I would recommend this too. Will heal familial relationship dynamics including those between other family members and even friends.
2 Likes
So my wife’s biggest thing, I was just talking to her, is about a friend of ours.
I knew her in high school and had feelings for her, but then stopped talking to her for a number of years and then reconnected.
Her and my wife are friends now but my wife doesn’t like that I reached out to her in the first place.
I have no feelings at all for this person, I kinda see no no attraction to her to be completely honest with you but she’s a good person. I won’t overlook that. She really is a good person I just don’t have those feelings for her. But no matter what, my wife said she’ll believe me after I talk to a therapist.
I said I can easily not talk to her, because I don’t and I can easily not see her, because she lives across the country. But my wife said no because it’ll be awkward for her because she’s friends with her.
I’m confused.
One thing I definitely have is unresolved trauma from the past. Maybe there’s something in here I can listen to?
What @Malkuth said. House of Medici.
There are a lot of options as the responses demonstrate. I’m in my fourth year of using the programs, and if I’d stuck with Emperor rather than switching to Stark things would have gone a lot differently. Emperor does create a very high status aura and that can be overwhelming to women especially if it’s just on its own and if they’re not in a secure place emotionally. I had my own experience of that in 2020 which I won’t go into detail on, just before I switched to Stark. If I had had more experience with the subs at the time, and the current range had been available, I would have made a different decision on how to handle the stack after the initial few months of Emperor.
The way I tend to handle my stack management nowadays is to run a short cycle of potentially useful new programs when they come out to get a feel for them, so that I can compare that against the direction I want to take things. It’s like telling a story, except the subs themselves are the different plot elements. I’ve also come to realise that getting that feel for each sub is contingent on being good at observing your own internal state and how it shifts during a cycle. That’s how I came up with the suggestion for Hero.
Whichever stack you end up going with, you’ll end up doing better with it if you can find your own techniques for working with and observing your own subconscious. I’ve known this for a while (just look at some of my earlier posts), but like Morpheus told Neo, there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path. Results improve once you learn how to talk to your non verbal subconscious mind.
2 Likes
Was already said but I second this combo. Both of them together.
3 Likes
You should be ok with whatever unfolds anyways. Be it a “some time” of separation or a “total” one.
If you frame the whole situation as “end of the world” that would effect your energy, emotions, behaviour in an non-serving way.
Emitting a needy might push here away for more.
Create and open up for a space to your inner power to shine, as a strong independent individual, and see if she assert herself to merge with your new way of being.
You’re familiar with the concept of a Blind spot.
In that diagram (known as the Johari window) which represents everything about you, the blind spot is the upper right quadrant. The things that are in that category can be seen by others around you, but not by yourself.
Everyone has blind spots.
In asking you to talk to a therapist, your wife is suggesting that there may be some meaningful thoughts, feelings, influences in you that might be in your blind spot. One of the reasons for talking to a therapist (or to any other supportive, honest person) is to explore your blind spots.
So not that much to be confused about here. She thinks that you may have some motivations or feelings in your blind spot, and something about those feelings etc., makes her feel some insecurity about the relationship or about your commitment.
She may be wrong. She may be right. Most likely she’s somewhere in the middle. But either way, that’s what she’s communicating to you (in my opinion).
The cliched, stereotypical, ego-driven response would be to spend all of your energy on trying to change or influence her perceptions. Or you could just go to humbly explore your blind spots. If it turns out that she’s off-base, then, once you’ve checked for yourself, you’ll be able to tell her so in a calm and grounded way. Not in the defensive, panicked, emotionally-charged way of a person who is just protecting his ego. More importantly, if you’ve done your due diligence around exploring your own blindspots, you’ll be able to add more value to the conversation than just ‘No! You’re wrong.’ (Which even if it’s true, isn’t really helping much.)
Okay. There are 2 more cents for the piggy bank.
3 Likes
@jshep23 Keep doing the great job, man. To aid you in your herculean effort, I really admire, go with Sanguine and Lineage: Mandate Eternal. That’s all you need right now.
It’s improved my sister’s family life and herself a lot.
+Mogul for improving the finances if it needs to be.
Alpha subs are tough to run and in your situation they could damage you and your family more than help.
I don’t think working on traumas in your situation would help, on the contrary. It’s a very challenging process on its own.
2 Likes
I want to put these three quotes in a relationship.
You’ve been mean, bitter and angry.
So yes, you’ve been a subpar partner.
Like most of us at some point or even now.
That’s just how you evolved from all the circumstances of your life and societal programming.
But you’re willing to work on that. That’s the thing that counts.
Let me sum up the subs that were proposed
Ascended Mogul, to build a frame
Emperor, same reason
HeO, to take the edge off of Emperor
HoM, to add the family element to Emperor
Lineage, to directly address family issues
Sanguine, to smooth out your anger and bitternes
LB, to heal it from the core
LBfH, to emit love to your wife
Chosen, as a more positive leader
HS, for the relationship
The Dragon Series, for healing everything
My guess is, you need a rather quick fix.
That’s why I’d wholeheartedly support @Sub.Zero s recommendation of Sanguine and Lineage.
Sanguine will make you enjoyable to be around again and Lineage will attack the whole relationship challenges.
I’d run these two, with microloops. That makes it easier to process and thereby even quicker to manifest results.
