What to do when your “light” is too much for others…

[TheEmpress]

When I truly embrace being who I really am… I naturally want to share my love, my light, my rawness, my crap, all of it. Some appreciate it, some are repelled by it.

That I may be too much for some.

The people pleasing thought comes back to me…

Not even to please everyone, but to please my “enemies” or “haters”.

I don’t wanna be doing that anymore.

This comes down to my concept of self, my identity, my stories I carry…

Just feeling some feels about having an experience like that here with someone… for the first time …

Has got me feeling and and ….

I’m not for everyone, not everyone’s cup of tea & gotta learn to be okay with that. Especially as I truly get going with my purpose in life… impact many many lives. There will be trolls & haters.

How to stay in my powerful bold state when I feel a little knocked by this?

[TheEmpress]

To add:

I don’t believe in toxic positivity or realism. Not concepts I connect with anymore.

[Fractal_Explorer]

What book is that?

Also people pleasing suuuuuuucks. I feel you.

[ksub]

When your light is too much for some people, you move on and you find new people. Unless you want the same old people you used to be around to drag you back down to where you were.
The Bible said not to put new wine in old skins.

@TheEmpress

I’m not for everyone, not everyone’s cup of tea & gotta learn to be okay with that.

Saying this never made sense to me. Isn’t it obvious that no one is for everyone? What is there to be okay with?
Somehow, I only see women say that. I still have to meet a dude saying that he’s not for everyone. 🤷

[TheEmpress]

That would be hilarious. Good point.

It’s pointless banter.

[Yazooneh]

Your “light” is your inner child it seems, it can be needy and constantly looking for validation, it can exhaust people, it can also be annoying once you’re labeled a hater (which happens the moment anyone gets annoyed and tells you to stop) and the army that usually attacks to defend you makes it even worse. Some people have the strength to endure your inner child, some don’t, and some simply cannot care less. That’s just how it is.

When you understand that your light is basically just your inner child you’ll know that not everyone has the energy to “handle it” because you’ve somehow labeled it as some loving and giving nature and anyone who doesn’t like it is dark and bad, which makes it even more annoying to endure. Some times, people just want a break, constant niceness comes off as the neediest thing and switching from the mindset of “this is my light, I’m GIVING the world and anyone who doesn’t take it must be ungrateful or bad” to “this is my inner child and some appreciate it, some just don’t like changing diapers”

I mean look just the fact I’m shaking while writing this because I know I can offend you deeply and might get attacked by others that feel they need to shelter you shows that the whole “light” label might be a bit out of place.

Light to me feels like a loving and truly embracing warm cloak that is silent. whereas you feel more like……… a child

Just my honest opinion.

[Floridianninja]

@TheEmpress

I’m not for everyone, not everyone’s cup of tea & gotta learn to be okay with that.

I like this

I say this a decent amount of times

I say i am not for everyone and to those who don’t like me it’s your lose not mine

lol

[Lex]

Maybe dim it a little when you have to , not everyone is ready for your fullness!

so the trick would be to learn to feel the response before showing yourself!

[Sub.Zero]

The loving mother archetype, dude

Women love, we kill the enemy…

[TheEmpress]

@Yazooneh

I mean look just the fact I’m shaking while writing this because I know I can offend you deeply and might get attacked by others that feel they need to shelter you shows that the whole “light” label might be a bit out of place.

I don’t need protecting or sheltering.

Thanks for your views.

[TheEmpress]

@Yazooneh

When you understand that your light is basically just your inner child you’ll know that not everyone has the energy to “handle it” because you’ve somehow labeled it as some loving and giving nature and anyone who doesn’t like it is dark and bad, which makes it even more annoying to endure. Some times, people just want a break, constant niceness comes off as the neediest thing and switching from the mindset of “this is my light, I’m GIVING the world and anyone who doesn’t take it must be ungrateful or bad” to “this is my inner child and some appreciate it, some just don’t like changing diapers”

I’m definitely not nice. I’m kind. There’s a difference.

I love to inspire and elaborate on strengths of others. Words of encouragement. Words can be healing or words can be damaging.

This is a public forum where I don’t personally know anyone other than one individual who invited me here. It’s all perspective and interpretation through various lenses.

I can be sensitive, sure. It’s a risk to be so expressive & open.

Ongoing emergent of me.

Words can be interpreted differently for each individual. Posts can be taken in different ways too. We all add different meaning to the words expressed by others.

Some just don’t like changing diapers? Care to elaborate?

[TheEmpress]

@Yazooneh

Light to me feels like a loving and truly embracing warm cloak that is silent. whereas you feel more like……… a child

How to do this silently through a virtual platform though? I mean, I am always silently doing this too, but words can be powerful too.

We are here to share!

