A Journey of Self Love (DR st2-EOG st1)

Journals - Major Programs
#141

One night is not enough to form the clearest idea, but I did experience some interesting results.

Usually I wake up about 3 times per night to go to the bathroom and/or drink some water, then I have the habit of putting my headphones on and watch some videos to fall asleep again.
Last night I woke up twice, but for very unusual resons, once because there was a mild earthquake (5.2°), the other because my girlfriend had a very noisy nightmare so I confort her while she slept. Both times I fell asleep again without even thinking about my headphones or watching a video… immediately went back to sleep.

I crashed hard last night… I feel I spent a lot of time in deep sleep, I had a lot of dreams, they were very long, very vivid and meaningful.
Of course part of the dreams had to do with money (thanks EOG)

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#142

thank you for your detailed answer. then something has already changed. i am curious what you have to report after some time.

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#143

I just did some TRE to release tension from my back and Im all spaced out… stoned… lots of endorphines.

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#144

Well… the healing is kicking in hard!

I feel disappointed and angry at people, people want privileges and special treatment, but the first chance they get to not fulfill their commitment they take it. Worst thing they try to play victim when you ask them to honor their word… somehow they want to make you the bad person, the one thats not empathic to their needs. Fuck em!

My policy is full payment first, then I give them acess to my schedule.

Usually I use that guide as the bible, but I admit I made a mistake with 2 different people, because I know them for more than 12 years and thought their word was solid. This was 2 different clients, different services, even though they are friends between them.
Based on how long I know them I agreed to let them pay at the moment of the coaching session… both cancelled last minute, costing me a significant amount of money and losing my time.

They both try to guilt me for not being understanding with them… they both are coaches and they both have complaint to me in the past about how much they hate when people cancel their session last minute!! And Im supposed to be the one with no empathy?!

Anyways… I deleted their contacts from my phone and email. If they contact me again for business (I dont think they will after the conversation) full money upfront… otherwise no session.

Nobody else get any privileges from me… If someone wastes my time and cost me money… is dead to me.

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#145

This is very interesting… a couple of minutes after me venting in my previous post, I thought to myself “I feel betrayed” Immediately after my anger began slowly, but noticeable melting… all that was left behind was a burning sensation on my stomach.

The same burning sensation Ive gotten when I have experience gastritis.

This immediately took me back, the first time I got gastritis I was 21 and I felt betrayed by a cheating ex girflriend, the second time 4 years ago, I got gastritis after a period of time in which I felt betrayed and cheated by another ex.
Now Im feeling betrayed by a couple of clients which I held very close to me and cared about… I know them for over 12 years.

I guess this is what happens when you decide to stack DR and EOG :rofl:

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#146

how is it going so far with DR and EOG beside the cheating how do you feel since u started?

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#147

Do you listen to anything while sleeping to help with better sleep? not another sublim but something like rain or white noise?

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#148

I just started EOG yesterday, not much I can say about that… DR on the other side has been awesome.
Today on the other hand hasnt been a good day… Im processing a lot of negativity and Im really short tempered… The funny thing is that even though I feel bad… I feel good.

I have no idea if that makes any sense to you… I dont know how to make sense of it either… Its like Im letting go of a lot of negative emotions that are surfacing, but its all happening in a bubble of calmness…

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#149

no i don’t. something like that bothers me.

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#150

Day#3

1 full loop of:

Dragon Reborn st2
EOG st1

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#151

Turns out the other day I did Paragon Sleep ZP… I thought Ive done the experimental version, but I didnt.
Today I did 3 minutes of the Experimental version, lets see If I notice a difference.

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#152

The disappointment and anger I was experiencing yesterday is gone, today I feel sadenned about human nature.
What people are capable of doing for money, cheating, lying, fighting, betraying, killing and what not.

Whats clear to me is EOG is bringing a lot to the surface…

Cant wait for DR and EOG updates!!

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#153

Interesting, i went through these feelings before but wasnt on sublims

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#154

I keep doing my TRE routine once a day… Its pretty interesting that the tremors always appear in different parts of my spine, with different rhythms, different depths and speed.

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#155

Record keeping…

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#156

Day#4

Last night I had such an emotional and powerful dream that I woke up crying… even if I remember it now I still get my eyes wet and Im flooded with the same emotions.

I was sitting in some sort of roller coaster, to my left there was an ex girlfriend and to her left her ex husband. Between my chair and hers there was a little kid trapped and I was afraid he would get hurt when the roller coaster moved, I asked him and he told me he was ok, but I was really worried.
Suddenly I understood he was the son of my ex and her ex… the roller coaster moved and the little kid head began to get squeezed, so using all my strenght I freed him up… his parents seemed uncaring.

Now he is free and begins to play on top of us three pretending hes a worm or something… very happy, I begin to caress him because his parents didnt really do anything but look at me and I notice he has a malformation in the chest…

It all made sense to me, I became flooded by sadness for him, his weakness made me feel despair… I looked at the parents and I see how the mom is paralized by fear and the dad is desperate for help feeling overwhelmed… while the kid just wants love and attention.

Then it hit me deeper… they do love their son unconditionally, but they are so afraid that their boy is gonna suffer through life, so filled with fears that they are uncapable of showing love. At that very second I had a deep understanding of what unconditional love really is and felt it inside… I hugged him with all the love he will ever need.

I woke up crying… minutes later I came to the understanding that I am/was the kid in the dream… his parents represented my parents.

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The Psychonaut - Eudaemon
#157

About the dream… I dont have a malformation on my chest, but when I was about the same age as the kid in the dream I had many respiratory problems… bronchitis, pneumonia and asthma.
According to Traditional Chinese Medicine the emotions that are connected to lung sickness are grief amd sadness… the was a lot of grief and sadness released during the dream (still are)… there was a lot of grief and sadness in that time of my life.

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#158

Ive been having a rush of sexual energy for the last 30 minutes or so.
The most interesting thing is that the energy is flowing all the way up from the 1rst chakra to the 5th, 6th and 7th… very strongly.
Surely its related to the unblocking I had last night in my dream… my chest feels uncongested and I can feel the energy warming up my chest… expanding like warm roots made out of light.

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#159

In the spirit of research I just did 1 minute of Diamond Experimental… just like yesterday.

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#160

Day#5

6 minutes Dragon Reborn st2
6 minutes EOG st1
3 minutes Paragon Sleep X.

Last night I had some very intense dreaming activity… including some disturbing nightmares.
At this point is safe to asume its DR working its magick.

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