subliminals work for me completly.
Today I had a strong emotional release from my pelvic floor. Sitting on my balcony just playing with my pelvic floor muscles suddenly my dick got hard and my whole pelvic floor started shaking and heating up. after this I feel warmth in my pelivs. for the first time. It feels like a fire has been ignited.
Currently considering what to add to my custom. Choices are alchemist or a custom with physical shifting. Ill run just my custom for a week and see how I feel in a week about it.
I am starting to understand more and more what I am actually doing right now. Healing my system from being in 35 years in a chronic stress response…is something big. And as it looks it will need atleast 1 more year to really be able to be on “normal” energy level…but from a state of regulation rather than disregulation.
Also now with neurofeedback and ritalin, I am actually rewiring my whole brain. I decided to “microdose” ritalin instead of the regular dosing. Just to get access to the new neural pathways, without running into the danger of again my mind taking over my body and soul.
Other than that, I am starting to work with a new plant to heal my nervous system.
Maybe Ill give paragon another try and see what it does for me.
New GLM is tempting though. IDK if Earth or GLM would be a better core for that custom.
I am at a point where I feel like a blank canvas. And I want to lay a foundation for MY LIFE. My Custom
The Vessel of love
-) Love Bomb core
-) Khan Black 4 core
-) Synergy: Breath of the Storm
-) Synergy: Semper Praesens
-) Synergy: Divine Dominion
-) Synergy: Wonder of life
-) Synergy: Carpe Vitaem
-) Synergy: Harmonic Conflux
-) Gratitude Embodiment
-) Dopaminergic Revival
-) Inner voice
-) Mosaic
Definitley is great for that. But what to add?
This last loop of my Custom on Friday was intense…just 15 seconds activated the whole subliminal flow again. Currently everday is a new adventure. I am still withdrawing alot from everything.
Currently I have no plan for my life. Open Calender. In the past this would have been scary. Today its amazing.
I am realizing how much and how long it will take to rewire my brain. Most likely a year around. But then I will be someone completely different. I am allready starting to see the change in my personality that I went through in the last 2 months since I broke up with my gf.
Being alone for the first time in my life. Actually being alone. On some days I just exchange 1-2 messages with anyone. No social media, no forum. Just chatGPT to go through my provess. Though I want to reduce that a bit and experience more silence.
I really start to get to know myself from a completley new side.
It feels like my custom with KB LB and Synergy: Divine Dominion is amazing for this process.
Yesterday during a walk it felt like I crackjed the Zero Point code and found the zero point withhin me.
Its humbling to say. But I am still in the process of laying a foundation. Or actually. A better image is growing a tree. In the last 2 years of not working I cleaned the soil. In the last 6 months since I am doing Neurofeedback roots where growing out of the seed of my own personality for the first time. And since 2 months it feels like this seed is starting to sprout outside of the earth. I will need time and I take this time for me. This sense of urgency that I had all the time in the past was trauma response. Slow is steady and steady is fast. Nomore trying to run from the getgo.
Just had a reactivation of Wanted Black. Didnt listen to it for 2 Months.
it was intense. Especially as this Archetype was active when I was with my Ex-GF. a lot of pain was connected to it. It feels like I redeemed it from it and I can live that parts of myself again.
30 seconds of VoL Custom today. Lets see where it takes me.
Currently going very deep into my process. I start to realize that my spirit was stripped of my body and could never incarnate. Its coming slowly back. But its a back and forth process.
Today I learned that my body breathes but doesnt take in lifeforce energy with every breath. I have allready realized that there is a breach between my physical and emotional body. And i need to put them together again. Dunnoh how.
Today I got quite mad and started to shout with reality/god/great spirit/pachama that life is to hard currently and that I need help. Not ask for it humbly but demand it. It feels like I am being teached that I need to take and demand. As asking nicely from a lower position brought me into this fucking dilema I am in. Always being the nice guy. Always playing “by the rules”.