So for anyone interested in hearing an update, we’re still speaking and she still wants to be with me. I want to be with her too, but for what? Companionship? Temporary emotional fulfilment? Logically speaking, it doesn’t make sense for either of us to be with the other.
You’re stronger than me man haha
I agree that it doesn’t make sense for you, or for me in my situation, but I think I’d be weak and jump back in that boat even if I know it was sinking.
What I’ve been telling myself, is that the best thing for her is to move on and get what her heart desires (settling down, having a family) because I don’t feel like I’m in the place to give that to her and if I force it and give that anyway, I will regret not following my own heart’s desires to travel and live abroad and have more freedom and independence.
My viewpoint, not sure if it resonates, but stick to your guns man, I think you’re doing the right thing in letting her go.
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Not sure why you would say that, I’m still mulling over the decision. I know what’s right in my head but it feels painful to admit.
Ah I figured since you said logically it doesn’t make sense for you to be together, that you had made your decision already.
Yeah this will require lots of introspection bro. I wish you luck.
Keep in mind that you’ve noticed a lot of ways in which you haven’t shown up for yourself, or her, in this relationship, and that you have already identified things you want to work on and improve in yourself.
If you think you can do that work while still getting back with her and avoid falling back into that comfort trap, then go for it bro.
I think this is the first time we’ve spoken on the forum, but I’ve identified with your predicament a lot so I am invested and want to see you succeed haha. Here to support you man, whatever you decide.
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I’ve made the decision mentally I guess, but it’s hard to let go emotionally you know. All she’s been doing these past few days is shower me with love, but I’m trying to make her understand that this is not because of her shortcomings - perhaps they’re my own shortcomings, or maybe we can just blame circumstance. But I know rationally, it doesn’t make sense to waste each other’s time. She says that she will never see me as a waste of time and energy, but she won’t say that 5 years from now when she still hasn’t had a child yet and is in geriatric pregnancy territory.
We tried that already, don’t think it will work.
It is. I do recognize your avatar though, definitely one of the top 3 best on the forum. Thank you man, I really appreciate it and genuinely hope the same for you.
Yesterday I went to my local convenience store and I was shocked by the way the girl at the cash register acted. For the first time maybe ever, I was able to see someone genuinely attracted to me physically.
Obviously it’s not the first time someone’s been attracted to me, but I’ve always been oblivious and horrible at identifying signals from women for my entire life (every woman I’ve ever slept with had to make it frighteningly clear to me that they were attracted to me before I pursued them).
Maybe it’s because my current situation, unclouding my view of others. Regardless, it felt really good to have someone blatantly show their infatuation to me, that was really cool.
Makes me want to test out a seduction custom just for the fun of it, I’ve never actually ran a seduction subliminal before. I ran WANTED but focused it inward, and I ran the first stage of Khan which created a nice aura but I’d consider it healing more than seducing. Maybe I should run Khan from beginning to end next year, who knows.
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Plan for a custom, after having a conversation with another forum member who truly enlightened me with regards to what should be prioritized in life.
Cores:
LBFH
EOG1
ASC
GLM
Spartan
Modules:
- Chosen of Venus
- Gloryseeker
- Deep Sleep
- Carpe Diem Ascended
- Void of Creation
- Physicality Shifter - Sexiness
- Gorgeous Manifestor
- Inner Voice
- Natural Winner
- Spiritual Freedom
- The Wonder
- Gratitude Embodiment
- Starfilled Night
- Cosmic Wealth
- Yggdrasil
- Joie de Vivre
- Jupiter
- Current Invoker
- The Flow
- Harmonic Singularity
- Everpresent
- Ethereal Presence
- Entranced
- Instant Spark
- Serum X
30 total modules.
Gotta remove 10.
Fucking hell.
Cores:
LBFH
EOG1
ASC
GLM
Modules:
- Chosen of Venus
- Instant Spark
- Deep Sleep
- Ethereal Presence
- Void of Creation
- Physicality Shifter - Sexiness
- Gorgeous Manifestor
- Inner Voice
- Natural Winner
- Spiritual Freedom
- Entranced
- Gratitude Embodiment
- Starfilled Night
- Cosmic Wealth
- Yggdrasil
- Joie de Vivre
- Jupiter
- Current Invoker
- The Flow
- Harmonic Singularity
- Everpresent
5 modules down, 5 more left to cut out.
God I hate this 20 module limit.
Cores:
LBFH
Paragon
ASC
GLM
Modules:
- Chosen of Venus
- Instant Spark
- Harmonic Singularity
- Ethereal Presence
- Void of Creation
- Physicality Shifter - Sexiness
- Gorgeous Manifestor
- Inner Voice
- Natural Winner
- Spiritual Freedom
- Entranced
- Gratitude Embodiment
- Starfilled Night
- Everpresent
- Yggdrasil
- Joie de Vivre
- Jupiter
- Current Invoker
- The Flow
3 modules to go.
Yeet these?
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Change it to Spartan
But hold up, why you building this in the first place :))?
If you’re gonna be taking fitness (and potentially MT) seriously, then add Spartan, it will also work more beautifully with LBFH and GLM.
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@lovage happened.
Not even sure if I’m going to follow through with it to the end, just want to have the idea ready to go.
Love Bomb for Humanity is such a nice sub to run. It really makes you feel good about yourself, and others.
Just feel like I want to spread the love as much as possible right now, which is definitely not characteristic of me.
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Thinking of a custom to implement once I’m finished with QL3.