At a point where things got remarkably better, you could add HoM. You’ve build a base with Emperor and is has a lot of
family scripting
I wanted to build a customs with HoM and Dynasty and Fire said Dynasty is unnecessary with Hom. Testament to the powerful family scripting in HoM.
The Healing LB and the Dragon Series provide is wonderfull, but takes time and might give more recon than you need atm.
What you need from Heartsong is covered in Lineage.
Chosen, LBfH and HeO get covered by Sanguine.
At least my two cents.
So growing rich cent by cent.
6 Likes
She said it would’ve been temporary and then come back together
But she would rather do individual therapy
This was great.
So it seems like she thinks I still have feelings for this other person when I don’t but she got mad when I said I don’t.
I literally don’t. I told that person to their face I don’t a few months ago because I had a feeling my wife was thinking that, but she wasn’t there to see it.
But she said if that’s the answer after therapy, she’ll accept that.
She says that if I didn’t have deep down feelings for her, I wouldn’t have brought her back into my life. That’s a fair statement.
But there’s a lot of trauma associated with that person, it was all the way from high school and I’ve been trying to heal that part of me for a very long time.
And it almost just feels like emotional baggage being dragged around and it is hard to cut off a part of my life (or what I was allowing to continue to be part of my life).
And I’m sitting here thinking, why is this hard? Do you need that pain? No. Do you have feelings for her? Definitely not. Do you wish you were with her? No. I wish things in High School would’ve been different but that doesn’t mean I wish I was with her. I wish I wasn’t bullied everyday for 2 years by my team. I associate that pain and that entire state to her, but she didn’t do that to me. She did do other things later that caused me pain.
So then why can’t you let it go?
I don’t know. I don’t need it to define a part of my life so I’m having a hard time coming up with an answer.
2 Likes
I don’t know the history of your wife and her traumas. You said before, she never experienced a healthy relationship. So I guess there probably were moments when her trust got broken. Perhaps even multiple times.
Perhaps an incident that involved an ex or former love interest.
My fiancee watched a bollywood movie yesterday about a fwb couple. He wanted more, she wasn’t sure. He flew to NY, wanted her to join. She declined. Two weeks later he came back and had proposed to his ex he had met there.
This would be a good example for situations that cause a trauma related to smeeting the ex or a former love interest.
I doesn’t even have to be her own experience. Parents, friends, even TV could sow this fear that keeps on growing over the year.
You don’t have to be the cause if her fears.
1 Like
So I thought about it and I told my wife, we both need to drop that person because as long as there is that connection, I can never fully heal and I used to have feelings for that person and the wondering of “does he still like her” will always be there as long as we include that person. I have been carrying pain and trauma for 16 years, not 100% because of actions from that person, but enough is and I just don’t want it anymore.
So I told my wife and she is much happier right now. She still wants to talk to her personally and I said, that’s okay, just don’t tell me about it. I am done with her. The only person that matters to me is you, and I am fully committed to you and I want that to be very clear.
2 Likes
How long should I use those 2?
UPDATE
Things are much better since I’ve made several changes.
She is much happier and wanted to cuddle (don’t laugh) last night. We haven’t even kissed in 4 months so that is a big deal.
4 Likes
This right here 
could very well be the cause of this down here 
3 Likes
I’d say at least 2 cycles.
As long as your financially save, your marriage
Is probably your Number One priority. So as long as needed.
For finances you could later rotate in HoM since it has daily scripting as well. Probably not as intense as Lineage, but once the biggest problems are dealt with, maybe it could even replace it.
Hey jshep23,
Your journey with your wife through these challenging times shows immense strength and resilience. The arrival of your twins and the loss of her mother undoubtedly left profound marks on both of you, but it’s inspiring to see your determination to overcome these obstacles together.
In times of turmoil, it’s crucial to remember that healing and growth are possible, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges. Your willingness to seek help and explore various avenues for improvement speaks volumes about your commitment to each other and your family’s well-being.
Remember, every relationship faces its share of challenges, but it’s how we navigate through them that defines the strength of our connection. Embrace this opportunity for growth, and approach it with an open heart and a willingness to learn and evolve together.
keep communicating and never lose sight of the love and commitment that brought you together in the first place. With patience, perseverance, and a shared sense of purpose, you can overcome any obstacle and emerge stronger than ever before.
3 Likes
From my own journey in navigating relationships, I’ve learned that when your lady speaks of separation, it’s actually a call.
She’s not just blowing steam; she’s dropping a truth bomb. It’s a cry for a stronger bond, a deeper connection, and more love.
She’s telling you she needs you to step up, show her you’ve got her back, and dig into what’s really going on inside her. She wants you to understand her fears, her dreams, and her heart, and to be her rock through it all.
So grab it by the horns, show her you’re there, and let her know you’re not going anywhere. It’s about being the man she can lean on, the partner she can trust, and the love she can count on.
This is your moment to shine as her rock, her confidant, and her partner. Take the lead in rebuilding your connection. Show her that you’re committed to understanding her, supporting her, and loving her through it all.
3 Likes
I agree.
That must’ve been 90% of the issue.
This is actually the best post and advice I’ve been given. Everyone has helped immensely but this one, yeah. This one really made the most sense to me.
1 Like