Hyperman brought a valuable idea back into my consciousness.
The wish to switch subs might be a signal that the sub you’re using is working on said topic.
Hyperman brought a valuable idea back into my consciousness.
The wish to switch subs might be a signal that the sub you’re using is working on said topic.
That’s right, i feel like something is missing, but nothing is actually missing.
My goal is the raw fulfillment from AHJ that DRR2 led towards.
I started to think that i need this, i need that, wanna try this that.
When I actually just needed to relax and enjoy AHJ’s effects. Because that’s the whole goal of this whole ordeal.
Sigh… this goes to my list of reasons to never jump straight to 15m on a sub.
I really fucked around and found out with this one, rofl.
I have been in the same situation.
With that experience under my belt and now reading it from an outside perspective, its clear to me that in order to be able to live that raw fulfillment from AHJ, its necessary to address the inner voids, which will feel like you need a lot of stuff, while it comes to the surface to be released.
The hardest part is to actually realize that it is as easy as in relax and enjoy the ride…
I haven’t thought about it from this perspective.
I’m using AHJ to give me extra fulfilment on top of what HeO has given me.
So it’s building more on top of something instead of filling a void.
But what if it IS a void?
I stick with what I do now because it’s the most fulfilling out of everything else I do.
Some things make me happy, but not fulfilled. I cut most of these out of my life, keeping it minimal.
Some make me feel fulfilled, but the happiness I get from them is spotty. This is what I’m focusing on.
HeO pushed me more to the latter, while DRR2 & AHJ are seemingly pushing me to the former.
What if there’s a void that I wasn’t aware of that AHJ is trying to push me towards?
I feel bad doing them, the happiness feels hollow if it’s not fulfilling.
What I’m trying to get from AHJ is to get more from what I already do, not to explore outside.
But what if gaining understanding by experiencing more can lead me towards what I want from AHJ?
What if there are undiscovered voids that, when they get filled, will lead to improvements everywhere else?
I need to do more introspection on this.
I missed a listening day, lol.
But it’s good that I’m finally over that “switch subs” recon after I journaled all of those above.
I didn’t get the urge to change something by listening to subs.
Journaling does help after all.
Well, it’s not gonna stay after HLB is released.
Depending on its content, I either have to wait until next year, or I could drop HeO & run HLB + DRG instead.
Update 1:
I didn’t listen today either.
Well, I’ll take this extra restday too.
Weird.
It’s like my body just “knows” that i need to take a long washout.
Well, i’ll follow this intuition until i get the urge to listen to subs again.
I can’t take the gamble on AHJ anymore.
I lost the leeway to continue doing so.
Time to focus again.
Maybe I’ll try to approach it again when I’m able to.
But I just can’t deal with anything that derails me from my goals.
It’s too narrow to allow me to branch out, and I like it this way.
DRR is still on the menu though.
It might derail me, but it’s not severe and I know what to expect.
This makes me think about the new HLB.
It’s gonna be another multistager on top of another multistager on top of a dense artisanal title.
Not to mention that it might introduce another layer of derailment that I can’t handle yet.
I guess it really has to wait. Taking it now is too risky.
Still no urge to listen yet.
I guess the urge to take a long washout wasn’t one of the recon back then. It was actually my intuition telling me to chill out and process things thoroughly before going back to subs again.
I feel… light.
Lighter than when I microlooped the hell out of subs + using shorter cycles.
This feels good. I need to take long washouts seriously from now on.
2+ years of nonstop sub use without a long washout is bound to strain me at some point.
When you return, are you going to try a solo title cycle?
I doubt I’ll be able to stick to just one, rofl.
1 will give me the fastest result, but i have no sub that requires such focus.
2 feels like the right balance.
One as the main archetypal sub (HeO), the other as a booster (DRR, LE etc).
I think there’s no reason not to use a booster when i have the slot for it.
No urge to listen yet.
While it feels lighter, I also feel things are starting to slip up.
It’s a good time to take action.
Oh I think I was stupid.
