I get those a lot, in fact its happening right now.
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Since yesterday Ive been feeling a lot of negativity arising in the form of busy self talk, by busy I mean multiple unintelligible voices and a heaviness in the brain.
Im getting really tired of what feels like and endless stream of trauma flowing out of me…
Im at the point in which Im questioning my decision of doing a healing stack any longer.
I know is part fear and part hopelessness… I just wish I could be over this definitely.
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As soon as I finished writing my last post I began to feel a wave of sadness and despair flowing out of my chest.
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I wouldnt say that I feel bad emotionally, but surely I feel energetically drained, without any drive nor motivation.
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Well Ive been feeling pretty good since this morning, did some HMR with that feeling of sadness and I had a very intense release.
Now Im going for some TRE!!
Btw… curiosity was too strong so Im doing a loop of Ascension Chamber.
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10 minutes after Ascesion Chamber I found myself fixing this thing in the kitchen Ive been avoiding for weeks… Done!
After that I took some things to the garage, that Ive also been avoiding for a couple of days… Done!
When I was finished my girlfriend told me “Are you gonna start exercising” Shes been telling me that for a couple of weeks and I always feel bad and come with an excuse. Its been 3 or 4 months without training. As soon as she said that I put my head down looking for the bad feeling to rise up… but instead I had a rush of motivation and desire, I said to myself maybe I´ll do just that.
I did 30 minutes of kick boxing and I plan to practice 3 times a week… starting slow and moving up to 60 minutes.
It felt really good… I needed a little physicality, my body needed some love too.
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Oh Boy… I needed to go back to exercise so bad, Ive been flooded by endorphines for well over an hour.
Im still baffled at why Ive been so sexually active and have so much sexual energy since I started DR… Today I feel like if I were using sexual subs, a strong aura of sexuality around me and lots of sexual energy flowing.
Well thinking about it, its not that baffling really… considering the amount of healing Ive done with DR its only natural that my energy levels are rising and that the energy is manifesting in a strong, healthy way.
Whats healthier than having lots of sexual energy flowing through your whole body, right?
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Last week I posted that I was going to wait for a second healing wave of DR st2 before changing my stack… Now that I went thhrough the 2nd wave I think why not riding a third one.
It will probably take me a week and thats just at the same time this cycle ends.
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This is something I sort of “didn’t like” for a while because I thought it’s low vibe to be lusting all the time. Until I realized if the energy is directed via love into a proper direction, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being sexual.
After all, why not?
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Day#16
DR st2 × 5 minutes
EOG st1 + 6 minutes
Paragon Sleep × 2 minutes
Listened at 5:00 am then fell asleep hard.
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Last night I had dream after dream about infidelity, jealously and break ups, which is interesting because usually at this time of the year (november/december) Ive experienced crisis, conflicts and/or break ups in my relationships over the years.
I was pretty disturbed when I woke up… now Im feeling better.
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HMR is such a great complement for DR… As soon as things come to my awareness I can begin to resolve the emotional charge and restore balance in my being.
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I will finish this cycle next sunday, then a washout.
Whats shure for the next one is:
EOG st1
LBFH.
Im pondering about a third one.
Doing the first 2 stages of DR again was a very good idea, but now I want a tighter focus on the healing, fully aimed at what EOG with with the help LBFH can provide.
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It keeps happening!! Effervescent sexual energy rising up, filling my whole body. Even though I have some sexual thoughts the tendency is to have less and less of them over time and more of the energy goes into making me feel joyful.
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I did my second kick boxing practice this week (35 minutes) theres something thats been released inside and Im feeling lighter. Took a nice cold shower and now floating in endorphines.
Im gonna start listening to my stack just before falling asleep, I used to do that and Ive been doing it really early in the mornings for quite some time now.
Also Im considering CFW as a third title… that forgiveness element is very tempting right now.
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Changed my mind lol. LBFH also has forgiveness scripting… I dont wanna over do it.
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Day#18
Last night I did my stack… gonna do it before bed from now on.
DR st2 × 3:33 minutes
EOG st1 × 5 minutes
Paragon Sleep × 4 minutes
I had more dreams than usual, which is already a lot, besides that I have a lot of sexual energy flowing inside, theres some frustration going on though.
I feel very good on the surface and I have some turmoil going on inside. I guess the 3rd wave is coming.
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Third wave kicking in!! Resentment and unforgiveness.
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Anxiety and restlessness all over the place…
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Im burned out…
Today have been pretty exhausting emotionally and I feel like a zombie now…
Im gonna eat something and go to bed.
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