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This is interesting. A female classmate of mine from high school just got in touch with me to let me know that she has a layover at the airport where I live and made it very clear that she’d like to meet up.
I didn’t know this girl all that well during high school, but she connected with me on social media a few years ago. She made it very clear that she’d been interested in me at the time. She initiates interactions with me that come off kind of weird, but she kept doing it and in a way that made me think that she’s looking for something.
I don’t know whats going to happen, she’s only got a few hours in town, but I’m open to finding out, and maybe trying to make something happen if I feel like it. -
Does anyone have experience with The Commander? I’m considering putting it in my Khan custom instead of Diamond or RICH. I’ve heard that it creates a major productivity drive, helps with hesitancy problems, and gives off a kind of badass presence. Is that accurate?
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I saw some meme last night that said something about how if you ask a girl out and she says no, leave her alone and don’t keep trying. It was coming from the perspective of respecting her and not harassing her. Typical stuff these days telling boys to slink off into a corner and not offend girls by so much as a look.
I thought about it and I realized that I agree with the original statement. If I found myself back on the market as a young guy, I wouldn’t ask a girl out twice. However, it’s not because I’d be afraid of annoying her highness. It’s because if I put the time and mental effort into putting myself out there and she didn’t appreciate it. That can be quite emotionally difficult. Why would I give her a second chance.
I think like that now.
Dude, this looks like a beast!
I’m going to steal most of it haha; I would like 3 changes in there
- Seducers Gaze → Sex Mastery
- Instant Spark → Inner gasoline (get some energy from all those sexual modules and khan itself)
- The Boundary → commander for determination, silent push to do stuff, not emperor/executive style
I always use Commander when running Khan and I cannot recommend it enough: it builds upon Khan’s foundation and it gives confidence and productivity in line with Khan’s energy. It complements Khan really really well in my experience.
Feel free, I might steal a couple of your changes.
I definitely think I’m going to throw The Commander in there instead of Diamond. As fun as Diamond sounds, Commander fits better for my actual goals for the year.
I think I’m also going to get rid of Machine Action and Machine Rest for Debt Annihilator (still necessary unfortunately) because I should get the effects I’m looking for out of those from Commander.
Since I’ve had no problem staying on a workout plan anyway, I also think I’ll replace Extreme Exercise motivation with Inner Gasoline.
well, think twice about exercise motivation. You had no problem staying on a workout plan, but you were running Emperor. You will lose some of that drive with Khan, I would definitely keep it there.
Interesting. I thought that Khan gave a lot of drive.
Well, it’s not even close to Emperor in my experience. Maybe 20% of Emperor.
I may get the productivity back by having Mogul in there. And I hear Commander is awesome for drive and discipline.
Hell, if I really wanted to go nuts, I’d just keep Emperor. That sounds insane, but I’ve got a solid year on it already so the script would be nothing new to my subconscious.
I’ll have to think on that.
- Kind of a rough morning. I found out that I’m not going to be working so much overtime in a couple of weeks, and it caused me some stress.
I do know that two more people are leaving though, so that won’t last forever.
- OK, you know what? I was having a similar argument with myself last year over wether to run DR for the healing or Emperor for the success. I was afraid of combining two big programs like that, but I did, and it worked really well over a full year run. I got the healing and the success drive, discipline, increased status, everything.
Fuck it. I’m going to go whole hog. 2022 is the year of the Imperial Khan. And this year I have the added advantage of Emperor being very familiar already.
I see this as being an ultimate Alpha combo that’ll get me all of my goals.
I’m getting excited to try it out.
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I just realized something about why my life is the way it is at the moment.
An analysis of my previous and current relationships, romantic and otherwise shows that I am codependent, or now I might be able to say I WAS codependent. I had a need to be needed, and I don’t know if I felt worthless when I didn’t have to be holding someone who couldn’t do it themselves up, but looking back, I sure as hell did lose any semblance of focus and direction when I didn’t have that.
The first girl I got involved with had horribly abusive parents which lead (at least according to her) to her having severe emotional and mental problems. Normal guys wouldn’t go near her, or at least wouldn’t stay near her once they spotted the international avenue worth of red flags.
Me though. Not so much.
I had found someone who needed to be SAVED.
The role of the savior really fit me, and gradually things shifted until saving her become my purpose. Seriously, the more I think about it, it really was the number one thing on my mind (besides sex of course, I WAS a teenage boy)
For her part, she played her role masterfully. She acted as completely helpless as she could and relied on me to get her through the last couple of years that she had to be with her abusive parents.
I did that. I pretty much arranged for her to go to college where she wanted to but had given up on because her parents had said no. Then, once we’d graduated she “had to get out” of her parents house because she “wouldn’t make it” another three months. So I arranged for her to live with my mom for that time, and leave for college from there.
