Day#3
1 full loop of:
Dragon Reborn st2
EOG st1
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Turns out the other day I did Paragon Sleep ZP… I thought Ive done the experimental version, but I didnt.
Today I did 3 minutes of the Experimental version, lets see If I notice a difference.
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The disappointment and anger I was experiencing yesterday is gone, today I feel sadenned about human nature.
What people are capable of doing for money, cheating, lying, fighting, betraying, killing and what not.
Whats clear to me is EOG is bringing a lot to the surface…
Cant wait for DR and EOG updates!!
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Interesting, i went through these feelings before but wasnt on sublims
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I keep doing my TRE routine once a day… Its pretty interesting that the tremors always appear in different parts of my spine, with different rhythms, different depths and speed.
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Record keeping…
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Day#4
Last night I had such an emotional and powerful dream that I woke up crying… even if I remember it now I still get my eyes wet and Im flooded with the same emotions.
I was sitting in some sort of roller coaster, to my left there was an ex girlfriend and to her left her ex husband. Between my chair and hers there was a little kid trapped and I was afraid he would get hurt when the roller coaster moved, I asked him and he told me he was ok, but I was really worried.
Suddenly I understood he was the son of my ex and her ex… the roller coaster moved and the little kid head began to get squeezed, so using all my strenght I freed him up… his parents seemed uncaring.
Now he is free and begins to play on top of us three pretending hes a worm or something… very happy, I begin to caress him because his parents didnt really do anything but look at me and I notice he has a malformation in the chest…
It all made sense to me, I became flooded by sadness for him, his weakness made me feel despair… I looked at the parents and I see how the mom is paralized by fear and the dad is desperate for help feeling overwhelmed… while the kid just wants love and attention.
Then it hit me deeper… they do love their son unconditionally, but they are so afraid that their boy is gonna suffer through life, so filled with fears that they are uncapable of showing love. At that very second I had a deep understanding of what unconditional love really is and felt it inside… I hugged him with all the love he will ever need.
I woke up crying… minutes later I came to the understanding that I am/was the kid in the dream… his parents represented my parents.
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About the dream… I dont have a malformation on my chest, but when I was about the same age as the kid in the dream I had many respiratory problems… bronchitis, pneumonia and asthma.
According to Traditional Chinese Medicine the emotions that are connected to lung sickness are grief amd sadness… the was a lot of grief and sadness released during the dream (still are)… there was a lot of grief and sadness in that time of my life.
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Ive been having a rush of sexual energy for the last 30 minutes or so.
The most interesting thing is that the energy is flowing all the way up from the 1rst chakra to the 5th, 6th and 7th… very strongly.
Surely its related to the unblocking I had last night in my dream… my chest feels uncongested and I can feel the energy warming up my chest… expanding like warm roots made out of light.
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In the spirit of research I just did 1 minute of Diamond Experimental… just like yesterday.
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Day#5
6 minutes Dragon Reborn st2
6 minutes EOG st1
3 minutes Paragon Sleep X.
Last night I had some very intense dreaming activity… including some disturbing nightmares.
At this point is safe to asume its DR working its magick.
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Yesterday I was out buying some stuff like new glasses for myself. Its pretty obvious how lighthearted and easy going I have become.
This can be partially because of my cycles of LBHX and also because of the heavy trauma resolved by DR so far.
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This was when I was overexposing…
Now check this next 2 weeks following the guidelines of what I know I can handle with good results.
Oct 31 - Nov 6
Nov 7 - Nov 12
Clear difference in my mood.
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Theres some interaction between some major blocks Ive cleared, deep changes Ive made with my stack and my girlfriend using Seductress… We just cant stop wanting more intimacy.
Yes I chose that word purposefully… Its definitely not sex, its Making Love… but Making Love to create a bubble of Connection and Intimacy.
I was thinking this morning that I was never really into one night stands and that sort of thing… I was always looking to fulfill something else… that feeling of being with somebody you love and loves you back… the feeling of being with a person that puts all her barries down… emotionally, physically, the whole deal and feeling comfortable enough to do the same.
Being fully naked in all forms… The Merging of Two Naked Souls.
It just makes everything about sexuality way better… Indescribably good.
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Still thinking in the lines of my previous post… I realize now why titles like Libertine dont really work between my girlfriend and me… It kinds of puts us off… while titles like Diamond and LBHX really makes us crave for intimacy.
We are both aligned in what we want and how we want it.
I see that when picking a sub for attraction its very important to understand that different personality types, different attachment styles, and different values regarding sexual expression… will yield different results when choosing the very same sub.
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Primal Seduction + Libertine will probably never get me a woman like my girlfriend and will never really click/align with my nature. If I were to use that stack I will probably experience turmoil and conflict in my relationship.
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Heartsong + LBHX + Diamond is way more aligned with my true nature therefore can only attract a woman that resonates with that very same essence.
Since my girlfriend has the very same essence we are getting increasingly more connected in deeper and deeper levels.
Thats not to say that we didnt have to work for it… Removing all kinds of trauma and barriers builded over decades of living in this loving world. 
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Wow.
While it is sad it’s also super powerful the releases you have!!
DR is kicking! Keep going!!!
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Ended up taking the whole weekend off subs…
Today I did:
Dragon Reborn X st2 12 minutes
EOG st1 6 minutes
Diamond 1 minute.
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Im sinking into a very negative/depressive state… lots of anger.
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It will be okay, brother. Felt something similar as well.
The other day my temper was flaring and I figured it’s best to keep to myself, les I say something I might regret specially to those closest to me.
I was almost itching for a conflict that day, and aside from everyday toils and whatnot, I recognized I was in a state of recon.
I decided to cut this cycle short and take an early washout to prepare for an all ZPv2 stack to gauge it more accurately.
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Thank you!!
Yes Im in recon too… a tough one… I cant seem to find a place in the world… I feel so alien right now.
I feel deceived…
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