I finally got a room at the place a go to uni!! I only saw my roommates for a little bit, but they seem like incredibly nice people, def the kind of people id hang out with.
So with this im moving out of my parents house in a few days already. It happened incredibly abrupt and i really didnt expect it. That said ik very happy!
Im currently on the 5th month of using my custom, so i thought itd be a fun idea to make a big review of how it has affected me thus far.
Ill first be giving a general review and than going over all the modules in particulair.
general review of 5 months of using my stark/wanted custom
At this point my custom has affected me in a variety of ways. If you compare my current posts to the first post of this journal you can see a clear evolution of my mindset in general.
I started of as a virgin, desperate about girls yet at the same time anxious of losing my virginity.
At some point during my vacation i figured that i really didnt want tk get just some random hookup and would prefer to actually get a girl. So thats exactly what i did (together for 4 months at this point and still going strong) and that on its own naturally already greatly affected my life in a variety of ways.
Aside from this my desire to have a bunch of attention from all different girls has greatly been reduced the past month or so.
I used to reallyd esire that for my ego, but at this point with my custom my sexual ego gets inflated naturally lol, so i need that outside validation a lot less. It still feels good to get it ofcourse, but that feeling is only momentarily, and im aware of that, so even if i dont get it at all, i dont really mind as i feel confident enough sexually on my own. This result took a lot of time to get though as it really goes against the selfimage i had in the past of myself, but at this point i can confidently say that this is how i feel right now.
Another big thing was that i was quite insecure about my social skills and just myself in general when i started of.
Id often get that when a social occasion went less than perfect id get extremely down on myself and attack myself for any conversation that doesnt feel completely not awkward.
This insecurity has since also basically completely been removed. While at some times it can resurface a little bit to a very mild extend, this problem is mostky behind me.
Alongside this particulair insecurity, my confidence in general has also just greatly increased. While i cant just thank my custom for it as LBFH has also done a lot, it certainly helped. At this point i very rarely feel insecure and isecurity is mostly switched with a curiousity and desire to improve in whatever im not great it, or acceptance. I still can get down on myself, but these are just momentairy emotions that i can quickly get over rather than a common feeling in my life.
Now for the modules:
Modules
Note: all these results are combined with general stark and WANTED results. The modules are designed to work alongside the cores i choose, so with different cores, your results could be quite different.
entranced
This module makes people very interested in you when youre talking. It does exactly what it says it would do. In my experience and hasnt been super super profound just yet, but it definitely does its job. Its always fun and usefull when people are interested in you.
Ethereal presence
This module has been a bit hit or miss. It definitely makes people very open towards you. I havent noticed to much, but i guess aurabased subs are always hard to notice when youre not particulairly looking out for them. I do very often notice that basically everyone that has met me knows my name when they see me again, even though i often dont lol.
Transcendental connection
This one is fun. It just greatly helps with building strong bonds with people. I often find that people in their head think that we hang out far more often than we really do because they feel so close to me. Very good module, would def recommend
I would say though, this isnt the type of module that just makes you built connections with everyone. Ive found that it more works that it builds stronger connections with people you get very well along with regardless.
Earthsake sexuality
Looks here and there are a thing. It does what its supposed to do, nothing to much to say otherwise. If youre going 100% for seduction than this is probably a good one to add.
Sexiness unbound
Freaking love this one! Like ive said above, ive found thag the internal sexual confidence is far more satisfying that any outside attention you could get. This module is the peak of that. It did take me a long time to really get this out of this module though, so its a slow burner. 100% worth it though! And cant wait to get more out of this module.
Physical shifter
Ive done very little real external work towards this module so i also havent gotten to much out of it. My appetite was definitely very very high at the start. I can also say that ive been taking a lot better care of myself, especially when im going out. Cant say to much about it though, its hard to really notice things like this as well when youre not actively measuring the changes.
Focussed arousal
Ive found that on some girls, like my gf, makingnthem aroused comes so so very quickly and to such extreme extends that i didnt even think possible. I always assumed porn was greatly overexagerated, but now it feels underexaggerated.
Divine self image
I think the title of this module is a bit misleading. In my experience this module isnt about rising your self image to a divine extend. I assume the pride modules would be more fitting for that. This module though, does great at healing and getting rid of thoughts that are insecure in nature. This is definitely a healing sub, but a very good one at that.
Also i really found myself comparing myself to others a bit less. Its still something i sadly do a bit to much, but its gotten much better compared to before.
