Year of the Sexcessful Emperor

  • Happy New Years Eve everyone. I hope you are all celebrating in whatever way brings you joy, and I wish you all happiness and incredible progress toward your goals in 2022!

  • I’m going to be running Dominus Maximus later than usual this evening so that it runs across midnight and into the new year. If you ask me the best way to start a year is with the sub you’re going to be using to achieve your goals playing.
    Well, the best I can get since I don’t have two nubile twenty year olds available at the moment.
    It’s good symbolism. It shows my subconscious, the universe that it’s time to hit the ground running. Last year was mostly about healing the deep inner crap that’s been holding me back for most of my life, and it is healed. It becomes clearer and clearer every day that I am Reborn as a better, stronger man.
    I have gotten into the habit of starting my subliminal plan for the year on the winter solstice and using the time between that and new year’s as sort of a transition and ramp up period.
    Now it’s time to hit it hard.

  • At this time in several previous years, I said “this is going to be our year” or “this is the year it all gets better. And I meant it. But I was relying on the power of positive thinking or some damn thing.
    This year is the year I MAKE it our year, and I MAKE everything get better and start to get the things we want.

Let’s punch 2022 in the butthole

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It’s ours to punch Bro!

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  • Someone hit on my wife. Not in front of me, but he knew she was married. It was some dude who works at the grocery store.
    You’d figure this would piss me off, but no, I just found the whole incident and especially how she reacted to it to be funny.
    She described the incident to me, and wasn’t sure if he was actually hitting on her.
    That’s the funny part. It couldn’t get any more blatant from the sound of it (quite clumsy actually) and she still wasn’t sure. She had it in her mind that guys don’t hit on her and aren’t attracted to her. She actually has some of the same problems that I used to. It does happen and she either doesn’t notice in the first place or edits the story so thats not really what happened. Getting hit on doesn’t fit her self image.
    Both me and the roommate who was also there said that if he said that he meant it even if he said it jokingly.
    She kept bringing it up. I’m actually glad that she got an ego and confidence boost out of it, she deserves it, but I also sensed that she was trying to get some kind of jealousy reaction out of me. It’s a test I guess.
    Nope.
    I was both internally and externally non reactive.
    Why? I don’t know the guy, but I’m better than him and she knows it. We do have an open relationship at my insistence so she’s free to, but she won’t do it. There is no chance of her finding an upgrade on me, so the trying to invoke jealousy game won’t work.
    I on the other hand have gotten more than a couple of out of the blue offers over the years, some of which I acted on, and now that I’m looking at my story without the low self image blinders on, I see that I am a very desirable man and always have been.
    I have never felt like this about myself. This is amazing.
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  • RICH keeps rockin and rollin. I just looked at my bank account and there was another large amount of money from an unexpected source. We are going to be OK, and I can even get myself something I want.
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    **1/2/22  CYCLE 1 WEEK 3 STACK A**
  • I am feeling very relaxed and very optimistic going into 2022. I can see good things happening that seemed like they were fantasies before. DR has done it’s job and done it well.

  • The wife and I discussed it this morning, and she is actually thinking of perusing something with that guy who hit on her. Some might think that this was a bad thing, but she also got a lot more open about me going after other partners myself.
    She says that this is the first time since me that a new guy showed interest in her. I doubt that that’s true, but she had a low opinion of her attractiveness so while it’s probably happened, she would be unlikely to acknowledge it to herself.
    When we got together I told her in no uncertain terms that I did not do monogamy and that she could take it or leave it. She told me that she didn’t want to know if I did, so while there have been a few hookups and a friend with benefits over the years, I have had to almost act like I was cheating, and I’ve left a lot of opportunities on the table because of it.
    This actually might be turning into something much closer to my ideal relationship.

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  • Life got disrupted in a couple ways for the last few weeks, and I hadn’t been doing my oral board practice.
    I did it tonight, and DAMN, it was a HUGE improvement! My smoothness, voice modulation, and everything else was a lot better. If I keep the work up, I’m sure to get the job I’m looking for.
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  • The whole episode with my wife is just strange to me. Something is shifting in our relationship, and believe it or not, it’s for the better.
    As we discussed this, she has expressed more appreciation for me than she has in years, and also for the first time, understanding and acceptance of my aversion to monogamy.
    I actually expressed what bothered me about the whole situation. That’s something that I’d have kept to myself not too long ago. It’s not that she is attracted to another guy. Hell, I don’t understand people who aren’t attracted to people other than their partners. That is a totally alien concept to me.
    What bugged me was that while I told her in no uncertain terms that I would not commit to monogamy when we got together, she spent a long time and a lot of energy trying to change that throughout our relationship. Then once she appears to have a prospect, everything changes.
    I expressed that, and she did something she rarely ever does. She admitted that she was wrong and apologized. Profusely.
    The funny thing is that I don’t think anything is actually going to happen between her and this guy, but the incident frees me up to live that part of my life as I want to anyway.
    I’ve hooked up with a number of girls in the last years, but I’ve left a lot more opportunities on the table out of consideration of her feelings. I don’t have to do that anymore.
    I can’t wait to try out my attraction stack.
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  • Recon hits me differently on this stack. A few hours after I run either DM or my ZPs I’ll get a kind of empty feeling coupled with a little formless anxiety. It’s really not bad, and doesn’t usually last longer than I’m at work.
    I usually feel a lot better when I wake up the next afternoon too.
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I’m (im)patiently awaiting ZP customs. and hoping we can get 3 (or more) “ZP cores” in one custom.

