It is your journal and it is for you, so you can write about whatever you want.
Even about ice hockey, elks, or curling. Even about Chilean hockey players if there are any.
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absolutely, don’t worry about what you write in your own journal. I’m also really liberal in my own.
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Hey bro, I hope you are doing well these days.
Reading this I see a lack of self love. From your description I saw your girl teasing you (trying to play small flirting games)… And, I wasn’t there so it’s hard for me to comment, but it seems like teasing/flirting… Fun times.
Or maybe she was communicating something when she shook your hand off, like I said it’s hard to tell.
Usually in a relationship with trust for the partner I would see it like “oh she’s playing, lemme play too”. Smile, maybe look at her while biting a bit your lower lips with a seductive look (all while dancing), maybe a small wink or smth to let her know it’s on. No idea, like I said I wasn’t there, but just her evading yoir hand and you taking it as a disrespect seems from an external perspective like lack of self love.
I’m pretry sure non of your friends seeing her push back your hand (if they saw, and did she pushed back your hand or did she evade it?), were like “Ohhh shiiit that girl is out of control she gonna cheat on him soon!”
Compare that with a flirty reaction, if you react with some mindset of “Ohhh she’s playing games 
”. “It’s on! 
”. People outside are gonna react like “Oh shit look at their chemistry, they have so much fun together!!”
Flirting and having fun stays part of the relationship. I remember so many times with me ex I just grabbed her, pushed her against the wall of her appartment, kissed her, turned her on and then left like an asshole 
Acting like nothing happened.
" Why are you turned on like that babe, aren’t we going to the geocery store right now?" I always make sure to give her a small wink so she gets we all good and I’m gonna take care of her later she just gotta be patient. She sometime did the same to me… Well, she actually started it, turning me on while I was trying to work and shit hahahaha, got my revenge.
And also communication, sometime she came and started to turn me on, just grab her give her a hug and explain to her like “Hey babe, I know you love me and needs attention right now, let me finish this and that (lets say half an hour/an hour), but now I need to focus it’s very important”
Done. So yeah if you wanna talk about it feel free to reach out 
but as of now from an exterbal perspective it looks like a bit of self love would solve your issue 
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Yeah but she was acting weird. I felt disconnected from her, like her mind was somewhere else. She wasn’t being her usual self. She wasn’t showing me any affection and when I tried to hug her from behind she moved herself away from me.
I was also upset with her because I offered to drive her to the venue and she just said “No, I was just telling you I’ll meet you there.”
She didn’t even think to at least thank me for offering.
And she’s also been annoying me because she always reads my texts and answers like 2,3,4,5 hours later. I try and give her the benefit of the doubt because I love her but it’s really starting to get on my nerves and I wanted to sit her down and express my frustrations to her.
So from the beginning of the night, I was already upset with her and her behaviour at the dance further upset me more. I wanted to leave the entire time but I wanted to find time and talk to her after.
And then… the fight happened. Everything about flirting and all makes sense and I agree, maybe that’s what she was doing but I was really upset and uncomfortable with the whole situation, I probably should have pulled her aside earlier and had that discussion.
I appreciate your perspective, it’s very helpful. 
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There are definitly some stuff to explore in your relationship…
Especially if you feel something is off. I think the best way would be to open up about how you feel wierd when she doesn’t reply to your messages when X week ago she was replying very fast.
How also you’re wondering why she’s less affective in terms of hugging and kisses, is something haplening on her side, is she living something she wants to talk about? Cuz right now you don’t really like how she’s more distant physically and it makes you feel not loved.
As guys we tend to mix up other emotions with anger. Maybe you felt she was a bit off, got some of your insecurity out and it made it into pain when we rejected some of your affection.
You gotta communicate about this bro. I know it’s hard, it’s a process, but it’s part of being in a relationship also.
You suspect something is in her mind, maybe she wants to talk about it, maybe not… You can’t force her. But good communication starts with opening up, not juging your partners, asking her if she’s thinking about something. Maybe she needs time.
And remember whatever she opens up, you must not juge, even if it’s hard, you got to figure out how you feel about what she tells you. You can share thst with her.
And trust me, if she juges you for what you share with her. Get her out of your life. If you fucking show vulnerabilities and she uses that against you… She needs to go. You can’t have people lile that around you.