Panther
I mostly find myself approaching a lot of people when im bored at this point.not necessairly with the goal of seduction, but approaching has definitely felt pretty easy if you have some sort of opening.
Total nonchalance
I mostly just figured this module doesnt really fit me. Im a bit more of an energetic type and pure nonchalance is just not my style.
Closing statement
All in all, im very happy with my current results and subs in general. I found these result to all come very gradually, i never had that “holy shit” moment were i felt bombarded with results, they more so become obvious when looking back after a lot of time has passed.
My favorite modules so far are: sexiness unbound, divine self image and transcendental connection.
With how busy everything has been with moving out, gf, etc, ive failed a subject by missing a deadline. Honestly though, i really dont mind, and kinda like that i now for this semester have a lot more free time. I want to use this time to focus on sport and picking up meditation.
In the netherlands college isnt as insanely expensive as america, so having to do an extra year is far from a curse.
This does also indicate a big problem of mine though, time management. I easily can pass any test im given, but the deadlines can really fuck me over. I just lack the time management skills to do them, i usually only start when the pressure of the deadline coming close is to great to ignore. At that point though, i have to drop everything to pass the deadline, and if something comes up (in this case a disease), than i just fail.
This is a very common thing for adhd, but id still like to find a way to improve on this. Already tried scheduling my day, that didnt work as i would just end up getting behind on the tasks i wanted to do that day and end up doing nothing.
If someone has another idea that can help with time management, im definitely open to it!
Inspired by @Lion s post on wanteds nonchalance, i kinda wanted to post about that + the total nonchalance module.
I said above that i didnt think these aspects have changed much, but now that i think more about it, i was wrong.
For me the nonchalance has very strongly came internally. I just stopped being worried about stuff and i very often have been saying stuff like “whatever happens, ist really doesnt matter that much” and things along those lines. In this sense my worrying has very much decreased a shitton and i tend to just do things when i feel like doing things.
I still domt fit the image of what something would think of at the word “nonchalant” as im a pretty energetic person, but this mindset has definitely manifest inside of me a lot.
I really enjoy it lol, wouldnt wanna change a thing.
Really glad to hear it, @TheDerpinator. My first taste of Total Nonchalance came from WANTED. The TN module is as good.
Im actually starting to get called handsome/attractive more often now.
I still think im decently average looking guy (wich definitely isnt bad lol) in a lot of ways, but lately ive had girls calling me attractive a lot more often.
It all started with my gf, who sometimes just starts staring at me and talks about how sexy i am. This makes sense though as she is my gf. But even random female friends are starting to mention it now too. Not even in a way that theyre trying to hit on me or something, they just casually mention it in conversation.
Alpngside this random strangers i sometimes talk to also seem to noticably start acting more like theyre high school girls talking to their crush lol.
This is definitely WANTED in action lol,
The weird thing though is that aside from a slight ego boost, i really dont care about any of this at this point. Im in a happy relationship so its not like im gonna use any of this attention im getting in any way.
Hey, handsome do you know distinguishes differences between Wanted and module Total nonchalance?
In other news. Very rapidly approaching the end of my 6th cycle of my custom. This would be when according to the manual the “major changes” would happen lol. Can definitely confirm that this has been the case, ik very happy i sticked with this sub as long as i did.
I will possibly run this sub for a few more cycles, but my stack is gonna change a lot as my priorities are heavily srarting to differ from what they were in the past. Ive gotten most of what i wanted out of these types of subs already.
My next step might be a stack with a ll the revelations titles when they are released to start finding my purpose. Or possibly a fitness stack, i still have to see what exactly imma be doing.
Either way its gonna be very different from the social/seduction goals that ive mostly been focussing on up to this point.
Ive for the most part ran them together so its hard to fully know what came from wich sub/module.
This said, i somewhat feel like WANTEDs nonchalance came more from being relaxed “if it happens, it happens”. This heavily applies to your mindset in life in general, where it eases anxiety and dont overthink things as much.
Meanwhile with TN i feel like its more socially focussed, relaxed when being confronted by someone or being the butt of the joke, things like that. Relaxed enough to make a good comeback.
What it comes down to again is, WANTED being the broader sub and TN being more focussed in its changes.
I actually have TN module in my custom and it makes me just more witty and funny person.
A bit of a shift happening. Im slowly realising my next step is to become more mature and selfsufficient. I have my own place now, im doing very good on all the dating front, social life, etc. My next step is to get my maturity in order and start putting effort in school again. I want to figure out what i want to do in my life as well.