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Me too Bro. Me too.

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  • The wife says she is probably not going to get a FWB. She also said without me asking that she is perfectly OK with it if I do so long as I don’t neglect her. She even apologized for being so against it for so long because of her insecurities.
    All this without the slightest trace of manipulation or emotional blackmail.
    She says that her insecurities are a lot more controllable with her new psych meds (MS = depression and other mood problems)
    She also says she is now able to talk herself out of her angry states. She has been acting a lot less out of control lately. I think that Paragon is playing a role as well as the meds.
    It seems that some stars are aligning, and I’m sure that the subs have something to do with it.
    Come to think of it, both of these things are her showing me an increased level of respect. It’s just kinda more subtle than I expected.
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  • I ordered myself a new leather jacket with some of my Christmas money. It’s a bit of an edgier style, something I’d have worn in my late teens and twenties.
    It came today, much earlier than expected. When I tried it on two things happened. First, the wife said “You look HHHOOOOT!” and had a look on her face that I haven’t seen in quite a while. I could practically see her drooling.
    Second, when I looked in the mirror I thought “I look like ME again”.
    I think that’s part of my goal for this year. Bring back parts of ME that have been lost because of mental shit that’s gotten in my way over the years. I want to actually become the guy who I felt myself becoming when I was nineteen or so, before that got derailed.
    I always did project a bit of a bad boy/badass image even if I couldn’t express it fully due to confidence issues. Now that DR has done its work, I can fully be the man I want to be. An upgraded, more mature version of who I tried to be when I was young.
    This is shaping up to be a very interesting year.

  • So this week and next I’m working seven twelve hour shifts. It’s rough, but the paychecks are going to be bloody massive. RICH fucking rocks.

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  • The recon I noticed the other day must be coming from DM because I’m not getting any from RICH and Chosen. No real surprise, that’s a big dense sucker and the social stuff is going to push me to make some big changes from my baseline. At least not that feels at all bad, or that I really recognize as recon.
    I am getting some pretty strange thoughts though. They all center on kind of reconnecting with the me from twenty or so years ago. Not so much the guy I actually was he had some emotional issues, but the guy I was trying to be. The image that I projected as best as I could to the world and myself. I liked that guy. I still do. He’s fun, adventurous, and badass. The challenge is going to be figuring out how to be him as a fully functional adult.
    I thought of a name I used back in the day for the first time in I don’t know how many years last week. It was a cheesy persona name that I used in activities that involved fighting with fake swords and the like, but I really identified with it for quite a few years. I’m not going to use it because if anyone who knew me back in the day happens to be here, I’d be telling them exactly who I am.
    The phrase that goes through my mind is (that name) lives, and (that name) forever, which may become the name of a custom subliminal at some point.
    Tonight I ordered some clothing that I’d have worn in that period. This is an interesting development.
    Once again this might be at least partly after effects from DR. As in I’ve cleaned out all of the crap that was preventing me from being that guy and now I can get back on track and do it right.
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  • I feel a lot more positive today than I did on my last processing day from DM.
    Since I go into a washout after my DM loop tomorrow, I am considering trying EmperorZP instead of that for the next cycle. I am kind of curious about what that one will do, and I might get faster results from it than from DM. On the other hand, I like the concept of having Daredevil in there.
    It looks like I may have a bit more of a chance to test the social aspects of this coming up. Soon I won’t have to work quite as much and might actually have the opportunity to have a life.

  • I can see the path through for us now as far as money is concerned. It doesn’t feel like a fantasy like it used to. The wife has her disability hearing in the beginning of February, and I see it going well. Until then, I see exactly how we are going to make it to the point she starts getting paid. I also only see a positive result coming from the hearing.

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What’s DM?

Dominus Maximus

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Dominus Maximus thank you.

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  • The wife’s attitude toward me has really changed. It’s been shifting for a few months really, maybe even throughout the Year of the DE, but it’s like a switch was flipped in the last couple of weeks.
    Every day she thanks me for sacrificing so much to get us through the financial problems, says how lucky she is to have me, and what an awesome partner I am.
    There is a bit of a dark side to that in that she rips on herself when she does it. It’s very clear that she now sees me as higher value than her.
    It’s a full 180 from the superioristic, hypercritical harpy spawn that I was considering divorcing a couple of years ago when I started status and masculinity subs. This is what lies on the other side of the hostile reaction to me beginning the journey.
    As soon it comes out in ZP I’m going to see if I can get her on Ascension for Women. It is still a problem that I’ve grown a lot more than her.
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  • This is the last run before my washout week. I’m going to try Emperor ZP instead of DM. From what I’ve been reading it sounds like it might do pretty much everything I wanted DM to do anyway, so I’m going to run a loop and see what I notice.
    I’m also taking a seven day washout instead of just five. I’ll be resuming next Sunday.
    Why? For no other reason than I want to keep things to even weeks because it makes it easier to keep track of.
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