2024: Tale of Two Swords (Khan and Khan Black)

Journals - Major Programs
#157

Had the rest of last week as a washout.

Cycle 8, Week 1
Monday - Love Bomb 5 mins, Khan 2 5 mins.

So I noticed more assertive communication a couple times over the past two days.
Like, slightly confrontational encounters with other men where I just spoke up for myself reflexively. Like little fucks given how I came across.

Like, all very measured/relatively chill scenarios, but interesting to reflect back on.
And likewise made a fun comment to a girl in the supermarket today, again without really thinking.

#158

Adjusting my stack.

Love Bomb stays, that is essential for self-love, forgiveness, nurturing the wholesome within me.

Khan Black stays, but I will keep at Stage 1 for a while, at least for a few more months while I go through therapy. This is prime time for digging through the soil and pulling weeds.

Khan, I will adjust for Ascension for now. Basic discipline, strength, and good lifestyle first. Walk before run before fly.

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#159

Monday - KB1 3 min, Love Bomb 7 min
Wednesday - Love Bomb 7 min, Ascension 7 min
Friday - KB1 3 min, Love Bomb 7 min
Sunday - Love Bomb 7 min, Ascension 3 min

Hit most of my goals on the weekly planner.
Gym 4 times, PE 3 times, did 13 of my 14 planned meditation sessions.
An hour a day affirming too.
Couple of social events.
Working on my art.

Canned my blog, it got rekt by Google.
But I manifested an SEO course, purchased for me by my mentor.
And we are working on a new site together.

#160

New Cycle, back to Khan St1.
So KB1/K1/LB.

Ran KB/LB on Monday, K and LB just now.

Strong sexual drive.
New thoughts and affirmations come to mind.

#161

Cycle 9, Week 1
Monday - Khan Black 1, Love Bomb
Wednesday - Love Bomb, Khan TB
Friday - Khan Black 1, Love Bomb

This week has been a challenging one, but I’ve come out mostly on top.

I was dealing with some deep shame and intrusive thoughts at the beginning of this week, and had to summon courage to put voice to this stuff in therapy on Tuesday. I was able to move through a chunk of it.

Had some logisitical fuckup that could have lead to a family breakdown and big financial struggle, but I manifested a better outcome. I am powerful.

Going Khan/Khan Black stage 1 this month while I’m still in therapy, get some digging done while the therapy is in place (I have eight more weeks of this therapy).

Honestly I feel best on Ascension, even if it is older tech it feels like my ideal self without reaching too deep into uncomfortable waters. I’ll get a cycle or two of the Khan stage 1s done while going through therapy and then reassess.

#162

Is this advice you need to hear straight from @Fire?

9 Cycles of Stage 1 is a lot, if you’re considering going back to Ascension, you may have some fears of going to stage 2 which could simply be addressed by going to ST2.

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#163

Thanks, ouroboros.

I’ve reflected, and I’ll move to ST2 on my next cycle.

This week:
Monday - K1, LB
Wednesday - KB1, LB
Friday - K1, LB

full loops.

Went a little overboard at the weekend by trialling 90 seconds each of KB4, Khan 4 and Wanted Black. The result? An immediate improvement in energy and perception that I could only described as magical. Like shifting overnight.

The results still somewhat linger, I consider this a big motivation boost to persist with Khan.

This week I listened to 5 minute loops of KB1, K1 and LB, now washing out until next week when I will move onto Khan Stage 2.

Got a lot of thoughts, noticed a lot of little perceptual things following the subs. I SHOULD JOURNAL MORE.
I’ve put it in my weekly planner to take some time 3 times a week to journal here

#164

Cycle 10, Week 1
Monday - Khan ST2 3 mins, Love Bomb 5 mins
Wednesday (tomorrow) - KB ST2 3 mins, Love Bomb 5 mins
Friday - Khan ST2 3 mins, Love Bomb 5 mins

Processing a lot through the subs and therapy at the moment.
Motivation to push through discomfort and be disciplined is high. Gym, Muay Thai, etc. on point.
Respect from others is going up.

Noticing thought patterns around freedom from childhood patterns, a push to more autonomy and maturity.