The last thing she said to me before boarding the bus was “you got me out”.
That should have felt like mission accomplished. It didn’t though, I just felt sadness and what I thought was missing her. It was kind of devastating.
Here’s the insight. It wasn’t her that I was missing. It was my sense of purpose. It was the self validation of seeing myself as the hero. As soon as she left, she didn’t need me anymore and I no longer had anyone to “save”. When the mission was accomplished, I no longer had one.
This whole thing started with feeling obligated to “save” my father, but when it got entangled with my sex drive with girlfriend #1 it really became a deeply ingrained part of my psyche.
Matter of fact, I’ve never really been able to focus on what I want for myself, or really even figure out what that is. No wonder I’m having trouble finding my passion even now.
After that, I kind of spun out in college. Just didn’t focus on it.
Every other relationship Ive had until my wife seemed like someone who couldn’t do it on her own and needed me, and the wife developed into that due to her disease. -
I got on that whole train of thought because I was annoyed and wondering how I got myself into a situation where I have two other adults living in the house and yet I’m doing almost all of the work of any kind.
I’m vulnerable to helplessness, real or faked. Now I know why.
They weren’t kidding about DR giving you an understanding of how you tick.
- Annnnnd, I may be stacking the Imperial Khan with the QZP Alpha Leadership title.
Or would that be a bit much? I might wake up to find that I’ve taken over the world in my sleep.
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I had a really fun day with the family today. We went to this thing with animatronic dinosaurs and it really blew my four year old’s mind. It was just one of those days that make it all worth it.
I was very comfortable in a somewhat crowded space. That’s an improvement, I’ve had the usual crowd issues you get from being a correctional officer for a long time.
Today though, I was able to relax and actually have a good time. I felt happier than I have in a long time. -
I have kind of a recurring daydream. I am able to go back in time to the year between the time I failed out of the first college I went to, and moved out of state to go to the second.
I don’t know everything I do now, but I’m able to bring subs back with me so I can experience the changes I am now back then.
My DR insight for today is why I choose that year. It is because that is the last year I lived with my parents who were the major outside factor that lead to most of my issues.
The thought that came up was that after that year all of the mental damage that was done to me was generated inside of my own mind. Not that a lot of it before that wasn’t, but it was all me doing it to myself from that point on.
**Stage 4 Cycle 2 Week 4**
- This morning my wife actually thanked me for staying with her mental problems and her taking them out on me. That’s an amazing acknowledgment from her. One I never thought I’d hear.
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I just ordered two books on persuasive language. That will be my reading material for when I’m listening to my ultima for a while.
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OK, I keep saying this, but I think I’ve got Imprrial Khan nailed down. It’s very focused, and yet has stuff for everything I want to get done in 22. This will either be epic or fry my brain.
Actually, I said something similar about DE and that worked extremely well so I’m sure that this will as well.
- Khan (12 weeks per stage)
- Emperor Core
- The Commander U Core
- Eye of the Storm
- Lifeblood Fable
- Iron Frame
- Machine Action
- Machine Rest
- Dragon Tongue
- Voice Master
- Storyteller
- Ultimate Writer
- Dynasty
- Soul Connection
- Alexander’s Play
- Seducers Gaze
17.Debt Annihilator - The Boundary
- Furious Ascent
- Mosaic
I even put a couple things in there to make me into a better family man.
- There are some phrases that keep going through my head. “Keep fighting and things get better day be day,”, and “make today a victory” are the big ones.
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Theres something else that I’ve noticed. When I’m feeling bad, I no longer have the sense that how I’m feeling right now is how I’m going to feel forever. Does that make sense to anyone? Of course, I intellectually knew that it would end, but that didn’t seem real when I was in the middle of something. Now I have a very visceral sense that “this too shall pass” no matter how bad it sucks in the moment.
That makes getting through things a hell of a lot easier. -
I’ve been thinking about next year again. I really want to try my imperial Khan idea for a year. But QZP customs most likely won’t be out by 12/21 or even by new year. I want to get the most effect out of that run, so I’d like to do the whole thing in ZP and not start it in one format and switch somewhere mid stream. If Khan became a single stage product as they say it might, that would be fine, but there is no guarantee that will happen.
What I’m thinking of doing is running the above custom with Daredevil instead of Khan until I can get QZP customs and then starting the year run.
That should get me the advantages of Emperor without being run over by a major healing sub plus the improvement in social skills. Should be worth running for a few months anyway. I can also supplement it with Wanted or RICH in QZP while I’m at it.
- I was feeling a bit of recon after my loops, but it went away when I worked out. My mind felt very clear after.
I was thinking about purpose. I figured out a while back that I crave it, and feel it’s lacking, but I’ve been having a hard time defining what it meant to me, let alone starting to work toward it.
I thought back to the last time I felt good, like I was on the right track.