[TheEmpress]

[IRON]

the fact that you are already saying someone else’s comment here is not “worth reading” simply because they tell you a flaw they see in you - be that flaw real or not doesn’t matter -

is silly to me

and whats more silly is that end of that meme is “be someone worth being”
which you are using to point out yazooneh is not. He gave you honest critique from his viewpoint. Please do not say they are someone not worth being. Pointing out flaws in people is understandable and people should not be shamed for it.

and yes saying their opinion is worth nothing and that they are someone not worth existing is quite terrible thing to say. YOu are basically dismissing not only their opinion (which would be somehow acceptable) but you are also dismissing their existence.

Just because they have some flaws to point out in you?

damn pretty cruel

this is what bullies do you know? You tell them something that does not mean harm - because no Yazooneh did not mean to offend you he said this to you in the hope to make you see something you might want to look into yourself and fix it… but no you instead go on and tell them they are basically someone unworthy of existence.

What will you say next? K*** yourself?
I thought this forum was about self-improvement. Here we point out each other’s flaws.

but you are defensive and offend others - you don’t point out their flaws - you tell them they are bad. For taking time to give you feedback and help you?

If yazooneh wanted to offend you or hurt you, he would tell you something like: you are not worth being… or you are (insert bad word). But he didn’t. There is thought in his words and preciseness. He wished that perhaps… you could fight past that resistance and look at his point of view… reflect and see for yourself upon some deep thinking what he might be seeing that you don’t. And you might just say “no there is nothing there. He is wrong about me” and that’s fine. But you could have just said : “okay Ill think about this thank you for feedback or just not reply” but you attack him in that meme. You offend him. You try to humiliate him in front of everyone. Why?

I get it flaws pointed out feel unpleasant and our egos get defensive but ultimately being butthurt and taking it personally is… strange.

[TheEmpress]

@IRON

the fact that you are already saying someone else’s comment here is not “worth reading” simply because they tell you a flaw they see in you - be that flaw real or not doesn’t matter -

I did NOT say someone else’s comment here is not “worth reading” I also said nothing of that nature to Yazooneh

My point of sharing the above image, was to iterate on what I was saying about where I am coming from when I speak the way I do in the forum…

I didn’t realize this was a place to judge or point out flaws in people.

I also don’t feel I am being a bully or putting others down.

Maybe this is not the place for me after all.

[IRON]

@TheEmpress

I didn’t realize this was a place to judge or point out flaws in people.

This is a place for people to journal and self reflect. We look deeply into ourselves and polish our minds out to be sharper and cleaner from outside negative sources. Yes to me personally it is always valuable when someone comes to me with genuine want to help and points out a flaw I might have not notice. It does hurt sometimes but I thank them because it helps me heal and better myself in the end. Sometimes their judgement is false but even then, it is effort and time on their side and Im grateful for that. No matter how harsh it may sound. I know the difference between someone being resistant and trying to hurt me and someone pointing out something in genuine spirit. I encourage you to look for these things others might spot in you but HEY only because I found that helpful for me in my life. You are free to do as you please and explore your life on your own. Insight can get you further though once you learn to detach emotionally from how you might look at that very moment of confrontation to others and yourself. We have flaws and that’s okay!

@TheEmpress

I also don’t feel I am being a bully or putting others down.

really? okay

@TheEmpress

Maybe this is not the place for me after all.

guilt tripping tactic and I know many guys will come here soon telling you that you are amazing and welcome and “please stay” kind of vibe. Yes you know how to play the social game. To many however, it is clear as sky.

Look Im not here to argue or prove you X Y Z
I could not care less
but please don’t treat fellow members with offensive memes. They spoke because they wanted to help you see something. They don’t deserve this no matter what.

and no I don’t buy this “I was using meme to show how much meaning I want to have as a person etc etc”
Someone gave you criticism - you follow up on denying everything with passive aggressive attitude (which is understandable because people work like that - we do get emotionally hurt sometimes) - and then, you post a meme saying : write something worth sharing, say something worth saying, be someone worth being.

[TheEmpress]

Crystal Mandala Oracle

[TheEmpress]

That wasn’t a meme. It was a quote imagine one of my mentors created.

It’s shared to show where I am coming from with my point of the original post.

Some people will not see where I am coming from because the state they are in though. We all see through lens. I’ve had to learn to clear the fog & I’m all for self reflection. I always consider what people may say about me.

Mostly people project but sometimes it’s definitely a reflection of something in me to address.

It’s an ongoing journey of discovery, shedding and releasing.

It’s cool though. No hard feelings.

Rock on!

[IRON]

if I saw it, Im more than sure that yazooneh that would come back to this convo would see this, and feel like that meme was directed at him as it followed right after all your answers to his points and with no context given. It would hurt me too.

[TheEmpress]

Yep. You’re right.

I’m random as eff!