Noticing repressed anger coming up around my father’s treatment of me in childhood.

Therapy is highlighting my history of either suppressing my needs, or being consumed by them. Just exploring.

#165

Today I chose to go with Khan ST for 1:30, and LB for 3:00.

I’ll note that on Wednesday after listening to KB ST2, I noticed thoughts around Zhan Zhuang, Chei nei Tsand, abdominal massage and tantric massage - some thoughts going on as to how to clear and strengthen my energy.

I was walking to the gym this morning and saw a man, walking ahead of his children. For a moment, I empathised with the children who were, I assume, trailing behind a bit sheepishly and lonely. I then had the thought that even though this man is showing little care outwardly to his kids, this man would likely fight and die for his offspring.

This thought-stream then took me down a mental journey of what it means to be a man?
The boy within would look to the feminine for comfort, for nurture.
But what if your women and children were stolen by another tribe, for example?
No comfort. Just you and your men.
Would you cry pitifully? Or would you risk your very life to save them?

Bit of a mental journey regarding masculinity - what it means to be a man, when shit hits the fan and there are no comfy feminine wombs to nest in.

I purchased the book, “Love Yourself like your life depends on it” by Kamal Ravikant. This book kept getting mentioned here and elsewhere. I’m adopting the mantra practice.

The combination of Khan and Love Bomb seems to manifest itself, in me, at this moment of time, as:
“I am strong. I am independent. I love myself.”

#166

This cycle went:
Week 1 - Mon: K2/LB 5 mins each, Wed: KB2/LB 5 mins each, Fri: K2/LB 5 mins each
Week 2 - Mon: KB2 7 mins, LB 5 mins. Wed: K2 15 min, LB 5 min. Friday(well, this evening): Ascension 5 mins, LB 5 mins, KB2 7 mins.

I seem to -feel- Ascension strongly and quickly.

#167

Finished the cycle with a few runs of Khan/KB/LB/Asc.

So I ordered my first 'mones this week - got some Nude Alpha from LAL, ‘Love&Desirex2’ basically as a mone-empowered aftershave.

Today I did some breathwork, released some anger. Noticed lingering thoughts of anger around my father and upbringing.

Nevertheless, changed focus and listened to a hypnosis around comfort and confidence with women… then listened to 90 seconds each of WB and LB, put on a couple drops of Nude Alpha and took a walk into the city.

As a person who would usually describe themself as heavily introverted, shy, socially anxious etc, I set myself the target of approach 3 or more attractive women and basically just giving them a compliment and leaving.

And, well, I managed it. And it wasn’t so bad!

One woman laughed and smiled, one smiled, and the other was just feminine and receptive. All were grateful.

I know to some here it may not seem like much, but for me, this was a big step, and I feel proud of myself for taking action.

I had some awkward thoughts about appearing creepy, old, and some thoughts definitely around making sure those I approached were like mid-20s or higher. It was actually quite reassuring to see once I pushed myself past my fear, things were actually fine.

The interactions WERE short, and I set myself up in a very non-threatening way by saying like “I’m not stopping, but I just wanted to say” etc. but fuck it at least I went OUT on a Saturday and talked to some women.

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#168

I do find myself debating my stack.

I find myself wanting stability, foundation, basics.

A sense of safety in my body, self-love, forgiveness of the past, and a stable, strong sense of self.

From the shy/introverted ball of neuroses and shame etc. to hit it with the Khans, relentlessly, for the full year… I don’t know if it’s the most -productive- path forward.

I’m reducing antidepressant medication.

I find my mind going to Sanguine, Love Bomb, Ascension, and Wanted (not WB).

For the peace of mind (Sanguine), self-love(Love Bomb), strong sense of self without all the complexity of a full Khan script (Ascension) and for help with recovering my hairline, building a good physique, improving my sexual performance, building passive attraction from women, and just feeling wanted (Wanted).

Taking a few days off subs anyway for now, I’ll let this all sit.

