Starting a new life

[bombayduck]

Hello,

I’m a new user and this is my attempt at keeping a consistent journal. I’ve only been doing subs for 10 days but I think I was a little overzealous and tried to handle more than I could. I think I switched around between subs a little too much and I took on more than I could handle, or rather I sent way too many different messages to my brain. Beginning an online journal will hopefully help create some direction for myself.

A little bit of background: Mid-20s, living at home after blowing a significant amount of money while I lived with my ex, who left me, which continued the downward spiral that I am now trying to get out of.

I began with Ascended Mogul and Wanted to address what I thought were my main two priorities, to instill a strong masculine base, to clean up my bad money habits (my main priority is to leave this place ASAP) and increase my physical attractiveness/aura.

I believe that I’ve been going through some reconciliation because of AM and there are clear deep-seated issues that need to be addressed. I’m wondering if I should continue to run AM and start Regeneration or if I should just run Regeneration solo and focus on letting go of past trauma and memories that hinder me to this day. Most of it has to do with my childhood, my toxic family situation (hence the pressing need to leave ASAP) and the amount of money I lost in my early 20s which makes me extremely regretful of my past actions (money that could have been used to help me out of my current situation).

Logically I should run Regeneration solo but I have this urgent need to run AM because I feel like I’ve lost so much time in my life, that I need to focus on the practical as well. Any input from others regarding this would be greatly appreciated.

I hope to keep this journal updated regularly, I need to keep myself accountable if I’m to make any progress in the future. Thanks for reading.

[Lion]

Welcome, @bombayduck

We all make mistakes and in your case, you are still young and can rectify it.

Regarding whether to run Regeneration alone for a month and the urgency to get to Ascended Mogul, I will ask: can you run Regeneration by itself for 1 month atleast? I had run a combination of The Elixir + Regeneration together for a month and it was excellent in rooting out a lot issues. My recommendation for you is something like this:

Month 1: Regeneration or Regeneration + The Elixir Ultima
Month 2: Regeneration + Ascended Mogul
Month 3 onwards: Ascended Mogul + Wanted

Does this resonate with you?

[bombayduck]

It does, very much so. Thank you for your recommendation. I think I’ll focus on running Regeneration solo and take it from there. The plan is 4-6h a day, 5 times a week for the first two weeks. I’ll switch to v2 in 2 weeks time and take it from there.

Unfortunately, I do not have The Elixir and can’t afford to buy it, I bought Power Can Corrupt and I regret it (hopefully it’ll come in handy in the future - I bought it because of my gullible tendencies in social interactions). I don’t know if the 30 day money back guarantee would apply in my case, it was lack of foresight on my part and not a shortcoming in the subliminal itself.

[Lion]

No issues, my friend. Keep Power Can Corrupt (PCC) and run Regeneration by itself.

PCC will come in handy later. It is a light script that works very well with Ascended Mogul and helps you deal with people. You can add it to the playlist later:

Month 1: Regeneration
Month 2: Regeneration + Ascended Mogul
Month 3: Ascended Mogul + WANTED
Month 4 onwards: Ascended Mogul + WANTED + Power Can Corrupt

PS: start with 1 or 2 loops per day. And increase the loops by 1 every week. Also take 2 days rest

Month1
Week1
Mon to Fri: 1 loop of Regeneration
Sat and Sun: rest
Week 2
Mon to Fri: 2 loops of Regeneration
Sat and Sun: rest
(And so on)

Month2
Week1
Mon to Fri: 1 loop of Ascended Mogul + 2 loops of Regeneration
Sat and Sun: rest
Week 2
Mon to Fri: 2 loops of Ascended Mogul + 2 loops of Regeneration
Sat and Sun: rest
(And so on)

[Michel]

Keep running Ascended Mogul.

• Your parents will stop being abusive once you start displaying strong masculine respect vibes.

• You’ll get your money back by working hard and getting noticed by bosses. You’ll start being more responsible with your money too.

• You’ll replace your ex with newer and better women on your higher level.

• You’ll want to find out your true purpose and it will give you life goals to achieve, whilst not giving at fuck what others think.

• Any sad feelings or desire to switch is reconciliation which will pass in a few days, that’s you leveling up. It also has related healing.

---

Stick with it when it feels hard and the rewards will be great

[bombayduck]

Thank you for your input. I also suspect that there is reconciliation going on (as I mentioned in the opening post), and I do believe that responsibility with money, developing my masculine base and finding my true purpose in life are my main priorities right now.

I think there will be value in running AM alongside Regeneration at the moment. I’ve taken a day off today and am feeling much better, I think I was also overaffected with the lack of rest days and the sub-overload; never did subs in my life, started with one loop a day for the first week and then increased to 2, and then 4 way too quickly.