Cores:
Emperor (or Emperor Black, or HOM - depending on what’s happening in my life)
Ascension Chamber
QL Stage 4
LBFH
With 16 modules left, let me get some modules that I really want to use out of the way:
- Deep Sleep
- Carpe Diem Ascended
- Fusion Optimized
- Inner Blaze
- Inner Gasoline
- Void of Creation
- Achilles
9 modules left, which can be divided into pairs corresponding to each core’s primary focus within my stack:
QL: intellectual/career modules
AsC: manifestation/booster modules
LBFH: Social/seduction modules
Emperor: Wealth/productivity modules
1 module left, which should go to a physical shifting element.
Time to get the research going. Unlike most of the previous custom plans I’ve made (which were all essentially moments of mental masturbation), I plan to bring this one to fruition.
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Serum X 
Cores:
- Emperor
- Paragon
- QL Stage 4
Must Modules:
- Achilles
- Carpe Diem Ascended
- Fusion Optimized
- Inner Blaze
- Inner Gasoline
Social/Seduction (2 = 10 modules):
Charisma & Flirting Automatic Mentor/Improver
Gorgeous Manifestor
QL4 (2 = 12):
The Lines
Index Gate
Paragon (3 = 15):
Serum X
SPS: Respiratory System
Deep Sleep
Emperor (3 = 18) :
Emperor’s Voice
Productivity Unleashed
Lion IV
Physical Shifting/Aura (20):
Chosen of Venus
Earthshaker – Sexuality (Or Fearsome)
What are your listening times/loops like?
I did 15 min of LBFH yesterday and in a way its almost numbing, but brings up so much recon in the form of really digging up the thoughts that prevent me from feeling self-love.
At lower time intervals it feels smoother and more loving, at the full 15 minutes it’s almost like a nurse forcing the medicine down your throat and making you puke to get the poison out.
At 15 minutes you def need other tools to help soothe the pain other than just the subs. I’ve been doing emotional release guided meditations and it kind of, mostly helps.
Lots of trauma to dig up.
Awesome progress tho!
Cores:
- Emperor
- Love Bomb
- QL Stage 4
Must Modules:
- Achilles
- Carpe Diem Ascended
- Fusion Optimized
- Inner Blaze
- Inner Gasoline
- Asclepius
- Fearsome
- Ethereal Presence
Social/Seduction:
Charisma & Flirting Automatic Mentor/Improver
Gorgeous Manifestor
QL4:
The Lines
Index Gate
Paragon:
Serum X
Deep Sleep
Emperor :
Emperor’s Voice
Productivity Unleashed
Lion IV
Cores:
Spartan
LBFH
EOG ST1
AsC
Modules:
Inner Voice
Natural Winner
Spiritual Freedom
The Wonder
Gratitude Embodiment
Starfilled Night
Cosmic Wealth
Yggdrasil
Joie de Vivre
Jupiter
Instant Spark
The Flow
Harmonic Singularity
Everpresent
Physicality Shifter - Sexiness
Void of Creation
And Dragon on the side.
Use the Billions schedule (3 listening days a week, skip a day every 3rd week), variable loop times usually never surpassing 7 minutes.
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Because of my sudden washout during December, my cycles have been pushed up by 1 week. Next washout begins January 11, so the new custom will be started on the 16th.
So I haven’t really put an update regarding my gym progress, all I’ve said was that I’ve stopped Muay Thai and started weightlifting instead. Muay Thai is obviously my true love and passion, but my runs on Emperor make me want to focus on something with greater tangible results in relation to my social and career aspirations.
Anyway, it’s only been 4 months so far, here’s my progress on the major lifts.
Haven’t done a standing barbell OHP in awhile but on standing dumbbell OHPs I was able to hit 85 pounds for 6 reps.
Never do bench press, but on incline dumbbell bench press I’m consistently hitting 120 lbs for 6 reps. From that, I feel like I could safely assume that I’d be able to do a 1 plate (if not more) bench press for many reps.
I was shocked today that I was able to hit 180 pounds for 6 reps on the barbell squat. I’m going to record that set next time I try that weight, because I need to verify what my form is like when exiting the pocket. I nearly failed the lift on my 2nd rep but was able to get my bearings together and complete the set thankfully.
And now my favorite big lift, the conventional barbell deadlift, I was able to hit 230 pounds for 6 reps. Issue that’s limited my deadlift growth is my lack of grip strength and my lack of knowledge on how to properly use lifting straps. As I get more experienced with straps, I know my progress will skyrocket with time.
I think I’m well on my way to hitting a 2-plate squat (225lbs, 100kgs) and a 3-plate deadlift (315 pounds, 140 kgs) by the end of month 6 of working out. My initial expectation was to hit the 1/2/3 plate BP/SQ/DL by the end of year 1 so to think I could reach those numbers in half the time is a great sign. These are newbie gains though, so I need to ride the newbie train as long as I can.
My ultimate goal is to hit 1/2/3/4 plates for the OHP/BP/SQ/DL and who knows, maybe I can even get to the 1000 pound club naturally as well. To be able to continue this progress as a complete natty, it’s key for me to maintain a high body fat percentage. It’s definitely not ideal for me as I store most of my fat on my stomach and cheeks, but it will be worth it for the glorious cut in 2-3 years time. I’m currently hovering around the ~18 to 20% region which I feel is ideal.
I’ll enter my 30s in the best physical and attractive state of my entire life, which is exciting and motivates me further.
My biggest insecurity has always been my physical shape for my entire life, so I am very happy to get this addressed now. I’ve made great progress in 4 months’ time and can’t wait to see what’s in store for my future.
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