A human bean's journal

Journals - Major Programs
#26

Bought a KB4/Heartsong/etc custom. Intended to listen for 3.30 but it was surprisingly smooth with no head tension, so I went to 7min and still alright. Stopped there and not listening to anything else though to be cautious.

Some Emperor things last week: The person I confronted maintained her politeness last Saturday. Her partner went “So we’ll do this and <he>'ll do that” and I told her “if you want me to do something, talk to me directly”. She gave an awkward “uhhh yeah that’s what I’m doing”, but started addressing me directly and more politely after that.

Workplace was a mixed bag.

I think I’ve plateaued on QL2, maybe it’s time to switch up.

Should I make a new thread now that I’ve got a custom?

Happy Hari Raya Puasa! Congratulations on the end of Ramadan :slightly_smiling_face:

#27

QL3 time

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#28

What I ran:
ql3

What I expected:
seed-gundam-2458419550

What I got:
aff
Which isn’t a bad thing, I had trouble blocking out this inner saboteur. Also, TIL lip syncing and holding the words in my mind’s eye helps (literally visualized the above).

#30

Past few days have been alternating experiences of friendliness and rudeness.

Read oloy’s experience of Emperor: The Will To Power, it didn’t cross my mind before but suddenly seems to be the obvious ‘Stage 2’ after Emperor for my situation.

Yesterday lunched with rotated-out colleagues and they lamented on the extreme politics at their current end. A guy who’s had his trust betrayed too told me the two of us are a bit too naive, we share what we find too easily and he’s learning the “don’t make yourself replaceable” thing. It’s true that I’ve lucked out on a benevolent supervisor and in the past a more benevolent workplace.

On a Heartsong musing, I understand it’s a romantic title but it’s helping out internally and socially, I’m a straight guy and guys are friendlier (popping by my cubicle to tell me there’s food, cheering during foosball, more conversations).

#31

Some observations I’m attributing to QL3:

  • The blocking of intrusive thoughts, like the crappy Paint picture in a previous post: when absorbed in a thought, other irrelevant/intrusive thoughts are pushed out of ‘vision’. If they do come in, they’re like skew vectors to the main thought, and I can pause them, resolve the main one and change the intruding ones if they’re bad. Stopping intrusive thoughts is under QL2 I think but it’s much more pronounced for me since starting QL3. I have Inner Voice in KB4 custom so maybe that’s synergizing.
  • There’s a different kind of productivity from Emperor? Emperor helps to get moving, QL3 helps to keep going.
  • The bad: My tendency to get lost in thought is excerbated recently, had to be ‘snapped out’ by someone at least twice. Haven’t walked across a road without looking yet, fortunately, but today I’ve self-‘snapped out’ in front of a road crossing a few times. :grimacing: Thank you childhood teachers for ingraining the stop-and-look habit.

Saw the Synergy release and have ideas for rebuilding custom, but will hold off until I feel ready to build and run two.

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#32

Started Emperor 30 days ago, now going to rotate out so I can start TWTP on 6 May. Thank you for helping me with emotional resilience. I hope I can maintain that and the improved productivity.

Ran QL3 7.30min last night, kinda bad focus today. To reduce listening time next listen.

Weird dream last night:
A woman who resembles a niche celebrity I like (one of her characters in a webdrama, to be precise) joined my workplace. Slightly hostile at first, rest of dream was embarrassingly cheesy, we found out that “We Are Not Alone” and bonded into a “more than friends, less than lovers” state.
Then she said “You should build your customs by June 12 and add Inner Circle core”, and I woke up.
???
Trying not to put stock into these things, and the dream had red flags tbh. But it was the first nice dream I’ve had for a long time.

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Weird Dreams 💤? What could they mean? Let us know
#33
Sex-addled brain today

Morning: Woke up and went to work brain-fogged
Boner while trying to debug
Looked through open-source code for reference:
hi = sext(prod:4);
Afternoon: More boners, heat flashes in body
Figured out the problem → boner
Evening: Went to shopping mall, supermarket dairy section:

MANGO CREAM PIE
PLEASURE'S WAY
LOVE THEM ALL

Guess the lack of focus isn’t QL3 overexposure :grimacing:

#34

New Limitless ticks a lot of things I was thinking to build a second custom for (visionary, linguistic + persuasion, body coordination).

If I swap and start next Monday I can finish two MWFs in the first week of June… :grimacing:

#35

Fought the FOMO, ran QL3 tonight. Full loop, no strain. Will add New Limitless instead of TWTP on May 6.

#36

…Aaand I’m reminded why I ended up considering TWTP in the first place.