I was reading my journal again and then I realized, I wasn’t done with slowly increasing RM:UWX’s exposure. That was why I felt uncomfortable with the “manifesting the past” effect a few months ago. It was too much too quickly. I should have continued increasing it instead of jumping straight to 15m.
Damn that’s a blunder.
–
Some subs reminded me of my past, but RM:UWX was unique. It didn’t just remind, it actively brought things back. It was manifesting on top of reminding.
I’m sure it was not just confirmation bias either.
If I start with shorter loops again, I might be able to take it slower in a pace that I’m comfortable with.
I won’t, I’d rather wait for RM:UA as it has a wider scope than UWX. But this is a good reference point when I start UA later.
It’s getting increasingly hard to stuff subs into my stack.
I have 4 subs in rotation
HeO, DRR, HLB, & LE (+ Paragon later in a custom)
I think I will get another custom once both HeO & UA are updated.
Or I could streamline the stack even further by dropping HeO & relying solely on DRG & HLB.
It’s time to listen again.
I suddenly felt that “yep, now”.
It must be my intuition giving me the signal.
2+ weeks of washout. Not bad.
Oh shit.
I’m scared.
I didn’t notice the gravity of this feeling until now.
So this is the block that I’ve been having.
Well, now that I’m aware of the problem, I can start taking better actions.
3 weeks left until spring is over.
I’ll wait for LE’s update while catching up with HeO in the meantime.
I expected it to come sooner, but i suppose we’ll have to wait longer.
HeO was supposed to be in a break for longer, but i’ll use it sooner just because nothing is filling its spot right now. The plan was to take a break from HeO, use the updated LE/EE without it to gain more clarity, then add HeO back into the stack.
Now I can’t use both. LE is not updated yet and EE is a new sub. I can’t go on another sub hopping spree with a new sub right after i did one a while ago, even after a long washout.
1.5 months of break from HeO is not bad either.
I’d rather use HeO than any other sub at this moment.
No recon from DRR2. 30s.
Microlooping is the key.
I wonder whether I’ll be able to surpass 50s now.
I’ll take it slow, 35s next, then 40s.
My problem with DRR2 was jumping ahead too quickly.
I should have started with a microloop half a year ago.
Well, I did expect it to be just as smooth as DRR1 back then, so I did jump the gun.
Funny how I started DRR1, a sub that’s almost invisible to me, from +3s every listening day, while jumping straight to 15m of DRR2, a sub that I should start microlooping with instead.
Huh, seems like one of the blockages relating to this has finally melted.
Horaay HeO + DRR2.
Did i go on a sub hopping spree every time i took off HeO from the stack?
That… kinda makes sense.
I feel complete with HeO.
Getting it off from my stack makes me feel like something’s missing.
It’s most likely a coincidence, but it makes sense.
I need to take this into consideration when I need to take a break from the sub.
Anyway, i feel normal now that I’ve been running HeO again.
Maybe 2 months off from HeO every 4 months is practically too much for now, i need to reconfigure the plan.
Maybe it’s also one of the reasons I’m not satisfied with LE. I was trying to use it as a replacement to HeO.
HeO has the perfect balance for fulfilment, productivity, cognitive enhancement etc.
Hoping another sub to be able to take its place in the meanwhile is just not feasible.
LE, DRR and other subs should be thought of as a booster on top of HeO. Not as a replacement.
This makes it clear also that swapping HeO for HLB might be too risky. I’ll stick to my plan, continue using HeO, and wait until next year before I use HLB.
I’m naturally getting into 2 rest days in between listening days.
This is interesting.
The long lasting change from LBFH is in effect.
I love it.
Well, i’ll take an early washout now.
I just feel like i have enough exposure from HeO & DRR2 that i don’t really need to listen to them as often.
The effects are just as strong as when i use them every other day anyway. Even if it’s actually weaker, i don’t mind it. The subs are already super strong as is anyway.
Wow… That was some intense healing manifestations from DRR2.
How the fuck?
I can’t even brush this off to confirmation bias or something.
It’s as blatantly a manifestation as it gets.