I just replied to a friend regarding his response to some ups and downs I’ve been facing on LBFH. I shared some honest lows lately, which would have seemed like they were all money-based.
However, when I took just a little time to question myself, I knew my lows were more from LBFH since it’s been opening my awareness to things I’ve avoided almost every day of my life.
His response, in short, was “don’t think about it”. This hit me. It does not and has not worked for me. Gonna paste my response below.
Beginning of Response:
That’s no solution.
Coming from myself who’s avoided, avoided, and avoided almost everything and everyone in life who’s challenged my comfort zone. Fear of pain, born from experience, will disable someone who’s doing it alone.
Avoiding is not a solution long-term. Feels good in the short-term, but its results ultimately begin showing up.
I’m learning something new. Avoiding life and all its pain is futile. My solution was “do it alone”. Avoiding pain alone will be fruitless. But facing it with support is where growth, happiness, and fulfillment are found.
And though I’m still reminded of old fears when I face what I’m afraid of, doing it together gives me more hope and courage more than anything else.
I’m 51. Been trying to avoid, mask, re-color, and re-format any and all childhood fears all of my life.
And I’ve felt like a failure almost every day. Something’s been wrong with my understanding of “how to deal with life”. Avoidance just creates more pain.
That’s not a solution.
End of Response
LBFH is promoting real growth, which I’m seeing evidence of. I’m also stirred since I just watched a movie called “The Mystery of Her” about a high-school girl who lost her long-term memory in a car crash. She had been surrounded by an achievement-oriented, perfectionistic family and culture. They were seeking (even demanding) the old her to come back out. She found a journal she had been writing in prior to the crash, and she discovered she was inwardly rebelling from all these societal expectations to perform for them. She began finding herself, and she had to stand up for herself.
I could relate to giving in and following everyone else’s expectations. And also the self-disappointment for giving in.
But what’s love got to do with it? I’m finding out, little by little