That would be before I kind of gave my purpose away for girlfriend #1 like I mentioned before. I made my purpose about someone else during that relationship and forgot my own. Forgot to even look for it.
So I think that step one here is to get back on track becoming the guy I felt myself turning into at about eighteen or nineteen.
The first thing I’ve got to do in order to get to that is make it to the next level. Get out of this situation where I have to do nothing but work just to keep my head above water so that I can reconnect with some of the things that made me feel like well, me back then. DR has cleared the way for me to actually do that on a mental level. Now I actually have to move the needle in the physical world.
That is goal #1 for next year.
- I’ve been having intense daydreams about re living the year I was living at home after flunking out of one college and moving away to start at another again. Of course, I am somehow able to bring Subclub subs back with me, and am somehow able to order customs through time (You guys don’t provide that service do ya?
) so I have the benefit of starting the mental changes I’m making now back then. Just for setting, in the, call it mental exercise, all I know is that it happened, and not anything about what is going to happen in the future. This is something that has gone through my mind since I was on subs, but especially this year on DE.
I’ve figured out that there are a number of reasons for it. It’s not just idle fantasy or wishful thinking. It’s serious mental training.
One is that there were a lot of moments in that year that were both teachable and pivotal. All of which I would have handled differently with the improvements I’ve made in the last couple of years on these subs. I would have done things differently even if I’d just started making them.
Tonight’s theme is setting boundaries.
The scene happens a little over a month after I’ve gotten back. I think that I’d assign myself to run an ascension based custom for that whole year (QZP naturally).
The actual event happened at a two week annual camping event that Girlfriend #2 turned me on to and I went to for a few years
The friend of #2’s who eventually became #4 arrived for the second week. She had been obsessed with me since meeting me the previous summer, but she lived halfway across the state and didn’t get to disrupt my life that much.
This event had a truly epic amount of debauchery so the evening she got there, I had female company in my tent. It was obvious to her, and I heard her have an emotional meltdown while I was shall we say, busy.
That killed the mood for me, so the girl soon left under the withering gaze of #4.
I talked to her about it the next day, but not like I should have. She acted like I had done something wrong, and like it was my fault that she was hurt.
For my part, I was sympathetic and apologetic. I did not directly say that I wasn’t interested, and I definitely didn’t in any way say that I wasn’t going to accept that kind of behavior.
After that, she actually chased several girls I was starting to have fun with off, both at the event and during the year after. She continued to stalk me for the rest of that year and eventually kind of coerced me into a brief, hellish cohabitation relationship. All because I couldn’t or wouldn’t draw a hard line.
This all could have been avoided. In that moment.
Here’s what I see myself doing.
ME: #4, we need to talk.
#4: (Gives me a hurt, angry, verge of tears look)
ME: This is going to be a very short talk.
#4: Do you even know what it did to me when I came back to hear you with some girl I (or something like that).
ME: (firm but not pissed off) You’ve been acting like you have some kind of claim on me. You don’t.
#4: But I recognized you as my soul mate the second I met you because (insert gibberish lifted from a bad fantasy romance here)
ME: The truth is, I don’t recognize you as a soul mate, and I don’t have any memory of what you’re talking about. We are not in a relationship. I’ve done nothing to give you the impression that we are. And with the way you’re acting, I can say that we never will be. I’m sorry if you feel bad about that, but I’m here to have a good time, and after this I’m not going to be getting into a serious relationship for at least a year because I’m taking the year to get my own shit together.
I’m sorry you feel hurt, but I’m not responsible for that.
#4. But but……… (tears, rending of garments, other assorted high drama).
ME: Sorry, but that’s how it’s going to be. I’ll talk to you tomorrow if you want to. (Struts off in search of more fun in a manner so alpha it can only be described as godlike).
What would she have done after that? Gotten drunk, ranted at anyone who would hold still and threatened suicide most likely. Perhaps wreck my tent or find a bunny to boil.
The thing is, I wouldn’t be around to watch or validate it. I’d let someone else take care of it. It wasn’t my fault and I had the option of not making it my problem.
Truth is that my wishy washy responses to her obsession and related behavior was unfair to both myself and her. It let her go on with the obsession for a couple more years and subjected me to her behavior as well.
Drawing a hard line like that and detaching from the situation would have been a lot better.
- That was a very intense immersive visualization. I think ME is kicking in.
Revision is a Neville Goddard technique that people claim actually changes the past. So apparently you can go back and relive your life having already had the subs from what I gather. I haven’t knowingly done such a thing myself yet my thing has been to let go of the emotional charge around the past and therefore free myself from it.
I think that what’s happening is more my mind training me on how to treat to similar situations by mentally putting me in predicaments that I’ve been in in the past and letting me act the way I would with the changes that the subliminals are making.
As far as I know the past is still the same.