I wish the best for you, and for a few days ago I was reading a book Ive come across with paragraph and it reminded me your situation, I wanted to share now
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…In this next example of active imagination dialogue, the man’s Ego acted as a referee for two conflicting aspects of his personality. one showing the influence of the immature Hero energy and the other the Lover. The two archetypes were in conflict about how to treat the woman in the man’s life. The Hero wanted to conquer her, while the Lover wamed to just relate to her on a mutual basis. This is how the dialogue went. (E stands for Ego, H for Hero. and L for Lover.)
E: All right, you two. We’ve got a problem. Gail wants to go to Brazil on a lark—without us. You—Hero—want to blast her for it and deliver an ultimatum: either drop the trip and come to Chicago to visit you instead, or forget the relationship. And you—Lover—just want to let her go and love her no matter what. So, we have to decide something here.
H: She’s being selfish! As usual, she’s trying to overwhelm me with her impulsive desires. She doesn’t care about me. She’s dangerous. And if I’m going to be in a relationship with her, I’m going to have to lay down the law.
L: Yes, but that takes all the fun out of it. She has to want to be with us, or it’s no good. I’ll love her no matter what she does. I’m so in love with her; if you try to control her, you’ll ruin what real love is.
H: Don’t give me that romantic crap! Maybe you want to lie down and take this, but I can’t! How can you even think about living with such a selfish and impulsive woman?
L: Because, selfish and impulsive or not, she’s the woman I love.
H: But there’s no kind of security with this woman!
L: There’s also no security in forcing someone to do what you want against their own wishes. Love loves just for the pure joy of loving.
H: Well, maybe you can live with pure joy, but I can’t. I will defeat her willfulness or die trying.
L: What will die is the relationship!
E: OK. You’ve each presented your point of view. Now, we’ve got to come to some kind of agreement. It seems to me you’re both right, but both excessive. The Hero is right in setting reasonable limits on the relationship, and in recognizing our own limits, what we are comfortable with. Gail’s going to Brazil instead of coming to Chicago is beyond endurance. And the Lover is right in not wanting to blow off the relationship, and in wanting to respect Gail’s limits and her desires. But, Lover, you have to realize that human love does have limits. It is not limitless. Oh, the love may be. But what we can live with is not. So, let’s both set limits and love Gail at the same time.
Because the Hero, under the influence of the Lover, was able to transform his fear and anger into courage and limit-setting—something Gail was actually looking for—Gail did not go to Brazil and is maturing in the relationship. And the split psyche of the man is becoming integrated.
…
Everybody has different opinions, but I think what she is doing is ridiculous, and clearly she doesn’t show respect to you ultimately. She doesn’t recognize your authority, and a person can discuss which is good or bad but you should have this authority automatically, she should’ve respect you automatically.
Peace out bro
