Yesterday I was out buying some stuff like new glasses for myself. Its pretty obvious how lighthearted and easy going I have become.
This can be partially because of my cycles of LBHX and also because of the heavy trauma resolved by DR so far.
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This was when I was overexposingā¦
Now check this next 2 weeks following the guidelines of what I know I can handle with good results.
Oct 31 - Nov 6
Nov 7 - Nov 12
Clear difference in my mood.
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Theres some interaction between some major blocks Ive cleared, deep changes Ive made with my stack and my girlfriend using Seductressā¦ We just cant stop wanting more intimacy.
Yes I chose that word purposefullyā¦ Its definitely not sex, its Making Loveā¦ but Making Love to create a bubble of Connection and Intimacy.
I was thinking this morning that I was never really into one night stands and that sort of thingā¦ I was always looking to fulfill something elseā¦ that feeling of being with somebody you love and loves you backā¦ the feeling of being with a person that puts all her barries downā¦ emotionally, physically, the whole deal and feeling comfortable enough to do the same.
Being fully naked in all formsā¦ The Merging of Two Naked Souls.
It just makes everything about sexuality way betterā¦ Indescribably good.
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Still thinking in the lines of my previous postā¦ I realize now why titles like Libertine dont really work between my girlfriend and meā¦ It kinds of puts us offā¦ while titles like Diamond and LBHX really makes us crave for intimacy.
We are both aligned in what we want and how we want it.
I see that when picking a sub for attraction its very important to understand that different personality types, different attachment styles, and different values regarding sexual expressionā¦ will yield different results when choosing the very same sub.
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Primal Seduction + Libertine will probably never get me a woman like my girlfriend and will never really click/align with my nature. If I were to use that stack I will probably experience turmoil and conflict in my relationship.
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Heartsong + LBHX + Diamond is way more aligned with my true nature therefore can only attract a woman that resonates with that very same essence.
Since my girlfriend has the very same essence we are getting increasingly more connected in deeper and deeper levels.
Thats not to say that we didnt have to work for itā¦ Removing all kinds of trauma and barriers builded over decades of living in this loving world. 
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Wow.
While it is sad itās also super powerful the releases you have!!
DR is kicking! Keep going!!!
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Ended up taking the whole weekend off subsā¦
Today I did:
Dragon Reborn X st2 12 minutes
EOG st1 6 minutes
Diamond 1 minute.
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Im sinking into a very negative/depressive stateā¦ lots of anger.
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It will be okay, brother. Felt something similar as well.
The other day my temper was flaring and I figured itās best to keep to myself, les I say something I might regret specially to those closest to me.
I was almost itching for a conflict that day, and aside from everyday toils and whatnot, I recognized I was in a state of recon.
I decided to cut this cycle short and take an early washout to prepare for an all ZPv2 stack to gauge it more accurately.
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Thank you!!
Yes Im in recon tooā¦ a tough oneā¦ I cant seem to find a place in the worldā¦ I feel so alien right now.
I feel deceivedā¦
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Same here and I know the feeling. At least youāre still young, more opportunities to change things around.
Itās not too late and the lessons and experiences youāre gaining now will just be an advantage as time goes by.
I wish I had the tools we have now at an earlier age, but alas I would have to make do with my cards at the moment.
If I could talk to myself that day when Iām feeling my lowest, Iād say take it easy, take a breather. I donāt need to deal with everything right now. Iām human, and I get tired too and Iām taking a break.
You got this. Youāre on your way to your best self, and with these tools and time on your side, the world will be your oyster.
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Thanks for thatā¦ I feel the same way. That keeps me going, also the knowing that this is the Dragon working.
you made me laughā¦ I dont know if 47 can be considered still young.
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I have a really strong headache for like 3 or 4 hours nowā¦ The anger I was feeling is gone and now I feel waves of sadness.
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Hahahaā¦ nah 47 isnāt old.
I should keep reminding myself I should stop thinking about my age. Itās a sore spot, and I always equate it with my lack of notable achievements. Iād be a happy 80 year old if only Iād have accomplished and achieved what I wanted to.
I think we had a similar conversation back then when I was the one on DR, and ST2 was kicking my behind.
I kicked out most casual relationships I accumulated on PS and just went hermit mode.
Good times! Hahaā¦
Anyway, weāre experienced now. We recognize when itās recon and weāre gonna be alright. Stay strong amigo
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I feel like you are in my headā¦ speaking out for meā¦
Its quite an ass kickerā¦ I feel like such a failure at life right now.
The good thing is that Ive finally commited to healing my money issues and Im using EOG st1.
Yes we are! Thanks again amigo.
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Headache is almost completely goneā¦ I still feel some emotional turmoil.
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This also applies to me right now.
One thing that crept up my mind ever since I am on the path to the āhigher realmsā is that you always need to be high vibe and chill and cool. But I am starting to feel, that sitting with ālower vibeā emotions and feeling them (not acting on them) is necessary to learn lessons. To understand yourself. To let go.
Sometimes one just needs to take time for himself a bit.
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Day#9
Im feeling a bit better todayā¦ just energetically drained and super thirsty since yesterday.
Ive been drinking water like crazy.
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Ive been reminiscing my teenage years a lot this morning, wondering what I would have done differently.
Almost every single decision is getting overwritten by something different. Its quite strange because its not a conscious processā¦ its just happening while I watch.
In essence I see myself taking better care of myself, focused on doing exercise, studying, getting the gurl I like back thenā¦ 0 alcohol and drugs, 0 interest in trying to fit and being cool.
It feel strangely good, since I aƱways had the idea of just accepting what I did because it was necessary for my growthā¦ but this changes in my head feels so organic.
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Its not every singe decision being different, its that my mind is picking up on the major decision that defined my history and changing thoseā¦ all the rest changes as a consequence.
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