A journal about my Dragon Reborn Red experience 🤘🏼

[James]

I started DRR St 1 this past Sunday. Running at least two cycles of each stage.

[joker]

What feelings did you get from listening?

[James]

Mild anxiety. Happens with any healing title but it’s something I have to work through to finally resolve

[James]

Running a loop today

[WorldOvertaker]

weren’t you running Sanguine and Genesis, then deciding to washout until november? lol

[James]

Decided not to run a loop today. Tomorrow it is

[James]

Until September but yeah I was running those two prior to the week and a half washout

[James]

I feel that I’m processing things I have held on to since probably my late teens into my mid twenties. It really fucking hurts. I thought I was learning to let go but not yet. Wow

[James]

Ran a loop several hours ago. Not going to run another loop until at least Wednesday. Made a week without switching titles. Not a huge accomplishment but an observation.

Still working through a lot of shit that hurts. My heart is filled with regret

[James]

Main Disc. Thread - The NEW Dragon Reborn RED

That’s self awareness for ya. I feel the same way. I was telling my wife yesterday that at some point I would love to find as many people as I can that I hurt , used , or fucked over in the past apologize and try to make things right if that person is willing. I question my behavior all the time now. Not in a paranoid way but I definitely think way more before I act or say something.

[James]

Main Disc. Thread - The NEW Dragon Reborn RED

I don’t enjoy posting sometimes because I either feel like I repeat myself often or I sound cliche. That said I continue to be surprised by DRR. I have always felt obligated to care about things that in reality I couldn’t give a flying fuck about. It’s so exhausting. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember. Now I’m finally learning to let go and not care anymore. Not that I am becoming a Richard or anything. I don’t want shit to live rent free in my brain anymore

[James]

@RVconsultant Why did you change the name of my journal?

[RVconsultant]

I wanted to make it obvious it was a journal thread and not the official product thread.

What would you like to re-name it?

[James]

No. It’s fine. I was just curious. I honestly don’t recall what it was named originally

[James]

Main Disc. Thread - The NEW Dragon Reborn RED

So happy I somehow convinced myself to take my time with DDR. The feelings on this are beyond what I have felt with any other Dragon Reborn title or any healing focused title in general. I know in a post a while back how my feelings regarding specific periods of my past or often so strong it I can literally feel what I probably felt during that time. It’s makes me almost nauseous and I don’t know why necessarily. I do consider some aspects of that not just missed opportunities but also a lot of…

[James]

Main Disc. Thread - The NEW Dragon Reborn RED

DRR St 1 is just beating the shit out of my subconscious. It’s actually a bit hilarious

[James]

Currently running my first loop of DDR St 2

@Hoppa @RVconsultant @Jouissance

[James]

With the original DR and it’s updates prior to DRR I didn’t really spend much time at all beyond stage one. For whatever reason I had it stuck in my head that I had to run stage one for a really long time which is probably why I have felt like I haven’t really grown as much as I would have liked and why any growth that did happen was minor compared to what it could be. This is entirely on me and I don’t plan on making that mistake again.

As excited as I am for Emperor Daddy and the updated EOG I don’t feel I’m ready for either. Not even close. I am taking my time with this and forcing myself to be patient so I can see and feel the results over time. The results I have craved for over thirty years. I know that doesn’t make sense as SubClub hasn’t been around that long obviously but I’m speaking about self improvement and mental and emotional health and maturity in general