You need to be with someone who can know your heart and can hear what’s inside it whatever pussy shit it might be… And recieve it open heartedly… And you need to do the same for her. Even if she tells you some hurtful shit like she re-met her ex and had some emotions surge up or something… It hurt, hurt your pride as a man, maybe makes you feel like less, or not appreciated, you can express that.
Bro thats communication, thats being in a relationship. You gotta open up and communicate, but not tolerate bullshit or abusive stuff. And that’s shit that needs to be on both side, if she can’t open up either, it’s gonna be hard.
Edit : Basically, if you have a woman on your side, she’s supposed to help you. Feed you feminine energy and nurture you. As a man, you need to protect her and make sure she’s doing well, feed her your masculine energy. That’s powerful. You both got to trust each others and be there for each others.
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Yeah I feel like I need to be more upfront about my feelings and get comfortable with those kinds of conversations. Sometimes I feel like my feelings aren’t valid and that women will just completely disregard them cause their feelings matter more.
Exactly what happened. Her teasing me and rejecting me was probably just innocent flirting but it triggered me and I got mad.
Yeah, when I talk to her I’m going to do my best to not react emotionally and just let her express herself freely. I’ll have time after to express my thought and feelings.
This is gold, I don’t think she is like that but I will watch out for it. I’m confident she can listen and accept my feelings are valid.
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That part comes easier if you figure out you won’t be juged when you express your emotion after Otherwise you might try to fight it back with anger again, because you’re scared of how she’ll react.
Remember is anger is the emotion of change. She let her dirty dishes on the countertop for you to wash, you get irritable and pissed off eventually. Change is needed. She tell you some mean shit that hits a deep insecurity, you feel hurt. That pain can trigger anger… But that anger truly cover up pain. Screaming at someone is usually not how you make a good relationship! So anger needs to be kept on check sometime to allow for growth.
Anger will be used for example is you express your pain… Then she laugh at you. I mean before you can at least tell her wtf I bet she knows she’s in the wrong. And by her reaction you can tell how much she cares about you. If she want to make you feel better and apologize sincerely… Or if she just tell you to suck it up. If she tells you to suck it up, or attack you on it then anger can be a fuel to breal up with her.
Woman are very nurturing creatures. As long as you fulfill your role as a man to protect her (more emotionnally in our modern society, especially in Canada), she’ll be able to express that feminine energy toward you.
I also feel it’s completely normal as a man specially with all the hate on masculinity these days. Almost telling you it’s not okay to express your feelings. How about just starting by opening up about you not being very good at expressing your emotions and fearing people won’t care about it?
Imagine you open up a few times and she’s always comprehensive towards you. It’s gonna be easier not to get angry because your subconscious knows your feeling of rejection is valid… So it won’t try to deflect it with anger.
NOW, I say that, but remember as a man when you open up you can’t present yourself like a victim Ideally don’t give her the burden of changing you. “I’m trying to work on X”, “I want to see your behavior for what they are (flirting) rather than letting my past experience in life control my emotions” - you can always talk about your past experiences also, if it happened in the past, as a kid or teenager, you can blame it on immaturity or being dumb hahaha
Men are creatures that strive in achieving goals, frame all your weaknesses as goals to improve👌 Thats masculine energy, the feminine will follow.
I might be paranoid, we never know.
Anyway, don’t give up, relationship really are beautiful. I learned all that from an amazing woman that I lost, I really grew with her especially since 1 year ago I had so much trouble with opening up and speaking about my emotions, while now it seems so much easier
Everyone can change and reach that treasure
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Thank you man, everything you said is so helpful. I appreciate you
And now we can all have a big Chilean party
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Jesus, that was a stressful 3 days
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Congratulations brother. But I would still suggest working with healing subs on the issues which caused you this much trouble.
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Would you consider running Godlike Masculinity: The Commander
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I would, but I’m running khan st4. So I see it as a bit redundant
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Just curious, why that one specifically? 
Agreed, though Heartsong does have healing included maybe sanguine the elixir would be a good companion.
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I mean Heartsong will probably strengthen your bond. With SE you would work only on yourself, but with Heartsong as far as goes my understanding of this title, it will work on the overall relationship.
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Or maybe if you try Chosen or LBFH I think she would be very glad to be around you more of the time Maybe she will be too clingy.
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Perfect, that’s exactly what I want.
“Heal your previous romantic trauma and let yourself love fully. Break the limits you place on yourself due to what happened in the past.”
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So let us know when the Chilean wedding happens
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