[bombayduck]

So I’ve been focusing on Ascended Mogul and Wanted, decided to toughen through and not shift to Regeneration. I’m listening to each sub once a day and it’s quite fatiguing to be honest.

With that said, I think I’m starting to see the benefits with regards to holding my frame in interactions, though I need to work on being more stoic. I’m also looking into more finances and funnily enough, I stumbled upon 1000$ that I had forgotten about. That was a nice surprise though it shows that I need to really start keeping track of my finances. Can’t afford to do that again in the future.

[Lion]

Good going, @bombayduck . Your stack is not too big and things are going on well.

[bombayduck]

Some little updates:

Of the 4 other members in my family, I wasn’t speaking to 2 at the time of beginning this stack. Now we can add a 3rd to the list, leaving my mother as the only person I still interact with. I am now able to openly call her out on her BS regarding me though (the incessant double standards, the need to put me down to push herself and my sister up, etc.) and it has worked out for the better, I don’t tolerate any shit from them anymore.

I’ve started training in martial arts, things have been going well in this regard. I’m very unathletic so I know that growing pains were bound to happen, but it’s a lot less worse than I expected. My physique is developing and I’ve experienced clear male enhancement benefits as well. Haven’t really experienced the ‘wanted’ effect yet, so there is still a significant amount of work to be done.

I’m definitely not where I want to be at health-wise, still don’t eat as well as I want to (having way too many cheat meals lately, bet it has something to do with breaking nofap streaks so that is my next major commitment now) so I have to focus on that coming up. Got way too much body fat for my liking.

The finance situation is still shit, I’m still wasting money excessively on things I don’t need. I need to start to actively gameplan around my wasteful spending habits, I think I should start to put 40% of my paycheck into my always-maxed out credit card balance (a credit card that I have destroyed to prevent myself from using it in public), 40% into crypto/stock and then leave 20% for spending in between paychecks. It will create a scarcity mindset with my money that will force me to curb my excessive spending habits. I think I will reduce my credit limit to the lowest possible once I get my bill cleared.

Speaking of pay, I’ve decided that I will end my leave and return to work as of next week. I’ve been making progress so now I need to increase the pressure/work load in my life to be able to handle greater burdens in the future. Time to grow the fuck up.

[ferdinandreitet]

i call my abusive family members incognito everytime they come into my room.
i harass them with incognito calls all the time and then tell them they called on the landline and it’s some women who wants to scam them.

no fucks given. it works wonders and gets rid of the narcs fast.

i also hide their stuff in a way they think they misplaced it before a situation arises where they get the opportunity start the verbal abuse

i screamed at their face and broke stuff in front of them and since then they respect me more

but the women in my family are constantly shit testing me

also use labradorite my friend it’s the best crystal to make a deflective auric shield.

labradorite is 20$ bucks

you have to become a super puppet player with your narcs and be like palatine manipulate them into oblivion

[bombayduck]

I’ve been consuming a lot of male content lately regarding masculinity and what not, and I think the better option for the majority of men is to maintain a stoic frame and always approach interactions from a logical point of view, versus an emotional one.

Regarding respect, I am reminded of Machiavelli’s adage from ‘The Prince’: when having to choose one over the other, it is better to be feared than loved. Ideally you would want both but if you cannot earn someone’s respect out of admiration, then you should earn their respect out of fear.

[Michel]

Better to be respected (and maybe feared) than loved. Unfortunately some people only learn not to mess with others through fear, which is a lesson you may need to teach once in a while.

[Athanaxos]

Congrats on starting on your journey of self-recovery and actualization. We all make mistakes, and you’re still young so just forgive yourself and then forget about it. You learned something from it, and know now to be careful with your trust and money from now on. An invaluable lesson, indeed!
Also, you doing this now in your 20ies will place you waaay ahead of your contemporaries, so good for you!

Have you checked out his thread about the “Alpha” masculinity?

On being an alpha

I want to take my SubClub hat off for a bit and share something with you guys. Something that has been bugging me. A long time ago, a PUA coach told me that there’s a difference between being dominant and being domineering. A dominant person is a person that has their inner game right. They are confident in themselves and their abilities. They have nothing to prove to people because the only person they compete with is themselves. They do well in teams because they don’t mind sharing and teac…

I can also (personally) recommend No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover - a great way to also “take action” in conjunction with the recovery-parts of the Ascended Mogul.

Just keep working at yourself. The money matters will solve (or rather dissolve?) itself when you are focused on building yourself up. Others will take notice, and you’ll get payed what you deserve.