#169

You could try Ascension+SSX for some cycles, while you continue approaching ladies in your vicinity. I mean, you got the will and the pheromones ready. Now you just need more pleasant experiences until your subconscious feels that what Khan suggests to you isn’t that far-fetched or too far out from your current reality. Ascension will help you with the drive and masculinity, and SSX will manifest the scenarios you’ll feel comfortable in.
I’ve run Love Bomb for around 5 cycles now, and it does wonders for growing really fond of yourself, beyond what I’ve gotten from six cycles on Khan(perhaps because I’ve run it prematurely). From what you’ve written, you’ll want to get to the point where you are no longer self-conscious about age differences or feel the need for expensive pheromones/perfumes, because both are rooted in lack of self-esteem. Why would you want to defer to what society dictates to you about what is proper or not? You set the rules(within reasonable bounds).
I don’t think that Leonardo DiCaprio has ever been seen with a woman that is over 19. Why should it just be him that is allowed to do that?
You see a woman you like, you approach her or let her approach you. Take it from there.

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#170

Props to you JAnon.
Confidence is built in small steps.
Well done.

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#171

Thanks @GoldenBird and @KingR

Started a new cycle today, I decided to go with Love Bomb and Ascension and listen to them both three times a week.

Went with a full loop of both last night as relaxing before sleep. Had some interesting dreams.
Woke with a fury at my father - there is a childhood and adolescent wound here around never having really ‘stood up’ to his bullying tactics or forcefully exerted my own adolescent masculinity to seperate my will from his, that haunts me now as a diminished sense of self.

I find myself amidst a certain anxiety, reminding myself as if a mantra, I am my own man. I am my own man.

Meditation helped to bring some balance into the mix this morning, and then I affirmed for positive self-image. Went to the gym and broke some plateus which was pretty great.

I find myself wondering - how to talk to women at the gym - I did some hit-and-run complements on Saturday out in the streets, and I’ll do some more this weekend, but like there’s a couple women at the gym I’m sweet on. It’s a bit more claustrophobic in there.

I’ll bring in SSX when I have some disposable income to purchase it. An SSX/SMX custom would also appeal to help with following-through.

This week I’ll continue with gym, Muay thai, learning SEO, working on my art, having some social contact, doing my ME work, meditation, etc.

#172

I also got some hair loss treatments (like topical dutasteride, minoxidil, a derminator) and have started a proper hairline recovery treatment regime. Feels good to be taking care of myself.

#173

7 mins each of Love Bomb and Ascension last night.

Gone through a couple days with heightened emotion, victim-mentality thought loops, that then resolve and break into more peace and expansiveness.

Getting over a cold, so missed therapy and a social event this week.

Still planning to see friends on Friday, and to go complement some ladies on Saturday.

Patterns around standing up for myself, stating my needs and boundaries.
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t, but awareness of this topic is increasing.

#174

Gym went well today, I moved to a twice-a-week fullbody routine with less volume but really pushing the intensity of my sets up. Last week I was repping out like 4-5 chins and dips on the olympic rings, that is up to 6 now. Going to push to 8, then introduce some weight.

OK SO I notice this pattern of wanting to approach girls AND ALSO a timidity in that I would want to eject myself quickly. Like say hi, complement, and get the fuck out of there.

I think that is ok for this week, let me get used to acting on the impulse to approach, that is step 1. And realising that most women will be at least -polite- about it, and probably appreciative. Step 2 is going to be to stay present and extend the interaction… being present with any butterflies without moving.

There was a woman at the gym I noticed today I was dead-set on approaching at the end of my workout (I only noticed here like 3-4 mins before the end of my workout), she glanced at me a few times also. But she moved the fack away and I didn’t see her when it came time.

#175

Kinda torn between adding Sanguine or SSX.

Because there is still a lot of nervous energy about me, PTSD stuff, and having a salve to help wash away that tension sounds so damn luxuriously welcome right now.

I imagine that kind of calm and freedom would be very liberating as well when interacting with women.

#176

Last night I listened to 3 minutes each of Khan Black 3 (first listen), Love Bomb and Ascension.

Had some great energy today with my 3d art.
Some peaceful meditation and satisfying creative visualisation/affirmation time.
Some annoyance and irritability.

Worked with consistent energy on my art today. Going out soon this evening.
Tomorrow I’ll do morning practices then focus on going out and talking to new people. No more subs until Monday.