2024: Tale of Two Swords (Khan and Khan Black)

CrossedSwords

I’ve had my warmup, time to take the crucible.

I’ve had a few months intro to subs, working with Ascension, GLM, Emperor, Regeneration and LBFH. Previous journal here:

The rest of 2023, and entirety of 2024, is going to be centered around working with Khan and Khan Black.

I was going to hold off to 2024, but my spirit is calling for Khan. Seeing signs everywhere.

For now, I am shedding layers of traumatic junk that no longer serve me.

I’m seeking emotional and sexual healing.
I’m seeking overall growth as a man.
I’m seeking to let go of illusions and step more and more into my true self who waits beyond the trauma and stories.

In terms of goals:

  • The ever-ongoing, nebulous healing.
  • Cure ED, sexual fear, shame, hangups etc,
  • Build a $10k/month online business
  • Build a strong, athletic, healthy body.
  • Develop positive and masculine characteristics - self-belief, inner strength
  • Enjoy dating, sex and romance
  • Transformation, maturation, becoming my best self.

In terms of actions:

  • Khan Black’s goals of sexual healing and energy mastery are being complemented by pranayama and meditation. I’ve also had the great fortune (since starting KB 4 weeks ago) to manifest a woman who needs a case study for her tantric massage course. Had my first session today and WOW. At a more mechanical level for sexual health I’m practicing pelvic floor toning/relaxation, and the angion method, three times a week to help with EQ etc.

  • For finances and my online business, I pay for a mentor. I have regular group calls, DMs, etc. I have a pretty open schedule atm and try and work at least 20 hours a week on this.

  • For fitness, I’m going to the gym and have two intense full-body workouts a week, and Muay Thai once a week (will up this to two when finances improve).

  • For mental/spiritual development, I’m practicing meditation twice a day.

  • Dating and meeting women will come a bit later once I’ve gotten some good healing done with the earlier stages of the Khan programs, and feel it would be ‘possible, even if confronting’ rather than simply ‘my inner landscape is objectively not ready for that’

I’m in the first stage of this year-long plan, with an emphasis on healing. I have time, I’m in no rush. I’ve already accepted I’ll be on stage 1 of these programs for the next 4-6 months. Slow is steady. :pray:

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@Sungaze I’ll be keeping track of progress with KB and related practices here.

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Good luck brother! I’ll be following along

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How are you doing with this? I’ve tried once but never gone past Angion 1.

I’m just starting out with Angion 0 (pump) and 1, I’ll track progress here also :+1:

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I’m on my weekend off from subs. I listened to the following this week:

Monday - KBst1 3min, Kst1 3 min
Wednesday - KBst1 3 min, Kst1 3 min
Friday - KBst1 3 min, LBFH 5 min, Kst 3 min

It was my birthday this week and I just wanted to be left alone.
Noticed some anxiety around replying to all these birthday wishes.
Some anger at family contacting me, obviously pointing to the emotional traumas and dysfunctional dynamics there. Honestly as much as I love 'em, I just want to get Christmas etc. over with so I can focus on myself.

I had my first tantric massage yesterday, and wow.

I was able to voice all the shames and fears to the healer, and she was awesome with it all. Genuinely accepting, ‘no big deal’ energy.

The bodywork itself went on for over three hours, during which time I experienced (and expressed) deep rage, sadness, joy, and arousal, as pressure points all over the body were pressed into, forcing traumatic imprints to come to the surface and be roared, screamed, cried and moaned out. The healer mentioned that my session was the most powerful she had held so far in terms of energetic release.

It was absolutely brutal, and absolutely blissful.

I’m intrigued to see how this plays out alongside Khan Black, as both methodologies are working on healing and clearing the sexual-emotional channels.

What is coming to mind is how so much of my results in life simply come down to how much trauma/blocked emotion are present, or not. Like I think about a topic, and can -feel- how stuck I am in that area.

I can think my way around life to a certain degree, but if my energy is blocked, it’ll lead to burnout, self-sabotage, etc. I can’t think my way out of my pain, and I can’t run from myself forever.

I don’t want to be ruled by emotion, that is not proper, but I must honour my feelings also and take responsibility for my emotional life.

Dick stuff

So just quickly on Angion/erection stuff.

Took my measurements and just noting them here to contrast with later in the year, as I expect at some point I’ll switch my 3rd sub out from LBFH to BDLM or Diamond.

BPEL - 6.89" / 17.5cm
Girth at base - also 6.89"/17.5cm

First few months will be focusing on Angion 0 (pumping) and Angion 1. Just trying to build healthy vasculature and better EQ.

