My girlfriend is planning to fly with 2 of her girl best friends to a big trip of 2-3 months, to countries like Argentina, Mexico, Brazil basically a trip to South America.
And my mind is telling me that i can’t trust her and i can’t live with her when she returns because I don’t know what she will do there and with who.
It’s a trend in israel to fly to South America after the military service, a lot of people do it, she told me she can’t give up on this trip it’s her dream.
Id say keep in contact as much as you can during her trip, through calls and app and shit.
These type of trips are incredible life experiences and for most people the best time of their life. So imo its wrong to take that away from her so i dont think thats an option. The most realistic option to sort of compensate though would be if you could also go to south america. Perhaps during the last month of her trip if you can take that amount of time free from work? Something along those lines.
All in all though this is a tough situation to be in. And ngl not all relationships can handle something like this, not seeing each other for such an incredible amount of time is a hard thing. However if your relationship cant handle it than at least you aint wasting your time afterwards (as the relationshio most likely wasnt gonna last anyway).
The best thing imo is to make sure to keep trusting her. If you cant trust her, than the relationship may not be that good to begin with. And if possible try to visit if you can at some point in her vacation.
I think the important question here is are you projecting this lack of trust onto her? Or has she done things or shown behavior that makes her seem untrustworthy?
Three girls travelling by themselves around South America :).
They are going to get hit on by hundreds of guys during their trip. I personally would not let my girlfriend do this if she wants to travel around south america she can do it with me. If she says no then i would say good luck and shes on her own.
Your worries may be justified and accurate, or they may be inaccurate. Either way, you’re allowed to feel how the heck you feel.
Some girls do travel and cheat. My guess is that’s probably fairly common, man. It’s kind of the flip-side of everything people here are always going on about. And 3 months is a long enough time for that to happen if she’s inclined to do it. That sucks, but it’s true.
Another take:
If she were to choose to hook up with someone else, that doesn’t make her a “slut”, so don’t waste your time with that bullcrap narrative. It does make her a coward, though; if she’s afraid to try to communicate with you about it. Or to handle her business solidly and honestly. But everyone has some degree of coward in 'em. It’s not illegal.
What I’ve found, personally, is that situations like this give you a chance to look at yourself more clearly. Your own fears Your own current level of development. Your own values. And so on…
If you want, you can spend weeks, months, or years, complaining about what other people have done to you. How it wasn’t fair and so on. You might even be right.
But I think that you’re much better off taking the opportunity to look at yourself, your life, and where you’d like to take things. I don’t mean you should “man up” and pretend it doesn’t hurt or that you’re not afraid. I’m kind of saying the opposite actually.
Let the real feelings that you’re having teach you about who you are right now and where you want and need to go.
It’s tough navigating this type of stuff.
It can also be, while unwelcome at first, an opportunity. That might sound crazy if you’re feeling really overwhelmed right now.
But trust me, it’s true.
Practical points:
Also, think about what you realistically want to ask of her. Not just emotional demands, but realistic agreements.
What do you want from her that she’s willing and likely to give to you?
Celibacy for the next 3 months?
Honesty?
Keeping in touch and communicating regularly?
Think about what you need and want from her in these next 3 months.
Also, run a worst-case scenario.
Okay, I’ll stop. Because I don’t really know enough about you, your relationship, where you are in life right now to really do anything but project from my own imagination and my own life experiences.
Might be good to talk to a professional or to someone with more life experience who you trust enough to be very honest with. Counselor would be really good for this kind of situation.
If you truly believe this than i kinda pity you. That is not a good way to see relationship, or other people as a whole and i cant imagine life being much fun if you think like this. Not for you, nor the people you have relations with.
I am sure about that
There are good and bad apples everywhere
I think it’s wrong to assume that everyone is willing to do something like that
While I don’t disagree that some will probably do that depending on what relationships they are in and how it’s going…. Trust plays a big part in it too. The girl also has to be able to trust the person she is with to not do them the same way.
What do you want?if you want stay with you say no.
and i don’t agree people says “its all about trust”.you can’t know what will happen and already you feel like this.
and even if you allow, about three months you will constantly think her,its long time.it will be frustrating for you. will you able to focus with your works if she goes to this trip?
i think you should tell her basically that you dont want her to go this trip(without you).even still she wants to go you can tell her that “you can go but not as my girlfriend”. i think it’s more about frame. if she truly loves you; cares you, i think she wouldn’t go.
In situations like these, the main thing I’ve learned is that I’m not very good at communicating with my girlfriend.
That issue might sound much less interesting and dramatic than all of the worries about “sex” and “trust” and “loyalty”, but it’s actually the more important issue.
The lower the quality and level of your communication is the more that low-quality issues are going to arise in your relationship. If it’s not this issue, it’ll just be other issues later on.
So, yeah, that’s my opinion.
Take this as an opportunity to improve how well you communicate in a relationship. Do that and no matter what happens, you’ll still win.
I really feel like this js one of those things that people inside relationships think entirely different on compared to those that arent in a serious relationship, or single rn.
When i was single id probably also think that its a horrible idea to keep it longdistance for those three months. Now though i feel like if its worth it its worth it, and if not than you’ll find out soon enough.
Unfortunately I have had bar friends in the past who did real estate and their co workers very attractive girls would travel and do this. One was in a long term relationship but she was using the guy the other was married to a very wealthy person way older and was using him too.
My friend at the time got married in Puerto Rico both girls went with him and he told me how they cheated like crazy. I wasn’t shocked though. They were pretty open while over here to
I’m just curious has she given you any red flag signs prior to this ? Like things she’s done while with you or in her past where u think it could be an issue if she’s by herself on this trip ? Are her friends wild party girls who are single ? If the friends are solid that’s a big help. Also how long have you been dating her ? That’s a big one. If you been with her for like 3 months and she drops this on you then that’s crazy.
There is nothing wrong with being the type of guy who doesn’t want his girl to go on girls trips. It is just a standard you have. Just as women have standards for men too and am pretty sure if a man tells his woman that he is going on a boy’s trip for three months to Thailand, what do you think she is going to ask? Am sure you guessed that answer right.
Forget about what other people think about your opinion on this matter. More importantly, forget about what she thinks of you if you feel this way. Tell her that you are the type of guy who prefers having a relationship with a woman who is not into girl’s trips (or anything else like wearing too revealing clothes or going clubbing or whatever your requirements are). And that if she wants to do so, that she is a grown woman and if she decides to go, you wish her good luck, goodbye and all the best.
Be sincere and an adult about it. She can then make her choice. And you will be fine either way.
I can’t because I don’t know anything about your girlfriend.
Some women go on girl trips to fuck around.
Some women go on girl trips to genuinely travel.
This means it depends on what kind of person your woman is - which I know absolutely nothing about.
Look for a second, lol. Most people when they read what you wrote here, it seems logical and sound.
It’s not because look at the mechanism.
Your lack of trust is triggered by something as simple as your partner being out of your sight and on her own. That’s not normal.
@RagnarLothbrok, if your girlfriend goes to the grocery store on her own, can you live with her when she returns? “You don’t know what she will do there and with who.”
Purely based on what everything you provided (no context about your girl), you’re doing what’s called catastrophizing and cognitive distortion.
