“We have been to the moon, we have charted the depths of the ocean and the heart of the atom, but we have a fear of looking inward to ourselves because we sense that is where all the contradictions flow together.”
Terence McKenna
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In light of this very quote it is important to realize that I have a knack for changing others. I always had. My astrology even says that.
Which is hypocritical if I think about it because I don’t have my own shit together.
Looking inward seems to be the key for me now.
I am still in belief that the subs I listen to are somewhat guided. Yeah I switch a lot, but I think the lessons are important.
I was guided to Chosen, Alchemist, all spirituality, until I realised I cannot live a life fully in spirit. Not yet at least. Then I went to money and sex only, which doesn’t make me happy long-term.
So the solution - as always - is the middle ground.
I need to find a way to wove Chosen into my current stack of:
Wealth Custom (RICH, Limitless)
EoG Stages
Relationship Custom
The first obvious point would be the RS custom, although it was Heartsong after all that brought me here. And I am having a tough time dropping this custom after just one run. It also has SPS Endocrine System, Premature Ejaculation, Soul Connection, Entranced. A lot of great modules I don’t want to miss.
EoG cannot be dropped for now.
Neither can RICH Reality.
It might just be a cycle-switch between chosen and the RS custom. Hmm.
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THIS is shadow work, my friends.
I know many might read this journal looking for money stuff. But shadow work is the key, also for money.
After all, what stops me from making big bucks is limiting beliefs DEEPLY ingrained in myself.
Impostor syndrome is a big one for me.
And after all, money is a side-effect of using your life-time properly. Giving value to others.
Going deep into yourself to find out where you really want to head. Where you are supposed to head.
ZP’s very nature.
I wonder if the current “enlightenment” (lol, not really) I experience is because of the name-embedding in the new customs, and if that will fade to be more grounded again. Either way, currently I am enjoying this experience.
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When women test you (which they do a lot) they always go into the energy you hate the most.
This is where they can TRULY see if you love them regardless.
The weak man then usually runs away, only to find the same shit (or similar) happening with another woman.
The strong man withstands the feminine storm, and comes out a stronger sailor on the beautiful island.
So I realised yet again, it is not on me to change my wife to be different and adhere to my positive energies, it is ME that must change. Not for her, but to be more resilient. To withstand external shit and be in my own positive energy regardless.
What a deep insight I just gained.
And I need Chosen lol
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Can you please link that method? I am not aware of it.
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Sure, this one that’s been linked a million times 
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Day 50, washout day 14.
So after 14 days of washout I TruLY felt I needed more positivity. Not just to battle lingering recon, but really to raise my vibration. It was a deep feeling of desperately needing more positive notions in my mind, regardless of circumstances.
So I ran 3 minutes of Chosen this morning, breaking the 14 day washout.
Will run nothing for 4 more days before I start the actual cycle with EoG as always. But I think this will give a nice touch to it.
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Okay Ascension Chamber is getting freaky.
Before anyone asks, I did run a stint of Mind’s Eye in the past, plus my customs contain a lot of conscious, subconscious enhancers like Tyrant, Merger of Worlds, Inner Voice, Divine Will, etc (or did contain) so these certainly help.
However I am currently at the stage where the manifestations happen within minutes.
Simple things like I had a call today at 4pm (people can auto schedule this on my available time slots) but this one didn’t REALLY fit into my plans. I could’ve done it, but it would’ve been stressful.
Told my wife at lunch that I don’t really fancy the call later.
10 minutes later after lunch I check my emails and the guy rescheduled to next week.
I didn’t even visualise anything. I just FELT that I don’t want it rn and it happened.
This keeps happening everywhere and with everything.
It’s never been SO QUICK from a thought in my mind to it becoming reality ever since AC. And I only did 3 loops of it so far.
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Day 51, one day after Chosen 3 minutes
So the 3 minute thingy is legit. I don’t notice anything in my mind, or not much I should say, but results are there I can see and feel that.
I think it feels like I am not feeling much because I am simply not overloaded. I just flow with it. Feels good!
However, as mentioned, I see Dragon Reborn everywhere, everyone mentioning it to me. Maybe this is my subconscious telling me what I need.
Specifically this part n ST1 is intriguing:
Dragon Fire will also help you become immune to future conditioning from your environment and others, while helping you increase your sensitivity to positive subliminal influence.
Because so far I pick up any idea that comes my way and make it gospel. I need to stop this.
I don’t want to stop EoG, but idk if EoG and DR is too much. Plus Chosen to stay positive.