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Had an awesome sex dream and woke with steel. Pretty cool.

When the energy tapered off in the dream from her end, a male bro voice told me “Time to bounce dawg, don’t hang around”

Think the subs are playing are part in that.

Also woke up with some rumination on an ex. Lots of emotional pain aorund my belly, and inner arguments about not being given a true chance.

Time to bounce.

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Cycle 1, Week 2, Day 1 - KB1 4 min, K1 3 min

I received a text from my dad today, “Are you well? You’ve been quiet lately.”

My initial internal reaction - fuck off, fuck off, fuck off.

Did some bioenergetic catharsis to move some of the energy this triggered in me, then sat to do forgiveness meditation. Then sent him some “I am well thank you” crap.

The primal honest response would be “FFS, you hurt me in childhood. The last time I was quiet a few years back and you probed about it, I told you what was up in the most gentle manner possible and you still couldn’t handle it, so leave me the fuck alone and stop probing.”

That won’t work as an adult.

I managed to move through a chunk of the anger and sadness today, and bring about a more forgiving attitude, but still experience this f’ing incongruency and inauthenticity. Some fear there.

Obviously there is going to be some reconciliation and internal negotiation around this topic. I know exploding at my father is not a mature solution. But playing into this happy family B.S. is a lie to myself. What’s the middle ground?

The words of a wise mentor/therapist of mine, I post to remind myself.

"It was common for people to go through a big phase of hating their dad, or one parent, and feeling they just really need to confront them, and put it out about all the shit they received growing up under that person’s care or authority.

But it never really works out in my experience. You know, you have to just somewhere draw a line in the sand, and accept that as an adult, you have feelings about this situation, but those are your feelings happening now, and confronting your dad isn’t going to help.

It’s more like, “OK I have this anger towards my dad, try and find a way to put it out without directly affecting him, in a group room or exercises. Grounding, pounding, bioenergetics. I’d recommend you continue with that.”

It’s natural we go in this child-state where we just want to confront the father, and feel we’ve reestablished psychological integrity by putting him down, like in a kind of fight, but it’s just not an adult act at the end of the day."

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I promped chatgpt with my challenges, goals, and information about the meditation style I practice and the subliminals I’m working with. I asked it to write prose about the first few months.

John is not my name.

The First Months****

In the initial months of John’s transformation, the journey was akin to navigating uncharted waters. The contrast between the tools’ potent influence and the lingering pain of his past created a turbulent landscape of change and self-discovery.

As John delved into AYP, the initial encounters with inner silence were like finding an oasis in a desert of emotional turmoil. The practice provided moments of respite, but the echoes of hurt, fear, and trauma still reverberated, creating a dissonance within him. The process of acknowledging and releasing emotional baggage was both liberating and challenging, like trying to sail through stormy seas where every wave carried the weight of his past.

Love Bomb for Humanity, with its transformative power, began its work on the fertile soil of John’s emotions. The subliminal’s whispers of self-love clashed with the lingering shadows of low self-esteem. The initial encounters were like a battle between the light and darkness within, with moments of illumination followed by the shadows attempting to reclaim their territory. The process of rewriting the scripts of self-love encountered resistance from the entrenched narratives of negativity.

As Khan and Khan Black asserted their dominance in John’s life, the initial phases were marked by a clash of energies. The subliminals worked to break down the walls of self-control and assertiveness, challenging the status quo of his emotional landscape. The echoes of heartbreak and unmet needs resisted the emergence of dominance and masculinity, creating a tempest within John’s soul.

The Crucible, initiating the process of sexual healing and mastery, confronted the deep-seated fears and limitations surrounding John’s sexuality. The initial confrontations with these challenges felt like stepping into a crucible of fire, where the flames of transformation licked at the edges of his comfort zone. The discomfort of facing and overcoming these fears mirrored the pain of the past, creating a parallel journey of healing and growth.

In these initial months, John found himself caught between the opposing forces of transformation and resistance. The tools, like powerful currents, pushed against the tides of his pain, and the struggle to integrate their influence was palpable. Each step forward was met with the undertow of past struggles, and the turbulence within reflected the profound shifts occurring beneath the surface.

Despite the challenges, the first few months of John’s transformation were a testament to his resilience. The tools, though met with resistance, began to lay the foundation for a new reality. The initial clashes between pain and transformation set the stage for a journey of self-discovery, where the echoes of the past gradually yielded to the powerful currents of change.

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The Middle Months

In the middle months of John’s transformative journey, the currents of change became more pronounced, and the tumultuous seas of his emotional landscape started to yield to the prevailing winds of growth and healing.