My stark wanted stack has been incredible, but this will be the last cycle of it. That custom most certainly fulfilled its purpose, and it could easily be that ill run it in the future again, but for now its time to focus on other aspects of life.
Starting around januari 23th, my goals will be based around building my maturity and finding my purpose.
My stack will most likely consist of:
This will most likely be the stack ill be running for a while in 2023. For now though, lets continue with one last cycle of custom + diamond + RoM!
Ive fallen in a very fun rhythm in ny life. Im now constantly travelling to go to various places in europe with my girl. Probs about once a month for 4/5 days (right now kn the airport back from vienna). Than when im home i have quite an active social life but with very little true responsibilities. I also have a sport i really enjoy and various hobbys i can do with friends whenever.
Probably living the best life ive ever lived rn:). This is infinitely more satisfying compred to how my life Was last year, im definitely very happy (all of this made possible through various subs and especcially stark, heartsong and LBFH)
I still need to find some more time for school stuff but tbh im not very worried about that. I dont mind taking an extra year of college (its prefered honestly). Im very consistently still passing the subjects i focus on and whenever i dont pass its purely due to deadlines rather than something else. This means doing them again next year will be a piece of cake.
Just got back from a two week washout. Didnt plan for this, it just kinda happened as i was to busy to really play my subs, also the stack i wanted to play really didnt excite me all thag much, so i never bothered.
Anyway, during my washout i found that id much prefer to have another stack. The sub i miss the most right now is CHOSEN. This sub was one of my favorite subs when i first used it. From the internal benefits to the external, it just fits me so well as a person. Because of this i decide to run this sub again, alongside spartan.
Im even considering making a custom chosen alongside true sell, to really make it even more special 
Still taking that washout? You must have really enjoyed that vacation 
Nah lmfao, now on 5th day of my new stack
Ive recently been going to the gym 3 times a week with a friend. Im noticing that fitness is a miracle cure for productivity. I find that on days i go to the gym im also hella productive afterwards. Really enjoying the gym in general, really feel like my best days are when i go the the gym in the morning.
Im kind of addicted to stark/wanted lol. I think ive said on like 4 seperate occasions at this point that i was gonna quit that sub… but i never did. My custom just keeps sneaking into every single one of my stacks lol. 8 months in now, slowly approaching the year mark.
Aside from this im right now running spartan and chosen. From spartan i found what i wrote above about fitness. Very consistant with it rn.
CHOSEN has always been great. Its honestly the most confidence ive ever gotten from a sub. It kind of has a GLM effect for me. i assume because the archetype just fits me quite well. And aside from this the social effects and effects on your morals is just amazing.
My one sad thing is that i cant make room for something like true sell in my stack. Im very eager to try that sub out but theres just no way right now. My spartan and chosen goals are to important atm.
I have a hard time thinking of things to even write in this journal at this point. The subs are doing there thing. My life going pretty smoothly. I guess i havent been super consistant with the gym lately, but i made the promise to myself to at the very least go twice a week and i have never broken that promise.
I should do more for school than i am currenly, just been kinda preoccupied with social stuff. This week after valentine i should have a lot more time though so imma spend that on school and going to the gym daily again.
What goes up must come down. Been feeling a bit more under the weather lately. It tends to go like that for me, where for a bit of time i feel like everythings going great, and than after some time my perception shifts and i start to think more about what im missing.
Im continuously plagued by fomo and just a general sense that im not getting out of life what i could be. My new room still doesnt feel much like home and it feels unconfortable to suddenly live with roommates after spending my entire live untill than living with my parents. There are some big changes happening in my life and i feel like i have trouble adapting to it.
This said, i do definitely see myself becoming more selfreliant. I like the independance i have now.
Some next steps for me are to get a new job in my new city, and get more acquinted in the new neighbourhood.
More to add to this, i think it was already somewhat noticable in the tone i wrote this review in but as much as i love everything WANTED has lead to. I kinda dislike the negative effects it can lead to for the other one.
Not saying it cant be used for good ofcourse, just think it goes a bit against my natural personality.
Ive noticed that a sub like CHOSEN just fits my far more.
And
Although i have no prove just yet as ive yet to run this, i also expect true sell to have some nice effects to take out the rough edges.
For this reason im swapping out my custom for true sell. Ive spend a total of about 8 months on my custom and probably around 10 cycles. It has been a wild ride but it was an amazing experience. I still fucking love the custom i made and think it has had some incredibly beneficial effects.