Well said. You can even argue vows are pointless now. No one honors it. Its just words now
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Strong family units create strong societies. Look at the decline of the west for example.
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That the biggest bullshit I hear in a while. Marriage has never been about “love”, no matter the culture, religion, origin. For thousands of years and even as little as 50 years ago, marriage was a tool which facilitate bringing two families together, transaction, etc. The 50 year example is a young women (18 at the time) which met her future husband 3 times before marrying and set off to another country. Had 4 kids and remain married for over 30 years without any hitch by adhering to “tradition” as you call it.
You don’t need marriage to enter into a committed relationship with another human being and decided to built something together (family) and willing to commit/bear the responsibility that it entails.
Happiness and what not are secondary to your responsibility to the family and commitment that you decide to bear, that what it means to tie the knot. Does this mean that you have to be unhappy and miserable in a relationship? Of course not! It means that things can and probably will go wrong. It is your duty with your partner to bear that burden and transcend it. Create something even more beautiful than what it was. Instead of being a sissy bitch ((generic for man/woman) about being miserable.
In today age where “feelings” is law you can end those responsibility on impulse, multiple time even without much consequence. (Depends on country law, etc)
As Niten Ichi-ryu and other have stated, marriage is useful to protect a family or financial benefit. E.g. The husband dies young and the woman has 4 children, the state will come and provide for the needs of that widow and her children.
To end my opinion is, if there is no children, living the modern lifestyle, then do no get married. Rather, be a true human being who can actually stick to your commitment and built something great while transcending suffering.
PS: I am not bashing the power that love is and what it can do. I am stating historically it was always secondary to marriage and something that can be built/drawn out latter. Passion, ephemeral infatuation, etc. have always been it the reason for relationships when the times/society allowed. Otherwise, why is adultery, cheating have been so present through out history?
PSS: Marriage point is to bring two families together, protect the needs of the couple through the state (especially when children are involved), a means by which the tribe/city/state impose pressure to make the vow stick (antiquated)
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I feel its very healthy to be in a relationship however i feel one does not have to be married to your partner. The exchange of feminine and masculine energy helps heal one another.
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you’re definitely from somewhere on the East
He is in Australia
he’s definitely from somewhere in the South
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Is it normal for you that the woman you marry has been promiscuous in the past? For you sex just pyshical act?
the more people a woman has sex with
the more her pairbonding mechanisms exhaust
Women who get married as virgins have () the longest lasting marriages.
But for me the real importance placed upon a woman’s Virginity at marriegae doesn’t lie that she has hymen to be broken but she doesn’t bring any negative karma to the union. For a male this mean the certainty of not having bear the destructive karma of other men.
And what can you say the beauty of the of promiscuous woman?
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It also depends from what place you are looking. From Australia he is in the center, from Kiribati, he is in the west.
look from the space
What are the characteristics of a strong family unit?
What do you consider are the characteristics of a strong society? What would be the tangible and intangible metrics?
In your statement of the west is in decline? What do you mean by that? This is a popular generic statement thrown around but I have yet to see what people actually mean by that other than trying to force a “west vs east” divide which has devolved into “us vs them” mindset.
Also how does this connect with the purpose or point of a marriage?
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A question is, what are the expectations when you get married?
- will the relationship get better because of it?
- will the person stay with you because you are married?
- do you expect to stay together until death (Disney fantasy)?
- will the marriage be a start of a project together that you both commit to (less emotional approach)?
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@TheEmpress The answer to your original questions is that it all depends on the culture you are born into and/or identify with along with the time period you are living in. It also depends on your personal beliefs, goals and values as well of that to the person(s) you are choosing to marry.
At the core of it in every single culture and/or society since marriage was created, marriage is simply a ritual or ceremony that binds people together.
The people in the union and unfortunately the society around them determines how completing that ceremony/ritual effects them.
The answer you are looking for is within you and not in the opinions of others. What would be the point of a marriage to you in the society, culture you associate yourself with and does that align with your personal beliefs, goals, and values? Once those are all aligned you have found the purpose for it.
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Marriage itself is a relic. It’s a political maneuver to bond families together to consolidate power and historically has only been practiced in a meaningful sense by the powerful for that purpose.
Currently, Marriage is a buisness arrangement with pros and cons for your finances and other things.
Marriage, the legal agreement, which is what it is, is useful if done for the right reasons because there are huge legal incentives to do so.
When it comes to love? Having a long term partner can either be one of the best or worst experiences, if it’s the right person, it can be beautiful.
You grow with them, you two grow into each other, and you become better together than you might otherwise be. It’s a beautiful thing, and it’s worth getting right.
Marriage is buisness, don’t get it twisted. Long love and marriage, those two things don’t need to go together. Do both for the right reasons and both are great.
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To get divorced
Alot of people just regurgitate what they have heard on youtube. The West is not in decline LOL
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That brings a very nice definition:
A relationship you are allowed to enter and quit when both partners agree to.
A marriage needs more, you have to bend to certain rules, even if both want to get separated, you need a certain defined time apart and it costs money. Because there are laws and lawyers involved which feed from the whole marriage and divorce construct… It is no longer about the relationship itself but the societal and law construct.
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Where and when was marriage about the relationship itself?
If you look into written history all the way to the bedrock of civilization in Ancient Mesopotamia, marriage was always about societal and law construct. It is a significant part of being married.
We don’t have enough evidence from before then, but I am confident it was a significant part in the nomadic people who roamed the earth based on later nomadic tribes.
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You’re right about this.
Are any of you guys married?
I’ve never been married. Engaged twice.
I’m in Canada.
My parents separated when I was 12.
I know some couples who have been together 40 plus years. Through thick and thin. I know others who’ve left as soon as they experienced any sort of conflict.
I believe my match is out there and we grow old together. The one I build an empire with. Combining our gifts and powers. Not them doing it all and I steal it from them and run. Not sure if we get married or not. The idea of a wedding at least once has been with me since a young girl. I have a wedding dress hanging on my closet.
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