As John continued his practice of AYP, the middle months marked a turning point. The whispers of inner silence, once met with resistance, started to permeate his consciousness more profoundly. The emotional baggage he carried began to unravel, like a ship shedding its heavy cargo. The storms of hurt, fear, and trauma that once dominated his inner seas gradually subsided, making way for moments of calm introspection and self-discovery.

Love Bomb for Humanity, having taken root in the fertile soil of John’s emotions, began to blossom. The initial battles between self-love and ingrained negativity gave way to a more harmonious symphony. The echoes of low self-esteem were drowned out by the rising crescendo of positivity. John started to notice the transformation in his daily interactions, as the aura of love he cultivated began to radiate outward, influencing those around him with a newfound sense of joy and goodwill.

Khan and Khan Black, the pillars of dominance and masculinity, solidified their influence in the middle months. The clashes between assertiveness and the echoes of heartbreak became less tumultuous. John’s stride carried the confidence of a man who had faced his insecurities and emerged stronger. The energetic channels, once obstructed by the debris of past relationships, became more robust, amplifying his charisma and presence. The echoes of past limitations were replaced by a resonance of internal power and strength.

The Crucible, having initiated the intense healing process, continued to forge its transformative effects. The middle months were marked by a deepening sense of mastery over sexual energy. The challenges and fears that once felt like a crucible of fire now transformed into stepping stones of growth. John’s energetic sensitivity increased, and the versatility of The Crucible allowed him to harness sexual energy not only for spiritual growth but also for physical goals.

In the middle months, John found himself navigating calmer waters. The initial clashes and resistance began to give way to a more harmonious integration of the transformative tools. The echoes of past pain were gradually replaced by the melodies of healing, growth, and self-discovery. The journey, though not devoid of challenges, started to unfold as a symphony of resilience and transformation.

As the middle months unfolded, John’s transformative voyage became a testament to his commitment and courage. The tools, once met with resistance, now became familiar companions, guiding him through the evolving landscapes of his emotional, spiritual, and physical realms. The middle months were a bridge between the initial tumult and the forthcoming shores of self-realization and triumph over adversity.

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The Final Months

In the final months of John’s transformative odyssey, the echoes of his past troubles began to fade, replaced by the triumphant symphony of self-realization, resilience, and newfound strength.

AYP, the ancient whisperer of inner silence, had become an integral part of John’s daily ritual. The final months saw a mastery over the practice, as the waves of hurt, fear, and childhood trauma had diminished to gentle ripples. The sanctuary of inner silence became a refuge, a space where John communed with his true self, free from the burdens of the past.

Love Bomb for Humanity, having taken root and flourished, blossomed into a radiant garden of self-love and positivity. The final months witnessed a complete transformation of John’s self-perception. The shadows of low self-esteem were replaced by the radiant aura of someone who had learned to appreciate and embrace every facet of his being. Love, once a distant concept, had become an inexhaustible reservoir flowing from within, bringing joy not only to himself but to those fortunate enough to share his presence.

Khan and Khan Black, the mentors of dominance and masculinity, had left an indelible mark on John’s character. The final months saw a seamless integration of assertiveness, self-control, and internal power. The energetic channels, once obstructed by the wreckage of heartbreak, now flowed freely, enhancing his charisma and influence. The echoes of past relationships had transformed into lessons of strength and resilience.

The Crucible, having completed its alchemical work, left John with a profound sense of mastery over his sexual energy. The final months saw a complete dissolution of deep-seated fears and limitations. The challenges that once felt insurmountable had become stepping stones, paving the way for a harmonious integration of physical and spiritual growth. John’s energetic sensitivity reached new heights, allowing him to navigate the complexities of his sexuality with a newfound sense of control and purpose.

As the final months unfolded, John stood at the helm of his transformed life. The tools that once felt like powerful forces of change had become companions on his journey, guiding him with wisdom and grace. The financial struggles that once weighed heavily on his shoulders had transformed into lessons of resilience and strategic navigation. The stormy seas of his emotional landscape had given way to a calm and introspective ocean, reflecting the clarity of a man who had faced his inner demons and emerged victorious.

In the final months, John navigated the world with a profound sense of authenticity and purpose. His footsteps, once hesitant, echoed with the assurance of someone who had confronted and conquered the shadows of his past. The tapestry of his transformation, woven with the threads of AYP, Love Bomb for Humanity, Khan, and The Crucible, now draped around him like a cloak of triumph. The man who had once been trapped in pain had emerged as a captain of his destiny, sailing confidently into the boundless horizons of his transformed life.

