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I’ve noticed that my job, which mostly involves sitting here isn’t driving me crazy anymore. I suppose I’m still bored, but it isn’t bothering me as much anymore.
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Come to think of it, I don’t remember ever being so calm. I’m not particularly worried about anything. While I am aware of significant problems in my life, particularly financial ones, it doesn’t seem like the weight of the world is on my shoulders anymore. The really weird thing is that that feels perfectly normal even though it’s a huge change that happened really fast.
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When I was doing Dominus, I didn’t have a sense of where I’m going, or drive to get a certain job or anything like that. I still don’t. Once again I have to remind myself that I’m only four loops into this journey.
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At this point, I seem to be seeing a lot more from the Dragon than I am from the Emperor. I get an odd sense that my mind isn’t just trying to execute both scripts at the same time, but getting the block busting in DR done first so that it can really ramp up the Emperor when the way is clear. Cool effect.
I’m noticing this too. Much of my anger is just gone.
DR has been giving me the most dramatic changes the most quickly.
How long have you been running DR?
How many loops per day?
Which stage?
I’ve been running Dragon Emperor st 1 (hey, somebody was going to try it) for four days, one loop a day. . Pretty impressive results for that. I’m going to try two a day next week.
I’m super impressed with your results!
This is very interesting.
I used to get this but running AM significantly reduced it and Emp would have appeared to have eliminated it altogether.
I am currently at the end of a three week rest period (in fact I am playing Emp for the first time since then, right now) and had a very mild flare up of making myself angry about three days ago at work.
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It’s the beginning of my 43rd year on this earth today. I’m feeling good about it. Which is not normal because lately I’ve spent birthdays thinking about all I haven’t accomplished.
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I woke up about halfway through my normal sleep cycle and the wife asked me if I’d taken the trash out this morning when I’d gotten home. I’d forgotten. She started in on one of her long shrill lectures. Usually I feel angry when she does that. I didn’t feel that this time, but I didn’t just let her overreaction stand either. I said something to the order of “I made a mistake, it’s not the end of the world” and when she tried to press it “It’s like three AM for me”. I was perfectly calm the whole time, and she stopped much sooner than she normally would.
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That’s week one in the books. Not much more happened today. I had a couple of those rage fantasies pop into my head, but shut them down before they got me really worked up. The shutdown on those is seeming just as automatic as the mental process that gets me into them now. I can now think of certain subjects that tick me off without this happening.
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I’m grinding my teeth a lot less now. I used (as in up to last week) to clench my jaw really hard both when getting angry at something happening in the moment and with these thought patterns. I’m glad to see this going, I’ve actually broken teeth.
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I picked up Diamond to test, and PSITU for when I get a chance to try it. Thanks guys.
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Day one off. I’m off work today and around my family. I realized how much anger comes up from little things in daily interactions. I didn’t see it before because I was always fully “in” it, and the anger and frustration were in control of my thoughts in those moments. What is starting to happen now, is that I’m able to observe that I’m having a flash of anger as soon as it starts to rise, and just choose not to. This is great because I usually “keep a lid on it” rather than expressing it. That takes a lot of mental force and is exhausting. Now, I just dismiss the feeling as it starts and it’s gone. This is amazing from just five loops of a sub.
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Merry Christmas and or happy whatever you celebrate at this time of year.
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Next week we will see what two loops a night does for me.
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Since I have been using DR my aches and pains, especially in my back and hips has been gone. Until tonight. I was having some pain today, and then woke up in the middle of the night with the worst tightness and pain I’ve had in a long time. It is worth noting that it kind of waited for my nights off. Perhaps its part of the healing process.
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At @Palpatine’s suggestion I started reading The Slight of Mouth users guide tonight. I got through a couple of patterns. As we were going to bed, my wife suggested spending some money on something we really didn’t need. I said no, and she kept pushing. Then I just popped off with one of the patterns. It worked. She said “good point” and stopped.
She usually doesn’t give up on any discussion at all unless she gets what she wants, and then she’ll keep justifying it for a few minutes just to make sure.
It seems to me that I normally wouldn’t be able to take in and apply the info that fast. I have a feeling Dragon Tongue had something to do with that.
haha that’s what I call a “BOOM” moment!
Happy Belated Birthday!!
Notice anything from Immortal’s blade as of yet?
I’m not sure I WOULD notice anything if that one is working.
I wasn’t sure if that was something you dealt with day to day or relatively often,
that’s a good sign then.
Not since I stopped ticking off dark sorcerers on a daily basis.
What I’ve been dealing with is so subtle I only suspect it exists.
**Stage 1 Cycle 1 Week 2**
- I felt a little bit of backsliding on my off days. Not too much, my usual anger reaction to frustration started to come back a bit more. However, I still had the ability to observe that it was happening and dismiss the reaction as it started. I did that every time. Eventually that will become the habit rather than locking up with anger.
I’ve noticed that I’m grinding my teeth less, and that’s the number one physical indication that I’m going into that state.
Some backsliding during the first couple of rest periods is normal, so I’m not concerned.
- I’m running my first loop of the night, first for the week. I’m going to run my two for tonight back to back like I usually do. I’ll try adding an hour or so separation sometime to see if it makes a difference. It feels denser than it did last week, and I feel more happening.
I feel the “dragon fire” in and around my body much more. Also, my mind is going back to various moments in my life, and I am very vividly imagining reacting to them I’m a more positive manner than I actually did. I keep getting one where I am having a conversation with my second girlfriend, and instead of acting pathetic when I was getting a hint that she was going to move on to another guy, I told her that I knew it was temporary and it was fine. And I actually felt that was my attitude. The vision was so intense that it’s like I’m actually trying to overwrite the original memory. That would have saved me a lot of angst. I wonder if the results of that angst are being erased.
- The energy surge is making me twitch. For most of my life I’ve had some kind of nervous tic. What it was kind of shifted around through the years, but it’s been a constant problem. It’s eased off and nearly disappeared over the last couple of years with sub use.
I realized at some point that it was caused by energy trying to force its way through blocks that I had in my system. They were probably put there by some of the mental and emotional stuff that I have going on. They’ve been cleared to some extent, but DR seems to be moving energy with enough intensity that it’s challenging whatever blocks I still have on a deeper level. This is great. It shows that it’s fixing what I didn’t have fixed before.
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About an hour after my last loop and I feel REALLY energized. It’s both a sense of having a lot of physical energy, and that my energetic system is flooded with very high frequency chi, or whatever you want to call it. Since I’m at work, the physical energy would normally make me feel very restless, but for some reason it’s not. It’s an overall pleasant sensation, but I do get the impression that there is still some resistance to the flow. There is tension, but that’s what it’s being circulated to resolve.
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While I was on Dominus, I noticed that some days the sub had my subconscious’s attention and some I just seemed to be listening to background noise. Tonight it definitely was paying attention. I felt stuff happening all through both loops.
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I am definitely fine with two loops. I was tempted to do a third, but not tonight. I might try that later in the week. Two was my sweet spot for Dominus and URE, and I assumed that as dense as this sucker is, it wouldn’t be more than that, but since I’m only running one sub, my sweet spot might be higher.
I like reading your posts. You reflect on what is or has touched you in moments past, and you have a different, more dominant mindset now. That encourages me. It’s a good example of mature masculinity.
I guess I do. Thanks for pointing that out, it encourages me too. I don’t know if you see it, but you’re improving as well.
Can I ask since when you’ve noticed this change?