If you hit recon, scale down for a bit, get some additional rest days in, and then go at it again. And I second @Michel about Ascended Mogul. It’s one of the best subs imo, and especially for your situation.

Head up, shoulders back, and eyes forward. You’ll Chuck Norris the shit out of this in no time!

[bombayduck]

So it’s my birthday today, turning 26 today and feeling lonely so I’ve decided to make another update.

I’ve started working again, I feel like my energy is much more positive than before. It’s a good start but we will have to see what happens as I start to work more hours, and the work load increases. I had more sales in a a day than I did in almost a whole month of work prior to my leave, so that’s definitely a good sign of things to come.

I decided to throw 500$ on a random cryptocurrency which has absolutely sky rocketed over 10x, so that’s nice. I can’t get caught up with that however, all of that money is fictional until the gains are realized into my bank account. Still, a sign of progress with regards to investments, though I still feel like I haven’t curbed my bad habit of spending yet.

The nofap was going well but I broke a few days ago unfortunately, which is a shame because i was seeing the benefits with regards to social interactions and overall presence. I need to focus harder to accomplish that goal.

There’s a really cute girl at the gym (she works the counter and trains occasionally) who smiles whenever we see each other, but it’s hard for me to say whether it’s genuine interest or just her being polite. Then again, I have always been awful with regards to reading signals from women (according to my ex back when we were dating) but I think I should avoid those distractions and just focus on myself for the time being, even if she is really cute.

Been ignoring calls and texts from my best friend, I don’t want to feel like I’m holding myself back any longer with the social circle that polluted my mind and actions in the past. I still wanted to keep contact with him but he would ghost me regularly, and now he’s offended that I’m ghosting him. The double standards are ridiculous, I do want to give him a call but at the same time I’m not really sure.

Like mentioned earlier, I am feeling a bit lonely today on my birthday. I don’t quite miss my ex, but I do miss the loyal company that she provided for me during this day in the years past. I don’t normally go to the gym on back-to-back days but I think I will today just to curb the feeling of loneliness. One thing that I need to remind myself is that the path of masculinity is a lonely one, and to embrace solitude is to embrace oneself, and your own company. There is something beautiful in this.

[Athanaxos]

Happy belated birthday, mate!

I know you might have felt lonely and I know this might sound corny but it’s true nonetheless - when you are trying to grow, sometimes the best company you can keep is your own! Also, think of it as ‘aloneness’ instead of loneliness. Like you said about your old social circle and that it in some ways polluted your mind and actions… Sometimes being on your own for a while and getting comfortable with just being yourself by yourself is the best gift you can give yourself. You’ve chosen a path of growth, and part of that inside-out growth is that you have to go through that internal gritty stuff all on your own, in many ways. Though we are many here that are doing the same, so in that regard you are not alone in the struggle.

And about your friend… perhaps just letting him know that you are going through some personal stuff and need some time to deal with it? Just a suggestion, tho

Also the purpose of progress is not perfection, but in becoming better with each attempt. Same thing with abstinence of all sorts. Just get at it again and again, until it sticks

Sometimes, the best we can do for ourselves is to focus on our own internal growth. The external stuff tends to come of it’s own. If you are unsure about her signals… keep growing and just see what happens? Who knows, running Emperah you might even subconsciously get the signals anyway

[bombayduck]

Thanks mate, greatly appreciated.

You’re absolutely right, and I do like the choice of words. ‘Aloneness’ is definitely the way I would prefer to refer to it as.

With regards to my friend, my hesitation is in the fact that I’m not sure if I want his influence and presence in my life anymore. Anyone can tell we’re best friends because we’ve known each other for so long, the moment we see each other and enter a conversation with one another it is electric, and set at a pace that no one else can really keep up with. It’s a special bond that we have, but I’m sure that he hasn’t changed and I don’t want to be held back by others any longer. I think the worst part of our relationship was the drugs and I have left that behind, and I’m very scared of taking a step back in that regard. Perhaps I fear myself, perhaps I don’t trust in the progress that I’ve made if I’m so fearful of a relapse. Maybe I should speak to him, I don’t know, I’m still mulling this over.

I do have a tendency to be extremely self-critical to a detrimental point (past friends have said that about me), and it does have something to do with being a perfectionist. I hyper-focus on the errors and brush off the progress. It’s interesting to me that you were able to identify that in my post, it is something that clearly needs to be worked on. The issue is that striving for perfection is basically a motivator for myself, so I need to find a way to embrace the good and avoid the bad from being a perfectionist.

With regards to the girl, it’s not a big deal (at least that’s what I’d like to think). I just think she’s being polite to be honest.

I don’t think I’ve been on this stack for long enough personally, I plan on running AM with Wanted until the end of the year at least. Who knows what’s to come for next year.