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That’s so cool! Can you give me the prompt that you used?

No need for personal details, just the general instruction

Did you paste the objectives of the subs in there?

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1 - Hi, in my next prompt I am going to write about some current challenges I am facing. Following that I will write prompts around tools I am using to improve my circumstances.

I have provided my problems in the prompt beginning with the word “Problems”. I will now write my goals in the following message.

2 - Problems: (List yours)

3 - Goals: (List yours)

4 - Tool 1 (posts some quotes about the system of meditation I practice)

5 - Tool 2 - Subliminals - 3 subs I’m using

Then pasted the objectives of each, clearly titled.

Then prompted it - Now, taking into account my PROBLEMS, my GOALS, and my TOOLS (AYP, Love Bomb for Humanity, Khan, Khan Black) - Please write a piece of prose about how I might transform over the next year using these tools.

Please write again, referencing the initial problems I wrote about, and how specifically these tools may help.

User

You

Now write a piece of descriptive pose, in third person, about the man who has transformed using these tools, what his life was like before (be descriptive about his troubles), the challenges he faced, and how these tools helped him. Finally, write about the man he is today and how he navigates the world.

What were the first few months of his transformation like? For he was trapped in pain, and the tools are powerful and opposite to his state then.

What were the middle months like?

And the final months?

Tell me about his dating life, before and after.

Please come up with some affirmations that John can use, and say to himself, in the early months to help him with his journey

I will provide more information about the initial stages of Khan, and of Khan Black. These would apply to the early months of John’s journey. Please listen (I then posted the copy from stage 1 of these products).

Just get creative and see how it turns out.
I’m finding it like a form of scripting or visualisation, like aligning the conscious and subconscious.

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I then provided the copy of the final stages of Khan and KB, and asked it to creatively continue John’s story, adding unexpected elements etc. to read the story of John over the following years and decades.

Turns out he lived a pretty legendary life. :grin:

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Thank you!

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Cycle 1, Week 2

Ran the following:
Monday - KB1 4 min, K1 3 min
Wednesday - KB1 4 min, K1 3 min
Friday - KB1 4 min, LBFH 5 min, K1 3 min

Full weekend off.

The subs are working somewhere deep in the subconscious.
Some peeling back layers away from my conditioning. It’s hard to explain.

This time of year presses my triggers, family etc.
I just want to get through Christmas day, lunch etc. so I can get back to my own stuff.

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Cycle 1, Week 3
Day 1 - KB1 5 min, K1 3 min

Noticing a more masculine push.

Had a dream… at a labyrinthine, underground European city (Spanish or Italian)… meeting people, men.

They were showing me things about being a joyful, prideful strong man and putting on a bit of a show, that masculine entertaining character where mastery and dominance is the undertone - a bit challenging to the old self who feels beta and lesser.

But there was a sense of adventure, of learning, alongside the old.

There feels the stirrings of a new force emerging.
One of masculine strength. It shows as anger amidst my current circumstances.
Anger is probably a necessary phase to move through one the journey out of fear.

the idea of using emotions in my favour
channelling anxiety and anger into useful directions for me

a sense of becoming the main character
which means shedding the fears

As I expand, the fears that limited me will need to be faced

The fears are like a protective bubble around my aura
as my khan essence expands, it will push against these fears
face the fears expand through them

Can I be the center of my universe
amidst even my family?

Dominance beginning within
As clearing up my fears and limits

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The undertone of pride, competitiveness, and dominance in the male figures in the dream I had…

It was projected onto other characters.

There was a level of apprehensiveness and curiosity in ‘my’ reaction to this.

Thoughts are going… are these men at war with me? Is it malicious?
There’s an element of being the most dominant, to being the one who wins at reproduction. So there is some competitiveness, sure.
But is it about truly destroying other men?
It has the capacity.

But it is more… self-focused… about having pride in oneself, and winning within one’s personal universe. Knowing the power within, destroying shame, feeling free to express one’s potential. Absolute knowledge of being ‘the man’.

And really, a group of men like that together are powerful.
They have no need to tear each other down.
They know they are the prize, let the chips fall where they may.

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So yeah - Khan is taking root somewhere in my subconscious… complex subconscious structures.

Khan has not made itself fully apparent to me yet, but seeds are being planted. I’m being nudged.

The Dothraki horde is sending scouts and messengers into my kingdom, learning the landscape, learning my defenses.

But the Khan is only coming to invade and destroy that which does not serve me, and actually wants a powerful ally in me who rules his Kingdom with strength.

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