Just wanted to get others opinions on here. This has been an ongoing thing for me. I have an internal block to accepting a better life at times because it triggers a deep anxiety and fear in me. So something good is actually dangerous. I’m slowly unraveling where this all stems from, but ultimately this hasn’t been something I’ve been able to just push past. It’s anchored in me very deeply. And it has a tendency to crop up unconsciously and I only realize 2 or 3 days after how I avoided something.
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Practicing mindfulness so you’re aware of your decision making process rather than letting unconscious fears run your executive functions. Any titles that work with your stack focused on mental function would probably help.
If you’ve a history of trauma, especially childhood trauma, I’d heavily recommend any titles that specifically address mental/hormonal balance like Spartan or Limitless in particular. Long term unresolved trauma manifests in changed brain structure and different typical balances of hormones/electric charge in the brain making it easier and easier for your limbic system to overpower your prefrontal cortex each time you go through the same pattern.
Easy example: I’ve found Spartan makes it easier for me to do things like, wake up and take a cold shower at 445am even though it’s 8 degrees outside. To override all of the emotional, fear of discomfort based, resistance against this simple beneficial activity practices using your prefrontal cortex to override the limbic system.
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I understand exactly how you feel. I think healing is what you require, so depending on your goals you can use a range of subs: Regeneration, Rebirth, Dragon Reborn, the first stage of many multi-stage subs (Khan, QL, EOG), Mogul or Primal.
Again, it depends on what you want; you have fear of getting better at what exactly?
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Yeah I agree I’m currently running regeneration zp right now on my cycle.
It’s really tricky to pinpoint. It’s like I think if my life gets better there’s more to go wrong if that makes sense? Right now I’m fairly isolated, not physically but mentally. And there’s a reluctance to basically be in the world more. I dissociate a lot and have for most of my life. The present moment has been something that I dont feel safe inhabiting for a while now.
Fear of success only happens when your belive that the success brings you pain.
So make yourself cristal clear that success is not painful in any way
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Would you want to consider Dragon Reborn, since it really breaks you down from the ground up, step by step?
I also have a sense that you have elements from your past that contribute to how you feel now (in the way you’re describing), would you consider using Rebirth with your current stack to help reframe your past? Combining Rebirth with Regen could really help with that, and if you’re running a 3rd sub for general progress it is often said that Rebirth is an excellent booster sub (along with ME and LD) because of its ability to reframe your sense of self.
What are you currently running, if I may ask?
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Dragon Reborn is a no at this point in time. I’ve tried running it in the past and it didn’t work out too well. I do think that’s more of an advanced program and I don’t even have much of a foundation to begin with. I need subs that support me more vs a whole “tear things apart and put it back together” sort of approach. It’s just not a good time for that.
Rebirth does seem like a good idea so I’ll consider that. I’m currently on regeneration. But reframing my past experiences with rebirth would be important for breaking away from that neverending loop.
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I think mogul zp also because it has that success programming.
Breakthrough and eliminate any and all internal success ceilings (negative beliefs capping your ability to achieve widespread success
Also Survival Instinct ZP because it helps you feel safe. If it knows being successful is safe and even healthy for you then your subconscious will let you have that.
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Ascension ZP, or something like GLM for a month. I’d go with Asc. GLM may be a bit too much at this point.
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I’ve been considering ascension ZP for a bit now. It was definitely on my list to run next solo. I just wasn’t sure if I should focus my efforts on healing or not first. The irony seems to be healing can have a tendency to cause some chaos and if life isn’t already somewhat stable can cause more issues than it helps. Especially if there’s no real support system in place.
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Ascension has some serious healing involved actually, it can definitely help you.
I ran Ascended Mogul for 7 months and it changed my life.
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If you want to check out my journal about it:
Whenever I look through it I can literally read the change in my tone and personality through the months.
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I might be wrong but the ZP version might have significantly less healing. But I hear you. My first sub stack here was AM and UA. Ascension is definitely a solid one. I’ll give your journal a read when I get the chance, it’s always nice reading others improvements.
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I couldn’t believe your question, and I have experienced the same things all my life! While growing up, my dad and mother told me, you will not and can not amount to anything worthwhile. They would say things like this when they were mad that I couldn’t understand at the moment about math issues in particular. When I hit sophomore year, I was excelling and as soon as I became the best, I stood down and let others around me down. I had to something deep inside me would trigger and make my physically sick, when I dropped it I was ok.
Still up until the present my subconscious mind still runs my life, after being severely beaten when I was a corrections officer for the state. I was nearly killed it retired me ten years ago! I have a double decker slap down, starting from my upbringing up to my near death experiences! I know what you are feeling right now and I wouldn’t wish this on my worse enemies. I have a bad case of PTSD. Been dealing with it for the past ten years.
My opinion, these will work for you with a sensible approach, you can’t mentally control your outcomes! But there is everything you can do to listen and by keeping hopeful, which is why I am here today! My goal is the spiritual because this is where my essence is! I am meeting it where this path will eventually take me. Thanks for being out spoken, I thought I was the only one who felt the sheer power of subconscious bad programming.
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Programs like ascension ingrain inside of you a strength
That strength negates much of life’s pain
Healing too much can be useless since you heal and then fall down again
Hm, where did you hear that from exactly?
@scarecrow The beauty of forums like this is I don’t feel a need to hide. Even though I have a presence I’m still in my mind anonymous. I’m sorry you’ve struggled like that. Like you I’m looking to overcome what stands in my way and I try to be as open as possible with that in the off chance it helps people deal with their own challenges as well.
This is a really good point and something I’ve considered as well. You have to have a strong enough foundation and inner strength so situations and people don’t further erode your sense of self worth.
I don’t want to spread misinformation here but it was my understanding that ZP is very focused. Qv2 actually had a lot of healing scripting stripped of it in order to reduce recon. I believe the idea is if you want more in depth healing you have to stack something with it vs bundling it all together and having it interfere too much. I just assumed ZP went further with that and had very minimal healing focused scripting.
For main titles, I recommend Rebirth and/or Limit Destroyer over just about every other one, except Dragon Reborn, which I think I saw you tell someone in a post above is a no right now.
If you’re looking at modules, I recommend New Beginnings.
Edit: I didn’t consider Ascension. Ascension x Rebirth.
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I think I might run Ascension zp for a month like @SaintSovereign said and then once I’ve got a more stable foundation add rebirth or limit destroyer to grow further. I’m not 100% confident in my ability to handle something like Rebirth at the moment.
Having said that. What’s your experience been with Rebirth?
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Very satisfying, and I’ve yet to run the ZP version.
If I remember later, I’ll check through my old journals and either reply with it here or I’ll PM you a relevant link.
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