Fucking office, and it’s “better” than whatever my rotated colleagues are facing.

But I don’t know if TWTP will help either, like do I learn how to get rid of these gits?

#37

Weary. Intuition was a disaster during board games. Good thing tomorrow (today) is a holiday.

Washout this week and consider how to proceed.

#38

Quiet day.

Attempt at minestrone soup became tomato rice. Still edible for me so okay, trying with less stuff next time.

TIL E621 is monosodium glutamate. Will avoid premade broth next time.

Practiced push-shots after work for an hour, ball keeps slanting in the push direction so figuring to compensate. Read on Reddit about southpaws using rollovers/snake shots, but I haven’t been able to figure it out.

#39

Couldn’t do a single push shot during play :cry:

After 3 months, I’m thinking to not continue with QL. Not feeling Stage 4, and while QL3 is nice I’m not getting other things out of it.

Replacing QL with New Limitless as the cognitive title, I can perhaps run TWTP as the 3rd title. So far the public journey here:
QL2 → QL2 → QL3 → (New Limitless)
LB → Emperor → 1/2 Emperor → (TWTP? Funny how this line progressed)
KB4 → KB4 → KB4 custom → (KB4 custom)

#40

Nice night out with a different group of colleagues

#41

Out of curiousity, what do you mean by not feeling New QL Stage 4? Lack of productivity, drive? How long have you been on Stage 4 (or any other stage)?

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#42

I haven’t run Stage 4. Ran QL1 one MWF cycle, QL2 two, QL3 one (currently washing out). Was considering between continuing QL3, going to QL4 or replacing the cognitive title with New Limitless.

Not feeling as in I don’t feel like continuing QL. Part of it is that my (quickly approaching) cognitive goals are explicitly targeted in New Limitless’ description, whereas I reread through QL’s description and reflected on my experiences and it has been slower (expected) and somewhat “abstract” (manifesting information, but I’m having a hard time using it). But QL3 has been tangibly helping me with productivity, so the hesitation to quit.

This could be FOMO subhopping but I’ve been giving it a week of thought (could use a second opinion though). Could do both QL and Limitless, but I’ll like to get a handle on my social situation too.

#43

Is precon a thing? Took a nap and woke up with a bad memory from academia:

  • Some graduate module about 3D modelling I had to take for ‘breadth’. Last assignment presentation, I got interrupted by the professor taking issue with a formula on my slides. 5 minutes of “you’re wrong, just admit you’re wrong, can’t tell why you’re wrong?”
  • I opened my less-than-50-lines Python script to visually show that the formula works, his reply was “You’re wasting your time, I don’t look at results, now admit you’re wrong.” Followed later by him smugly saying “not all assignments were bad… students, you should learn to accept correction…”
  • 4 hours later I got a private email. “I looked at your slides and you were right.”
  • The irony is I didn’t come up with the formula, I screenshotted it from his PhD student’s thesis. I’d told him that during the presentation, “nope it’s wrong”.

Remembering a lot of bullshit in academia now, from having to cite against my own PhD supervisor, him vanishing for 8 months to create “a pro priority queue, so pro it’s never been seen before”, RA and I cloning the repository without him so that we could handle each other’s pull requests, administration having fine prints over Mastering out. It’s a special moment to hear the exact sentence “Sorry to hear your mother has cancer, but $50k is a cheap fee for a Masters, you’ll earn it all back when we get you into Facebook.”

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#44

It could be the stack switching recon. I would go with QL Stage 4 starting with a microloop (30 sec, 1 min, 2 min, your choice). You went through the first 3 stages why stop?

As a side note I am starting new QL Stage 4. I am on a short washout period.

If you go with Limitless I suppose you could return to QL Stage 4.

For the academia situtation, I cannot imagine the bs you have to go through. Sorry to hear about these experiences.

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#45

Thanks! It would feel better to have run through all stages of QL. And I have understated my gain from it I guess. How has it been for you?

New Limitless has to take precedence I think, my current supervisor told me recently “you just need more confidence when expressing yourself” so I’m taking that as a sign. I should reconsider how important TWTP is.

My academia days were eye-opening in a bad way. I loved formal logic and academia burned it out of me. My sister has the inverse experience though, different field and college, bs in industry drove her back to academia.

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#46

For me new QL has been good. I do get a productivity push and have re-started language learning. This language learning has been ongoing since I started New QL Stage 1 cycle 2 around January I think.

About your supervisor’s advice and New Limitless idea it kind of makes sense. I think it is a hard choice here but go with what you think is okay in your situation.

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