A human bean's journal

Journals - Major Programs
#43

Is precon a thing? Took a nap and woke up with a bad memory from academia:

  • Some graduate module about 3D modelling I had to take for ‘breadth’. Last assignment presentation, I got interrupted by the professor taking issue with a formula on my slides. 5 minutes of “you’re wrong, just admit you’re wrong, can’t tell why you’re wrong?”
  • I opened my less-than-50-lines Python script to visually show that the formula works, his reply was “You’re wasting your time, I don’t look at results, now admit you’re wrong.” Followed later by him smugly saying “not all assignments were bad… students, you should learn to accept correction…”
  • 4 hours later I got a private email. “I looked at your slides and you were right.”
  • The irony is I didn’t come up with the formula, I screenshotted it from his PhD student’s thesis. I’d told him that during the presentation, “nope it’s wrong”.

Remembering a lot of bullshit in academia now, from having to cite against my own PhD supervisor, him vanishing for 8 months to create “a pro priority queue, so pro it’s never been seen before”, RA and I cloning the repository without him so that we could handle each other’s pull requests, administration having fine prints over Mastering out. It’s a special moment to hear the exact sentence “Sorry to hear your mother has cancer, but $50k is a cheap fee for a Masters, you’ll earn it all back when we get you into Facebook.”

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#44

It could be the stack switching recon. I would go with QL Stage 4 starting with a microloop (30 sec, 1 min, 2 min, your choice). You went through the first 3 stages why stop?

As a side note I am starting new QL Stage 4. I am on a short washout period.

If you go with Limitless I suppose you could return to QL Stage 4.

For the academia situtation, I cannot imagine the bs you have to go through. Sorry to hear about these experiences.

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#45

Thanks! It would feel better to have run through all stages of QL. And I have understated my gain from it I guess. How has it been for you?

New Limitless has to take precedence I think, my current supervisor told me recently “you just need more confidence when expressing yourself” so I’m taking that as a sign. I should reconsider how important TWTP is.

My academia days were eye-opening in a bad way. I loved formal logic and academia burned it out of me. My sister has the inverse experience though, different field and college, bs in industry drove her back to academia.

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#46

For me new QL has been good. I do get a productivity push and have re-started language learning. This language learning has been ongoing since I started New QL Stage 1 cycle 2 around January I think.

About your supervisor’s advice and New Limitless idea it kind of makes sense. I think it is a hard choice here but go with what you think is okay in your situation.

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#47

Alright time to commit.

Listened to QL4 3.30min, Limitless 3.30min and KB4 custom 7.30min. Since I’ve done the triple stack before. TWTP next cycle. See how tomorrow goes.

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#48

Lesson learned, should’t do this with two Stage 4s.

No strain last night, but woke up dehydrated and feeling my brain working hard. Able to cook and work though.

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#49

standard

mwf

28day mwf

Wondering if this is reasonable? Hopefully I’m not being dumb/“duh”

#50

Listened to just QL4 3min two hours ago.

Not sure why but after a moment it gets hard on my head. QL2 and QL3 didn’t strain. Not even KB4. Feels like my initial listens of Emperor.

Also the QL1 part of it is occasionally triggering pain in my left fingers.

#51

Frosthaven puzzle 1:
fh
Where every symbol is a digit 1-9

Solution

With dot := 1 and line := 2, figured out digits 1-8
Got stuck at why X := 9 :man_facepalming:
Got external help when showing the problem to others: “Is the X two or four lines?”

#52

The second picture (8 listening days in yellow) is okay I think. You could extend from the 17 to the 19 or even 22 then 6 rest days for washout period. This is something I do on the regular but I do Sunday, Tues Thursdays as my listening days per week. After 22 days in the ZP cycle I take a 6 day washout period.

Your third picture is okay too I think. The ZP cycle is slightly longer with more rest days.

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#53

Thanks! If I understand your schedule correctly, it’s similar to the third picture but take Day 24 away to have 6 days washout?

I’ll try the third since the next three months are convenient for it

#54

Yes you can do that. The last listening day would be day 22 then 6 day washout.

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#55

Meeting today, standing in for supervisor who was sick.

Tried to emphasize a couple of things I think were overlooked, I don’t think I did a good job of expressing them but from the person taking notes on the screen, it seemed like they got the points.

#56

Limitless 3.30min KB4custom 5min

Nothing stood out on Friday.

Saturday: Was practising drumming and then suddenly having a moment of despair:
What’s the point?

I started learning this year on a burst of interest, and to prove to myself that I can still learn and overcome my shitty coordination.

But I’m not going to join a band anytime soon, even if I get good someday I don’t know if I’ll ever get to show it to anyone.

Two branches of thoughts on this:

  1. I need to learn to sustain a pursuit without external validation.
    Just “liking” something should be enough.
    But is that sustainable?
    And is external validation a bad thing?
    Metamorphosis’ journal title: There’s no point being the greatest undiscovered talent in the grave
  2. I need to find some kind of end goal to each of my hobbies.
    But, it slides into everything becoming a pursuit of value. My father’s reasoning for preventing me from pursuing anything in my youth, because he saw no value in anything that wasn’t “studies->good job->money” (stereotypical Asian parent meme)

Not sure how to resolve this. Maybe I’m jumping to extremes too quickly.

hm_horse

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#57

Everyone’s on their own path. Understanding what your path is, is the first step.

All the best my dear friend in finding your path…

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#58

Went to a jazz-japanese fusion performance tonight. Got some of the inspiration back, though I don’t know where I myself am heading.

#59

Limitless and KB4custom on Sunday night.

Nothing particularly interesting.
Was soaking beans last night and wondering if there was a solution to phytic acid like nixtamalization of corn.
Drum lessons moved to Tuesday, introduction to toms. Difficulty following the metronome.

Frosthaven puzzle 2. Seems like a substitution cipher.

Third QL4 listen tonight, hope I won’t get the hand pain again.

#60

3min of QL4 again. No hand pain this time, less intense but still woke up with tension in head. Cleared around lunch.

Dunno if it means anything, but before QL4 if I felt head strain it’d be in the center of my brain. Last week it was both upper parts (as if ‘itching’ under my skull), today the right upper part.

Bit cranky and listless. Yesterday someone asked me if I was still doing any “creative pursuits” as in acts of creation, and I said no. ROMhack endeavour over, scanlation over, now picking up stuff but still haven’t figured out the end goals.

All the previous practice on push shots but I can’t make one in a game. :cry:

#61

So my country’s Prime Minister changed last night. I don’t care, but my rotated-out colleague did enough to notice:
leecake

He recommended it to me this morning, said his brief read was helpful.

Also talked to me about his interest in modifying our testbed to look into something. Two years ago we were explicitly forbidden from looking into it by others down-the-pipeline, because they themselves were apparently looking into it… But after this time it doesn’t seem so. The problem is there may be outside solutions now.

#62

Recon.

Two cognitive titles is probably too much. Woke up wanting to drop both and buy BDLM.

Kinda want to rerun Emperor but somehow it doesn’t feel right this time.

I’ll see if this persists over the weekend.