[bombayduck]

Here we are, time for my next update.

I am really feeling the benefits of Ascended Mogul, wow. Everything that it says it would do for me, it has done. Running Qv2 was a complete gamechanger, took a while but now I definitely understand the hype.

I’ve only been back to work for a month and I’ve been the top salesman on the team which has been a complete shock, normally the top 2 salespeople are usually miles ahead of everyone else but I’ve been ahead of them so far, and the lead salesperson has really had to up her game to close into my lead. A complete change from where I was when I had left. Before I took as many breaks and pauses as I could, now I just feel like I want to work and perform. The commission is trash, but this has been more me proving a point to myself than anything else. I can do anything I set my mind to, and apply myself in.

Speaking of which, I have been thinking a lot lately about starting my own business. I won’t ever be satisfied working for someone else to be quite frank, I do want to start something for myself. An ‘empire’, if you catch my drift. This could definitely be in my cards for the future. However, for now I want to focus on consistently exceling at my work, and I have an idea about changing career paths and finally going into the computer/tech world. t I have plans for going back to school to change my career path but we’ll see what happens with regards to that.

The money situation has improved, I’m starting to reduce my spending habits a bit more and I’ve cleared about 75% of my credit card debt. Still have to focus on budgeting and investing more, and I really want to start creating new streams of income. Still a lot of talk and not enough action though at this point.

I saw my best friend on the street, and it was a great experience. I was really happy to see him, we connected immediately from where we left off and had a 2 hour conversation on the street without even realizing the time pass. Unfortunately everything that I suspected was the case; whereas I have been getting better, he had gotten significantly worse and it’s unfortunate. But seeing him really was a relief, a weight lifted off my shoulders. I told him the reason why I ignored his messages, I told him about where I was at my life, and it felt good to be able to say those things to him. I was scared that I would fall back to my old ways should I see him but instead it was the opposite: I felt more affirmed in my decisions if anything. He had mentioned that it was a significant sign that we had crossed paths that day, I hope that to be the case. I had feared that he would be resentful or envious, but he was actually very happy for me despite his own position. It made me appreciate having someone like him in my life, regardless of how things happened.

Now I wish I could say that I’ve had the same level of success as with Wanted but that’s okay, I’m dedicated towards using Wanted for a very long time. Perhaps it’s just my perfectionist mindset coming into play again, since I cannot deny that I am currently in the best shape of my life physically. While my workouts (resistance training) and diet has dropped off a bit lately, I have been doing more muay thai (and as a result, cardio) than ever, going to the gym whenever I can. I passed an exam to move up to the next level of classes which I’m happy about, the beginner phase is over and now the real grind begins. Again, I don’t feel like I’m getting the Wanted effect yet as I don’t feel like I’m getting attention from women like I did before I met my ex 5 years ago, but I just gotta stay consistent. I have also become more conscious of the clothes I wear, for whatever that’s worth. I think the Wanted effect will truly begin once I start dropping more body fat, as I’m still at about 16% at the moment. I do believe that my lower body fat made my face more attractive when I was 20, despite the fact that I was a twig (I was 145-150 pounds then, I’m 175 now at 5’10). Just got to be steady, my aim is to be ‘wanted’ by summertime next year.

So that’s my latest update, it’s definitely a big one but it’s been awhile and things have changed quite a bit to say the least. I can feel the difference if I read this post versus my earlier ones, I look forward to seeing how much further this can go.

[bombayduck]

I’ve been frustrated with my inability to take action lately, I’m wondering whether I should add a 3rd sub to the current stack, or if I should switch out AM for something else. Perhaps I should ride this out, or take a break for a little bit. I don’t know.

[Malkuth]

@bombayduck

I’ve been frustrated with my inability to take action lately,

Frustration.

Try a 3 day break.

Work out. Eat well. Rest. (If you’re not an insomniac like I am right now).

Then after 3 days, make your next choice.

[bombayduck]

So I want to bring an end to this journal, this is my first update in a long time. I feel like I committed too much to writing large summary posts when I should have gone the typical route of posting frequently in snippets, as that might make the process of updating less tedious.

So I’ll be making a series of final posts within the next few days to wrap up this journal; I don’t want to be as revealing about my life as I was in the past so I prefer to speak more broadly, but I can definitely say that the subs did the trick. I am a very different person compared to who I was 7 months ago when this journal first started, I can see it even in the way I write.

The reason why I’ve come back to this journal is because I want to start a new stack very soon, I have already made the necessary purchases to focus on this stack for the next 4 months. However, I don’t want to leave this journal hanging without a conclusion, so I’ll be focusing on that for the next coming days as I begin my new stack (and journal).