Maybe I do it for one cycle, to see how it feels…
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Just ordered DR. After seeing @James posts about healing the inner child I knew I had to do that.
And it fits the title of my journal. Shadow work.
EoG DR and Chosen is the plan for now.
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I’m looking forward to your results with DRST1.
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FULL SHADOW WORK
Day 52, DR ST1
In the post above I actually made a mistake, there was a rest day between Chosen and my DR run this morning.
I was going to do EoG, DR, Chosen, but I realised only Chosen as the “normal” sub is unbalanced.
Specifically with the ERB method, and in last Chosen Solo runs I did notice that I am too much in the Blue Skies and don’t care about money/RS.
Anyone running Chosen, don’t be afraid, this is specifically the case for me because Chosen PERFECTLY aligns with my core being. Might not be the case for you.
But because of this is decided to run the 2 multi stagers in iterations. Stacking them is likely also not wise.
So this cycle will be DR, next cycle EoG, cycle after that DR, repeat.
This brings EoG up to a full year instead of just 8 months, and it has time to bloom while DR runs etc. I am liking this.
The stack in sense of ERB will be:
Expander: Chosen
Restrictor: Emperor
Balancer: DR/EoG
Plus AC every now and then.
All 3 minutes.
I might exchange Emperor every now and then for my Wealth custom which is also very grounded but I TRULY liked @Sub.Zero s Dark Cavalier journal of stacking DR with Emperor. I just add Chosen to it because this is easily the most flowing sub for me.
As I said, 2022 is my year of shadow work and laying the foundation for the future. With subs and in general.
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I was considering adding Chosen to my custom instead of Commander but ultimately I just need those things Commander offers more than what Chosen offers. I need to heal and strengthen my core and build on it later on.
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Relationship
First loop of DR made me really sleepy a few hours later and slightly irritated, but barely noticeable.
However, right now I feel great. I notice energy being there like never before. I am calm, relaxed, and fine with myself. I am easy with women and people, being sass and funny.
What is always the most crazy to me is when I get results a day BEFORE I run that sub.
DR has physical healing, right?
Yesterday a bunch of smaller things suddenly became way better, but today I run the loop.
I know others have reported this as well. Always strikes me crazy.
Time is not real, is it? 
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Ascension Chamber again.
Little things but you notice it.
Wife and I want to order food. Pizza or Chinese. It doesn’t REALLY bother me, but deep down I was fancying pizza. But I was fine with both. Wife wants Chinese, without any debate I say “sure.”
Call the Chinese delivery. They’re closed.
Now we have pizza lol
I told you. Manifestations of my wants and needs are INSTANT.
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Day 53, rest.
So DR seems to tackle the physical first.
Tonight my body was hot all the time. Not like sweaty or a fever, but raised temp. Last time I experienced this was on Wanted (testing phase) and resulted in massive physical shifting.
This time it seems to heal whatever is fucked up in my body. It’s interesting, I considered my body to be very healthy, but apparently there is still something going on.
Also my mindset is that of COMPLETE RELAXATION IN MYSELF.
It even seems to amplify older subs I ran.
I am sassy, relaxed, chill, calm, confident, direct, open, MASCULINE.
I enjoy life a ton. Having fun even when I am not on my purpose currently. It’s Easter, right? Chillin with the fam. Playing with them, teasing them.
What a great way to live.
Idk why 3 minutes of the sub is SO MUCH better than 5 minutes? But it is a huge difference for me. You don’t notice much consciously. You are just surprised at how reality is suddenly exactly what you want.
I am getting the same vibes I had on the initial testing phase of Wanted @SaintSovereign
Maybe nerfing it down or offering a proper 3 minute “LOWRECON” version might be the way to go. Especially since you notice the same.
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Oh yeah, also.
Lots of dreams, many of them vivid and not “foggy” like they are when I run the full 15 minutes.
Seems to be easier to process.
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Day 54, processing
Today Dragon Reborn set in strongly I can tell. Tonight dreams brought up things from the past. Interestingly enough, not necessarily bad things. Or so I thought. The memory that came up wasn’t a bad thing in my eyes. But I am sure my subconscious knows better.
Anyway, this morning I feel recon. Very slight and easily to handle but I DO notice something is going on.
It’s true that once you ran a sub for a while, it becomes much easier to run (Chosen). And, I guess, healing subs are never easy.
Tomorrow is Emperor day, but maybe I need to postpone, we’ll see how the day goes!
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